Funny / Rocked

Regretting the Past

Limp Bizkit - Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water (2000)

• Luke realizing the album sold over a million copies in its first week.
  Luke: That means there were lines of red hat-wearing, baggy-jean posers lined up all around a Best Buy like it was Black Friday! Or... Limp Tuesday.
  • The speech bubble then notes that if the album came out one decade later, #limptuesday would be the #EngineeredHashtag.
• The cameos of internet personalities laughing at Luke after he announces he's going to listen to the album in full.
  Luke: Oh my gosh, I'm in my late twenties and I'm spending my free time listening to Limp Bizkit. I feel like if my father found out, he would be so ashamed of me right now!
  • After listening to "Rollin'", Luke becomes horrified at the fact he's only halfway through the album and it prompts him to go into a Despair Event Horizon and walk off camera. The best part is the fact every cameo personality shows concern over Luke's DEH (except for Some Jerk with a Camera who doesn't care but says to "hear the screams", all while a sign on his computer says "SEND HELP") and Luke just shouts for the review to continue to his anguish.
• Playing the sound of a baby crying over the eighth track ("The One").
• Luke praising the intro of the twelfth track, "Boiler", only to have Fred Durst's vocals immediately cancel out any excitement he had for the song.

Nickelback - Silver Side Up (2001)

• Luke's horror when he realizes the album released on September 11th, 2001.
• When discussing the third track, "Woke Up This Morning", Luke claims there is one Nickelback song that ironically helps him wake up in the morning: "Photograph".
• Comparing the songs on the album to songs you'd hear by a "dad band" in a bar.
• Some Jerk with a Camera dramatically reciting lyrics from the album to accentuate how emo they sound to him.
• Luke attempts to get into the album by crying in a cold shower whilst listening to it. It does not work.
  • The ending features him still crying in the cold shower.
  Captioned Subtitles: Hey, cheer up. The future's been saved for now. Didn't you know Chad Kroger and Avril Lavigne broke up? That means NO demonic offspring!^note earlier in the video, Luke mentioned how the possible child of Kroeger and Lavigne would produce mediocre music that would be inescapable like their parents did. Shouldn't that make you happy? [Luke mostly stops crying] Wow, 'Silver Side Up' really did a number on you. I think you should listen to some Classic Rock. Maybe tool, Dream Theater, or... How 'bout some Def Leppard 'Photograph'? I'll just play the track and... oops, wrong 'Photograph'... Oh no, COVER YOUR EARS! [the Nickelback song plays, which causes Luke to cry even more]
• From "Hangnail", the ninth track on the album:
  Chad Kroeger: And I don't see too well.
  Luke: Hey, at least you admit it!^note He probably misheard this lyric as "sing too well," but to be fair, that's the next line of the song anyway.

Creed - Weathered (2001)

• The album's fourth track "Signs" contains this gem of a lyric:
  This is not about sex. (SEEEX!)
  • This out-of-place moment of awkward is too funny to Luke, to the point where it becomes a running gag throughout the rest of the review. Numerous other internet personalities, including Mark Grondin, Ryan Molina, Rob Rubin, Yomarz, and Crash Thompson make cameos to mock this part of the song.

Metallica - St. Anger (2003)

• The opening of the video, in which Luke finishes staring at a clock in complete silence for 75 minutes as a prelude to the 75 minutes it will take to listen to St. Anger.
• While analyzing the opening track, "Frantic", Luke plays the drum track by itself to express why he hates its drumming style. He does the same for the next track, "St. Anger", but it's actually him banging on metal pots.
• By the tenth and penultimate track, "Purify", Luke theorizes that the album's awfulness must have been made with a deeper message in mind. The very next track, "All Within My Hands", features James Hetfield shouting "KILL KILL KILL KILL" over and over again. Luke of course starts feeling this is a brainwashing message, brandishing a knife before snapping out of his hypnosis and dropping it upon seeing it in his hand.
• The ending: After finishing the review, Luke begins to wonder why St. Anger still sold so well despite reception being polarizing at best, only to realize Lars's war against Napster and shutting it down wasn't because of "artist integrity", but because without Napster to leak the album, people would have to buy it and as a result, St. Anger's sales went up!
  Luke: (amazed)....Lars is an evil genius!!
  Lars Ulrich: *EVIL LAUGH*

Nickelback - All the Right Reasons (2005)

• Luke attempts to skip the album's third track, "Photograph", straight to "Animals". The Nostalgia Critic appears to make sure Luke reviews the album in full.
  Nostalgia Critic: If I had to sit through all of Foodfight!, you gotta sit through this shit!
  • At the end of the review, the critic comes back to torment Luke once more by badly singing "Photograph" (doing his best Chad Kroeger impression, of course). Nash, Calluna, The Dom, Count Jackula, The Horror Guru, and Some Jerk with a Camera join in on the fun too. The latter of these has arguably the funniest contribution, as he eventually gives up on following the rhythm of the song and just shouts the word "photograph" over and over again.
• Luke's Alternative Character Interpretation that Chad Kroeger is playing the role of a stalker/killer from Denny's in this album.
• On "Side of a Bullet", the eighth track on the album:
  Luke: Calling this song bland is an insult to saltine crackers and instant oatmeal.
• On the rhymes he uses to introduce "Animals": "You're beside me on the seat / Got your hand between my knees / And you control how fast we go by how hard you want to squeeze":
  Luke: Oh my god, did a thirteen-year-old write this?

Puddle of Mudd - Come Clean (2001)

• The opening, set to happy music and featuring Luke scooping up mud after a rainy day. He then puts this mud in a bowl and sticks some headphones in it. In other words, he's listening to a literal puddle of mud.
  Luke: Sure beats the alternative!
• Luke's reaction to finding out Fred Durst produced the album.
  Luke: (gritting his teeth) Thanks again, Fred, for contributing so much to music!
• Luke wonders if he's being too hard on Puddle of Mudd frontman Wes Scantlin in the video's opening, so he Skypes Crash Thompson to get his opinion on the guy. His rants at the beginning and middle of the video are pretty funny, but what really takes the cake is the end, where he gets so angry that he starts singing "Dickhead drunk dumbass douche" to the tune of "Scatman."
  • After listing off Scantlin's numerous offenses (including two DWI's, a high-speed car chase with the police, and blowing a BAC of .310), the obvious question is asked: "How is he still alive?!"
• "Can you imagine the disappointment people felt when they bought this album based on the song "Control" and then heard songs like ["Out of My Head"] on the album? It's like ordering a large fries from Wendy's and only getting four decent fries and the rest are all slimy and gross!
  Luke: Wendy's, I'm so sorry, your fries are delicious! Please forgive me for comparing you to Puddle of Mudd!
• On "Nobody Told Me", the fourth track on the album.
  Luke: If you like static feedback and cymbal bashing used as a rhythm keeper, then you might like this song! If you're one of those people, then please check yourself into a psychiatric observation facility because you need help!
• This obligatory pun Luke makes when he gets to "Blurry".
  Luke : (half-heartedly) Everything's always so blurry because you're always intoxicated, Wes! (beat) That wasn't even worth a speech bubble...
• "She Hates Me" amuses Luke with how bad and immature it is. He theorizes that it was written by a 14-year-old boy whose mom took away his PlayStation.
• The song "Bring Me Down" has a few lines about baby Jesus coming to eat you. No joke.
  Luke: What Bible verse is this in?
• "Whiny, nasally, bad lyrics...now I get why Fred Durst loved this guy!"

Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns (2010)

• Comparing the album to a salad from a restaurant you like, only it's covered with battery acid and staples.
• Spectrum Pulse giving his opinion of the album (that it's Linkin Park's best record), then complaining at the end that he only got 30 seconds compared to Luke's 20+ minutes.
  Luke: Yeah it's almost like it's my show.
• Luke prefaces that it's okay to hate songs and albums from a band you like...
  Luke: Unless you like Simple Plan. Then you just have to accept that you were wrong back in junior high and high school and that everything of theirs is just terrible.
• The ending, in which three Linkin Park fanboys with hoodies leave hateful comments for Luke.

Simple Plan - No Pads, No Helmets...Just Balls (2002)

• Luke apparently finds the album's title so stupid he replaces the "Just Balls" with a phrase like "no dignity" or "no musical ability," to name a couple, every time he speaks the album's name.
• The Horror Guru torturing Luke throughout the review. For one, he was one of the ones who suggested this review, he somehow locks Luke in his room to prevent him from escaping, he laughs at his pain, and he comments on the "A Thousand Suns" review demanding a review of Still Not Getting Any after the first Simple Plan review.
• After the opening lines of "I'm Just a Kid", Luke says "Unless you're the little girl from Aliens or Clementine from The Walking Dead, you have no right to be singing that song."
• Luke eating some Cheese Whiz every time he hears a cheesy line. He soon regrets this. At one point he's also writing "Simple Plan Sucks" with it.

Good Charlotte - The Young and the Hopeless (2002)

• Luke's interactions with Michael Deal, the Patreon user who requested this album for review. Partway through the review, Deal sends a message admitting that he was a dick for requesting it.
• Luke comparing having to review Good Charlotte right after Simple Plan to surviving a drowning, only to have a friend splash you with a bucket of water the next day.
• At one point in the intro, Luke plays the Kidz Bop version of "Girls & Boys".
• When talking about Track 8, "Hold On," Luke admires that the lyrics are reaching out to people in tough times, but calls the song generic despite this. He explains that people can find meaning in any song, which causes him to look too much into "Row Row Row Your Boat."
  Luke: Oh my gosh! Life really is but a dream!
• Luke's reaction to the fact that The Young and the Hopeless ended up selling as much copies as Lateralus. His face says it.
  • At one point, he picks up his copy of Lateralus and points out how sad that statistic is.
  Luke: You only sold as well as an album with the lyric "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money."

Hinder - Extreme Behavior (2005)

• Luke frequently mentions how Hinder's music sounds like the kind of rock drunk moms listen and dance to.
• When talking about how "Lips of an Angel" hit Number 1 on the Billboard Pop Songs chart, Luke wonders aloud if pop stations had nothing better to play than Hinder in 2006. Cue clip of "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter, which is played as a Running Gag throughout the episode.
  • Speaking of "Bad Day", Luke uses it while trying to cope with the fact that Extreme Behavior sold more copies than The Mars Volta's entire discography, not just De-Loused in the Comatorium. It's then played again at the end of the episode when he notices that copyright claims had hit his prior Frances the Mute review.
• The second track, "How Long", has lyrics where the singer wonders how long his choking feeling will last. Luke has this to say about these lyrics:
  Luke: It'll go away once you go to the hospital or the police, you moron!
• Luke's reaction to the "blow my best friend" line in "Nothin Good About Goodbye".
• When talking about lead singer Austin Winkler's departure in 2012.
  Luke: Think about that. The lead singer of Hinder got tired of Hinder. That's pretty bad!

Megadeth - Risk (1999)

• Luke consistently falls asleep throughout the video from being so bored by the music.
• Luke sums up reviewing every track as "Like filing your taxes when you know you're not going to get a refund. You just want to get it over with."

Buckcherry - 15 (2006)

• Luke gets so disgusted by the lyrical content of the album that he keeps having to take baths. Once he gets to "Brooklyn", he resorts to using bleach. (The Stinger is him showing the bottle had water, and a Don't Try This at Home warning that extends to "anything on Regretting the Past, including listening to awful music")
• After finishing his review of the album, Luke goes to take another bath, only to run into the Denny's Stalker. At the end of the video, we also get to hear a few alternate takes of the Denny's Stalker that Luke was sent, which toe the line between nightmare fuel and comedy gold.

Fall Out Boy - Save Rock and Roll (2013)

• While going over the track "Alone Together", Luke imitates an emo teen writing a Live Journal entry while sitting alone in the dark.
  Teen!Luke: No one will ever understand how I feel about her. It's not my fault I'm a maniac. She treats me like a stallion. She loves it when I'm broken. Last night we were alone together and today at school she spit in my face when her friends were around. This is the road to ruin.
  Teen!Luke's Mom: Honey, your Pop-Tarts are ready!
  Teen!Luke (looking up from the laptop) STOP SMOTHERING ME!
• On "The Mighty Fall", one of Big Sean's verses triggers a bout of anger from Luke.
  Big Sean: Hell yeah, I'm a dick, girl, addicted to you!
  Luke: (fuming, throwing a stool against the wall) Stupid frickin' SIMPLE PLA- (cut to Technical Difficulties Screen)
• "...IT'S COURTNEY, BITCH!" "...You brought in COURTNEY LOVE?! EEEWWW!!!"

Limp Bizkit - Results May Vary (2003)

• The intro where Nash and Film Brain try to get Luke out of his stupor... only to instead start laughing when they discover his current video is about Limp Bizkit.
  Remember, friends don’t let friends listen to Limp Bizkit.
• As soon as the album comes to the cover of "Behind Blue Eyes", Luke runs outside and puts his head in front of a car wheel. The driver dismisses him as a wacko, and steals his wallet.
  • The video freezes on a monochromatic still shot of Luke's corpse as "Frolic" by Luciano Michelini plays.
• "Durst" as a verb. Or noun. Anything but compare innocent words to Limp Bizkit!
• "'Now, I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late '90s' is the greatest line in the history of cinema! I was applauding when he said that!"
• Luke admits that after this album, he'll only return to the series in January. Cut to his Patreon page with a Scare Chord, revealing Kid Rock is up next.

Kid Rock - Devil Without a Cause (1998)

• The Imagine Spot where Joe C being mistaken for an actual child leads to wanton violence.
• Luke attempts to be somewhat positive at the end of the album...but when he reaches "Black Chick, White Guy", he declares he won't play a song clip and it's the worst track ever.
• The epilogue, with various collaborators echoing Luke's request of "Don't Listen to Kid Rock".
  • Linkara's contribution though: "DON'T LISTEN TO KID ROCK!...Listen to Nickelbac-wait..."

Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy (2008)

• Wearing a KFC bucket on his head and brandishing a Dr. Pepper to highlight the insane recording history of this album. ('Hey, one more unspoken product placement and I'll be a full-on Adam Sandler movie!')
• "This album took 14 years to make. Meanwhile Buckethead released 100 albums last year alone ...granted, Buckethead is insane, but still!"
  • Any joke about Buckethead and Luke's complete inability to accept Buckethead's mannerisms.
• Insistently pronouncing the question mark in the title of the GNR album The Spaghetti Incident?
• "Yep, we end it with a 'Prostitute'! *gigles* I do feel like any hair and glam metal band back in the day did end everything they did in their lives with a prostitute, so why should this album be any different?"
• The Dom's making a cameo when Luke mentions adaptation, and Luke's fear of how the fans will interpret their interactions. Then the Dom returns with a bucket on his head, claiming to be a Guns N' Roses fan, but ending up singing "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone) by Cinderella.

Simple Plan - Still Not Getting Any... (2004)

• The opening: Luke simply rages for at best 30 seconds about how his audience are evil before shouting "SIMPLE PLAN SUCKS!".
• Similar to the "No Pads, No Helmet.." review, he adds insults to the end of the album title, such as "Still Not Getting Any Easier To Hear" or "Still Not Getting Any Respect".
• His Stunned Silence after finding out "Welcome to My Life" got certified Gold in the United States.
• As soon as the album comes to "Untitled (How Could This Happen to Me?)", the scene of Darth Vader yelling "NOOOOOOOOO!" plays in the background.
• The endings: After one of Luke's guitars fall to the ground, he proceeds to be as overly dramatic as possible by lip-syncing "Untitled" in the background, all while fellow Rock Colosseum collaborators John from ARTV along with Hannah, Spectrum Pulse and Crash Thompson joining (Crash especially being the funniest as he simply splashes water on his face to emulate crying). Near the end, audio of a crying baby is spliced in. Then there's The Stinger where Luke strums his guitar and realizes it isn't broken, and then wonders why he was being so melodramatic over something small.
  • The second stinger: Luke making a macaroni piece that he hangs on his fridge that says "SIMPLE PLAN SUCKS".

Slayer - Diabolus in Musica (1998)

• The recurring appearances by Malcolm's Devil.

Crazy Town - The Gift of Game (1999)

• The fact that Luke can't say the name "Shifty Shellshock" (the name of Crazy Town's lead emcee) without cracking up.

Theory of a Deadman - Scars & Souvenirs (2008)

• Much like the Simple Plan album titles, Luke gives this album many alternative titles such as "Scars & Suffering", "Scars & Stupidity" and "Scars & Shoot Me In The Face".
• When Luke listens to the first few seconds of "Got It Made" and is greeted with static guitars and bad electronic effects:
  Luke: (facepalming) Ough... this already sucks!
  • It continues as the first verse opens:
  Theory: Pull over to the side of the road, go skinny dipping in the dark...
  Luke: Oh my gosh, its watered down Nickelback!
• The attempts at making Yo Dawg memes about butt-rock:
  "Yo dawg, I heard you like butt-rock, so I got you some Nickelback with your Theory of a Deadman so you can butt-rock while you butt-rock."
  "Yo dawg, I heard you like butt-rock, so I got you some Daughtry with your Theory of a Deadman so you can butt-rock while you butt-rock."
• After realizing that the song "Bad Girlfriend" is in fact not a Wangsty Anti-Love Song but a song dedicated to the lead singer's now-wife, Luke does a little Imagine Spot of how dedicating lyrics like that to your significant other would likely go over in reality.
• Once the album is finished, Luke feels the need to call Mark from Spectrum Pulse to rant about Canada exporting terrible butt-rock to the States, and the two get into a big tit-for-tat fight over which country has the worst rock bands.

Maroon 5 - Overexposed (2012)

• Luke makes fun of the song "One More Night" by randomly cutting in clips of the "woo hoo!" from the DuckTales theme song.
• After spending a majority of the review accusing Maroon 5 of blatantly ripping off Coldplay, Luke calls up Crash Thompson once the album ends and asks him to photoshop Adam Levine's face over several photos of Chris Martin. The results do not disappoint, especially the last one where not only did Crash photoshop Levine's face over Martin, but also those of his then-wife Gwyneth Paltrow and their (at the time) baby daughter Apple.

Saliva - Every Six Seconds (2001)

• The video opens with a voice-over cameo from Crash Thompson reading a quote from lead singer Josey Scott in a silly voice. It's even more hilarious when you read Crash's comment about how Luke requested that he "sound like a ball of snot" for the bit.
• Luke explains that this review was chosen by his Patreon supporters, and Saliva beat out Hoobastank in the poll, leading Luke to comment that a band named after spit beat out a band with the word "stank" in the title.
  Luke: That's right, people dislike spit more than stank. (beat) I'm a grown man.
• Luke takes the opportunity to make as many spit-related puns as possible throughout the video.
  Luke: [This song] could've been something, but Saliva spit the bed.
• After discussing the song "Click Click Boom", Luke decides to create a Running Gag of adding a clip of the song's hook at the end of random sentences. Taken up to eleven when he finishes off the video by having said clip in a never-ending loop.
• The Imagine Spot where Luke randomly yells "CLICK CLICK BOOM!" in the middle of a sweet conversation with his girlfriend, leaving Gretchen looking bemused and terrified.

Staind - 14 Shades of Grey (2003)

• The cutaway gags of what an Aaron Lewis concert would be like, referencing his real-life onstage antics and apathy.
  Aaron: I can't believe I still have to do this... I should be at home polishing one of my shotguns.
• Since Hinder was "drunk mom rock", Luke has opted to refer to Staind as "divorced dad rock." In addition, he refers to Lewis as "Crabby Uncle Aaron".
• Saying that everything Fred Durst stuck his fingers in aged like milk.
• Revealing that the final radio single was released two days before Christmas. "Man, Santa really dropped the ball that year."
• The running theme Luke picked up on that Aaron Lewis actually doesn't seem terribly interested in writing and performing music.

Hoobastank - The Reason (2003)

• The opening commercial about the shaving product Manscaped.
  This album will feel like a kick in the crotch... a well-groomed crotch, than you very much!
• His Running Gag of giving Hoobastank a different name due to how stupid the band's name is.
  Let's see what about this is worth regretting, aside from the band name, of course.

Trapt - Trapt (2002)

• Luke's description of Trapt being a "CD-R" band:
  What's a CD-R band? (Holds up CD-R disc with the name "Trapt" written on with permanent marker) This is a CD-R band. Back in 2002, when home recording was finally common for blank CDs, Trapt would be the perfect band for this. You don't care enough about the song "Headstrong" to go out and buy the CD yourself, but you know a guy who had a friend who had a brother who did buy it, and that was copied several times over, so then you had Trapt's self-titled album in your library...(writes the word "sucks" under Trapt's name on aforementioned CD-R disc) and then it's stuck on your computer for years like a shame-filled time capsule.
• The Running Gag of referring to Trapt frontman Chris Taylor Brown as "Chris Trashbag Brown."
• Luke being baffled by Chris Taylor Brown describing the purpose of the album cover (a blurry picture of a man mowing a lawn) as "to show the choices and results an individual can make in life."
  What? That doesn't even make any sense! To mow or not to mow, those are the decisions? Ugh, can't even get past the album cover!
• The picture of a baby crying put over Chris Taylor Brown's half-assed scream at the end of "Hollowman."
• Spectrum Pulse when asked if he remembers Trapt:
  Yeah, I do remember. I remember our team had gone on ahead to provide scouting, and then we showed up, yet something had gone wrong. We were getting jammed, something was going off, it looks like our reconnaissance team had failed, and then I remember looking at our commander, and I remember hearing the tremble in his bark, his exclamation, it would resonate in my mind. He said, "It's a Trapt!" Chilling. Oh wait, you're talking about the early 2000s band Trapt? (snickers) Y-You're serious, anyone still cares about them? Really? No, I never even got into them, even before I knew that their frontman Chris Brown was a fascist.
• Luke briefly flashing an image of Triple H when getting to the track "The Game".
• Crash Thompson reading several examples of Chris Taylor Brown's social media presence in a snotty, snarky voice in a similar manner to his Josey Scott impression at the beginning of the "Every Six Seconds" episode, made even funnier by the mashup of "Headstrong" and "Entry of the Gladiators" in the background.

Falling in Reverse - The Drug in Me Is You (2011)

• Luke makes a Running Gag on referring to Ronnie Radke as "Ronald the Clown", complete with a picture of Ronald McDonald with Radke's face photoshopped over it.

All Time Favorite Albums

New Radicals - Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too (1998)

• The entire premise of the review is that Luke finds it embarrassing that he loves this album so much, due to being what he considers a softer record than those he's previously admitted to loving. To hammer this point home, The Rap Critic makes several appearances in the review to laugh at Luke for his taste in music, in particular when Luke's talking about a track he feels is weaker than the rest.
  • The Rap Critic's appearances themselves are hilarious, such as when he says Luke "had to return a Little Einsteins CD because the beats was too hard for you."

Deftones - White Pony (2000)

• Luke commenting that "Digital Bath" doesn't have one drug reference in it- it's just straight up about killing someone!
  Luke: (beat) Man, this album's darker than I thought...
• Luke describing "Knife Prty" as the kind of song you want to sing along to in public, but don't because you're afraid someone you don't know will hear you and think you're a psychopath.
• Luke tells an amusing anecdote about when a woman came into the record store where he used to work while "Knife Prty" was playing. According to him, she asked what the song was, listened for a while, and then switched to another station a minute before the song was over. The station she switched to was playing "Milkshake" by Kelis, to which the woman said something like "Oh my god! My favorite song!" and started dancing to it. Luke's reaction was to just sigh and walk away.