Funny / Technoblade

Technoblade's videos often have their hilarious moments.

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• Techno's small banter against Squidkid during the Potato Wars.
  • When Squidkid first noticed Techno's alt-account AFK-ing on his area, they proceeded to trade a few words to each other.
    Squidkid: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
    Techno: (shocked expression)
    Squidkid: Why do you keep doing this?!
    Techno: I-I just wanted to check on The Last Supper, man.
    Squidkid: You AFK'ed for 12 HOURS!
    Techno: It was a good painting!
  • Another golden moment, although it was from Marshmallowsss, instead of Squidkid.
    Marshmallowsss: Whitelisted, are you Squidkid's alt?
    Techno: N-No.
    Marshmallowsss: Ok?
    Techno: I just AFK here a lot — as a hobby.
• From Potato Wars 2:
  Techno: I went to his island and laughed at him. For half an hour.
  Techno: Then my CO-OP members showed up — And we ALL started laughing at him.
  • This banter as well:
    Squidkid: "no joke i'm dropping school"
    Techno: "that's not wise"
    Techno: "being #2 in potatoes doesn't pay that well"
• The fact that Techno set up an ACTUAL FUCKING SPREADSHEET ON SQUIDKID'S POTATO RATE, is both Awesome, and equal part Hilarious.
  • The title of that very spreadsheet.
    very normal behavior
• Techno, when explaining his thoughts on why Squidkid announced the closure of his island. Squid claimed it was because of someone sabotaging his hopper system.
  Techno: Now don't get me wrong, I completely believe, that somebody dropped rookie axes into his hopper system. (Beat) Because it was me. (cue video of him sabotaging the system) But that's not the real reason he closed his island. After all, I'd been dropping rookie axes into his hoppers for weeks, but he sent that tweet 8 minutes after he kicked my alt!
• The entirety of the Week 6 Minecraft Monday Build Battle round, where Techno and Jschlatt were tasked to build a structure based on the theme of a beach. Highlights include:
  • As Techno tries to clear out the sand floor, he realizes that the border surrounding the sand is also breakable. So what does he immediately attempt to do after with this information in mind? Break through the wall and grief on other player's plots. It must be seen to believed. Schlatt's laughter just makes it all the better.
  • Schlatt successfully summoned the Wither via usual procedures. It was immediately removed by the admin in the game shortly afterwards.
    Technoblade: My Wither! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
• Technoblade when he was with Skeppy, and they were playing Skeppy's troll parkour map.
  • When Technoblade used the Ender Pearl to teleport him outside the map. No one, not even Skeppy, could've seen that coming.
  • Right after, when he finds a village and pretends to be one of the villagers.
• In the fastest man in skyblock:
  Technoblade: We have permission to activate WARP SPEED! VROOOOOM!
  • Shortly after, he crashes into a wall.
• During the duel with Dream, Techno used his axe to strip the logs in the floor, which Mr. Beast interprets as taunting. No, turns out Techno didn't take his ADHD-medication and genuinely got distracted by the fact that you could strip logs with an axe in the newer versions of Minecraft.
• Techno was the best man at Minx and Connor's Minecraft-wedding. His speech was nothing but dry humor.
  Techno: When I first learned about this wedding 30 minutes ago, my first thought was "Wow, this is going to be a trainwreck." But I knew I had to be there for Connor. An old teammate, my old friend. Besides, at least I wouldn't have to do any public speaking! So when I was asked to be the best man 20 minutes ago, my first thought was "Oh, god dammit!" But enough about me, today we're here to celebrate this friendship between Connor and Minx. And truly, I cannot think of a more perfect match. Connor, who is good-looking, famous, charismatic, intelligent, rich, followed by Ninja on Twitter, and Minx, who is a woman. So if everyone could join me in a toast, to the friend and friend, Minx and Connor!
• "It was a day like any other, when BAM! New Discord notification. It's MrBeast. He's doing a hide-and-seek contest and the winner gets a $10,000 refrigerator. I had to have it."
  • His hiding technique: put on a sand-textured skin for camouflage. But in case MrBeast had them start together for the video intro (which he did), he copy-pasted his usual skin as a toggleable second layer... whose head was unusually large.
    Technoblade: Okay, it looks a little chubby, but as long as nobody looks too closely-
    (start of the contest)
    Ranboo: Wait a second. Something's a little off, there...
  • On a recreation of the planet Earth, the search begins. After everyone had hidden, Jimmy asks Technoblade where he's hiding. Techno (in Afghanistan) tells about his video series on the Antarctic on SMPEarth.
    MrBeast: Techno, is anyone in Antarctica?
    Techno: How many fridges are you willing to give up for this information?
  • Even better, when Jimmy start carpet-bombing Afghanistan, Techno yells about how he's being nuked... and survived. The comments take this as proof that Technoblade never dies.
  • Players start coming in and dropping boats to sabotage Techno's hiding spot. Later on, when the need to cross the water, several of them start complaining about their boats having been "taken".
    Techno: Taken!? Taken!? The audacity!
  • When the entire eastern half of the map is announced to be cut off, Techno (on the east coast of Australia) panics, and heads to Antarctica for real so he can ice-boat to the safe zone in time. On his way, Jimmy and Chris find him, and he begs for time to "show them something cool"; he gets onto the Antarctic ice... and starts boating again. And constantly messes up in the middle of yelling, "You'll never take me alive!"
  • Eventually, Jimmy puts him in a prison cell on a boat, offering to cut a deal: Techno can get killed now, or he can rat out two people and be spared.
    As I looked at the map, I saw it filled with my peers, my friends, people I had known for years. Did I really have it in me to sabotage two of them, just for a measly refrigerator?
    (closeup on Techno's face)
    YES.
  • Jimmy plans to come back and kill Techno if they don't find two people in Eastern Europe where Techno advises. Unfortunately, for the hunters, Chris makes the mistake of giving Techno an extra boat, which he uses to escape.
    Chris: Hold on, he asked for a boat. Did the boat I give him... help him escape?
    Jimmy: Why would you give him a boat!?
  • The winner, Fundy, turns out to have also used a camouflage skin... and as MrBeast's video reveals, made it on-the-spot, during the competition. Techno has Ranboo follow him for a side perspective as sand!Techno confronts tree!Fundy.
    Techno: I can't believe you would change your skin for a competitive advantage, Fundy. (other players laugh) Hey, Fundy, look me in the eyes. (toggles second layer to on) Shame on you. Shame on you, Fundy.
    Fundy: (panicking) No! No, I don't have that!
  • "I think the moral of this story is that at the end of the day, sometimes the best camouflage is not hiding directly next to a man wearing A BRIGHT BLUE SONIC ONESIE!"
• Leave it to Technoblade for managing to make revealing he's been diagnosed with cancer a bit comical.
  Technoblade: They ran a couple of scans, and then they came back, and they told me that, uh, the reason my arm hurts is because I have cancer. (Beat) That really couldn't have gone worse, I don't think.
• As much as "so long, nerds" was a Tear Jerker, there was one funny moment. He revealed that he had managed to pull off a six-year-long Bait-and-Switch prank, that his name wasn't 'Dave' and he just had his sibling call him that to prank people who were trying to get far too personal. It's actually 'Alex'.
  • Also, the mere fact that the video announcing Technoblade's death was titled "so long nerds". You just know Techno would have wanted that.
  • The description on "so long nerds" is Technoblade's default "BUY MY MERCH" description. As revealed by his father months later, he left this in on accident and didn't even realize it was there until an hour later, but by that point, he was too exhausted to remove it. But several people felt like it was quite on brand for Techno to seemingly be monetizing on his death post-mortem.
• After Techno's passing, Dream and Techno's father did a stream honoring Techno's memory and sharing stories about him. It generally is a Tear Jerker, with both men frequently choking up, but through it we see that Techno definitely inherited his father's sense of humor.
  • At one point, Techno's father mentions Dream called him an idiot before the stream for making a bad joke.
    Dream: Oh no, [the joke from earlier] I called him an idiot for was much worse. Much worse.
    Techno's Dad: What I said was, before I go any further—
    Dream: (gets up and leaves)
    Techno's Dad: I would like to take a minute and thank the sponsor of the stream. This stream is sponsored by cancer, without which this stream would not have happened.
    Dream: (returns and mock-threatens to hit Techno's father with a chair)
  • When recounting how the family was preparing for Techno's arm amputation, his dad talks about a gift he got for him.
    Techno's Dad: So, I got him a present-
    Dream: (looks highly uncomfortable)
    Techno's Dad: (laughs) I feel joy from the pained look on your face right now. I got him a present ahead of the— nobody likes this story. I wanted to have something I could give to him on the occasion of the surgery, so I thought and thought about what would be good, and I wanted it to be something valuable and special. And what I ended up getting him was a book. A rare, first edition, first print, 1922 printing of Hemmingway's... A Farewell to Arms.

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