Funny / Sam & Max Hit the Road

• If you attempt to pick up an object that is classified as a background element or a permanent non-inventory item, Sam will say "I can't pick that up." However, if you persist...
  Sam: I can't pick that up.
  Sam: No really, I can't pick that up.
  Sam: Are you dense? I can't pick that up!
  Sam: [Dangerously] Read my lips- I... CAN'T... PICK... THAT... UP.
  Sam: I give up.
  [Sam lets out a pitiful whine.]
  Max: Now you've done it! You've broken Sam's spirit with your stupid attempts to pick up that silly object!^note "item #[item ID]" in the subtitles, if you have them on
  [Sam continues whimpering.]
  Max: In fact, if I didn't find his pitiful sobbing so amusing, I'd come out there and rip your limbs off!
  [Naturally, you try picking up the item again; this time, Sam lets out a choked gasp of horror, and starts crying again.]
  Max: Just ignore them, Sam. Maybe they'll go away.
• Alternately, if you try this during the brief point in the game when Sam and Max are separated, Sam finally says "Look, bub, don't make me stop this game and come out there!" instead of sobbing, and if you click on the item again, he growls menacingly.
• Flint Paper throws a guy through his door window, which is followed by a hail of bullets that make a smiley face, which is then followed by Max pushing said victim off the banister his chin was caught on.
  Max: Gratuitous acts of senseless violence are my forte!
  Sam: You're such an adorable urchin, Max.
• The bomb exchange after the opening credits:
  Sam: Where should I put this so it won't harm anyone we know or care about?
  Max: Out the window Sam! There's nobody but strangers out there!
  (Sam obediently lobs the bomb out the window, whereupon it explodes.)
  Sam: I hope there was nobody on that bus.
  Max: Nobody we know, at least.
• In the whack-a-rat game at the carnival, you can hit Max instead of the rats; he barely notices. The rats themselves are actually real, and start looking more beaten up as the game goes on. If you hit Max enough times, then after the game Max will start wandering around in circles.
• After the Kushman brothers explain to Sam and Max that they don't wear clothes. (Their skin is naturally colored to resemble clothing.)
  Max: Good lord, Sam! He's buck naked!
  Sam: So are you.
  Max: Yeah, but I'm cute and marketable.
• The "key" to Trixie's trailer that Doug gives Sam and Max. It's just a crowbar.
• After Sam and Max finally retrieve the tooth of a T-Rex to use as one of the Plot Coupons to solve the final puzzle:
  Sam: We finally got the tooth.
  Max: The whole tooth?
  Sam: Nothing but.
• When Sam and Max arrive at Frog Rock:
  Sam: This doesn't look like a frog at all.
  Max: My innocence has been shattered by this blatant tourist trap. I want my money back.
  Sam: You didn't pay anything.
  Max: Well, somebody better give me some money.
  • Leading up to the following Brick Joke, after you apply the three samples of bigfoot hair and Shuv-ool's magic powder to Frog Rock:
    Sam: I think we're witnessing a celestial convergence of some sort.
    Max: Will it make that rock look more like a frog?
• Examining the hot tub leads to this exchange:
  Sam: The pool of decadence.
  Max: Bring me as many naked women as my poor eyes can stand!
  Sam: Jesus, Max, you don't even like girls!
  Max: Oh yeah, I forgot.
• Leave it to Lucasarts to put a joke in the setup menu. Said menu has a listing for "Random Memory Test". Select it and a pop-up box appears with the message "Who was the fourth president of the United States?"^{For the record} James Madison
• Using the wishing well at Bumpusville gets some funny responses.
  • Sam saying "I wish this game were over," leads to a Fade to Black to a fake "The End" screen, until Sam says "Hold it! Get back here!" and the game continues.
  • Sam saying "I wish I knew what Max was thinking," leads to several seconds of Visible Silence from Max's brain followed by a sonar "ping!", to which Sam responds "Well, that was a waste of money."
• During the opening credits, one of the accompanying images has Sam holding a gun that reads "How's my aim? Dial 1-800-Star Wars"

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