Funny / The Vampire Diaries

• Every scene between Damon and a newly-turned Logan in 1x10.
  Logan: I'm conflicted!
  Damon: Welcome to the club.
  • Can we extend this to every scene involving Damon and someone he either wants to gloat to or has a problem with that can't be solved immediately?
  • As well as all moments between Damon and Alaric, such as when Isobel returns to town.
  Damon: Did words completely escape you?
  Alaric: You know, I was a little too distracted by my dead vampire wife to ask any questions.
  • What, no mention of Damon when he's being flirty?
  (Stefan and Elena are being adorable and lovey-dovey in his bed
  Damon: Rise and shine, sleepy heads.
  Elena: Damon, please!
  Stefan: What are you doing?
  Damon: Oh, stop being so smutty.
  Stefan: [trying to cover up Elena's scantily clad body with the covers] Seriously man, get out of here!
  Damon: If I see anything I've never seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

  Scenes like the above are made all the much better by Damon doing his "flirty eyebrow thing."
• In "Disturbing Behavior, Damon and Sheriff Forbes are discussing Bill, her gay ex-husband and Caroline's father. Damon suggests killing him.
  Sheriff: Just because we're on good terms doesn't mean I'm okay with your... lifestyle.
  Damon: Is that what you told him when you got divorced?
• Almost every scene with Stefan at the beginning of the party in "Under Control" Specifically because it's very clear that he's not okay, and suffering terribly from the urge to drink human blood. What brings this into the funny territory is his arguing back and forth with Damon all while all this while twitching and jerking around like someone going through very real withdrawal. Of course this is before things start to become serious...
• After Tyler notices several clues about Caroline, he finally confronts her with his suspicion that...she's a werewolf.
• In "The Descent" Caroline is kissed by Matt and shortly after that by Tyler. She doesn't take it well:
  Caroline: Everyone just needs to stop kissing me!
• In "Daddy Issues" John keeps repeating to Elena that he wants to protect her. Her angry answer?
  Elena: Got it. Get in line.
• The look on Stefan and Damon's faces when they realize that they have accidentally created a secret superweapon.
• Klaus talking about the '60s, which "pretty much sucked" except for the Beatles.
• Damon's impersonation of vampires and Elena when giving a summary of what happened at the 50's dance.
  Damon: And the vampires were all 'GRRR!' and you were all 'AAAH'!
• Alaric needs to prove his identity, and brings up Jeremy walking in on him and Jenna while they were having sex causing Jenna to quickly say, "Okay, it's him!"
• Elijah running out of the Salvatore house after realizing he needed to be invited in
• Katherine dancing.
• Anytime Damon and Bonnie have a conversation. Especially in one episode when Bonnie sees that Damon has the wooden stake that will kill Klaus.
• In "The Hybrid" after Alaric finishes explaining his nature know-how
  Elena: You were a boy scout, weren't you?
  Alaric: [muttering] Shut up.
  • Later Elena pours some vervain water on some ropes.
  Elena: Ric, take these. [Damon reaches for the ropes and is burned] I said Ric.
• Damon's half hearted attempts at apologies to Mason Lockwood and Alaric in "Ghost World"
• As Damon hides his original-killing stake under the house's firewood:
  Alaric: Did you learn nothing from the moonstone in the soap dish?
  Damon: Why, where'd you hide yours?
• Klaus and Rebekah bicker like the siblings they are, over the best way to torture Damon.
• Klaus reading Caroline's Miss Mystic Falls application in "My Brother's Keeper".
• In episode 10 of season 4, Rebekah kidnaps Stefan, Caroline and Elena to interrogate them on how far they got on the cure. Upon finding out Stefan and Elena broke up, she proceeds to essentially toture them psychologically, asking more and more questions until she forces Elena to reveal she genuinely loves Damon. A long and sad silence, until...
  Caroline: What does any of this has to do with this stupid cure?
  Rebekah: ...you're right, we got off the point.
• Prof. Shane fanboying over Rebekah & Kol much like a good amount of the fandom would.
  Shane: Rebekah and Kol Mikaelson, two Originals! I can't believe it! This is such a trip!
  • Shane again when he and the others land on the island where Silas is sealed. The first he does is offer Damon sunscreen. Think about it.
  Damon: Really?
  Shane:...Oh, right.
• Kol, when he's about to cut off Jeremy's Hunter arm to stop them from raising Silas. First he reassures Jeremy, and just as he's going to do it, he asks out loud "Which one is it?" with this childish confusion on his face. And then he just shrugs and decides to cut off both arms, just to be sure.
• Rebekah gets one in 'Into the Wild,' when she lists out the reasons why Elena's presence is unnecessary on the island: "Shane is the walking compass, Jeremy has the Hunter's mark, Bonnie's the witch to break the spell, and Stefan and I are keeping an eye on the tombstone."
  Damon: What about me?
  Rebekah: You have a nice behind.
  • Damon's "you have a point" Shrug Take to her answer and Stefan's Actually Pretty Funny smile is what really makes the scene.
• Caroline's Oh, Crap! expression when, in 4x18, both she and Klaus understand just how much of her actual feelings for him she has revealed by angrily stating she should have turned her back on him ages ago (and realize she hasn't), as well as how close to each other they're standing. Crosses as a Heartwarming Moment, albeit a strange one, and a They Really Do Love Each Other one.
  • Also Klaus' "Hell, Yes!" Moment (which is evident by the look upon his face) sells it.
• Also, in 4x18, Elijah's phone greeting to Klaus.
  Elijah: Complication speaking.
• The sheer irony, near the end of 4x18, that, whilst Katherine is for once acting like Elena would, demonstrating her love for Elijah by entrusting him with the Cure and thus giving him decisional power over her life and their relationship, Elena instead acts like Katherine always did, with coldness and cruelty, by threathening to kill people until Stefan and Damon give up on trying to give her the Cure and by killing an Innocent Bystander to drive the point home.
• In the same episode, Rebekah, Damon, and Stefan's collective reaction to finding out that Katherine is sleeping with Elijah. Especially funny how each of them makes a slightly different variation on the classic "EW".
• Rebekah coaching Elena on how to act like Katherine. The two of them seem to be having a lot of fun with it.
• Rebekah snaps Caroline out of the trance Silas put her in by slapping her. Care's response?
  Caroline: Bitch!
  Rebekah (relieved): Here's the Caroline we all know and love!
• Before that, there's Rebekah saying, "Uncle Bob and Aunt Mary really want you to graduate with both your hands".
• Alaric proving he's not Silas by revealing their secret liquor stash in a locker.
• In the season five premiere, Jeremy walking in on Damon and Elena.
• In "For Whom The Bell Tolls", Damon is trying to help an amnesiac Stefan regain his memories. Stefan comes to the conclusion that he is the "fun brother" while Damon is the "safe brother". Damon then disabuses him of this notion by crashing the car with the both of them in it.
• A lot of True Lies
  • This conversation between Silas and Damon.
  Silas: I don't see why she likes you.
  Damon: Because you haven't had sex with me.
  • After Damon and Elena's heartfelt talk, Caroline walks back into their dorm room...and sees Damon shirtless, both him and Elena tied to different chairs with a firepoker wedged deep into Elena's thigh. Her reaction?
  Caroline: We are definitely setting some ground rules the next time we have boyfriends over.
  • Katherine realizing with disgust that after the moonstone, the white oak stake, and the cure for vampirism, she is the McGuffin for season 5.
  I've done this a thousand times, I get it. I'm the leverage, I'm that thing that everybody wants...I'm the friggin' moonstone!
• Qestiyah surprisingly has a few. Notably her wanting to call herself Tessa.
  Qetsiyah: Qetsiyah sounds a little ancient, doesn't it ?
  • Turns into a Brick Joke when Damon has trouble pronouncing her name.
  Qetsiyah: See what I mean ?
• Enzo throwing a fit when people keep interrupting his story.
• Vicki showing up and saying that she does not approve of Matt and Rebekah.
• Katherine posing as Elena, especially when the situation gets serious and she puts on a very affected Damsel in Distress act.
  • After Enzo suffocates Jeremy, Katherine actually looks disgusted at having to give Jeremy CPR!
• Just before Matt and Jeremy are about to blow up the Travelers inside Mystic Grill, Matt has this beautiful quip.
  Matt: Can we talk about the irony of blowing up the only place dumb enough to hire us?
• In "Black Hole Sun", Stefan shows Elena how to move on and it leads to the two of them improvising a lavish proposal and the most over-the-top love story ever.
• Tyler's way of paying Liv back for killing someone to prevent his werewolf curse from reactivating is to help her cater a party, which he is very bad at.
• Anytime Damon and Bonnie have a scene together, especially in season 6, as they are trapped in a 1994 prison. All they do is bicker like an old married couple or have rare sweet moments that seem to hint at a budding friendship.
• In season 7 Caroline ends up being pregnant with Alaric's babies through a magical transplant.
  • There are several reasons this fact is funny:
    • Stefan's insitence that the babies are not hers whenever someone brings it up.
    • And this particualr scene from season 7 episode 12:
    (Upon facing trouble with caroline's pregnancy delivery)
    Nurse(knowing he's not the father):Would you like for me to contact her boyfriend?
    Stefan: I'm her boyfriend. um (Nurse gives him a wierd look.) Yeah, he in, no The father's in Dallas for a job interview. I'll..I'll call him.
• Season 7 episode 15 has Damon looking after Bonnie in a hospital after she blacks out. When she wakes up Damon receives her with coffee and calling her Bonnieka Magica. She doesn't like the nickname, which implies she has seen the show as well.
• Meta: This comic-con 2014 sketch which has Kat Graham and Ian Somerhalder wondering if their characters have been killed off as well as the reaction of other cast members. Highlights include Paul Wesley asking if Ian being killed off means he gets more money, Candice Accola's grudge against Kat for eating her sandwich and Nina Dobrev planning to take over Ian's room.