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Funny / The Dom Reviews 2016 Episodes

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A Christmas Carol
  • The Dom choking on his attempts to wish his watchers a "Merry Christmas", eventually giving up and going with "Happy New Year."
  • His "paraphrasing" of the Cratchit family's reactions to Christmas-related things.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

  • This time, to be safe, The Dom starts off with the Calm Intellectual Filter already engaged, so as to get all the negativity out of the way. He ends up overloading it.
    The Dom: The trick of balancing accuracy and good screenwriting is of course a very difficult tightrope to walk, and I try not to be too judgmental- (Filter switches off) -I'm gonna take one of the DVDs and stick it so far up his ass...
  • "Much to my personal relief they also got rid of that awful writer Titley, and replaced him with a guy called Marc Guggenheim, best known for oh come on, are you freaking kidding me?"
  • Toward the end, he tries to reengage the Filter:
    The Dom: (bagpipe music plays) Well this is a right plum puddin', an' no mistake!...Wha? Reginald, ya silly bugger, this is nay the Intellectual Filter, it's the Scottish Filter! These are nay people known for their calmness, switch it over ya wee dafty!
  • The next attempts result in the Gollum Filter and the Valley Girl Filter. The Dom just gives up after that.
    The Dom: (valley girl voice) Why do you even have this setting?

The Witches (1990)

  • "Hello again, Roald Dahl, you sociopathic maniac masquerading as a children's book author."
  • "Now, before I start with the comparison, I just need to get a few non-adaption-related things off my chest." (clears throat) "Child acting." (grimace, thumbs-down) "Rowan Atkinson." (big grin, thumbs-up) "Possible cruelty to real animals." (stern head-shake) "Surprisingly effective practical effects." (smile, thumbs-up) "Ah, thanks, I feel much better now."
  • Complaining about the main character being changed from English to American. "You can't ignore my people forever, America!"
  • "Phase 2 of their plan involved an army of cats, so it's automatically the best plan ever."
  • The Dom predicts there will be a reboot of the movie at some point, "filled with CGI mice and uncomfortably-sexy witches."
    • "Make a note of this now, marvel at my precognitive powers later. Goodbye beautiful watchers." (turns to one of the sexy witches) "Hey baby, how you doin'?"

Eragon

  • In the "Beginner's Guide" video, The Dom gives a quick overview of the plot...without using any specific names. Told in this fashion the story sounds a tiny bit similar to a certain other story...
    The Dom: This is the book equivalent of a student downloading an essay off the internet and thinking that using the word-replacement tool will be enough to fool his teacher!
  • "[The filmmakers] also haven't quite caught on to the fact that sticking your actor in front of a green screen and pointing a hair dryer in his general direction isn't in any way convincing to the audience."
    The Dom: (in front of a green screen) I'm genuinely invested in what's happening around meeeee...
  • "They made Eragon's life with his uncle much more two-dimensionally happy in the film, which only served to more clearly paint a big old 'I'm so fucking dead' message on his forehead."
  • Dragon sex-ed videos:
    "You're going to be noticing some changes to your body soon. Don't worry, this is perfectly normal and it will only last a few seconds, then you will be a full-fledged adult and able to go about your day."
  • The Dom declares that he's going to take the high road regarding Jeremy Irons's presence in the film...but eventually can't resist allowing himself one reference.
  • Realizing that there could be potential problems with the Elvish language being impossible to lie in:
    Dress-wearing elf (in Elvish): Does this top make me look like a fat man in drag?
    Other elf: ...No, baby! You, uh, you look great!
    Dress-wearing elf (in Elvish): (suspicious) ...Why did you say that in English?

The Hunt for Red October

  • Pointing out the Spoof Aesop of how all but one character in both book and film was a chain smoker, and the one who wasn't picked up the habit by the end. "Hey kids, don't they look cool? Yeah, they look cool. Don't you want to look cool?"
  • "Clancy actually wrote in a reference to the true story that inspired the book in the book, which I think should have caused a meta-paradox and destroyed his universe...but, that might just be me."
  • The Dom mentioning about something fairly important in the book whose omission in the film rather annoyed him, but he just can't quite remember what it was...all the while "Rule, Britannia!" starts playing and building up in the background.
    The Dom: America, you have to learn to share the credit. For stuff real, and fictional.
  • "I also feel I have to mention that despite Clancy's apparent belief, no one in Britain has said the words "jolly good" since the nineteen-fifties!"

Coraline

  • The Dom happily describing the young British lead character and how her house is near London...then cutting to the very American-accented film Coraline saying that she's from Pontiac, Michigan.
    The Dom: (long beat; then sighs)
    ("TIMES THAT THE AMERICANS HAVE STOLEN OR WRITTEN OUT BRITISH CHARACTERS: 3")
    The Dom: Yeah that's right, I'm keeping score now.
  • Actually preferring how the film had the Other Mother's creepiness build up over time instead of her being inhuman from the start, as in the latter case "WHY THE FUCK DID CORALINE TRUST HER AT ALL, THEN?!"
    Other Mother: Hello dear, I'm your Other Mother—
    The Dom: (screams, pulls out a gun and shoots until she falls to the floor, pulls out a second gun when the first runs out of bullets, then runs away, still screaming)
    Other Mother: (painfully raises hand)
    The Dom: (burns her with a flamethrower, still screaming)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

  • The image accompanying The Dom's theorizing that Suzanne Collins was "hovering over" Lionsgate in spirit even if she wasn't technically involved in writing the screenplay.
  • When The Dom spots what is presumably supposed to be the film's version of an Avox, he panics and exclaims that David Lynch has sent the "freaky doctors" from Dune after him. "Run, Jennifer Lawrence, save yourself!"
  • Describing the first Quarter Quell, where the District citizens had to vote on who to send as tributes, as "brown trouser time for the assholes in the community, I would imagine." The scenario being acted out by a crowd of Dom clones.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

  • The little skit demonstrating The Dom's criticism of film Katniss always pulling her bow back long before she shoots, one of the potential explanations being that "the draw weight on all of her bows has been so laughable her arrows should have been bouncing off of anyone wearing thick clothing."
    • Continuing during the end segment where the weak arrows continually annoy The Dom as he tries to plug his Patreon.
  • Ultimately, he deems the film good enough to have "a decent chance of being allowed to hang with the cool kids [the first two films] in the Hunger Games school reunion."

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

  • When he discusses his feelings on the book's ending, the line "I don't like feeling depressed. I like feeling happy. And, situation-appropriate, slightly aroused," coincides with a clip of Tigris from the film.
    THE DOM WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THAT THAT WAS A JOKE AND THAT HE IS NOT A FURRY
  • The first time he read the book ending he shouted "Oh, COME ON!"...while in a veterinarian waiting room.
    The Dom: Do you have ANY idea what it's like to receive an accusatory stare from seventeen startled puppies?
  • Casually referring to Lyme as "Brienne of Tarth".
  • The skit of President Snow's meal guests awkwardly trying to ignore the guy Snow poisoned before everyone started eating.
  • "At this point you might be wondering: 'Well then The Dom, you gorgeous example of sexy manhood, seeing as the book's ending depressed you so much, does that mean you like the ending of the film better?' To which my obvious response is: (struggling) I...don't know!!"
    • "RRRR, brain pain! You broke me with that little smile, Jennifer Lawrence, I hope you're happy!"
  • The alternate universe where Katniss was played by Helena Bonham Carter.
  • "I sure am glad there's nothing much, much longer, more popular, and way more time-consuming looming on the near horizon. That would just completely push me over the deep endwwwhat are you staring at?" (Hedwig's Theme starts playing)
    • "OH, FUCK ME!"

Dagon

  • The Dom getting booed by Lovecraft fans over his attempts to pronounce "Cthulhu". "You know what, I'm not supposed to be able to pronounce it, I don't have the right organs!"
  • Summarizing the film protagonist's vague occupation as, "a science computer man doing smart stuff."
  • "Two things that feature quite heavily in the film that have no basis in the book whatsoever, are boobies."
  • "Until next time, my very beautiful watchers, peace and love!...craft. I'm funny."

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

  • Countering people telling him that the child actors got better in future movies by pointing out that that fact doesn't help his annoyance with them in the first one, where each "is just a kid who can't act!" regardless of Daniel Radcliffe going on into a respectable acting career, Emma Watson becoming an inspiring feminist icon, or Rupert Grint going on to...own an ice cream truck.
  • "The impression I get when I'm watching this film is that I've somehow been roped into going to a school play that my friend's kid is in, only I can't remember which kid is his, so I'm left watching prepubescent strangers squeak their lines and occasionally adopt surprised expressions when they remember they're supposed to be acting!" (long exasperated growl)
    • "Oh, and the CGI really fucking sucks in this film."
  • "No. No, that is not the Bloody Baron."
  • Pointing out that film!Harry straight-up murders Quirrell. "Yer a cold-blooded killer, Harry."
  • Suggesting that the reason the Hogwarts school song never shows up in any other of the books is because the staff finally worked up the nerve to tell Dumbledore that he was the only one who liked it.
  • Film Harry and Dumbledore discussing Nicholas Flamel:
    Harry: Doesn't that mean Flamel will die?
    Dumbledore: Yes, yes he will.
    (long beat)
    Harry: Wow, you really don't give a fuck, do you?
    Dumbledore: He was a prick, I never liked him.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

  • Terrence pointing out how an argument in the film is a bit slow-paced, and how it perhaps should have gone:
    Oliver Wood: Fuck off, we booked the pitch today!
    Draco: We all have new brooms 'cause my dad is awesome and you suck.
    Hermione: You clearly bought your way onto the team, you spoiled yuppie!
    Draco: Shut it, mudblood!
    Ron: AW, HELL NAW!
  • "...as it's established that Hogwarts was founded one thousand years ago, Godric Gryffindor had a really fucking wussy little sword for his era."
  • "Personally I think a spot of muggle-baiting is a fine way to spend the occasional evening, but I do concede the Death Eaters took it a tad too far and ruined it for everyone."
  • Terrence wondering whether Professor Sprout changed her name when she got her job, or if she was forced into her specific teaching position because of her name.
  • "Did anyone else find it slightly fucked-up that [mandrakes] seemed to develop a certain level of self-awareness as they age, but Sprout was still planning to chop them up for potions? ...I rather suspect this should count as a form of murder."
  • Apparently Terrence tried to learn Parseltongue once, but the only sentence he could manage was: "I have a python under my robes."
  • "In the book, drinking the Polyjuice Potion changed your voice as well, because...why fucking wouldn't it, you've assumed this person's vocal chords as well, I assume?"
  • What Harry might have been hearing the basilisk say during the final battle.
  • Why the Weasley parents didn't show up at Hogwarts in the film:
    Molly: Uh, we've just received an urgent message from Hogwarts saying one of our children's been kidnapped by a monster.
    Arthur: Oh! ...Well, we've got six more.
  • The bloopers where Dominic continually drops and breaks Terrence's wand trying to twirl it.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

  • The Dom punching out Terrence and reclaiming his show at the beginning.
  • Pausing immediately after his first mention of Alfonso Cuarón for a quick disclaimer regarding the likelihood of him coming anywhere near being able to pronounce the name correctly for the rest of the episode.
  • The Dom thinking that Harry's tea leaves looked more like a direwolf than a Grim. "THE KING IN THE NORTH!"
  • His impression of Dumbledore being less vague about the time travel plan.
    Dumbledore: [...]and while you're at it, stop me from challenging Hagrid to that drinking competition, because my head is fucking killing me.
  • "[The dementors'] movement is described as being a creepy glide along the ground in the book, not flying around like WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCKITY FUCK is he doing here?! Get him out of my review!"
  • Due to the lack of explanation in the film as to how Lupin and Snape knew to go to the Shrieking Shack, The Dom theorizes that the Shack is just where the teachers always go to get high.
    Flitwick: Look at me, I'm an eagle!
    Snape: Get down from there, Flitwick.
  • "[Harry and Hermione] never end up being swung around by [the Whomping Willow in the book], so you're not left wondering how SHREDDED Hermione must be under that little pink sweater for her to be able to lift Harry off the ground with one arm!"

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

  • Taking a look at what filmwork the new director has under his belt, and being...a bit underwhelmed.
    Terrence: That man's entire career comprised exclusively of the shameless prostitution of awkward British charm.
  • Expressing his disappointment with David Tennant's performance by saying that he seemed "temporarily possessed by the ghost of Nicolas Cage".
  • "Oh come on, lads, it's just a case of whipping out your incredibly bulging biceps and showing off your awesome Ravenclaw tattoo OH WAIT that's just a Terrence thing."
  • Terrence's summary of how things could have gone if Voldemort hadn't insisted on such a convoluted scheme to get Harry to him.
    • "All I'm saying is, this plan probably explains why You-Know-Who wasn't Sorted into Ravenclaw."
  • Wondering if the "orgasmic moaning" in the Beauxbatons students entrance in the film was "just something involuntary that happens to them when they move in groups."
    Blonde Beauxbatons student: Can you believe we have been set this much homework in the first week of term? It is so unfair!
    Both: HHHHHAAAAAAA!
    Redhead student: Perhaps we should complain to Madame Maxime. It is unfair to expect this much from us this soon after all.
    Both: HHHHHAAAAAAA!
    Blonde: Oh, by the way, have you seen how Fleur is doing her hair this year? I was thinking I might be able to pull that off.
    Both: HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA! (butterflies flutter away)
    Blonde: Whoo! Dear me, that was a large one!
  • With the added scene of McGonagall giving the Gryffindors dancing lessons, Terrence wonders if the other Heads of Houses also did this.
    Snape: Malfoy, we're going to dance like nobody's watching.
    Draco: I-I, um...I really don't want to, sir.
  • "Did you learn nothing from Stephen King, Mr. Newell? HEDGES ARE NOT SCARY! (stilted) This should not be something someone has to tell you!"
  • "You know, despite the awful fuss they made about Harry managing to grab a single dragon egg in this film, I've actually been stealing them on the sly for over a year now, and let me tell you, they are just delicious. Seriously, you have not had real scrambled eggs until you've tried Ukrainian Ironbelly with just a pinch of salt-" (dragon ROARS) "...Oh bugger."
  • The "conclusion" of the cliffhanger from Part 1 at the start of Part 2, having largely nothing at all to do with said cliffhanger: a series of clips of Terrence, among other things, hanging out on the Wall with Jon Snow and telling him to stop being so pouty; learning the plot of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child from The Dom's butler Reginald; saving Ned Stark from his execution and drunkenly telling him that they'll start their own kingdom in the North; and casting a silencing spell on Donald Trump ("Merlin's beard, that is so much better, I am never undoing that").
    Terrence: Well, all in all that was a pretty average week.
  • If you pay close attention to the animation of the Marauder's Map when mentioning the scene from the book where Harry saw Crouch Jr's name on it, you can see dots with Terrence's and Katie Bell's names entering a room together, then begin moving very...suggestively.
  • Using clips of Leslie Knope as stand-ins for Bertha Jorkins.
  • Lamenting the absence of the blast-ended skrewts in the film.
    Terrence: I just wanted to see Rupert Grint getting a little bit attacked by a giant armored scorpion monster with a leech's head that could blast fire out of its arse! Is that really too much to ask for?

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

  • The Dom falling on Terrence after the levitating charm Terrence had used to get him out of the way last episode wore off.
    The Dom: Hello, beautiful watchers! Welcome back to theeee Happy Potterathon! (collapses)
  • The rant about the Order's and Harry's broom flight to Grimmauld Place in the film.
    The Dom: In the film, they fly right down the middle of the fucking Thames. A blatant display of magic on the busiest and most observed river in all of fucking Britain, making eye contact with sailors, riverfront businesses, AND THE HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT!
  • Noting that the actor playing young James Potter looks nothing like Daniel Radcliff...
    The Dom: So...who could they possibly have got to play him instead? Let's see, let's see... Someone who looks exactly like Daniel Radcliff...hmm... Hey here's an idea, why didn't you cast Daniel fucking Radcliff?!
  • How the Hall of Prophecy scene should have gone down in the film, given that the prophecy just auto-plays when Harry picks it up and the Death Eaters were clearly within hearing range.
    Lucius Malfoy: Well, that was surprisingly easy. Um... Bellatrix, go ahead and kill them all.
  • The Dom ends Part 1 leaving to address a series of intense visions he is suddenly struck with. At the start of Part 2, he is relaxing on a couch with a book in one hand and a drink in the other, with peaceful music playing in the background. He goes on to explain that "what I thought was a vision turned out to just be the aftereffects of eating a way-too-mature slice of Stilton."
    The Dom: ...I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit disappointed.
  • Imagining that the writers seemed almost to resent J.K. Rowling telling them that Kreacher would be important later and not to cut him out. "(sigh) All right Jo, we won't cut out the elf completely. But he's not having a story arc! He's just gonna be...there at the house, occasionally."
  • The brief bit where the Marauder's Map shows Terrence apparently fleeing from a group of Hufflepuffs shooting spells at him.
  • The filmmakers' attempt to change Harry's position on a scale of "Sexual Naivety." "Jo, all we're looking to do is move him down the scale slightly so he's below Anastasia Steele! I really don't think that's unreasonable."
  • "You know, I think you're right, it is about time we had a movie with Peeves in it! ...Ha-ha-ha, no I'm just messing with ya!"
  • The portrait of Sirius's mother being portrayed as the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons

The Harry Potterathon Recap

  • Terrence's PSA bringing attention to the terrible affliction that affects up to 1 in 4 UK wizards in their lifetimes: being sorted into Hufflepuff House.
    Terrence: If you observe these youngsters showing no particular drive to succeed in life, but proving to be unexpectedly good finders, you need to act quickly.
  • "The Dom would like to remind viewers that the opinions expressed by anyone in this commercial do not necessarily reflect his stance on the subject. He also requests that you keep in mind that he tried to shoot Terrence once."

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

  • "I've got to say, this was quite a dark film...and I don't mean that figuratively."
    Terrence: Sometimes, admittedly, this was plot appropriate, but for the majority of the film it just seems like Hogwarts was really trying to save on its candle bill this year.
  • While he criticizes the "muddy, miserable feel" that the film designs give to formerly vibrant, colorful settings, he does give the filmmakers credit for "more realistically representing genuine British weather."
  • Pointing out the casting of Ralph Fiennes' nephew as young Tom Riddle, "and goodness me, he acts like he's just someone's nephew."
  • Imagining Dean Thomas standing awkwardly just off-camera as Harry and Ron discuss him while in the dormitory they share with him.
    • Terrence feels a bit of a kinship with Dean in that regard, giving us a scene of him in the Ravenclaw common room as his fellow students loudly discuss what a douchebag he is and wondering if they can vote him out of the House.
    Terrence: You dickheads know I'm right here, don't you? I can hear everything you're saying.
    Ravenclaws: GOOD!
  • "...and the successful acquirement of the glob of brain semen."
    Terrence: Oh, don't act like you've not been thinking it for years!
  • Terrence's little Ravenclaw-pride-fueled rant about Yates's treatment of Professor Flitwick's character.
  • The "sexually-charged back-and-forth" between Harry and Ginny in the film.
    Terrence as Harry: Oh yes, that's right Weasley, you tie that shoelace real good. Mm. Don't forget to double-knot it, ah, ah yes, there it is, you redheaded minx.
  • Throwing away all pretense when discussing book!Harry's "monster in his chest." "Essentially, Rowling personified Harry's dick."
    Harry's "chest-monster": Harry. Ginny's looking pretty hot today, isn't she?
    Harry: She's Ron's sister!
    "Chest-monster": But she clearly wants to touch your wand. You should run up and do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!
    Harry: She's Ron's sister!
    "Chest-monster": Ah, who gives a fuck? You can always find another ginger friend to make stupid faces.
    Harry: It would never work.
    "Chest-monster": Stop lying, and prove to her why you're the Chosen One...
    Harry: SHUT UP!
    "Chest-monster": No! Now show her your patronus, she'll love that...
  • Cormac McLaggen is described by Terrence as "a strong contender for the Most Annoying Arsehole at Hogwarts award"...then grouses that he had been the recipient of that award that year.
  • Wondering why Harry seemed to get no punishment for almost killing Malfoy in the film, whereas he had been strongly punished in the book:
    Snape: You know what, Potter, he probably had this coming, you can just run along. (to Malfoy) You see, Draco? This is why you shouldn't be rude to your teachers at parties.
  • Terrence realises the horrible implications of Love Potions, causing him to completely freak out:
    Terrence: (after relating Voldemort's origin story, which involved his mother repeatedly drugging his father with love potions) Wait... Hang on. That's pretty much straight-up rape, isn't it? I mean, she used magical drugs to make him consent to sex against his will. (with a disgusted expression on his face) Huh, that's pretty horrible now that I think about it... (makes an Oh, Crap! face) Good Lord, Fred and George Weasley sell this stuff to teenagers! Legally! Merlin's beard, the magical community condones date rape for all ages! AZKABAN! Azkaban, all of you! Fred, George, Romilda Vane, Ginny, Hermione — I see you handling that filth! — Slughorn — we all know you made the stuff! — Azkaban! AZKABAN! ALL OF YOU! GAH-HA, I CAN'T UNREALISE THIS! ...Oh, wait. (takes out his wand) Yes, I can. (points wand at himself) Obliviate!
  • Dominic musing on his process of getting into character for Terrence:
    Dominic: You know, I definitely feel like the transformation takes place as I'm putting the shades on, it's like, dun-dun-duuuuuuuu- (puts on shades) -and asshole.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

  • Terrence starts his introduction for the review, but is soon distracted...
    Terrence: ...Merlin's mankini, when the HELL did you get a TANK?!
    The Dom: I've always had a tank!
    Terrence: I'm pretty sure you never established that!
    The Dom: Have you learned nothing from these movies? We don't need to establish ANYTHING!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
  • "I say, a woman being kidnapped in broad daylight clearly within my field of vision? (beat) Well, that's none of my business."
  • "Hello everyone, and welcome to the Ministry of Magic court-ordered adult learning classes. As you're probably aware, you've all been sentenced to a few months of mandatory intensive lessons as an alternative punishment, because after half the wizarding world was sent to Azkaban for sexual misconduct, there is now no more room for any more inmates. Uh, anyway, Lesson One: the Statute of Secrecy, and why it's not okay to keep flying around at ground level through the streets and rivers of the most populated Muggle city in ALL OF GREAT BRITAIN! (beat) There will be a test."
  • The Dom's critique of how Dobby being written out of all the films between the second and seventh lessens the impact of his death leads to:
    Dobby: Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter.
    The Dom as Dobby: Except, you know, in the last three films, but...two out of five isn't bad if you really think about it. Uh, essentially what Dobby is trying to say is he will very occasionally be there for Harry Potter.
  • Just the way the Dom says the line: "Aberforth had trouble with the law for doing something to a goat he shouldn't have been doing to a goat."

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

  • The Dom and Terrence's battle over who gets to do the final review.
    The Dom: (as Terrence slowly sneaks up behind him) I was hoping to keep the last two films to one episode each, but doing that with Deathly Hallows Part 1 was flat-out exhausting. So, here we are (click) and that's called a "land mine," Terrence!
  • Terrence Apparating them to various locations as they fight, first to the Village, where he accidentally hits Number 6 with a Full Body-Bind ("What the devil?!"); then to Camp Half-Blood, where The Dom briefly gains the upper-hand by saying Voldemort's name over and over before they are chased away by a minotaur.
  • Both The Dom and Terrence trying to fight through the FEELINGS induced by Snape's "Always," line and stick to their stance that he was still a "dickhead."
  • "Mm! Terrence does like a fiery redhead. Mrs. Weasley, let me know next time your husband's away."
  • Part One ends with an army of Snape fans coming to take revenge on the two for badmouthing him. The Dom laments that he is going to be killed by "an army of teenage girls with confused sexual feelings towards a bad role model... Just like my horoscope said."
  • Terrence's argument convincing the fangirls to give up their assault at the beginning of Part Two:
    Terrence: So, in conclusion, that is why Tom Hiddleston's Loki is a much better object of your misplaced affections than Snape ever was. There is no need for us to keep fighting, go forth and write your terrible slash-fiction in peace!
  • The Dom had managed to hold off the fangirl army long enough for Terrence to research his argument, but at a terrible cost: his tank.
    (My Heart Will Go On plays)
    The Dom's tank
    Since always - 2016
    • "Well, it had a good run."
  • Film Aberforth's feelings towards his brother being reduced to "...I just kind of don't like him, 'cause he keeps secrets and stuff."
  • "For one thing, [the Carrows] had a nasty habit of beating up incredibly handsome students at the dinner table just for sharing a bit of news. Dickheads."
  • After Terrence magically fixes The Dom's eyesight (the in-universe explanation for him no longer needing glasses after getting laser surgery), The Dom lets him take over for a bit while he takes a bunch of goofy selfies for his Facebook.
  • Prince Humperdink as a stand-in for the Bloody Baron.
  • "[The filmmakers] also thought the films needed less Easter eggs and more awkward teenage snogging. Good call there, guys!"
  • The Death Eaters sent to capture Neville's grandma failing due to underestimating her sass.
    Fat Grandma: I'll learn ya, ya darn Death Eaters!
  • The Dom criticizing the Goblet of Fire film for seemingly having every character deciding to grow out their hair at the same time...then panicking as an old photo of himself with quite a lengthy hairstyle of his own pops up. "Okay, NOBODY saw that."
  • During the Patreon sponsors portion of the credits, there's a piece of fanart of the basilisk watching Desperate Housewives.

The Princess Diaries

  • The Dom demonstrating, in a new sequence called Interesting Science With The Dom, that if one throws a book that has been adapted into a Disney movie as far as one possibly can, it is mathematically certain that no matter how far it is thrown, it will still be closer to the thrower than the Disney adaption was to the book's plot. "Science!"
  • The Dom mentioning that the book, despite having the framing device of being a series of diary entries by the titular princess, doesn't very well mimic the writing style of a stereotypical teenage girl..."unfortunately, it mimics the talking style of one perfectly."
    (book dialog as The Dom reads): She's totally such a jerk, like...whatever, because, boys, and just- God, my mom's just so unfair she doesn't let me do anything, and just- I'm so flat-chested but I'm not gonna apologize because just- y'know, like, BOYS and...why does the universe hate ME and-
    (The Dom slowly licks a finger and turns the page)
    (book dialogue continues): ...and BO-O-OYS, and just like, whatever because life is unfair...
  • The skit of Mia writing in her diary as the events she is writing about are occurring. "Uh, Mia? Hello?"
  • "Why do you hate living fathers, Disney?!"
  • "You might be wondering how the whole inheritance thing works in the book if his death wasn't the catalyst for Mia having to assume the throne of Genovia someday. Well, that's a lovely story involving testicular cancer and bastards. Yay."
  • "Oh yes, you poor thing, Mia, you and Hermione should form a support group to help you get through life looking so homely."
  • The skit demonstrating Josh's "personality" in the book.
    Josh: ………Hey.
    Mia and Lily: (squeal, swoon and faint)
  • The Dom's brief Laughing Mad moment as he discusses the book's finale having nothing to do with the whole princess thing that's in the book's title.

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