Funny / The Quarter Guy

Countdown Lists

Top Thirty Favorite Video Game Characters

• The number 11 entry, Soma Cruz, has three moments:

Okay, Soma's not the most well-known character of the franchise, but as I said, I'm not most fans.

Soma and his friend Mina are drawn in the Castle inside of an eclipse. Video games...

With the guidance of Aluca-I mean Genya Arikado... (Text : Real subtle here, game... )

• When comes the number 7, Cecil Harvey:

It's a Final Fantasy character. (Crowd goes BOOOOOO!) OH, SHUT UP!!

• After he finishes talking about Shantae, he notes that she wouldn't get along very well with the next character on the list, Vyse from Skies of Arcadia. A Pirate.

Top Five Best and Worst Bowser Battles

• Adam listing various "villainous blunders" Bowser commits throughout the list.
• The satirical Bad Dub Hot Tub commercial. Complete with sarcastic "ACTUAL CUSTOMER TESTIMONY" of similarly badly-dubbed lines from Dante, Zero and Goldman.
  • "In order to avoid Bowser's flame breath and Bowser Jr.'s Bullet Bills, I TURN THE OTHER WAYYYYYYYYY!
• Adam describing Bowser's surge in power in the final battle in Paper Mario as "some serious Rank-Up magic."
• Regarding Bowser's last line after Super Mario Galaxy 2's final battle:

Adam: Not gonna quote the meme, not gonna quote the meme, not gonna quotethecakeisa—*slaps himself in the face* OW!

• "Also, did I mention [Bowser's] attacks [in New Super Mario Bros. 2] are molasses slow? Yeah, he's a turtle, but come on! I know he's faster than this, even at that size! I mean, he can dance, for crying out loud!"

Top Ten Cheapest Fighting Game Bosses

• The end of part 1, when they discuss the worst part about fighting Gill.

QG: But the worst part about fighting him, is that just when you think you've beaten him...

(Gill resurrects himself.)

Both: FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

• Pressing each other's Berserk Button:

WiiDude: Heeey, Quarter Guuuuy?

QG: What?

WiiDude: Haaaaazamaaaaa....

QG: G... Grrr...!!!

(Later)

QG: Hey, WiiDude.

WiiDude: What?

QG: Shao Kahn.

WiiDude: Grr... KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

QG: *sigh* Why did I not see that coming...

WiiDude: --AAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!

• The end of the Unlimited Hazama segment. QG claims "this is the guy who taught Hades how to troll!", followed by...

Hades: PIT!

Pit: HADES!!

Terumi: Ragna!

Ragna: Terumi...^note The confrontation between the two in Continuum Shift was editing to make their dialogue parallel the memetic exchange between Pit and Hades.

• Made even funnier in The Stinger, where the edited dialogue is extended.

• The King of Fighters segment. WiiDude and QG go through each SNK Boss in the KOF series, giving a brief description of what makes them as cheap as they are. Rather than select a single boss from the series to rip apart, their #2 segment is Every Boss in The King Of Fighters. The way QG words it prompts this hilarious moment:

WiiDude: OK... how many jokes have you stolen from me now?

(Beat)

QG: ...moving on...

Top Fifteen Castlevania Boss Battles

• The beginning of the climax:

Adam: My number one Castlevania Boss Fight combines tension, atmosphere, music and challenge into a boss fight that is complete, satisfying and nothing short of brilliant. It is the final battle of Castlevania II: Simon's Qu—waait a minute! Okay, who jacked my script!?

Terumi: HmmhmmmhmmhmmmhahahahahaHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Adam: TERUMIIIIII!!!!!

Dio: "ROAD ROLLER DA!!" *squashes Terumi with the Steamroller* "WRRRRYYYYY!!!!"

Adam: Thanks, Dio!

• The recap before revealing the number 1:

Number 15: Big-Lipped Alligator Moment. (Time Reaper, Judgement)

Number 14: EEEEWW!! (Legion, Symphony of the Night)

Number 13: Still not cooler than Aeon. (Saint Germain, Curse of Darkness)

Number 12: I'M GETTING DIZZY HERE!! (Dancing spectres, Super Castlevania IV)

Number 11: BURN, BABY!! (Aguni, Dawn of Sorrow)

Number 10: Nightmare Mind Fuck. (Succubus, Symphony of the Night)

Number 9: Can you dig it? (Shaft, Rondo of Blood)

Number 8: RWUUAAUUGH!! (Barlowe, Order of Ecclesia)

Number 7: NIIIISAAAAN!! (Albus, Order of Ecclesia)

Number 6: This guy's optional for a reason, you know! (Galamoth, Symphony of the Night)

Number 5: WHY YOU NO STAY DEAD?! (Dracula, The Dracula X Chronicles)

Number 4: Oh, that's why. (Death, Lament of Innocence)

Number 3: Chuck Norris? Who's that? (Julius, Aria of Sorrow)

Number 2: The fight for Soma's fate. (Chaos, Aria of Sorrow)

Top Ten Castlevania Characters

• About Jonathan and Charlotte (Portrait of Ruin):
  These two are just too precious. YEAH, I SHIP IT!! I SHIP IT LIKE FEDEX!!!!
• The one about Julius gets a Call-Back when he ended up amongst Adam's favorite Castlevania characters.
  MOVE OVER, CHUCK NORRIS!!

Top 15 Worst Mavericks

• His intro to 420BlazeItHeatnix. ^* The "420" and "It" are edited into Blaze Heatnix's name.
  "I'll take six chromium donuts, one medium corrosive purple Fanta, one spicy jerkass chicken, and make it fresh as hell! The Blaze Heatnix combo will give you heartburn."
• The end of his entry about Tornado Tonion, in which Quarter Guy went mad from this one fact about the maverick:
  Adam: He's just an onion! He's just an onion!! HE'S JUST AN ONION!!! (while this, he's approaching the camera to shout right in front of it)
  (We are experiencing technical difficulty for the moment)
  Adam: (leaning on his sofa powerlessly and whimpering) He's just an onion... he's just an onion...
• The number one entry. So after the Tornado Tonion segment, Adam claims he's all cool and ready for just about anything. So he beckons the countdown to Bring It.
  (The number one entry is revealed as Flame Hyenard, accompanied with a Scare Chord)
  Adam: *Beat* Nope! Nope, I was wrong! I wasn't-I wasn't ready for anything! Nope, nope, I'm done! I'm fucking done! I'm fucking done!
  (Adam looks like he just fell into a warp and sit back down, and buries his head on his palm)
  Adam: I'm not getting out of this, am I?

Top Fourteen Castlevania Judgement characters

• The video has QG call upon help to collab with the countdown... only the collab is with The Green Scorpion, while ZMurcielago was stuck in an area in Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse.
• After three characters on the bottom, which was wracked with characters that got some questionable personality changes (Maria, Sypha, Eric), this exchange occurs before Carmilla:

GS: All right! Time for a character that we can be a little more positive about!

QG: What, starting with Ms. Fanservice?

GS: Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. I-Love-Arcana Heart!

Top Ten Underappreciated Gems

• Of course, the bit in Underappreciated Gems when Quarter Guy makes an offhand comment that the fandom liked to mistake Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage as a Dynasty Warriors-like Button Masher...

static interrupt!

Josh Scorcher: *silence, just gives a menacing Death Glare*

Quarter Guy: *raises his hands up* I'm not one of those people!

Josh Scorcher: Good! *slowly draws sabre* Keep it that way.

Quarter Guy: *Loud Gulp* Yessir...

Top 10 Worst Games To Live In

• At #4, Quarter Guy lands in Ancient Greece. He's happy at first... and then Hades shows up.
  Hades: Yoo-hoo! Pocket change!
  QG: Hades?! What are you doing in my video?!
  Hades: "What are you doing in my video?", he asks. Well, I should be asking you: what are you doing in my game?
  QG: ...Ohhhhh, ffffffff-
  • And then he teleports out at the end.
  Hades: ...Killjoy.
• At #3, Quarter Guy lands on the Mega Man universe. After seeing it to be bad under Dr. Wily, he attempts to jump to the future many times, only for things to get worse and worse. And not even jumping to alternate universes help.

Top Ten Least Favorite Boss Battles

• The Number 1 segment has QG giving a tutorial on how to "screw over a good villain".
  1. Make the arena annoying.^note The area where you fight Gate has several small platforms over a bottomless pit
  2. Give the boss attacks that mess with you in the worst ways possible^note The orbs Gate fires can summon Nightmare enemies, shoot at the player, follow the player, suck the player towards them, or slow down the player, and he can deploy multiple at a time
  3. Make the boss impervious to all your attacks^note In order to damage Gate, you need to destroy the orbs he deploys, but the fragments they fire can hurt you, too
  4. Have the boss be inconsistent in how often you have the chance to actually damage him^note Gate does not always deploy orbs when he comes to a stop, and he never does when he's moving
  5. Give him an attack that limits your options even further^note Gate has an attack that causes heavy damage to you and can destroy parts of the arena as well; if the parts completely respawn on top of you, grip your controller tightly.
  "Follow all these simple steps, and you too can piss me off!"

Top 10 Cryokinetics in Video Games

• During the Monster Hunter segment (though not on the entry itself, Barioth).

(picture of a normal bunny) "Aww, cute bunny..." (picture of Lagombi with Scare Chord) "AAAA!!! SCARY BUNNY! RUUUNN!!!" (QG runs away accompanied with Goofy Holler)

Top Fifteen Favorite Normal Boss Battles

• During his Number 4 segment (Alice Twilight), QG refers to Jasper Batt Jr. as Windows McSidequest.

Top Twelve Friendship Killing Games

• This countdown with The Flamicon has has some amusing moments, with the opening scene being one of them, taking inspiration from a scene from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged:

Flamicon: (sighs) I swear, I am never reviewing anime again. (tosses the DVD box to the side)
QG: What's the problem?
Flamicon: I don't even wanna talk about it.
QG: It was Blood-C, wasn't it?
Flamicon: No.
QG: Bet you I'm right.
Flamicon: Bet you you're wrong.
QG: Bet you're a dick.
Flamicon: Bet you you're an asshole.
QG: BITCH, I WRECK PEOPLE!

• They even do the introduction.

• Their quips about how League of Legends being a friendship killer are amusing, but the best one comes from Flamicon near the end:
  Flamicon: After all, friendship is magic.
  (crowd boos)
  QG: Don't look at me! He's the brony!
  Flamicon: (smugly leans back while drinking Tim Hortons coffee) I Regret Nothing.

Top Ten Worst Monster Hunter Monsters

• When he finds out that Number 7 is Yian Garuga.
  QG: So uh, what's nex- (he stares in shock for a while) Why do I get the feeling that my shower was just wasted?
  Regnilla: Yian Garuga.
  QG: You mean the bastard love-child of the Rathian and the Yian Kut-Ku? (sighs) Yare yare... Time to dig into the antidotes again.
  Regnilla: Don't kid yourself. You're gonna run out.
• This moment:
  QG: You know, there are few things funnier in multiplayer gaming than getting overly greedy and accidentally causing your friend to have a drunken freak-out.
  * Cue Regnilla having a hilarious PTSD-like flashback of him and his team hunting a High-Rank Diablos in Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate*
  Regnilla: God... I need to drink more. *Beat* Also, fuck the Diablos.
• Adam getting hip-checked by the Plesioth in real life when going to get a snack before Number 1.
  QG: Ow, my gallbladder!
• When Adam says that if it were 2013 he would've gone Super Saiyan from all the rage, Regnilla just stares at him until he realizes what Number 1 is.
  QG: What's with the... oh. Oh. OH!
  • "Brutality incarnate, thy name is Rajang!"

Top Ten Video Game Mindfucks

• Every time the video cuts to QG in live action, there's something different, with changes ranging from subtle (like some of the items in the room moved around or QG wearing a different hat) to very blatant (like the footage getting flipped horizontally or vertically). In other words, his countdown about Mind Screw itself indulges in a little Mind Screw.
  • The part at the end takes the cake— it consists of The Green Scorpion dubbed over by QG.
• This line from the Number 8 entry (the dog ending from Silent Hill 2):
  "No, James, it wasn't your guilt-ridden conscience causing these monsters to run about, it was me, now gives me foob!"

Top Ten Video Game Disasters

• From the #7 segment (the nuke scene from Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare):
  "Well, that's a 9.6 on my Yikes-o-meter."

Top Ten Worst Mega Man Zero Bosses (ft. Count Shaman)

• Right before introducing Sol Titanion at the number 10 spot:
  QG: Man, already I feel kinda guilty.
  Shaman: Um, why?
  QG: We're starting off by roasting one of your fellow burning bugs.
  Shaman: I— I'm a spider. Spiders are not--!
• In the intro for the number 8 spot, QG explains the progression of boss designs in the Mega Man series as a whole.
  QG: The classic series had standard humanoids, the X series had animals and occasional plants and fungi, and the Zero series had mythical creatures like peagsi, krakens, mandragoras—
  Shaman: (with a Cucco in his hand) And chicken!^note The boss in question, Popla Cocapetri, is actually a cockatrice— he just happens to look like a chicken.
  (Beat, QG groans and facepalms)
• The intro for the number 7 entry, the Golem Trio:
  Shaman: So tell me, QG, what would you say is the laziest thing you could do for a boss fight?
  QG: Well, personally, I'd say it's taking a Mini-Boss and promoting it to a full boss fight while changing literally nothing else.
  Shaman: Wait, Capcom did that, didn't they?
  QG: Oh, no, they didn't do that...
  Shaman: Oh, good. I figured they'd be too dignified to—
  QG: ...They promoted three!
  Shaman: ...Oh, yeah, those...
  • After describing how the rematches are literally the same as the initial fights, Shaman describes the stages they were first found in... except the Fire Golem's mention is cut off by King Crimson.
• QG is just on fire at the beginning of the Number 4 segment (highlighting Mino Magnus).
  QG: (groan) Now we're up to THIS one...
  Shaman: Come on, we're barely over halfway. There's no need to have a cow!
  QG: Oh, I'm gonna have a cow all right— I'm gonna have a freakin' raging bull!
  • And very shortly after that:
    QG: You don't understand. Mino Magnus could've had class! He could've been a contender! He could've been somebody! Instead of a bum, which is what he is!
• This exchange while discussing the intended natural progression of difficulty.
  Shaman: (interrupting the discussion while brandishing a sprite of Aztec Falcon) Hey kids, wanna see a Difficulty Spike?
  Wild Geese: (scream in panic)
  QG: Stop screaming!
• Phoenix Magnion causing Shaman to hit his Rage Breaking Point. After that, when QG confirms that Shaman has thoroughly vented...
  QG: Good... now it's my turn. (adjusts glasses as they shine menacingly)
  Shaman: Oh no.

Other

• The Blind Let's Play Shovel Knight Fail Montage.
• The beginning of the fan match of the League of LOLs:
  The Green Scorpion: My opponent in bot lane is my most favorite champion...^note It's Caitlyn. He's using Graves.
  Omega Snake: Oh, that means you'll have to kill your waifu.
  GS: Not even.
  QG: I thought it'd be Ibuki.
  GS: Some people it's Caitlyn, some people say it's Ibuki, some people say it's Lyndis. They can't seem to make up their mind.
  Yumi-Chan: Uh... hey...
  QG: Some people confuses who my waifu is. Some people say it's Lux, some people say it's Heart, some people say... I dunno.
  OS: It's Lux.
  GS: I think it'd be Heart.
  OS: What were you saying, sis?
  YC: I was saying... Oscar can kill his waifu, but Graves still can't have his cigar.
• At one point, QG did a Road to Mega Man 11, in which he plays all 10 main classic games in the series to prep himself for MM 11's release. When he did Mega Man 8, the game infamous for its voice acting, he put subtitles at the bottom of the screen to let us know what the characters are saying. During the opening cutscene, particularly the instances in which Mega Man mispronounciates Bass' name, QG replaces Bass' name in the subtitles with a picture of the actual bass fish.
• One Patreon video has him along with Heroforlife and DJ Mix Doctor play Duck Game. Hilarity and "You damn dirty duck!" ensue. A counter was kept for each time one of them said "You damn dirty duck!" Final count is 144.