The Simpsons Season 4 / Funny

Moments pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/funny_9.jpg

"Your lifelong dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game, and you did it last year, remember?"

60. - "Kamp Krusty"

The episode's Couch Gag. The family is stopped from sitting on the couch because The Flintstones are already seated there. Fred smiles at Homer and invites him to sit by his side.
At the start of the episode, Bart has a dream about Principal Skinner telling everyone to tear down the school to "School's Out" by Alice Cooper.
When school ends for real, a teacher stops the throngs of kids leaving;
Teacher: Wait a minute! You didn't learn how World War II ends! (kids look at him) ...We won!
Kids: YAY! USA! USA!
Lisa losing her mind briefly because Ms. Hoover gave her a B+ in conduct just for the hell of it.
Lisa: [shakily] Oh, Ms. Hoover! There appears to be a mistake on my report card. You gave me a B+ in conduct?!
Ms. Hoover: Now, Lisa, everyone needs a blotch on their permanent record.
Lisa: [pinning Ms. Hoover's arm down] Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. I think you should reconsider.
Ms. Hoover: Lisa...you're hurting me!
Bart and Lisa talk to Homer and Marge before leaving on the bus for camp.
Bart: Don't look in my closet. In fact, stay out of my room altogether.
Lisa: (yelling from the bus) If the pets die, don't replace them, I'll know!
Lisa: (writing a letter to home) I no longer fear hell, for I have been to Kamp Krusty.
The tyrannical Mr. Black dines with Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney.
Mr. Black: (toasting) Gentlemen, to evil!
The "Kamp Krusty" theme montage features a frog leaping from Lisa's bowl of gruel, Bart falling into a ditch while trying to catch a pop fly, and a random kid at the camp infirmary getting cigarette smoke blown in his face by the nurse (who just used his cast to light the match).
Bart and Lisa are not enjoying Kamp Krusty at all.
Lisa: I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart.
Bart: We're all gonna die, Lis.
Lisa: I meant soon!
Bart: (sadly) So did I.
This bit, at the weight loss part of camp:
Drill sergeant instructor: All right, you balls of pan-drippings! I wanna see Crisco coming out of those pores! (walks up to Martin) We're not leaving... until this Christmas HAM!... gives me a pull-up.
Homer and Marge hear of the hostile takeover of Kamp Krusty on the news. When they see Bart has become the ringleader, Homer (who had spent the entire summer completely stress-free and had gotten into notably better shape) yells out, "D'OH!", and immediately, his newly grown hair falls from his head, and his gut expands to his pre-summer shape.
- Kent Brockman's report on the situation: "Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together."
After Mr. Black tries to pass off Barney as Krusty, Bart starts the revolution. "I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins. My Krusty Kalculator didn't have a 7 or an 8. And Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far!"
Krusty reacts to Bart's grievances.
Bart: Krusty, this camp was a nightmare! They fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!
Krusty: Oh my God! (breaks down sobbing)
Bart: ...actually, the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: (collected) Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: Oh my God! (breaks down sobbing again)
To make it up to the kids, Krusty takes the entire camp to the Happiest Place On Earth - Tijuana, Mexico! Cue credit sequence with photos of the campers having fun in Mexico with Sinatra's "South of the Border" playing. The last photo is of the bus leaving Tijuana to head back home, with Krusty chasing after it after having been accidentally left behind.

61. - "A Streetcar Named Marge"

When Marge and Ned rehearse the scene where Blanche breaks a bottle to defend herself from Stanley, Marge goes crazy and knocks Ned over after being fueled by Homer being a boorish jerk to her.
Llewellyn: Ned, you're supposed to overpower her.
Ned: I'm trying, I'm trying!
Jon Lovitz's entire performance as Llewelyn Sinclair, but especially his powerhouse introduction:
Sinclair: I should warn you, I am not an easy man to work for. When directing "HATS OFF TO HANUKKAH", I reduced more than one cast-member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth graders? The review -'Play Enjoyed By ALL'-speaks for itself!
- Following his introduction, there's Marge's reaction.
  Marge: (hrrms) Maybe I should've taken that Japanese calligraphy class...
  Chief Wiggum: Oh, forget it. That Mr. Takahashi's a lunatic.
  Sinclair: Quiet!
The Ayn Rand School for Tots, operated by Sinclair's sister, also voiced by Lovitz.
Ms. Sinclair: Mrs. Simpson, do you know what a baby is saying when she reaches for a bottle?
Marge: "Ba-ba?"
Ms. Sinclair: She's saying "I am a leech!" Our aim here is to develop the bottle within.
Marge: I don't know. This seems awfully strict.
Ms. Sinclair: Mrs. Simpson, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but we're the only daycare center in town that is not presently under investigation by the state.
The entire The Great Escape re-eneactment by the babies.
The play's closing song, "You Can Always Depend on the Kindness of Strangers" (the exact opposite of the message of the actual play).
Homer getting childish about his pudding.
Homer: (as Marge prepares to go over to Flanders' house to practice for the play) But Marge, what about pudding?
Marge: For gosh sake, Homer, you can take the can off your own pudding!
(Homer tries to do so, and only manages to take the tab off)
Homer: (screams in horror) Oh no, my pudding is trapped forever! So I can open my own pudding, can I? Shows what you know, Marge!
“My name is Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. I play Steve.”
While preparing for the play, Marge starts talking with a southern accent to stay in character. Lisa joins in to help, and then Bart starts talking with a Cockney accent.
Lisa: Daddy, would y'all mind passing a little biscuit?
Bart: Can I slog off school tomorrow? I got a pain in me gulliver.
Homer: I'm living in a cuckoo clock!

62. - "Homer the Heretic"

The chalkboard gag, in reference to the previous episode: "I will not defame New Orleans."
While skipping church, Homer pours pancake batter, caramels and liquid smoke into a waffle iron, wraps it around a stick of butter, and eats it like a burrito.
Homer: Mmmm, fattening...
TV Announcer: We interrupt this public affairs program to bring you... a football game.
The Flanders family tries to convince Homer to return to church. They practically stalk him while singing "God Said To Noah," which turns into an action-movie-style car chase that ends with Homer on a garbage barge.
When Homer wakes up in the middle of a fire, he tries to remember a song about what to do:
Homer: "When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn. Something, something, then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe..." (Beat) D'oh!
Ned drags Homer's unconscious body upstairs away from the flames and tosses him out the window onto a perfectly positioned mattress below with a quick prayer ("Dear Lord, may your loving hand guide Homer to the mattress square and true."). Unfortunately for them both, Homer does hit the mattress, but bounces off and back into the house.
Ned: (wearily) ...Okay.
- The little whimper Homer makes as he bounces is also hilarious.
The dream sequence where Homer talks with God. It ends with God saying goodbye as he has to appear "in a tortilla in Mexico". Homer waves goodbye with a big smile.... cut to the real world, where Homer is still sleeping, but smiling and waving (with some drooling thrown in for good measure), while a now fully awake Marge just stares at him with eyes that simply scream "What the actual fuck?"
The Flanders' house briefly catching fire (with Homer pointing out that Ned Flanders is a regular Joe Church and God is letting his house burn), only for a mini rain storm to put out the flames then disappear afterwards, followed by a rainbow.
Ned tells Homer that he saved him from the house fire because Homer would have done the same for him. Homer then imagines himself lazily lying in a hammock and laughing at Ned as he yells for help from his flaming house.
Kent Brockman's report on the fire:
Brockman: Fire: Man's oldest foe. Insatiable, remorseless, unquenchable.
Wiggum: Hey, it's out!
Brockman: Coming up next, which work better: Springy clothespins or the other kind?
On the way to the Simpson's house, the volunteer fire department are stalled by ducks crossing a road. Dozens of them. Apu's reaction sells it.
Apu: You ducks are really trying my patience! ... but you're so cute.
After the church doors are revealed to be frozen shut, Lisa starts saying the Lord's Prayer. Bart interrupts: "Lisa, this is neither the time nor the place."
Homer's debate with Reverend Lovejoy:
Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house on sand."
Homer: And you remember... Matthew... 21:17.
Lovejoy: "And he left them and went out of the city into Bethany, and he lodged there"?
Homer: ...Yeah. Think about it.
After Marge warns Homer that she may have to tell the children that he's "wicked", Homer replies"
Homer: Kids, let me tell you about another so-called "wicked" guy. He had long hair, and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...I forget. But the point is...I forget that too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car.
Apu leaving the Kwik-E-Mart in his nephew's hands.
Apu: A fire at the old Simpsons place! (turns to the bullies) You are on your honor not to steal anything!
Kearney: (as he's eating cereal right out of the box) Oh, we won't.
(Apu pauses with consideration, then reaches beneath the counter, bringing his nephew up and placing him on the counter.)
Apu: Little Jamshed, the store is in your hands. (he leaves)
Jamshed: Oh, how I have waited for this day.
(Jamshed immediately pulls a shotgun out of nowhere and aims it at the bullies.)
Marge: Homer, please don't make me choose between my man and my God, because you just can't win.
Homer: There you go again, always taking someone else's side. Flanders, the water department, God...

63. - "Lisa the Beauty Queen"

Also a Moment of Awesome. Skinner beating up a lawyer and two hired goons after being threatened with a lawsuit over the use of "The Happiest Place on Earth". "Copyright expired."
When Lisa is handed the title of Beauty Queen, Krusty decides to be funny and plays keepaway with the charred scepter. On the third time, the sky opens up with a thunderclap, striking Krusty, who, in immense pain, quietly sums it up with:
Krusty (flatly): I deserved that.
At the school carnival, Groundskeeper Willie trying to sell haggis from his stand (which looks like it's nowhere near the school carnival). "Chopped heart and lungs, boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds! Good for what ails ya"
Otto cranks up the speed on a Rocket Spinner ride; the car flies off and crashes into the school. Otto then tells Bart that he's going to Mexico until this blows over and is chased by an angry mob.
Milhouse goes into "Jimbo's Spookhouse", a shoddily-built haunted house that turns out to be a shed with the three bullies (Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney) standing under a bare light bulb, getting ready to beat Milhouse up. When Milhouse steps out, Bart asks him if it was scary. When told it was, Bart steps in. "Uh oh."
Homer trying to cheer Lisa up after her caricature.
Homer: Oh, Lisa, this isn't real. It's just how you might look if you were a cartoon character.
Lisa: I'm an ug-mo!
Homer: Now that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Fathers have to say that stuff.
(Abe walks past the doorway)
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Abe: No! You're homely as a mule's butt!
Homer: There, see?
Lisa is crowned "Little Miss Springfield" (after the actual winner gets struck by lightning). A new wax figure is created in the Springfield Wax Museum. The problem is the curators just stuck Lisa's head on a wax statue of Dr. Ruth. The funny part is that Dr. Ruth's head now resides in the Chamber of Horrors next to Mr. T and Ronald Reagan.
Lisa claims that college football diverts necessary resources from education and the arts, which causes four stereotypical nerds to chase a football team off of the field. The nerds then get beaten up offscreen, according to a newspaper headline.
- Earlier, the football players ran away from the approaching nerds.
Kent Brockman announces that Lisa was stripped of her title and the show cuts to... a shot of a goat being fed from a bottle. The same thing happens a minute later when he announces his interview with Pope John Paul II, causing him to storm out.
How does Lisa lose her title? Homer filled in the pageant form incorrectly. Under "Do not write in this space", he wrote, "Okay."

64. - "Treehouse of Horror III"^note

Homer introducing the episode in a parody of Alfred Hitchcock Presents.
The beginning of the episode. Homer comes down the stairs dressed in a toga.
Homer: Behold, mighty Caesar, in all his glory! (the sheet gets caught on a loose nail, pulling the toga apart and leaving Homer in his underwear, everyone laughs at him) D'oh!
During the framing story, Homer's attempt at a scary story.
Homer: ...And his wife comes through the door!
Bart: (bored) So?
Homer: Did I mention that she was dead?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Well, she was. Aaaand she hit him in the head with a golf-club!
Bart: And?
Homer: Don't you remember? He went golfing all the time and it really bugged her.
Lisa: You said he went bowling!
Homer: (annoyed grunt)
- Abe's retort:
  Abe: I've coughed up scarier stuff than that!
  Bart: Grampa, why don't you tell us a story? You've led an interesting life.
  Abe: That's a lie, and you know it!
This dialogue:
Bart: I have a story so scary you'll wet your pants.
Abe: Too late.
[Everyone moves away from him. Lisa's friend Janey backs away from the couch he's sitting.]

A. - Clown Without Pity

Homer is buying the cursed doll:
Shop Keeper: Take this object. But beware, it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shop Keeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shop Keeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shop Keeper: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: That's good!
Shop Keeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. (Homer stares blankly) That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?
The Krusty doll advances on Homer, laughing evilly but then stops and sees his pull cord has run out. He motions for Homer to pull it back out. Homer does, and the doll finishes laughing.
Homer's take on the Oscar Mayer jingle while singing in the bath.
"My bologna has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R. My bologna has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R."
Homer tells Marge about the Krusty doll attacking him.
Homer: Marge! The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!
The Krusty doll attempts to kill Homer while he's in the tub and Homer runs naked and screaming through the kitchen, where his wife and his sisters-in-law are having lunch.
Patty: There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.
- This particular moment becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when the Season 16 episode "There's Something About Marrying" revealed that Patty was a lesbian.
Homer trying to subdue the Krusty doll with some of his old socks. It works, despite Krusty taunting him for it.
Homer throws the box containing the doll into a bottomless pit, followed by two other people disposing of... inconveniences:
Homer: [throws box into pit] Goodbye dolly! [leaves]
[a man in a stereotypical mobster suit and hat shows up with a human-sized bag and throws it into the pit]
Mobster: Arrivederci, Vito! [leaves]
[a third man walks up with a cardboard box full of photographs]
Man: I was a fool to think anyone would want nude photos of Whoopi Goldberg. [drops the box into the pit and dusts off his hands] What the...!? [the box flies back out of the pit and into his hands]
The revelation that the Krusty doll is evil because of a switch on its back and not because of a horrible curse. "Yep, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to 'Evil'".
The Krusty doll becomes Homer's slave.

B. - King Homer

The line when Burns asks Smithers his opinion on bringing Marge along.
Mr. Burns: What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.
Mr. Burns: We know what you think.
This exchange between the crew:
Carl: Hey, I heard we're going to Ape island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes. But they're not so big.
When Marge asks if she's going ashore with them, Burns replies, "Of courrse, we wouldn't think of going without the bait! Uh, that is... the bait-thing beauty... the... bathing beauty! I covered that up pretty well!"
When the rest of Mr. Burns' team shows up to capture King Homer after he has picked up - and been captivated by - Marge, he roars threateningly at them... and then stops mid-roar as he notices he is still holding Marge. He sets her down in a nearby tree and goes back to roaring at Mr. Burns' team.
King Homer's first victim is Lenny:
Lenny: [as King Homer puts him in his mouth, he fights his way back out] Hey, Homer, cut it out! C'mon, quit eating me!
[Carl opens fire from the ground, but hits Lenny in the upper arm]
Lenny: Ow! [sarcastically] Nice shot, Carl! [King Homer pushes him back into his mouth and starts chewing...] NO! NO!... [... and finally swallows him, letting off one of his signature belches]
Mr. Burns tries lobbing a gas bomb toward King Homer, but, true to form, he only succeeds in throwing it a couple of feet, so that he gets gassed. He proceeds to sing and dance to the tune of "The Fountain in the Park":
Mr. Burns: I was strolling through the gas one day...
Smithers has better luck with his gas bomb; King Homer even takes a moment to wave his hand over his mouth and yawn before curling up to sleep:
Mr. Burns: Excellent work, Smithers! When we get back, I'm giving you a raise! (King Homer eats Smithers in his sleep) ...Oh, well.
All of Barney's lines, but especially his response to the unveiling of King Homer: "Wow! Look at the size of that platform!"
Barney: Hey, monkey, y'want a peanut?
[King Homer grabs the entire offered bag and swallows it in one bite]
Barney: I SAID ONE! [starts kicking King Homer's foot; King Homer just ignores him and walks off through the wall of the theatre]
King Homer eats Shirley Temple during her performance of "On the Good Ship Lollipop" - but not before nodding along to the song for a few seconds.
King Homer has broken free and starts a rampage.
Mr. Burns: I'm dreading the reviews, I can tell you that.
Marge: (sees Homer outside) Oh hi, Homie!
King Homer tries to climb the Empire State Building. He is tired and looks up, seeing many floors to go. He eventually gets tired and collapses, revealing he'd only climbed three storeys (he's four storeys tall).
Marge: Maybe you'd have an easier time climbing if you ate more vegetables and less people?
After King Homer fall from the building.
Marge: He's not dead!
Mr. Burns: No, but his career is. I remember when Al Jolson ran amok at the Winter Garden and climbed the Chrysler building. After that, he couldn't get arrested in this town.

C. - Dial 'Z' for Zombies

The segment opens with Bart presenting a book report on an alphabet themed pop-up book, which he admits to reading "most of". Mrs Krabappel orders him to read another book. He's later seen looking at a rather lazy Where's Waldo? book, in which Waldo is standing in the foreground of a mostly empty beach. "Man, he's just not trying anymore."
Bart wanders into the Occult Section of the library ("Gee... never noticed that before!") and a "Book of Magick and Spelles" hovers out of the shelf behind him and smacks him in the back of the head. He opens it and is confronted with wailing spirits...
Spirits: Evil... / Evil... / Bad... / Beware... / BEWARE!...
Bart: Cool! [slams the book shut]
Spirits: Ow! / Ow! / Ow! / Ow!
The gravestones in the Pet Cemetery include a Take That! trifecta to three animated series that tried to ride The Simpsons' coattails but faceplanted so disastrously that they were all cancelled or stuck in Development Hell by the time this episode aired: Fish Police, Capitol Critters, and Family Dog.
The incantations Bart recites include four game show hosts ("Cullen, Rayburn, Narz, Trebek!"), four discount department stores ("Zabar, Kresge, Caldor, Wal-Mart!"^note), four 1970s TV detectives ("Kolchak, Mannix, Banacek, Danno!"), and four brands of condom ("Trojan, Ramses, Magnum, Sheik!").
When Bart accidentally summons human zombies instead of Snowball I, we cut to Groundskeeper Willie, tending to the ornamental beds around Springfield Elementary.
Willie: [patting down the dirt with a spade] There. Pretty as a picture! [two zombies burst from the ground] ACH! ZOMBIES! [the zombies walk off; Willie shoots a Death Glare at their departing backs, then pats down the dirt again] There. Pretty as a picture!
The zombies have risen from the grave so Bart and Lisa urgently tell Homer who is watching TV.
Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes!
Homer: But the car's OK?
Bart & Lisa: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right, then. (resumes watching TV)
Krusty is attacked by a zombified Sideshow Mel. This is followed by a We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties sign.
Zombie Krusty: To enter, send me your parents' brains, or write "Parents' Brains" on a 3x5 card and send it to...
When zombies break into the Simpson house (Homer having not bothered to barricade the door), Homer attempts a Heroic Sacrifice, only for this to happen: the zombies go over to Homer saying "Brains!" in Simpleton Voices. Then they look inside his ears and tap his head, only to find that it sounds rather hollow. They then angrily shout "BRAINS!" and move away from him. The icing on the cake is how hurt and offended Homer looks afterward.
Homer twirls a lever-action shotgun and simultaneously cocks it, shouting "TO THE BOOK DEPOSITORY!" upon learning the family has to head for the school library. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome just for being so badass.
Ned Flanders obliviously lets the zombies into his house and is promptly zombified. As the Simpsons head to the library to find a way to reverse the spell, he walks up to Homer and asks to nibble his ear. Homer blasts him with a shotgun, leading to this moment, which is said to be Matt Groening's favorite line:
Bart: Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
As Bart searches for a way to reverse the spell, he accidentally turns Lisa into a giant snail - and somehow keeps her from noticing. The icing on the cake is when she cranes her eye stalks to read the book over his shoulder as he casts the next spell (which reverses her transformation as well as banishing the zombies).
Bart: [reading] Kojak, Mannix, Banacek, Danno! [Lisa's body contorts until she turns into a snail as tall as she usually is as a human; Bart gasps]
Lisa: What's wrong?
Bart: Uh... I... never realised what a beautiful young woman you've become! [Lisa smiles modestly]
The Simpsons may not be members of the living dead, but the final scene reveals them to be zombies of another sort...
[the whole family are sitting on the sofa; Homer has a bowl of popcorn, Bart and Lisa have soft drinks, and Marge is feeding Maggie from a bottle]
Marge: Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies!
Bart: Shhh. TV.
[from the TV, we hear a thud, followed by a Laugh Track]
Homer: Man... fall down. Funny.
Marge, Bart, Lisa: Mmm.

65. - "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"

Marge has an Imagine Spot of Bart as a fat, sleazy male stripper who gets booed at by his "adoring" female fans and lies moaning under the garish disco lights after someone hurls a bottle at his head.
Marge: My poor baby!
Bart playing with Grampa's dentures, especially when he uses them to bite onto one of the blades of an active ceiling fan and slips off while the Sabre Dance plays in the background.
Bart trying to pretend that he is reading a book:
Bart: Hi Mom, hi Dad! Home already? Boy, time really files when you're reading... (realizes that he is holding the book upside-down, takes a look at the cover) THE BIBLE!?! (puts the Bible down like he is holding something toxic) Ewwww...
Homer tells Abe that if he doesn't start making sense they're going to put him in a home. Abe points out that they already did that, and Homer threatens to put him in the "crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes", and Abe replies, "I'll be good." (Note that some episodes do depict the Springfield Retirement Castle as a crooked assisted living home like the ones Homer saw on "60 Minutes", and indeed this same scene has Homer bring up Abe's "stories" about the nurses stealing his money and "the thing" on his neck getting bigger.)
Homer attempts to punish Bart for breaking Abe's dentures.
Homer: Young man, since you broke Grampa's teeth, he gets to break yours.
Abe: (looking menacingly at Bart) Oh, this is going to be sweet!
Marge: No, no, no!
Abe: Awww...
Abe tries to get his friend Jasper's teeth out of the glass (in the aftermath of Bart breaking Grampa's teeth) while he sleeps. Jasper wakes up and draws a gun on him.
Jasper: Well, well, if it isn't the Tooth Fairy.
Bart smashing mustard packets with a hammer while singing Jingle Bells.
Homer: Bart! Why are you doing that?
Bart: I don't know.
Homer's advice to Bart about how to get out of jury duty: "The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."
A possible explanation to Homer's intelligence:
Homer: You know, when I was your age I wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me, so I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what is the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories.
There is a Cutaway Gag of Al Capone dancing the Charleston on top of a flagpole. He falls off.
Chief Wiggum's reaction to Maggie driving past him. "Aw, how cute, a baby driving a car. And look, there's a dog driving a bus."
Marge: We'll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what the teachers say, if you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh, let's see... poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh no, I'm not making two stops!
Homer's completely indifferent reaction to Bart tearing up the carpet. He simply sits on the couch drinking a beer. His expression◊ especially sells it.
Marge: Why are you letting him do this?!
Homer: I dunno.

66. - "Marge Gets a Job"

Homer dismisses Surly Joe, with "You're not the only foundation guy in town." As it happens, he is, and has a Yellow Pages ad stating as much.
When Marge suggests going for a job at the power plant to pay for the foundation repairs, Homer tells her it's not that big a problem. A moment later it sinks again, causing Bart to slide out his bedroom window.
Bart sets up the sinking house as a sideshow called The Slanty Shanty. He introduces Homer as "Cue Ball: The Man With No Hair."
Lionel Hutz freaks out and runs after seeing Mr. Burns' squad of ten high-priced, professional lawyers. Then Homer opens Lionel's briefcase he forgot to take with him.
Homer: Hey, he left his briefcase behind. [opens it] It's full of shredded newspapers.
When Mr. Burns starts doting on Marge, he puts Smithers "where the action is": The men's room. And yet Smithers enjoys it... until:
Smithers: (scrubbing down a urinal with a toothbrush) Spring-time fresh, clear white. What could be better?
(Homer bursts in, visibly straining)
Homer: (as he unzips his pants) Aww, man, I really gotta—
(cut to outside the washroom)
Smithers: NOOOOOOOO!
One of the darkest moments of Black Comedy, when Marge first sees conditions at the plant: One man sobbing, a woman drinking with a Thousand-Yard Stare, and another man polishing a shotgun, declaring himself "the angel of death". After Marge suggests giving them Tom Jones music and funny hats, we see the same three employees again... utterly unchanged except for wearing funny hats.
Homer tells Marge that if something goes wrong, she can blame Tibor, the guy who can't speak English. A few scenes later, we learn that Tibor has somehow been promoted past Homer at some point.
Homer declares that he doesn't want to sleep next to someone who thinks he's lazy. He then starts saying that he's going to go downstairs and set up the sofa - only to give up mid-rant and get back in bed.
Lisa embellishes Marge's resume with various jobs related to her taking care of Homer:
Marge: "Chauffeur, seamstress, curator of large mammals"?
(Homer enters, in nothing but his underwear)
Homer: Marge, have you seen my lunchbox?
(Marge gives him his lunchbox and Homer leaves)
Marge: Oh.
Lisa: Mom, they expect you to lie a little.
Marge: "Worked for the Carter Administration"?!
Lisa: Well, you voted for him. Twice!
Marge: Lisa, shhh... someone might be listening.
- We later see this backfire, as Smithers later sets Marge up with a machine her resume claims she invented.
Burns tells Smithers that he dreamed about Marge last night. "You know that dream where you're in bed and they fly in through the window?" Smithers recalls having that exact dream, with Burns.
The ludicrous scene with Bart and the wolf, beginning with his answer to an English exam ("Ivanhoe is the story of a Russian farmer and his tool") that's interrupted when he lowers his paper to see the wolf snarling inches from his face.
- Mrs. Krabappel's callous responses to his cries of "Wolf!" as she assumes he's just making a really uncreative attempt to get out of taking the test. Even after it shoves its paw through the window.
  Bart: Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!
  Mrs Krabappel: (not looking in his direction) Sorry, no sale.
  (the wolf growls and smashes the door's window)
  Mrs. Krabappel: (sing-song) You're wasting valuable test-time...
- A badly-savaged Bart handing in his test, "admitting" there was no wolf, and then collapsing.
  Bart: I'm gonna just lie on the floor now. Please don't let me swallow my tongue. (he collapses)
  Mrs. Krabappel: There, doesn't it feel better to tell the truth? (he doesn't respond; she pokes him with a pointer) ... Ohhh, dear.
- While taking Bart home, Abe tells him "We're going to rub some garlic on you before the next full moon." As if Bart was attacked by a werewolf (with some vampire mixed in?) rather than a regular wolf like it actually was.
- Willie comforting the wolf by sharing whisky with it after he's wrestled it into submission, and its humiliated expression as it drinks from his hand, is equal parts hilarious and awesome.

67. - "New Kid on the Block"

Mrs Winfield asking Homer for a little help selling her house, namely that he stop standing in his window not wearing pants, that he get rid of his rotting jack-o-lanterns from past Halloweens, and that he cover up his trash cans, which are attracting local wildlife, such as a moose. He refuses all three.
As Bart is sneaking around in the Powers' basement, he meets Laura right after fainting.
Bart's Brain: She's beautiful. Say something clever.
Bart: I fell on my bottom.
Bart's Brain: D'oh!
Laura mind-screws Dolph and Kearney by implying that they're gay.
Kearney: Hey, baby, how 'bout puttin' your finger in my ear?
Laura: Well, I don't know. Your boyfriend looks like the jealous type.
Kearney: Hey, what the...?!
Dolph: That chick's messin' with our minds!
Kearney: Let's get outta here!
Homer orders a pizza during his trial against not getting his fill at The Frying Dutchman's "All You Can Eat Buffet."
Homer and Captain McAllister reach a deal which involves Homer being put to work as a sideshow freak (Bottomless Pete: The Man Who Can't Stop Eating, a.k.a. Nature's Cruelest Mistake) for the Frying Dutchman. As Homer is busy eating, people are watching through the window and a random man says "I heard they shaved a gorilla."
Homer managing to make real estate difficult in his own way.
(a realtor is showing a young couple around the Winfield House)
Woman: Now, I don't know much about haggling or bargaining, so why don't we just agree to pay whatever the Winfields want?
Realtor: Yeah, it could work.
(Homer belches from somewhere off-screen)
Man: What was that?
(the couple walk off to investigate)
Realtor: Sigh!
(we see Homer sitting outside in a kiddie pool, in his underwear, as he fishes a hotdog out of the water.)
Homer: There you are! Thought you could get away, huh?
(Homer then eats the hotdog, as the couple watch in disgust)
Woman: Goodbye!
(the couple storm off, while the realtor glares at Homer)
Ruth tells Marge that she had doubts about moving to Springfield, after a TIME Magazine cover that declared it "America's Worst City". "You could see our house in that photo!"
Bart's prank-call to Moe:
Moe: Hey, just a sec; I'll check. Uh, Amanda Hugginkiss! Hey, I'm lookin' for Amanda Hugginkiss! Oh, why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?!
(the bar patrons laugh)
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high!
Moe: (to phone) You little SOB! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
Bart: My name is Jimbo Jones and I live at 1094 Evergreen Terrace.
Moe: Aha! Big mistake, pal! Hohoo, I knew he'd slip up sooner or later! (draws knife) Ah, yes. Rusty and dull.
- As he leaves, Moe tells Barney not to steal any beer while he's gone.
  Barney: What kinda pathetic drunk do you take me for? (he sees something and gasps) Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray! (Barney immediately starts drinking from the ashtray)
- And a few minutes later, the scene cuts away to Barney drinking straight from the tap.
  Barney: Uh-oh, my heart just stopped! (Beat) Ah, there it goes. (Barney resumes drinking)
- Moe runs to the Simpson house to find Jimbo, laughing madly while brandishing his knife. After he leaves, he returns to his bar, still laughing and holding his knife, even when he had no further plans to use the knife. The two shots of Moe running are even the same, only mirrored.
Lionel Hutz telling Homer he has the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since his suit against The Neverending Story.
Homer's attempt to give Bart The Talk.
Homer: Son, a woman is a lot like, um... a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds, they make... ice... Oh! Wait a minute! Actually a woman is more like a beer. They smell good. They look good. You would step over your own mother just to get one. (finishes the can he's holding.) But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another woman. (gets out another beer out of the fridge; cut to several beers later) So I sez, "Yeah? You want that money, come and find it, cuz I don't know where it is, ya baloney! You make me wanna retch!" (passes out)
The flashback of how Homer learned about sex after asking why Bart can't learn about it the way he did.
Homer: Zookeeper! Zookeeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other!
Zookeeper: (whispers to Homer) They're having sex.
Homer: Oh!

Commentary

Conan O'Brien, who wrote "New Kid on the Block", noted how odd it was that Laura rejected Jimbo for not being the man she thought he was, despite that he was just threatened at knifepoint by Moe.

68. - "Mr. Plow"

On a TV special, Krusty tries to tame three tigers without training. He immediately gets attacked. Bart's commentary makes it better.
Bart: (indifferent) Eh, they'll be chewing on him for a while
Homer doesn't want to tell the Insurance Officer what Moe's Tavern really is.
Insurance Officer: Now before I give you the check, one more question. Uh, this place, Moe's, you left just before the accident, this is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar. *gasp* But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: Heh, heh. I would've never thought of that.
Homer hitchhikes on a produce truck driven by a farmer and his pig. The farmer says the pig must sit in the front with him, since he "can't trust a pig with watermelons, you know". Then we pan over to Homer eating said watermelon.
Homer checks out a cross between a Reliant Robin and a Trabant at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles.
Homer: [shifting gears] What country is this car from?
Crazy Vaclav: It no longer exists, but take her for a spin and you'll agree, "Zagreb evnan zlotnik diev!"
[Homer fails to start the car]
Crazy Vaclav: Put it in "H"!
The wind blows off Barney's diaper (leaving him naked), and he runs after it. The he runs into his mother.
A very darkly funny one when Lisa visits the "Fourth Reich Motors (since 1946)" exhibit:
Exhibit attendant: (with a German accent) Our tireless safety engineers crash-test over 1000 cars a year.
(Lisa watches test footage of a family of crash test dummies colliding with a wall; at the end, one of the child dummies falls out of the car, and starts meekly crawling away from the crash site)
Lisa: Hey, wait! That's not a dummy!
Exhibit attendant: (quickly) This exhibit is closed!
Every moment with Adam West, in particular his ranting about the Tim Burton movies.
Adam West: I didn't need molded plastic to improve my physique. (taps chest) Pure West. And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore? Remember the Batusi? (he begins dancing and grunting rhythmically while a disturbed Homer, Bart, and Lisa back away slowly)
Homer's attempt to advertise at church.
Homer: Dear lord, in your infinite wisdom, you know the number to call when you need a plow is Klondike 5-3226.
Lovejoy: Homer, this is really low.
Homer: Not as low as my low, low prices!
Homer's line as the commercial begins. "It may be on a lousy channel, but the Simpsons are on TV!"
- During Homer's commercial, Bart asks Homer if his service is legal.
  Homer: (smiling) My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage!
  Bart: You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you Mr. Plow?
  Homer: (stops smiling, talks out of the corner of his mouth) Shut up, boy.
  (Homer growls angrily at Bart as they watch the commercial on TV)
  Homer: So remember, (cue jingle) "Call Mr. Plow. That's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow."
- And after it's finished:
  Homer: John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play The Waiting Game. (Beat) Eh, The Waiting Game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!
Homer talks to a female customer about shoving snow off her driveway.
Woman: Could you make sure not to scrape my asphalt?
Homer: (muttering) Kiss my asphalt...
(cut to Homer telling the story at home)
Homer: So I said, "Kiss my asphalt!"
The $10,000 bill. All the presidents are on it, and they're having a party, with Jimmy Carter passed out on the couch. (There actually is a $10,000 bill, but it was discontinued in the 1940s and had former U.S. Treasurer Salmon P. Chase on it.)
Homer reassures Marge his plow truck will be safe as he goes to rescue Barney.
Homer: Don't worry, this baby's as surefooted as a mountain goat. (cut to nearby mountain goat, which slips off a cliff repeatedly)
Homer has a hair-raising trip across a rickety wooden bridge, during which he sees a full, stable suspension bridge a short distance away that he could have used and says, "D'oh!".
Homer rescues Barney from the snowy mountain and apologizes for tricking him. They agree to be partners.
Homer: With two friends working together, not even God can stop us.
God: Oh no? (the snow instantly melts)

69. - "Lisa's First Word"

Homer tells baby Lisa that he opened a college fund for her at Lincoln Savings and Loan (which infamously shut down in the 1980s). This is followed by Homer dismissing Marge's fears that Bart will be jealous of his new baby sister with: "Yeah, well, Bart can kiss my hairy, yellow butt!"
Grampa Simpson reveals that he won his house during the 1950s quiz show scandal by ratting out everybody and getting away with it.
Infant Bart refuses to address Homer properly.
Bart: Homer!
Homer: Homer's what grown-ups call me. Call me Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Daddy!
Bart: Da-da-da... Domer! (chuckles)
Homer: Why you little—! (strangles Bart)
Bart flushing Homer's wallet (and later his keys) after Homer says that he's got his nose.
Baby Lisa does the same thing infant Bart did earlier, even after naming everything else correctly.
Marge: Can you say Mommy?
Lisa: Mommy.
Bart: (pointing to a TV Guide cover) Can you say David Hasselhoff?
Lisa: Davi' Hasse'hoff. (giggles)
Homer: Can you say Daddy?
Lisa: Homer.
Homer: No, sweetie. Daddy.
(Beat)
Lisa: Homer.
Homer: D'oh!
Krusty's massive moment of hubris. His 1984 Summer Olympics giveaway is rigged so that all the scratching cards are in favor of the events the communists excel at... and then the Soviet boycott occurs. Krusty stands to lose forty-four million dollars, and takes it hard.^note Based on the "When the US Wins, You Win" giveaway by McDonald's, which they had already tried successfully during the 1976 Summer Olympics. Unfortunately for them, the Soviet boycott resulted in the US nearly doubling its medal tally from eight years earlier (94 medals including 34 golds in Montreal, 174 medals including 83 golds in Los Angeles) - and as if that wasn't bad enough, customers redeeming scratch cards for free food then got new scratch cards, resulting in frequent food shortages. McDonald's have never admitted how much they lost on the promotion, but it is believed to be millions of dollars. And in contrast to Krusty, they (probably) didn't try to rig the contest by skewing the scratch cards toward events usually dominated by the Soviet bloc...
Krusty: You people are pigs! I personally am gonna spit in every fiftieth burger!
Homer: I like those odds.
- During the Krustyburger commercial, Krusty casually draws a switchblade to use on a scratch-off card.
While house hunting (in Springfield's scenic neighbourhood the Rat's Nest), one of the houses is right next to a rendering plant.
Realtor: Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.
Homer: Mmm, hog fat...
Marge: Let's keep looking.
(inside the plant, two workers are stirring fat. One stops and sniffs the air)
Worker: Ew, you smell somethin'?
(the other worker nods, as behind them Homer stares longingly at the fat.)
- Another house was recently the site of a murder. "Recently", as in the police are still investigating and victim's outline is on the floor when the Simpsons arrive;
Realtor: This one just came on the market.
(Marge turns and sees "I'LL BE BACK" scrawled in large red letters on the wall, which the realtor hastily steps in front of.)
"Can't sleep, clown'll eat me... can't sleep, clown'll eat me..."
Stuck in the Flanders' house, Bart gets homesick.
Bart: I want to go home.
(he looks across the street and sees the demon clown bed)
Bart: No, I don't.
Baby Bart's tremendous energy means he winds up swinging around on the washing line, as Homer and Marge stare in terror. Homer predicts Bart will eventually tire himself out. Fade to hours later, and he's still going.
Homer watching Olympic coverage has the courageous Kim Haung, who makes a perfect dismount onto what later turned out to be a broken leg. Which explains the several seconds of horrified screaming when he lands.

70. - "Homer's Triple Bypass"

The COPS opening features a suicidal man choosing to hurl himself off a building rather than come to Chief Wiggum, Chief Wiggum, Eddie, and Lou shooting at a mummy with Chief Wiggum throwing his gun, and these lyrics to the song.
♪Springfield's cops are on the take
But what do you expect with the money we make
Whether in a car or on a horse
We don't mind using excessive force♪
Wiggum's attempt to arrest a cattle-rustler (Snake), which sees him raid the wrong house, next door to one with a number of cattle outside.
Wiggum: Alright, boys, time to bag us a cattle rustler!
(a police tanks smashes the door down, Reverend Lovejoy appears in the house's doorway)
Lovejoy: What in God's name are you doing?!
Wiggum: Isn't this 742 Evergreen Terrace?
Lovejoy: No, that's next door!
(He points to the house next door, the front lawn of which is covered in cows. Snake drives out of the garage and sticks his head out of the window)
Snake: Close but no donut, cops!
Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of... uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect Is Hatless. Repeat, hatless.
(cut to Homer watching the show in bed)
Homer: I can't wait until they throw his hatless butt in jail!
A mechanic tries to warn Homer about his heart, then has a brief conversation with a boy named Billy.
Billy: Where's he going?
Mechanic: You remember that old Plymouth we just couldn't fix?
Billy: We're going to sell him to Mr. Nikopopolous?!
Mechanic: You're a dull boy, Billy.
A throwaway gag when Homer is in the ambulance, which has to stop at a deer crossing.
Driver: How do the deer always know to cross there?
- It's especially funny if you know that this kind of confusion may or may not have happened in real life.
Homer trying to get Hibbert to stop tickling him in his hospital bed. "Remember your Hippopotamus Oath."
Homer comes out of his second heart attack and tells Dr. Hibbert that he was in a "wonderful place filled with fire and brimstone, and there were all these guys in red pajamas sticking pitchforks in my butt."
Dr. Nick: Call 1-600-DOCTORB! The "B" is for Bargain!
After mentioning the operation, Homer is hesitant to tell the children, but they don't mind.
Bart: Nothing you say can upset us. We're the MTV generation.
Lisa: We feel neither highs nor lows.
Homer: Really? What's that like?
Lisa: (shrugs) Ehh.
- Homer then says that they deserve the truth, and he's not going to sugarcoat it. Cut to him explaining the surgery with hand and finger puppets, two of them based on Akbar and Jeff.
  Homer: Kids, kids, I'm not gonna die. That only happens to bad people.
  Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
  Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to schoolchildren.
  Marge: Homer!
This Dr. Nick bit:
P.A. System: Dr. Nick Riviera, paging Dr. Nick Riviera. Please report to the coroner's office immediately.
Dr. Nick: The coroner?! I'm so sick of that guy. [to Homer] Well, see you in the operating place. [Reporters are outside the door; One asks "Where are the bodies?"] It's such a nice day. I think I'll go out the window. [Jumps out the window]
Dr. Nick watches a video on how to perform a triple bypass, shortly before he has to perform that surgery on Homer: "Oh no, blood!"
- The operation video is interrupted by a talk show called People Who Look Like Things.
Dr. Nick: Oh, no, NO! Someone taped over the end of this! [cut to video]
Pumpkin-Head Guy: All we ask is to be treated with dignity and respect.
Host: And a new candle now and then?
Pumpkin-Head Guy: Yes, and a new can- NO!
Dr. Nick talks to the O.R. team before Homer's surgery.
Dr. Nick: Now remember, if something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved. You know what they say: "One hand washes the other." Oh, that reminds me... (washes hands)
As Homer is falling asleep from the anesthetic, Dr. Nick can't identify something.
Dr. Nick: What the hell is that?
A defining moment for Apu:
Apu: Poor Mister Homer. Could it be that my snack treats are responsible for his wretched health?
Customer: Gimme some jerky.
Apu: Would you like some vodka with that?
Customer: Oh, what the hell, sure!
As he does the surgery, Dr. Nick does an improvisational song to the well-known spiritual song called "Dem Bones".
Dr. Nick: "The kneebone's connected to the something; the something's connected to the red thing; the red thing's connected to my wristwatch" ...Uh-oh.
After Dr. Nick successfully operates on Homer, he encounters a former patient.
Mr. McGreg: Dr. Nick Riviera. Remember me?
Dr. Nick: Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGreg! With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!
As Homer is eating donuts at work, Mr. Burns watches:
Mr. Burns: Look at him, Smithers, stuffing his face on my time! (starts grinning maliciously) That's right, keep eating. Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poisoned donut! (Evil Laugh) There is a poisoned one, isn't there, Smithers?
Smithers: Uh, no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers, they consider it murder.
Mr. Burns: DAMN THEIR OILY HIDES! (he turns back to the cameras, to see Homer has fallen asleep in his chair) BRING HIM TO ME!
Homer stands nervously in Mr. Burns's office, a window on the screen shows his heart, beating fast.
Mr. Burns: Relax, Simpson. I just brought you in here for a friendly hello...
Homer: Whew. (heart slows down)
Mr. Burns: ...and goodbye! YOU'RE FIRED!
(Homer gags, heart speeds up)
Mr. Burns: But, wait. Perhaps I'm being too hasty. You are highly skilled...
Homer: Whew. (heart slows down)
Mr. Burns: ...AT GOOFING OFF!
Homer: Aaargh! (heart beats faster)
Mr. Burns: Now don't worry, Homer. You're the kind of guy I could really dig...
(Homer relaxes)
Mr. Burns: ...A GRAVE FOR!
Homer: Aaargh! (heart beats faster)
Mr. Burns: Your indolence is inefficacious!
Homer: Huh? (heart beats normally)
Mr. Burns: THAT MEANS YOU'RE TERRIBLE!
Homer: Aarrggghh! (heart goes crazy until he collapses)
Smithers: (checks Homer's pulse) Mr. Burns, I think he's dead. (Homer's spirit leaves his body)
Mr. Burns: Oh dear. Send a ham to his widow.
Homer's spirit: Mmm, ham... (returns to his body)
Smithers: No, wait, he's alive!
Mr. Burns: Oh, good. Cancel the ham!
Homer: D'oh!
During the segment where Homer's life flashes before his eyes, he remembers singing "O Holy Night" in church. Unfortunately, he hits puberty right in the middle of it and he continues off-key in his adult voice.
Dr. Hibbert and Marge are looking at Homer's body through an X ray with radioactive dye glowing from his body to show an accurate image of his circulatory system, only for the nurse to say she never even injected the dye at all. Homer works at a nuclear power plant.
Dr. Hibbert: (to Marge) Now what you see here is the radioactive dye we injected flowing through your husband's circulatory system.
Nurse: But Doctor, I haven't injected the dye yet!
Dr. Hibbert: Good lord!
Homer: Hi.
Homer is unable to think of anything to say to Bart and Lisa before the operation, so they help him out. Bart gets him to tell Lisa that she's adopted and he doesn't like her.

71. - "Marge vs. the Monorail"

Homer sings a parody of the Flintstones theme song on his way home from work.
Homer: ♪Simpson, Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history! / From the town of Springfield, He's about to hit a chestnut tree.♪ (screams)
- As the first official episode guide puts it, "And he's right."
- Very small moment: The factory whistle blown in the sequence makes a birdcall, as an inversion of the bird making the whistle noise in the Flintstones intro.
- Homer slides down a pipe to jump into his car in the same way Fred Flintstone slides down a dinosaur's tail to jump into his. However, since Homer drives a modern car and not a set of wheels with a canopy like Fred's, he breaks the passenger side window, and is completely unbothered by this.
Mr. Burns and Smithers haul away a barrel of nuclear waste that was sealed up by Lenny and Carl.
Smithers: Well sir, where shall we dump this batch? The playground?
Mr. Burns: No, all those bald children are arousing suspicion. (enthusiastically) To the park!
(the scene cuts to the city park at night; Mr. Burns and Smithers are heard straining and grunting as they stuff the barrel of nuclear waste into a tree)
Smithers: I think it's full, sir.
Mr. Burns: That's ridiculous! The last tree held nine drums.
- Cut to said tree, which has tentacles and a squirrel with laser eyes.
Marge notices that many Springfield citizens showed up for the City Hall meeting on how to spend Mr. Burns' fine of $3,000,000. Then there's a cut to many criminals robbing the homes of people who aren't there.
Snake: (carrying a TV) Could this town be any stupider?
Mayor Quimby wants to follow standard procedure at the City Hall meeting, but some people are impatient.
Mayor Quimby: Order, (bangs gavel) please rise for the uh, "Pledge of Allegiance".
Homer: Get to the money!
Mayor Quimby: In a moment. First, let's review the minutes from our last meeting.
Apu: Get to the money!
Rev. Lovejoy: Get to the money!
Abe: Get to the moneeeeeey!
A very familiar-looking guy with a mustache gives his idea on what to do with the $3,000,000.
"Mr. Snrub": Hello, my name is Mr. Snrub and I come from, uh, someplace far away. (to himself) Yes, that'll do. (back to the crowd) Anyways, I say we invest the money back in the nuclear plant.
Smithers: I like the way Snrub thinks.
(everyone glares at "Snrub" and Smithers, and advance on them. Then the latter pulls out a grappling gun which he uses to get himself and "Snrub" out of the City Hall)
Apu gives his suggestion for what to do with the $3,000,000.
Apu: Pardon me, but I would like to see this money spent on more police officers. I have been shot 8 times this year, and as a result, I almost missed work.
Chief Wiggum: (deadpan) Crybaby.
As Marge describes the condition of Main Street in Springfield, there's a flashback to Homer driving his car down the road with chains wrapped around the tires and a piano tied to the roof of his car. The weight causes chunks of the road's concrete to break off and scatter in different directions.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Look at that pavement fly!
Grampa Abe doesn't think Main Street should be repaired, but the people in the crowd misunderstand him.
Abe: Now hold on just one minute. Sure, we could fix up Main Street. We could put all our eggs in one basket. (crowd cheers) SHUT UP! I wasn't done yet. I'm just sayin', we could blow all our money on a stupid little street, but... (crowd cheers again and lifts him up) Ohhh. Oh, I ain't fer it, I'm agin' it.
The last few lines of "The Monorail Song" go like this.
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken!
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
Everyone except Marge: Monorail! / Monorail! / Monorail! MONORAIL!
Homer: Mono... D'OH!!!
This moment for when Lanley visits Lisa's class.
Ralph: Can it [the monorail] outrun the The Flash?
Lanley: You bet!
Another Student: Can Superman outrun The Flash?
Lanley: Ehh... Sure, why not?
The trailer for "Truckasaurus: The Movie".
Announcer: Coming soon, it's "Truckasaurus: The Movie", starring Marlon Brando as the voice of John Truckasaurus.
John Truckasaurus: You crazy car, I dunno whether to eat you or kiss you.
Announcer: (Beat) Celebrity voice impersonated.
The commercial for Lyle Lanley's Monorail Institute ends with, "Actual institute may not match photo."
After Homer sees the ad:
Homer: Marge, I wanna be a monorail conductor.
Marge: Homer, no.
Homer: It's my lifelong dream!
Marge: Your lifelong dream was to run out on the field during a baseball game. And you did it last year, remember? (Marge points to a framed sports page, with a picture of Homer running onto a baseball field in the middle of a game, with the headline, "Idiot Ruins Game/Springfield Forfeits Pennant". A pipe organ rendition of the "Charge" fanfare is played in the background.)
Homer: Oh yeah.
Marge investigating Lanley's "office" (a trailer) and finds all the incriminating evidence she needs, just as Lanley reenters.
Lanley: What did you see?
Marge: Nothing incriminating!
Lanley: ... good! [Marge exits the trailer]] I don't know why I leave this lying around.
Bart is proud of his dad's decision to become a monorail conductor and hopes he can follow in his footsteps (metaphorically).
Homer: Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you "Ho-Ju"!
Bart: ...I'll get back to you.
Homer and Bart watch Barney Gumble instruct a crane operator to put the monorail engine on to the monorail.
Barney: Come on, keep it comin'! Over, over! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. (turns and waves) Hi, Homer! (the crane drops the monorail engine over a house, crushing it entirely) Ohh, I hate that sound.
Lyle Lanley instructs the people who all want to be the monorail conductor.
Lanley: So then, mono means "one" and rail means "rail". And that concludes our intensive three-week course.
Otto: Hey wait, man! Who gets to be conductor?
Lanley: Oh right, that. Well I've been monitoring your progress closely, (he looks in a book with a picture of himself driving to Tahiti with lots of money) but this gentleman here clearly stands out above the rest. (does general arm sweep across room and gets ready to leave)
Homer: Who, me?
Lanley: Yeah, sure.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
The file◊ photo of Homer after he is chosen as the monorail conductor.
Marge finding a family of possums in the monorail.
Homer: I call the big one Bitey!
At the grand opening ceremony for the Springfield monorail, Mayor Quimby says a quote from the wrong science fiction franchise to Leonard Nimoy.
Mayor Quimby: And let me say, "May the force be with you!"
Leonard Nimoy: (annoyed) Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Weren't you one of The Little Rascals?
As the monorail departs from the station, Marge returns from North Haverbrook with Sebastian Cobb. Cobb's hair looks different than it did earlier.
Marge: WE'RE TOO LATE!
Sebastian: I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry.
On the out-of-control monorail, Leonard Nimoy notices the moon moving in front of the sun.
Leonard Nimoy: A solar eclipse: the cosmic ballet goes on.
Man sitting next to Leonard: Anybody want to switch seats?
The monorail is going haywire and Krusty doesn't want to be on it anymore.
Krusty: KRUSTY WANTS OUT!!! (attempts to jump out of the runaway monorail)
Leonard Nimoy: No! (saves him) The world needs laughter.
- Also a Moment of Awesome as Nimoy was able to save Krusty despite that Krusty was already out the monorail door.
The fate of Lyle Lanley: Having escaped Springfield with the money, he takes a flight to Tahiti, only for an unexpected bump...
Captain: Ladies and gentlement, this is your captain speaking. Our non-stop flight to Tahiti is making a brief stopover in North Haverbrook.
Lyle: North Haverbrook. Where have I heard that name before?...oh no. Oh NO!
(cut to outside, a mob of angry North Haverbrook citizens are waiting with pitchforks)
Citizen: There he is! Seat 3-F!
Marge uses a radio to inform Homer about Sebastian Cobb (who helped Mr. Lanley create the defective monorail in North Haverbrook).
Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you!
Homer: Batman?!
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!
Homer has to find a anchor to stop the monorail. He looks at Bart and pictures him as a anchor.
Bart: Think harder, Homer.
The Springfield Monorail is stopped, so Leonard Nimoy leaves.
Leonard Nimoy: Well, my work is done here.
Barney: Whaddaya mean, "Your work is done"? You didn't do anything!
Leonard Nimoy: (chuckles knowingly) Didn't I? (beams away)
The ending.
Marge: (narrating) And that was the only folly the people of Springfield embarked upon. Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper. And the 50 foot magnifying glass. (which promptly sets fire to the skyscraper) And that escalator to nowhere.

72. - "Selma's Choice"

"And I don't think George Washington will ever be the same!" (Well, no, not after Bart pulled down the robot's pants.)
Marge objects to Homer and Bart singing "On Top of Spaghetti" during their drive to Great Aunt Gladys' funeral, so they start singing "Ding-Dong The Witch Is Dead" instead.
The family stop at a diner en route the funeral. Homer tries and fails to complete the children's map on the back of the menu. He angrily screws it up and throws it on the floor along with several other failed attempts. A waitress asks him if he wants another and he calmly says, "Please".
Great Aunt Gladys starts out her video will by reading Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". Homer immediately grabs the remote and starts fast-forwarding:
Marge: Homer!
Homer: (releases the fast-forward button) All in favor of skipping the poem?
(everyone, except for Marge, put up their right hand)
Homer: Thank you! (continues fast-forwarding)
Lionel Hutz re-dubs Great Aunt Gladys' video will.
Gladys: Now let's get down to business.
Hutz: (dubbed over Gladys) To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.
Marge: Mr. Hutz!
Hutz: You'd be surprised how often that works. You really would.
The fortuneteller Princess Opal who offers Selma a love potion. When asked what the ingredients are, she answers, "Mostly corn syrup, a little rubbing oil. You'll be lucky if it doesn't make your hair fall out, actually." She then looks at the bottle and realises she just took a truth serum by mistake.
Selma states that Great Aunt Gladys' legend will live forever. Homer mentally snarks, "Yeah, 'The Legend of the Dog-Faced Woman'." He then repeats it out loud, much to Marge's annoyance.
Homer declares that he's okay to go to Duff Gardens (despite being sick from eating a rotten hoagie) only for him to pass out on the floor and crawl away.
- The flashbacks to him eating the sandwich as it gets worse and worse. For a while, it was too long to even put in the fridge.
  Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
  Marge: Are you going to eat it?
  Homer: (Beat) Yes.
- Homer tries to drive. Note that by this point, he's turned blue.
  Homer: Duff Gardens! Hurrah! [He passes out, and his head hits the car horn.]
- After seeing Bart and Lisa leave with Selma to go to Duff Gardens, Homer finds the rotten hoagie on top of the garbage can.
  Homer: This is all your fault! Oh, how can I stay mad at you? [Marge knocks it out of his hands]
Lisa drinks the "water" on the Duff ride and promptly goes insane. She believes Selma is a monster and tries to attack her with an oar, plus Lisa almost got run over when she dances right into the parade. She's later delivered to Selma pale, shivering, and looking around wildly while covered in a towel.
Security Guard: We found this one swimming naked in the fermentarium.
Lisa: (throws her arms in the air) I am the Lizard Queen!
As Selma is handed a handful of pills by the park administration to help Lisa recover from the whole trip experience:
Selma: Thank you, doctor.
"Doctor": (off-handedly) Oh, I'm not a doctor.
Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney ride off into the sunset in stolen bumper cars, in spite of bumper cars not working that way in real life.
"I'm not pouting, I'm mourning! Stupid dead woman."
Bart puts on beer goggles at Duff Gardens, turning Selma into a foxy lady.
Selma: You're charming the pants off of me.
Bart: What did you say, Aunt Selma? (takes off goggles)
Selma: I said, "Take off those damn glasses!"
At Aunt Gladys' funeral:
Lisa: Goodbye, Great Aunt Gladys. I wish I had made more of an effort to get to know you these last few years.
Bart: (hiding behind the coffin) Don't worry about it.
(Lisa runs out of the room screaming and Bart emerges from behind the coffin laughing)
After Selma says that she wants a baby, Maggie wakes up and starts frantically pulling on the car door handle in an attempt to escape before looking at the window with a crestfallen expression.

73. - "Brother from the Same Planet"

Krusty has a disastrous stint hosting Tuesday Night Live. It's funny considering that some of the early Simpsons writers (Jon Vitti, George Meyer, Conan O'Brien, and John Swartzwelder, especially) were SNL writers in the mid-1980s (making the whole joke a mix between Affectionate Parody and a joke about the common claim that Saturday Night Live relies too much of its humor on one-note characters and that its sketches are insanely long.^note
TV Announcer: Tonight on Wings...Ah, who cares?
During the storm, we see a nun in the background getting blown away, screaming "This isn't funny!" before she explodes.
Homer runs naked out of the house after realizing he forgot to pick up Bart from soccer practice.
Lisa: Dad! Hide your shame!
Ned: Hey Homie! I can see your doodle!
Homer: Shut up, Flanders.
Homer ad-libs constellation names while Pepi and him look at the stars, pointing out Jerry the Cowboy, and referring to "that big dipper looking thing" as "Alan. The cowboy."
Kent reports on Tom and Homer's brawl:
Kent: Early reports indicate, and this is very preliminary, that one of the fighters is a giant lizard. (inset of Godzilla) (to off-camera aide) Do we have a source on this? Uh huh. A bunch of drunken frat boys. All right, I could use some names... I.P. Freeley. (groans)
During the aforementioned fight, Homer attempts to tackle Tom right into a china shop to beat on him some more. However, Tom calmly walks out of the store and we see Homer was recklessly breaking glassware instead of beating up his opponent.
The end of the fight scene shows Tom delivering a series of blows to Homer's head, knocking him out. Homer falls backwards... and lands on top of a fire hydrant, breaking his back and twisting his body into a U-shape with a loud crack. Tom's expression says it all.
Homer: This is even more painful than it looks...
Bart's stuck at soccer practice for several hours. Reaching his limit with Homer's negligence, Bart tries to use Mind Manipulation to reach out to Homer to tell him to come pick him up (which, the very implications that Bart has such levels of Telepathy and has already established such a Psychic Link with Homer of all people is hilarious in of itself,) but then it's revealed that Bart's psychic message reaches Milhouse, who carries out Bart's message a la The Shining, much to the irritation of his parents.
Milhouse: Trab pu kcip. TRAB PU KCIP!
Kirk Van Houten: (in an annoyed, bellowing tone) What have we said about writing on the wall, young man? GO TO YOUR ROOM!
(as Milhouse walks away, a mirror reveals the rather obvious hidden message, "PICK UP BART")
When Homer signs up for Bigger Brothers, he's asked what his reason for joining is. Homer's brain tells him "Don't say 'revenge'. Don't say 'revenge'." He does anyway. "That's it, I'm getting out of here". We then hear his brain walking out and slamming the door. Meanwhile, the agency worker ticks off "revenge" from a list along with "spite", "malice", "boredom", and "profit", and welcomes Homer aboard.
At the end of the episode Bart asks Homer to teach him how to fight dirty, just like Homer did:
Bart: Dad, remember when Tom had you in that headlock, and you screamed, "I'm a hemophiliac" and when he let you go you kicked him in the back?
Homer: (Chuckling) Yeah?
Bart: Will you teach me how to do that?
Homer: Sure, boy. First, you gotta shriek like a woman. And keep sobbing till he turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back. (Both chuckling) And then when he's lying out on the ground...
Bart: Yeah?
Homer: Kick him in the ribs.
Bart: Yeah?
Homer: Step on his neck.
Bart: Yeah?
Homer: And run like hell.

74. - "I Love Lisa"

Principal Skinner, while broadcasting over the intercom about Bart's latest prank, goes on a speech on how it is wrong to make fun of Valentine's Day, when he suddenly has a Vietnam flashback about one of his friends getting gunned down after making a Valentine for his girlfriend.
Seymour: Johnny! Johnny! (over the intercom) JOHNNY!!!
Bart: Cool, I broke his brain!
When Ralph comes to the door of the Simpsons residence, Lisa hides and asks Homer to make up some excuse to shoo him away.
Homer: She's in the can, go away! (moves to close the door)
Ralph: Yes, sir! I'll do anything for Lisa!
Homer: Really...?
(cut to a clearly uncomfortable Ralph struggling with tarring the Simpsons residence's roof, while Homer lies in his hammock and drinks beer)
Ralph: Mr. Simpson! The tar fumes are making me dizzy!
Homer: (nonchalantly) Yeah. They'll do that... (drinks a swig of beer)
Bart offers to go as Lisa with Ralph to the Krusty's Anniversary special.
Lisa: What if he [Ralph] wants to hold hands?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he wants to kiss?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he—
Bart: You don't want to know how far I'll go.
Chief Wiggum tells Lisa and Ralph the story of how he got tickets for Krusty's show — by bumping into Krusty at a porno movie and the clown mistakenly thinking it was a bust.
Lisa: That story's not appropriate for children.
Chief Wiggum: Really? I keep my pants on in this version.
The moment when Bart shows Lisa the frame-by-frame of her rejecting Ralph.
Bart: Watch this, Lise! You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half. (Ralph's face contorts frame by frame, stopping on gritted teeth) aaaand...now.
The Mediocre Presidents song.
During the Presidents' Day play, Milhouse plays Abraham Lincoln, while Bart is John Wilkes Booth. The play's version of the assassination boils down to a mock fight and Bart as The Ahnold - leaving everyone in the audience silent and gaping. Well, almost everyone.
Homer: C'mon, boy! Finish him off!
- "You're next, Chester A. Arthur!" [Miss Hoover grabs Bart] "Unhand me, Yankee!"
- Earlier, Ms Hoover asking Bart, "Do you want to play John Wilkes Booth, or do you want to act like a maniac?" in response to Bart mooning the girls with a fake Richard Nixon nose on his backside while declaring "I am not a butt".
The Brick Joke of Marty the DJ putting on "Monster Mash" by mistake, on Valentine's Day (which he feebly tries to justify before Bill calls him on it) and on President's Day.
Bill: Why'd you pick that song? There must be thousands of other songs out there about love.
Marty: It's about monsters celebrating. Dancing, coming together, holding their evil in check...
Bill: You put in the wrong tape, didn't you?
One of Lisa's classmates reacts badly to Ralph getting the role of George Washington and accuses Ms. Hoover of corruption, calling her a "deceitful cow". He's right: she did it to get Chief Wiggum to take the boot off her car.
Skinner selling orange drink at the President's Day pageant to make up their losses from "Fire Drill Follies."
Skinner: I just don't know what went wrong.
Willie: You opened the show with a fire drill and everyone cleared out!
Skinner: Hmm. So Mother was right. It was my fault.

75. - "Duffless"

Homer has a conversation with his brain in the kitchen.
Homer: Well, time to go to work.
Homer's Brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
Homer: Roll in at 9, punch out at 5, that's the plan.
Homer's Brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing. (camera pans down to Homer's mouth, but he doesn't say anything) Well, off to the plant.
Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.
Homer's Brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer: I've got to think of a lie fast!
Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer: AAAAH! (he runs out the front door, gets in his car, and drives away)
As Homer is making his dramatic escape from the plant, he encounters a gigantic spider.
Homer: (reading off a scroll) "To overcome the Spider's Curse, simple quote a Bible verse!"? Uh, thou shalt not... oh! (he throws a rock at the spider, knocking it out senseless)
At the Duff Brewery, we see that Duff, Duff Lite and Duff Dry are all coming from the same pipe.
Wiggum getting DOA and DWI mixed up, apparently twice.
Homer throws himself out the window after Reverend Lovejoy tells him that, with Alc-Anon's help, he'll never have a beer again.
Homer watches a baseball game with Barney, while sober:
Announcer: The windup and the two-two pitch, oh, no, sir, wait a minute! The batter is calling for time. Looks like he's going and getting himself a new bat. And now there's a beach ball on the field. And the ballboys are discussing which one of them's gonna go get it.
Homer: (completely matter-of-fact) I never realized how boring this game is.
Homer confesses that he was so desperate for a beer he snuck into a stadium after a football game so he could eat the dirt under the bleachers. This prompts a horrified Rev. Lovejoy to kick him out of Alc-Anon. "I cast thee out!"
The entire sequence of Homer fleeing from all the Duff signs, including the train that sounds like someone saying "chugala" over and over, to the blimp with the sign proclaiming "SURRENDER TO DUFF!" as it drops Duff bottles by parachute.
Homer sees Ralph Wiggum's science fair project and has his own vision of an alcohol-fueled car.
Homer: (puts the fuel nozzle in the car) One for you. (removes it) One for me. (inserts the nozzle into his mouth, takes a drink of "GASOHOL", and puts it back in the car) One for you. (removes it again) One for me. (sticks the nozzle in his mouth a second time and drinks some more)
Homer returns to Moe's Tavern after having stayed sober for a month:
Moe: Well, well. Look who it is! Mr. "I-don't-need-alcohol-to-enjoy-life"! We hate him, right, fellas?
(the other bar patrons murmur in vague agreement)
Homer: (sits down at the bar) Moe... Gimme a beer!
Moe: Hey everybody! Homer's back!
(the other bar patrons murmur in vague agreement)
- Moe hands Homer a beer, but Homer has second thoughts about whether he should start drinking again, and stares awkwardly at his beer:
  Moe: (smiling encouragingly at Homer) Come on, Homer. Do it for your old pal, Moesy.
  Barney: But, Moe! Yesterday, you called Homer a worthless sack of—
  (Moe slaps Barney)
  Moe: Quiet down, Rob-a-dub!
Bart hides Lisa's report comparing his intelligence with a hamster, and starts to tell her that she'll have to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish than the last. She finds it before he finishes the sentence.
- Before that, Bart's Epic Fail with the cupcake attached to an electrode. The hamster only needs to touch it once to learn a lesson. Bart? Well...
  Bart: (sees cupcake) Hey, a cupcake. (grabs it, gets shocked) Oh, a wiseguy, huh? (grabs it again. Gets shocked. Whimpers in irritation. He grabs it again.) Ow! (and again) Ow! (and again) Ow! (and again) Ow!
- The Brick Joke, when Bart learns about Lisa's report.
  Bart: So that's her secret. I'm gonna crush her, (looks at a nearby pellet on a stick) just like this pellet... (he reaches out to crush the pellet, gets shocked)
"My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!"

76. - "Last Exit to Springfield"

Burns learns that the union representative went missing after vowing to "clean up the union". Meanwhile, a football player trips over a suspiciously human-shaped patch of dirt in the middle of a pass.
Football Player: What the hell!? (football bounces off his helmet)
The name of the dentist's office: Painless Dentistry, formerly Painful Dentistry.
Ralph's appointment with Doctor Wolfe
Wolfe: (as he finishes Ralph's examination) How often do ya brush, Ralph?
Ralph: Three times a day, sir.
Wolfe: (glaring) Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?
Ralph: Alright! I don't brush! I don't brush!
Wolfe: (picks up a book) Let's look at a picture book. The Big Book of British Smiles! (he flips through the book, showcasing horrible British teeth)
Ralph: (covers the final picture (of Prince Charles) and begins sobbing) That's enough! That's enough-gh-gh!
Homer points out a scar on his head, which he claims to have gotten from a labor strike at the plant years ago. There's a flashback to said strike, with Homer's colleagues all shouting for this noble cause (equitable treatment from management). Instead of doing the same thing, Homer is at the empty snack van, periodically smacking the counter with his fist.
Homer: (yelling) WHERE'S MY BURRITO?! WHERE'S MY BURRITO?! WHERE'S MY BURRITO?! [The awning falls down and crushes his head.] OWWW!
- "And then I got this scar here sneaking under the door of a pay toilet."
The entire "Dental plan!" "Lisa needs braces." Overly Long Gag.
After Homer is named the new Union President, we get one of the funniest exchanges in the history of the show:
Homer: Hey, what does this job pay?
Carl: Nothing.
Homer: D'oh!
Carl: Unless you're crooked!
Homer: Woo hoo!
Homer states that he'll have to be a better negotiator than Mr. Burns to get the dental plan back. Bart then tricks him intro trading a "delicious doorstop" for his "crummy old danish."
Burns sends hired goons to Homer to bring him to the mansion.
Homer: Hired goons?
After Marge explains to Homer that his co-workers' niceness is really them picking on him, an upset Homer claims that "first thing tomorrow morning, I'm gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head!" Guess what happens in the next scene...
"You can't treat the working men this way! Someday, we'll form a union and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless, and then the Japanese will eat us alive!"
Mr. Burns: If only we had listened to that boy instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven.
Mr. Burns reads a page from one of his many Monkeys on a Typewriter.
Mr. Burns: (reading) "It was the best of times. It was the blurst of times!" You stupid monkey!
Mr. Burns ends the tour of his home in his basement, a dingy room with a leaking pipe, a rusty locker, and a Ping-Pong table:
Mr. Burns: And here's my basement.
Homer: It isn't as impressive as the rest of your house.
Mr. Burns: Yes, I really should stop ending the tour with it.
Homer has a Potty Emergency (since he had a lot of beer, coffee, and watermelon). Mr. Burns' negotiating speech doesn't help matters, neither does the leaky pipe or Smithers pouring coffee from a long spout.
Mr. Burns: Now, Homer, I know what you're thinking, I wanna take the pressure off. It doesn't take a whiz to see that you're looking out for number one. Well, listen to me and you'll make a big splash very soon!
Homer runs off to the bathroom in Mr. Burns' mansion ("23rd door on the left.")
Mr. Burns: Find the bathroom all right?
Homer: (eyes shifting slightly) Uhhhh... yeah.
Homer mistakes Mr. Burns's negotiation tactics for coming onto him.
Mr. Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: (thinking) Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: (thinking) Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Mr. Burns: (leans in over the table) I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: (thinking) My God! He is coming onto me!
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows! (chuckles, then winks at Homer)
Homer: (thinking) Aaaaaagh! (aloud) Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans! Sure I'm flattered; maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no!
Burns tells Smithers to hire the kind of strikebreakers they had in the '30s.
Abe: We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter,' you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
The Smartline scene with Kent Brockman, especially Homer's deadpan face as he screams.
Kent: Homer, organised labor has been called a "lumbering dinosaur".
Homer: (screams)
Kent: Uh, my director is telling me not to talk to you anymore...
Homer: Woohoo!
- In the same scene, Mr. Burns is promised an opening tirade.
  Mr. Burns: 15 minutes from now, I will reek a terrible vengeance on this city! No one will be spared! NO ONE!
  Kent Brockman: (chuckles) A chilling vision of things to come.
The sequence where Burns and Smithers go to turn off the power. First they go through a pair of doors marked 'AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY'. Then they come to a security door where Burns has to insert his entire face for it to confirm his ID. Then they pass through an iris-shaped security door, slide down two fireman's poles into a secret library, and Burns pulls a book on a bookshelf to make the entire shelf rotate and admit them to the top-security inner sanctum control room — which turns out to be a crappy little shack with a broken door and a stray dog sniffing around, which an exasperated Burns promptly kicks.
Mr. Burns: Oh for God's sake...!
After Mr. Burns deactivates the power in Springfield, the striking workers remain vigilant and sing Lisa's protest song. What comes next is a pretty much shot-for-shot parody of the 1966 Chuck Jones version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, right down to the timing of Burns pulling Smithers.
"Look at them all in the darkness I'm bringing.
They're not sad at all! They're actually singing!
They sing without juicers...
They sing without blenders...
They sing without flunjers, capdabblers and smendlers!"
Mr. Burns agrees to the labor union's demands. Then Homer celebrates in a weird manner.
Mr. Burns: All right, Homer. You can have the dental plan, but you must resign as head of the union.
Homer: WOO-HOO! (gets on the floor and spins around in circles on his left shoulder) WHOO woo-woo-woo-woo woop-woop-woop!
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm beginning to think that Homer Simpson was not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.
Homer: (still spinning) WHOO woo-woo-woo woop-woop-woop! WHOO woo-woo-woo woop-woop-woop! WHOO woo-woo-woo woop-woop-woop!

77. - "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"

Bart's "April Fools' Day" prank on Homer involves Bart taking a can of Duff beer to a local hardware store and shaking it up in a paint can shaker. Then he places it in the refrigerator as it shakes around vigorously and waits for Homer to take it out and drink it. Bart becomes impatient with Homer, so he turns up the temperature in the house. The heat is enough to kill a goldfish and melt some vinyl records, but even then Homer doesn't budge. It's only when a public announcement warning about too much alcohol that Homer decides to get a beer. He goes to the refrigerator and takes out the very same can. As he opens it, Bart shouts "April Foo-" and the house explodes in a mushroom cloud.
In a police car, Lou notices the mushroom cloud coming from the Simpsons' house (after the above events) and tells Chief Wiggum.
Lou: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place.
Chief Wiggum: Forget it, That's two blocks away.
Lou: Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney.
Chief Wiggum: I am proceeding on foot. Call in a code 8. (exits the car)
Lou: (reporting on the radio) We need pretzels. Repeat: Pretzels! (cut to Wiggum, running like hell to the Simpsons' place with a hungry expression on his face)
Various characters come visit Homer at the hospital.
- Barney makes a One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest reference, first attempting to suffocate Homer with a pillow after his panicked reaction to a beer, and then picking up a water fountain, chucking it out the window, and running off.
  Moe: He really needs a girlfirend.
- Homer scares his dad Abe by foaming at the mouth.
  - Abe's description of what comas are like: "You relive long-lost summers, kiss girls from high school, it's like one of those TV shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.
- Mr. Burns tries to take Homer off life support.
Bart randomly bringing up an Itchy and Scratchy episode as a lead-in to a clip. When asked why, he replies. "It was an amusing episode. Of our lives."
As Bart confesses to a comatose Homer, the EKG machine shows Bart's outline as Homer gets angry and wakes up to strangle Bart.

78. - "The Front"

Krusty insists on not mentioning his Jewish heritage on the air (despite that he introduced the audience to his rabbi father in "Like Father, Like Klown").
Lisa: It's so sad that Krusty is ashamed of his roots.
Homer: Marge, it happened again!
(Homer walks in with a plunger stuck to his head. He tries to pull it loose, but the handle comes off and he exits)
Bart: What are you gonna change your name to when you grow up?
Lisa: Lois Sanborn.
Bart: Steve Bennett.
Homer and Marge get ready to go to their Springfield High School reunion.
Homer: It'll be great to see the old gang: Potsie, Ralph Malph, the Fonz.
Marge: That wasn't you. That was Happy Days.
Homer: No, they weren't all happy days, like the time Pinky Tuscadaro crashed her motorcycle, or the time I lost all my money to those card sharks and my dad Tom Bosley had to get it back.
"Homer's not here, man!"
Homer's brain tells him to tell Marge his terrible secret.
Homer: Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
Marge: Oh, my God!
Homer's Brain: No, the other secret!
Homer: Marge, I never graduated from high school.
Marge: Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait. Maybe it does.
Homer deciding to go back to high school to complete the course he flunked and get back his "Most Improved Odour" trophy.
- The following conversation takes place as Homer gets his final exam.
  Principal Dondelinger: This is your exam. It's a series of questions, answered True or False.
  Homer: True.
  Principal Dondelinger: That wasn't a question, I was just describing the test.
  Homer: True.
  Principal Dondelinger: Just take the test, and you'll be fine.
  Homer: False.
Immediately after that, Homer discusses with his brain again.
Homer: All right, brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this so I can go back to killing you with beer.
Homer's Brain: It's a deal.
Grampa Abe "checks" his underwear so he can tell Bart and Lisa his first name.
Lisa: Grampa, how'd you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?
Abe: I... don't... know!
Grampa Abe dreams of being "Queen of the Old West".
Roger Meyers giving a tour to Bart and Lisa:
Roger Meyers, Jr.: Are you coming?
Abe: Any stairs?
Roger Meyers, Jr.: Just one.
Abe: Nuts to you! (resumes sleeping)
- Meyers admitting that the artists use Wraparound Background to cut corners, while walking along one.
When Abe describes to Homer his job of being paid to tell a cat and mouse what to do, Homer has an Imagine Spot of wheel-barrowing his gibbering dad to the nuthouse.
- Which is followed by Bart asking if he and Lisa can talk with Abe by themselves.
  Bart: Dad, can we talk to Grandpa alone for a minute?
  Homer: Alright. But if he starts to wig out, try to lure him into the cellar.
Homer at night school with Principal Dondelinger:
Dondelinger: Now, I'm going to, uh, burn this donut, to show you how many calories it has.
Homer: NOOOOO!
Dondelinger: The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet donut.
Homer: (sobbing) This is not happening! This is not happening!
Homer and Marge's reunion with Dondelinger:
Marge: Hello Principal Dondelinger.
Dondelinger: Oh Marge Bouvier, it's so good to see you. (to Homer) Sorry sir, we're not letting vagrants sleep in the gym tonight but we will be putting some scraps by the back door.
Homer: D'oh!
Dondelinger: Oh, it's you Simpson. Yeech.

79. - "Whacking Day"

Skinner's carefully constructed and foolproof ruse to lure the school troublemakers away from Chalmer's inspection.
Skinner: In other news, the following students have won mountain bikes: Bart Simpson, Jimbo Jones, and Nelson Muntz.
(Nelson is outside, forcing crud down Milhouse's shirt)
Nelson: I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud till I get back!
Milhouse: Yes, sir... (he starts doing so)
Skinner: You can pick up your mountain bikes in storage basement B. (leans back in his chair) Fools. (he starts to laugh maniacally, until he stops) Oops. Still on.
(in the storage basement, Bart and the bullies are listening in)
Bart: Wonder what he meant by that "fools" remark?
Nelson: Who cares?! I'm gonna get me a mountain bike!
Skinner's pondering after locking up the school troublemakers:
Skinner: Would the world judge me so harshly if I threw away the key?
Willie: No, but the PTA would tear ya a new arse.
Skinner: Wise talk, William. But the potty talk adds nothing!
Willie: Aye, sir. (as Skinner walks away) Ya bath-taking, underpants-wearing lily-hugger.
When Lisa's attempt to confide in Homer hilariously backfires:
Lisa: Dad, everyone likes Whacking Day, but I hate it! Is there something wrong with me?
Homer: Yes, honey.
Lisa: Then what should I do?
Homer: Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like the day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. [in a baby-talk voice] Remember that? When Daddy hit the referee?
Lisa: [dejectedly] Yeah.
Homer: [warmly, hugging Lisa] Yeah.
The ceremony before "Whacking Day" commences has Mayor Quimby introducing a special guest.
Mayor Quimby: And now, to open this year's festivities, here's our Grand Marshall, the Prophet of Love, Larry White!
Barry White: Barry White!
Mayor Quimby: No, it says here "Larry White."
Barry White: I know my own name.
Mayor Quimby: Yeah? Well, we'll see!
Barry is shocked at finding out what Whacking Day is all about.
Barry White: You people make me sick! (crowd cheers) Are they even listening to me?
Mayor Quimby: My guess would be no.
Grampa Abe tells a most insane war story where he gets shot down over Germany, lives out the war posing as a German cabaret singer in Dusseldorf and flirts with Adolf Hitler (until his fake boob falls out). After the flashback, he states that "most" of the story that was true: "I did wear a dress for a period in the '40s. Oh, they had designers then!"
Marge decides to home school Bart, and sets up a classroom in the garage. As she prepares to introduce herself as "Mrs. Simpson", a paper airplane gets lodged in her beehive hairdo. Despite being the only other person there, Bart's response to the look she gives him is "I didn't do it!"
Marge suggests that Bart read Johnny Tremain. Bart isn't interested until she tells him the protagonist got his hand deformed in an accident. "They should call this book, Johnny Deformed."
I am Evil Homer! I am Evil Homer!
Bart's Imagine Spot of Willie's tractor encouraging him to take it for a joyride. When it starts clucking at him, a rooster appears next to Bart and says, "He's insulting both of us!"
The tour guide at Olde Springfield Town tells the story of how a group of soldiers were told that if they sent their captain out, the rest would be spared.
Bart: What did they do?
Tour guide: They sent him out.
Bart: Was he killed?
Tour guide: And how! That's why they call it "Fort Sensible".
At the end of the episode, Skinner remembers that Jimbo, Nelson and the other bullies are still locked inside the school (the viewers are shown that they're fine). He grabs a few mountain bikes with Willie, hoping that if the bullies are still alive, the bikes will keep them from suing the school.
Willie: What if they're dead, sir?
Skinner: Then we'll ride these bikes to Mexico. And freedom, Willie, freedom!
Willie: (chuckles) Aye, freedom. (mumbling) I'll turn ye in at the first toll booth.

80. - "Marge in Chains"

Bart's immune system in action.
(down in Bart's stomach, a group of antibodies are fighting the flu virus; one antibody goes up to a larger antibody)
Antibody: (in Squeaky Voiced Teen's voice) Sarge, we keep getting orders to let the virus win.
Sargent: Hmm. Must be a school day. Lay down your arms!
(the antibodies immediately fold flat in front of the virus, who starts absorbing them)
Virus: (with Snake's voice) All right! Let's make some pus!
The Flanders family wonder how they got the Osaka Flu. Ned recalls how he once laughed at an episode of Married... with Children.
Maude: Why is God punishing us?
Ned: I can't image what we've done to... oh, no!
(in a flashback, Ned's watching TV. Al Bundy is looking at some houseplants)
Al: Hey, Peg, you gotta take better care of the house. These plants are lookin' all lifeless and limp.
Peggy Bundy: Maybe they'd feel more at home in the bedroom, Al!
(Al scowls as the studio audience goes wild)
Past Ned: (laughs, until there's a sudden rumble of thunder) Uh-oh...
Ned: Oh, the network slogan is true: Watch FOX and be damned for all eternity.
The citizens of Springfield showing their usual intelligence faced with the flu:
(outside Hibbert's HMO, an angry mob is chanting)
Mob: WE NEED A CURE! WE NEED A CURE!
Hibbert: Why, the only cure is bed rest. Anything else would only be a placebo.
Panicky woman: Where do we get these placebos?!
Man: Maybe there's some in this truck!
(the mob promptly tips the truck over, knocking over a case filled with killer bees, which promptly start attacking everyone. One man grabs a bee and eats it)
Man: I'm cured! I mean, ouch!
The aftermath of a bake sale makes the people of Springfield realize the consequences of putting Marge in jail.
Park Ranger: $15 short, exactly what Marge Simpson's marshmallow squares usually bring in. Can we still afford that statue of Lincoln?
Man: No, I'm afraid we'll have to go with something cheaper.
- The statue that was purchased is unveiled to the townspeople.
  Mayor Quimby: People of Springfield, I give you this statue of our 39th President, Jimmy Carter!
  Man in Crowd: Oh, come on!
  Second Man in Crowd: (points angrily) He's history's greatest monster!
When Marge is released, the city presents her with a statue of "her" (which turns out to be the Jimmy Carter statue with her signature hairdo added to it), which the kids turn into a tetherball pole.
Chief Wiggum releasing the hounds on rioters. It doesn't go how he expects.
Chief Wiggum: Release the dogs!
Lou: Gee, they look pretty mad.
Wiggum: Yeah, I've been starving them, teasin' 'em, singing off key. (starts singing off-key at the dogs, just as they're let out. They maul him)
During the riot, one man can be seen in the background stealing a TV in nothing but his underpants.
Lionel Hutz as Marge's lawyer, which gets off to a bad start:
Hutz: Uh-oh, we've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly", and the word "dog" with "son".
- When he starts his cross-examination of Apu:
  Hutz: Mrs. Simpson claims she forgot she was carrying that bottle of delicious... bourbon... brownest of the brown liquors... (holds the bottle close) So tempting. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial! (to the judge) Excuse me.
  (Hutz slowly begins walking out of the room, only to break into a run until he reaches a payphone)
  Hutz: Hello, David? I'm really tempted...
  David Crosby: Just take it one day at a time, and know that I love you.
  Hutz: I love you too, man.
- Upon returning:
  Hutz: So, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name, have you ever forgotten anything?
  Apu: No. In fact, I can recite pi to forty thousand places. The last digit is one.
  Homer: Mmm, pie...
  Hutz: Well, if you never forget anything, then tell me this. (turns around) What color tie am I wearing?
  Apu: You are wearing a red and white striped club tie in a half Windsor knot.
  (Oh, Crap! expression from Hutz, as he begins wrestling with his tie)
  Hutz: Oh, really? Is that what you think? Because if that is what you think, I have something to tell you, something that may shock and discredit you, and that thing is as follows: (turns back to face Apu) I'm not wearing a tie at all!
  Apu: But if I am wrong about that, maybe I am wrong about Mrs. Simpson.
  Hutz: (lifts his arm, revealing his tie is stuffed up his sleeve) No further questions.
- And humiliating himself during his closing statement:
  Hutz: And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.
  Judge Snyder: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you're not wearing any pants?
  Hutz: What? (he looks down to see he is in fact only wearing boxers, at which point he screams; David Crosby shakes his head in disappointment)
  Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.
  Judge Snyder: You mean a mistrial?
  Hutz: Yeah! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy!
  Judge Snyder: The lawyer.
  Hutz: Right.
- And then he commits jury tampering by submitting a cocktail napkin that still says "Guilty" on it...and he has the word misspelled.
Mr. Burns finds Homer eating a sandwich in his special flu-resistant pod. Cue one of the most epic of all Epic Fails.
Mr. Burns: Who the devil are you?!
Homer's Brain: Now don't panic. Just come up with a good story.
Homer: My name is Mr. Burns.
Homer's Brain: D'OH!
Homer demonstrating just how bad he is at homemaking:
Homer: Now, kids, while your mother's gone, I don't want to have to wash any dishes. From now on, we drink straight from the faucet or milk carton and eat while standing over either the sink or toilet.
- Then Lisa suggests working together to keep the place clean. Cut to ten minutes later, and the kitchen looks like a bomb went off in it.
- Homer also dresses Bart and Lisa in the clothes he found in the attic and sends Bart to school with a lunchbox consisting of a pack of sugar and some peanut butter that was smeared on a playing card. Nelson immediately figures out that Marge is in prison.

81. - "Krusty Gets Kancelled"

The "Springfield Squares" bit in the beginning. The beachside gameshow is interrupted by a coast guard who reports that a 50 foot tidal wave is coming. The celebrities retreat to Barry White's square on the upper-right ("It's safe, and it's sexy. Oh, baby.") except for one stubborn codger on bottom.
Rainier Wolfcastle: Hurry, Charley. There is not much time.
Charley: I ain't a-going nowhere! I've been in this square near thirty seasons, and I ain't a-leaving now! (Gets hit by wave) Waugh!
(Cut to Homer and Bart watching at home)
Homer: Well, he's dead now. (He and Bart laugh at Charley's expense)
This is immediately followed by a deliberately cryptic ad: "Gabbo, Gabbo, GABBO!"
Bart: Did you see that?
Homer: Yeah.
Bart: What do you think it is?
Homer: I figure it's some guy's name. Some guy named Gabbo.
A few days later:
Lisa: Our first glimpse of Gabbo!
Homer: HE'LL tell us what to do!
Krusty attempts to get people to watch his show:
Krusty: Alright, here's the deal. Every time you watch my show, I will send you...(holds up a cheque)...40 dollars!
Voiceover: (quickly) Cheques will not be honored.
Krusty's disastrous attempt at aping Gabbo's success by doing a ventriloquist act of his own.
Krusty: So, you want ventriloquism, do ya? Alright, watch this! Hello, Alphonse! I've got a riddle for you! Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alphonse the Dummy: I don't know! Why is a— (Alphonse's jaw falls out and the children in the audience scream)
Krusty: Hey, the dummy can't hurt you! He's not even alive! He's dead! (knocks Alphonse's head and ends up breaking it, making the kids scream once more. Krusty then kicks the dummy into the audience in frustration, making the kids scream one more time.)
Due to "The Itchy & Scratchy Show" going to the "Gabbo" show, Krusty shows a cartoon from Eastern Europe called "Worker and Parasite". Said "cartoon" turns out to feature two ugly caricaturish cartoon animals (a cat and a mouse) that move randomly across the screen, with the background switching between several different backdrops, all whilst ranting to each other in Russian-sounding gibberish, before abruptly ending. It really must be seen to be believed, and Krusty's response speaks for the viewer.
Krusty: (standing still dumbfounded and smoking a cigarette) What the hell was that?!
Krusty begs Sideshow Mel to join him for his comeback (which then turns into a heartwarming moment).
Krusty: Ah, come on. You wanna spend your life hanging out with a bunch of dorky teenagers?
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, Mister. Whoops. It fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow-w-w! Ow-w-w!
Sideshow Mel: Sorry Krusty, I like it here. Mr. Johansen treats me with dignity.
Mr. Johansen: Is this clown bothering you, Mel?
Sideshow Mel: It's all right, Mr. Johansen, I'll handle it.
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Here's your taco, sir.
Krusty: I don't want it!
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she'd kill me.
Mayor Quimby is having a press conference about a money scandal and borrows Gabbo's catchphrase.
Mayor Quimby: (totally nonchalant) I admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies. But as Gabbo would say, "I'm a bad widdle boy."
- The newspaper immediately following has the headlines, "Quimby Reelected by Landslide: and "Two More Bodies Surface in Springfield Harbor."
After Bart sneaks into the tv studio and catches Gabbo on camera bad-mouthing Springfield's kids, we then cut to Kent Brockman (during his "My Two Cents" opinion spot) where he gives a self-serving rebuke for Gabbo's "all the kids in Springfield are SOBs" remark. He thinks that the newscast has gone to commercial and, snickering, says, "That oughta hold the little SOBs, heh-heh!" ... Cue a hastily-created graphic appearing on the screen saying "Brockman in Trouble" ... and Brockman realizing he's been caught.
- It then cuts to a spinning newspaper saying 'Gabbo Still no. 1 in Springfield' with a side-article that says: 'Brockman Fired'.
Bette Midler has a Disproportionate Retribution on highway litterers.
Snake: Oh, no! Bette Midler! (Bette Midler proceeds to chase down the car on foot and throw the can back in the driver's window with enough force to make it crash).
Krusty begging in the street with a sign saying "Will drop pants for food." When Bart asks if he's making any money, he replies, "Nah, that guy's giving it away for free."
Old Jewish Man: The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...
- By the end of the act, just after Krusty resolves to claw his way back on TV, he turns it on to see the Old Jewish man singing again. "And now, The Crazy Old Man singers..."
Krusty drinks a lot of milkshakes and becomes morbidly obese. Bart and Lisa find out.
Lisa: Krusty, what have you done to yourself?
Krusty: I thought I'd get in shape so I've been drinking nothing but milkshakes.
Lisa: You mean those diet milkshakes?
Krusty: Uh-oh.
Krusty dismisses the Red Hot Chili Peppers' performance in their underwear as degrading... right before he has to dress up like a little kid from the early 19th century for a sketch. Hypocritical Humor at its finest. "Give me a bigger lolly!"
Luke Perry is shot out of a cannon. He misses the safety net, flies out a studio window, goes through the Museum of Sandpaper, crashes through jars of acid Apu had stacked (for some reason) and he can be heard screaming, "My face! My valuable face!" Then Luke lands safely in a pillow factory... only to have it demolished while he's still inside.
- Also Krusty's Imagine Spot from beforehand where he launches Luke facefirst into a brick wall, followed by a magazine headlined "New Look for Luke" with a picture of his (hilariously) mangled face.
During the wrap party at Moe's, Hugh Hefner flunks the Love Tester machine.

Funny / The Simpsons Season 4

60. - "Kamp Krusty"

61. - "A Streetcar Named Marge"

62. - "Homer the Heretic"

63. - "Lisa the Beauty Queen"

64. - "Treehouse of Horror III"^note

A. - Clown Without Pity

B. - King Homer

C. - Dial 'Z' for Zombies

65. - "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"

66. - "Marge Gets a Job"

67. - "New Kid on the Block"

68. - "Mr. Plow"

69. - "Lisa's First Word"

70. - "Homer's Triple Bypass"

71. - "Marge vs. the Monorail"

72. - "Selma's Choice"

73. - "Brother from the Same Planet"

74. - "I Love Lisa"

75. - "Duffless"

76. - "Last Exit to Springfield"

77. - "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"

78. - "The Front"

79. - "Whacking Day"

80. - "Marge in Chains"

81. - "Krusty Gets Kancelled"

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Index

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Funny / The Simpsons Season 4

Edit Locked

60. - "Kamp Krusty"

61. - "A Streetcar Named Marge"

62. - "Homer the Heretic"

63. - "Lisa the Beauty Queen"

64. - "Treehouse of Horror III"note A.K.A. "The Simpsons Halloween Special III"

A. - Clown Without Pity

B. - King Homer

C. - Dial 'Z' for Zombies

65. - "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"

66. - "Marge Gets a Job"

67. - "New Kid on the Block"

68. - "Mr. Plow"

69. - "Lisa's First Word"

70. - "Homer's Triple Bypass"

71. - "Marge vs. the Monorail"

72. - "Selma's Choice"

73. - "Brother from the Same Planet"

74. - "I Love Lisa"

75. - "Duffless"

76. - "Last Exit to Springfield"

77. - "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"

78. - "The Front"

79. - "Whacking Day"

80. - "Marge in Chains"

81. - "Krusty Gets Kancelled"

Previous

Index

Next

64. - "Treehouse of Horror III"^note