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Funny / Proton Jon Fortune Cookie 2016

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Return to the main Fortune Cookie page here.
  • From "Fortune Cookie: Pre-AGDQ Taking Over Twitch Edition":
    • The first game Jon plays is the terrible SNES Simpsons game Virtual Bart. The game's title screen involves a very short looping clip of a drumbeat followed by a Large Ham voiceover announcing the name of the game. Jon tries to read out all the names of re-subscribers and give them eggs even while this is going on in the background. Inevitably, "YOU WILL GIVE ME A VIRTUAAAAL BAAAART" becomes the custom egg sound of the night.
  • From "Fortune Cookie: Always Bet on Bad Edition":
    • The first game Jon plays, Pulse Racer, which has the bizarre concept of cars powered by life force and whose drivers have heart attacks if they drive too fast. Jon got it for free, and still feels like he paid too much for it.
    • Jon's annoyance playing Sly 3 that in a simultaneous button-pressing sequence, Bentley calls out "1, 2, 3" but actually hits the button on 2.
    • After Train Simulator 2015 wins a straw poll (obviously), MegaGWolf claims it takes up 8 gigabytes of disk space. This turns out to be wrong because the version Jon has doesn't have DLC - shocking GWolf who didn't know he had DLC. Lucahjin also randomly cameos to yell at him about it.
  • From "Fortune Cookie: An Autobiography Edition":
    • Jon manages to break his desk by kneeing it, hitting the railing and taking down a drawer that just ends up tearing the whole thing down, sending splinters everywhere. This ends up becoming the biggest focus of the stream.
      • Chat decides to devote donations to buying Jon a new desk.
        Tenmar: Dear chat, today we are gathered here today in memory and celebration of @Protonjon 's desk. For many houses, ProtonJon's desk has served Jon and us with the qualities that we should all strive to be. While we sit here at our own desks, let us all take a moment to thank our desks for the reliable service that they give us everyday as we enjoy our hobby of video games. ProtonJon's desk maybe gone but it leaves us with treasured memories. We will miss you @Protonjon 's desk.
        Jon: I taught it a lesson it will never forget.
      • He manages to get into a joking argument with Lucahjin over it, with Jon alleging that Lucah telekinetically destroyed his desk.
      • Tom Fawkes dubs Jon "One-Knee Man."
        Jon: ONE KNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
    • Tom Fawkes decides to raid Jon at one point. Countermeasures ensue.
    • Jon decides to get a game over in Top Gun: Fire at Will. Each time he loses a life, an FMV pops up that essentially says "That sucked. Do better." When he actually gets a game over, it's a clip of an American flag that's not even at half-mast.
      • Him shooting at the ground during his attempts is another level of hilarity on his own.
    • Jon shouting that "Yoshi's Cookie is made of people!"
    • On one Fortune Cookie, Jon says a game is for Xbox Live Arcade... and because he said the words, his Xbox One turns on and then initially won't turn off again.
    • Jon reads out Enemene's donation comic which is done as an interview in which he has to insert his own dialogue. At first he just says "Insert dialogue here" as it says. Then, for some reason she switches to drawing him in a style that makes him think of the a-ha video "Take on Me", so Jon sings his answer to that question to the tune of the song.
      Jon: [singing] So, needless to say... I go to store and buy lots of ga-ames... usually; withthedonationsyouguysgiveme. Some...times... I... have... (Have to spend my own) to... buy... expensiveones! (reallyexpensiveones!) I...spend...toooo! ...way too high, gotta stop.
  • From "Fortune Cookie: The Search for More Subtitles Edition":
    • While playing the original Dynasty Warriors, Jon picks Xiahou Dun and utterly curbstomps nearly every opponent by spamming the Epic Slash. Then Lu Bu shows up and repeatedly curbstomps Jon.
    • Each time Jon fights Lu Bu, he gets increasingly annoyed at his impalement attack.
    • When Jon finally manages to defeat Lu Bu, he ends up in complete shock upon watching Xiahou Dun rip out his eye and eat it.
      Jon: [nervously] We did it... Yay...
      Jon: I see why they went in a different direction.
    • The moment Jon pulls out Battle Kid: Fortress of Peril, it gains an overwhelming majority in the Strawpoll.
    • During another Cookie, Splatoon pops up, and Jon instantly knows that it'll win the poll. Then WarioWare: Touched! shows up and beats Splatoon six ways to Sunday. Even Jon is surprised by the turn of events.
      • One of the chat members against Touched points out how Lucahjin already did an LP of the game, and everyone can just watch that. Of course, Lucah's LP is almost certainly the entire reason why it won by such a large margin...
      • Related to the above, everyone in favor of WarioWare constantly spams Lucah's Twitch emotes during the poll.
    • Jon gets raided a third time. You can see where this is going.
    • One of Jon's donators sends him a novel-length Author Tract about how Jon should treat the intelligent and incredibly talented Emile with more respect (as he chooses to phrase it) and how Jon's holding up a Double Standard for treating Chugga like shit for his quirks while tolerating Tim's catchphrase of "In the bathroom!" Jon then calls the donator out for treating Tim like shit for his quirks during his rant. What really makes this funny is the chat's complaints over the rant's length. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
    • Jon plays the mech shooter Krazy Ivan and at one point ends up fighting an enemy that is obviously a ripoff of an AT-AT from Star Wars. He and his co-commentators immediately start coming up with advertising jingles for "Third Party AT-AT" as though it's a toy.
    • After winning the X Cup as Bio-Rex in F-Zero X, Jon looks away from the TV to converse with his guests. When he looks back at the screen, he starts corpsing because all that's there is Bio-Rex saying "Don't judge me by my appearance."
    • The Steam game REVOLVER 360 RE:ACTOR somehow manages to come up twice on Fortune Cookie in one night. The chat dec it's a sign and overwhelmingly votes for it the second time, and Jon (a shmup fan) ends up being surprised at how original the 3D rotation concept is.
    • Mega Man and Bass narrowly defeats Mario Party DS and then Jon just gets derailed reading the database descriptions for the characters. Especially Dr. Light's.
      Jon: "Bad point: Douchie"?! WHAT?!
  • Fortune Cookie: 20 Years And I've Only Caught Some Of Them Edition
    • Jon ends up playing Big Bumpin (one of Burger King's three advertising Xbox games) with John and Dan after John finds out the game still has online servers. Jon and Dan both gave a Big "WHAT?!".
    • Later on, Jon plays Pokémon Puzzle League. Dan and Jon have a field day making fun of the Large Ham voice clips from everyone, Ash, Lt. Surge, Blaine, and Team Rocket in particular, which led to this gem later on against Lorelei.
      Jon: [mocking Ash's and Lorelei's voices] I'm gonna win! Can't win 'em all! I'm gonna win! Can't win 'em all!
      Dan: [as Blaine to Lorelei] When you're hot, you're hot!
      Jon: And that's when we learned Blaine was a lonely old man...
  • Fortune Cookie: The Eve of Poker-pocalypse
    • Crossing over with Tear Jerker, after several of Jon's viewers talk about having had their pet dogs die recently, it becomes something of a black humour Running Gag and the goal of the games Jon is playing is retconned to "Save the dogs!"
  • Fortune Cookie: #Team Adequate Edition
    • When trying to play Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg, the game crashes constantly, resulting in some amusing moments:
      • After the third crash, it starts to run like normal, showing the opening cutscene... only to crash once the cutscene finished.
      • Then the game goes back and forth between running and not working. Jon begins to worry that his GameCube is broken, which the chat notes is quite the feat.
      • Finally, Jon gets to the save screen... and the game crashes, with the audio playing, resulting in this.
        Jon: OH GOD! The demon children have risen!
    • At the end of the stream, Jon raids someone playing pinball. The streamer initially refuses to acknowledge that it's a raid because no one would raid someone playing pinball, then they wonder who Jon is, blame the raiders for slowing down his pinball game, and finally starts timing people out.
  • Fortune Cookie: All LEGO Salt, All The Time Edition
    • Jon describes the Genesis version of The Adventures of Batman and Robin as "a beat-em-up shmup."
    • During his fight with the game's first boss, Harley Quinn in a robot tank, a powerup spawns behind it. After waiting an eternity for Harley to move to the other side of the screen so he can get to the powerup, Jon ends up learning the hard way that it actually makes Batman's shots worse.
    • "And after all that we cover our face with our cape because that's what Batman would actually do."
    • Less than half an hour into the stream, it crashes.
    • "And now, for some reason A TRUCK!!!"
    • "Oh fuck, Batman's greatest villain: balloons!"
    • "You wouldn't expect punching a hot-air balloon to be that effective."
    • "We didn't wanna show the Joker our cape this time."
    • Following the line above, Jon notes how all three of those Nintendo Hard sequences he went through up to that point composed the first stage alone.
    • "Thank god Batman can somehow survive more than one explosion."
    • Jon ends up beating Two-Face too quickly, causing his blimp to take a comically long time to explode. Then Two-Face suddenly descends from the blimp on fire.
    • Jon decides to run a Strawpoll on whether or not to keep playing the game; the results end up being roughly 50/50.
    • When Jon reopens Strawpoll for the Fortune Cookie, he ends up getting an absurdly small sliver of the page.
    • The fact that Jon's third Strawpoll (after completing another round of The Adventures of Batman and Robin) is titled "That took way too fucking long. For the love of god let's play something else."
    • Jon decides to play Killer Instinct with Cinder's bright yellow palette, which he dubs "Pee Cinder". He loses. Then he switches to Cinder's dark yellow palette, which he calls "Dark Pee Cinder", and wins.
      Jon: Dark pee won.
    • Jon speculating the possibility of a calculator port of Doom, and his guest commentator NYVideoGameFreak revealing how one of his friends once made a TI-83 port of the game.
      • Later, NYVGF reveals that someone managed to get an ATM to run the ROM of Doom. Eventually, someone in the chat provides a link to itrunsdoom.tumblr.com.
    • Jon realizes that the winners of the Magfest and Pax East Thrown Controllers panels were both named Steve and both won under the exact same conditions.
    • Jon's brief confusion as to whether or not Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale is an RPG. note 
    • After the slew of Ultra Combos inflicted on him in Killer Instinct, Jon dubs his next Strawpoll "ULTRAAAAAAAAAAAA COOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE".
    • Upon realizing that he will be streaming from his Xbox One for the first time to stream Puyo Puyo Tetris, Jon predicts that the console will catch on fire.
    • Since Jon can't read Japanese, he decides to name the various characters of Puyo Puyo Tetris based on how they look. Since this is Jon we're talking about, the results are something to behold. A few highlights include "Bear with Science" (Risukuma), "The World's Most Extreme Bugcatcher" (Sig), "Wonder Twins Unite!" (Jay & Elle), and "A Motherfuckin' Robot" (Zed). Later, Jon discovers that his character (Bear with Science) is literally named "Squirrel Bear-senpai".
    • The chat takes a liking to the Gratuitous English that appears throughout Puyo Puyo Tetris.
    • "Dammit, we lost to the kung-fu fish." (Suketoudara)
    • NYVGF predicts that Squirrel Bear-senpai's "Mmm" voice clip will be incorporated into an egg soundbyte.
    • Angry at the chat's conflict over whether he should keep playing egg soundbytes, Jon decides to end the stream... only to jump right back in again.
    • Using cheat codes, Jon decides to play as a horse in Daytona USA, and careens into the grass for no reason whatsoever. Then he crashes the horse.
      Jon: Horses don't care about grass!
    • Later, Jon manages to get first place with the horse.
      Jon: We won Daytona with a horse; we're champions.
      NYVGF: Well, you made a horse relive its dreams.
    • Jon provides an epicly hilarious background for the horse, who dreamed of running with cars that laughed at its ambitions as it participated in Daytona. At one point, he considers naming the horse "American Dream".
    • Jon managed to beat out Super Mario Maker of all things!
    • Throughout the game, the announcer refers to the horse as a car.
    • In his third race, Jon accidentally activates "first-person horse mode".
    • "For sale: one horse. Gently used."
    • Jon's pleasure at the fact that the horse makes skidding noises.
    • And Then John Was a Horse
    • "If this horse doesn't turn into a hovercar, I'm gonna be very disappointed."
    • One person in the chat suspects Lucahjin of forcing Jon to race as a horse.
    • Jon's third Strawpoll ends up not displaying on-stream, prompting Jon to fake-end the stream a second time out of frustration the moment he finds out.
    • For those watching the stream without chat, hearing NYVGF say "please don't drink rubbing alcohol, that sounds like a very bad idea" out of nowhere can elicit a few chuckles.
    • Jon repeatedly spams an egg soundbyte that uses the first line of "The Hero", leading to an absurdly long loop of "You will give me ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!!!!!"
    • Jon's disbelief at the description on the back of the box for Countdown Vampires; the mentioning of "white water" particularly sticks out. Then he learns how polarizing it was to reviewers, scoring a perfect 100 on one source and a 1.5/10 on another.
    • Jon and NYVGF decide to pull a MST3K on Countdown Vampires, continuously riffing on the game's quality.
      • During the intro cutscene, "Jason Voorhees is mixing drinks" said in an Unusually Uninteresting Sight tone.
      • Among other things, NYVGF calls a photo of one character a Japanese rendering of Steve Jobs.
      • Near the beginning of their run, Jon receives a donation from a user named Vampire Cat (referencing a rather odd part of the intro where a cat becomes a vampire).
      • Jon's bafflement after being told that he's locked himself out of the good ending. note 
      • Jon dies from a time-out, having expected a cutscene or more vampires. He then surmises that he had died of a heart attack. Someone in the chat speculates that "Someone used the Death Note for good, finally."
      • Following the above death, Jon names his character "Heart Attack".
    • Near the end of the stream, Jon's internet slowly starts to give out on him, taking away services one by one. By the end, he has no internet access at all (on his computer, all other devices were fine), but somehow the stream still keeps going. Naturally, it all fixed itself immediately after he chose to end the stream in frustration.
      • This happened while streaming Super Mario Maker, so Jon decided to stream some Mario Maker in the following stream to make up for it. It happened again. Jon later tweeted that Mario Maker must be cursed.
  • Fortune Cookie: All Games Delayed Until 2017 Edition
    • When a mystery game wins a Cookie, Jon asks a follow-up question of whether viewers want a good or bad game. The latter wins overwhelmingly, before he reveals the bad game to be the Bee Movie video game. As he plays through it, Jon takes the time to constantly remind the viewers that this is what they voted on.
      • From the start, the game seems destined to not work, with Jon's setup alternating for a while between the game not properly displaying on his TV and his capture card not working properly, to the point that he and Gex almost consider it divine intervention to stop Jon from playing it.
      • It comes up at one point that IGN gave the game a 6.8/10, which starts a recurring conversation point of games that IGN considers it almost as good as or better than, including Hyrule Warriors, Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, and Kirby: Triple Deluxe.
  • Fortune Cookie: Fundraiser to Buy Over 100 Waluigi amiibos Edition
    • The Intermission screen for this stream is filled with Waluigi gifs, to celebrate the announcement of Waluigi amiibos during E3.
    • Jon plays Bomberman Quest and commentates over the opening, in which balls of light attack Bomberman's prison vessel, steal its engines, and cause it to seemingly explode before crashing. Jon jokes that Bomberman is dead and the story is over, as it cuts to a visual of Bomberman unconscious... and the game crashes. He and the chat decide that his ending is canon.
      • Perhaps it should have been, as everyone notices that the gameplay revolves around killing everyone else who survived the crash. Including the ones who aren't fighting back. Including one who tells him he hasn't done anything.
    • Jon plays the PlayStation version of The Lost Vikings 2 (which had been given the Chugga-worthy Punny Name of Norse by Norsewest) and then puts on the SNES version to contrast them, leading to much amusement about the PS version's voice acting and horror at the Off-Model interpretation of the wolfman character Fang (who is voiced by someone doing a Gilbert Gottfried impression). However, Jon said that he liked the music from the PlayStation version better.
    • This is followed by a Fortune Cookie in which Taz-Mania comes up for the second time in a short period. The chat decide this is destiny and it's obviously going to win...until, that is, the other games offered by the Cookie are Kirby's Dream Course, Trauma Centre: Under the Knife 2, Chibi-Robo!, and Resident Evil: Code Veronica.
      Jon: This is the best cookie we've had, like, ever!
  • Fortune Cookie: Disorganized Chaos As Always Edition
    • The first egg sound that played for subs was so bad, Jon outright removes it from rotation. It contained offnote singing.
    • Jon shared some unusual dreams that he had.
      • One has him attending some kind of party at a lodge, attended by people from his hometown in Newfoundland. He wanders off by himself for whatever reason, and stumbles upon a Thrown Controllers panel with nobody running it, so he starts running it by himself. In it, there was a "Murder" question with a slideshow of 11 questions. The contestant, Tom Fawkes, despite being given extra time, refuses to answer those questions. Then the next slideshow is about female representation in puzzle video games, causing him to wonder what the hell the questions are about.
      • One dream has a family of turkeys who owed a farmer money but could not pay him back, so the father turkey offers himself to be the farmer's Thanksgiving dinner to settle the debt. At the end of the dream, Jon learned that the amount of money the turkeys owed was $1.69.
      • One has a McDonald's that uses a ball pit to turn adults into kids, then raises the kids so that they grow up to be completely loyal to McDonald's and only buy McDonald's products. An undercover secret agent who was sent to stop them was able to retain his adult mind after being de-aged, so he pilots an F-15 out of the playplace area and uses it to blow up everything.
    • While Jon plays Mighty No. 9, Tim raids the chat. Two guesses as to what happens next.
    • The last game Jon plays on that stream is Metal Wolf Chaos, and every moment of gameplay and reaction from Jon and the chat is absolute gold.
  • Fortune Cookie: Countdown to Breaking New Desk Edition
    • The first Cookie of the night contained two Ghouls 'n Ghosts games and two Ninja Gaiden games. The fifth game won the vote with a commanding lead: Superman for the Game Boy.
    • After most every other game played in the stream has glitched or otherwise gone wrong, Superman 64 appears in the final Cookie. Jon promptly lets it in since the stream can't get much worse, and when it inevitably wins the poll he sets the language to Spanish, sets the screen size to 20%, and stops giving a shit.
      • Jon states that there was a big reveal he was saving for the end of his LP of the game, but since it's taken so long, he decides to casually drop it while playing: the ring challenges are all gone on Easy difficulty.
      • Someone in the chat jokes that Jon should crop the display so the 20% resolution gameplay would take up the full display (which, mind you, would cut out HUD elements such as the health bar and 90% of on-screen text). Jon does exactly that. Choice reactions from the chat include saying they could count the number of on-screen pixels, and discovering that the video quality is so terrible that setting the stream to the lowest possible video quality actually makes it look better.
    • Wild Mass Guessing from the chat as to why every game was screwing up so badly included theories such as "the new desk is cursed" and "this is karma punishing Jon for starting the stream by playing an actual good game" (the Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night E3 demo).
  • Fortune Cookie: Gearing Up for ConBravo edition
    • The first game Jon plays is the N64 Rogue Squadron. First he refers to the protagonist as "Loog Skywalker" and then Wedge constantly asking for help leads to the Running Gag "Wedge, why are you so bad at your job?!" He also plays a mission where he has to help the people of a planet called Gerrard V, which he interprets as "Jirard and his four brothers". While on that mission, he runs out of "photon torpedoes" (meaning proton, ironically) and his Xbox One turns on when it hears him say that syllable.
    • Jon learns that he could potentially hold the Guinness World Record for the longest LP with Superman 64 (for reference, it started on June 17, 2010 and is still ongoing). His reaction was priceless.
  • Fortune Cookie: Countdown to Next Con Edition
    • When Jeopardy! for the Nintendo 64 wins a Cookie, Jon decides to play the part of Trebek, with his co-commentators Dan, Khead, and Jewker as the contestants. Coming into Final Jeopardy, Jewker has a commanding lead, and Dan and Jewker both bet everything they have, while Khead bets all but $1. When the clue asks who the longest-reigning queen in the world at the time is, all three players respond with Queen Elizabeth II, only for them all to realize at the last second it's most likely wrong because the clue was asking from the perspective of when the game was released, not modern day. After a Mass "Oh, Crap!", they all get the answer wrong, leading to Khead winning because he was the only person to not bet everything. Then the game reveals the correct response: Elizabeth II. The game counted them as wrong because Jon included the word "Queen" in all their answers, so it wouldn't autocorrect properly. The resulting salt is legendary.
      Dan: That's one for TV Tropes!
    • The triumphant(?) return of Bomberman Act:Zero after two years.
  • Fortune Cookie: Sick Trick Edition
    • Jon was playing Battletoads, when he hears the stream playing, and immediently blames Ultaki since he was new at co-comming. Then Taki reveals that the sound was Gex, who accidentally joined the call without realizing it and immediately left after apologizing.
    • While playing Battletoads, he gets raided with "Sorry Jon I would watch but Pcull is streaming." He originally subverts his standard countermeasures by pretending to end the stream...before activating the real countermeasures.
    • Jon gets raided again later... but is so focused on the game he's playing that he completely misses it. He still activates countermeasures as a courtesy, even though the raid had been over for several minutes.
  • Misfortune Cookie: Lady Luck's Revenge Edition
    • Jon introduces Russian Roulette, in which he picks five good games and one bad game, and labeled each option with numbers. On the first round, Option 4 wins. Take a guess as to what type of game it was. Jon calls out his viewers on this.
    • The chat chooses number 4 every time. Naturally, it's a bad game almost every time.
    • The Fortune Cookie audio is reversed after some viewers suggested it. Then, some viewers submit the reversed Intermission music and reversed Raid Countermeasures. When the latter is sent in, Jon tells a brief story about what went on.
    • One of the Strawpolls is titled "You can crush Jon's spirit, but there's one thing a Canadian always keeps... HIS SYRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" A bit of (probably unintentional) meta-humor becomes involved considering that the Ocean dub of Dragon Ball Z was produced in Canada.
  • Danger Squad Challenge, Then Fortune Cookie: Pre-PAX West Edition
    • Jon's misfortune with the voice recognition systems in Lifeline.
      • Jon and the chat both enjoy the intro dialogue line "I can't believe we're spending Christmas in Space!" and dub the whole game concept "Die Hard IIIIN SPAAAACE".
      • Jon finishes the segment by trying "Fortune Cookie" as a voice command. Bizarrely, this makes Rio run round and round a table. Jon then almost knocks a glass over and Jake acts as though this is the game bleeding into Real Life, giving voice commands to Jon to save the glass.
    • Everything involving the revelation that Brian's name is actually Ryan.
      Jon: I'd like to point out I called you Brian five times in this stream and you've responded every single time.
      (B)Ryan: Yeah, well, now I caught you.
      Jon: ...Brian, I've been calling you Brian the entire time I've known you. You've responded every single time. You have literally responded to Brian for half a year now!
      • The best part: Jon says that when they first met, he thought his name was Ryan, but then someone else called him Brian and he responded to it, so Jon figured he was wrong.
    • He tries two rounds of Mario Superstar Baseball note  and utterly fails at both of them, angered to the point of throwing his controller and playing the "Stream Over" video.
    • Jon plays Friends: The One With All The Trivia despite knowing almost nothing about Friends. He gets several trivia questions wrong in a row, then finally gets one right - and the power goes out in half of Canada. When the stream comes back up, the chat makes "Friends Killed Canada" into a running gag.
    • After joking that Seaman (another microphone game) will come up on Cookie, it actually does!
  • Fortune Cookie: Always in Beta Edition
    • Jon devised a minigame that uses bits donated by viewers. As it was in beta, he set it to five rounds. When bits are donated, the panels vanish to reveal an image. While the chat never reached round 4, the images before then were amusing:
      • Round 1: Fake Smash Bros. splash for Wesker with the tagline "Wesker will give you an egg"
      • Round 2: WaluRobo (RoboCop with Waluigi's face)
      • Round 3: Skeletor with Jon's head
    • The first game he plays? An NES bootleg of Final Fantasy VII. He becomes incredibly salty during this as nearly every encounter contains at least one enemy that can heal more damage than Jon can deal in one turn, causing most battles to drag on and on.
    • He plays a DVD game based on Deal or No Deal... which he discovers has a 2-player option for some reason, so he goes with that and Jewker joins in. At one point, Jon receives a donation from the joke account "FiveFreeGoogleSearches", a Call-Back to when Jon played a different version of Deal or No Deal with his friend and roommate Dan (aka Kelekin).
  • Fortune Cookie: Prepping For TwitchCon Edition
    • Prior to playing the NES game based on Gilligan's Island, Jon accidentally hits both "End of Stream" and "Loading Stream" at the same time after an announcement regarding shirts.
      • Jon's exasperated reaction when the game shows up in the Cookie, for one particular reason.
      • The irony of Jon, commonly associated with Pepsiman, finding dried-up Coke in the Gilligan's Island cart.
      • Jon's amazement at the sprite of Skipper holding a club, which he compares to Fred Flintstone. Cue chat spamming the inevitable GRAND DAD.
      • The influx of Harambe memes during both of Jon's fights with the gorilla.
      • Hell, the gorilla fights themselves are gems, for being complete Curb-Stomp Battles both times. The first time Jon ends up being beaten to a pulp because he didn't have the club, and the second time Jon returns the favor to the gorilla after getting the club.
    • Jon plays Clustertruck for the first time, and predictably is rather shaky with the skill, not helped with the chat trying to screw him over with crippling events. Then things started getting interesting and hysterical when a developer decides to show up and screw with Jon. Some effects include super low gravity, turning the trucks blue (when asking for his favorite color), and even turning the entire level black and white with incredibly high contrast while making everything in zero gravity. To Jon's horror during the zero gravity segment, Lasertrucks was the winning event. Copious amounts of hilarity ensued.
    • During another round of F-Zero X, Jon accidentally drives off the course, only to be followed by nearly everyone else, causing him to break down in hysterics.
      • To elaborate, he was playing the X-Cup, and the part where he fell off course was a hairpin turn so severe that even the AI failed to turn in time.
    • The very fact that Jon got raided five times during the stream.
      • The very first raid was from MasaeAnela, who had never seen the "Raid Countermeasures" video before and ended up breaking down in laughter when it played. You can watch her reaction here.
      • The second raid ended up being pretty minor, causing Jon to shrink the Countermeasures video to an unrealistically small aspect ratio before shoving it into the corner of the screen.
  • Fortune Cookie: Back to the Grind Edition
    • The first game is the obscure Revengers of Vengeance, and it mostly involves Jon getting his ass handed to him by the AI.
    • Jon playing the Warehouse and Logistics Simulator's Zombie Mode, which involves trying to get the end of the stage with a forklift while running down zombies. Cue a modified version of the Forklift song.
    • Perhaps one of the best donation gifts/eggs to date came from user myohel0 who created this video, leaving everyone in the call and chat in hysterics.
  • Fortune Cookie: Avoiding Responsibilities Edition
  • Fortune Cookie: Punching a Wall of Games Edition
    • Jon's adventures in Pokémon Snap, naming his character "Paparaz" note  and taking pictures of Pokémon butts for Professor Oak.
    • When Jon plays Sonic Generations for the 3DS, he misinterprets a question about the song Sonic Boom to be about the video game Sonic Boom. A few fans insult him for his confusion, and in retaliation Jon pretends to end the stream, then decides to ban all Sonic games from the Cookie for a month. And this is on the heels of the last Fortune Cookie stream dedicating a whole segment to the general toxicity of fandoms.
      • Becomes even better when he plays Awesome Possum... Kicks Dr. Machino's Butt for a later cookie, and the game's general terribleness and bizarre, Anvilicious trivia questions cause him to decide that if any Sonic games appear in the Cookie for the next month, he'll just put Awesome Possum on the poll instead.
    • One donator sends in a clip of him improvising a comedic song for Jon. Things quickly derail when the singer starts ranting about the protonBomb emote, disturbingly describing how Jon effectively decapitated Bomberman and turned his head into a lamp before launching the hashtag #BringTheBombsBack. Then the singer plugs his own Twitch channel, before frantically ending the song to the best of his improvisational abilities.
    • Pretty much the entirety of the Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance segment, due to the game being built on awesomeness.
    • The final cookie is a Misfortune Cookie, with the game in 5th place being what Jon will play. When the timer runs out, there ends up being a three-way tie between Shadow of the Colossus, Mario vs. Donkey Kong, and Saints Row IV: Enter the Dominatrix for fifth place. Jon asks Khead to decide the game since it's his birthday, but then realizes that since it's past midnight, it's technically no longer his birthday. Instead, Jon rolls a die to decide the winning game... then keeps the result a secret until after an intermission. Shadow of the Colossus ends up winning, only for the stream to be cut short midway through the segment when Bagel chews through Jon's headset cable.
      XenobladeMonicals: TvTropes is gonna have some fun with this...
  • Charity Fortune Cookie Stream in Support of Direct Relief
    • The way Jon sets up the stream: People can put their donations towards any game of their choice, and each round the choices in the Cookie are whatever 10 games have the most money at that point. However, if a game makes it to $500 it must be played no matter what, and a round of Cookie is skipped. Naturally, the instant the stream starts, someone donates $1,000: $500 for Battletoads, and $500 for Jon's choice of Kaizo Mario World 1, 2, or 3.
      • Not only that, but so many games reached the $500 mark that no actual Cookie took place during this supposed Cookie stream, and it took two more streams just to get through them all.
    • While Jon is playing Kaizo 2, a viewer donates but instead of suggesting a game, he'll let Jon pick. Jon comments (without sarcasm) that he'd "pick something easy, like Ninja Gaiden" - and the chat explodes with people stunned at the fact that Jon really is so good at Ninja Gaiden that he'd consider it an easy choice.
    • The creative process Jon undergoes to create monsters in Amazing Island is a sight to behold. It yields such interesting creatures as Not a Cop?, a vaguely dragon-like creature with cartoon gloves for hands and a bolt stuck in its head; and Scrungles, a humanoid creature with a bird's beak, horribly mismatched Floating hands (one being a small dagger while the other is an enormous fist), eyes located on the knuckles of the enormous fist, and a pair of glasses located on its head where the eyes should be.
      • One of the first real events Jon does is what appears to be a normal foot race, but Not a Cop? moves so absurdly fast during the race that Jon's left in hysterics by the end.
      • Jon's bafflement when, after the game establishes that the player character is the first human to be seen on the island for a long time, he goes into the shop to find another human character selling upgrades.
    • The final game of the night, Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers, generally befuddles Jon and all others present due to its sheer ridiculousness. Highlights include that picking up a nut unlocks the achievement "My First Nut", and Jon's utter glee when he discovers the main character can use his gravity powers to lift a giant spherical statue over his head like it's nothing.
      Jon: [singing] He's got the whooooole world in his hand!
    • Jon discovers that when he opens the first door in the game, it reveals the title card of the game behind it, and laughs his head off.
      Jon: What is this game? Why do I have a news crawl on the screen? Why is bagpipe music playing?!
    • Jon gets on a train and NPCs seem to start throwing money at him for no apparent reason (actually his character stealing from them):
      Jon: How did I make money? People are giving me money! Why are people giving me money?!
      Jewker: Haven't they been doing that for the last nine or ten hours?
      Jon: [laughs] Not what I meant, Jewker!
  • From "Fortune Cookie: Christmas Shirt Available? Edition - !eggmas for Info":
    • Jon decides to open up the night with Merry Gear Solid: Secret Santa, a Metal Gear-themed Christmas flashgame. While nothing too amusing occurs throughout the game proper, the real punchline comes in when one of the supporting characters is revealed to be Solid Snake, who kills Santa... only to realize he took out the wrong target.
    • Right after Merry Gear Solid wraps up, Jon rolls the first cookie of the night, and one of the possible choices is Metal Gear Solid: VR Missions (a bonus disc from the Japan-only 1999 Integral re-release of the game, the disc itself being available as a standalone title in the west). No guesses as to what won that one.
    • Midway through the half-hour for VR Missions, Jon remembers that he was supposed to do a cookie for the top 10 games that didn't reach the $500 goal during the charity stream. He then takesCthe opportunity to do that next cookie, with A Link to the Past Randomized note  winning. Rather than continue the file from the charity stream, however, Jon decides to create a new file following the results of a Strawpoll. Hilarity Ensues.
      • In light of Bagel chewing up Jon and Lucah's Raphael doll, Jon decides to name Link "Raph", only to accidentally type "RAPR". He goes with it.
      • The very first item RAPR obtains is the Magic Cape; Jon quickly realizes that this means he could potentially fight Agahnim early. However, Jon gets a better idea: fight Agahnim early with Zelda following him. Thus, we get treated to the sight of Zelda watching herself get taken to the Dark World.
      • Once Jon successfully takes Zelda to the Agahnim fight and defeats Agahnim, he gets sent to the Dark World as per the original game's plot... only to find out that Zelda's mysteriously disappeared. This leads Jon and nearly everyone else to believe that Zelda died due to Jon messing with the timeline. Furthermore, this leads everyone to think the same of the Zelda that was supposed to go to the Dark World. One viewer, meanwhile, comes up with the theory that the early-game Zelda and RAPR fused in a way reminiscent of both Dragon Ball Z and JoJolion, and tweets Jon his depiction of the result.
      • After the whole disappearing Zelda debacle, Jon decides to reset the game and return to the Light World to see if anything's changed. He sees that the game now acts as if the Zelda Escort Mission was completed as normal, with the rain gone and the Sanctuary priest alive, despite him having supposed to have died shortly before the Agahnim fight; meanwhile, RAPR is also able to go to the Dark World through Hyrule Castle's gate and the lumberjack brothers have stopped cutting their tree, meaning that the game simultaneously recognizes that Agahnim was defeated. note  Jon and the chat are left in complete confusion at this apparent state of affairs, once again blaming it on Jon messing with the timeline.
        Jon: So far we've killed off two Zeldas, we've saved the pastor, and we've gone to the Dark World. Clearly we're doing the Lord's work.
      • Overlapping with Moment of Awesome, Jon continues to play the game regardless of its apparent messed-up state and finds the cavern with a friendly thief and several chests. From the thief's gift and the chests, Jon manages to find four Heart Pieces in that room alone, leaving him utterly baffled.
    • After a session of Bayonetta 2 and a session of Harvest Moon GB, Jon's final game of the night is Pokémon: Puzzle League. Most of the run is spent mocking the So Bad, It's Good voice acting from the various characters, until Jon reaches the Tracey Sketchit battle. There, he runs into this infamous glitch, where the Puzzle Block stack keeps rising nonstop. Everyone breaks into hysterics as the block stacks grow progressively faster while the AI scrambles to continue arranging Puzzle Blocks. Jon decides that this is a perfect way to end the stream.
  • Fortune Cookie: Be Jolly, Or Not, It's OK Edition
    • Minutes after Jon starts the stream, Bagel knocks over the Christmas tree, forcing Jon to go into Intermission.
    • Tom pretending to be a drive-thru attendant.
      Jon: What do you have as the toy this week, for the Happy Meals?
      [Beat]
      Tom: Washer/dryer.
      [Mitch, who has been holding in his laughter through the whole impromptu skit, finally loses it, as does Jon]
    • Jon gets three Oregon Trail-type games in a row (in three separate cookies). note 
  • Danger Squad: Contra NES & Fortune Cookie: Happy December Everyone! Edition
    • Jon plays a Ranma One Half fighting game as Genma the panda and discovers that every fight ends with him giving a unique taunt to his defeated opponent, but then always finishing it with "I just wish that pandas could talk", the repetition of which gradually becomes hilarious.
    • Jon plays lots of cutscenes from the Hide and Sneak Mickey Mouse game he played last stream, including several unexpectedly epic moments and a lot of Double Standard with Mickey overcoming problems in a badass way and Minnie bumbling her way through the same ones. Including one cutscene with a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment of the screen going black in the middle.
    • Jon plays the Jackbox Party Pack game Trivia Murder Party with the chat, and on the second playthrough, early on he gets the penalty where he has to pick one "finger to cut off" meaning he can't choose that option for the later questions. He picks option 4, and unsurprisingly given Jon's luck, that proceeds to be the right answer for almost all the following questions.
    • Since this was the last stream before Christmas, a group of the normal eggsong writers known as the Eggheads (TuneableNine220, Myohel0, XenobladeMonicals, TheManiacalGamer, GreenPowerStar, MasterTimeThief, PhillipPlays, TouyaShiro, EpicGuitar64, BoodaMedz, Tobiashawk, and HeavyBassX) created a Christmas-themed album The reaction to said album broke Jon and the chat more than any bad game and glitch in the last year! Said reaction begins here.
  • Fortune Cookie: Farewell to 2016 Edition
    • Jon starts out with Die Hard: Vendetta which is full of hilarious moments:
      • He plays a lengthy tutorial where the instructor constantly refers to his player character as "John" (McClane), confusing some members of the chat who think it's a co-comm voice.
      • Jon discovers that the game has a "HERO MODE" which involves it going into bullet time while Ode to Joy plays, and laughs his head off.
      • He fails the first mission repeatedly due to punching fellow cops and civilians.
      • As a Self-Imposed Challenge he tries to take on all the baddies using only punching. He very shortly upgrades the challenge to only dick-punching.
      • As Jon dick-punches the last enemy in a room to death, a slow-motion cinematic death cam plays of the killing blow, cracking up Jon and his co-comms for a good few minutes.

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