Funny / The Sandman (2022)

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

---

Chapter 1: Sleep of the Just

• Ethel standing up for Alex by claiming to the guest Alex has magic powers as well and can take away "all his descendants", gesturing to the man's groin for good measure.
• Alex, sympathizing with Dream, goes down to the dome to ask if he's all right. Dream just stares at him as if to ask "Well, how do you think I'm doing?" Even Alex backpedals, immediately realising what a stupid question it was.
• During the tragic scene where Alex shoots Jessamy, one of the guards grabs a waste-paper basket for the corpse. Alex walks past, completely blanks him, too lost in thought to notice and too compassionate to simply discard the body of the bird he has now killed, but the guard just looks annoyed at being ignored.
• One of the guards in the modern day thinks that the prisoner they guard is "one of them Draculas."
• The male guard falls asleep and dreams of the beach. A shot shows a lady in a swimsuit walking towards him, but it soon fades away into Dream marching towards the guard instead. And yes, Dream is still naked.

Chapter 2: Imperfect Hosts

• When Abel revives and finds an egg that's been left for him, he initially thinks Cain did it, as an apology for murdering him. Cain retorts "When have I ever apologized for murdering you?!"
• Abel wants to name the new baby gargoyle "Irving." An annoyed Cain points out that gargoyle names always start with a G, which prompts Abel to change it to "Girving." Cain is not amused and immediately murders Abel again, covering the poor baby gargoyle with blood in the process.
  • He later calls the baby "Goldie", but admits he still thinks of him as "Irving" in his heart.
• Abel trying to comfort the poor baby after he digs himself out of his own grave again. He assures the baby that Cain usually never kills him before lunch.

Chapter 3: Dream A Little Dream of Me

• Constantine is, as always, in any media, hilarious.
  • The episode starts with a priest asking her to officiate/perform an exorcism at a secret wedding.
    Constantine: Tell me what's going on. Why have I been summoned?
    Ric: The usual reason. I have a soul in need.
    Constantine: Who is she?
    Ric: Hmm? [chuckles] Does it matter?
    Constantine: [glares]
    Ric: [chuckles nervously] If I double your fee?
    Constantine: [more glaring]
    Ric: Triple it? Her family has means.
    Constantine: If her family is in any way royal, the answer is no. I'm done with that lot. I told the queen—
    Ric: The queen doesn't know she's here.
    Constantine: Is it the princess?
    Ric: She showed up about an hour ago demanding that I marry them before the palace find out, and the press.
    Constantine: Why, who's she marrying?
    Ric: Kevin Brody.
    Constantine: Kevin Brody, the footballer? He's rubbish.
    Ric: He's fit though.
    Constantine: Just because a Goldsmiths-educated princess wants to marry some naff winger, does not mean she needs an exorcist.
  • When the demon emerges from the unfortunate Kevin (splattering said Kevin all over the princess in the process) Constantine calls for Ric, who darts in wearing her trench coat after they swapped clothes.
    Constantine: You were right about the demon, wrong about the host.
    Ric: Fuckin' hell.
  • After Constantine sends the demon back to Hell over Dream's objections.
    Dream: You have no idea what you've done.
    Constantine: I do though. I've just tripled my fee. [walks off] Oi, Ric! Whom do I invoice for this, Church of England or Buckingham Palace?
  • Back to the church, following the mess of the wedding.
    Constantine: Yeah. The duke and duchess are on their way to pick up the princess.
    Ric: Poor thing. She did seem possessed.
    Constantine: She was. Love fucks you up.
    Ric: [glances at Dream] Your new man is not unfit.
    Constantine: He's not my man. He's not even a man.
  • Dream's method of asking for help. And it technically works on her too!
    Dream: We must go, now.
    Constantine: Does this approach generally work for you? You just turn up and order people about?
    Dream: Yes.
• At first, Dream is determined not to let Johanna out of his sight while she attempts to speak with her ex about reclaiming his pouch of sand. But then Johanna points out that things could get extremely awkward.

  Constantine: Do you have any idea how much she probably hates me by now? Do you have any ex-girlfriends?

  Dream: (moment of silence as Dream remembers all his failed relationships) ...I will not wait long.

• Matthew telling Dream as a recently former human, he doesn't trust Constantine to keep to her word. Claiming all humans are selfish, and how her and Rachel are certainly not thinking of Dream. Cut to Rachel and Constantine making out with each other.
• The Running Gag of Matthew repeatedly being dismissed and told to go back to the Dreaming by Dream, only to turn back up again a short while later because Lucienne told him to look after Dream, culminates in this conversation at the end:
  Matthew: That was... nice, what you did up there.
  Dream: (coldly) Don't ever spy on me again.
  Matthew: I wasn't spying! If I were spying on you, you'd never know it!
  *Dream just looks at him*
  Matthew: So what's our next move?
  Dream: I'm going in search of my helm. And you are going to the Dreaming.
  Matthew: Or, hear me out, you could take me with you... and we'd never have to have this conversation again.
  *long pause, as Dream ponders this*
  Dream: ...that does sound tempting.
  • Followed immediately by this gem:
  Dream: In fact, where I am going, I may have need of you.
  Matthew: Yeah? Where are we going?
  Dream: Hell.
  Matthew: Hell. As in Hell-Hell, or were you being metaphorical? Cause, either way, we should probably check in with Lucienne first, right? See how she's feeling about it? I'm gonna go out on a limb, which is something birds actually do, and say she will not be in favor of this Hell-going.
  *Dream doesn't answer, just gets out his pouch of sand and begins pouring it*
  Matthew: Buuuut I don't get a sense that you're listening, so... fuck it, let's go to Hell!

Chapter 4: A Hope in Hell

• Matthew looks around Hell and is baffled that the damned are made to bring their own flames.
• When Squatterbloat — a rhyming demon — stalls in letting Morpheus through the gates by asking about his missing ruby, Morpheus threatens him with a little rhyming of his own to hurry it up. Whether the rhyming put Squatterbloat in a good enough mood or if Dream's threats worked is anyone's guess.
  Shall I use it to haunt your dreams,
  and your waking hours too?
  Or will you open the gates of Hell,
  and let us through?
• As they walk through a forest with heavy mist, Matthew offers to fly up and scout ahead. He flies up about a few feet when he sees that this is the wood of suicide and the forest is MADE of the damned. He quickly nopes out and flies back down.
  • Matthew asks to know where they are headed, and Dream replies with "the Morning Star". Matthew, recently human, thinks Dream is referring to the hotel and starts to complain. Dream immediately cuts in to tell Matthew he meant Lucifer Morningstar.
• When Dream formally requests and requires his helm be returned to him, Lucifer asks him which demon has it, and Dream awkwardly has to admit he doesn't know the demon's name. Lucifer responds by summoning every demon in Hell, and as Dream stares in shock at the roaring multitude, the Devil quips "Shall we interview them one at a time, or...?"
  • Then, when Dream gets ahold of the demon who has his helm, and demands his name, the demon turns to Lucifer and starts to ask if he actually has to tell Dream his name... only for Lucifer to immediately say "That is Choronzon" before he can even finish the question.
• Matthew nervously calling Lucifer "Your Majesty" every time he addresses them, bowing his head and everything.
• At one point in The Oldest Game, Dream plays himself as a world. There's a Zoom Out on Lucifer, glancing about in confusion and discomfort, as they and Dream are revealed to be standing in a verdant meadow.
• After the bout, Lucifer, humiliated and likely enraged, quickly orders Chorozon to give back Dream's helm. When he refuses, Mazikeen simply walks over to him, grabs him by the neck and tosses him off of the building.
• When Dream puts his helm on, Matthew asks "Can you even see in that thing?" Dream confirms, yes, he can.

Chapter 5: 24/ 7

• Mark trying to have some small talk with Judy, who coldly brushes him off, informing him that she's gay. Later on as Bette is talking to other diners, Mark tries to defend her by saying Bette was only trying to help others.
  Judy: She tried to set us up.
• Bette talking to a couple she had help set up, proclaiming it as her proudest achievement. Judy dryly remarks at how sad that was.
• Although it's mostly played for drama, Marsh casually revealing to Bette that he likes to have sex with her son while she falls asleep in front of the TV is funny for how out of nowhere it comes
• During the otherwise tense scene in which the patrons and staff all begin having sex while under the influence of the Ruby, John Dee strolls nonchalantly through the diner kitchen and helps himself to a massive tub of ice-cream.

Chapter 6: The Sound of Her Wings

• The episode opens with Dream sulking in a park, feeding some pigeons. When Death shows up to tear him a new one a nearby mortal asks if he's Death's friend...

  Death: He's not my friend, he's my brother and he's an idiot.
  Dream: *sulkily* I'm just feeding the birds.

  • That same mortal is smitten with Death and attempts to ask her out on a date. If only he knew...
  • Death notes she has to get back to work and warmly says goodbye to Dream while a car crash can be heard in the background. The mortal boy who asked her out earlier runs up to Death and marvels that he came this close to getting hit.
    Death: *holds her finger and thumb and inch apart* This close, huh?
• As Death chides Dream over his sulking, she tells him the way he's acting is even worse than Desire. Though his expression hardly changes, it's clear Dream's offended by the comparison.
• Death teasing Dream like any sibling would, even nudging him to ask her how she was, by spelling it out for him. The way Dream pauses for a moment, and smirks before repeating Death's words in a deadpan voice.
  • Death remarks that in his absence, they did have a family like get together. She notes that the twins were particularly upbeat about his lack of presence, but Desire definitely missed having someone to spit words to at the table. Also, the entire idea of Cosmic Entities having a family dinner is amusing.
• Back in the 1300's, Death manages to convince Dream to accompany her to a tavern as a way to encourage him to meet people. He is thoroughly unimpressed and frequently shoots his sister some truly magnificent death glares throughout the whole ordeal.
  • After getting two pints, she takes of sip of hers, gags and notes it's disgusting. Then she tells Dream to drink his cup. Dream continues to stoically hold his cup before placing it away when his sister's back is turned.
• Blissfully unaware that Death herself is standing just a few feet away, Hob loudly declares that death is stupid. The mischievous glances Dream and Death share between each other are priceless.
  Hob: Nobody has to die! The only reason people die, is, is, is 'cause everyone does it. You all just go along with it! Not me. I've made up my mind. I'm not going to die.
• Dream is so certain that no rational creature would ever want to live forever, he bets his sister that Hob would beg for death within a century. He even smiles, he's so confident! When discussing who should go up to Hob and break the news he now cannot die, Dream seems to excitedly volunteer, which Death allows.
  • Then when the two do actually meet up after a century, and after Dream explains the whole immortality thing for Hob... the human is delighted. He goes on about the new things people have created, like handkerchiefs and chimneys, with Dream looking utterly baffled as he has a face that screams You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!.
    Dream: (annoyed) What will you people think of next?
    Hob: (scratching himself furiously) Well hopefully, something to get rid of fleas, next.
• Hob and Dream overhear two playwrights talking, with Hob identifying one as Will Shaxberd. When Dream asks if he's a good playwright, Hob replies that he's "crap". Dream then takes an interest and gets up to talk to Shaxberd privately.
• Almost everything Shaxberd says in that scene is in iambic pentameter, which Shakespeare is known for using. The line "In Faustus, when you wrote..." is made into iambic pentameter by having Shaxberd stammer and repeat the word "in" five times.
• An artist spies on Dream and Hob during their meeting in 1689 and draws a portrait of them, and in the next century Johanna Constantine's ancestor finds them with that drawing. Upon being shown the picture, Hob is not impressed at all: "Oh, I look terrible. You look worse." Constantine believes that Dream is the Devil and Hob is the Wandering Jew. Dream in his deadpan voice says he's not the Devil, and Hob corrects her and saying he's not Jewish.
• A sex worker named Lushing Lou tries to hit on Dream, get him to sleep with her as well as buy her a drink. The way she proposes her giving Dream a "bum dance" and a "ride on your cream stick" has to be heard to be believed.
  • Dream immediately turns her down, which leads to her immediately snapping and yelling that he probably "doesn't have it in him".
  • Later as Hob tells Dream who she is, he adds that she's called "the Hospital". Dream asks why she was given that nickname.
    Hob: 'Cause that's where she puts most men.
• When Dream decides to take Death's advice and appreciate humanity more, he tries smiling at a passer-by on the street, only for the man to glare suspiciously and back away. Dream drops the smile.

Chapter 7: The Doll's House

• Corinthian hunting down Rose? Creepy. Carl, Rose's house-sitter, not only leaping directly to seducing the Corinthian but also apparently having done the deed with Corinthian keeping his sunglasses on the entire time? Hilarious.
• Lucienne and Merv brief Matthew on what exactly he's supposed to be looking out for: "anything out of the ordinary." This is not helpful, as Matthew is quick to point out.
  Matthew: Said the pumpkin to the talking bird...
• Rose and Lyta meeting their house mates. There's Barbie and Ken, who've heard all of the jokes about their names before. Then there's Chantal and Zelda, in regards to whom Hal admits he doesn't know if they're mother and daughter, sisters, or even lovers.
  Hal: But I feel like knowing ruins the mystery.
• Three serial killers discuss who should be their guest speaker since "Family Man" couldn't attend. The largest of the three eyes the waiter walking around, asking how old they think he is.
  Good Doctor: Sixteen, too old for you.

Chapter 8: Playing House

• The Corinthian's adventure in trying to find Rose. First, he went to her apartment only to find out that she's in England to see Unity. When he finally arrived in England, he finds out from Unity that Rose is now back in America. After finally making it back to the US, he finally spots Rose looking for her brother - only to find out that she's talking to Matthew and that Dream had found her first.
  The Corinthian: ...Fuck.
  • Earlier, Rose kneels in front of a crow and asks if it's Matthew. It flies off, with Matthew calling for Rose just a few feet back.
  Matthew: No, that's a crow, I'm a raven. Common mistake.
• The Corinthian takes a flyer from Hal, who excitedly reports to Rose he might be calling back.
  Rose: I'll give him your phone number.
  Hal: You're a good friend, Rose Walker!
• When Hal encourages Rose to follow her dreams to become a writer, he urges her to write a story about him while he's still cute enough to play himself in the movie adaptation.
• Hal's dream apparently involves being seduced by his drag queen alter ego.
  • Chantal's dream is her talking to an audience about her having an affair with a sentence.
  • Ken's dream features him stark naked, locked out of his car, and increasingly frantic as Barbie stoically ignores him.
• When Rose and Dream enter Jed's dream, Jed declares himself The Sandman (his superhero alias)... to the actual Sandman. It is increasingly clear that Dream is becoming immensely delighted by this.
  Jed: I am... the Sandman.
  Dream: (smiling slightly) You are the Sandman?

Chapter 9: Collectors

• Upon discovering Lyta's dream-pregnancy has become real thanks to Rose's dream vortex powers, Matthew reports the following to Lucienne:
  Matthew: Rose just got Lyta pregnant.
  Lucienne: What.
• The "Cereal Convention" has a moment of Black Comedy when the Corinthian and two Serial Killers notice that the twelve-year-old Jed is talking to a Psychopathic Manchild who targets children. One killer, the Good Doctor, quietly suggests keeping Jed away from the convention area and the Corinthian flashes a pained smile.
• While on the road, Rose comments that the only thing she can remember about Jed is that his favourite food was chicken fingers, and sadly muses that he's probably completely different now. Gilligan Cut to Jed in a hotel room, helping himself to a massive plate of chicken fingers.
• There's a helping of Cringe Comedy as Gilbert (played by the quintessential British Straight Man Stephen Fry) visits and listens to the panels of the "Cereal Convention". Initially he had assumed it to be about breakfast cereals before realizing in mounting confusion and horror what the attendees are actually talking about.
  • Earlier, Gilbert remarks to Fun Land how they've really missed an opportune demographic by not inviting children. Fun Land somberly remarks there aren't any children, and he would know.
  • The entire convention is basically Refuge in Audacity taken up to eleven. We see Gilbert listening in on three discussions:
    • The first one Make It Pay discusses about how some of the killers used blackmail to gain cash from the victims' loved ones. Two of them insisted on ways of making money, but one killer is quietly upset and insists that killing for them was never about money and that it's a passion just like any other hobby.
    • The second, Womans's Work we get to see female serial killers being deeply upset that they are stereotyped as the Femme Fatale or The Vamp and insisting that they did their killings just like any other male killers — through intelligence, preparedness and blunt force. To add to the Black Humor, Gilbert's nodding along in agreement about women being dismissed before he starts to comprehend what they're talking about.
    • In the final, we see three killers who discuss how their murders were done in the name of God. One killer insists that his murders will bring his victims to his idea of heaven, only for another to declare that as a born again Christian, his God had nothing to do with the former's delusion.
• For those viewers who've been to a con before, there's a subtle humor in how everything at the "Cereal Convention" is exactly like a real con, from the check-in lines down to that specific kind of chair only hotels seem to have.

Chapter 10: Lost Hearts

• Mazikeen tells Lucifer that there are several recreational demon battles scheduled.
  Lucifer: I can think of nothing I would enjoy less.
  Mazikeen: In that case, Lord Azazel would like a word.
  Lucifer: ... Except that.
  Azazel: Then I will be brief, your majesty.
  [Mazikeen closes her eyes for a second and Lucifer has to force a smile to their face as they turn to greet Azazel]

Chapter 11: A Dream of A Thousand Cats/Calliope

• Bit of a mood whiplash, but one of the daunting, epic tasks the Prophet must endure is... walking in the rain and wading a shallow stream. A feat of endurance indeed, for a cat.
• When they're returning home after hearing The Prophet speak, the Tabby Kitten asks the Short Hair if he thinks The Prophet's goal will be achieved. He replies that "I'd like to see anyone, prophet, God or king, persuade a thousand cats to do anything at the same time." (Many cat owners on social media immediately agreed.)
• The episode ends on a bit of Black Humor; the Tabby Kitten's owners coo over how cute she is while she's asleep and dreaming — while she's making the exact motions as a cat from the Prophet's vision, playing with and then eating a human.
• Richard's nervous chuckle after blurting out "a were-goldfish", as though realising, even in his state, that this was a pretty bonkers idea.