Funny / Shadow and Bone

Season 1

A Searing Burst of Light

• When Mal gets drafted for the mission into the Fold, Alina suggests he find a medical out.
  Alina: I could shoot you in the foot.
  Mal: You're a terrible shot.
• In a meeting between the Crows.
  Jesper: Here's what I don't get.
  Inej: We're gonna be here all night.
  Jesper: [barely offended] Rude.

We're All Someone's Monster

• After Kaz and Inej's argument, Inej joins Jesper at the bar, steals Jesper's shot, then leaves. Jesper orders another drink, which unfortunately comes at the same time as Kaz, who has just been overpowered by Pekka Rollins in his own office, arrives.
  Jesper: You all right, boss?
  Kaz: [downing Jesper's shot] No.
• In his quest to find the Conductor, Kaz approaches Poppy Cox — who promptly pulls a gun on him, due to Kaz stealing Poppy's shares of the Crow Club in a 'raw deal'.

The Making at the Heart of the World

• Alina blowing at the elaborate veil she's made to wear before meeting the King.
• Before Alina can eat her food, a taster comes in to test it for poison. Alina is more than a little horrified.
  Alina: Are... you being punished for something?
  Taster: Are you kidding? This is a plum gig! You can't believe how happy I was when the previous taster died! [slowly stops smiling] ...the food's great. I'm sure you'll love it, if I live.
• While making plans to cross the Shadow Fold, Arken says that the gang will need to collect twenty pounds of alabaster coal, a peck of jurda and (after looking Jesper up and down) a goat, prompting a 'wtf' expression on Jesper's part. This leads to Kaz striding about the town, looking most intimidating — with a small goat tucked under his arm.
• When the volcra are attacking Arken's train and it looks like they'll be too heavy to make it out of the Fold before they run out of fuel:
  Jesper: This is how we die?!?!
  Arken: Jesper, grab the goat!
  Jesper: I'm not throwing out the goat!
  Arken: Grab the damn goat! It's not bait, it's for you! I need you to calm down. Hug the goat. Shut the hell up.

Otkazat'sya

• We find Jesper, Inej and Arken in a tavern in Kribirsk, having made it through the Shadow Fold to Eastern Ravka, drinking/eating in awkward silence, before Jesper says out of the blue, "So...that went well." Cut to shots of last episode, with everyone in the train (save Kaz, who still looks pretty alarmed) screaming in terror, including Milo the Goat.
• Jesper bids a fond farewell to Milo the Goat, tying a bullet around its neck as a keepsake, leaving it in the tender care of a bemused barmaid, and blowing it kisses as he departs. All while Arken looks on in silence.
• Kaz's part of the heist has him done up as an eccentric sculptor, complete with fancy colourful scarves and a beret. He clearly steels himself for the task before putting on his Technically a Smile.
• As the Crows are trying to figure out what to do next, after they figure out they won't be able to break into the Little Palace:
  Jesper: Kiribirsk isn't the worst. We could open a bar, brew East Ravkan beer for the Westerners?
  Kaz and Inej: Shut up, Jesper.
  Jesper: I miss Milo.
  • Then it emerges that, while the Crows were carrying out the elaborate heist, Arken simply sabotaged the aerial silks act of a handy travelling theatre — complete with a shot of the unlucky performer slipping and landing hard.

Show Me Who You Are

• Alina and Nadia having a laugh at Marie's expense while she explains what happened after she panicked when a boy asked her out for the first time.
  Alina: So you set him on fire!?
  Marie: (defensively) It was an accident!
  Nadia: The Squallers had to launch him right into the lake
  Alina: So set ablaze, then nearly drowned? You make quite the first impression.

• Alina realizes Genya likes David.
  Alina: You never compliment anyone to their face.
  Genya: Not a word.
  Alina: (sarcastically) Ingenious.
• Kirigan says that Ivan is actually funny once you get to know him.
  Alina: I bet you find volcra hilarious.
• When Kirigan interviews Mal about his sighting of Morozova's Stag, the latter refuses to give up the location of the stag until he has a chance to see Alina. Kirigan challenges him to prove that he knows Alina by revealing something only he would know about her, which turns out to be that she likes blue irises. The next time Kirigan sees Alina, he presents her with a bunch of irises. It's a nasty hint of how manipulative Kirigan truly is...but it's also hilarious to see him stealing ideas off Mal in order to woo his crush, to say nothing of where he got the irises from in such a short space of time.
• Inej calls out Jesper for flirting with a stable boy rather than preparing their escape route.
• The Crows have lost Alina, Jesper barely managed to get their escape coach prepared, and Arken turned out to be a spy. Then Alina walks out and hides in their trunk.
  Jesper: Just ask.
  Kaz: [annoyed, gets onto the carriage]
  Jesper: Just ask.
  Kaz: [sighs] Do we have a lead on the target?
  Jesper: [laughs and drives off]

The Heart is an Arrow

• Nina, when told by Matthias to look away while he disrobes (so they can share body heat and stave off hypothermia) does so, but goes on about how there's nothing unique about Fjerdan men and he's just a man like all others — then she catches a glimpse of Matthias' muscled chest, and is lost for words.
  • When they're actually in the bed Matthias is still keeping very much to his side of it, so Nina orders him to get "Closer!" His brief look of horror and terror is a delight.
• Nina's satisfied smirk when she wakes up the next morning to find that Matthias has slung his arm over her in the night — followed by Matthias's mortified reaction when he wakes up seconds later.
• When trying to get out of the town, Jesper finds Kirigan's carriage and opens the doors — to find David Kostyk reading a book. Jesper grins and says hello, to which a panicked David throws the book at Jesper's head and scrambles out of the other side of the carriage, only to get whacked across the face by Kaz's cane and knocked out. Even funnier? A split-second shot shows that the book is actually a Ravkan "translation" of Shadow & Bone.
  Jesper: He threw a book at me.
• After the Crows steal the carriage and Kirigan is frustrated at their lack of progress in finding Alina, David sticks his hand up, precisely like a child in class.
  Kirigan: You don't need to put...(sighs and visibly gathers himself) Yes, David?
  • David then proceeds to explain how he can track Alina thanks to the ring that Genya gave her...which means everything that happened the previous night, from Polina getting killed to Kirigan being thwarted by Kaz, was all for nothing, and they've actually lost valuable time while Alina's been getting further away from them. Kirigan even has a moment of Stunned Silence at how simple it could have been.

The Unsea

• Alina says she needs to be the one to kill the stag. Mal is not impressed.
  Mal: [dead serious] You're a terrible shot, they made you cartographer for a reason.
• The Crows observe the railcar that brought them through the Fold, now being searched by two guards. Kaz assures Jesper and Inej that he memorized Arken's timing, so he can pilot the thing. "Arken and I think alike." And then the railcar explodes... just like he rigged their carriage to explode a few episodes back.
  Jesper: Is it too soon to note the irony?
• Jesper and Kaz knock out some men for their disguises. Kaz can't help move them because of his cane.
  Jesper: Convenient.

No Mourners

• Jesper is outraged at the age Kaz puts on his fake papers.
  Jesper: No one is going to believe I'm that old.
  Kaz: Keep telling yourself that.
  • And when Jesper shows them off and smirks "I know, I look good for my age," the guard just shrugs off how he thought Jesper was older than his paper date.
• Kirigan's reaction when the emissaries he brought along refuse to go along with his plans so he has to kill them all.
  Kirigan: Shame. Now I have to give that speech again.

Behind The Scenes

• During one interview with the main cast where they had to guess things about each other, they had to guess Ben Barnes' favourite film... and everyone pranked him, picking films he'd starred in instead. Barnes ends up staring into the middle distance in resignation.
  • Another short behind the scenes clip has the main cast imitating the famous "Fine, make me your villain" line, to which Ben reacts by saying:
  Ben: [glaring intensely] Spoiler: I'm the bad guy. [Record Needle Scratch, he switches back to his normal tone] Actually, I'm not. I'm alright.
• The blooper reel:
  • Freddy Carter repeatedly trying to throw a coin purse through a gate, and celebrating with a fist pump when he finally makes it.
  Freddy: [walking away to start the scene yet again] Not funny anymore!
  • Zoe Wanamaker swearing when she messes up her lines - especially hilarious if you've seen the Harry Potter series and remember her as Madam Hooch, or know that when she was younger, she toyed with the idea of becoming a nun!
  • Daisy Head between takes, having to spit out the food she's eating for a scene.
  Daisy: [with her hand up to her mouth] It's so caramel-y... I'm just gonna spit it out.
  • Amita Suman banging her elbow on a window frame, instantly ruining the drama of a scene.
  • Sujaya Dasgupta repeatedly failing to manage a wink during Zoya's fighting bout with Alina; and Jessie Mei Li watching her go before managing a perfect wink for the camera.
  • Jessie Mei Li trying to throw something at Archie Renaux for a take and constantly throwing it too far.
  • Danielle Galligan and Calahan Skogman wrestling about in bed for the shot, until the pillow falls off the bed.
  • Kit Young flicking the reins for the horse to start when the Crows are escaping the Little Palace - and when nothing happens casually saying "That doesn't work", causing Freddy Carter to promptly crack up.
  • Ugri the Goat screaming loudly and repeatedly during a take.
  Freddy: [enters the scene with Ugri under his arm, looking suave and menacing]
  Ugri: Ahhhhh!
  Freddy: [cracks up and turns to leave to start the scene again]
  Ugri: Ahhhhhhhh!
  • Ben Barnes first getting annoyed with how he swirls his cape, then:
  Ben: [moves his hands to cast a spell and screams as he finishes it] Ahhhh! [Beat] Oh, why did I scream? ...weirdo.

Season 2

No Shelter But Me

• Inej disappearing via Offscreen Teleportation in full view of several police officers.

• Upon getting back to Ketterdam, Jesper is happy that no one has tried to kill them yet.
  Jesper: I think I might celebrate with a little dice and debauchery.
  Kaz: No debauchery.
  Jesper: Dice then.
  Kaz: No dice. We have stops to make.

• Sturmhond is surprised Kaz and Jesper don't recognize him.
  Sturmhond: What? You don't know me? Maybe in profile. [poses]
  [Kaz and Jesper look at each other, confused]
  • This becomes even funnier when it’s revealed that Sturmhond is the alias of Prince Nikolai, who probably has his face on a piece of currency.

• Mal is running away from Bohdan and his soldiers in the middle of a crowded marketplace. One of the soldiers throws a pot at towards Mal, hits a different soldier, breaking the pot and the merchant protests that it costs 25 neredi, and Mal swings back around during the chase to pay him.

• Tolya and Tamar are introduced with shots of their weapons and armor and dramatic music playing... and immediately start bickering about where to eat, with Tolya complaining that Tamar got them kicked out of Tunde's pub.
  Tolya: No, because you got us kicked out of there last time.
  Tamar: If some Fjerdan deckhand's gonna question a woman's right to carry weapons.
  Tolya: Lessons were learned. Which brings to mind a particular stanza from Rabinov's Cantos-
  [Tamar groans and rolls her eyes]

• Kaz and friends are discussing the murder they've been framed for.
  Inej: We're accused of murdering Tante Heleen.
  Jesper: Wait, what? We didn't do that, though. looks at Inej Wait, did you do that?
  [Inej looks incredulously at Jesper]

• Bohdan demands Tamar stop because Mal and Alina are chartering the ship she and Tolya are guarding.
  Bohdan: That man is a deserter of the First Army. He belongs in our custody.
  Tamar: Is that so? All right then. turns to ship, yells Ravka wants a fight!
  [The people on the ship aim guns and cannons at Bohdan and his soldiers]

• Jesper and Wylan are arguing about the latter's competency as a demolitions man when Nina enters.
  Nina: Nina Zenik. At your service.
  Inej, Jesper: [surprised] Nina Zenik?
  Nina: Well, that's a reaction. Is there a famous Nina Zenik that I don't know of?
  Wylan: [looks back and forth] Can I get anyone some tea?

Rusalye

• Sturmhond introduces Mal to the crew as "a guest of the Sun Summoner", despite the latter's protests.
• Jesper has trouble keeping up with all the crimes the Crows have been framed for.
  Jesper: What? I have so many questions. How? Why? Who? Where? When? I guess...
  Inej: [nods]
  Jesper: Yeah, I guess that's all of them.
• Kaz is discussing the plan to get back at Rollins, and Jesper says he and Inej need to know the plan.
  Wylan: Um, yes, I... I, too, would like to know the plan. [looks around, crosses his arms]
  Inej: [shoots Wylan a look]
  Nina: [raises her eyebrows at Wylan]

• Kaz goes through an intense heist-planning lecture about sneaking into Pekka's office building to look at his books but they don't know which office is his. Before he can go into his clever plan to find out, Nina sits down munching on some waffles and says she found out by pretending to be a delivery girl and asking the restaurant staff. Then she asks Inej to pass the water, which she does, looking more than a little put out.
• While Kaz is describing the office building, he notes that it has special features to preserve secrecy, including no nameplates on the doors or room numbers. Jesper bemoans that it means there's nothing for him to shoot, and Inej deadpans that he can shoot out a lock if it makes him feel better. Jesper replies that she can mock him all she wants, but he seems to remember it getting her out of trouble once.
• Jesper and Wylan have met before, but Jesper doesn't realize it until he literally falls on top of Wylan. Wylan is preoccupied by the fact that people are shooting at them.
  Jesper: Wait, we have met before, haven't we?
  Wylan: Yes, but—
  [Rollins' men fire at them]
  Jesper: And you brought me stroopwafels.
  Wylan: You remember that now?
  [Rollins' men fire at them again]

Like Calls to Like

• Sturmhond reveals that he's actually Prince Nikolai of Ravka. After a scene where a captain proclaims his name and titles and a whole platoon of soldiers kneels before him while grand music plays in the background, Alina punches him in the face.

• Jesper and Wylan break into Rollins' house in Appelbroek, and convince the nanny that they're there to fix the piano. Jesper asks if Alby, a young child, cut the wire, and the nanny is upset that Jesper is accusing Alby. Alby says he did and that he hates piano, to the nanny's shock.

• After Jesper fixes the piano wire with his Durast powers, Alby announces "My turn" and bangs on the piano, with Wylan and Jesper looking on with pained faces. Wylan attempts to keep a straight face and tells the nanny "That's really... That's... He's really good", to which the nanny just smiles and nods.

• Nina walking in on a UST-filled first-aid moment between Kaz and Inej. Inej insists that it's "not what you think", and Nina responds that she was thinking Kaz was "shit at first aid".

Every Monstrous Thing

• Wylan and Jesper are carrying boxes of beer around for the festival of Sankt Emerens, talking about how it's much bigger in Ketterdam and involves role-playing, and Jesper sets one down a little hard.
  Wylan: Break one and there'll be a particularly uncomfortable role to play for nine to 12 hours.
  Jesper: Cautionary note taken. Danger... [makes finger guns] Fun.

• Jesper accurately predicts Kaz's pre-plan speech, including that Kaz will open a tab at a bar of his choice when Rollins is taken down. Kaz's only correction is that there's a cap on the tab.

• Wylan asks why the Crows say "No mourners, no funerals" instead of "good luck" or "be safe". Inej responds that they like to keep expectations low, to which Wylan merely raises his eyebrows.

Yuyeh Sesh (Despise Your Heart)

• Wylan and Jesper are in bed kissing... and Kaz pounds on the door despite Jesper's protests, telling them to get downstairs because "Ravka needs saving". Jesper sighs and Wylan flops back into bed.

• In the Spinning Wheel, there's a rumbling from above, and everyone assumes it's an attack. Nikolai starts giving evacuation orders... and then we hear Baghra berating Genya for not finding them a way down faster.

• Jesper is again upset at the age Kaz put on his papers.
  Jesper: He made me even older than last time.
  Wylan: Well, you are older than last time.

• Jesper insists that he didn't do anything stupid in his relationship with Wylan. Tolya nods and mm-hmms, and Jesper immediately admits that he said something stupid and asks for advice on what to do. Tolya says that it reminds him of a poem, and Jesper immediately gets up and walks away.

• Jesper's attempt to reconcile with Wylan fails, and the latter immediately walks away and asks Tolya for help with something. Jesper looks confused and mouths "What?", and looks back at Tolya, who mouths "What happened?", to which Jesper shrugs.

• Kaz and Nina attempt to interrogate Ohval... only they're pretending to be husband and wife and Kaz displays the emotional range of a brick. Ohval even lampshades it, saying that she thought the Kerch were more affectionate. Special mention goes to Nina giving her "husband" the absurdly saccharine nickname "Waffles."
  Nina: In private, he's all hands.

• Nina chokes on food twice in the episode - once when Kaz tells her to work with Zoya, and the other when Zoya tells her to forget about Matthias. She even asks if now is the time to be having that conversation.

• It's in the middle of a serious conversation, but Jesper is surprised that another person - Wylan this time - found out that he's Grisha. Wylan irritatedly explains that he's seen Jesper's Improbable Aiming Skills and knows that he fixed the piano wire.

Ni Weh Sesh (I Have No Heart)

• The Crows are discussing their near-death experience from the gas.
  Tolya, to Inej: I owe you my life.
  Inej: It was Wylan. He saved us.
  Jesper: Wylan did?
  Wylan: [from outside the door] You're welcome.

• Ohval has just finished trouncing the Crows when Kaz wheels an old man in... who happens to be The Disciple, and Ohval's husband. He tells her that they have visitors, "art collectors from Kerch". Ohval nods and says that she was about to offer them tea... with the Crows still visibly in pain in the background.

• Ohval keeps the preserved body of her first husband in a glass-topped coffin. "Terrible marriage. Adequate table."

Meet You in the Meadow

• A grenade lands near one of Kirigan's Grisha. Her last words? "Uh oh."

Behind the Scenes

• Jessie Mei Li's reaction when she accidentally punches Patrick Gibson for real.