Funny / The Omniverse Event

Obviously a series with so many talented writers and so many franchises is bound to have quite a few funny moments. The list has been broken down by story.

Calvin's Quest

• From Chapter 7, when Calvin is demonstrating the device used to scan the pillars.
  Hobbes: I have a question.
  Calvin: Yes?
  Hobbes: Exactly how much of this crazy stuff did you expect was going to happen?
  (Beat)
  Calvin: ...can I go on now?
• Chapter 10 gives us Calvin's failure to reassure Hobbes during the assault on the genie:
  Calvin: As long as we stick to the plan, we'll be fine.
  Hobbes: Need I remind you that your last plan almost got us killed?!
  Calvin: That's because going off on that side ramp, taking the box down the corridor in the pyramid, falling off of a cliff, getting locked out of the system, and having to bail out into time-space at the last second was deviating from the plan!
• Calvin's reaction to finding out that Hobbes is a brony in Chapter 14.
• In the midst of the otherwise serious fight scene from Chapter 23, we have Nivlac's reaction to the sight of Hobbes with a weapon trained on him:
  Nivlac: Oh yeah. Somehow I completely forgot about that.

The Rift Effect

• From Chapter 2, we get Hobbes' first line in the story: "At the risk of sounding highly clichéd, this is yet another fine mess you've gotten us both into."
• Bernice falling down the stairs doubles as this and a Shout-Out to Homestuck.
  Jack: I warned you about those stairs, Benny!

Yu-Gi-Oh! ΔX

• From "Episode 00: A Crease in Time", we have this gem:
  Susie: What did you do?
  Calvin: WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO DID SOMETHING?!
• From "Episode 01: Welcome to Domino City! Part 1"
  Calvin: (to Hobbes) People status is reserved for individuals on the level of human or higher. You're higher.
• From "Episode 04: Susie's First Duel Part 1":
  Penelope: I'm Penelope. Penelope Gaspare. My father is Frederick Gaspare IV, CEO of the Gaspare Jewelry Company.
  Calvin: Cool. My name's Calvin, and I asked for neither your name nor your family history.
• Calvin and Hobbes arguing over who gets to say "Card games on motorcycles".

The Q Effect

• This bit:
  "Welcome to the Federation, Hobbes," Calvin muttered. "Someone forgot to invent the fuse, so all their consoles blow up and inevitably kill redshirts. Also, no seatbelts. Seriously. You'd think an organizatiion that gets pushed around as much as them would invent the seatbelt at least once."
  Everyone in the command division blinked.
  B'Elanna started furiously writing a list of improvements.

It Takes One to Divine One

• The following dialogue between Shawn and Gus:
  Shawn: You know, Gus, sometimes you can be a real glass-half-broken kind of guy.
  Gus: It's "glass-half-empty", Shawn.
  Shawn: I've heard it both ways.
• This one line from Chapter 4:
  Shawn: For one thing, it's almost impossible to get a dolphin to cry. Believe me, those bastards are some of the most stoic creatures in the animal kingdom. I once showed one three back-to-back movie adaptations of Shakespearean tragedies and that one really sad episode of Futurama; it didn't even flinch.

Digimon Abridged

• Susie's reaction to finding out when she is.
  Susie: Wait, Sora, you said Python 3 hasn't been released yet?
  Sora: Yeah. Why?
  Susie: When am I?
  Sora: March 8th, 1999.
  Susie: *blinks* Just. Bloody. Brilliant.

Calvin's Liveblog

Calvin Reads Problem Sleuth

• Several funny moments appear in the post tags, typically related to stand-out moments from the posts.
• Calvin's reaction to the clown painting under the safe cover:
  "It's like this entire comic is an outright lie."
• Also, his reaction when the window comes off the wall:
  what
  OKAY NO THAT’S FINE. MAGIC WINDOWS ARE TOTALLY SOMETHING I WAS EXPECTING FROM THIS DETECTIVE STORY. EVERYTHING IS COOL AND I’M NOT PISSED OFF AT ALL.
• His "memorial" to the dead elf at the start of Chapter 5:
  RIP in Pisces
  Elf
  1370 - 200X
• Calvin's astonished reaction to the door requiring the Megaton Key:
  (beat)
  Calvin: Okay, what the hell is this?
• After surviving almost five full chapters of madness, the task that finally exceeds Calvin's ability is figuring out how PI's door works.
  • Which leads to him blaming everything he can't understand in the comic on PI's door.
• Calvin becomes increasingly frustrated with PI's antics, causing him to start blaming PI in general for everything. He even has an entire tag for posts high in PI bashing.
• Calvin's irrational hatred of the Snoop bust.
• "Meh. I ship it."

Calvin Reads Homestuck

• Most of the "Calvin 2" posts have been pretty scary. The most recent one, as of 11/26/16, has a markedly different tone.
  Calvin: (in response to John putting the ashes back in the urn) Yeah, let’s do that now. Probably for the best. Let’s just not focus on that terrifying mannequin.
  Calvin 2: i like the mannequin
  Calvin: Yeah, I bet you fucking do.

Calvin Watches Stuff

• Calvin consistently referring to Hawk Moth as "the Blu Spy".
  • And complimenting his badass telescoping window.
• The line that opens the first episode of his Miraculous Ladybug liveblog:
  And like that I have already pissed someone off for going in the wrong order.

Ramblings of a Leeroy

• Anything relating to Asriel.

A Theory of Timelines / A Theory of Perseverance / A Theory of Darkness

Duelist Foundation

Calvin and Hobbes: Voidtrapped

• Calvin's reaction to the Steam Summer Sale:
  Calvin: YES! THE SALE IS GO! PRAISE LORD GABEN, THE STEAM SUMMER SALE IS GO!