Funny / The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel

Warning: Spoilers Off applies to Funny pages.

Trails of Cold Steel

• Sara tells Class VII that they'll be a class together with commoners and nobles and Machias starts having a tantrum. Sara's reaction? Basically, "Sorry, who are you again?"
• When Sara drops Class VII into the ruins beneath the old school building, Fie manages to avoid the trap with a grappling hook and wire she just happened to have on her. Sara is not amused and slices the rope with a thrown knife. Fie's reaction as the rope breaks is a deadpan "What a pain" in the Japanese version (which also doubles as a Shout-Out to Tio) and a "*sigh* Lame..." in the localized version.
• Rean and Alisa apologizing to each other (and expressing surprise at the apology) in perfect synchronization.
• Fie's first instance (of many) of blatantly trolling her classmates, as Machias castigates her for her classroom behavior, she simply claps her hands over her ears and deadpans "I can't hear you."
  • Literally five seconds prior, she calls Machias a "Good Boy". The way she says makes it seem like she's talking to a dog.
• Some of the quest names are humorous and/or allude to pop culture. For example, Chapter 2 has "Put a Ring on It" (where you help a man acquire a gemstone for his wedding ring) and "Addicted to Bath Salts."
• Fie's reaction to "Baron Bleublanc" when Group A first meets him in Bareahard.
  Fie: Guy's manner of speech is irritating.
• After Count Gorti ate the Dryad's Tear in the sidequest "Put a Ring on it", thinking it has age regressing properties, both you and he learns during the Field Tour Days in Chapter 2 that it was a myth the hard way when he suffered a horrible stomach ache.
• In Chapter 2, you can do a hidden quest escorting Anton from Aurochs Fort back to Bareahard. Halfway through, he stops to stand on the bridge overlooking the valley to shout "I HATE ANNIVERSARY FESTIVALS!" Poor boy still hasn't gotten over having his heart being broken by Fran Seeker.
• At the end of Chapter 2, Sara gives a from-the-heart pep talk about the Power of Friendship. The team stares at her for a few seconds... then promptly bursts out laughing at how corny it sounds (much to Sara's indignation).
• Sometimes, if you complete all of a day's quests, or even did a halfway decent job...
  Sara: Drinks are on me... someday!
• Sara praises Rean for working hard, but tells him he needs to take time to enjoy the fun things in life too or life is going to pass him by.
  Rean: Alas! If only my evil step-teacher would stop dumping a bunch of work on me and let me go to the ball.
• For the battle against Patrick and his flunky nobles in Chapter 3, your party is locked as Rean, Elliot, Machias and Gaius because Patrick refuses to fight women and won't fight a fellow member of the four Great Houses. However, you can choose to initially select forbidden members in your party, resulting in being refused by Patrick each time until finally the game grays out each character you can't select. In detail:
  • If you choose either Emma, Alisa or Fie, Patrick will comment that "it's a man's duty to protect the fragile flowers of womanhood" and then ask Rean to choose men.
    Alisa: Wh-who the hell does he think he is?!
    Fie: I'll put a fragile flower...on his grave.
    Emma: N-Now, now, Fie...
    Rean: (Guess this isn't going to happen until I do as he insists.)
  • If you bring Laura before and after bringing the other girls, Patrick will order Rean to choose men. However, it's clearly seen that he is panicking on the prospect of fighting Laura.
    Laura: *dejected* Hmm...
    Elliot: (...It sounds like the upper-class students know that Laura really won't hold back.)
    Rean: (They probably realize she'd mop the floor with them. Tch. I guess I'll have to switch her out...)
  • If you happen to choose Jusis among the remaining four people, Patrick will comment that he 'doesn't need the demonstration of nobility's refined spirit and dignity'
    Jusis: Hmph. One would almost think you're trying to postpone the inevitable.
    Alisa: (It looks like fighting another of the Four Great Houses might be biting off more than he can chew.)
    Rean: (Looks that way. Makes me wonder who they won't conjure up some excuse for,)
• After the battle, Gaius destroys Patrick's ranting with an Armor-Piercing Question. Then Sara declares the battle over, and referencing the fact that Patrick had said that Instructor Thomas had changed his class to a self-study period, comments, "Oh, and just for future refrerence, 'self-study' doesn't mean 'wander around outside doing whatever you want.'" Then she says that in their combat training the next day, she'll be pointing out everything they did wrong that day. "I'll give you the full, shameful play-by-play, of course, but I want you to really think about where you need to improve."
• Following your first day of field study events in the Nord Highlands, Alisa and Rean have a heartfelt conversation in which Rean tells her that "Still, I suppose the fact that you are ready to talk about it... means that maybe you've found what you were looking for to move past that, right?" A bit later, when Rean unloads on her about his own troubles, she repeats his words back to him, chuckling at how he can say stuff like that with a straight face and saying that perhaps it's best that he hears some of it back sometimes. A bit later, they spot the rest of the party, who turns out to have been listening for some time.
  Jusis: Still, I suppose the fact that you are ready to talk about it... means that maybe you've found what you were looking for to move past that, right?
  Alisa: S-Stooooop! R-Rean! He was the one who said it first! I was just r-repeating it back to him!
  Emma: Heehee. Oh, Alisa, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Honestly, you touched my heart.
• Alisa's grandfather asking if Rean met Alisa while she was turning a corner with a piece of bread in her mouth.
• Inspecting the Old School Building has become Class VII's monthly routine per Principal Vandyck's request in the Student Council tasks Rean accepts on free days. However, since the request will always appear every month as part of Valimar's trials for Rean, Principal Vandyck seems to run out of ideas on what to write to make it not sound repetitive. Cue funny writings starting from chapter 4:
  Principal Vandyck: This month, I would like Class VII to simply relax and enjoy themselves.
  That, of course, was a joke. Please delve further into the old schoolhouse and report back to me.
  You may begin when you are ready, but be sure you're ready for anything.
  • The Principal even tries to tell a joke in Chapter 5:
  Principal Vandyck: Does anyone in Class VII actually read these? If I wrote whatever I wanted here, would they investigate the old schoolhouse regardless? Perhaps I should use this opprtunity to tell a joke.
  I know just the one! Two men walk into a bar, Instructor Neithardt and Thomas, perhaps, and one says to the other —
  Oh blast it! I'm out of room...
• Rean's first display of My Sister Is Off-Limits toward Patrick when you optionally talk to Patrick before you go to Heimdallr, after he asks Rean whether his sister will be attending the summer festival:
  Rean: ...Patrick, I think the two of us need to sit down and have a little talk. *smile* Then you can give me a nice, detailed explanation of why you would ever need access to that sort of information.
  Patrick: I-I just found myself curious! I didn't mean anything by it!
  Elliot: (A-Ahaha...)
  Fie: (...She's going to die single, isn't she?)
• Sara putting Rean in the same group as Laura and Fie when things still haven't been resolved between the two of them during the Chapter 4 Field Studies.
  Rean: I have no objections to our destination or the arrangement of our groups... ...But I can't quite shake the feeling I'm being used. ...Again.
  • Sara's response to Rean's justified accusation? She puts her hands behind her head and whistles while looking away. Rean lampshades it the best while wearing an expression that conveys just how fed up he is with Sara continuously piling work on him.
  Rean: ...That innocent whistling isn't fooling anyone.
• Angelica deciding at the last minute that maybe she will attend that Midsummer party she initially had no interest in going to upon realizing that the 'Fabulous Fifteens' (Alfin, Elise and Fie) would all be attending, as Towa stands there looking exasperated. Then she has second thoughts due to having to wear a dress. Then she doubles back again and realise she could wear a tuxedo.
• In Chapter 4, a Bonding Event with Emma has her and Rean proofreading Dorothee's book. A book which happens to very much be a yaoi romance novel! Her attempts to hide it from Rean are hilarious, thanks to the fact she's a Bad Liar and sports a downright luminescent blush.
  Rean: Couldn't help but notice you're looking a little red. Are you feeling all right?
  Emma: Ahaha. I-I'm feeling perfectly fine. And th-this manuscript definitely isn't full of salacious imagery, either!
  Rean: Say what now?
  Emma: A-aaaaaanyway, I'm doing fine, so there's no need to worry. I'm perfectly okay — couldn't be better! This manuscript is... full of totally unobjectionable content, too... *sob*
  • Should Rean sit down to help, the reactions are priceless. Rean wonders if the whole thing was written by mistake. Emma manages to fog up her glasses from proofreading.
  Rean: I feel like I've been introduced to an entirely new world... One that I might not have wanted to know existed.
• Anyone can admit that Rean having the riot act read to him by his class and instructor for his inconsiderate words towards his sister, which lead to her running off into the old schoolhouse and discovering a strange gate that summoned a monster, which then to Rean unconsciously tapping into his Superpowered Evil Side and defeating off said monster is amusing in its own right.
  Elliot: Well, in a way, it was Rean's fault too.
  Alisa: True. He got what he deserved for being so insensitive.
  Jusis: Hmph. I would've hoped that as an older brother, you'd conduct yourself in a more seemly manner.
  Rean: Well, you're not wrong... but do you think you could maybe not gang up on me all at once?
  Gaius: Well, can't really blame them this time.
  Sara: Heh. Let this be a lesson to you, Rean: your family is your family, no matter what.
  Rean: (cowed) Okay, okay, I get it already!
• When the party meets Vita Clotilde for the first time, Machias and Elliot desperately try (and fail) not to act like starstruck fanboys. Then as she leaves they berate each other for not getting her autograph.
• In an instance of pure physical comedy, Alfin producing a Paper Fan of Doom and whacking her brother over the head with it. What makes it funnier, she clearly brought the fan for no other reason than that she knew Olivier was going to be present.
  • Olivier takes the few scenes he has and runs with them for all he's worth, including suggesting that he host a concert on board an airship. Stark naked. As usual Mueller shuts him down mercilessly.
  • When he unveils the Courageous, a massive, state-of-the-art airship and parades it all over the capital. Fie wonders whether he's Compensating for Something.
• The Running Gag of our team saying goodbye to Sharon and heading out, only to arrive at their destination and find her already there (usually with a wonderful freshly made packed lunch for the party), even if that's at the other end of the country. Sharon claims it's The Power of Love.
• There's a sidequest about an upperclassman named Vincent. He is in search of the girl who sent him a love letter and a kind of flower he loves. He's really excited to meet her, and asks Rean to investigate her. Several investigations later, the writer of the letter shows up in front of them. She is...Margarita. Cue Freak Out.
  • On the same day in the evening, Machias and Elliot can be found near the incinerator. The two of them are scared to death by her behavior. Especially Machias because he was also targeted by her that time.
• Every time Rean feeds Celine milk, she mumbles after having obviously enjoyed it.
• Some of the "failed cooking" quips are worth a chuckle or two:
  Fie: ...it's technically edible.
  Millium: *nervous laughter* L-look at all that smoke...
  Machias: Let's never speak of this again.
  • The names of the items that result from a failed cooking can cause some chuckles as well, such as bad coffee coming out as "Black Liquid". Some of them can even be used as attack items in battle! A few others surprisingly still have effects that can be beneficial in a pinch.
• In Chapter 4, Rean manages to get a small measure of revenge on Sara for all the work she dumps on him. When Thomas corners the two of them, along with Neithardt, and suggests they all go out drinking together, Sara attempts to worm her way out by escorting Rean back to the dorm. Rean, instead, politely declines and tells Sara he'll be sure to let Sharon know she's having dinner out tonight before calmly walking off.
  Sara: W-what kind of a heartless monster are you?! Get back here, Rean Schwarzer!!
• In the gymnasium at Thors Military Academy, it's possible to examine the door to the girl's locker room. Upon doing so, Rean will think this:
  Rean: This is the girls' locker room. If I walked in, my death would be swift. Blissful, but swift.^note Listen to the unofficial voiced version here.
• This line from the cat quest in Chapter 4...
  Machias: That's him! The leader of all the cats in the Ost District! They call him... Mr. Tiddles!
  Rean: T-That's not a very imposing name...
• At the end of Chapter 4, the leaders of the Imperial Liberation Front gather together and C introduces and names them, stating "In our hearts, the flames of silent anger. In our hands, the hammer of judgment that shall topple the dictator." Later, the party, along with Princess Alfin and Prince Olivert are discussing the situation and Olivert describes the whole thing as being like "the theatrics of a middle school play."
  Sara: Yeaaaaaah... You can tell how gleeful he must have been to say 'the flames of silent anger' in front of an audience.
  • Funnier still if you know C's true identity and it would be in-character for Crow to be a Large Ham, especially with Rean and Crow's Ham-to-Ham Combat at the end of first game.
• It's a shame you have no need to ever look at them, because some of Rean's journal comments on completed sidequests are actually pretty funny.
  [Old Schoolhouse Mystery 5] We can now go all the way down to the fifth floor of the schoolhouse. What kind of horrors could await us down there?
  Oh, that kind. We defeated another tough enemy on the fifth floor.
  [Many Hands Make Light Work] We showed Duncan that nobody replaces lights like we do. Nobody.
• When Crow is sent to join Class VII, everyone is confused as to how that's possible, seeing as he's a second year. Sara wastes no time in explaining that he failed several courses the previous year and had to come to her begging "Help me Sara, they won't let me graduate!" (Sara voices this part in-game in an amazing over-the-top Wangst impression) Machias snarks that its even more pathetic of a reason than he was expecting.
• Pretty much any time Millium forgets that she's not supposed to summon Airgetlam indoors winds up being one of these. The machine looking visibly dejected when she sends it away makes it even funnier.
  • While Jusis is normally imperturbable, Millium has a special talent for getting on his nerves, and she does so early and often, including trying to take his food, jumping on top of him to wake him up, and teasing him for being shy.
    • If you want more fun, choose Jusis as one of the characters to accompany Rean when tracking down Millium at the beginning of Chapter 5. Paula suggests that the two complement each other and when you finally catch her, he suggests leading her back to the dorm on a leash.
  Jusis: (as Millium dives into the swimming pool from the second floor balcony) The world isn't ready for this level of idiocy. At least, I'm not.
• If you speak with the receptionist in the Main Building of Thors after Millium joins, she comments that Millium's address on her application for Thors is listed as "secret."
• When Angelica meets Millium for the first time, she takes a rather unhealthy liking to her, with Rean providing some rather amusing commentary.
  Angelica: Oh my, what a cutie she was! I'd welcome HER into my harem with open arms... Actually, wait, I suppose that'd be a criminal offence.
  Rean: Do you ever try thinking about what you're going to say before you say it?
  Angelica: Heh, not to worry, I'm a proper law-abiding citizen! Besides, waiting for a young bud to ripen and burst into bloom really waters my garden.
  Rean: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but this conversation has been thoroughly distressing.
  • It gets even better in the audio drama "Returning Home," where Rean starts becoming extra protective when Angelica has her sights set on his sister.
  Angelica: Ahh... She truly is a lovely young lady. The sight of her alone is enough to send my raging libido into an uncontrollable overdrive.
  Rean: Please keep all thoughts relating to my sister and your raging libido to yourself, thanks.
  • And Laura is as clueless as ever.
  Laura: Well, I can hardly fail to agree how lovely she is. I'm a little lost on this "libido" business, however...
  Rean: [Sighing] Stay that way, Laura. It's for your own good.
• Sometimes, if you win a battle after "assist" with Millium and Jusis...
  Millium: (perky, holding out her hand towards Jusis) Not bad, Jusis!
  Jusis: (arms crossed, eyes closed, looking away from Millium) Hmph. Less talking, more moving.
• Speaking of Millium, her tendency to open her mouth spewing valuable informations to anyone anytime may results in several funny reactions:
  Rean: I think your mouth is Erebonia's greatest threat to national security...
  Jusis: (chapter 6) You want us to drag this hyperactive chatterbox straight into the Noble Faction's largest stronghold?!
• In the optional sidequest where he helps Rosine out, after walking Rosine back to the Trista Chapel, she changes out of her wet habit to her school clothes. Rean is surprised at how different she looks and mentally notes that the former hides her figure well, then immediately reminds himself to quit thinking said thoughts before he's struck by lightning.
• For the practical exam in Chapter 5, Sara decides to have Rean, Crow and Millium fight against all of the guys in Class VII and then all of the girls. She assigns the teams with the creative names: "Team Vice President" (boys team), "Team President" (girls team) and "Team Whatever" (Rean, Crow and Millium).
• In a bonding event with Emma, Rean can't help but notice a certain part of her anatomy...
  Rean: (thinking) Huh, never really noticed it before, but compared to a lot of the other girls here, she's really filled out. ...Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rean! C'mon, get your head back in the right place... Right in between... NO!^note Voiced version here
• In a bonding event with Gaius, Gaius mentions that he thanks Class VII for all the good memories that he's gained in Erebonia. Rean starts wondering how Gaius can say that with a straight face and Gaius responds that he got it from a certain someone. Immediately Rean gets an Oh, Crap! moment and that it turns out Gaius got it from him.
  Rean: (thinking) M-Maybe I should cut down on the heartfelt speeches from now on... (of course he doesn't; rather, he goes even more by the sequel).
• Chapter 5 - the morning of the first day of the field study. Rean wakes up early, realizes that there's still some time left before they need to take off, and decides that he can sleep in for a bit. Then Millium shows up, leaps on top of him, and starts bopping up and down in anticipation on top of his chest! Which is continuous so long as you don't advance the dialogue. (And the whole time, this theme is playing.)
  Rean: S-Stop that! That's not very ladylik— Hurk! Right in the gut...
  Millium: I can't believe it! My very first class trip! We're gonna have the BEST TIME. How much money do I get to spend on sweets and stuff? Oh, oh! Do bananas count as snacks?
  Rean: N-No, they don't. Just... Just get off me... Please...
  • This maybe falls under trivia, but Rean's English VA had a trouble with this scene not because he didn't convey the feeling enough, but he was ''being too realistic'' on this scene!
  • Afterwards, Rean discusses the matter with most of the rest of Group A, commenting, "Coffee only wishes it was that effective." Then a very put-upon Jusis shows up with Millium, saying that something needs to be done about this child.
• Shortly before leaving Legram for the group's field study, Laura's fangirl brigade gifts their idol and her female classmates a set of well-prepared food dishes for their lunch on the train ride, then begrudingly hand over some meals for the boys as well, which end up being fried dishes so overcooked that they serve as attack items.
  Gaius: I don't think I need the wind to clue me in to what they're implying.
  Jusis: (Must this petulant gaggle be annoying right to the very end?)
• When on the train to Garrelia Fortress, Millium describes the largest military base in Erebonia with these eternal words:
  Millium: It's supposed to be this macho 'Gateway to the Empire,' but it just seems like it's trying way too hard.
• Chapter 4 suggests that Elliot doesn't really get along with his father all that well so when he arrives at Garellia Fortress, you expect there to be tension. Instead, General Craig immediately races for his son and gives him an enormous bear hug, telling him how proud he is to see his son growing up into a fine young man. Neithardt's reaction sells the scene.
  Sara: Heehee. What a delightful commanding officer you have, Major.
  Neithardt: Words fail me.
• Chapter 6, when Alisa's mother fails to show up for dinner, Alisa responds by stress-eating a lot, with Fie warning her she's going to get fat, Machias trying to get her to slow down so she doesn't inhale her napkin, and Crow remarking that he might have to change the costume designs if she gets fat
• During the Field Study of Chapter 6, Rean is invited by Claire to come meet up with her alone (taking Fie along with him after he spots her tailing him - which is also funny due to Fie's embarassment at screwing up and getting caught). The others find out about this and Crow, Alisa, and Machias react accordingly:
  Crow: Whoa, hold on. A late night date? I thought you only had eyes for me Rean ♥ Anyway, good job, kiddo! You better spill all the details later!
  Alisa: I CANNOT believe you! After all those things you said to me last night, you go rushing out to meet another girl.
  Machias: So while we were enjoying a quiet evening, you were carousing with a beautiful woman, were you? You lucky son of a-- I mean, for SHAME, Rean. We're here representing the academy on a field study!
  • Even funnier, Rean is clearly taken aback by how good Claire looks in a dress. Something that Fie doesn't miss and pokes fun at him for.
    Fie: *Smirking* Your eyes were glued to her right up until she left the scene.
    Alisa: *Smiling, clearly annoyed even more* Oh, REEEEEEALLY?
• Why does C not reveal his face? His reasoning in chapter 6:
  C: Haha... You'll have to forgive me. I'm afraid I'm the shy sort.
  • Considering who C really is, you can be forgiven for thinking that Crow really wanted to be a Deadpan Snarker in this scene.
• Toval complaining to Micht that the latter made Toval's entire life story into a best selling novel, which is one of two book sets that players can buy throughout the game, with added liberties.
• When meeting Millium in Chapter 6, Prince Olivert asks to see Lammy, only for the entire class to stop her from summoning it outside. She complains Lame...and so does Prince Olivert.
• Pretty much the entire School Festival is played for comedy. One example is when Karl Regnitz and Rufus Albarea decide to tour the school together, forcing Machias and Jusis to tag along and thus spend time in each other's company. There's also Angelica's creative interpretation of a 'dress' to placate her father's insistence that she wear one, followed by her Cuddle Bug antics.
  • The rehearsals leading up to Class VII's concert in particular is one amusing scene after another, from the girls' anxiety that the outfits not be too revealing (punctuated by Angelica's "Please, make them as erotic as possible"), Machias' and Jusis' frustration at having to perform in a duet, to Crow's surprise announcement of an encore (at which an already-exhausted Emma just breaks.) Seeing how scary the normally mild Elliot and the usually careless Crow can be as a tag team when they get serious about the concert is another.
  • Furthermore, Rean and Crow are assigned to work on the outfits, with the girls counting on Rean to reign in Crow's impulses. And rightly so.
  Rean: And what's with these little comments in the margins? 'Optimal bounce vectors?' 'Show dem titties?' Are you serious?^note Voiced version here
  • And when Rean and Crow are asked how things are going with designing the outfits...
  Rean/Crow: Well, we've narrowed it down to the fifteen most promising designs.../Yup! We've got that shit on lockdown!
  Alisa: Aidios, save us all.
  Laura: I suppose we'll just have to rely on Rean to save us from being dressed by Crow.
  • This and this scene from school festival. While Machias' and Jusis' denials in both are funny enough, the latter is even more funny (or even jarring) because Rean suggested them to come together after saying the place was suitable for couples. Was Rean trying to hook them up or something?
  • Patiry, Machias' childhood friend, came to the festival and to her misfortune, stumbled on Dorothee's BL novel booth. Since it was implied that the book Dorothee tried to sell contained a story of Jusis and Machias with their name unchanged, Yaoi Fangirls in vicinity flocked on and bombarded her with several questions, one of them including "Is this Machias of yours a pitcher or catcher?". Patiry was understandably overwhelmed.
• Picking a fortune in the Eastern Cafe during the festival can get you some amusing results:
  • A relationship fortune with Alisa will have Rean's saying that the person he'll love is close by, while Alisa's will say she already knows who she loves. Rean promptly asks who the lucky guy is, to Alisa's frustration.
• Just prior to the dance event, Rean gives a heartfelt thanks to Elliot and Crow for their efforts for the concert, but is interrupted by a shout in the distance from Elliot's father, the great general Olaf Craig.
  Olaf: Elliot, my boy! Your father's arms are ready and waiting for you to leap into them!
  Elliot: *sigh* Does he always have to say that stuff so LOUDLY?
• At the dance event at the end of the game, if you have Rean choose one of the guys for the final bonding event, his sister and Princess Alfin both suggest that he might be into yaoi, or, as Alfin describes it, "...the sort that fills young maidens' hearts with joy and heads with dreams."
  Rean: (thinking) Is this what the head of the Literature Club's always writing about? How did I not connect the dots until NOW?
  • Not choosing anyone ^note Available on a New Game Plus provides an equally hilarious moment: Patrick comes along to take Elise for a dance, but Rean provides a Death Glare (complete with invisible flames burning) before he could come closer. Patrick hastily makes his leave, while his butler Celestin lampshades how pathetic it was. Elise just laughs at the confrontation. After this, Rean again asks Elise to dance and this time she accepts, at which point Alfin comes over asking Rean if she can have the next dance with him. Elise is, of course, once again flustered by her friend's behavior, but Alfin assures her it's all part of her "plan."
  Alfin: (Your eyes meet, your lips parted into a kissable pout...and soon, he'll think of you as more 'miss' than 'sis'. heart emoticon)
  Elise: (I-I don't know what you're planning and now, I'm almost afraid to ask...)
• Jusis and Machias's reaction if Rean chooses them for the "dance event" when he first approaches them are almost exactly alike and basically boils down to "Yes, please get me away from all this hub-bub and noise."
• The titles of the various books you can see scattered on shelves in various areas.^note Much more noticeable in the Steam version of the game. These include such gems as Falcom Diary, Woo Baby, Love Me Tender and Christ, Who's Gonna Die First?
  • Even funnier is that during the school festival, there are kids that talk about them as if they're displays of picture books, yet the bookshelves they're standing in front of still display the same book models you've seen everywhere else in the game showing these titles.
• In the cutscene before the mech battle against Scarlet's Spiegel, there's something amusing about Valimar casually getting on the elevator and waiting for it to carry him up.
• The fact alone that Crow conning Rean out of 50 mira results in the strongest bond in the series is somehow incredibly funny.

Trails of Cold Steel II

• Talking chests are back and they're all puns!^note It also hints on which party member you should bring Just simply try to open a trial chest without the required party members. A full list can be found here
  "Millium tried to play with Machias and Jusis but their efforts were Jusless"
  "Have you seen Dorothee's book about Jusis & Machias? It started with a Noble Command, a Treasure Sword was brandished, and it ended with a shotgun wedding"
  "You try to open the trial chest. It claps its hands over its ears and whispers, 'I can't hear you'."
  "You've heard it a Millium times before: nice Gaius finish last."
  "It's whispered among jaegers that Class VII will take out anyone...if the price is right. They'll just charge you a little Fie."
  "Who decided to name an academy 'Thors'? Sounds like they were pretty hammered at the time!"
• The victory quotes after finishing battles using Assist or Rush are also something to look at (full compilation here). Yes, that includes secret characters!
  • Angelica and Alisa...
  Angelica: You're so cute when you're sweaty.
  Alisa: Ugh. Can you not... say things?
  • Jusis and Sara.
  Sara: Heh, and that's how it's done. No need to thank me!
  Jusis: Ooooh.... you're helping?
  • Claire and Crow. The awkwardness is something.
  Claire: *looks sternly* Hmph. I expected no less from you.
  Crow: Uhh... Thanks, I guess?
  • As expected, Gaius' victory quotes are sometimes wind puns!
  • Jusis and Millium, just as funny as in the first game...
  Millium: (offering a thumbs up) We're as awesome a duo as ever, Jusis.
  Jusis: (arms crossed) It physically pains me to agree with you.
  • Machias and Fie:
  Machias: Phew... I suppose that went well enough.
  Fie: Well, we didn't die, so that's kind of nice.
  • Machias and Jusis:
  Jusis: Not bad. You actually held your own for once.
  Machias: You know what you can hold? Your damn tongue!
  • Vita and Rean
  Vita: That was, dare I say... cool.
  Rean: I... uh... thanks?
  • When two protagonists decide to take potshots at each other:
  Rean: Since when are police detectives so good at fighting?
  Lloyd: Says the high school student.
  • Millium and Crow:
  Crow: Heh. Just give yourself a few years and you'll be a knockout!
  Millium: Ooh! I'll knock you out!
• The Imperial Chronicle is a fountain of Black Comedy this time seeing as it's gone from "slight noble bias" to "blatant unabashed Noble Faction propaganda". The sheer lengths of Blatant Lies in its articles are pure hilarity.
• The first time the party meet General Craig, he races in to hug Elliot just like before. This time, Elliot successfully dodges it. The hug still happens, but in a more heartwarming tone. In addition, Olaf Craig is Suddenly Speaking in this game, and he's just as much of a Large Ham as you'd expect.
• If Princess Alfin's trying to draw Rean and Elise together in the first game provided some funny moments, it is nothing compared to her basically going into hyper-mode with this in the sequel.
  Alfin: Ahhh, the bond between siblings is truly a miraculous thing! Not only do you share an unwavering kinship, but you'll always have the tender embrace of skinship within reach... I'm sooo jealous... (heart emoticon)
• When Rean reunites with Machias and the two return to Celdic, they point out they should probably avoid being noticed by the Provincial Army (bear in mind Machias' father was recently arrested for treason). So Machias... takes off his glasses. The others Lampshade how ineffective of a disguise it is, and then Rean points out the other obvious problem:
  Rean: How's your eyesight?
  Machias: ...Less than ideal.
• Machias's reaction to meeting Celine again is also amusing.
  Machias: C-Celine?! ...Still a talking cat, I see...
• When reuniting with Fie and Elliot again, Fie screws up her landing and instead knocks Rean off his feet, moving back inton heartwarming as she is glad to see him.
• When Clair joins the party, and has changed out of her military uniform, Fie gets rather irritated with the boys for how appreciative they are about it.
• As scary as it is seeing Garellia Fortress with a giant hole blown through it is, Fie's description of it?
  Fie: It's like someone took a giant ice cream scoop to it.
• Duvalie the Swift acting as the straight woman when she's teaming up with anyone else, be it the apathetic McBurn, the love-seeking Phantom Thief Bleublanc, or even the jaegers Xeno and Leonidas who love to spout Casual Danger Dialogue. Bleublanc manages to sum things up in one line:
  Bleublanc: I think the number of Enforcers who take things seriously are in the minority, I'm afraid.
• During a hidden quest at Bareahard, after finding the lost kitten, Celine starts explaining to the old lady why the kitten disappeared from her sight only to forget that she's a cat and cats aren't supposed to talk in human language.
• The intermission where you're on board the Pantagruel has some surprising moments considering you're on the villains' main airship and you can have friendly chats with most of them. And they all don't seem to mind talking to you. Here are some examples:
  • Scarlet, a leader of the Imperial Liberation Front who you fought in the previous game, offers you a cup of tea and is surprisingly affable given her position. Even Rean is surprised at how differently she acts when she's not in battle.
    • This is also a chance to learn her background as an apprentice sister training to use templar sword in Holy City of Arteria. Rean's word of disbelief is worth a chuckle.
    Rean: Surely you're talking about some other church, right?
  • Xeno and Leonidas, two of Fie's old comrades from Zephyr, act like two overprotective fathers in regards to Rean's possible relationship with Fie. Leonidas in particular asks if Rean has made any moves on her.
  • Altina is casually sleeping in her room until Rean walks in. She then summons Claiomh Solais to beat the ever-loving crap out of her intruder, only to say later that she was joking and knew Rean was innocent all along. Rean appropriately reacts.
  • Bleublanc offers to share a drink with Rean and tell stories of his past escapades in Liberl. Rean initially declines, but then decides to listen for the heck of it. One cut later, and the two are casually talking as if they were old friends sharing tales of their experiences. Rean himself can't even believe that he sat and talked with Bleublanc, a wanted criminal, for that long.
  Bleublanc: "Haha! A thief of my caliber can steal much more than just objects, Rean. There, I was able to steal much more of your time... and your interest. Perhaps I stole your heart as well?"
  Rean: "Rest assured, that did not happen."
  • McBurn, a top enforcer of Ouroboros, is one of the few to have a serious talk with Rean, but the fact that he's still as apathetic as ever while doing so still makes the situation hilarious.
  • Duvalie reveals herself to be a fangirl of her lord Arianrhod, the Steel Maiden of Ouroboros, endlessly offering words of praise and boasting about her strength.
  • Visit the various rooms again this time with Alfin in tow and there are still quite a few moments:
    • Duvalie, visiting Altina's room, is surprised at Altina summoning Claiomh Solais; meanwhile, the latter thinking that she's another indecent person. Duvalie then starts lecturing her on why she's sleeping all day and complaining that she's the Only Sane Woman while Altina fires back that she's also Not So Above It All.
    • Bleublanc wondering if McBurn is as bored as usual. The latter answers with a Blunt "Yes".
    • Talk to the maid and Alfin really wants to let her know that Rean is her special person with Rean really not wanting to be involved.
  • Rean and Alfin escaping the Pantagruel also has some moments. First, Rean is chastised by Xeno to not flirt in front of him and Leonidas, and just as Leonidas is declaring that no one has ever gotten past them, Rean is able to create afterimages and moves so fast that he manages to do exactly that. Then, Altina declares that she still thinks Rean is an indecent person after hearing Alfin ask him to hold him tighter, and after Rean makes quick work of Altina, Alfin complains that maybe Rean is indecent for treating a girl younger than her like that. And then there's his Casual Danger Dialogue with Crow and McBurn.
  Crow: Still, you're one busy guy, you know that? One minute you're down in the dumps, the next you've got one of the cutest girls in the country cheering you up.
  Rean: Haha... Well, I can't deny it.

  • Now imagine all that with Rean having complete control of his Super Mode complete with Power Echoes and him having the most mundane conversations with the bad guys while trying to defend himself to the princess.
• After expressing his relief to see that his little sister is alright, the first thing Prince Olivert asks Alfin is if she was "enjoying her scandalous elopement with Rean." He then tries to break the stalemate between the allies of Class VII and the Noble Alliance by suggesting they all have a party instead. Bleublanc and Sharon (two enforcers of Ouroboros mind you) immediately jump on the idea, and Xeno even offers to bring drinks. Casual Danger Dialogue at its finest.
  • In response to Olivert's remark, Alfin responds with this:
  Alfin: Oh, he gave me the time of my life.
  • Which is then followed by Rean's classmates giving some snarky responses.
  Fie: You guys were having that much "fun", huh?
  Laura: And with our princess, Rean?
  Machias: To think, we were so worried about you.
  Rean: You're not supposed to take it literally!
  • During the encounter, Duvalie starts her usual badmouthing of the Arseids. Viscount Arseid then comments that he doesn't know what her grievance is against his family, but he'd be happy to grant her satisfaction. Duvalie hastily backs down to avoid having to duel the Radiant Blademaster.
• When traveling to the Nord Highlands, the party lands in a remote region and is forced to make their first trek, to Zender Gate, on foot. A couple of characters in your chosen party will comment on this.
  Elliot: Please tell me that's Zender Gate.
  Machias: (panting) This trip really wasn't meant to be done on foot.
• While the reunion scenes are all quite touching, Millium's still manages to be somewhat humorous.
  Millium: Okay, it's Millium time! (leaps on top of Rean's chest)
  Rean: Whoa, hold up!
  Millium: Oh, I missed you so much, Rean!
  • And before that, after Rean and Alisa had their bonding moment, Alisa's grandfather Gwyn lampshades that Alisa has gotten bolder with her hugging another man in his presence.
• When the party arrives in Roer, they find Angelica disguised as a nun. The very concept is hilarious enough, but even better is that she continues to wear the outfit upon joining the party. It even carries over to her S Craft portrait.
• If you talk to Alisa after taking back Bareahard, she will request that she be transported into the cockpit area to see what Rean sees when he's in control of Valimar. Of course, given that the seat wasn't made to be occupied by two humans, Rean and Alisa find themselves in a... less-than-ideal position. Valimar explains that given the limited space, it was the best he could do under the circumstances, leading Rean to comment "Oh, you are SO lying." However, the kicker is that after some heart-to-heart between the two and a long pause of staring into each other's eyes, Valimar interrupts the moment by noting that he "detected an abnormal increase in [their] heart rates" and advises that they seek medical attention. Rean and Alisa assure a confused Valimar that they're quite alright.
• Celine's reaction to meeting back up with Emma...
  Celine: At least I won't end up a stray.
  Emma: *sniffle* Celine, there's nothing wrong with being honest about your feelings, you know.
• A couple of times in the game, the party is assisted by a hooded, cloaked, deep-voiced mysterious individual. Finally, in Celdic, as Rean prepares to board the Courageous, he is approached by the man... who reveals himself to be Instructor Thomas. Rean is understandably shocked.
  Thomas: Tada! Tis I, Thomas, your favorite instructor! It's certainly been a while since you've enjoyed the bliss of one of my enthralling lessons, hasn't it?
  • Machias, Fie, and Elliot's reaction to the above:
    Machias: And all MY dreams were dashed the second I learned that suspicious man turned out to be Instructor Thomas.
    Elliot: Ahaha... I know how you feel.
    Fie: So much for a super-cool action hero.
    Celine: I don't know. He's always come across as an airhead to me, but maybe there's more to him than I thought.
• When you obtain your first Lost Art Quartz, the party has a discussion over whether Lost Technology like that will work with their current ARCUS. They conclude that they'll probably work, but if Sara is in your party, she'll add "or something could explode, but it's worth a shot."
• Fie's special dorm event in the epilogue if you chose her for the final bonding event has one at the end where she wants to introduce Rean to her original family once she finds all of them because out of her new family, Rean is "the most special" to her. Of course, after witnessing how Xeno and Leonidas acted in regards to Fie and Rean getting friendly with her, Rean starts to worry a bit.
  Rean: Y-Yeah, that'll go over really well with your family of jaegers... Well, whatever. Bring it on!
• McBurn is not a fan of speeches in his boss fight:
  So let's knock it off with the tired one-liners and get down to business.
  • If you have Sara and Fie in your party and the party is saved from McBurn by Victor:
  Sara: I-I think I'm in love... I mean, thank you for coming!
  Fie: Sara, stop thinking out loud.
  • Which is quite a contrast to her reaction to when the party got saved from Xeno and Leo by Sharon and Claire:
  Sara: Oh look. It's my two FAVORITE people. (The extremely sarcastic tone is what sells it)
• Crow calls out Rean for kind of cheating in his Duel Boss:
  Crow: Honestly... 'it's got nothing to do with our classmates,' he says. And then what does he do? He goes and pulls off ARCUS links with them perfectly mid-battle. Kinda contradicting yourself, don'cha think?
• After Rean apologizes to Claire late in the game for lashing out at her for not informing him that she might have a hunch that Osborne is his father, Toval, Elise, and Alfin all remark that Rean has added another woman to his harem.
• After the battle between Rean and Crow in their Divine Knights, the others of Class VII take time to mock Rean's words during it.
  Millium: Where'd you pull all those cheesy lines from anyway?
  Jusis: (deep, mocking voice) How inspiring, 'I won't let anyone interfere!' and 'We'll fight until our souls burn out!', hmm?
  Machias: Have you ever considered—I don't know—reading the atmosphere?!
  • When Duke Cayenne butts in right after this, several characters react with a blunt "oh, I forgot he was here".
• On the final free day, you can encounter Machias and Jusis, arguing over a political textbook that they want. They finally agree to have Jusis help out the upper class chess club, and whoever wins the big rematch gets the book. Rean's reaction, in his thoughts...
  Rean: Oh, just kiss already.
• Margarita's pursuit of Vincent continues throughout this game. Thanks to his trying to spare her feelings, she somehow manages to get it in her head that they are engaged. He finally is forced to tell her he's not interested in her in more certain terms, but still not firmly enough that she gets it in her head that though he won't marry her now, she might have a chance in the future.
• Some of Class VII's reactions after saving Dorothee and her yaoi book from mosters attack in December 20.
  Fie: You almost died for that book, I hope you know.
  Machias: It's not one of THOSE books, is it?
  Jusis: It amazes me how much trouble you've gone through to take that lowbrow smut from the academy.
  Sara: *sigh* Kids these days, I swear...
  Millium: Why would a book's pages be steamy?
  Rean: ...Let's save that discussion for when you're older. Please.
• The ending. Everyone in Class VII thanks Sara and bows for all she's done for them, causing her to break down and cry, even though she had been planning to act "cool and mature" until the end.
  Fie: You lost sight of both cool AND mature a long time ago.
• Some of Class VII's responses to Sara announcing the last in-game free day.
  Jusis: If there are so many guys who are interested in you, then how come you spend your every moment drinking alone in your room?
  Fie: At this point, you might as well just buy a couple of cats and get it over with...
• On the last free day, Rean's plan is to go help out the student council as usual. Machias' response:
  Machias: Ah, Rean. Ever the reliable gofer.
• One of the student council task has Rean collecting comments for Radio Trista's new show. He needs one from a Thors teacher, and Vice Principal Heinrich tells him in no certain terms he's not interested in that drivel... until Rean tells him the show might be aired in Crossbell. Heinrich is suddenly VERY enthusiastic in the hope that Rixia Mao might possibly be listening.
• During the epilogue, when the Old Schoolhouse bell rings again and everyone met up with Toval and the others who were visiting...
  Angelica: Do my eyes deceive me? Are ALL THREE of the Fabulous Fifteens here in one place!?
  George: Way to keep your priorities in check, Angie.
• Anytime that Millium refers to Altina's Claiomh Solais as "Sammy."
  Altina: Kindly stop referring to Claiomh Solais with that bizarre nickname.
• During the epilogue sidequest where Patrick wants to determine who among the academy is the strongest of all, the final round happens to be Principal Vandyck and Instructor Beatrix. Rean then starts making his Rousing Speech to the other two party members when:
  Vandyck: Haha. There's our Class VII. Although it wouldn't be fair if only three of you took us on. You should call another one of your classmates.
  Beatrix: There's no fun for any of us in an easy win, after all.
  Rean: (in his head) Oookay, now I'm really scared...
• If you choose Laura for one of the bonding events in Roer, you get to see a skit with her messing around with various orbal technology in a shop, with disastrous results.
  Rean: (observing a smoking orbal washing machine) Please tell me you haven't done what I think you've done...
  Laura: I'm afraid it appears I've broken it.
• When Rean starts complaining that Elise is on-board the Courageous, everyone starts shutting him down. Even Valimar joins in the fun!
• When Mueller meets up with his good friend Neithardt and the two deciding to have a friendly competition to see who can destroy the magic knights the most, Thomas wants to join in. Mueller, having no idea who Thomas is, asks Neithardt if he's a friend while Neithardt does not want to deal with Thomas whatsoever.
• Maple and Purple, two NPCs in Ymir, have some great banter, particularly on the subject of Purple's chest. If you bring Fie along for the trip to Legram and talk to Maple before you leave, it prompts this exchange:
  Fie: What's your take on bigger boobs, Rean?
  Rean: I don't think there's a good way to answer this, so I'm going to stay silent.
• On the final free day, Rean is involved in a sidequest in which he's supposed to help find stuff to sell for a flea market in the Auditorium at Thors. As part of this, he ends up in Sara's room in the Class VII dormitory and decides to try to get Sara to clean it out, as she's going to be leaving soon to go back to her bracer work. Of course, she ends up dumping a lot of the cleaning on him and makes the comment (paraphrased slightly) that "Blessed is the instructor with capable students, for upon them shall be thrust the bulk of the work." Rean responds that she really shouldn't say stuff like that, even if it's what she's thinking.
• Another quest on the final free day has Neithardt giving Rean his own unique brand of swimming lessons again. And dragging the other guys into it too. Machias' reaction sells it:
  Machias: Rean, next time you think TORTURE would be more fun together, DON'T call me. Ugh, what was Neithardt thinking?
  Jusis: Trying to scrutinize the unfathomable will only tire you out. Just give it up and don't drown.
• On the epilogue, Rean finds Vivi impersonating Linde and thinking up pranks; she settles on proposing to every one of the first years while pretending to be her sister. Rean quickly tries to shut her down by saying "I know that's you, Vivi. Please stop trying to ruin your sister's life." When she responds that he knows her too well after all their "hot and sweaty nights onboard the Courageous", Rean decides to add in "Please stop trying to ruin my life too."
• The Creepy Sheep take up their old habit of spying on girls in hot springs and this time it's up to Class VII to stop them. Just as the boys swap off their guard shift in the spring and the girls take their place, the sheep make their appearance. Rean promptly dashes in, ready for combat... before he hears his male compatriots calling from back inside that that may not have been the wisest move. Cue all the girls in bathing towels staring furiously at him.
• The amusing cooking quotes return!
  Rean: (success) Wow! People can actually eat this!
  Jusis: (failure) What in Aidios's name is this?
  Fie: (cooking) It's Fie's cooking power-hour!
  Claire: (failure) How could this have gone so wrong?
  Millium: (failure) Death tolls in the thousands!
• During the epilogue, if Rean speaks to Machias in the dorms, he will start to ask him "Hey, Machias, working hard or hardly working?" Machias warns him not to complete the sentence, as he knows full well that he's working hard. Machias has just been accepted to a major political academy and has a whole bunch of prep work to do.
• The game's final sidequest, "To Sharon, With Love" has Running Gag NPC Anton end up falling in love with Sharon and asking Class VII to arrange a meeting between them. It goes well at first, and Sharon ends up liking the present he got for her, so he decides to move to the next step: asking for her contact information. ...Except he instead ends up blurting out "I LOVE YOU WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!" For added amusement, after he does, and realizes what he just did, the "Game Over" music, "Failing Marks...", starts playing.
  • If you have Alfin with you during the quest, she spends most of it in full Squee mode at getting to watch a "romantic tryst" unfold.
  • Sara's reaction upon realizing exactly who Anton is pining for is also golden:
  Sara: Oh noooo... there are trees that man was not meant to climb.
  • Hilarious in Hindsight too, because it's sort of a blink-and-you'll-miss it moment, but he's actually been pining for her since the first game, as revealed if you talk to him during the evening on the first day of the Academy Festival in the cafeteria.
• During the raid on Aurochs fort, Class VII winds up facing off against McBurn and Duvalie... until McBurn gets bored and decides to take off and let Duvalie handle the whole thing. Duvalie is so frustrated she punctuates her response with a frustrated scream that must be heard to be believed. This is the Japanese version for comparison.
  Duvalie: AAAUGH!! He is UNBELIEVABLE!! THIS is why I hate working with him!!
  • On the subject of Duvalie's scream of frustration, the one at the Infernal Castle's First Stratum when Class VII proceeds to the next stratum while Bleublanc gets distracted by Toval and Prince Olivert's arts proficiency should also be heard to be believed.
• During the Divertissment chapter, Lloyd and Rixia first test out the ARCUS system and because the ARCUS system allows people to know one's movements deeply if the two linked users have opened up with each other, let's just say Ship Tease ensues with the both of them. The Capture King is still on top form as usual.
  Lloyd: On that note, we should count ourselves lucky for being able to utilize them so well. I don't think we've had a single problem linking up.
  Rixia: Heehee. I admit, it's a strange feeling. It was if we knew everything there was to know about one another, through and through. Almost as if our bodies became one...
  * Lloyd and Rixia blush and look away from each other*
  Lloyd: How, umm... poetic.
  • Also during the same chapter, Lloyd and Rixia come across a duct that they needs to be entered in order to reach the next area. The dialogue will differ depending on who the player is currently playing as. If it's Lloyd, he muses in relief that he's the one in the lead as it means no Accidental Pervert moments for him much as Rixia remains oblivious. However, if the player uses the latter instead, who is still quite oblivious, this line is given.
  Lloyd: I might not be able to see anything but this is pure torture...
• The funny quest description makes its return and this time it comes from none other than Prince Olivert himself. The Finale is full of these because all of them come from him.
  [My Jormungandr Don't Want None] When we speak of serpents, what should spring to mind but the fell Jormungandr? But in truth, I have my own glorious serpent I bring out at parties and on special occations. In fact—
  (Rean, this is Major Vander. Pay no attention to the prince and just kill the monster.)
  • Even more hilarious, the operation the empire uses for the world war in Cold Steel IV is called "Operation Jormungandr".
• After rescuing Elise, the royal family, and the governor general, Elise and Rean hug it out with Rean declaring that everything that he's done was Worth It. If players bring Fie in the party:
  Fie: Someone's got a sister complex.
• There's something strangely amusing about Zephyr painting their logo on one of the doors in the Infernal Castle, considering the dungeon's rather ominous Nightmare Fuel design.
• The image for the Inseparable achievement (raise any two characters to Link Level 7) in the Steam version of the game^note The PS3 version's trophies just use generic trophy images features artwork of Jusis and Machias.
• The brief exchange when Olivert and Rival show up in the Infernal Castle:
  Bleublanc: It's not often you get to face off with two so distinguished Arts-users as yourselves. Then, I too, shall not hold back.
  Duvalie: This is NOT the time for one-upsmanship!
• The options for declining a side quest range from a polite "Let me think about it" to a much less polite "See ya, Sucker!"

Trails of Cold Steel III

• Rean's "Unspeakable" (free) DLC costume has to be seen to be believed. The overall style is somewhere between mid-2000s Final Fantasy and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure but with the "ridiculous edginess" dial turned all the way to 11. The item description calls it "A vestige of Rean's impressionable younger years. Wearing it will (not) unleash the dark power within you."
• Some of the victory quotes are still just as funny as the first two games.
  • Jusis and Millium's are still just as hilarious as the first two games:
  Millium: Let's go! Here, a victory hug! (stretches her hands to receive a hug from Jusis)
  Jusis: (arms folded) Hmph, who would want to do that?^note In the English translation, a flat "I refuse!"
  • Rean's and Musse's has Musse teasingly approach Rean with Rean slowly backing away from her. He actually appears to be shuddering slightly.
  Musse: *giggles* We were so in sync there.
  Rean: Ye-yeah, I suppose.
  • Olivert really wants to be called big brother:
  Olivert: Tita, could you please call me big brother?
  Tita: C'mon, don't you have a little sister?
  • Millium and Altina^note Unique to the English-language version, as Millium doesn't use those nicknames in the original Japanese.
  Millium: We did it! Good job, Tilly and Sammy!
  Altina: Please stop using those names.
  • Agate recalls the good times with Prince Olivert...
  Agate: This really takes me back, pervy prince.
  Olivert: I knew you missed me.
• The cooking sound clips, Part III: Revenge of the Cooking
  Laura (failure): "Uh... interesting..."
  Gaius (failure): "Erhm... it was... the wind's fault!"
  Juna (failure): "I, uh... what?
• The Running Gag of everyone constantly bringing up the time Altina kidnapped Elise.
• Another Running Gag is Rean constantly meeting old school mates everywhere and his students reacting to it, often in an exasperated way. Especially noteworthy when it's Old Class VII members who all seem to be extra special.
• One of the book series for this game is "The Life of Tomatonio", a story about a young tomato who wants to group up to be a delicious, juicy tomato and be eaten. It's exactly as ridiculous as it sounds.
• Musse being unable to say five sentences without one of them being flirty towards Rean. Especially the other students' reactions, developping from annoyance to flatout indifference.
• In the English-language version at least, anytime you send a radio story to Munk. His voice actor makes him sound super-shady and he's like "What's up, Rean? Give me the dirt." And then once the report is submitted, he's all "That's good stuff, Rean. I'll send you your reward."
• Speaking of radio, Rean's reaction when he hears Misty is back doing Abend Time again is funny. His shock is justified considering all that went down in the previous two games.
• During Rean's first exercise with the new Class VII members of Thors II, a trap door opens up beneath them which leads to a certain incident repeating itself, this time between Kurt and Juna.◊ Unlike last time however, Kurt just let Juna deliver the slap right away to get it over with. Meanwhile, Rean can only grimace in slight nostalgia.
  • The first of many running gags of Rean unable to summon Valimar is when Schmidt outright denies Rean summoning Valimar, claiming the magic knight is a test for the new class and it wouldn't be a test if Rean just summons Valimar and call it good.
• The beginning of the prologue starts off with Patrick giving Rean a handshake to say their goodbyes and then Patrick starts wanting to know about Elise when Rean cuts him off right away. Yes, Rean's still very protective to his sister as always.
  • When Rean arrives at Leeves and takes in the atmosphere, someone calls out for him and Rean has to look for the source of the voice. It takes Rean a good few seconds to find the source of the voice because it turns out that the source of the voice is at a lower elevation than he is. Yes, the game still makes fun of Towa's size.
• During the period where the students are still trying to find clubs, Aurelia figures that Rean would make a good student council advisor when she heard that Rean used to assist Towa. Rean for his part really doesn't want to be one.
• Students' and instructors' rooms all have their unique personal touches in terms of decor, such as Randolph's room containing a jukebox and a pin-up poster. The one thing unique about Towa's room is...a ladder.
• Anytime Altina talks about the events of the last game and her relationship with Rean, which usually results in Juna and Kurt shocked by her story as said stories often make Rean look like an indecent person.
• In one of her bonding events, Rean tells Altina that he thinks he liked the Black Rabbit outfit that she wore before better than the one she's wearing now.
  Altina: Are you saying you prefer seeing me wearing rabbit ears, Instructor? I feel as though I should report such comments to the proper authorities.
• Shirley delivers a Skinship Grope to Duvalie which floors the latter and starts crying to her mom and then to her master. It really must be seen to be believed.
• Chapter 1 has yet another Olaf-trying-to-hug-Elliot scene. It doubles with awesome since this time Elliot effortlessly dodges his father's attempt. Neithardt's reaction? Facepalming in the background as usual.
• At the end of chapter 1, Rean berates his students for disobeying his orders of staying put at the train and deciding to fight alongside Rean and the old Class VII when Laura, Fie, and Elliot remind Rean that they did exactly just that at the climax of Cold Steel I back when they were students. It was even more risky for them as 10 students were going up against two Humongous Mecha on foot without Valimar at the time and was only saved because Rean finally managed to make contact with Valimar.
• During Millium's bonding event where both her and Rean spy on Claire on a date with her "boyfriend". When it turns out it was a secret operation for Claire to arrest the guy, he reveals he had bodyguards waiting to ambush her... cut to the two bodyguards being pinned by Rean and Lammy. Rean notes that Millium really cares for Claire and Altina like sisters a little too much. Millium on the other hand notes that Rean doesn't have any grounds to stand on that subject matter.
• For her pre-bonding event, Laura sends Rean an all caps lock message and that it took her an hour to send the message because she found it really hard to use. She also labels it with "Abstract" and "Postcript," as if she's writing a letter. Rean's response is that Laura at least tried.
• Juna's little sister not bothering with names and calling Kurt and Machias "Pretty boy" and "weird old glasses guy". Both lower their head in shame and repeat their new nickname moments after. Even more painful for Machias considering she said that both Emma and Alisa are really pretty, and the fact that Machias was 18 or 19 at the time.
• Rean delivering the biggest rejection to Musse having her arms around Rean's left arm by pulling his hand out hard enough that it sends Musse nearly falling.
• During Chapter 2, after witnessing Rean's rather intimate reunion with Alisa, Juna and the others end up wondering what kind of relationship he has with her. It eventually leads to this conversation.
  Altina: Such a passionate embrace in front of your students... Regardless of who it was, you have no excuse, Instructor Rean.
  Sharon: Heehee, please don't blame Master Rean. Lady Alisa has grown into such a beautiful woman that a hug from her would be fatal for any man ♥.
  Rean: What, no, I wasn't thinking about that at all— *Beat* Er, well, maybe...
  Juna: He corrected himself! I heard it!
  Altina: He let it slip.
• After Emma meets up with Class VII, they adjourn to rest and talk at a shack owned by the Imperial Fishing Club. While there, Kenneth (the fishing fanatic from the first Cold Steel game) presents Celine with a freshly caught fish that's larger than she is. The party's return to Crossbell is delayed by Celine abandoning her dignity and pretense of being more than just a cat while she stuffs her face.
  Celine: I-I don't need something like that at all! Hmph, don't treat me like I'm some starving stray or ... or ... something ... *slurp* Myaa♥.
• During Olivier's excursions with the party, he goes whole hog on his Large Ham tendencies, abandoning even the slightest pretext of royal dignity. The voice clips seal the deal.
  Olivier (filling action gauge): My heart is full of love!
  Olivier (chain battle enemy reinforcements): They're clearly here to see me!
  Olivier (showering): The warmth is spreading through my whole body!
• Celine is granted permission to live with Rean in Leeves and clearance to be herself and talk, so long as nobody outside of the village finds out her secret...
  Towa: Just make sure you don't let any visitors catch you talking, okay, Celine?
  Celine: Yeah, yeah. I know that. I've been hiding myself with Emma for years now. I wouldn't make such an amateurish—
  Young Man's Voice: Holy crap! A talking cat?!^note It's actually George, messing with them.
  Celine: M-Meooow...?!
• Jusis and Millium meet up for the first time in awhile and Millium greets Jusis as usual by tackling him and Jusis side stepping as usual. Then Millium gets the idea of summoning Airgetlam and Jusis realizes too late that Lammy was a distraction. It ends with him getting Millium's entire body on his face.
• At Bryonia Island, Ines and Ennea see McBurn and Duvalie together and wonder if they're an item now. Duvalie very much denies it strongly, demanding who would even see a lazy guy like McBurn as hot. Then McBurn starts teasing Duvalie that maybe the Ashen kid is more of her type. Duvalie loudly declares that the kid isn't her type as well.
  • After this, Arianrhod appears and we finally get to witness Duvalie's fangirlism in front of her master. One notable example includes when Mcburn tells Arianrhod to open her helmet and feel the night breeze instead of sweltering inside it, Duvalie screams "MCBURN! YOU'RE BEING RUDE TO MASTER!" in a very over-the-top expression.
• While visiting St. Astraia on a whim, Rean and his students find out that Rean has loads of fangirls with Elise trying to stop them.
  • Right before this, Ash decides to make a comment about how easy it would be to sweet talk some of the girls there. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of including Elise. Right in front of Rean. Cue Rean 'calmly' asking Ash to repeat himself while apparently gripping the poor guy's shoulder hard enough to cut off circulation.
  • For added hilarity, the above scene is one of the few times you see Ash completely lose his composure. His voice even cracks a little.
• At the start of chapter 3, Sara finally confronts Rutger Clausell in a tense moment. After the latter leaves the area, Sara who is all alone, starts trying to justify her Old Maid status and then starts having the hots for Rutger for being an old man. Never change Sara.
• During the meeting discussing where the Thor's branch campus is going for their field study, Principal Le Guin talks about her history and how she "became a lapdog of the government." Randy asks if that's really she should blurt out like that and Major Michael suggests that she should keep her... commentary to herself. A bit later on, she talks about how the main campus is now starting branch exercises too on Prince Cedric's orders and Rean wonders if they'll also be using a special train. Randy comments "One word from a prince's mouth and bam... that's a tyrannical empire for ya."
  Major Michael: First, this is confidential information! Second, we are getting off track!
• During chapter 3, talking to Maya, Louise, and Tatiana at the bakery shop on Leeves has the the former two admit that they have converted to that side after reading the book Musse and Tatiana lent to both Maya and Louise. Rean, in his head, wonders just how far the yaoi fangirl train will go.
• When the party arrives at Raquel for the first time, Ash invites Kurt as soon as they finish their assignments to go a "drink-hit-one night stand" with Kurt refusing him. When Altina asks what that means, Juna thinks she has an answer, believing that "hit" is a gaming term (referring to the casinos) and before she can finish what she believes a "one night stand" is, Musse has to properly explain it to them.
• Angelica meets Tita and, of course, tries to flirt with her. After the group settles Angelica down, Tita says that she thought her name sounded familiar and that George has mentioned her a few times.
  Angelica: Oh? What did he say? Perhaps something like 'Angie's a wonderful woman of inestimable character who you can, nay, SHOULD happily offer your body to'?
  Tita: Umm... 'If you ever visit the empire, beware a woman named Angelica who dresses like a man and flirts with any girl with a pulse.'
  Angelica: (screen shake) DAMN YOU, GEORGE!
  Sara: Sounds about right.
  • Even better when you realize that she normally introduces herself as "Towa's special one" or something of the sort. This time, she introduces herself as Towa's friend. Maybe she actually did develop Love at First Sight.
• When Rean, Sara and Angelica are gathering information about jaeger corps in the area, one of the leads is an escort. She will happily greet Rean… only to find out that "he already has two". She just assumed Sara and Angelica are escorts.
• In case the player hasn't yet picked up on the fact that flirting is second nature to Angelica, at one point she flirts with Valimar.
• While Rean, Sara, and Angelica are chasing a guy who gave them false info, they go through a couple's house and Angelica stops and winks at the woman. Said woman starts blushing with the guy complaining that his girl is almost taken away from him!
  • How did he even get away from them? He starts claiming there's a beautiful naked woman right behind them with both Rean and Sara just barely turning their head while Angelica does a full 180 to look.
  • How did they and Claire get the info to know where to go next? Money? New intel? No, it turns out that Miguel (the informant) wants to be stepped on by the three ladies. All three were creeped out though Angelica quips that Miguel would have been even more willing if Claire showed up in her RMP uniform.
  • Becomes a Brick Joke later when, during Ouroboros' attack at the end of the chapter, you can find Miguel lying in one of the backstreets, having been stepped on by two girls fleeing in panic.
• When the party meets up with Zephyr and they want information, Rutger tells them if they want information, they'll have to beat it out of him. But because they're in a civilian area, he decides to make it less violent. The line up is Rean VS Rutger, Sara VS Xeno, and Claire VS Leo. Said game? Vantage Masters. Yes, 6 adults are settling it on a children's card game in a casino. Halfway through, Sara and Claire switch for Ash and Musse respectively because they both suck at the game.
  • After the game is over and they get their information, the adults thank the kids for helping them out. Then Rean asks the obvious question as to what are the minors doing inside the casino. Ash responds with an innocent whistle while everyone tries justifying it. As for Juna, she starts making an excuse before stopping herself partway and saying "No, we're just as guilty."
• When Class VII visits Bryonia Island, Rean meets up with Roselia again while clutching his heart from his powers going out of control. Then Rose bites him to calm Rean down. Later on, Musse notices that Rean has a bite mark on his neck where Rose bit him at, making the entire thing real for Rean while Ash muses that Rean had one hell of a crazy night the previous day since both Sara and Claire kissed him on his cheeks on two separate occasions on the same night.
• When infiltrating Juno Fortress, Group A notices how much rubble there is lying around and wonders if the fort could collapse on them. Aurelia says she has faith in the architects who built the place, to which Sara, in her usual fashion, replies that she doesn't fancy putting her life in the hands of some dead guy.
• When the A Team has to crawl through the vent for the first time, Aurelia manages to be impressed by the fact that they can even use it. Then she starts complaining that her chest hurts from crawling and wonders why she didn't just blow through the wall instead. The fact that the game railroads players to crawl through it despite the gap needed to go to the party's destination isn't even that big and can be jumped by anyone in the party is even more hilarious.
  • The B Team meanwhile has a Call-Back from the first game where the party has to climb up the ladder with Angelica commenting on seeing Juna's underwear. Juna, Musse, and Ash have a thing or two to say about it.
• During a bonding event with Musse in chapter 4, both Rean and Musse play some Vantage Masters and the loser has to do something for the winner. Rean wins, but doesn't actually want Musse to do anything. Musse then decides a lady can never go back on her word and makes Rean draw one of two card, which will decide her punishment: one ends with Musse scrubbing Rean's back in the bathroom and the other ends with Rean's head on Musse's lap while she cleans his ears. Both times, Rean looks very uncomfortable.
• It's funny to see Emma berating Roselia as without context, Emma looks like she's scolding a child, never mind that said "child" is centuries older than her and is also her grandmother.
• (For those who don't find it Squicky) Agate and Tita's relationship being teased by nearly everyone in the cast with Agate firmly denying that he only sees her as a younger sister. Tita meanwhile keeps blushing at it.
• Anytime Rean uses his Hyper-Awareness senses to call out his students attempting to spy on him, only for them to fail can be one of these.
• Before boarding the train for the Chapter 4 exercises, Principal Le Guin casually reveals some extremely classified information to the assembled students and support staff. Michael's reaction reveals how much he's aged in just a few months of working under her...
  Randy: Sorry, man...Must be rough.
  Michael: (resigned tone) I've...already given up.
• It's not noticeable on a first playthrough but at the RMP office at Heimdallr in chapter 4, Cedric wonders who Rean will dance at Alfin's party for her debut in society. Osborne then advise Rean that he should just "follow his heart and damn the consequences." This doesn't sound funny on its own but after Osborne reveals to Rean much later in the game that he transplanted his own heart to Rean to save his life, suddenly the line becomes a Gallows Humor.
• During Chapter 4, Rean and his students end up taking on a request from Saint Astraia's where they discover that a few noblemen had been harassing the students. Rean asks Elise if she had been a victim, and after confirming it he gleefully says that he'll take care of the problem by catching the perpetrators himself. He even muses on using Valimar to threaten them. Juna calls him out on it as she and other students and wisely decide to handle it themselves, even though Ash kind of likes this version of Rean.
  • When Elise says that one of them grabbed her arm and stroked her cheek a little, he has this to say...
  Rean: Ah, okay then. The only suitable punishment for that is D E A T H.
  • This doesn't stop Rean however. When it looks like the nobleman is about to get away in a car, Rean appears and uses Arcane Gale ^note (the upgraded version of his basic Gale craft, which he can normally only use in his Super Mode) to completely wreck the vehicle before giving off a silent Death Glare at the nobleman. The latter appropriately freaks out when he realizes that he's face to face with the Ashen Chevalier.
• During Chapter 4 Rean and his students together with Towa end up visiting the latter's house in Heimdallr. After being greeted and having dinner with her family, a conversation about Towa quickly evolves into her aunt Martha and uncle Fred being convinced that Rean is their niece's boyfriend and start assuming what kind family they'll have. Rean sweat drops while Towa quite obviously embarrassed by the whole situation.
  • After Towa gives Rean a photo album of Class VII while the two of them are alone in her room, Rean addresses the New Class VII who had been eavesdropping in the hall, with Ash complaining about his person sensing ability.
• Before Rean talks to General Craig in Chapter 4, he mentions that Fiona and Neithardt are officially dating now, and that while Neithardt is a fine man, he's still not sure if he's good enough for her. Rean internally wonders if this is how he's like with Elise.
• In a late game quest, Lechter asks Rean to help him look for a Calvard jaeger spy at the Heimdallr catacombs and Lechter tells Rean to go call for help. Rean decides not to call both the old and new Class VII, figuring that they might need the rest, so he calls for anyone who's willing to help. The ones who answer the call? Sara, Claire, Sharon, Tita, Tio, Agate, Olivert in his Olivier costume, Randy, Toval, and Patrick. Both Rean and Lechter think the line-up is a bit overkill.
  • Later on during the mission Ash ends up joining. He tells Rean that he's willing to tag in should any of them need a break, especially the adults since they need to watch their stamina because of their age. To reiterate, Ash basically calls them old straight to their faces. Sara, Sharon, Claire, and Agate were not amused.
• A conversation at the palace party reveals that Aurelia went to Thors, and her time there was just as absurd as you'd expect. She joined the fencing club and "declared war" on all the other clubs, challenging each to their own games (e.g the chess club to chess) and making them join the fencing club when they lost. In the end, the only one left "opposing" her was Wallace Bardias, and the two fought a jousting match that lasted for hours, eventually ending in a draw when they both unhorsed each other simultaneously. He's been both her closest ally and arch-rival ever since. (Which Rean can relate to, having seen Laura and Fie go through something similar.)
• Some of Class VII's comments when Rean is forced by Cedric to be Princess Alfin's first dance partner.
  Laura: He shall be the Princess' first.
  Fie: Sounds dirty when you put it like that.
• During Thomas' Infodump on the history of Crimson Roselia and the Church, when he mentions she was the ancestor of all vampires, Roselia briefly flashes her Cute Little Fangs, as if to say "Yep, it's true."
• Before Class VII's final assault towards the Gral of Erebos, Tita does wonder why Schera isn't with Agate, with Agate telling her that Schera told him to go to where Tita is. Randy, Tio, and Fie then proceed to tease the two of them. In the Japanese version, all three of them whistle at the two while in the English dub:
  Randy: "Agate and Tita..."
  Tio: "...sitting in a tree..."
  Fie: "K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
  Agate: *while Tita is blushing in the background* "Shut the hell up!"
• Campanella and Duvalie's reaction when Thomas and Roselia open up the barrier and Valimar goes through it while opening the Spirit Path is hilarious to see. Especially for Campanella the biggest troll of the series getting trolled.
• For the final Einhel Keep trial, the Class VII students ask to do the trial without Rean, who ends up assisting remotely from the control center. At one point, the students encounter a ladder and Rean tells them "You can jump down the ladder, but don't injure yourself in the process."
  Juna: Okay, DAD.

Trails of Cold Steel IV

• Emma actively making Roselia eat her vegetables with Rose not wanting any of it. Rose even makes the ">_<" face that Millium does.
• Crow picks on Duvalie about figuring out who she has a crush on. Then when Duvalie angrily wonders why everyone thinks that she's a simple-minded person, Crow bluntly states that it's because she's one. Duvalie ends up even more irritated.
• In an active time event at the Geofront, Juna encounters an air duct and just plainly gives up on complaining that they have to travel through it.
  • Ash later complains that the Geofront's architect must have been "drunk off their ass" to design such an unsafe, maze-like mess beneath the city, while Machias and/or Jusis (if either's in the party) blame it on rapid urban expansion preventing them from thinking the design through.
• While the party plus Jona and Sully are escaping from Heiyue in the Crossbell Geofront, the latter two trip, with Sully hurting her feet while Jona doesn't have any stamina to begin with. Kurt and Ash's solution is for Kurt to Bridal Carry Sully while Ash hoists up Jona and carries him like baggage.
• After installing the seven magical devices for the purpose of detecting Rean and Celine's whereabouts, Rose tells the people that it might take them several days to do it only for KeA and Renne to chime in that they could probably do it faster through their analysis. Rose calls out the two of them being "cheaters" then Renne wonders if Rose really is 800 years old with Ash chiming in that she doesn't act like it.
  • KeA casually calling Rose by name with Rose complaining about the lack of dignity and not calling her more elderly self.
• The Running Gag of no one recognizing who Celine due to herself becoming a Cat Girl instead of her normal cat self during the Black Workshop segment. Made even funnier when Rean recognizes her immediately after seeing her for the first time upon getting his senses back.
  • Before fighting Osborne and Arianrhod, Ash calls the legendary Lance Maiden "Granny". Juna berates him for being rude while Duvalie, despite siding with the heroes, loses her composure and threatens to kill him.
  Duvalie: Say that again and I'll have your head, punk!!
• Angelica keeping her... enthusiasm with female party members even while being brainwashed, to the point of Fie asking why Crow changed so much when he was Siegfried but Angelica kept her personality intact. One would guess the Black Workshop wasn't strong enough to seal away her libido.
  • And she does it again when the party tries to rescue Towa.
    Towa: Angie?! Are you OK?!
• One of Juna's bonding events has her do a study session (coming up with a practical method to set Crossbell up as an independent state) with Rean. All is going well until one Gilligan Cut later when suddenly a number of people from the both Old and New Class VII end up joining them. Poor Juna looks so overwhelmed by the amount of attention.
• The reunion of Tita with Agate and Alfin with Rean should fall into Heartwarming, until Altina chimes in.
  Altina: The lovey-dovey energy filling this room will soon reach dangerous levels. Further exposure is bound to induce vomiting.
• If Angelica is there, then she feels the need to put in her two mira too:
  Angelica: Oh, c'mon. I helped fight, too! Don't I deserve a sweet reward of my own?
• During an intermission in-between chapters, Angelica encounters Tita, Renne, and KeA. Naturally, being the Cuddle Bug with a Cuteness Proximity that she is, she goes in for a group bear hug. Even better is that while Tita is panicking and Renne is in utter disbelief, KeA is more than happy to return the hug.
• Fie asks Estelle the all-important question of how far she and Joshua have progressed in their relationship, with Sara, Josette, and Tita also becoming interested. Estelle meanwhile is reduced to a blushing mess. Later, after the Liberl gang reunites with Kloe and Cassius, Estelle can be seen shooting a glance towards Joshua as he strikes up a conversation with Josette and Kloe, which Renne immediately takes note of. Even after several years, some things never change...
• Another moment is when Rean's group first arrives aboard the Pantagruel. When Juna asks Rean about his time aboard the ship during Cold Steel II, Altina makes a comment about the time Rean walked into her room uninvited and while she was asleep, resulting in a sweat drop from Rean as everyone looks at him questioningly, with Alisa and Elise looking less than amused.
  • This is then followed up by Alfin making mention of Rean's daring rescue of her which Crow confirms when he chimes in. Duvalie also makes mention of Rean walking into her room unannounced as well. Rean's reaction to his reputation being comically dragged through the mud? A Face Palm and these words:
  Rean: Instructor Sara, Towa. Requesting permission to burst in to tears.
  Sara: Permission denied.
• While both parties are trying to reach the deck, both parties come across the corridor where Rean and Alfin encountered Xeno, Leo, and Altina and ran past them in Cold Steel II. While the boys side were praising Rean for that daring escape, the girls started to pity Altina since she tried and failed to stop Rean.
  • The small chats that happened in said corridor. The group with the men kept teasing Rean about that situation, with Lloyd laughing a lot at his embarassment. Meanwhile, the girls got a very interesting image of Rean's character while he was away.
    Tio: What a creep.
    Estelle: (in a mocking tone) He's beyond despicable! How could he do that to such a precious, innocent, young girl?!
    Elie: Now, now, everyone... Don't tease him like that.
    Renne: Oh, he's pretty popular. It's fine if we make fun of him a little.
    Duvalie: Hmph. He brought this upon himself.
• After once again beating the crap out of Gilbert, you can examine the wreck of his G-Apache...
  Gilbert: (unconscious) Mnngh...Kneel before me, weaklings...Zzz
  Estelle: Aw. He's dreaming of not being pathetic.
• During Altina's bonding event where a select group is investigating the Black Workshop, Randy and Duvalie pair up to investigate the S-Weapons where Randy and Shirley got their Berserga and Testa-Rossa respectively, and Randy ends up calling Duvalie "Duvaline" with Duvalie telling him to stop it.
• In Fie's second bonding event after Rutger passes on, all of the former and current jaegers stop by and pay respects to his grave. But when the adults all start drinking and smoking, Shirley wishes she could do the same. Garreth, Sara, and Randy all tell her to knock that off as Sigmund wouldn't approve of it because she's still a minor. Rean ends up musing that Sigmund must be a strict father despite the fact that he lets her run around as a jaeger.
• One silly bit with side characters: While all of St Ursula's is preparing for the Emperor's big operation, a nurse is panicking because she's going to be the senior nurse in charge of the wards while the operation is going on. So she asks herself what Cecile, the normal senior nurse would do. Her answer? Try to find her honorary little brother Lloyd a girlfriend.
• The situation surrounding the night before the final battle, in which the party decides to stay the night over at, of all places, Mishelam. Let that thought sink in: the world is about to end, the villains are rallying the populaces, and meanwhile our heroes are...relaxing at an amusement park. Highlights include:
  • Tio can be found watching a live show of Mishy with a group of kids well below her age. As per usual, she's enjoying every single moment of it.
  • Sara sends Rean on a quest to gather as many adult females as he can so they can all partake in a drinking contest. Yes, including the likes of Sharon, Schera, Duvalie, Roselia, and Aurelia. Hilarity Ensues. We also get an answer to the age-old question of who would win in a drinking contest between Schera and Sara. It's Schera.
  • The conclusion of said contest. The staff of Mishelam had to tell Rean they didn't have enough sake for that and asked them to stop. Everyone had to deal with a draw between Aurelia, Sharon and Edel. Yes, Edel was one of the winners.
  • The reunion between the four senpais of Thors. It starts with Angelica giving a lecture to both George and Crow for "doing whatever they want". However, Towa says that Angelica shouldn't feel like she is in the right either because she was searching for information alone and ended up being shot and brainwashed. The funny part is that Towa is completely drunk, to the point that even Crow and George are afraid of going against her.
    Angelica: T-Towa...? Are you angry at me?
    [the screen turns black and white for a second]
    Towa: Hahaha, no, of course not... I'm not angry at all. Not even a little.
  • Major Irving and Toval are bonding over a shared love of quietly sipping quality booze when a happily drunk Father Thomas butts in...
    Father Thomas: Now, which of you gentlemen gets the pleasure of sitting next to me?
    Major Irving and Toval, simultaneously: Him.
• Some of the Active conversations during the Salt Pale dungeons end up being hilarious:
  • Team B has Randy noting that the enemies they've fought in the dungeon are nothing compared to the time they had to fight against his uncle Sigmund, with Tio commenting that they're going to look inferior compared to Randy's uncle.
  • Team C has Angelica up to her usual antics by trying to glomp both Sharon and Roselia while George has to play the straight man to his friend.
  • Team D has the Stahlritter noting that Arianrhod would have just one-shotted them all with the Zephyr jaegers being impressed. Then Innes ends up being bored with all the seriousness going on and Ennea ends up wondering how far Duvalie has gone with Rean with Duvalie denying it hardly while the rest of the team sees just how much Duvalie cares for Rean.
  • Team E has Toval noting that their team's boss fight is gonna be a hard one, even hyping up at its technological prowess. Aurelia, Victor, and Vita meanwhile aren't as impressed and are actually disappointed at how weak it is. Toval notes in his head that he drew the short end of the stick and is teaming up with three monsters.
• During the assault of the final dungeon, the Courageous II fires its main cannon and hits Gilbert's ship but not fatally. Gilbert notes that his debut is cut short and this is what he had to say:
  Gilbert: I'll Be Back!
• Gilbert's pathetic Craft, IN 3D! And if Ebon Crest happens to be up...
• When the party steps into the final dungeon, Rean's about to start his Rousing Speech when Crow stops him and tells him that they're doing that speech instead.
• Juna essentially breaking down every single scene and interaction with the members of Ouroborous, for the entire trails series, in one sentence.
  Juna: Knowing them, they're just gonna get in our way, say something vague, and then vanish.
• After fighting McBurn for the final time and him remembering who he is, he immediately regresses back to his human form, stops the fighting, and apologizes to the party for the trouble he caused. It causes the party to have a Stunned Silence before Ash lets out a Big "WHAT?!".
• Just before the party opens the door before the Final Boss, the party finally starts wondering why Sara is considered as a Secondary Contractor to Valimar despite the fact that she didn't attend the trial.
• All the teasing the party made towards Crow before going through the last dungeon. He is ashamed of his past as Siegfried, being brainwashed and all, but he says, quite offended at the teasing, that his past as C had aesthetic. Apparently being the leader of a terrorist organization can be considered a bad phase for his friends now.
  • This actually became a Running Gag. From Rutger calling him accidentaly "Sieg" and Crow asking for him to not call him that, to even small scenes like when the cast had their reunion aboard the Pantagruel:
    Crow, in a group with Randy, Fie, and Joshua: Damn! The Reaper, Sylphid, and Black Fang! What a gang!
    Rean: And rounding out that colorful cast is none other than Azure Siegfried.
    Crow: ... Dude, can't you get off my back about that?
  • The party teases Crow at least a couple of times for the outfit he wore as Siegfried. In return, he points out that it certainly wasn't his idea, given that he was brainwashed at the time.
    Crow: Look, I didn't choose that tacky-ass getup. It ain't my style at all.
• According to The Reveal flashback at the Luna Mirror, apparently Osborne was just as clueless around women as Rean is, and this is said by Kasia herself, who hopes that their son doesn't become a guy who's Oblivious to Love. Like father, like son.
• This little exchange between Sara and Altina...
  Sara: *sigh* Youth truly is fleeting... But I'm only 27! I'm still a spring chicken!
  Altina: And a headless one at that.
• Using Rush with Machias and Jusis...
  Machias: Don't lag behind!
  Jusis: Don't give me orders!

or...

Jusis: Don't slow me down!

Machias: Shut up!

• Most characters, upon getting healed, will thank the healer in question (though Jusis and Machias just snark at each other as usual). Duvalie, on the other hand...

  Duvalie: I can manage without your help!

• Once again, a return of the cooking quotes!
  Altina (start cooking): Initiate cooking mode.
  Crow (failure) : Haha, yeah, this ain't edible.
  Angelica (failure): It's kind of a medley of ... eh ... something.
  Sharon (failure) : Oh dear, now who could have made this?
• If you examine the door to the Merkabah while it is flying, Rean gives this comment:
  Rean: I could use this while we're in the air... but only at great cost.
• When Duvalie confronts her fellow members of the Stahlritter after rescuing Rean from the Black Workshop, she gives a speech explaining her actions, leading to her Ines and Enea complimenting her... sort of.
  Ines: I admire your resolve.
  Enea: *sigh* For our little leader to make such a bold decision... It's like you're growing up right before our eyes.
  Duvalie: Thank you... HEY! Stop acting like I'm some little girl!
• Upon your party entering Raquel, Ash startles the rest of the party by coming up behind them, wearing a dark wig and glasses. He the comments "Better than Schwarzer's disguise, ain't it?" referencing the glasses Rean wore in the previous game, which were fooling pretty much no one when it came to keeping people from recognizing him as the Ashen Chevalier.
• Jingo's "ultimate test" of Cerberus's skills.
  Rean: I'm afraid to ask why you've strapped a parachute to a dog.
  Jingo: Huh? Why? I can't just throw him outta the airship without one!
  Cerberus: Wooof!
  Rean: ...Well, as long as he's happy, I suppose I won't stop you.
• In Milsante, the members of the new Class VII, minus Musse, are outside with one of the members of the old Class VII (either Elliott, Fie, or Sara) who has to step away to get better reception for a call. As they do, everyone's favorite fortune-teller, Beryl, who the new Class VII hasn't meant before, appears and makes a surprisingly knowledgeable prediction. Ash, notoriously wary of anything to do with the occult, expresses skepticism. Just then, the member of the old Class VII steps back over, having seen and heard nothing of what just happened. When the party explains, they will recognize it's most likely Beryl and declare that the prediction is worth following up.
  Ash: My bad– I didn't realise it was National Abandon Your Grip On Sanity Day.
• Cerberus occasionally runs Neinvalli while Jingo is away, a strange arrangement dating back to the Leeves branch and continuing to the Courageous II branch. The bizarreness of this doesn't hit Rean until he witnesses the adorably hilarious scenario of Stark negotiating with the pupper.
  Rean: Wait, am I really watching a business transaction between a man and a dog like it's no big deal? What has my life become?!
• When coming across Mishette in Crossbell, Rean chastises the former for saying something mean about her brother. Juna chimes in by saying that not all sisters act the same as Elise, which Rean interprets as being "wonderful and loving". Naturally, Fie has something to say about this:
  Fie: Wee-woo, wee-woo. Sister complex alert.
• One of the Trial Chest enemies is a gigantic version of the Dong monster that first appeared in Cold Steel III. In the English version, it was named Magnum Dong.^note Brittany Avery, one of the game's localization editors, specifically requested for this change.
• Linked battle quote between Sharon and Sara...
  Sharon: Shall I prepare some tea, in celebration?
  Sara: You wanna thank me? Do it with booze.
• Crow plays Pablo in Vantage Masters, with Pablo's "favorite pin-up magazine" on the line. As Pablo panics that he's going to lose, Rean comments that he's not surprised that this is what Crow is gambling for and Crow says that the way he sees it, it's a valuable learning experience for Pablo. If you talk with them, however, Pablo comments "At this rate, I'm going to lose my favorite train pin-up magazine" and Crow wonders how this is even a thing, begging Pablo to tell him that there's at least some girls in swimsuits in it. Pablo calls him a kidder, saying he's not giving up and Crow best be ready to lose his train mag.
  Rean: You were right, Crow, this WAS a learning experience.
• If you get an "A" or "S" result for a section, you get a positive comment from a character, the particular character varying depending on which part of the game you're in. If, however, your result is "B" or "C" ("C" being the lowest rank, as you always get some AP just for progressing), then you always get a sort of brief snorting laughter from Randy. In other words, you're not even worth a variable comment if you can't be bothered to get a better rank.