Tear Of Grace has done quite a few crazy videos during his time as a Youtuber so it was inevitable that there would be at least a few hilarious gems of rage, frustration and glitches amid all the craziness...
As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.
Fallout 4
- His playthrough of Fallout 4
is only about half a dozen videos long, but the laughs didn't stop with the destruction of civilization. A few highlights:- Tears opening narration:
"War...war never changes. Except for that time we dropped bombs on each other, lost our military equipment, preparation and general finesse and prowess...y'know except for that little ol' chestnut. Unless, of course, you were just referring to the part where we all kill ourselves, inwhich case you don't even need a war for that, you just need a mild mid-alley mugging. Uncle Ben's rice can attest to that."- Tear meeting up with some drug dealers asking for his help assaulting a small diner:
Wolfgang: "Wanna make some easy money? Help me out. If things go south we'll back you up."Tear: "That's what I like to hear! Thank you very much! I mean, honest to god, I really appreciate that from you! The cooperation, theimmediate amount of trust you've put in me! I mean, that's commendable!" *beat* "STUPID." *cocks shotgun* "But it is commendable." *cue killing montage set to heavy metal with distorted visuals* "You, my good sir, just got wolf-ganged fucked! Never trust a man with a sack on his head!"- "Did you just...did you just cough on me?! The hell was th-alright, nope, I've had enough of him already. This is...this is some bullshit!" *bang* *smash*
- *deep demonic voice* "PEACE AND QUIET AT LAST."
- "Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! HHHOOOTTT!"
- "CHOOOOCOLAAAAATE!" *BOOM* "Who-" *gets shot*
- His completely irrational hate for the Brotherhood Of Steel seemingly because they dared to park an airship right next to him. In retaliation, he hunts them all down with a baseball bat and then storms the Prydwen itself, killing everyone on board.
- After killing his first brotherhood soldier:"And may they never question how he ended up halfway through the floor. I just hope they never question how the hell he ended up dead, otherwise all eyes are gonna be on me."
- At one point Tear sneaks up on a freaking Brotherhood Knight-Captain and smacks them so hard with his bat that they go flying off into the distance...and then walk back to their post like nothing is wrong, all while staring at Tear's character HOLDING A BLOODY BASEBALL BAT. Tear then hits them a few more times to finish them off, including breaking a piece of their armor, and they just stand there until dropping dead from the blunt force trauma that apparently came from nowhere.
"I think his words were: "Please sir, can I have some more?"- While clearing out Gunner H.Q. Tear decides to breach the main news room with a Fat Man. The resulting explosion causes gibs to fly around the room and land everywhere, including on the crotch of a man in his underwear.
- When Tear begins phase two of his assault on the Brotherhood he gets swarmed by a squad of soldiers shooting enough laser weapons to put on a fireworks show and promptly closes the door...right on someone's foot.
- "You've been caught stealing the owner is now hostile. Yes, because they were all hugs and kisses a second ago."
- "No Nuka Cola in the machine? These guys are Hitler!"
- "You really are quite the mess, officer."
- While out exploring the wasteland Tear comes across a trapped Sentry Bot and begins attacking it, thinking it'll be an easy kill. Then the thing hits him through the side of its container and forces him to break out his Gauss Rifle to destroy. As soon as its down he then gets bitten on the ass by a Legendary Rabid Mongrel. Poor Tear just can't catch a break.
- At one point Tear is forced to fire a Fat Man at point blank range...and somehow survives it with only a few scratches.
"Dear lord, nuclear wasteland Negan is immortal!- While fighting with the Gunner Lieutenant in Vault 95 Tear is having fun mocking him and toying with him...right up until the guy runs over to a bag and grabs something out of it.
"Uh, did you just take some of my future loot?! Oh that is-that is it, I'm fucking done with you!" *cue beatdown and Tear throwing the guy's head into a burning trashcan*- While looting a house Tear comes across a goo pile with a short assault rifle next to it and has a brief moment of sadness that he was probably supposed to defend the place and failed...and then the family who lives there shows up alive and well, causing tear to wonder just what the hell happened.
- "Corpse of my son, could you direct me to the exit, I'm a little bit new around here."
- While trying to relearn the controls after taking a break from the game for a while Tear accidentally kills a man by throwing a bottlecap mine in the middle of the street.
- *while chasing Old Longfellow* "I want your coat. You will be the first person I kill for a new set of clothes. I want your coat. He ain't gonna last long."
- Tear's first encounter with a Child Of Atom:
Child Of Atom: "You. I suggest you go no further. Acadia is a nest of snakes. Beasts that subvert the will of Atom."Tear: "Are you, the person who has lost most of their hair, wearing rags and machines...trying to convince me that you're the sane and sensible one? The moment I'm out of this dialogue I'm shooting you in the face!" *cut to tear doing just that* "I'm taking all your shit just to prove a point and I'm gonna wiggle your ass around a bit just to remind you that you are the butt of my jokes!- Tear meeting DiMA:
DiMA: "Tell me, what is the first thing you can remember?"Tear: "The insatiable urge to get bitches and riches."- Near the end of his first Far Harbor video Tear momentarily loses his mind and just goes crazy with mods, summoning a deathclaw, a super mutant, a synth gorilla and LIBERTY PRIME!
- After going to the trouble of stealing Old Longfellow's coat in the previous episode Tear decides to swap it out for a bathrobe he found at a spa infested with super mutants. A shot time later he comes across a trapper with a lobster trap helmet and decides to replace his head sack with it. The resulting combination of clothes was so good it became the thumbnail for the episode.
- In his rush to take refuge in one of the Polowski Preservation Shelters Tear comes face to face with a mannequin placed inside.
"Well, this isn't creepy at all..."- After having his game crash on him twice Tears reloads it and notes that the third time's the charm, turns around...and the game immediately crashes on him.
- Tear finds a skeleton that appears to be staring at him and...
*whacks the skeleton with his bat* "Know you place bitch!" *skeleton fixes itself* "You ain't nothing but a-oh god! Fuck me, that actually creeped me out! Jesus Christ!"
Sonic Unleashed
- "THAT'S A GIANT COCK SATELLITE!"
- As Chip explains how he lost his memory:Chip: ...And everything just going all white.Tear: Oh, I guess Trump won.
- His reaction to the Little Rexes:"I've got cute little green jelly demons, constantly shitting out noxious gas outta their assholes, and they go to sleep, and they're cute, and I want one as a pet."
- Upon arriving in Spagonia:"Yay! We're in the Attack on Titan land now!"
- He tries to jump off of a ride in Eggmanland, but to no avail:"Jump? Jee-omp? JUMP, YOU TURD!"
- After being knocked back by a Titan:"No, no, no, no! Stop wasting my Unleashed time, you great big gangly git!"
Sonic Adventure DX
- His playthrough of Sonic Adventure DX is full of these, naturally.
- Tear is quickly reduced to hysterics upon seeing and hearing Sonic's infamous "AAAH!" in the cutscene where Tails' plane crashes.
*cackles madly, his first word punctuated with an explosion* "AAH! ... had the face of a man who's trying to eat a really big burger, that's true terror!"- "Rescue Tails... What if I don't want to, though?"
- "Did I just clip through Free Willy? I feel like I just clipped through Free Willy!"
- After beating the first boss:
Sonic: Hey, I'll play with you some other time!Tear: Sonic, this is the man that in-intends to end the world, and you'll play with him some other time? Will you just be the smart man and kill him? Christ, you're like Daredevil, just kill the bad guy so they don't come back!- His reaction straight afterwards, when Robotnik/Eggman takes the Chaos Emerald from Tails.
"Tails... *sees the Chaos Emerald get nabbed* WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Seconds ago (Eggman) said "Those Chaos Emeralds, I will take them from you by force." I beat him in a boss battle and you walk up, present it to him on a plate and he takes it and now he's gonna fly off! Tails, YOU'VE DONE NOTHING GOOD FOR ME SO FAR!! YOU FUCKING MORON!!!- Eggman's odd gesturing catches Tear's eye
Is he motioning to suck a dick? 'Scuse me. Pause the cutscene! Was Eggman... just motioning... to suck a dick? ... I think he was. And if he wasn't, that's how I'm going to interpretate it!- Pretty much every time he makes a comment on Sonic's weird, rubbery facial animations every time he talks in an in-game cutscene.
Sonic: Somethin' buggin' you?Tear: *laughing* Wha?! Yes, something's bugging me! Your weird mouth that looked like you were chewing on a fucking gobstopper!- The episodes intro uses that part, with Sonic's mouth movements synched up to Surfing Bird. Then it's quickly replaced by loud death metal.
Caption: "ANIMATION"- Tear lands one hit in on Knuckles, and Knuckles' reaction to being hit pretty much leaves him paralyzed by laughter.
Tear: OK, Knuckles...Knuckles: *With a caption reading "ACTUAL AUDIO"* Oh no.Tear: *laughs for nearly 10 seconds straight* My God! *thud, then a high-pitched squeal* OK, I w... *devolves into laughter again. He tries to compose himself and fails* ... wasn't prepared for that! Fucking finally... find the thing I'm meant to do... I think "I'll get the first cheap hit in before I get a ring... fucking hit him, 'oh no.'- The third part almost immediately begins with Sonic being confronted by Amy.
Amy: Sonic! Wait up!Tear: Oh, it's Amy with a little... bird...Amy: Long time no see!Tear: Would have been nice if we kept it that way. What's with the bird?Amy: What's wrong with you, anyway?Tear: Bad face animation, bad voice acting... mmm, bad writing. Many things, really. The game's good, though.Sonic *doing his weird explody face again*: You must be kidding!Tear:Well, there's the face animation I was talking about. Look at it, this is Nightmare Fuel!- Amy gets chased off by the robot through the train tunnel, off the right side of the screen.
Sonic: I'll cut 'em off at the Mystic Ruins!Tear: Ah, yes! Because that's the direction of the Mystic Ruins as we look that way and the train goes the other way! ... WHAT?!?!- After Sonic obtains the Light Speed Attack ability, the camera ROYALLY spazzes out for a moment, complete with Scatman music.
Tear: WOAH! What the fucking Christ happened there?- The episode's ending, where Tails crash-lands the Tornado onto the Egg Carrier.
Tails: There's no landing gear in this mode.Tear: Then change the mode. Change the mode! Tails, turn the plane around and make another run-in! CHANGE THE MO- *BOOM!**Cut to two tombstones from an earlier level, with a sign in front of them reading "ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS CHANGE THE DAMN MODE CJ"*- The next part has Tear playing through the Sky Deck level. At the point where Sonic's meant to set off a rocket to blow something up, Tails runs in and does it instead, leaving Tear in stitches
Tear: It wasn't on number 4 at all, it was *Sees Tails set off the rocket* T-Tails?! I - guh -*The next part of the level instantly loads after a split second loading screen. Tear bursts into laughter*Tear: Tails... somehow, just stole my thunder. I dunno if there was a cutscene to go with that, I don't know what the fuck just happened, all I know is Tails went off into the rocket, he fucked off into the rocket, and next thing I know, I'm somewhere else. I *cracks up again* Well... t-thank you very much. You've got two tails, but er... no-no concept of sharing. Cheers!- The entire segment where Tails keeps randomly dropping into the level, walks sideways along a platform, vanishes, and then repeats.
Tear: Something just flew off at light speed while Tails descen- *Tails vanishes* .... 'scuse me. Dissa-*Tails drops back into view, complete with Freefalling playing in the background*Tear: ...RE-appears! Can I even finish what I'm saying about you be- *Tails vanishes again* -FORE you do something el-*Tails drops down again*Tear: WHAT THE F... *chuckles* Tails, you've got to - we need to have a goddamn intervention about this shit! You can't just abuse your powers, you're gonna be like Flash! *Tails vanishes and drops back in during that statement* STOP FUCKING UP THE TIMELINE!- Followed up by Tear summing up the whole situation:
Tear: If I stay here... on this ladder... Tails will forever and always... fall down, from nowhere, land on there, Moonwalk for a bit, disappear, and do it again forever. Ground-Tails Day. That's it. He's going to be doing this for Miles!- Sonic swings around on a crane, and falls from it mid-swing. He lands back on the surface, and then falls through the floor where a turrent enemy is. Tear doesn't take it well.
Tear: Whatever will- No! *Drops from the crane, lands on the floor, then falls through it*. What?! WOAH! HEY! NO!! 'SCUSE ME! THAT! WAS! A SOLID WALL AND FLOOR! THAT IS NOT OK!! I JUST GOT THAT LIFE AND YOU TOOK IT FROM ME! I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING! NO! STOP!!! ..... STOP EVERYTHING!!! That is not OK! I stayed ON the crane roundabout, I did my ring a ring of rosie, pocketfull of bullshit, and I ju- let go at the wrong time, fair enough, that's my bad. I just fall through the fucking floor?! HOW?!?! ... was a perfectly good floor. That was a PERFECTLY good floor! Enough to house a turret that was about to shoot me, and no, what happens? Sonic falls through! How? I'll be fucked if I actually know! Goddamnit, now I've got to do all that again, which will take 10 seconds cause I stalled for 5 cause Brett needs fucking comedy to drag out, apparently!- Tails gets stuck against a wall, causing him to go weird once again. Tear takes notice.
Tear: Just doing the Moonwalk again. Hm, one of these days, know what he'll do with this habit? He'll Beat It. He's actually just stuck in limbo, and now he's fucking the wall!- Tear notices something in the middle of an area which he thinks is a solid wall, and he sees what he describes as having the face of Lemmy Koopa, with one black eye and a half-grin on his face. He then finds out that its a reflective surface.
Tear: What is this wall?! And why does it have its own skybox - *moves around and finds that its a reflection* Wait, what? What is it? Is it a reflection? That supposed to be a reflection and I've seen the face of a dying Koopa! Of course! Inkblot test - is Brett insane? Most definitely!- Tear gets a chuckle out of Eggman screaming out for Gamma.
Eggman: GAMMA!!!Tear: Pfft... what the hell, what the HELL was that? Just fucking pure rage... GAMMA!!!- During the boss battle with Chaos, Eggman keeps yelling out "No way! I can't believe this!" every time Chaos takes a hit. It starts to get on Tear's nerves
Eggman: I can't believe this!Tear: HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IT HAPPENED FOUR TIMES?! You've got the goddamned memory of a goldfish? Jesus Christ, has your egg hatched? Is your brain functioning?Eggman *At the start of the next cutscene*: No way! I can't believe this!Tear: OH MY GOD!! THE SAME LINE OF DIALOGUE IN A CUTSCENE!Eggman: I CAN'T BELIEVE-- When Sonic falls from the Egg Carrier and lands in the Mystic Ruins:
Tear *As Sonic falls*: Oooohhh nooooooo....Sonic: *lands on the ground and flattens up in a cartoony fashion. He jumps back up and shakes himself off*Tear: ... did I just get flattened?Sonic: Aarrgh! I hate Eggman!Tear: Pfft... Th-th... That would be my reaction too, when flinging myself off of the Egg Carrier several hundred thousand feet, and becoming Paper Sonic for just a moment. Yes. My reaction too would be "Man, I hate that fellow. What an absolute spiffing good day. It isn't as if every single one of my internal organs just became the paper maché!"- The Ruins start rising up, prompting a half-hearted 'Hm?' from Sonic.
Tear: Hm? Giant vibrating temple after falling all that time, and landing and surviving, and hm? HM?!?! IF I DID EVEN A FRACTION OF THE THINGS YOU DID, PRETTY SURE MY REACTION WOULD BE A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN HM!! GOD, if I were you I'd be Sonic Advent-SURE to at least appreciate this shit that happens to me!Sonic: Now THIS is more like it!Tear: SHUT UP!!!!!!!! *an explosion consumes the screen, leaving behind a skeleton*- His reaction to the end of Sonic's story, specifically the part where Sonic silently speaks whilst "It Doesn't Matter" plays in the background
Tear: Uh... I'm... Sonic wasn't... Sonic wasn't saying anything! I'm sorry, but is *wheeze* is the canon of the Sonic universe that he's actually the vocalist from Crush 40?! .... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!- Upon starting Tails' campaign:
Tear: You know I'd love to say that by playing this character, I'm at the 'tail end' of this series. But you can see from the other fucking four characters I'm yet to play, I ju... we haven't even made it past the head yet!Tails: Here I come, Sonic!Tear: I... I never wanna hear that again. If that's the only person you can make up in the bedroom, I don't think this relationship's gonna last!- Tear goes off on a small rant when Tails explains to Sonic that he wants to harness the unlimited, mystical powers of the Chaos Emerald to fly his plane.
Tear: Unlimited, mystical power... flying a plane! MOTHERFUCKER! IF I HAD UNLIMITED MYSTICAL POWER, I'D BE SPAWNING ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE OFF THE REST OF MY LIFE AND GETTING A WOMAN TO SUCK MY DICK EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SECOND OF THE DAY! WHERE IS YOUR IMAGINATION?! YOU'VE GOT TWO TAILS, AND NONE!!!- Tear commented on Tails' stilted voice acting, after he and Sonic are gassed by Eggman
Tails: Egg-man...Tear: What... ok, seriously, was the voice actor for Tails 10? Cause with respect if he was, congratulations for finding work in a very competitive business, but at the same time - YOU FUCKING SUCK!!!- Tear gets an ability upgrade for Tails, and isn't too happy to find that the audio for Tails' attack sounds bugged.
Tear: They made feature - an upgradeable ability - sounds like a glitch! They made a fucking point of progression SOUND LIKE AN AUDIBLE ERROR?! Why am I surprised? Wh... why am I surprised?! WHY THE FFFFFFFUCK AM I SURPRISED?!- Tails is back in the present day, holding onto Froggy.
Tear: Ah, now I've come back from our fever dream to holding a frog, I forgot about this entirely- *"Psycho" Strings start up as he sees Big the Cat approaching* - no! No! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO-- Pretty much EVERYTHING from after Eggman comes crashing down in Station Square.
Tear *Seeing Eggman spinning down towards the ground*: WHAT THE FU... EXCU- *wheezes and cackles* Ok, no! How? Why was Eggman just randomly rotating down the same street as us? *Camera cuts to the Egg-O-Matic tilted into the ground, Tear chuckles* He's just face down in the middle of the pavement! *Continues to laugh*Eggman: I'm finished! *Tear squeals* Chaos was defeated, and now my Egg Carrier is ruined!Tear: He's having an existential crisis!Eggman: I will destroy Station Square anyway!Tear: What?! Don't do it! Don't fucking form ISIS now, don't suicide bomb and thrust at the - what is happening? Is that what's happening? I feel that that is actually slightly what is about to happen, and there's a weird shadow on the edge of the skybox, and I dunno if that's supposed to be forboding or not. Tails, why are you falling down on your bottom? What is... *sees a rocket slowly rise from the water* Is that a cock rocket? Is tha... this is literally the scene out of Austin Powers! That's exactly what it is... oh my God! *Scene cuts to Tails' worried expression, causing Tear to laugh again, the rocket flies overhead* Wait! What the fuck, it wasn't that close before! *The rocket flies slowly into the city at a weird angle* IT'S NOT EVEN GOING IN THE RI- *Tear dissolves into manic laughter* IT WASN'T EVEN ANGLED RIGHT! OOOOH, MY GOD! Thousands are dead!Eggman: Aah! No! It was a dud! I can't believe this!Tear *Screams*: FUCKING THAT SAME LINE!!Tails: Oh no! I'd better get to that missile before he detonates it!Tear: No no no no no no no! You can't! You can't just do whatever it is yo- oh, ok, that's a cutscene! But why are you - you were on the other side of the street, that's not where you st -Tails: I see it!Tear: I SEE IT?! THAT'S A FUCKING SONIC 06 LINE!!!- Tails' final boss starts, and Tear notices just how fast Tails' body is shaking up and down. He's so distracted by it that he gets himself killed by not responding to the immediate attack from the boss.
Tear: Oh my God! This is the speed - no! This is the speed of the hyperventilating of Tails! That wasn't doctored! That was - I feel like they actually fucking mapped that! I feel like they actually coded it so he breathes quicker the more scared he is! That's fucking awesome!- Knuckles's playthrough also doesn't stop delivering the laughs - the first part is even called "KNUCKLES BREAKS EVERYTHING (Haven't Laughed This Much in Years)"
- Special mention goes to this part:
Tear: The button was pressed, but nothing happened... *He picks it up* It says 'Monkey Destruction Sw-' *Tear immediately stops and dissolves into wheezing laughter, he tries to talk but fails* It's fucking... a Mo *bursts into more laughter* a fffff... a Mon... *coughs* a 'Monkey Destruction Switch'! Excu - hrm! No, I need to test this!*Tear places it down near the caged monkey badnik, causing it to explode as 'Ave Maria' starts playing*Tear: *literally howls with laughter for several seconds* Fuck off! You've got to be shitting me! I... *takes a deep breath* mmm... I, protector of the Chaos Emeralds, found some Shovel Claws, did a digging, found a ... *snorts* ... button called 'Monkey Destroyer Switch', put it down, and MURDERED a monkey! There was... *tries to compose himself again* ... there was an otherworldly button buried, with the capacity to just randomly spontaneously combust primates... WHY? I *cracks up again* I don't know! *wheeze* But I've got it! And nothing could open that door that I... *laughs even more* that I found before and didn't know how to open! *snickers* 'Monkey Destruction Switch'... This is a fucking children's game, that's not alright!- Knuckles points out the obvious:
Knuckles: That's... a Chaos Emerald!Tear: ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! You saw Sonic with it and came to that conclusion! NO SHIT!!!- Tear loses his shit when he hears some of the lyrics to "Unknown from M.E.", Knuckles's theme song.Vocalist: My duty is to save the flower...Tear: *Absolutely cracks up with laughter* I fucking called it! The song's lyric is "My duty to save the flower!" *slams something down* Oh my FUCKING God, TEN OUT OF TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!
- Safe to say Tear's playthrough of Amy's campaign is filled to the brim with these despite being one episode, moments include:
- Tear noticing a man moving in the background of Amy's opening cutscene without walking.
- Tear breaking down after hearing Amy scream from seeing the sign for Twinkle Park.
- Tear getting jumpscared by Zero on Amy's first level, and subsequently complaining of the fact that the part of the mirror hallway that he thought he was on was actually one of the reflections.
- Tear noticing a moment in Amy's meeting with Gamma where part of Amy's skirt went up.
Tear: Whoa! Wait a minute! Why did at the end of that, did her skirt suddenly fly up?! What the fuck was that!? I didn't make that joke! The game just implied that [Amy] was opening her legs for [Gamma]! That's it! That's the one. That's where I draw the line! I'm out!- The multiple times where Zero should have gotten to Tear, but is stopped by an obstacle, which he definitely notices.
- As Tear goes up an elevator, he goes into a minor rant, only to be cut off by Zero blasting past him, causing him to shortly break down into laughter afterwards.
Tear: What the fuck is this nightmarish game? Get me out of here as I wriggle my hips and wait for Sonic to fucking stick his dick in me so I can ride him like *Zero rockets through the floor and past Amy* a bron..co... Uhhhh... *wheezes and squeaks as he breaks down into helpless laughter* What was that? *sniffles* What just happened to my arch-nemesis of Rapey Mc Grabbyhands? Did he just blast off right through my skirt, keep going up to the skies, and was never heard of or seen from again? *He cackles once more*- Tear finds out about the pendant on Birdie's neck and questions how a bird could take the picture inside.
- Tear breaks down rather violently when Amy delivers the line "I may as well go all the way!"
Amy: I'll help you find your family! I've come this far. I may as well go all the way!Tear: Did she just say she's gonna go all the way?! *Tear is completely beside himself at this point* I can't fucking deal with this, man! I've just been carrying a bird around that has harbored a Chaos Emerald for the past hour! It has a pendant on it with a picture of its family, fuck knows who they are and how it took the picture, and Amy says she's gonna go all the way and now we're in the middle of the Mystic Ruins! I mean just fuck me up, Daddy, Jesus Christ! This game's a fucking roller coaster, it starts at one mile per hour and it just fucking blasts off to Back to the Future speeds before you even god damn know it!- As Tear goes up an entirely different elevator, instead of blasting past Tear, Zero just Woahs down the now empty elevator shaft, causing Tear to break down again.
- Tear questions how Birdie's family could have survived the Egg Carrier's crash, only a little bit later they appear to his surprise, only for Birdie to get sucker punched out of the sky by Zero.
- Tear taking note of Amy's sole victory pose in the game, in his own words, he described it as '[Amy] attempting to take a sexy selfie, but saw her cat fucking a dog in the corner of her eye'.
- The E-102 Gamma playthrough has some great moments, despite being only one episode long
- Tear's reaction to the first level
Tear: The first level is called 'Final Egg'! I know it's just cause it's the stage that I'm in but fuck me if that isn't a complete goddamn contradiction of my expectations!*Loads into a target shooting level with the objective 'Destroy the "Sonic Doll"!*Tear: Wh - ooooooohhhh, it's the creepy goddamn Sonic dummies again! Oh THAT'S why they exist, I finally got closure on that! Eggman isn't a weird plush toy fucking fetishist, he just made these for the shooting range. Makes sense... I'm completely OK with this! Also please - do bear no never mind to the fact that this was a time trial, and I was stood still monologing, as the frame rate dies in probably one of the least graphically intensive eggments... EGGMENTS! Fuck it, keep it in, makes sense, that we've been in so far!- His first boss battle against Beta ends rather quickly:
Tear: Don't worry, though, Eggman's money was on Beta! Even in the robot world, the black guy dies first!- When he sees Gamma standing alongside other robots of different colours:
Tear: Oh, it's the Power Rangers, and the black guy's been removed from the scene because whitewashing. That makes sense to me! Didn't know we were getting a behind the scenes look at Hollywood during this campaign!- Gamma, having gone back in time, tries to find out where he is:
Gamma: No data found. Location unknown. This presents a problem.Tear: *wheezes and cackles* This pres... *wheezes further* That's the- *coughs* excuse me, that's the first legitimately fucking funny that I think was supposed to be funny in the whole game!- Tear requests a quick techno remix of Eggman yelling "Dummies, dummies, dummies, dummies!" when the other robots bring him things that aren't Froggy.
Tear: Oh that's it, do the hump! *sees Gamma suddenly shake up and down quickly* Oh Jesus, he's excited!- Upon Beta being rebuilt with the parts of the destroyed E-Series robots:
Tear: Is that... the black one, being superpowered with the parts from all the other ones that just got murdered? Is that the canon now... oh, I don't mean his arm that's his weapon, I mean the story...Gamma: BETA?Tear: Yes, that's Beta, as you glitch-walk. WELL FUCKING DONE, ANIMATORS!- A line of dialogue from Sonic cracks Tear up:
Sonic: I'll nail that Eggman!Tear: *laughs* Has - has he said that before? I'm sorry, is that a line of dialogue that I've either A: missed, or B: has never been uttered before? Sonic, is gonna nail Eggman! Never in my life did I think I'd hear the protagonist just threaten to fuck the fucking villain!- Tear then cracks up further when Amy runs off clutching tight to Birdie, with the latter being completely motionless to the point where he's not even being properly grasped by Amy.
- The 'FIN' card for Gamma's story shows two Flickies (the parents of Birdie). Tear is noticeably confused:
Tear: FIN! *wheezes* FIN! I would love to fucking show this to you at the beginning and confuse the shit out of you, but that would be a spoiler! FIN for the robot's campaign: couple of birds! ... eh, YOU WOT, MATE?! - Even before Tear starts on Big the Cat's campaign, he knows just what he's in for.Tear: I actually have to play this fucking campaign... I've heard nothing but bad things about the fishing and I have no idea how it controls... I'm gonna be doing this for fucking days!
- Tear's quick to find out just why Froggy has a tailTear: There we go... OK... so the story of this campaign is Chaos merged with a frog... WHAT?!
- Tear struggles with the controls when he attempts to real in a fish - and then reacts in dread when he discovers that the line breaking results in him losing a life.
- When he catches one:Big: I got a fish!Tear: *wheezes with laughter and squeals, then mimics Big* I got a fish! *in his normal voice* You're trying to catch your friend that you've known for years, and you're fucking happy you caught a fish! If I catch enough, will they stop taking the fucking bait and he will?!
- Tear attempts to catch Froggy again in the Ice Cap stage:Tear *In a goofy voice*: Come on, Froggy! Come on, ehhh that's it... *Latches into Froggy, his voice goes back to normal* I fucking figured it out, I think! Aah, I hope it works next time I fucking do that, otherwise Brett's literally never gonna how the hell this works! Froggy, come on! WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A COCK?!
- Tear finds one of Tikal's help orbs, which circles around BigTikal: There's a secret passage somewhere. Go and find it.Tear: Thank you. You gave me, errr, *Sped-up footage of Big's eyes circling around* darting cocaine paranoid eyes, but at least you told me where I need to goddamn go!
- In the final episode, Tear goes looking in the jungle for Big's houseTear: Where's Big the hut's... Big the Hutt?! *bringing up images of Big the Cat and Jabba the Hutt, he wheezes* There's a fan-fiction. There's a fan-fiction I could likely Google, and find a search result for!*Sad music plays* Sadly, no such Fan-fic was ever found...
- Tear runs through a tunnel, starts running on the ceiling - and then falls through it and dies.Tear: Oh, it's SOOOOOON - *starts running on the spot on the roof of the tunnel*... oh. *Sonic then glitches through the ceiling, falls through the map and dies* OHHH - EXCUSE MY ARSEHOLE!!! *Cackles* HOW?! I lost a life cause of that! *laughs* I mean... every single time I come down this tunnel, it breaks a bit more. It's fitting on the final chapter, it FINALLY completely went kaput and off I fucked! Gorgeous!
- Tear has a slight rant at the end of Sonic's flashback - only to go off on another one when Tails checks in on Sonic.Tikal: The 7 Emeralds can change our thoughts into power. If this Emerald controls that power... Please, you must stop him!Tear: It changes your thoughts into power? Well then why wasn't Tails flying his heart's content out when he got them? When Knuckles got them, why didn't the world just fall asleep cause he's that sodding boring?Tails: Sonic! Wake up!Sonic: Ahhh... I was on a snooze cruise, I guess!*Tear cackles wildly over the following shot of Tails looking horrorfied*Tails *his expression returning to normal in a split second*: Good thing you're okay.Tear: Wait, what?! Wh- *erupts into laughter* I thought that was going to be a reveal like 'Oh no! The world had died while you were daydreaming!' but no, he just maintained that expression, was like 'oh no, he's fine! I'm just gonna look mortified for a bit, my pal's woken up and now my facial animation's caught up to my brain!' Oh, good! Synapses are firing on all cylinders again! Tails needs a fucking doctor! Can we get him one? I think the gas from the first chapter's really affected him!
- "Oh no. Not the clouds! Not the stock footage! NOT The Simpsons LOGO!"
Sonic 06
- Tear's playthrough of Sonic...06. Yes, the worst Sonic game ever (and one of the worst games PERIOD)which started up his whole Sonic series and led to him trying other titles in the franchise.
- At only five seconds in Tear realizes the horror he has set up for himself and proceeds to have a mental breakdown...at the TITLE SCREEN.
"Ah no...! Ah! AH NO! Auuugggghhhhh!"- The glitching hits as soon as Tear begins and shows just what kind of hell is still to come for the poor bastard. In this case, its barrels appearing out of thin air and tails somehow running up the side of one while it rolls.
- As bad as the glitches are the writing and animation isn't much better.
Old Man: "But, there is no one that can test the full potential of these shores! Is there anyone who can test the design of these shoes?"Tear: "I'm jus-I'm just gonna have to weigh it down to you speaking like ya don't know english. I mean, you just keep saying the same words over and over and over again and that motion with your mouth has me thinking that you're eatin' some nice taffy."- Sonic clipping right through the ground into oblivion...while Goofy's falling scream is used in the background.
- Even completing a level has Tear in bad spirits:
Princess Elise: "I'm so happy!"Tear: "SHUT UP.- Tear getting the shit kicked out of him by Silver while freaking ONE WINGED ANGEL plays in the background.
- After being sent on a wild goose chase Tear finally finds the captain he was looking for and loses his mind.
Captain: "You guessed it, I'm the captain."Tear: "This game is a piece of shit!"- At the very end of the first episode Tear promises to stick with the game until the bitter end if the fans want it. They did, so he does.
- Episode 2 begins on a high note:"There's no loading screen! Holy shit! And he's got a pokedex!"
- Then things immediately go south:
"I know this is a hologram Eggman, but do you think you could move your lips in any of this? I know lip-syncing is hard, but christ." *the "pokedex" floats from Sonic to Knuckles* "What?! That just fucking floated! He didn't throw it, it just levitated to his fucking hand when he butted around with his stupid fucking mitten hands! THIS WAS PROFESSIONALLY MADE?!"- After positioning Sonic on the side of a searchlight several feet above the ground:
"You're not even trying anymore."- Tear finding out Eggman has a time machine:
"Excuse me? What the fuck? You have a time machine and you've only used it to get rid of people instead of I don't know, go back and place all your fucking bets on the lottery and win a million?! You could go back to the birth of the fucking Chaos Emeralds and pick them up form there! You have a fucking time machine! Why do you need mine?!"- While trying to get Knuckles through a cave the game just plain stops caring and spazzes out, killing Knuckles in the process.
"Whoah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" *singing* "I'm having a waking nightmare...I'm seeing colors in the sky..." *Knuckles falls through the wall* "Oh! Oh my god! I-what the fuck?! I went through the wall! Ah. Ah ha ha. Ah. Oh. They sold this for money."- About halfway through the video tears finds a nasty surprise in the form of a bumper that launches Knuckles straight into an eruption of flame.
"The level kills you!"- After two episodes of dissing everything about the game Tear finally comes across something he likes: A reflective building surface.
- The fun continues in episode 3 with Tear dying several times and Sonic flying through the air upside down in just the first few minutes.
- Tear's reaction to Elise's "gutsy move" to escape Eggman:
Elise: *falls backwards*Tear: "Is she just gonna kill herself?" *Sonic shows up at the last second to catch her* "I want to play a version of this game where Sonic wasn't there."- Shortly after the above moment we get this:
Sonic: "That was a gutsy move back there."Tear: *bursts out laughing* "Are you fucking kidding me with that Sonic, with your wonky eyelids right now? The response you give to someone who was quite willing to end their own life right there by falling head first into ground? "That was a risky move!" He says with a gutsy thumbs up and a fucking wonky eyelid! I actually wish I were dead!"- Tear coming across a bridge that appears and disappears at random. Then getting closer and noticing that it doesn't even have any kind of support keeping it in place.
- "She doesn't even have any features rendered. She's just a pale blob. What is her face? That is nightmare fuel!"
- While attempting to exit the level he is playing Tear brings Tails to a small village area outside the map. Surprised that the place even exists at all he begins exploring...and immediately falls through a house to his death in the ocean below. All he can do is laugh as it happens.
- Tear getting into a race with a Sonic fan NPC who runs exactly the way Sonic does despite being human. It really must be seen to be believed.
- Tear's reaction to the final trial:
Tear: "Overcome the test of love...alright." *immediately runs for the exit while sad music plays*- Also Tears reaction to his victory over the trials:
Priest: "You have done well. Now, let that eagle carry you."Tear: "Are you fucking serious right now?" *eagle carries Sonic to a slightly higher platform while epic music plays then abruptly drops him* "Yeah...yeah, alright. Yeah sure. The religious fucking people summoned a bird of pray."- "I'm gonna get that extra life if its the last thing I fucking do!" *grabs it, but goes too far and falls off the edge*
- This exchange after Tear gets a D rank on one of the levels:
Sonic: "Man! Today's not my day!"Tear: "Nor is it mine, Sonic." - Episode 4 lets everyone know what is in store right from the very beginning with Tear's introduction set to game show music:"It's time for more of the most broken game on planet earth. What do we thinks gonna be behind door number one? An infinite amount of glitches that inhibit your ability to progress? TWO! A bunch of awkward, inconsistent names and dialogue? OR THREE! Levels that are poorly made, bad and shouldn't have been released? I'm gonna pick all of the above for 500, Jim. AHHHHHHHHH!" *win sirens*
- Tear thought Sonic, Knuckles and Tails were bad to play as...then comes across Silver, who is infinitely worse.
"Playing as Silver is. Just. So. Bad. I can't describe it. It's like trying to ride a bike with the handlebars INSIDE YOUR ASSHOLE!"- "I have been defeated by a curb."
- After being forced to restart and lose nearly an hour of progress right next to a check point Tear begins screaming that Eggman kill Elise just so that the game can end. A few minutes later Eggman's ship randomly breaks and crashes, killing them both.
- Tear finding a way to make Knuckles appear to hump the wall which is made funnier by what happens immediately afterwards:
Computer Voice: "Thrust increasing."- After Sonic finally defeats Eggman in the Egg-Wyvern, the mad doctor attempts to escape in his Egg Mobile... which breaks down just like the Wyvern did, and ejects the driver's seat out with Eggman still on it! This causes him to fall to his potential death while Tear (and likely the viewer as well) laughs his ass off.
- Tear's reaction to the end of Sonic's campaign:
Tear: Why are we in the Windows Vista land again? And how are they laughing that off? You just killed a man, almost died yourself.Sonic: "Nice smile!"Tear: That's creepy...Sonic: *winks at Elise*Tear: That's creepier...Elise: *winks back at Sonic*Tear: And that's disgusting. - Episode 5 picks up after Sonic's campaign ended. The game is still broken beyond all reason. Tear is now playing as Shadow, who is well known for his edge:*the game opens to an army of robots as an air raid siren blares in the background*Tear: "What... on earth is this Disturbed Indestructible bullshit?" *plays a brief clip of the song in question as the robots open fire on Shadow*
- This is followed by Tear going through a warp hole as Shadow and inexplicably turning into Rouge:
Tear: "I went through a warp hole and suddenly Shadow got a sex change, a species alteration and some fucking sick make up! I go through a warp hole and suddenly I'm just Rougethebat! I can't deal with this shit!"- Rouge the bat literally can't seem to stay still, just the slightest of movements and she's glitching outside of a moving vehicle, desperately trying to hump a cliff side into oblivion or just spazzing out in one spot. It's beautiful.
- Sonic 06 is such a bad game that even doing well on a level won't save you when the game decides to screw the player over.
Tear: "An entire tower... I don't even, no no r- *SLAM*Shadow: "NOOOOO!"Tear: "Nevermind!"- "You! Don't! Have! A! Mouth!"
- This exchange:
Mephilis: "What you gave to me, I now return to you! A one way ticket to oblivion!"Tear: "And that's the point Shadow stood still... and let it happen." *pop* *pop* "Oh, in one frame they disa- *pop* ha... ha ha... ha ha ha ha hah! That's... I think its safe to say most of their budget disappeared. So, Shadow's shadow made another shadow and then Shadow's shadow sent me to the shadow realm." *music plays as the camera zooms in on Shadow with other Shadows in his eyes*- Tear is nothing if not blunt:
Middle-aged Woman: "That Network shop in front of the clock tower is nice, isn't it? I like being able to buy things without having to talk to anyone."Tear: "Well, aren't you a bitch!" - Episode 6 is where Tear begins using the clickbait thumbnail parodies of Rouge the bat having enormous boobs. They start out fairly large and eventually get so over the top that it isn't even remotely sexy, just hysterical. And then seeing Tear finding a way to one-up himself when the next video comes out.
- Tear making Shadow stand on the side of a large round ball as it rolls off the edge of the highway. Its like the sideways crate gag from the first episode, but even more physics breaking.
- The mission success screen where the player can still control their character, leading to the image of Rouge burning alive in a lava pit while the game gives the player their score and transitions to the next level.
- Shadow's suicide via train. Tear has already had enough of this game to last him for a lifetime and he's only about halfway through his playthrough.
- "It's a rather nice city!" *falls off edge and dies*
- With Episode 7 Tear is now halfway through the game and things can't get much worse... right?
- "Oh no, she's been hentai-fingered again." Tear really couldn't care less about saving Elise at this point, not that anyone could blame him.
- As bad as Silver was to play as, he's EVEN WORSE as a boss fight.
Tear: "That's perfect! No, let's have a situation where if you get caught once you will get caught again unless you're dead. MMMHHH MMMMMMMMMMHHHHHH!"- What make the whole thing even better is how Silver will grab the player DURING their immunity frames and then wait until the immunity frames WEAR OFF before hurting them again. Oh, and the whole time Silver is screaming "It's no use!" over and over at the top of his lungs.
- At one point Tear comes across one of the demonic lava lizard things... trying to ride a piece of railing.
- "And then I turn around and remember... this is the game!" *laughs* "Sideways worm and a bunch of floating balls. Yeah, alright."
- *to a NPC with his head face down on the table* "Yeah you, yeah Mr. Black Man? That's exactly how I feel, only minus Rougethebat standing on your head. If you'd flip your head the other way around... uh, it might improve your mood."
- Tear lightly crashing into a monster with his vehicle somehow sending it flying into the stratosphere.
Tear: "WHOA! Well, see you in outer space fella."- Not a minute after the above incident the monster get their revenge and send Tear slowing flying over the distant horizon. He doesn't seem too bothered by it though.
Tear: "Wow! Uh, I don't know what the game's gonna do now, I'm not even really sure if they bothered to add collision to these things. Are we gonna keep going? Oh please! Ohhh, so this is Christmas! Ha ha! Whuh. Ha ha ha! Everything that could break, did break. So now I'm just in my snowglobe of a skybox... floating forever. Little did we know that the solution to all of Shadow's problems was in his hovercar. Ha ha. I'm slightly dying. Okaaay, yeah. I don't know how this happened but I'm very glad that it did." - Episode 8 ends Shadow's saga, but not poor Tear's misery.
- Tear fooling around with the hovercraft. He calls it the best vehicle in the game and not a minute later he's sterring upside down on the ground. It's glorious just how poorly made the "good" parts of the game are.
- Tear's Bait-and-Switch Comment on the game:
"You know what you can do? Sonic 06? You can just keep on existing cause I'm gonna play the rest of you because its shit like that, that's the reason I play you. You fucking stupid, CONVOLUTED GARBAGE."- Tear getting more distracted by and going on a rant about a giant random fossil rather than a spike trap with the floating spikes visible inside the side of it.
- Tear kills the Big Bad again but has the moment ruined by the victory cutscene.
Rouge: "I t's destroyed!"Tear: "It's destroyed! With the space between the I and the T!" *camera zooms in* "EVEN THE SUBTITLES BREAK IF WE TRY!"- The horrifying realization Tear has at the end of the episode when he realizes whats in store for him next:
"Well... we did it. We beat the Shadow campaign. Which means we're just left with this guy now. I have heard nothing good about this campaign." *camera zooms in on Silver's face as scare cords echo in the background*- "Last save time: 2005? Apparently its me with the real ability to time travel. Ah fuck."
- Episode 9 marks the beginning of the end. Unfortunately, even with most of the game behind him Tear still has several more trials to face before he is finally done with Sonic 06.
- The opening cutscene gives everyone a good glimpse of what they're in for:
Silver: "Blaze! What's wrong?"Blaze: "He's appeared again."Tear: "She says, so casually, as if it were just the mailboy putting it in the wrong hole. I don't even mean it like that! Don't even take it that way! That was- that was on you, it wasn't me, it was you!"- Barely a minute in and Silver is already vibrating in place while Blaze is spinning around like she's caught in a tornado.
- Tear killing Blaze by making her fall off a ledge into lava only to have her respawn, die again immediately and then lay there on the ground dead while Tear plays sad music.
- Shorty after that he watches Blaze fall to her death AGAIN and then he kills Silver.
- The bad writing showcased in both Sonic and Knuckles campaigns comes out in full force during Silver's story.
Mephilis: "I have the power to travel though time."Silver: "No way!"Tear: *bursts out laughing* "This was fucking written by someone who thought "No, its fine, we'll release it!" The hero of the story who saves everything and everyone..." *laughs* "Fucking mind of a child." *mockingly* "NOOO WAAAAY!!!" *laughs again* "Oh, this game's awful. What's happening here?"Silver: *excited* "I see it!"Tear: *breaks down laughing again*- Getting an S rank on a level is apparently no big deal for Blaze:
Blaze: "Can't complain."Tear: "That's your response to getting an S? Can't com- this bitch ain't easily pleased. You could go down on her for a fuckin' week, do all the goddamn tongue gymnastics and she still wouldn't pat you on the back for it! Jesus."- Tear's reaction to Silver talking to himself while stalking Sonic:
Tear:"Wait, you're doing an inner monologue! But the screen didn't go black and white! Shadow got that, that's discrimination!"Amy: *grabs Silver* "Now I've got you Sonic!"Tear: "How does everyone get every hedgehog mixed up with every other one? HE'S THE WRONG COLOR, AMY. *5 seconds ago* "THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!"- Tear finds a man who he assumes is the town drunk passed out on an upstairs balcony. Then notices that the balcony doesn't even have a door, which means this guy has to climb through the window if he wants to go back inside his house. The developers really, honestly, didn't care.
- Episode 10 continues the insanity with Silver. Will Tear's sanity continue to hold out until the end? Probably not..."No! No! Noo-ah! I forgot I was playing him."
- Amy turning invisible. For some reason not only does her shadow remain but when she attacks her hammer becomes visible as well.
- Due to the A.I. being so awful Tear is able to clear an entire room without landing a single hit. By jumping up in the air near a large hole he lures several enemies into rolling right off the edge one right after the other. Then he finds one upside down that can only roll in place while hovering helplessly in the air.
- Amy's love for Sonic knows no bounds, leading to this hilarious bit of dialogue.
Amy: "If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!"Tear: What th—? That's not the line of a good guy! Is she gonna get a spin-off where she goes psychopathic and kills everyone to bring Sonic back from the grave? That's a game I'll pay for! Amy versus Everyone! Fucking shit and gettin' bitches! I'd play that game! I'd play it a lot more than the werewolf one! I just want an Amy game where she kills everything!- Elise managing to escape from her cell and get back to the city in a single cutscene. How does she do it? She opens the unlocked door, follows Amy down a hallway... and then the game cuts to them back at the city like they had just gone for a walk or something.
- This is immediately followed by her getting kidnapped YET AGAIN by Eggman about a minute later.
Tear: "Oh... oh. Oh no. On not again. Elise kidnapped... for the fifteen-hundredth fucking time as her shadow slowly scrolls in! You couldn't even get the cutscenes right. Hey you found her again!"Eggman: "Finally. I've been waiting so patiently for you to return, princess."Tear: "Just put her in a locked room for Christ's sake! Do you understand how that works?!"- While standing next to an enemy breathing fire at him the enemy is suddenly killed... by another similar creature breathing fire on it! Sadly, Tear miss the chance to make a friendly fire joke because he's too busy laughing.
- The entire flashback scene where Elise's father puts the Iblis flames inside her is so filled with Fridge Logic that Tear has a field day with it.
- The three boats in one glitch near the end of the episode. What makes it so funny is that there isn't any build up or foreshadowing. The scene just cuts to Silver and Blaze riding inside three boats at once... or trying to ride in Blaze's case.
"Oh my god I broke the hub world. Oh, I can see underneath it now! Ohhh. Ohhhhh okay."- "Hey there Delilah, what's it like in Chaos City? Are the physics really bad and the graphics really shitty? Fuckin' A!"
- Tear's reaction to... uh... Elise kissing Sonic to revive him from the dead with the help of the Chaos Emeralds.
Tear (deadpan, with the subtitle on screen): Bestiality...
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War
- The hotly anticipated sequel to Tear's Shadow of Mordor series starts with Tear getting excited about the game being difficult enough that he won't have to handicap himself for a proper challenge. Over the course of the first part, he gets murdered by a random mook while a level 15 Captain watches, bailed out by a Gondorian sergeant when the promoted mook has him on his knees, killed by another mook soon after, ambushed by the Captain from the tutorial level that introduces Captains, and kill-stolen by Idril. The last line at the very end shows quite clearly that he knows what he got himself into.Tear: Ugh... Mordor, I'm back...
- Part 2 has Tear meeting a far more powerful Captain named - you guessed it - Prâk. Tear is so incensed by this nobody bearing the name of his most infamous Nemesis from Shadow of Mordor that he chases him down instead of the grunt who killed him. By the way, said grunt said "Here comes the pain!" before killing Tear. Guess whose theme music plays before the final blow.
- Prâk the Twisted takes out the Terror Tribe's chain whips in his second fight with Tear. Tear sounds more than impressed by what he sees.
Tear: What is that - WHAT ON EARTH is that ability?!- While rewatching Celebrimbor's near-victory against Sauron:
Tear: (Towards Celebrimbor) You just knocked down Sauron like he was nothing. Like he was a tower of Jenga blocks. How did you lose?(Sauron telekinetically pulls Celebrimbor's ring - the One Ring which responds to Sauron above all - off his hand... but to Tear, it looks like he just dropped it.)Tear: Oh, yeah... because you didn't tighten your grip. You didn't ball up your hand to make a fist. That's literally why you lost. Damn, you're stupid. - In Part 3, Tear faces off against a Drake and doesn't seem too confident in his chances, saying "I'm going to really, really fuck it up emotionally at least!" right before Talion slices off its head.
- The second fight Tear faces in the arena is none other than Prâk...the Twisted. Tear is once again furious with this "imposter" and after killing him, he even puts up a special Looney Tunes end card with FRAUD stamped over Prâk's image.
- Part 4 begins with Tear dispatching a measly level 4 Captain named Tugog, joking about him being called "the Timid"... then Ûkrom Blood-Storm comes out of the gates and makes Tear freak the hell out.Tear: Now what?Ûkrom Blood-Storm: I don't reckon this will be too good of a show. Over very quickly, by the looks of this man-swine!Tear (suddenly terrified): NNNNNNNNNNNNOPE, I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT ONE. BYE!(Tear dashes off, complete with cartoony thwip sound!)
- After Ûkrom monologues about putting an end to unfinished business:
Tear: Well, we can only hope, right?! Maybe this is the thing that kills ya!(Tear flings a hammer at a grog barrel. The Champion is nowhere near its blast radius.)Tear: OH WELL THAT WASN'T EVEN FUCKING CLOSE ENOUGH.- As if that wasn't enough, the Champion starts flinging poison bombs at Talion shortly after, prompting Tear to scream that he's a "poison-spamming arsehole".
- Things go from worse to even worse when it turns out Ûkrom is now enraged by injury. Tear says that he's pretty much got no hope of beating him now.
- Desperate and seeing no way of putting down his opponent, Tear gets a bright idea: free a Caragor and have it kill Ûkrom for him. But then Tear ends up losing the last of his health as soon as he frees the big cat (which he still thinks is a dog), and it steals the kill from the Champion. Tear is not very amused by this turn of events.
Tear: Please not the... NOT THE DOGGY!!!- After getting downed a second time by Ûkrom:
Tear: I'm going with my fucking original plan! I am FLOODING the arena with these fucking things, and they can fight for me! COME ON, DOGGY! MY MONEY'S ON YOU!( Ûkrom pins a Caragor to the ground and beats it to death with his shield.)Tear: GOD. DAMMIT.- After Tear drains one of Ûkrom's minions while he's only a few feet away:
Tear: You know, for my immortal nemesis, you're really fucking awful, alright? You've visited my graves more times than I care to mention, but not once have you taken a trip to the optician!- Tear finally does in his Shadow of Mordor Nemesis, with him fittingly being slain in a "storm of his own blood", hence his name. Though Ûkrom still gives Tear one last "fuck you" as he falls to the ground dead...
Tear: Oh, and also he had the last laugh... he set up poison traps everywhere before he died!(Cue the screen erupting in green smoke!)- Tear tries to absorb health from an Orc and implores a nearby Gondorian to keep anyone from hitting him. He then gets torched from off-screen by a Drake's fire breath.
- Tear reacts with astounding glee as the Witch-King of Angmar kills Castamir with a swat of his mace, complete with the Ode of Joy and rainbow colors!
Tear: Oh...! Just... THANK... YOU!- Tear just gets happier when Idril starts screaming in anguished despair over her father's death (even though he really doesn't deserve to be mourned over). He just hates the Gondorians in general.
Tear: (laughs) Oh, this is my favorite day!- After spending four hours doing errands for people he could not give less of a shit about, Tear finally gets his ring back from Shelob. His excitement is positively Gollum-like. No seriously, he does one hell of a Gollum impression.
- Episode 6 has him being bastardized by a Hunter Uruk named Noruk the Bone Collector... who has the No Chance perk.Tear (after getting downed): OK, this is complete horseshi—(Noruk now raises his spear, with the "No Chance" message displaying itself and Vince McMahon's theme playing briefly as it does:)Song in Background: NO CHANCE!Tear: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "NO CHANCE"?!? (gets speared)
- Later after being killed by Luga Death Bone Talion makes a comment that he'll never get used to dying, before Tear can point out that dying is commonplace with him playing so he should be used to it, Celebrimbor shoots both of them down with a snarky jab that they should stop dying then. To which Tear found to be pretty clever.
- In Part 7, Tear finally finds a captain with a weakness he can exploit, and then a drake comes in to ruin his fun.
- While facing off against Prâk the Handsome, Tear accidentally tries to drain another captain, who then tackles him, punches him in the face, and taunts him before walking away. The captain's name? Shaká the Swift.
- Tear tries to kill Olrok Dead Killer before he can introduce himself. Olrok never introduces himself... because he gets some random grunt to do the work for him.
Grunt: You see that Orc?Tear: What the—?Grunt: He's so lazy he can't even be bothered to taunt you!Tear (amused): Wha—?!Grunt: Instead, I have to do it! So here goes: you're ugly and you're gonna die!Tear: Oh my God, are you fucking se—?! If I had an arrow, it would be in you by now, you cheeky bastard!- Tear takes a moment to admire Ghash the Warlock's striking appearance. A Hunter takes this opportunity to literally stab him in the back.
Tear (in awe): What are you? (gets speared) OW!!! YOU BASTARD, MY BACK WAS TURNED!- After slicing off Shaká the Swift's arms, Tear takes a moment to outline the horrible pain of his final moments.
Tear: Enjoy the slow, agonizing, bloody, burning sensation across your whole body. God, that was a night-(Tear notices the ground underneath him lighting up right before a drake appears.)Tear: OH, WHY DID I SAY BURNING?!?- Tear's first recruit is, in Tear's own words, a liar, a fool, and a coward. Shortly after, Brûz shows up out of nowhere (scaring Tear out of his wits) and invites him to make his recent convert a bodyguard.
Tear: He's my bodyguard? Th-th-th-the boy who called me a coward. There's some real psychological warfare going right now and I feel like I'm the biggest fucking victim.- The video ends with Tear getting shot by Gubu the Jaded, who doesn't even feel happy about killing him. Tear expresses mock-sadness and says that he "really left a mark, man". Then a gun comes in from the left, Talion comes out of the barrel, confetti rains down, and children cheer, celebrating one of Tear's many horrendous puns.
- In Part 10, Tear meets Hûra the Obsessed, who goes on about Talion's gorgeousness while muffled Careless Whisper plays in the distance.
- After Hûra fills Talion up (with arrows), Talion snidely remarks that the war against Sauron is a battle of inches. Tear immediately connects it to Hûra's raging... passion for our hero.
- Skûn the Serpent gets enraged by an injury. Tear imitates his reaction a bit too well.
Tear: He's enraged? Ah, good. Wha... why would I not immediately enrage someone? By injury! Of course! "Ah, a splinter... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"- And then he finds out he accidentally enraged him further by bringing a Caragor into the fight. And then it turns out Mozû Skin-Chewer is enraged by everything.
- After killing Ûkbûk the Smasher, Tear gleefully notes that he partnered up with Hûra and dropped a ring on his death. He suspects that Hûra was going to propose to him, with Ûkbûk as his best man.
- Tear summons a graug, which proceeds to do nothing as Hûra shoots him full of arrows for the second time.
- How does the episode end? Tear admits that he pretty much has decided to let Talion be Hûra's bride. Then we see a framed photo of Talion's face shittily photoshopped over a bride's and Hûra standing beside him with a massive shrahk-eating grin on his face.
- Near the end of Episode 11, Tear had finished dealing with a particularly deadly warchief and chased down a coward Orc who was running from him. Literally about 3 seconds after he killed said coward, a new Captain, the aforementioned Orc's Blood Brother, knocks Tear down in an ambush. In fact, he interrupts him in the middle of his usual Bond One-Liner.(Dûgz the Legend knocks Talion to the ground for an ambush!)Tear: WHAT THE FUCK!? Who are YOU?!?
- Early in Episode 13 Tear witnesses a fight between a group of enemy Mooks and a group of his own until only one on both sides remained, Tear states his desire for his mook to win, only for both to kill each other at the same time, leaving Tear in hysterics.
- Episode 15 deserves a REALLY special mention. Why? Ûkrom Blood-Storm has returned as Ûkrom the Machine.
- Near the end of the episode, Tear attempts to have one of his recently branded Captains, Flogg Bow Master, kill the Machine. Flogg fails to do so not once, not twice, not even thrice, but FOUR times in a row! Tear is understandably ticked off. Seconds later, Flogg hits Tear in the back with an arrow and lights him on fire, finally pushing Tear over the edge. Then he starts deliberately attacking Flogg, who predictably betrays him. When Flogg finally does snap and calls him out, Tear gives one hell of a retort.
Flogg: So this is how the Ranger treats his soldiers. I shoulda known...Tear: Only the ones that underperform. PISS... OFF! (Tear then proceeds to cut off Flogg's arm, leg and stab him the back while's on the ground.) - Episode 16 has some highlights:
- When Carnan is fighting Tar-Goroth he sarcastically notes how a being made of wood is gonna beat the lava monster. He also notes on seeing a volcano fighting a tree wasn't something he expected to see today
- When he finds out the balrog fight isn't just Quick Time Events
Tear: It's like Punch-Out!! with mythical beasts.- And finally when Brûz betrays him and throws him off the tower.
Tear: (as his voice is getting further away) Just because I can't die doesn't mean this is okay! - All of Episode 19: After Tear tries to recruit orcs in Cirith Ungol, all of them end up betraying him. The only consolation is that he manages to recruit an Olog at the end of the episode- but said Olog is deranged, and betrays him in the next episode too, just before he dies from poison.
- Episode 28 is the one where Tear finally gets to Army of the Dead, AKA the one where your worst deceased enemies come back as zombies. Here are some of the highlights:
- Tear is not too happy about having to kill Brûz yet another time. He's even less thrilled by the fact that the camera won't cut away from its close-up on Brûz, forcing him to watch the Olog gesticulate silently.
- He also forgets that Brûz is Death Defying, so now he has to cut him down again. For like the sixth time.
- Tear gets facerolled by Tûgog Skull-Cracker and it looks like he's about to die yet again...and then Zûgor of the Black Gate, who we should remind you talked shit about Talion's dead family, pounces on Tûgog and beats him to death.
- Upon seeing Gaz's introduction (which is accompanied with sounds like someone eating a jawbreaker and peanut butter at the same time, to go with the disturbing mouth motions), Tear notes that, technically, he's fighting Brûz, or someone who claims to be him, a seventh time.
- After wiping out everybody but Zog, Talion ends up glitching out and diagonally floating up to a nearby ledge, complete with animation like he's walking on an invisible stairway.
- Finally, after completing the mission, the game takes this moment to spawn Daz, the last of Brûz's Blood Brothers, after a mission where Tear had to kill Brûz himself and one of his other Blood Brothers.Tear: But on the very big old plus side-(Daz screams in the background.)Tear: ...what?!
- And then Zûgor just beats Daz to death without much of a fight. The video ends with Brûz, Gaz, and Daz getting launched into the sun via Attack Pods.
Tear: Okay... guess thanks to my new best friend and bodyguard incarnate, you were right: That was indeed the "end of the line". Any more bloody Brûz brothers are barred from entry.- When he watches Hammerfist's flashback he is completely blindsided by him going nuts and killing everyone with his fists.
- Tear is not too happy about having to kill Brûz yet another time. He's even less thrilled by the fact that the camera won't cut away from its close-up on Brûz, forcing him to watch the Olog gesticulate silently.
- Episode 47 features what is quite possibly the most humiliating death for a Warchief of all time. To wit, he inadvertently kills his own bodyguard, watches the other one get killed by Tear without trying to intervene, and then manages to get stuck inside a wall, summon sappers on himself, and then get blown up by Tear seconds later. Tear himself puts it best.Tear: He killed himself! He managed to glitch his way into invincibility, living up to the name Lucky-Shot again! And what does he do? He summons himself a gaggle of pre-ejaculatory goddamn IEDs and pop goes the weasel and he's dead. He killed his own teammate, he watched the other one get humiliated, and then he successfully blew his own load. After breaking the universe and finding a way to just be unkillable.
Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy
- The fact that Tear is even playing this game is hilarious. The fact he knows what he's getting himself into makes it even better.
- This comment on episode 1.
Robbiematronic: Me: checks subscriptions, sees thisRobbiematronic: Me: audibly Oh no.- The entire comments section is stuffed with reactions ranging from frustration at Tear's ineptitude, declarations that This Is Gonna Suck, and of course, puns.
- Round 2 doesn't go much better:
- Just like last time Tear knows exactly what he's getting into.
"It's safe to say there is much regret in my heart but ah well, here we are. Ah balls."- Right at the start Tear tires of Foddy's "encouragement" immediately and tells him to shut up:
Foddy: "That's a deep frustration, a real punch to the gut."Tear: "I'm gonna punch you in your goddamn nuts, never mind your gut! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"- Tear doesn't even last five minutes before his mind breaks completely from frustration and rage:
"Ha ha ha... oh I like going backwards daddy! FUCK ME UP MORE! THROW ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS BLINDFOLDED!- Right at the halfway point Tear botches a jump and falls all the way back to the start. He takes it about as well as you'd expect:
"I HAVE PLAYED THIS ON A DIFFERENT COMPUTER AND HAD AN EASIER TIME OF IT! Did he patch it? Did he patch it f-" (Tear falls) "Ah, well, that is just the best! You speak to me one more syllable you fucking condescending massive vaginal valley of crap I'M GONNA FIND YOU AND STICK SOMETHING IN YA!"- Right near the end of the video Tear suffers a fall but just barely manages to grab onto a ledge before reaching the bottom. After a few seconds of fumbling he then slips anyway and falls all the way back to the beginning AGAIN.
"Oh no, no, no! Ahhh! Oh fuck! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
Cuphead
- Upon seeing a living skeleton in the Storybook Opening:Tear: When you find a skele-man that still has a tongue in his head, that's- that's when it's time to put the drink down.
- After dying to Muffsky Chernikov:"FUCKING MUFFINS!"
- Tear calling Baroness Von Bon Bon a "squinty whore", for context Tear is calling her this after dying by getting directly shot by her with her shotgun which her animation has her squint while aiming.
- "DO THE PARRY, SHITHEAD!"
- "Stop sucking air, and suck Cuphead's weewee!"
- His... interesting interpretation of the magician enemy in "Funfair Fever":Tear: A magic man that tried to fiddle me at the gates. "Opening Soon"? If he had his way, that sign would be relating to my back door.
- "IS THAT A PRETZEL WITH GOOGLY EYES AND TEETH?!"
- After dying to the hot dog miniboss:"YOU. FUCKING. TASTY TREAT BITCH!"
- "If your baby throws one more thing at me, I'll be showering it with sulfuric acid."
- This wonderful part:Tear: (To Sally) I don't like you as a human being. I think you're a bit of a bitch, but I'm happy for- (Gets hurt by mouse toy) ...no-one, 'cause I FELL ON THE FUCKING RAT! (Sally dive-kicks him) YOU FUCKING UGLY BITCH! AGH, JUST FUCK OFF!
- His reaction to Mangosteen:"MAGIC 8-BALL WITH NIGHTMARE MOUTH! YEAAAAHHH-"
- The beginning to "WHAT A TERRIBLE NIGHT TO BE A CUP"Tear: Oh, Tales from the Borderlands is free on Games With Gold? You know what else is free? Anal violation. Doesn't make me wanna play that.
- He mentions that "Ruse Of An Ooze" sounds like a campy Hentai title.
- "Ah, yes. Nightmare. I remember this bit. Wasn't me favey-gravy-baby."
- His sudden Scottish accent during Expert Mode!Cagney Carnation's final phase:Tear: Get right fucked, by the wae! I'M IN YOUR FACE! (beats him) I did it! In only ten minutes for ye, ya wee li'l petal! I fucked you right up! I hit you so fuckin' hard, I knocked you daisy! (In normal voice) It's uh... meant to be "Dizzy", just in case you couldn't figure out the accent.
- His whole rant while fighting Hilda Berg on Expert Mode:Tear: (Misses a parryable bullet) Why? Every time something good's about to happen, like a pink bullet coming in for me to parry so I can get something good, you either scream a "HA!" right in the same line as it, or twister me away from the fucker. There's a reason that you're a blimp on a unicycle in the middle of the sky with no-one around, Hinda. IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING BITCH AND NO-ONE LIKES YA!
- In the Expert Mode version of "Threatenin' Zeppelin", a pink bullet appears while he's avoiding an attack. The way he says it makes it even funnier:Tear: (laughing) Have a pink bullet during when they're shooting agaiiiiiiin!
- Also from the Expert Mode fight: Tear's frustration with Sagittarius!Hilda's stars.Tear: (In a Jamaican accent) Hey, Brett! It's your favorite mon! We brought you Cupid with his magic homing stars! We know you like the magic stars that you need to- (unintelligible) -and I don't know why you tried to parry that. I don't know why this Jamaican thing's suddenly gone slightly Scottish, I don't really know what I'm doing any-fucking-more 'cause these stars are complete dogshit!
- His Expert Mode playthrough gives this gem during the fight with Djimmi the Great.(During Djimmi's "throw a bunch of treasure at you" attack during the first stage of the fight) OK, m'boy, you're aware that you can do something other than this? Because like five times in a row, it's been THIS! (Narrowly dodges a projectile) That was exceptionally close. Sorry, I'm going for my more calm and collected method of- (is hit) HAHAHAHAHA! "Calm collected" what the fuck's that? When my health is taken away, the only thing I'm collecting is salt. (quieter) Everything's fucking internet culture. Nobody uses the expression of anger, just "salty", oh "salty", oh "salty". I AM NOT A PACK OF LAYS!
- What sells it is that he shows a bag of Lays chips on the screen right as he says the name.
- After the voice clip saying "Here's a real high-class bout!" plays:Tear: Oh, "high-class"! Maybe if it's over quick, I could have a first-class ticket! HA-HA!
- His complaints over Djimmi repeatedly using the "skull flies out of his face" attack:Tear: I like that every now and then, he just uses the skull thing, and like 3 runs in a row, he didn't- (dodges skull, but gets hit by a sword) -AND NOW HE WON'T STOP, YOU FUCKING NUNCE! (gets killed by a flying sword) Thank you, thank you for- for literally proving my point. You went to literally not using it at alllll, to it being your favorite new toy on Christmas, and you use it that much it breaks, 'cause you're a little brat of a child.
- This bit:
- Another Expert Mode gem: while fighting Sir Waffington III in "Sugarland Shimmy", he complains about the boss's higher HP, saying that he "has more hitpoints than a 50's housewife".
- This glorious bit during the Expert Mode fight against Beppi the Clown:Tear: (Gets hit by roller coaster passenger) OHHH, YOU PIECE OF- I THOUGHT IT- NGHHH! EAT MY WINKY! Stupid bloody roller coaster! (Unintelligible) Oh, it's just the gift that never stops arriving, it's that neighbor that makes noise complaints every day of your life! (Gets hit by coaster) OH GOD! REALLY GLAD THAT GAP TIMED UP WITH THE ROLLER COASTER! EAT MY BUM! (Dies) Oh, lick my pooper and suck my fuckin' chode!
- The song he sings on his final attempt:
Tear: (To the tune of the overworld theme from Super Mario World) Knobs!(X13) Please just shitting die, I don't wanna have to cry! DI-IE YOU SACKOUS CLOWNY FUCKING CUNT! (A Knockout!) HALLELUJAH, SUPER MARIO 2! My head, it really hurts, but 'least I've done that! And now I don't have to fight the face-painting twat! - The beginning of "BIRD BRAINED BURNING RAGE"Tear: Cuphead, it's the Cuphead! Haaave a really lot of screamy time, wanna slit my wrists sometimes, that's not PG at all, we're demonitised alreadyyyyyy!
- After he flubs a sentence:Tear: "Bloody buddy say". Oh, LOL, ROFL! Brett can't speak again. Who's heard this one before? Everyone, let's all fuckin' sing along! (Singing) BRETT'S A FUCKIN' RETARD, CAN'T EVEN SPEAK! EVEN THOUGH HE DOES IT FOR A LIVING!
