Funny / The Walking Dead (Telltale)

Warning: Spoilers for previous episodes may be present and unmarked in each section.

Season 1

In general

• As you may already know, you can choose Lee not to say any response whenever possible or the option "..." is available. However, there's a Let's Play dedicated to this. You can watch the entire playlist here, or a different version here.
  • One hilarious point is when Lee finds out The St Johns are Cannibals. Lee can be silent the entire time, doing nothing but standing and looking angry, and everyone acts like he's lost his mind. Then Brenda realizes what Lee's done and spills the beans anyway.
  • As remaining silent when meeting the cancer survivors results in Lee being shot, anyone at that point must either threaten them or reason with them. If Lee threatens them, Vernon will later say at the mansion "Look what you did to make me come with you", even though the scene where you convince him to come with you happens slightly later, and Lee doesn't have to say anything.
• Some jerk options from Lee can actually be assholishly hilarious. For example:
  • During a dispute in the pharmacy in Episode 1, siding with Larry would result in this statement, "We'll do what you say! We'll toss Duck out and save the group!" in a somewhat fiery tone. Kenny's reaction's tone while saying "Lee??! What the fuck, man?!" is understandably surprised, as if Lee suggested that all of sudden and out of nowhere.
  • In Episode 2, Lee's not only not giving the rations at all to any of Kenny, Duck, or Clementine, but also keeps them for himself; prompting Kenny to angrily said "What exactly is your problem?!" By this point, you know that you Cross the Line Twice.
  • And of course, there's also "Fuck you, Larry! Eat up!" in Episode 2 as mentioned below.
  • Another is "Put the gun down, bitch!", again in Episode 2 as mentioned below.
  • When Clementine is missing, Lee can say something like this to Kenny: "A little girl is missing and you still think about yourself?! Go fuck yourself, Kenny, and grow the fuck up!" Kenny's expression is priceless, although he also immediately responded in anger.
  • Ask Molly about her past, and then respond with "I don't care about your life story, Molly."
    Molly: Then, maybe you shouldn't have asked!
• This video made by an ex-Telltale employee, in which Lee gets really mad about a cabinet being empty.

Episode 1 — A New Day

• "HEY! ARE YOU DEAD?!"
• Lee attempts to use a universal remote control... to open a combination padlock.
  Lee: Open sesame.
  Doug: That...won't work.
  Lee: I was kidding.
  Doug: It's universal, but not that universal.
• Talking to Clementine:
  Lee: Feeling good is... good.
• Carley has a Crowning Epic Fail of Funny with the radio. If you help her try to get the radio to work, it turns out the reason why is because the batteries are missing. After finding some batteries and giving them to a slightly embarrassed Carley, she complains it still doesn't work. Flip the radio over: the radio won't work because she put the batteries in facing the wrong way. Seriously, woman?
  • If you choose her over Doug, then in the second episode she still hasn't lived it down after a three month Time Skip.
• This exchange:
  Hershel: If your leg gets hot or the swelling doesn't go down, you're probably dealing with an infection.
  Lee: What do we do then?
  Hershel: (calmly) We'll probably just have to shoot you.
  (Beat, with Clementine making a priceless expression in the background)
  Hershel: We'll clean it, redress it and it'll be fine.
  Lee: Okay. That'd be preferable.
• If Hershel catches you in an outright lie, you get a notification that "Hershel will definitely remember that."
• Clementine and Lee commenting on the smell in Hershel's barn. The other choices will lead to Clementine saying "doo-dee", which is pretty funny on its own, but Clem's reaction if you decide to say "Shit" is pretty priceless.
  Clementine: It smells like...
  Lee: Shit.
  Clementine: *gasps in disbelief*
  Lee: I'm sorry, shouldn't talk like that.
  Clementine: That was a swear!
• When you rescue the girl at the motel, she mentions that her boyfriend got bitten, died, came back as a zombie, and bit her.
  Glenn: (saddened) You have a boyfriend?
  Carley: GLENN!
• When meeting Kenny's family, Duck is his usual hyperactive self. He shows up, breathless and excited, blurts something out, and bolts off, leaving Kenny to the introductions:
  Kenny: That's my son, Ken Jr. We usually call him Duck, though.
  Lee: Dodging or quacking?
  Kenny: Quacking.
  Duck: (offscreen, impatiently) DAAAAD!
  Kenny: See?
  • If you choose "Who names their kid Duck?" you get this:
    Kenny: Nothing bothers him. Like water off a duck's back, you know?
    Lee: Seems like a valuable trait to have, lately.
    Kenny: Yeah. But frankly, I think it's because he's dumb as a bag of hammers. (pause) But he makes up for it with enthusiasm.
• Shawn's awkward response if Lee mentioned his ex-wife after the former asked about Lee's family.
  Shawn: "Ah. Oh. Yeah. Sure."
• During the motel clean-out sequence, you can grab a pillow as a tool and look at one group of zombies.
  Lee: I've got two corpses and one pillow.
  Glenn: An age-old problem.
• If you talk to Lilly and Larry after the latter is suffering from his heart condition.
  Lee: He's got a temper.
  Larry: Ah, fuck you!
• Near the start of the game, when you meet Sandra and Lee is backing away from her towards Clem with the hammer, you can seemingly kick Sandra an indefinite amount of times.

Episode 2 — Starved For Help

• Kenny's face if you offer him food. Derp.
• When Lee looks at the block of salt in the barn, Duck tells him it's a salt lick.
  Clementine: But don't lick it, it tastes gross.
  Lee: Did you lick it?
  Clementine: (Beat) I dunno...
• If you told Clementine the barn smells like shit in Episode 1, she pipes up that the barn in Episode 2 smells like shit in front of everyone in the barn, including Kenny's family and even Andrew St. John, causing all of whom to stare at her and Katjaa to give Lee the evil eye. Lee then has to hypocritically admonish her for using a swear word.
• If Doug is in your group when Brenda St. John offers the basket of biscuits, it cuts away from him for just a couple of seconds. The next time he's in the shot, he's chewing and crumbs fly out of his mouth when he says, "Sorry."
  • He then returns to the motel along with Ben, but eats ALL the biscuits on the way.
• When you first visit the dairy and say to Mark the group should help out whatever they can, then tell Andy "No one fucks with us", and then talk to Mark, this exchange can happen:
  Lee: I may have turned Andy off when talking up our guns.
  Mark: Shit, well...do something to turn him on again!
  (beat as Lee looks at Mark)
  Mark: You know what I mean.
• When Kenny and Lee are trying to get through a locked door;
  Kenny: Hey, Lee. You know how to pick a lock, right?
  Lee: No! Why would you say that?
  Kenny: Well. You're... you know... urban?
  Lee: Oh, you are not saying what I think you're saying.
  Kenny: Jesus, man, I'm from Florida! Crazy shit just comes out of my mouth sometimes!
• At the St. John Dairy:
  Larry: I got charm comin' out of my ass!
  Lilly: Yeah, that's... real charming, Dad.
• After Lee and Kenny's encounter with Danny in the barn, Brenda hears Lee approaching the farmhouse and calls out asking if it's Andrew or Danny. One possible response is a goofily Southern-accented "Yeah! It's me!" Somehow made funnier by Brenda's very immediate reaction: "Oh my god!"
• If Lee chooses to kill Jolene while she's on her crazy rant, he will say the laziest Pre-Mortem One-Liner ever: "Screw this." [shoots her]
• And the achievement for finishing the chapter - "You Fight Like a Dairy Farmer".
• If you ask why there's a wheelbarrow full of bloody, discarded clothes to Danny, he'll attempt to cover his tracks with a lie that holds absolutely no water.
• The otherwise very tense scene where you try to warn everyone that they're going to eat Mark's legs can get some levity if, in response to Larry grousing "it's always something with this guy," Lee replies "Fuck you Larry, eat up!" The close up of Larry eating and chewing a piece of Mark's legs is as priceless as it is disturbing. Following this, Larry's Oh, Crap!, combined with I Ate WHAT?!, expression is priceless!
  • Also, out of the three things Lee can shout when he comes into the room, you can have him shout "IT'S PEOPLE!", referring to the food. Brenda responds by simply saying that, yes, this is a room full of people. However, the comedy comes at a cost, as having him say this results in Clementine eating the food. It's like the game is giving you a dopeslap for trying to be meta.
• At the start of the episode, Mark and Lee are talking about why Larry dislikes him (Lee) - the player has a choice of reasons as to why Larry dislikes him, including "he's a old racist asshole". Later when Mark and Larry are fixing the wall and ask for Lee's axe, Mark will tell Larry to stop fighting with Lee as racism is outdated. It's kind of hilarious how Mark can't keep his mouth shut.
• At the start of the episode, Clementine is showing Ben and Duck a picture she drew. Neither of them can guess what it is.
• "Put the gun down, bitch!" is a response you can give to Brenda St. John when the latter was holding Katjaa in a gunpoint, making the response a case of Too Dumb to Live. Unsurprisingly, this results in a Non-Standard Game Over.

Episode 3 — Long Road Ahead

• When Duck volunteers himself to help you find clues about the stolen supplies, he naturally compares himself to a certain sidekick.
  Duck: You're the world's greatest detective and I'm Dick Grayson, your ward! (Beat) That's Robin!
  Lee: I know who that is!
  • If you decide to try and make sure Duck doesn't help you solve a mystery, then he'll decide to help regardless of what you say, and then he'll talk for a while before walking off to find clues. The notification increases it:
    "Looks like Duck is going to help you, anyway."
  • Even funnier now that Telltales have made Batman: The Telltale Series.
• Early on, while searching for clues about who is stealing supplies, Duck helps Lee out and at one point you have the option to high-five him. If you do, a message appears on the screen that says "Duck thinks you are incredibly awesome."
  • And if you don't high-five him. You left Duck hanging. He spends most of the remaining scene looking angry.
• If Lee shows the broken flashlight to Carley, the resulting conversation is hilariously awkward.
  Lee: Do you know anything about this flashlight?
  Carley: It's broken!
  Lee: I know it's broken!
  Carley: And the batteries might be in backwards.
  Lee: It uses just one.
  Carley: Everything should... What was the question?
• If Lee shows the broken flashlight to Doug, on the other hand...
  Lee: Do you know anything about this flashlight?
  Doug: (starts to say something)
  Lee: (interrupts) W-wait, I know you know everything about this flashlight. I mean if you know anything about how it got broken.
  Doug: Oh. No.
• Asking Doug if he has any chalk results in him mentioning that the kids have it. He then goes on to explain everything that's in chalk, and the year it originated in. Lee's response makes it all the better.
  Lee: I did not know that Doug.
• If Lee shows the flashlight to Clementine we get this exchange.
  Lee: You didn't accidentally break a flashlight, did you?
  Clementine: No. Did Duck say I did?
  Lee: No. Did Duck break the flashlight?
  Clementine: I don't think so. He's just always blaming me for stuff.
  Lee: Like what?
  Clementine: Putting a bug on his pillow.
  Lee: Did you do that?
  (Beat)
  Clementine: (mischievous smile) Yes.
  • Later when Lee is asking Duck if he's found any more clues.
    Lee: Have you found anything else?
    Duck: Just the chalk. I also found some bugs underneath the stairs. Don't tell Clementine.
    (Beat)
    Lee: Okay... I won't.
• If you gain Kenny's loyalty, Kenny's quiet Oh, Crap! reaction if you tell him that you're a criminal. And this lead to this conversation after a long pause:
  Kenny: (casually) It wasn't for touchin' kids, was it?
  Lee: Gah, come on, man!
  Kenny: What? I gotta ask!
  • Also before you tell him about it, "Oh man, what'd the she-devil do to you..."
• After meeting a slightly nutty hobo:
  Katjaa: It's nice to meet someone normal for a change.
  Lee: (opens his mouth to say something, then changes his mind)
• Ben's guilty, shifty-eyed look when Lee finds him eating the last of Chuck's candy.
• If Lee speaks to Clementine after her first marksmanship lesson:
  Clementine: My hands hurt. And there's a noise in my head, like eeeeeeeeeeeee!
  • And don't forget the pout she makes when Lee tells her he has to cut her hair so it'll be harder for anyone to grab her (Walkers or otherwise). It's like >8[
• If you look closely in the RV, you can see Banang sitting in the cupholder.
• Lee complaining about Clementine's passivity towards Omid's swearing, "Oh, so he gets to swear?"
• The conversation between Clem and Lee reveals that another man had tried breaking into her house during Chapter 1, by throwing a rock at the sliding-glass door.
  Lee: ...The door was open!
  Clem: He was dumb.
• This exchange:
  Christa: Who the hell is into Civil War history anyway? Other than old white guys?
  (Beat)
  (Lee slowly raises his hand)
  • It's his expression that does it. His grin stretches from ear to ear.
• Upon meeting Omid and Christa and introducing them to your gang, there is an oddly long period of time where you can pick what to say. As it goes on, the two travelers explain what they're here for, but run out of things to say fairly quickly. Omid... makes an attempt to garner a reaction. Chuck offers something else.
  Omid: So... yeah. Hi. ...Again.
  (Beat)
  Chuck: ...Ya'll want some candy?
• There are three ways that Lee and Omid jumping onto the train can play out: If Lee pushes Omid, Omid gets hurt because he wasn't ready to fall; if Lee tells Omid to jump, he refuses at first and jumping too late somehow messes up the landing; but if Lee is silent or goads Omid into jumping by saying all right stay here and they'll go with Omid's lady, Omid jumps first and still hurts himself, making it look like he just sucks at falling.
  • If your you do nothing Omid will decide that the walkers are scarier and will push Lee down to the train, Lee is unharmed while Omid still gets injured.
  • When Christa and Omid are running along side the train, you can elect not to help either of them and just shout "RUN FASTER!" The mean options are often comical.
  • If you choose to get Omid on the train first he'll start screaming at you for leaving her behind, making you think that she's gonna die... only for her to just casually jog up and jump on the train. Because unlike Omid, she doesn't have a fucked up leg and can run just fine.
• Talking to Ben on the train after exhausting all of his conversation options results in this unintentionally funny gem:
  Lee: Hey Ben.
  Ben: (hopefully) Hey.
  Lee: See ya.
  Ben: (Looks away again, depressed) Yeah.
  • This could be intentional by the developers, because they want to give players a chance to give Take That, Scrappy! to Ben.
• When you're teaching Clementine how to use a gun, she'll ask you if there's anything else she needs to know (e.g. holding her breath to steady the shot). If you don't respond, she'll give Lee a confused, skeptical look and say "I guess I probably know everything, then. Being a little girl and all."
• Recall back at episode 2 when Kenny assumed Lee may be able to pick locks because he's, uh, "urban". It gets a callback near the end of episode 3 where Lee and Clementine get to the locked door of a train station. As he gives her a boost, Lee thinks about lock-picking the door.
• If asked if Ben ever went into Macon, he'll say that he didn't go there that frequently, and found it kind of pointless, unintentionally insulting Lee, who is from Macon. Ben immediately tries to save face and apologize.
• When you have to cut Clementine's hair. When Lee says "Don't mope, it's a good thing." The look she gives him is priceless.
• One of the options when cutting her hair's funny too.
  Clem: Have you ever cut hair before?
  Lee: How hard can it be?
  Clem: I'm gonna look like a boy... (reaches up to feel her hair and glares)

Episode 4 — Around Every Corner

• Should you take Clem with you to Crawford, Lee will ask her to stay with Ben while he goes looking for supplies. Both lines in the exchange are hilarious:
  Clementine: (with a combination of nervousness and incredulity) You're leaving me with Ben?
  Lee: I'm not leaving you with Ben. I'm leaving Ben with you.
  • The funniest thing about Lee's line is that, given the discrepancy of competence between Ben and Clementine, he may actually be serious.
  • Even better, the way people just say the word Ben throughout this chapter and the next. From their tone, they might as well just have called him the walking liability and it would have been just as obvious how they felt about it.
• While hiding from walkers after the bell is rung, Kenny drops this gem:
  Kenny: Whatever, man. I find whoever's doing that, I'll ring their motherfucking bell for 'em.''
  • Even Lee admits that was a good line.
• When you get back to Clem after going to get the battery, you find her sitting at a desk, as though she were back at school.
• The dialogue options (aside from the usual silence) available when you and your group encounter a herd of zombies are, "Oh, shit," "Oh fuck," and "RUN!!!"
• If you used "manure" with Clem in Episode 1, if you say, "Holy shit!" in her presence, she'll primly remind, "Swear."
• One of the segments of Chapter 6 is titled simply as thus: "Ben Screws Up". It is dismayingly accurate.
• "So, now we're on a roof."
• After Ben removes the hatchet that was holding the playground door shut, Lee asks "Where did you get that?" like he's talking to a 5 year old.
• When the group is escaping from the school and Ben confesses to making a deal with the bandits, that caused the death of Kenny's family the group votes whether or not to keep him with them. If Clementine is with you she'll ask if she gets a vote. You can say "no".

Episode 5 — No Time Left

• "You ruined that dude's face."
  • "Shut up, sweetie."
• The player can have a morbidly hilarious I Am A Goddamn Idiot moment if they attempt to grab a baseball bat to fight off a Walker, only to be reminded that they are handcuffed to a radiator. This goes double if you had your free arm amputated at the start of the episode.
• On the way back to the mansion, a walker is standing outside the gate. Lee nonchalantly shoots it in the face, and the look on his face speaks leagues about how much of a nuisance it was.
• Notification: "This is going to hurt." Boy howdy.
  • If Christa is the one to cut off Lee's arm, he can ask for her to do it quickly. The actual suddenness with which she jumps into it is terrifyingly hilarious.
  • It's even more hilarious if Lee starts to say something and gets interrupted by the sound of his own agonized screaming.
  • Even better is how he phrases the decision.
    Lee: Fuck it. Cut it off.
  • If you bring only Ben with you and decide to cut off the arm, Lee will be forced to do it himself. Not only that, Ben faints just from seeing how he does it. Now that is just new level of useless.
• When asked how his arm is feeling, one of Lee's responses is "It was my least favorite hand, anyway."
• Kenny reacting to the boat being stolen by Vernon and the cancer support group:
  Kenny: I don't give a fuck if their Make-A-Wish was a fuckin' boat ride, I'm gonna find them and rip their throats out!
• When Kenny is talking about the possibility of a "Larry situation" in the attic due to Lee's condition, Lee can say "Fine, what do you want to do?" and it'll bring this exchange:
  Lee: Okay, what do you want to do?
  Kenny: Just... talk about it.
  Lee: Does that conversation end with me getting somethin' "dropped" on my head?
  Kenny: Now HEY!-
• When Lee turns around to see The Stranger behind him and aiming a pistol at him, one of his possible dialogue choices is a simple hello. This throws the poor guy off his stride a little.
  Stranger: Okay... This is civil.
• The group is working themselves up to using a sign to cross from one rooftop to another.
  Omid: Well, at least it doesn't look like a deathtrap.
  (on cue, the sign creaks ominously, earning Omid a Look from Christa)
  (Omid returns it with a wide-eyed look before saying "Who's going first?")
• When Lee has to jump from a bell tower to the top of the hospital, he assures the group that he can make it. You can, however, choose...
  Lee: (to himself) I'm so fucked.
  • The option to psych yourself up for it isn't too bad either:
    Lee: You got this. You got this, motherfucker!
• "Fuck it. I'm going for it!"
  • Also, if you wait a while before jumping back to the hospital from the bell tower, Omid will start shouting encouragement. "I believe in you! ...On three, okay? One, two, three! ...You didn't jump!"
• While the group is resting for a moment in the attic, Kenny bluntly and without warning describes Larry as having been "built like a brick shithouse." It's a fun bit of levity that comes in the middle of a very grim and tense sequence.
• Clem realizing fairly quickly that Lee is going to coat her in zombie guts — she says, "...Oh, no..." Then the little Squicky shivering noises as Lee applies it to her is oddly hilarious.
• The Stranger says that Clementine "wouldn't hurt a fly."... On schedule - cue Clementine smashing him over the head with either a lamp or a bottle in a massive case of dramatic irony! She is, in fact, so successful at smashing him over the head with the bottle (if she uses that instead of the lamp!), that she doesn't even break the bottle.

400 Days

400 Days

• Wyatt Leaning on the Fourth Wall during his observations.
  Wyatt: *on a rear view mirror* Can't see shit.
  Eddie: Who are you talking to?
  Wyatt: Uh, you?
  Eddie: Oh. *Beat* What did you say?

  Wyatt: *upon finding a backpack* It'd be great, backpack if you could tell me if your owner was alive or not.
  Wyatt: Alright, I guess I'll just keep talking to myself out here because that makes sense...
• Nate has a funny way of getting Russell to "loosen up":
  Nate: Come on, scale of 1 to 10... What do you think?
  (a female walker starts bashing on the passenger side window)
  Nate: She was slammin' before she was rotten, right? What do you think? Here, get a look.
  (Nate rolls the window down and the walker grabs Russell)
  Russell: FUCK!?! AHH! AHHH!
  Nate: Like a nine, right?!
  Russell: GET OFF ME!
  Nate: Maybe you got high standards.
  Russell: NA—HELP!
  Nate: If you say five, I'm gonna flip. Tell me, Russ!
• Wyatt and Eddie's conversations in general. They're just two slacker-like type friends discussing and dealing with serious things in a rather humorous way. Eddie's story about Abigail is pretty much takes the cake:
  Eddie: You know, one time I was going out with this girl right; Abigail, you remember her. She told me that... she was five I think, her dad took her to the circus sideshow. They walked around for a while. Saw the chick with two heads. Saw a dude with lobster hands. Some kind of monkey-human with a dick for a face, I don't know. She also said there was a little girl in there the size of an apple, but I called bullshit on that one. The point is, she saw there was this guy standing there, buck-naked and singing this weird— Are you even listening to me?
  (Beat)
  Eddie: The guy peed on her dad.
• Repeatedly tying at Rock–Paper–Scissors elicits some funny responses from Eddie.
• "Fuck Wall Street."
  • "FUCK Wall Street!"
    • "Fuck. Wall Street."
• If you have Russell introduce himself as "Asswipe", Nate will mention it throughout the entire story.
  Russell: Leave me alone.
  Nate: Asswipe. Asssswiiipe. Come on, man.

  Russell: You're fucking rude, man.
  Nate: Asswipe's giving me fucking manners lessons?

  Nate: Asswipe can move!
• During Shel´s story you can try to talk with one of the walkers Roman keeps chained up as guard dogs. You read that right, you can try to have a conversation with a zombie. It goes as you might expect.
  Shel: (approaches).
  Walker:(Lashes out grunting and screaching).
  Shel:(Backs away).

Season 2

In General

• For an eleven year old girl, Clem gets a lot of responsibility and even some authority from the adults in her group. She's the only one who knows how to turn off a windmill, using her cunning intellect to use the key in the panel. You can make Clementine lampshade this in Episode 3.
• It's depressingly funny when the embodiment of human goodness from Season 1 is played as an evil, cynical, manipulative she-devil.
• This whole fan-made abridged version of Season 2.

Episode 1 — All That Remains

• Some point after Luke sees your bite from the dog you can get this line:
  Luke: So, a dog runs up, bites you, and then just... disappears? Just some magical asshole dog in the forest?!
• Pretty much any time Clementine breaks out the Puppy-Dog Eyes, but especially against Alvin, who calls her out on it... before giving in anyway.
• Clementine's rather deadpan attitude to sewing herself up. It's probably a coping mechanism, but it's still hard to not at least chuckle when she breaks the tense atmosphere with lines like "This Is Gonna Suck."
• Luke is incredulous when Pete decides to take Clementine at her word that she was bitten by a dog, not a walker, and decides to bring her back to the group based solely on that. Pete counters that he has a good "bullshit detector" and that's why Luke he always wins at poker. Luke is about to object to this but cuts himself off mid-sentence affirming that, yes, Pete has won every single time they've played poker and he's just that good.
• When Clementine sneaks into Sarah's room to ask her for help Sarah is afraid of what her father would do if he found out. If you choose to ask what he would do Sarah says that he tells her he's disappointed in her and that he loves her and only wants her to be safe. Clem is not impressed.
  Clementine: That's it? Nothing else?
  Sarah: Yeah, it's the worst.
  • Even coming across her the first time can be unintentionally funny. Open the door and dramatic music starts playing until Clementine realizes that it's just Sarah. She then shushes her.
  • If you choose not to be her friend and check back at the room she's in, Sarah screams at you to go away like a child having a temper tantrum. Surprisingly, this doesn't alert the others.
• You can invoke a G-Rated I Need a Freaking Drink of sorts by having Clem drink heavily from her juice-box before and after the particularly unpleasant parts of her arm-stitching.
• If, in Season 1, you describe the barn as smelling like "shit" during your conversation with Clementine, during the scene in Season 2 when she drops her water bottle she'll say "Oh, shit!" instead of "Oh, shoot!"
• During the window conversation with Alvin while you're sneaking around you can threaten to tell his wife to which he responds...
  Alvin: ...Muthafucka!
  Clementine: Hey! Language!
• Clementine, after having been locked in a shed, has managed to sneak into the house and has found herself stuck in the bathroom with Rebecca approaching: You can hide in two places - the cupboard that contains nothing but towels... or the bath tub. Either way, you're breathing heavily and mere inches away from being discovered and it's only a wooden door... or a piece of fabric the thickness of a sheet to protect you.
• Clementine can be the biggest of bitches ever when dealing with Rebecca in this episode. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy people (read "many" as "everyone") chose to go down this route at first.

Episode 2 — A House Divided

• When Carver is scouting the cabin, Clementine has the option of lying to him about seeing the Cabin group by saying they're dead.
  Carver: The river? Now, are you sure about that? Because these folks are actually pretty careful.
  Clementine: If you say so.
• People comparing Clementine to a girl on a can of peaches. She is not amused.
  • After the second time, you have the option of Clem looking at the can of peaches and making an expression that just says "Do I really look like that?"
  • Though she was probably having that expression because she knows that those cans of peaches were the same ones that were in Matthew's lodge. If they're the same cans, then that means that the two people must've shared food. Which likely means that they were buddies or allies, or maybe both. Which implies that the Matthew Walter is talking about is the one Nick killed.
• While talking about Carver and his group hunting them, Alvin gives us this little gem.
  Carlos: We can't be sure. They might be tracking us.
  Alvin: Tracking? Who do you think they are, ninjas?
• Clementine's face if you went with Pete and he asks for a cigarette. You can say they're gross and he'll get nasty and make her use her lighter. She makes a face like she's annoyed and frustrated.
• On the bridge you get this choice:
  Clementine: "I'm not an asshole."
  Luke: "Are you saying I'm an asshole?"
  • Interestingly, this could be a Shout-Out to Survival Instinct (see Survival Instinct entry below).
• While climbing up the Ski Lift, you can make another crack at Luke's expense.
  Luke:(in a comforting tone, with his arms out) Just look at me...
  Clementine:(Looks back down at Luke) You look like an idiot.
  Luke:(Folds arms) >:[ Just climb the thing already!
• Just before you cross the bridge, when Clementine's having trouble pulling her hammer out of a walker's skull:
  Luke: Just give it a good pull. It'll come loose.
  Clementine: I know. I've done this before. Remember? In a shed?
• Luke's meek defense of the cabin group if you say you're only with them because you don't have anywhere else to go:
  Luke: We're uh... We're smarter than we look.
• Some moments when you're teaching Sarah how to shoot:
  • This instance of Clementine parroting what Lee said to her without really understanding what it means.
  Clementine:(referring to gun) It's just a thing.
  Sarah: What does that mean?
  Clementine: ...I don't know.
  • This:
  Clementine: Before you go to shoot, take a breath.
  Sarah: (Takes a REALLY deep breath and holds it)
  Clementine: Not that deep.
  • Aaand this:
  Sarah: What should I shoot? (Aims her thankfully unloaded gun at Clementine's head)
  Clementine: ! (Ducks) Don't do that!
• When Luke tells her to climb a ski lift, Clementine can make the following response:
  Clementine: What am I, a monkey?
• Remember earlier when Pete said if Clementine ever tried to fire a rifle she'd probably get knocked on her ass? Turns out he was right.
• Nick does a shockingly good impression of Carlos.
  Nick: They're probably over there talkin' 'bout me now. (puts on a Spanish accent) "Luke, he's becoming a danger to the group."
• Kenny calls Nick "Vanilla Ice" during an argument. Good to know his wit hasn't degraded any.
• In the scene where Kenny and Clementine are catching up, she has the option of saying Christa told her he was dead. He responds with this gem:
  (with a wistful expression) I am. This is all a dream.
  • That's a bit Harsher in Hindsight considering that later he appears to be losing his mind over the death of his wife and son.
• When Walter tells Kenny that he and Clem were talking about politics and since he's from Florida, he should be familiar with it, Kenny responds with another gem:
  "Man, I know one advantage of living in the apocalypse is not having to deal with that shit no more."
  • This is also a Call-Back to Season 1, where you can make Lee said to Katja about things that have been bad before the outbreak, like banks and politics, and how those "craps" are all gone.
• Clementine giving a deadpan "ow" when Luke hits her affectionately on the back.
• When the adults open up the panel on the wind turbine and can't figure out how to turn it off, Clem offers to do it while they watch the area. She can promptly take the key that's hanging on a hook inside the panel and use it to turn the big red button that is presumably the emergency stop. Just the fact that the adults didn't even consider whether there'd be something as simple as an emergency stop is inherently funny.
• This exchange when Carver visited the cabin where there were only Clementine and Sarah at the time:
  Carver: "You know, you're not very polite for a little girl."
  Clementine: "And you're not very polite for an adult."
  • Also doubles as Moment of Awesome.
• This exchange after the group left the cabin and Luke suggested he would check the bridge with Clementine, which Carlos wanted to oppose:
  Carlos: "But she's just... she's just a little girl."
  Clementine (possible response): "You're not my dad, Carlos."
  Carlos: "And you're lucky you're not my daughter."
  Clementine: "Thank god."
• If Clementine doesn't help Sarah take her picture, Sarah will take the picture herself, making a silly face as she does so. It gets funnier when Carver finds the picture and shows it to Clementine.
• If you tell Troy that it's rude to kick you, this appears on the screen: Troy might remember this. Might.

Episode 3 — In Harm's Way

• Kenny cutting off his restraints and getting ready to jump Carver and his men...only for the truck to brake suddenly and smack his face into the door, knocking him out.
  Carlos: Probably for the best.
  • Also, Kenny's plan for taking on the group of armed men guarding the truck: punch the first motherfucker he sees, then use his gun to shoot the others. He's confident that it'll go over without a hitch.
  • In a darkly humorous example, The scene opens up on a shot of Kenny grimacing. Directly behind him is a warning label warning about a "Crush Hazard"
• Bonnie gives Clementine a blue rainbow jacket as a gift to keep her warm in the community. Whether Clementine finds it cute to wear or not, Bonnie insists that she'll be the envy of her friends when they see her wear the cool jacket. Then Tavia enters and says:
  Tavia: Oh, there you are. What's with the ugly jacket?
  Bonnie: Tavia!
  Tavia: What?
• Reggie's awkward way of showing affection to Clementine by patting her on the head. Looking at Clementine's unimpressed look, Reggie sheepishly apologises and promises not to do it again.
• Reggie boasts that Carver's place has working electricity and asks how many places can say that. Only to be informed by Sarah that the place they came from had a working generator.
  • Best bit is when Reggie quickly cuts her off saying "This isn't a competition!"
  • After the whole extremely awkward scene, he comments "This didn't exactly go to plan. Probably should have made a plan."
• Carver giving the group 'till 3 to give him the other walkie-talkie and then blatantly Moving the Goalposts by saying "3" just as Kenny gives it to him. It's not funny for long, though.
  Kenny: ...fucker.
• Clementine's awkwardness if you ask Sarah if she wants a hug after Carver made her dad hit her. She even says she'll sneak up on her later and give one when she least expects it. All in a stilted, uncomfortable tone.
• Troy's reaction when he walks outside and sees everyone, including the children, rubbing zombie entrails all over each other. Just imagine walking outside and seeing something like that without knowing what they were doing.
  Troy: What in the actual fuck is going on here!?
• If you wait a little bit when you get your first dialog option with Reggie, he'll say "... This freaks you out."
• Troy has quite possibly the the most hilarious last words in fiction since Craig Toomey in The Langoliers.
  "YOU SHOT MY DICK OFF, YOU BITCH!"
• After the third time in a single episode that someone needs to be picked for an important mission, everyone looks straight at Clem. One possible response to this is "Why is it always me?"
  • Even better, while everyone turns to look at Clementine, we see Luke, who only recently rejoined the group and is thus not fully aware of Clementine's role of doing basically everything. He notices people staring, glances around at them with a neutral look, notices just who they're staring at, and adopts a facial expression that's like an equivalent between Oh, Crap! and Flat "What".
  Luke: She's the plan?!
  Kenny: (shrugs)
• Clementine and Sarah's reaction to Troy asking them how their bathroom break went.
  "Everything come out all right, girls?"
• Sarita's calm and amused retaliation to Troy's Lame Comeback when she defends Reggie and Clementine.
  Troy: No one's talking to you...(stutters) Indian Lady!
  Kenny: Hey!
  Sarita: No, it's fine. I am Indian.
• In the beginning, when the group is tied up in Carver's truck, Carlos is trying to convince Kenny that his gung-ho attitude is going to get him (and maybe others) killed:
  Carlos: "I am pointing out that, regardless of intent, there are consequences to rash actions. Something that he seems to be misreading as capitulation."
  Kenny: I don't know what the FUCK you just said, but I know it's BULLSHIT!"

Episode 4 — Amid the Ruins

• When Luke realizes the thing they need to use to climb up into the skylight was also the thing that was blocking the door.
  Luke: Aw, shit.
• Mike, Bonnie and Clem finding a coat for Rebecca. A confederate coat.
  • While Mike is cautiously protesting the Unfortunate Implications, Rebecca, upon being given the coat, immediately asks if they think she would care about being picky about that in the circumstances.
• Mike proclaiming, in a completely deadpan voice, that he'd "eat the shit out of that raccoon," followed by him clarifying that he'd eat the raccoon after Clem and Bonnie give him weird looks.
  • "How'd I get to a place where I'm sad I'm not eating raccoon?"
• Clementine can tell Mike that Jane taught her to take out the knees to make it easier to kill walkers.
  Mike: A good smack to the head's always done fine for me.
  [Mike runs up and kills a walker with a blow to the head, but fails to kill the second in one blow]
  Mike: Oh crap! [kills the second walker with another blow]
  Clementine: So the knee is about halfway down the leg.
  Mike: Yeah, okay...
• When Clementine has to try and pick up a barrel of water. No matter how quickly you press 'Q', she can't do it. And then Mike comes and picks it up like it's weightless. Even though he's already carrying another, bigger water barrel.
• Luke summing up the entire game in a single sentence...
  "Does this shit ever end?!"
• While it is completely unintended, some Russian players have noted that the voice actors for the Russian Group have no idea how to pronounce their lines, turning an otherwise shocking and tense scene into a rather hilarious butchering of their language.
  • Ignoring that, however, one of the Russians - Vitali - has some hilariously Ax-Crazy lines.
    Vitali (Translated): "I can kill any three of them with my bare hands, we don't even need the weapons! That's right, I mean you, eyepatch man, you're weak and I could tear out your throat with my teeth, who needs to use bullets for the likes of you? I'll kill you all and eat your entrails for breakfast!"
• This cut joke Jane was supposed to tell Clementine Crosses the Line Twice.
  • What makes it better is how much it contrasts with Jane's normal personality as well as Clementine's reaction to hearing it.
  Jane: "Hmm, you know that old joke about the two hillbillies and all the sheep? Oh it's a good one. This father and son are walking through the county and climb a hill, and down below them see this field full of sheep. Now, the son gets all excited and says "Dad, let's run down there and fuck one of them sheep!" And the father looks at him and shakes his head, he's disappointed in him. "Son." he says, "That's just wrong!" The son hangs his head and the father says "Let's WALK down there and fuck ALL of them sheep!" Heh heh heh, you get it?"
  Clementine: "No."

Episode 5 - No Going Back

• Most of the interaction around the campfire is a mix of this and heartwarming, with Luke getting teased about having A Degree in Useless prior to the outbreak.
  • As is a joke about someone out there sitting on all of the student debt, waiting to cash in after the whole thing is over.
• While sitting around a campfire, Bonnie teases Luke over his and Jane's hooking up, leading to this exchange.
  Clementine: I know what you're talking about...
  Bonnie: I certainly hope not.
  Clementine: You're talking about kissing stuff.
  (Beat)
  Luke: Uh, yeah! Yes. Yes, that... that is exactly it.
  Mike: Was there any kissing?
  Bonnie: You shut your mouth right now. The both of you.
  • If Clementine talks to Jane about her "making it" with Luke, it's implied she was just playing dumb and actually does know what they were doing.
• If Clementine asks Jane hold the baby, Jane gets afraid that he might puke on her, and when she does hold him, he actually does.
• Kenny and Jane's sniping at each other is hilariously petty.
  Kenny: WHAT'S THAT SWEETHEART? CAN'T HEAR YA, YOU'RE TALKIN' INTO MY BAD EAR.
  Jane: Asshole!
  Kenny: NOPE, STILL CAN'T HEAR YA!
• Clementine showing her experience with her arm wound while cleaning Kenny's eye.
  Clem: So, this is gonna hurt like hell.
  Kenny: You could've lied a little.
• When Clementine is given the baby to look after while Kenny and Jane investigate the power plant, she glances at Mike who simply replies, "Nope. That's on you".
• As with Lee, choosing some of the "asshole" responses can lead to funny results, especially since they're coming from a young girl rather than an adult man. Encouraging Kenny to mistreat Arvo, for example, tends to cause Mike to give Clementine a bewildered look.

Season 3

Episode 1 - Ties That Bind - Part 1

• Kate discusses various things with Javi while the family is on the road, then suddenly wishes she could get laid. Javi's saucer-eyed reaction is priceless.
• After Clem discovers that Javi refers to the walkers as "muertos":
  Javi: What do you call them?
  Clem: Walkers.
  Javi: What about the ones that run?
  Clem: They're all fucking walkers, okay?
• Javi understand male puberty quite well:
  Javi: The second you start getting boners the whole world starts to get dark.

Episode 2 - Ties That Bind - Part 2

• If Javi agrees with Conrad to take Clementine hostage to negotiate with New Frontier, Clem will flip at Max when he recognizes her.

Episode 4 - Thicker Than Water

• Javi discovers Clem didn't leave like she said. And just his luck, happens upon her at the time she's having her first monthly. The sheer awkwardness veers into hilarity.
• Doctor Lingard is out cold from the drugs he took and Clem is trying to wake him up. Javi can slap him but he continues to snore. Even the Telltale message in the upper corner exclaims that "He doesn't feel a thing".
  Clementine: Wow. That guy's really out of it.''
• Clem seems to notice Gabe's crush on her - during a segment where Gabe is being difficult about being made to keep watch, Clem intervenes and tells Gabe she needs him to watch her back. He looks surprised before immediately complying. It's Kate's little 'I see what you did there' grin in the background that sells it.

Episode 5 - From the Gallows

• When Javi's group uses a crashed helicopter's blade to swing across a gap in the bridge, the blade collapses under Javi's weight, but luckily, he manages to climb back up. He can then choose to say "Fuck you, helicopter!".
• Kate declaring that she's done with David, especially if Javi agreed to pursue a relationship, is an extremely tense moment, but David's initial bafflement at why Javi would go with Kate when she declares she's leaving is actually pretty funny despite the situation.
  David: What the fuck is this?
• If you screw up one of the quick-time events when you go to rescue Gabe and David, you get Non-Standard Game Over/Downer Ending where you get bitten and you have one last talk with Gabe. It almost seems like a legitimate ending to the season until the Black Comedy of the YOU ARE DEAD screen half a second after Javi blacks out. It is to be seen to be believed.
  Javi: Tell... Kate... [dies]
  YOU ARE DEAD
• There's an Easter Egg during the part where during Javier walks through a group of walkers if you decide to walk back to where Javier was originally, a walker will pop up, spooking Javier. Javier begins to walk away from it.... then the walker starts talking about Grady Standard (A Telltale employee). Javier just stands there, looking in disbelief at the walker... then promptly gets eaten by an invisible walker.
  Walker: Grady Standard? Exemplary human being. Stand of excellence I always like to say. And what beautiful, golden hair.
  • Even funnier about this is the two random walkers dancing and jumping up and down behind the talking walker.
  • In the same scene, while just going through the group of walkers normally, during one instance when a walker turns to look at Javi and causing a tense moment of wondering if the walkers will catch on that he's not one of them... Javi slightly opens his mouth and makes the same "blehhhhh" growling the walkers do. The walker looking at him promptly turns and walks away.
• If Gabe survives, Javi will mentioned to Clementine that his nephew has a huge crush on her while cutting her hair. Clementine will suddenly get flustered and Javi will catch on that she too has a crush on Gabe to which she denies.
• After Javi finishes up Clem's haircut, she stands up to ask how it looks and smiles as she waits for Javi's answer. Not liking the job he did, Javi tells Clem he's just going to grab her hat. The quick drop of her face from excited to dismay is hilarious.

Season 4

Episode 1 - Done Running

• Clem asking what's wrong with AJ and referring to him as "goofball" causing AJ to tell her he's too big for the nickname. One option has Clem asking if he'd prefer to be called "shitbird".
• To distract AJ from his hunger, Clem suggests AJ practice his reading from a magazine. However, after hearing him read for a few seconds, she realizes he's reading on how to cook something.
  Clem: Never mind. That's only going to make you hungrier.
• Clementine asks Louis about his musical repertoire. He responds by saying he knows one other song but is hesitant to play it because she's armed. Turns out this one other song is "Oh My Darling, Clementine". Clem can either remark that she loves this song, or be decidedly unamused.
  • If you express dislike for the song or ask him to play something else, Louis instead segues neatly into singing the next line as "Dreadful sorry, Clementine". ^note The actual lyric is "dreadful sorrow Clementine".
• AJ gasping in surprise when he hears his guardian's name in "Oh My Darling, Clementine", and turning his head to glance back at Clem.
  • Also beforehand, when Clem hands her gun to AJ causes Louis to be understandably startled, and asking if AJ even knew how to use a gun.
  Louis: (nearly slams the piano keys) Um... (AJ checks the gun) Double "um".
• If you allowed AJ to swear in the beginning, when talking to Mitch and Willy, Mitch would talk about how the spear he's making could fuck-up some walkers, to which AJ joyfully replies, "Yeah, fuck up monsters!" Cue a beat from Willy and Mitch before they start laughing in amusement.
  Mitch: The little dude said 'fuck'!
  • However, if you reprimand AJ for swearing, similar to how Clementine was like when she was young, AJ will disapprovingly note Mitch's cussing and he is confused but apologizes while Willy gleefully points at him.
• During dinner with their new group, AJ's poor table manners disgusts Ruby especially after he and Louis burp. Clem can joins in and burp as well and Marlon will tell them to knock it off before burping as well. Disgusted, Ruby leaves the table and flips Louis.
  • Even funnier, the overhead reminder from Telltale points out "That's a good one".
• One of the questions, if you so choose to go down that route, is to ask about Marlon's haircut: Violet says it "looks like a dead cat" and that it probably "smells like one too." Marlon defensively says that he looks cool both times.
  • Another question that can be asked is asking about the worst injury they have witnessed which if players had Clem stay to see Carver be killed by Kenny can lead to this bit of dark comedy:
    Clem: I once saw this guy get his face beaten in with a crowbar. Badly. There wasn’t even any skin left.
    Louis: Ouch.
    Clem: (in the most apathetic tone) He deserved it.
  • You can also ask everyone what the grossest thing they've ever eaten is. For Violet, it's horse eyeballs. For Marlon, slugs. For Louis, it's cantaloupe.
    • Clem can take a dark turn on this when she says that she once ate a guy's leg. Cue a stunned silence from the other teens before she quickly adds that she was joking.
      Louis: [uncertainly] Are you?
  • On Clem's first question, if you wait just a second, Louis will start whistling. And Marlon will nod his head to the tune.
  • Violet will ask you who you think will die first out of Clem, Marlon, Violet, and Louis. Should you say Louis...
    Clem: Louis, definitely.
    Violet: Definitely.
    Marlon: Definitely.
    Louis: Definitely. [...] What? I would have said the same thing.
  • Louis' first question is to ask if Clem ever had a boyfriend, causing this exchange:
    Violet: [exasperated] Oh, my god.
    Louis: What? It happens. Perfectly valid question. She can ask me if I ever had a girlfriend. [To Clem] I haven't, by the way.
    Violet: Oh, I'm sure she's real surprised about that one.
  • Violet's reaction in particular is hilarious, as if Louis talking to or about girls and wanting a girlfriend is a common thing with him.
  • If Clem mentions about Gabe, one option is to call him a dork but the others will catch on and tease her about this.
• You can collect items to decorate your room with, and when you do, you will be notified that they're in your inventory now, along with a bit of text. Some examples are straightforward. Others are hilarious.
  AJ's Drawing
  He tried really hard.
• When talking about Louis, Marlon will call him a dumbass. But he's Marlon's best friend, so he's "legally allowed to call him that."
• Louis being slightly offended that's he's being bait for the walkers at the train station, but still goes along with it.
  Louis: Fine, I'll do it. But if I die, I'm making sure walker Louis eats both of you first!
• Special mention goes to if you have Clementine be strict and tell Louis to "Just get up there, the quicker we get this over with, the better." Louis will comment that he likes decisive women, to which Violet angrily asks him to stop [flirting]. Louis gives Violet a teasing look as if he knew his comment would annoy her and thus enjoys her reaction.
• His way of distracting the hoard? Grab the bell and beat it against the train, even asking the walkers what tune he was playing. When they obviously don't respond, he tells them it's Jingle Bells.
  • Just his overall dialogue and rambling while distracting the walkers. In addition to the above "guess the song" he also pulls the "got your nose" on them (then remarks that they don't have a nose, just a hole in their face), and dangles Chairles over the edge like a toy for a cat.

Episode 2 - Suffer the Children

• One of the shirts you can give AJ has the broccoli DJ on his shirt.
• At the greenhouse, if Clem eats a mushroom, she will choke and starts coughing. Mitch will laugh at her but Clem retorts that she is only doing it for science.
• The kids play a game of Truth or Dare using cards, Hilarity Ensues.
  • Violet asking Clem who'd she Fuck- Flip, Marry, Kill.
    • When choosing for "Flip", Louis starts chanting "flip" and AJ gleefully joins in. "Flip" for Ruby, and Louis will joke about how Ruby would react to that. If you chose to marry James, that leaves Aasim for "Kill", to which he mutters with relief, "Oh, thank god".
      Louis: What?! You'd rather die than marry or flip Clem?
  • Clem daring Aasim to ask Ruby for a kiss (who we find out he has a crush on). The group watches as Aasim asks but Ruby ends up punching him.
    Violet: Oh, damn!
  • Another option is to dare Aasim to kiss a walker's cheek.
  • When Louis wins, he asks Clem if there is anyone in the camp who she "like-likes".
    Violet: Seriously? "Like-like"? What are you, six?
    Louis: Seven, thank you.
• If Clem says she'd "flip" James, Violet comments how that's an "interesting" choice, and goes on to wonder if James "would even take off his walker mask to... You know what, never mind."
• Louis will low-key make jealous quips if Clem says she'd marry or "flip" James or Aasim, either telling Clem that he doesn't think she's Aasim's type (pointing out he's "into redheads" instead), or that he finds James a "horrifying" option.
• AJ asks if he's allowed to swear, and one of your choices can say "shit" is the limit. He starts using it as much as he can, and after two, Clem tells him that's enough.
  AJ: (looking out) Well shit.
  Clem: (glances down at him)
• This hilarious and adorable moment, should you go with Louis and carve a heart on the piano around his and Clem's initials.
  Louis: Oh. It's a... potato?
  [Clem smiles at him.]
  Louis: It's a heart, yep. It's a heart. I see that. That's cool. Really cool.
• If you have Clementine not do anything after carving her initial, Louis will comment, "Oookay, I'm gonna go ahead and take my knife back", and remark how scary she is staying silent while holding a knife.
• If you let AJ to swear, he will say the following:
  AJ: I fucking really hate that fucking dickhead shitfuck.
  • If you allow him to say shit only:
  AJ: I'd take a big shit on his head.
• "Well Clementine, you sure did raise a weird kid. Hm, no kidding, Clementine. Maybe cause you're the sort of person who talks to herself when she's alone".
• During the card game, Louis wanted to tease Clem about her hat but AJ tells him don't, either having experience about it or saw the last time someone teased her hat.
  Clem: [gives Louis a Death Glare]
  AJ: "Don't. She gets really mad."
  • If Louis mentions the hat, he will bring it up again before the raiders attack. He admits that he doesn't know what the "D" stands for but he hopes it means "Don't Die".
• You can also get some funny exchanges with Louis if Clementine stays friends with him, such as the two jokingly nicknaming each other:
  Louis: Friends to the end. You're the best, Clem-ster. ... Name's got a good ring to it. "Clem-ster". Style, grace, dignity.
  Clementine: No problem, Be-Lou-Ga.
  Louis: [looks very confused]
  Clementine: Your name's Louis. Lou. Be-Looou-Ga. Like the whale.
  Louis: Clem, for everyone's safety, leave the jokes to those of us with inborn skill.
• Another dialogue option is:
  Clementine: That doesn't work. How about Queen Clem?
  Louis: Self-aggrandizing, over-the-top, medieval roleplay. I like it. You know, King Louis was an actual person.
  Clementine: Nope, not happening.
  Louis: Aww. This friendship feels unbalanced, Your Majesty.

Episode 3 - Broken Toys

• Abel's wry commentary when Clem interrogates him. If she gives him water, he scolds her for letting him dictate the terms. If she plays bad cop, he says he can still tell she's an amateur. Even if she starts torturing him, he keeps up the sarcastic quips until he starts vomiting blood.
• Louis descending into Buffy Speak while commenting on his observations of the raiders' boat, calling it an "old-timey river boat" and referring to the brig as "boat jail".
• When AJ finds a salt lick, Clem can tell him not to lick it. Like Lee, AJ asks her if she licked one before. Her reaction is the same as before:
  Clementine: [Beat] I dunno...
  AJ: [suspiciously lifts his eyebrow]
  • Alternatively, Clem can tell him to lick it and the poor boy learns what she felt back then.
    Clem: [giggling] Well, now you know.
    AJ: Learning sucks.
• Clem finding a Beet-Nick toy and adding it to her collectibles. When she tells AJ what it's called, he finds it funny.
  Clementine: Do you even get what the joke is?
  AJ: [giggling] No!
• At the end of Clem's mini-date with Louis/dance with Violet, they will share a long look that seems to be them gearing up to kiss. AJ chooses that moment to barge in and bop a giant inflatable beach ball he just found right into Clem's face.
• When choosing candle colours for the party, if you're with Louis and choose green candles, he'll quickly rattle off the following before anyone else can get a word in:

  Louis: It'll look like we're trying to summon leprechauns. [to AJ] And before you ask, leprechauns are too hard to explain and don't really exist.

• In the group circle, Clem finds out that the first file Ruby reads was about herself, and Clem admits that she can see it.
  Clem: I remember when AJ bit her, she went up to me and was like, [imitating Ruby] "That little motherfucker!"
• Willy blurting out that he was sent to Ericson's for chronic masturbation walks the line between funny and disturbing considering how young he is; but Clem's Death Glare and order to keep his mouth shut when AJ asks what that means becomes this when the camera pans over to show Tenn whispering an explanation into AJ's ear.
  • It's the way Willy says it so proudly and with a big smile that really sells it.
    • After a few seconds of stunned silence, Louis/Violet will give a suitably deadpan reaction:
    Louis: Willy, I speak for all of us when I say nobody has ever, EVER wanted to know that.
    Violet: Trust me. Nobody wanted to know that.
• When James meets the others, they are all startled, but are quickly accepting. However, since he's still wearing his walker mask, this question from Tenn gets hilarious if you chose this option in Marry, Flip, Kill.
  Tenn: Is this the guy Clem said she'd marry?
  AJ: [smiling] Yup!
  • Even funnier as right after this exchange, if Clem was accepting towards his view of the walkers, James takes her away and reveals to her he had a boyfriend. It's as if hearing Clementine wanted to marry or "flip" him makes him pull her aside to tell her he's gay.
• Before they sneak into the Delta's ship, Clementine's love interest gets cold feet and Clem can give them a Motivational Kiss. The romantic atmosphere is then innocently ruined by AJ.
  AJ: [chuckles] What are you doing?
  Louis: [if present] You'll know when you're older.
  Clementine: [nervously] Go...look in another direction.
  • If it's Louis, he will ask her to slap him in the face in order to calm him down. Clem can comply or kiss him.
    Louis: [if kissed] I... can't tell if I'm more focused or less.
    
    • The face Louis makes after asking Clem to slap him is priceless. He confidently insists that he wants her to hit him in the face and then immediately cringes while he waits for her to do it.
• Regardless of whether you're with Louis or Violet, there'll be a funny moment when applying the walker guts to help them pass through the herd:
  • Violet will shyly ask Clem to get her back for her, as though they're applying sunscreen during a nice day at the beach.
  • Louis will insist that he's done, only for Clem to give him a stern look before smushing him directly in the face with a handful of walker guts.
    • And as ever, Louis has his priorities sorted out for the situation:
    Louis: You know, walker blood is one of the hardest stains to get out. You owe me some new clothes.

Episode 4- Take Us Back

• The back-and-forth quips between Clem and Lilly if the latter survives are funny, with Clem being able to tell Lilly to turn her defeat into her next parable, and Lilly sarcastically thanking Clem for giving her free ammo if Clem tries to shoot her.
• If you examine the stream in the cave, then the pile of wood, then the stream again, you'll find an Easter Egg of a walker floating down the stream in a lifebuoy. The GUI's response to this is a confused, "Huh."
• As James yells at Clem for telling AJ to shoot Lily, he angrily says that AJ emptied a full clip on the woman. James' baffled reaction is pretty hilarious while Clem doesn't appear surprised at all.
  AJ: [Seriously] It was only half a clip.
• The options you have for Violet and Louis on how to rebuild/rename Ericson.
  • Violet's reasoning for a rename is because "Fuck that guy."
  • If allowed to rename Ericson, Violet chooses "Texas". When told she can't just call it Texas, she changes her answer to "Texas Two".
  • You can have Clem suggest for Louis to add a treehouse to his house - a Call-Back to when she had her own, with Louis eagerly responding, "Hell yeah, a fucking treehouse!"
• If Louis lost his finger in episode 3, and Clem also lost hers in the determinant season 3 flashback, she'll tell Louis that the strange feeling of missing a finger will pass. Louis still manages to joke: "I'd ask you to pinky promise, but... yeah."
  • If Violet loses her finger, Clem apologizes for not being able to stop it, but she manages to find a bright side to it.
    Clem: I'm so sorry about your finger.
    Violet: (Flipping the Bird) (smiles smugly) At least I can still flip people off. Silver lining, I guess.
• Ruby openly belching at the dinner table — a callback to her indignation and disgust at Louis, AJ, and Marlon from the first episode; showing she's lightened up. Furthermore, AJ can either belch back, or he can tell Ruby that now she's the one being rude, both options resulting in lots of laughs from all the kids.
• At the dinner table, with Louis passing Clem a note she can giggle at what's written, which prompts AJ to lean over and see what was on it. Clem quickly takes the note away. According to game files, it was Louis asking Clem to be his girlfriend.
• Depending on the choices you've made, AJ will hold onto certain lessons, although the way he interprets is especially funny.
  • If you agreed to do the rock-paper-scissors for Abel, AJ will think, "Rock-paper-scissors solves all arguments."
  • With Violet's backstory, he thinks, "If your grandma's killed herself, don't watch cartoons."
  • If in episode 2 you reprimanded him for killing Marlon, but then at the end of episode 3 you told him to kill Lilly, the entire text box about when he does and doesn't consider it "murder" is just a long-winded ramble from AJ's perspective that ends with him thinking it's confusing.
  • If you choose to interrogate Abel in a brutal or tortuous way, the lesson that AJ will take from it is, "Sometimes torturing people is okay, I guess."
• A morbid example, when Clem asks AJ in the barn if there's any bullets and left and he says no and she says "Okay then, fuck", realizing she would have to be put down with an axe instead (a more gruesome death).

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