Funny / Son of the Sannin

---

Warning: Spoilers Off applies to these pages. Proceed at your own risk.

---

Introductory Arc

• Chapter 1:
  • While Jiraiya and Hiruzen are talking about what they're going to do with Naruto, they hear Tsunade arguing with the guard outside the door, who won't let her in. So what does she do? Bring down the door (and the guard) with a single punch.
  • Their bantering about why each of them should raise the kid. Tsunade argues that she should do it because she's Naruto's closest living relative and has experience raising Shizune, while Jiraiya counters that taking care of a baby costs money that she's unlikely to have with her gambling debts.
  • At the end of the chapter, Jiraiya jokes that he's gonna turn Naruto into the biggest pervert Konoha has ever seen, and teach him everything he knows to turn him into a Chick Magnet. Then he adds "Oh yeah, and you'll be a great ninja too. I guess that's important as well".
• Chapter 2:
  • Tsunade and Jiraiya might be legendary as ninjas, but nothing could have prepared them for the horrors of raising a baby Naruto, who seemingly loved to throw tantrums at the worst moments.
  • One of the few things that could get Naruto to calm down during his tantrums was letting him cling to Tsunade's chest. Tsunade notices that he seems happy when she starts to undo her blouse and thinks that Jiraiya might be rubbing off on him.
  • Hiruzen asks for Jiraiya for help to try and find evidence to clear the Uchiha Clan of suspicion of the Kyubi's attack. Jiraiya points out that it'll take time and thus leave him less to keep writing his Icha Icha books.
  Hiruzen: Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the greater good, Jiraiya, regardless of how painful they may be.
  • The end of the chapter, Jiraiya and Tsunade finally seem to have a moment's rest and decide to get some sleep. Cue Naruto waking up and crying...
  Tsunade: I hate that kid so much...
• Chapter 3:
  • Jiraiya and Tsunade are summoned to Mount Myoboku to see Gamamaru, who has something important to tell them. They sit and wait expectantly... and then the old toad sage just falls asleep on them.
  Shima: WAKE UP YOU OLD GEEZER!
  • The Sannin go for a few drinks to try and forget the prophecy made by Gamamaru. The next morning, they wake up in bed, together... and naked.
    • Worst of all, Shizune comes to wake Tsunade up, and catches them while they're in the middle of trying to get dressed in a hurry.
  • At the end of the chapter, Tsunade and Jiraiya realize that living together has made them start to feel attracted to one another, but decide not to hurry things. You know what happens next...
    • The next morning, Shizune wakes up and sees that Tsunade's bedroom is unusually clean and neat. Then she goes downstairs...
  Shizune: OH DEAR KAMI! THAT'S THE ONLY COUCH WE HAVE!
• Chapter 4:
  • Shizune continues to find Jiraiya and Tsunade having sex. It gets to the point she needs to ask them to limit it to their house.
  • In what is an otherwise very serious scene (namely, the discussion about what to do with the Hyuga affair), Jiraiya's inner monologue to Danzo praising his plan to call Kumo's bluff.
  Narration: Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, then shruddered. A compliment from Danzo. He never felt so dirty.
  • Once their plan succeeds, Jiraiya gives the Raikage a peace offering. Namely the next installment of his Icha Icha series before it hits the bookstores. The Raikage is disgusted by the thought, but Killer B on the other hand...
  Killer B: Come on bro, don't be such a fool, this book you just threw is pretty cool!
  • And after they leave, he muses that thanks to his sunshades, they never noticed he was staring at Tsunade's boobs the whole time.
• Chapter 5:
  • Tsunade is on a rage because Shizune hid her sake. Of course, she did it because Tsunade is pregnant and she can't drink without causing harm to the baby. Cue Big "NO!".
  • When Shizune meets Hinata, she reveals to her that Naruto defended her from three bullies. Shizune is amused because Naruto told her they were ten and as big as Jiraiya.
• In Chapter 6, poor Naruto is left lying on the ground and with bruises all over his body by Tsunade's Training from Hell, and she points out that was just the warmup. Internally, he muses that he's never going to call Jiraiya's chakra control and meditation exercises boring ever again.
• Chapter 7:
  • Naruto drives Jiraiya nuts by asking Are We There Yet? over and over again. Luckily for the Sannin, they reach their destination when he's almost reached his limit.
  • Naruto finds Kankuro's training puppets. Fittingly enough, he first assumes they belong to Temari, and she quickly corrects him.
  Temari: Actually, they're Kankuro's.
  Naruto: [holding his laughter] Really? You play with dolls?
  Kankuro: [angrily snatches them back] They aren't dolls, they're PUPPETS!
  • Naruto mistakes Yashamaru for a woman, and just to be sure he asks Temari if she's a girl. Jiraiya facepalms, internally calling Naruto "the nightmare of every diplomat".
• Chapter 8:
  • Noticing how many of the Hyuga men have feminine looks, Naruto ventures to ask if Neji is a guy. Hikari remarks that not many are lucky enough to come out with manly features like her husband Hiashi.
  • And she also notices that Hinata fights with more spunk when Naruto is around. She quickly makes a note to bring him more often.

Uchiha Insurrection Arc

• This arc is pretty dark, but it still has a few funny highlights:
  • Anko casually flirting with Zabuza Momochi, who's guarding the bridge to the Hokage's Tower. She even calls him Tall, Dark, and Handsome.
  • This exchange after Kurenai shows up to help her and reveals who Zabuza is:
  Anko: Too bad your boyfriend isn't here, we could use a jonin right now.
  Kurenai: [blushing] What are you saying? Asuma is not my boyfriend!
  Anko: I never mentioned Asuma by name, did I?
  • Two Chunin and two Jonin are sent to arrest Tsunade. Her response?
  Chunin: If you resist arrest, we will- [cue Megaton Punch] AAAAARGGGH!
  Tsunade: (innocently) Excuse me, were you saying something?
  • Jiraiya's reaction when he finds out he's been named the new Hokage.

Academy Days Arc

• Chapter 13:
  • Ebisu teaches the academy students how to use their chakra to walk up trees. Naruto does it on the first try and when asked how he did it, he flashbacks to when Tsunade taught him... by setting the tree ablaze while he's still on it.
  Naruto: (freaked out) WHAT THE HELL?!
  Tsunade: (calmly) Climbing is easy with enough practice. Staying in the same place for a long time, not so much. I want you to stay like that for five minutes. The fire is to make sure you're motivated enough not to fall.
  • Gai goes to make a request to Jiraiya on behalf of Lee, since the Academy's new standards have left him at a major disadvantage to become a ninja without Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. Jiraiya tells him that Lee would have to achieve an impressive level of Taijutsu, so Gai says that he'll get it done. Jiraiya's only response is a Flat "What".
• Chapter 14:
  • Due to the changes in the Ninja Academy's standards, Sakura goes from the top student in her class to the dead last. Especially when it comes to Taijutsu, even Hinata and Tamaki are able to kick her ass without much effort. Ino goes from calling her "Forehead Girl" to "The Pink Punching Bag".
  • Hinata's mother has noticed that her daughter's chest is growing and wonders if it's time to buy her a bra. Cue Hinata covering herself in embarrassment, and later appearing with a baggy coat.
  • Naruto offers to teach Sakura and Karin how to boost their strength using her chakra like Tsunade does. Sakura buries her whole fist into it, and cracks it more than any of the others. She's delighted.
  Karin: Uh... Naruto? Do you think she's going mad with power?
  Naruto: Well I believe it's the rush of having a new technique. It should wear off soon.
  Hinata: And if she... doesn't?
  Sakura: [reducing the boulder to rubble] YES! YES! I'M SAKURA THE UNSTOPPABLE! SAKURA THE INVINCIBLE! TREMBLE EVERYBODY, AND DESPAIR! YOUR DOOM HAS COME TO THIS WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
  Naruto: [scared] Dad says the Land of the Crescent Moon is a nice place to live.
  • Naruto and company's reaction to Lee and Guy's antics as they celebrate that Lee managed to graduate? Get away before things get any weirder.
  • A bit of Black Comedy: Jiraiya decides to teach Naruto the Shadow Clone jutsu, even sending a clone to do so since he's busy. After he explains how it works, Naruto pulls out a kunai and stabs the clone, exploding it into smoke. Ten minutes later, another clone shows up to scold Naruto for trying to kill him.
  Jiraiya (clone): Seriously brat, don't do that again!
• Chapter 15:
  • The formation of the genin teams:
    • Naruto grabs Hinata and Haku into a hug as he celebrates loudly being placed in the same team with his friends, forcing Iruka to shut him up. Hinata, despite blushing furiously, is not bothered in the least.
    • Sasuke asks if there's some mistake after being placed in the Medical Squad with Sakura and Karin, and remarks that he could tolerate one of them, but not both.
    • Tamaki is not happy to be placed with Kiba, whom she calls a fleabag. Kiba in turn calls her "apprentice of a Crazy Cat Lady". Shino just lets out a sigh.
    • Iruka privately muses that he's happy they're now someone else's problem.
  • The Animal Squad is placed under Kakashi, who takes his sweet time to arrive after the rest of the teams are long gone with their respective senseis.
  Kiba: I believe they forgot about us.
  Tamaki: Maybe our sensei is late?
  Kiba: No, late would be fifteen or twenty minutes. I mean, the other senseis only took ten minutes to arrive while we have been waiting here for almost an hour."
  Shino: I suggest patience. This man is a Jonin, and thus somebody serious worth of his rank. I'm positive that he'll have an acceptable reason for not being on time.
  [Two hours later]
  Kiba: Where the hell is this guy!?
  Shino: Regardless of what I said before, I'm starting to believe that either our sensei forgot about us, or the Hokage forgot to tell him about us. In either case, an unacceptable behavior from either our sensei or the Hokage,"
  • When Asuma mentions his dreams about marrying a nice woman and starting a family, Ino is quick to catch that he's got his sights on Kurenai. He quickly regrets not keeping his trap shut.
  • Sakura and Karin having Imagine Spots of chibi versions of themselves getting attacked, and then of being rescued by Sasuke. To make it even more hilarious, the scenario playing out in their heads also involves them healing a wounded ninja... who promptly dies of his wounds because they were too busy fawning over Sasuke.
  • Shino calling Kakashi out on trying to skip on telling them about himself. And then, he almost skips letting Shino introduce himself. He is not amused.
  • Kurenai initially assuming that she got an almost all-female team. Naruto laughs before telling her that Haku is a boy.

First C-Rank Mission Arc

• Chapter 16:
  • Naruto is excited for getting his first mission. One hour later, he and the others are stuck painting a fence.
    • Naruto admits it does give him some time to think... about his eventual revenge on Jiraiya for giving him that mission, musing that it'll be stuff of legends.
  • Zabuza returns from the mission Jiraiya assigned him, namely, protecting Tazuna from Gato and his thugs while he finishes building the bridge. He has this to say about it:
  Zabuza: Let me tell you something: had Gato hired me, that bridge builder would have been dead before he even set foot on his little country.

  • And for good measure, he raided Gato's vault and came back with a sack loaded of money. Go figure.
  • Shizune's medical squad is getting their own D-Rank mission, namely babysitting Jiraiya's and Tsunade's kids. Nothing too much, until it's revealed that one of them has Wood Release of all things.
  Sakura: I demand this mission to be re-classified into an A-Rank!
  Karin: Seconded!
• The starting scene in Chapter 17. Naruto is sparring with Hinata and accidentally knocks her into the river. He becomes flustered when he sees her all wet, it's both funny and adorable.

Chunin Exams Arc

• Chapter 20:
  • Shino's reaction upon seeing Fu for the first time.
  Nobody could tell the difference, but Shino was speechless
  • At the same time, this exchange happens:
  Ino: My gossip senses are tingling. It feels like... like a boy we know developed a crush on a girl he just met!
  Shikamaru: You can sense people's relationships? Troublesome.
  Choji: 'Scary' is the word I'd use.
  • After giving the go by his teammates, Shino goes to meet Fu, who is quite pleased to see a boy interested in her. She even offers to let him touch her wings if he wants, but he's too flustered to accept.
  • Fu then offers Shino to give him a flight so he gets a full view of Takigakure, and doesn't take a no for an answer when he tries to refuse.
  Fu: I know some people are a bit afraid the first time they fly, but trust me, you're going to enjoy this!
  Narration: Shino was too terrified to protest or even scream.
  • During dinner, Jiraiya tells Naruto that he shouldn't get too caught in his rivalry with Sasuke, to what Tsunade reminds him of how obsessed he was with beating her and Orochimaru when they were teammates.
    • Jiraiya then replies that it was different, and that he surpassed them anyway, to what Tsunade is not amused. Shizune quickly becomes terrified because she knows that their house wouldn't survive a fight between them.
• Chapter 21:
  • Naruto accidentally bumps into the Sand Siblings, who have come for the Chunin exams. Kankuro feels annoyed that Naruto doesn't recognize him at first, and only realizes who he is when he sees Temari.
  • Killer B arrives with his team to Konoha's entrance. When asked for his passport, he gives the guards an autographed photo of himself doing a rapper pose. When he finally delivers his passport, turns out it has the same photo.
    • Furthermore, it's pretty hilarious to see how the genin under him are more mature and serious than him.
  • Once the Konoha 15 assemble in the meeting spot, we get funny moments aplenty:
    • Lee introduces himself, and the first thing he does is challenging Naruto and Sasuke. Neji and Tenten remark that he's "unusually" relaxed today.
    • And when he declares his crush on Sakura, Karin quickly becomes a Shipper with an Agenda.
    • Fu shows up falling in front of them like a meteor, and the first thing she does is hugging Shino in front of everyone. To top it off, she reminds him of their previous encounter:
    "By the way, my offer of letting you touch them still stands."
  • After Shisui explains the rules for the first stage of the exam and warns everybody he has "eyes everywhere", a genin named Maseo makes fun of him by remarking "Except on the right side of your face". Shisui quickly body-flickers on him and quickly disqualifies his team for it. His teammates quickly glare daggers at him for it.
  • As soon as the first stage begins, Ino senses that somebody else they know has gotten a crush on someone. Shikamaru assumes it's Lee, but Ino replies that it's not him. Turns out it's Haku, who took a look at Tenten.
  • In less than half an hour, over half of the teams have failed due to breaking the rules. This makes it easier for the remaining ones to get their scrolls to pass:
    • Shino "convinces" the scroll bearer his team captures to hand it over, in exchange for him telling his kikai beetles to get off of him. The scroll bearer is quick to comply.
    • When the Medical Squad gets their scroll, Sasuke tells Sakura and Karin "Good job you too," and quickly diverts the gaze to avoid seeing them blush.
    • Fu catches a scroll bearer and takes him for a flight. She kindly offers to put him down safely on the ground if he hands it over, so he complies. But... she forgets that she's holding him and accidentally drops him when she grabs the scroll. She quickly flies down to catch him by the ankles before he smacks face first on the ground.
    Fu: Oops.
    Shisui: (teleporting in from behind) Team Fu from Taki, passed!
    Fu: Yes! (pumps her fists in the air, and the scroll bearer falls face first on the ground) Oops... sorry!
    • Tenten ambushes a scroll bearer and traps him with a bunch of throwing spears, forming a small cage. The guy denies having a scroll, but Neji uses his Byakugan to find it and retrieves it for them. After they pass, they leave, but...
    Scroll bearer: (still trapped in the cage) Hey, don't leave me here!
    • Naruto and his team catch their scroll bearer setting a slippery ice floor with Haku's help. Shisui teleports in to announce they've passed... but he steps on the ice and falls on his butt as well.
    Haku: Uh... sorry. Does that mean we still pass?
  • During dinner after clearing the first stage, when Naruto tells him all of his classmates made it through, Jiraiya is all too proud of himself for increasing the academy's standards. Shizune and Tsunade can only roll their eyes.
• Chapter 22:
  • Zabuza explains the rules for the second stage of the Chunin exams, which takes place in a lake full of wrecked ships. Each team will be given a row boat to sail and if it gets destroyed, they'll have to find other ways to travel, like walking on water. The Konoha genin smile with pride, while others who didn't learn that gulp in fear.
  • The Medical Squad finds their treasure chest, but they end up running into Fu's team.
  Fu: It's so nice to see you again! Sorry we have to fight. I hope this doesn't deter us from becoming friends later.
  Sakura: ... is this girl for real?
  • Team Gai arrives to the frigate on the second day, and Lee calls "unyouthful" of them to have arrived so late. In typical fashion, he self-imposes one of his training punishments (running one hundred laps around Konoha on his hands, while carrying a boulder).
    • And he resumes his courting of Sakura, to which Karin says to Sasuke they should Leave the Two Lovebirds Alone.
• Chapter 23:
  • The preliminaries begin. Fu's teammates are forced to throw their matches to avoid punishment for being jonin. The first one, Kegon, decides to do so... by feigning cat allergy when faced against Tamaki.
  • Shikamaru is pitted against Temari earlier than in canon. The two are quick to analyze each other as mid-range specialists, though Temari points out she's also trained in melee combat. Shikamaru remarks that she didn't need to say it, because her "mannish arms" speak for themselves.
  Temari: Just because my arms are strong doesn't mean they're mannish!
  • How does Naruto defeat Sakura? With his Uchiha Harem Jutsu, causing her a massive Nose Bleed that rockets her to the ceiling. Most of the other females present, including Ino, end up having similar reactions, while the older ones have a mixture of dissapointment and anger. Sasuke, for his part, is not amused in the least.
• Chapter 24:
  • Hinata is pitted against T, who praises her abilities... and her looks.
  T: You're good too, not to mention pretty.
  Hinata: (surprised) ...p-pretty?
  T: Sure. Short hair doesn't look good on many girls, but you manage to pull it off. Plus you have a really soft skin! You have to tell me what you use to-
  Karui: Goddamit, T! Stop flirting with the enemy! Focus!
  • Fu manages to snatch Karasu from Kankuro's grasp by producing stronger chakra threads, and tries to use it to defeat him. Key word being tries.
  Fu: Now your toy is mine! (tries to move Karasu but only shakes it around as if giving it seizures) Boy, this is much harder than it looks!
  Kankuro: Of course it is! It takes years of practice to learn how to control a single puppet!
  • After Lee loses to Haku, he and Gai engage in one of their typical Man Hugs. Somehow the scenery around everybody turns into a beach sunset, waves and all.
  • When the matchups for the finals are revealed, most everyone acknowledges their respective opponent, either with determination or nervousness in Choji's case. Karin tries to glare at Fu to challenge her, but the Taki jinchuriki just smiles and waves at her:
  Karin: (sighs) There's no way to create an epic rivalry with this green-haired moron...
• Chapter 25
  • Naruto and his team go to eat at Ichiraku's, and to celebrate their victories in the preliminaries, Teuchi and Ayame give them the first bowl on the house. Ayame quickly reminds them it's just the first bowl, lest that Naruto's bottomless stomach would end up bankrupting them.
  • The jonin are trading drinks at a bar, and Kurenai remarks that the fact that no veterans made it that far speaks poorly of them and their sensei. Asuma quickly counters she's bragging because she's the only one whose entire team passed the preliminaries.
  • While Shizune is training Sakura and Karin, the latter wonders why they're both training since Sakura didn't make it to the finals. Shizune replies that just because of that it doesn't mean she should neglect one of her students, asking "What kind of neglectful sensei would do that?". Elsewhere, Kakashi sneezes.
  • Naruto approaches Killer B to see if he could train him to control his Tailed Beast. In the end he refuses, and the Nine Tails finds it amusing.
  Kurama: Nice work, champ.
  Naruto: Shut up you furball!
  • At night, Tsunade and Jiraiya discuss about the training on Elemental Ninjutsu for Kaida and Hagane is going, and they ended up discovering that Hagane might have a new Bloodline Limit.
  Jiraiya: Ha! My genes are so good that not only they did awake a powerful dormant Bloodline Limit, but they created a completely new one from scratch!
  Tsunade: Yeah, keep thinking that. (takes a sip) I think that I've had enough. I'm going to bed. Wanna have sex?
  Jiraiya: (huge grin) Do you really need to ask?
  Tsunade: Yeah, that was dumb.
• Chapter 26:
  • Shikamaru is happily watching the clouds, when Temari shows up to interrupt trying to pick a fight with him. After some bickering and refusing to fight, he suggests to her to do something to ease the tension and relax, like watching the clouds. She says no... and a second later she's laying down next to him.
  Temari: I hate you.
  Shikamaru: I'm sure you do.
  • Naruto tries to approach Fu to talk from jinchuriki to jinchuriki. The girl delights in playing dumb by pretending that she didn't realize he was a jinchuriki like her, and also that she doesn't remember who Shino is.
  • The omake of What Could Have Been. Naruto gets Killer B to teach him... by bringing Tsunade to seduce him wearing a Little Black Dress.
• Chapter 27:
  • Jiraiya notices that Rasa and A end up choosing the seats furthest away from each other in the Kage box. He wonders if there's some bad blood between them, or if assholes like them just tend to repel each other like magnets of the same pole.
  • In the stands, Tsunade is holding her betting tickets like they were babies, having betted all of her savings on Naruto. Shizune snarks that she already jinxed it.
  Tsunade: Shizune, if I didn't bet all my money on Naruto, I'd imply I don't have enough faith in him, and that would make me a bad mother. By doing so, I'm showing both Naruto and everybody else how much I trust his skill. You could say is my duty as a mother to bet all my money on him.
  Shizune: Wow...your brain must be sore after all the mental gymnastics you went through to justify your bullshit, Tsunade-sama.

  • Then Tsunade mutters something under her breath, and Kaida gasps in horror and tells her she can't use that word.
  • After his fight with Haku, Sasuke demands that Karin heals him. However, rather than happily complying, she forces him to ask her politely, surprising Naruto.
  Naruto: Did... did... Did Karin-neechan... give Sasuke... attitude?
  • While fighting Karui, Choji uses the Reverse Multi-Size Jutsu to dodge her attack by shrinking himself until he vanishes from sight:
  Karui: The hell? Where is he?
  Choji: (in a tiny high-pitched voice) Down here!

  • Then, he proceeds to attack her in that size: "OW! MY EYE!" "OW! MY OTHER EYE!"
  • Barely defeating Choji, Karui ends up earning a lot of boos from the crowd. Her response is to give them the finger.
  • In the stands, Ino is angry that Choji didn't avenge her defeat from the preliminaries, remarking that she promised Choji an all-you-can-eat buffet if he won. Shikamaru reminds her that her wallet dodged a deadly shuriken for that one, and she agrees.
  • Temari's nickname for Shikamaru: "Pineapple Head".
  • While watching the Naruto vs. Temari fight, Ino complains that Shikamaru isn't motivated in the least, and that he doesn't care whether Naruto avenges him or not.
  Ino: Come on Shikamaru, where is your pride?
  Shikamaru: I think I left it at home, alongside all my fucks to give regarding revenge.
  • Hagane, Kaida and Shizune happily cheer Naruto's victory against Temari. Tsunade, on the other hand, is too busy cashing in her winning tickets.
• Chapter 28:
  • Naruto confides on Fu about his feelings for Hinata, and she gives him some good advice, even suggesting that he gives her a good kiss once the match is over. He thanks her and they go back to watch the ongoing match.
  Naruto: Come on Hinata! You can win this!
  Fu: Go Tamaki! Kick her ass! (Naruto glares at her) What? Hinata might be your crush, but I don't know her at all, while Tamaki is a friend of mine.
  • Naruto wishes Tenten good luck on her match on behalf of Haku and winks at her. Hinata then tells him that was sweet of him... and then adds that she doesn't want him to do that ever again.
  • When Karin enters the stadium for her match, she calls out to Neji in the stands. This doesn't go unnoticed by Hikari and Hanabi, who ask him if he's dating her. He denies it, but Hikari says that after the tournament is over, they'll have a talk about it.
  • After defeating Karin, despite the boos from the crowd, Fu breaks into a victory dance. Yugao has to yell at her to knock it off, lest she'll be disqualified for misconduct.
• Chapter 29:
  • Sasuke fights Karui, and the two engage in a sword duel. The latter breaks the former's katana, who angrily has to replace it with a spare one:
  Sasuke: I can't believe you forced me to use my spare katana. Now Shisui will never let me live this down.
  Shisui: (from the stands) Ha! And Sasuke said that bringing a spare katana was unnecessary! I'm going to make sure he never hears the end of it!
  • Naruto and Hinata go out to the arena to battle each other. From the stands, Kaida and Hagane decide to cheer him up:
  Hagane: Go Naruto-niisan!
  Kaida: But don't hit Hinata too hard or she won't want to marry you!
  Naruto: (thinking) God damn it, why can't they keep those brats silent? (looks at Hinata, who is blushing and looking at the ground in embarrassment) Great, they made Hinata upset!
  • When the battle between Gaara and Fu is about to begin, the Taki girl angrily announces she hasn't forgotten what Gaara did, and she hasn't forgiven him. Gaara doesn't get what she means, until she explains: she's mad because he knocked Shino off the tournament and as his friend (and hopefully something else one day), she has to avenge him.
  • During the fight, Fu manages to get back up after a major beating in a daze, and asks Gaara if he's gonna ask what do they feed her, since almost everybody since she arrived at Konoha has been asking her that.
  • While it precedes a rather tense moment, Shibuki's Oh, Crap! moment before Fu drinks the Hero Water to defeat Gaara is worth mentioning.
  • The finalists have been decided: Naruto, Sasuke and Gaara are about to enter a three-way fight. However, Rasa demands that Naruto and Sasuke fight each other first, lest that they team up against Gaara first so they can fight each other last. Jiraiya isn't amused, but ultimately complies after being given a deal.
• Chapter 30:
  • Hinata wakes up at the infirmary, and shares a tender moment with her mom. She then laments that she can't see Naruto's final match, until Hikari reminds her that she can:
  Hikari: Hinata, did you forget about the Byakugan? Being lovesick certainly messes with one's mind.
  Hinata: (blushing) Oh, right. Sorry.
  • Tsunade is already listing the things she wants after cashing in her tickets: a new bigger house (with staff), a private onsen, and a private massage therapist.
  • As soon as the battle begins, Naruto is forced to summon the toad Ryoko, who complains of being used as a meat shield so quickly. But as soon as he sees the large crowd around watching the match, he's happy to help and show off his skills.
  • When Sakura sees that Sasuke got himself a summoning contract, she asks Shizune if she can get her one too. Shizune explains that for the summoning jutsu they need high chakra reserves, and she'd have to do some training to build up endurance first:
  Shizune: Maybe I could ask Gai to give you some more intensive physical training if you wish.
  Sakura: Training with Gai-sensei...? [beat] He won't make me wear a jumpsuit, will he?
  • After Naruto defeats Sasuke with the Rasengan, Killer B and Gyuki quickly realize that it's based on the Tailed Beast Ball attack. Killer B remarks that the kid has talent for someone so immature, to what the Eight-Tails replies he's not one to talk about immaturity.
  • Tsunade's Big "NO!" after Naruto loses to Gaara in the final match, and thus she loses all the money she won during the tournament. Shizune has No Sympathy when telling her "I did tell you so".
• Chapter 31:
  • The promotions for Chunin go underway, with Tenten getting the first one. She quickly joins Gai and Lee in one of their hugs. Neji's thoughts about it:
  "The sun began to set even if it was eleven in the morning, and the Hokage Monument was suddenly replaced by a beach with waves crashing against the shore. And for a split second, Neji swore he saw Tenten wearing a green jumpsuit, orange leg warmers, and her hair sporting a bowl haircut as opposed to her usual twin buns. And during that moment, the idea of becoming a missing nin became increasingly alluring for the Hyuga prodigy."
  • To top it off, in the spur of the moment, Haku approaches to congratulate her. But he doesn't even finish before Tenten grabs him and kisses him, earning a chorus of "ohhhhhhs" and "awwwwwws" from everyone.
  • Jiraiya decides to yank Naruto's chain when he's about to give him his promotion, telling him that promoting him would be nepotism, and that he'll have to wait until he retires from being Hokage. Naruto delivers a Big "WHAT?!"... and then turns out he was trolling him just to get his reaction and capture it in a photo forever.
  • Tsunade later tells Jiraiya that at first she thought his prank on Naruto was cruel, but admits it was Actually Pretty Funny, and demands an extra-large copy of the photo for the living room.
  • Before leaving Konoha, Fu has a couple of things to do:
    • First, she gives Karin a new pair of glasses to replace her broken ones, even with the right testing. Karin begins to ask how did she know... and then recalls somebody broke into her house the previous night and made a mess.
    • Second, she delivers her own Big Damn Kiss to Shino, who is left completely catatonic. Meanwhile, Tenten is happy that now they have another out-of-nowhere kiss to talk about instead of hers.
  • That night, the Konoha shinobi all go to a restaurant to celebrate, and while everybody is partying, Naruto takes Hinata out for a bit to confess his feelings for her. After she accepts to become his girlfriend, they go back in to tell everyone... and all hell has broken lose:
  Narration: Naruto's words died on his throat when he saw what was going on in the restaurant. There were several tables turned over, some of them even on fire, there was food smeared everywhere, people running around, fighting, and throwing food at each other, and Tsunade was strangling Kakashi with a bra –presumably her own, given the cup size.
  Naruto: Uh, Hinata?
  Hinata: Y-Yes, Naruto-kun?
  Naruto: Do you want to go back outside?
  Hinata: Yes, please.
  • Sakura gets up early to start her training with Gai and Lee. While she already dreads it, she has no idea what kind of training she's in for until she's handed some "light" weights for her wrists and ankles. Then, Hinata shows up, wearing the same weights after running twenty laps around the field, sweating like a waterfall and her face completely red (and for once not because of Naruto).
  Hinata: I...I want...I want to die...

Sound Invasion Arc

• Chapter 32:
  • While exhausted from Gai's training, Lee gives Sakura some encouragement, telling her of how Gai believed in him when nobody else did, and he wants to spread that feeling to others in turn. Sakura is touched by this... until Lee reminds her of the training they still have to go that day.
  Lee: Okay, now that we've rested enough, our training has to continue! One thousand sit ups, one thousand pushups, one thousand squats and a fifty kilometer race! Come on go!
  Narration: Sakura's smile turned into a grimace of hate and horror, as she groaned while she pulled herself up and prepared for the torture disguised as training.
  • Hanabi does some elemental chakra training with Hinata, and ends up asking her about how her relationship with Naruto has changed:
  Hinata: Well...we haven't been dating for that long, so I couldn't tell. We do spend less time together, but that's because of our new ranks. But yes, we do things we didn't do before, such as walking holding hands...or kiss.
  Hanabi: Ew! (shudders) Gross!
  Hinata: (giggling) When you grow older, you will change your mind, you'll see.
  • Kaida recognizes Karin from the Chunin exams. The redhead feels a little proud, until Kaida reminds her of how Fu beat her.
  • The Elseworlds omake at the end: it's a rehash of the Nine-Tailed Fox's attack reimagined as a Pokémon battle, complete with Gamabunta and Kurama talking in Pokémon Speak, and Minato using baby Naruto as a Master Ball to catch the fox. The biggest one, however, is Minato attacking Tobi during the battle, resulting in this exchange:
  Tobi: Wait a minute, did you just attack a trainer during a Pokémon battle!?
  Minato: I did. What about it?
  Tobi: That's against the rules!
  Minato: Screw the rules, I have money!
  Tobi: We're parodying Pokémon, not Yu-Gi-Oh, you dumbass!

• Chapter 33:
  • Even in the middle of the invasion, Jirobo calls out Tayuya for cursing in front of children.
  • Crossing with awesome: when Tayuya tries to grab Kaida, Hagane steps up and sends her flying with a punch.
  Tayuya: MY EYE! THAT FUCKING MIDGET GAVE ME A BLACK EYE!
  • Gai's reaction to being complimented on his haircut, and being told that is is 'youthful'. By The First Hokage. Gai actually faints with joy. Except they're still in the middle of the Sound Invasion, and now Kakashi has to fight the resurrected First Hokage all by himself.
  Hashirama: ...Would you believe me if I told you that I did NOT intend for that to happen?
  • Hashirama being genuinely flattered that he was 'mentioned' in Konoha's history books, when he's...himself.
  • When Tsunade shows up:
  Hashirama: You grew a lot, Tsuna. In some ways, more than I would have preferred.

• Chapter 35:
  • Jiraiya overpowers Minato's normal Rasengan with a Fire Rasengan of his own. Proud of himself, the Sannin then lets slip he used a clone to help complete the jutsu. Minato is happy... then realizes Jiraiya shouldn't have said that, and proceeds to do the same, succeeding on the first try much to Jiraiya's chagrin.
  • Minato's name for his Lightning Release Rasengan: Spiraling Thunder Blast Type Zero.
  • After Shisui releases Hashirama from Orochimaru's control, Tsunade lets out that he's soon to become her son-in-law. Hashirama comes up to him, and Shisui gets paralyzed in terror, thinking the first Hokage is about to kill him... only for Hashirama to grap him into a hug and happily welcome him to the family.
  • When Hashirama learns it's been over forty years since he died, and takes a look at Tsunade, he quickly asks her what's her secret to look that good.
  • The omake at the end shows a What Could Have Been scene titled "Jiraiya's Daring Escape". Orochimaru trapping him inside the Four Violet Flames Formation barrier. Orochimaru boasts there's no way Jiraiya can break the barrier, but he does have something to get out: summon a small toad and then reverse summon it along with himself.
  Jiraiya: Who's the fool now? (poofs out of existence)
  Jirobo: Uh... boss? Do you still need us to keep the barrier up?

Senju Twins Retrieval Arc

• The canon omake at the end of Chapter 41. Shizune gets her revenge on Tsunade over what happened in Chapter 3. And Shisui is more than happy to help her...
  Shizune: Oh yes, revenge is sweet! I've been wanting to do that for years!

Kirigakure Civil War Arc

• In Chapter 43:
  • Mei Terumi and Zabuza have an argument and decide to settle it with a duel who gets to be the next Mizukage. Jiraiya, knowing there are more pressing matters at hand, tries to stop them. Tsunade, on the other hand...
  Tsunade: Let them fight. Seeing them argue and bicker is way funnier than any of the soap operas I watch.
  • And the result of said duel. Mei said it would take her no more than ten minutes. It took her five.
  • Zabuza finding out about the "Great Zabuza Bridge".
  • The ending scene. Sakura approaches Sai, and compliments the painting he's making. Sai being Sai, you can expect how well this goes when he replies.
  Sai: Oh, sorry. I read in a book that a smile is a good way to show others your friendliness. But if I'm making you feel uneasy, I'll stop... ugly.
  Sakura: [eye twitching] The hell did you call me?!
  Sai: Oh, I also read in a book that giving nicknames is a good way to connect with people, and the best nicknames are the ones who define the-[cue Megaton Punch]
• The first omake in chapter 47 deals with Zabuza's time during the Wave mission. When Inari does his comment about how no one can defeat Gato, Zabuza releases a killing intent that scares the poor kid half to death... and calmly goes back to complementing Tsunami on her tea. Then he notices that both she and Tazuna are glaring at him and he fails to realize why.

Gaara Rescue Arc

• Catching Tora the cat apparently accounts for 15% of Konoha's mission income.
  • Really, the whole ordeal itself. Kaida gets fed up of chasing Tora around and decides to catch her using Wood Release, but before she can do so, the cat jumps her and scratches her all over the face.
• This exchange between Sasori and Hinata:
  Sasori: But you, a Main House Hyuga... you'll make a lovely puppet. Oh, I can't wait until I turn you into a work of art!
  Hinata: And I can't wait until I turn you into... uh... Naruto-kun is much better at this than I am.

Byakugan Princess Arc

Kakuzu and Hidan Arc

• Fu's trying to teach people how to fly.
  Hanabi: Nee-chan, do you think that this girl is qualified to teach us?
  Hinata: She may look a bit loopy, but Fu-sensei is a very strong kunoichi, and a Jonin. I'm sure we're in good hands.
  Fu: Okay, first of all we should- OH MY GOD, A SQUIRREL... Come here, squirrel! I want you to be my pet!
  Hinata: ...She's the only one who knows how to fly, so she'll have to do.
• Kakuzu uses a special barrier jutsu that wont die as long as a single focal point (in this case, Hidan) dies to trap Fu and the Animal Squad, leading to this exchange.
  Kakuzu: And if by some miracle you are able to kill Hidan... you will have my eternal gratitude.
  Hidan: Yeah! ... wait, what?

Yugito Arc

• Chapter 68
  • An Ame shinobi finds himself being seduced by a beautiful woman who turns out to have been Itachi. The narration rubs it in that his inability to realize it was a trap is one of the reasons he is still a genin.
  • Turns into a Brick Joke with the (ambiguously canon) omake at the end. The aforementioned Ame genin finds himself tied to a chair, and Itachi prepares to torture him with Tsukuyomi. How? Forcing him to watch the filler season of an anime series named Haruto.
  Itachi: Enjoy seventy two hours of mediocre writing, forgettable characters, cheap animation and nonsensical yet predictable plots.
  Yudachi: No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Utakata Arc

Roshi Arc

Root Arc

Akatsuki Invasion Arc

Five Kage Summit Arc

• Fu manages to succeed where many before her have failed and see what is under Kakashi's mask. How? She just asks him to show her.

Pre-Fourth Ninja War Arc

• After Hinata successfully removes Anko's Cursed Seal from her body, the latter is so grateful that she gives the former a hug, while still being naked from the waist up. Right then one of the Hyugas enters the room without knocking...
  Hyuga: I heard screams! Hinata-sama, are you-WHOA!
  Anko: Get lost, dumbass! Don't you guys ever knock!?
• The Genjutsu World counterparts. Special mentions:
  • A Haku obsessed with being manly, who names his attacks things like "Testosterone Blizzard" and "Iceberg of Manliness".
  • A saintly Tenten who is a medic-nin and prefers to heal than to hurt.
  • A death-obsessed goth Karin.
  • A Motor Mouth Shino.
  • A completely prude Jiraiya, who calls Fu out on "violating Konoha's dress code" and demands that she covers herself more.
• Genjutsu World!Hinata is reluctant to attack Dark!Naruto because he looks too much like the real one. There's a way around it, though:
  Naruto: In that case, try to imagine he did something that infuriated you. Maybe like a version of me who cheated on you with Sakura.
  Genjutsu World!Hinata: (gets her blood boiling in a heartbeat) YOU'RE SO FUCKING DEAD!
• Naruto finally gets to meet the spirits of his biological parents. They're happy and proud of him for his achievements, but for Kushina, there's one that stands out from the rest:
  Kushina: I mean, look at you! You're a Jonin at sixteen, who just tamed the most powerful tailed beast in existence, and most importantly, you have a cute girlfriend!
  Naruto: (blushing) Uh, drop it, Mom. You're making Hinata feel embarrassed.
  Kushina: (raising an eyebrow) Just Hinata?
• Afterwards, Naruto asks Fu how things went with her own Tailed Beast. Much to his shock and dismay, all she had to do was talk to Chomei to get her to cooperate, while he had to fight for his life and needed the help from his parents and Hinata. "Speak about fair", indeed.
• Fu has Chomei retract the chakra armor around her midriff area. When Naruto questions this, she dares him to punch her there to prove her point about not needing protection, promising to treat him some ramen if he can make her recoil. So he does... and ends up breaking his hand.
• Anko is the only one who seems giddy over the prospect of going to war, and also expressing disappointment about not being able to take part in the Kiri Civil War. Naturally, her students are rather disturbed.
• Karui threatens to break up with Choji if his performance in the war doesn't satisfy her. Obviously she gets mercilessly teased for this, given that she previously denied they were a couple. Meanwhile, Choji's all too happy to finally have a girlfriend.

Fourth Ninja War Arc

• The beginning of Chapter 104 has Fu trying to defeat Killer B in a lariat duel. And despite failing repeatedly, she does not give up.
• The way Anko replies to Edo Tensei!Mizuki's evil speech when he gets ready to fight her? Nope, he's not worth her time, so she dumps him on her students (who also were his students before her).
• The omake can be summed up in three words. Inkling. Mei. Terumi. Nuff said.
• The beginning of Chapter 107: Fu is moved that Naruto calls her "Sis", and admits she always wanted to have a little brother... to torment him before she proceeds to give him a noogie, prompting Naruto to take back what he said before.
  • Also, she mentions rather casually that she's much rougher with Shino, and that he's more than capable of handling her love. Hmm...
• Chapter 108 has Tamaki using an improved version of her Feline Aerial Bomber, while on fire!
  • Also, the fact that she and Kiba decide to go doing a Body-Count Competition. Shino is unsure whether he should scold them or see it as a good thing.
• In Chapter 110, the Raikage charges in and does a clean sweep with several Brute Zetsu clones, ending with doing a suplex on one of them and leaving a crater with lightning bolts. Then he sees that his troops haven't even moved, all of them too busy watching the show like fools.
  "What the hell are you looking at!? ONWARDS!"
• While most of Chapter 118 is full of serious fights, there's a funny bit when Kurenai, in a desperate move, tries a Groin Attack on Deidara, and he isn't even fazed. Her first thought is to assume that he's a woman, recalling her first meeting with Haku years ago, and even Deidara himself seems to find it amusing.
• Chapter 121 has the following:
  • Hashirama introducing himself twice to Naruto, the second time upon learning he's his adoptive great-grandson. Naruto annoyingly reminds him that he already knows who he is only from being the first Hokage. Even Mito needs to apologize for her husband's antics.
  • This exchange when Hashirama snatches Fu's giant club and tosses it away:
  Fu: ARBOR-CHAN! (Death Glare at Hashirama) You're so fucking dead!
  Hashirama: Technically, I'm dead right now.
  • Hashirama has a huge Jaw Drop when Fu stops his Thousand Armed Kan'on (his freaking strongest jutsu) using only her physical strength. Made better when she immediately predicts what his next reaction would be.
    Fu: Three, two, one...
    Hashirama: Just what do they feed that girl.
    Fu: (rolling her eyes) ...aaaaaaand there it is.
  • Also Naruto remarking that, if Shino survives his honeymoon with her, he'll be his hero.
• Chapter 127:
  • Jiraiya gets a brief scare when Tsunade reanimates Orochimaru's corpse to undo the Edo Tensei. Tsunade finds it amusing.
  • Gyuki's assessment of the situation when the Gedo Mazo statue begins unleashing its power:
    "Okay this is... bad. Very, very bad. Astronomically bad. Catastrophically bad. Killer B's rhymes-grade bad."
  • To match the power of Madara's Perfect Susanoo, Naruto tells Hinata to "ride [him] ". An embarrassed Hinata naturally takes it the wrong way and tries to say it's not the time for that, until Naruto clarifies he meant that her Avatar of Kalika rides Kurama like a steed.
• At the start of Chapter 132, the Konoha 15 crashland on the Valley of the End, all of them alive and well, but a mess of entangled bodies and limbs.