Funny / Prodigal Son

The Series:

Season 1

Ep. 3 - Fear Response

• This episode subverts the There Are No Therapists trope by revealing that Malcolm does have one...by that we mean the same one he received as a child and whom he still sees despite her insistence Malcolm should see someone more appropriate to his age group.
• Malcolm takes a handful of lollipops from his therapist's office and passes them out at the crime scene. J.T. and Dani are weirded out, but Gil accepts his and immediately puts it in his mouth, doing his usual "detective at a crime scene" thing with a lollipop stick poking out of his mouth.

Ep. 5 - The Trip

• Gil doesn't want Malcolm along on his murder case because (a) it looks like a straight drug hit with no need for a profiler, and (b) he's somewhat concerned that Malcolm hasn't slept in five days. Malcolm snaps, "Have you considered that murder is the only thing keeping me sane right now?" then looks around and sees the entire precinct staring at him. He clarifies, "Solving. Not... doing."
• Malcolm views the crime scene differently than the others.
  Malcolm: Are we sure this is about drugs?
  J.T.: He's literally covered in drugs.
• Malcolm's Mushroom Samba, before it becomes Nightmare Fuel.
  • Gil realises something's up when Malcolm spouts an impromtu gushing speech praising Gil as a Parental Substitute that ends with him cupping his face.
  Gil: [Not moving] He's high as a kite.
  Malcolm: I'm higher than a kite!
  • Dani escorts Malcolm home and tries to keep him calm. He leaps straight onto his sofa yelling, "WE SHOULD THROW AXES!" He then goes back and forth on precisely how many axes he has before deciding the exact number is unimportant as there's definitely enough. Dani puts a stop to the axe-throwing plan.

Ep. 10 - Silent Night

• The case of the week appears to be a murder suicide. Bright does his usual thing which includes handling the murder weapon (a really big revolver) when he cocks the gun while it's pointed at his head. The whole teams freaks out leading to this exchange:
  Bright: Will you relax its not even-oh (looks embarrassed as a crime scene tech runs up takes the gun away)
  Gil: You know how stupid that was?

Ep. 12 - Internal Affairs

• The group is being interviewed about an incident that had occured 12 hours earlier.
  Psychologist: Were you concerned about Bright's mental state?
  JT: Of course I was. If Bright was an actual state, he'd be Florida.
• Not only this, but the psychologist asks whether Malcolm inserts himself where he's not needed after finding out that Malcolm snuck back to work.

Psychologist: Do you often insert yourself where you're not needed?

Dani: Yep.

JT: Oh, yeah.

Gil: 100%

Malcolm: I'm always needed...not always wanted

Ep. 13 - Wait & Hope

• Gil is heartbroken that his Ford Mustang has to be towed away that he had to reprimand JT since he said that it's just a car.
• After getting blown out of a third-story window by a landmine and landing on a car roof, Malcolm has only this to say:
  Malcolm: I'm gonna miss my flight.

Ep. 17 - Stranger Beside You

• The episode has a lot of funny moments.
  • All of the Malcolm/Edrisa moments are too fun.
  • Martin's entire phone conversation. He thinks that Malcolm and Dani got together and got a kid after hearing a baby cry on the phone.
  • Martin and Malcolm's lunch arrangement. Being seated across each other via table as if they were in elementary school.
  • JT worried about his future child being like Malcolm. He advises the detective to just not be a serial killer.

Season 2

Ep. 1 - It's All in the Execution

• JT's WTF look when Edrisa mentions that she's good with knots due to a BDSM phase she went through.
• Malcolm and Martin's first interaction of the season, over the phone:
  Martin: I have great news.
  Malcolm: Please tell me it's cancer.
  Martin: I'm heading home! (beat) Wait, what did you just say?
• Martin having to deal with a new obnoxious cellmate. Eventually he resorts to electrocuting him with a stolen cable... and is shocked when it serves as makeshift ECT and cures the man.
• Malcolm wakes up to find Jessica in his apartment playing on his piano, which she learned to play during quarantine.
• Malcolm's reaction when the killer of the week says that Malcolm has the look of a killer.
  Malcolm: Third person this week... am I giving off killer vibes? Is it the hair?

Ep. 2 - Speak of the Devil

• Malcolm and Ainsley playfully needling Jessica over her relationship with Gil.
• Malcolm falls asleep in the precinct, and after waking from a nightmare finds Dani standing nearby, on edge and wearing body armor. Because she remembers how he freaks out when he has night terrors.

Ep. 3 - Alma Mater

• The episode opens with Martin dreaming of successfully escaping the hospital and reuniting with Jessica, who is overjoyed to see him. Then Malcolm pops in to point out that this would never happen, ruining the illusion and causing Martin to wake up.
  Martin: (annoyed) Little prick.
• Martin calls Malcolm to ask about the next case, only for Malcolm to reply that he's not currently working on one. Cue Gil showing up to tell him personally that they have a case.
  • Then Malcolm hangs up on Martin mid-sentence as he's asking to be put on speaker.
• Malcolm says he'll only investigate a murder at his old prep school "If the victim is the headmaster."
  Gil: So...it's my lucky day, then.
• Edrisa is wearing scuba gear to investigate a body in a pool, popping up to ask "the last time JT brought his wife to orgasm." The others can just stare, even as Edrisa awkwardly explains that it could help induce the overdue birth.
• Malcolm dives, fully dressed, into the pool to retrieve a piece of evidence. So the next time we see him, he's walking into the classroom being used as an interrogation room soaking wet, leaving everyone staring at him.

Ep. 4 - Take Your Father to Work Day

• After some needling from Ainsley, Malcolm agrees to let her cover his next case as long as she doesn't go talk to their father about her problems. Then Gil calls to tell him about the new case the hospital, where Martin is an eyewitness. Malcolm immediately downs his drink.
• Martin's reaction to seeing Jerry's corpse on the court after it fell from the roof.
  Martin: (completely deadpan) Oh no. Not Jerry.
• Gil doesn't want to take Martin as an eyewitness.
• Edrisa turns out to be a huge fan of Martin's medical work, and geeks out over meeting him, to Gil's annoyance.
  Gil: He killed twenty-three people.
  • Later, when Edrisa is filling in Gil and Malcolm in on the details of the initial examination of the body, the latter two are caught off guard when Martin suddenly pipes in over the speaker on Edrisa's phone, as she'd previously called him to consult on the examination. Eventually, Gil hangs up on him.
• Malcolm sits in on Martin's group therapy session to try and analyze the suspects, only for them to realize who he is and make the whole session about his and Martin's relationship.
  • One of the patients lists some of the things he's heard about Malcolm, including how he chopped off a guy's hand in the pilot and later broke his own to escape the Junkyard Killer. This causes Friar Pete to question if he has a thing about hands.
• When Martin and Malcolm are corralled into the hospital's creepy basement by the killer, Martin cheerfully notes that it's the perfect place for a murder and starts waxing poetically about finding the right spot for a kill.
• When the killer is arrested, Martin happily starts reading her Miranda rights, only for Dani to cut in that he's not allowed to do that.

Ep. 5 - Bad Manners

• Edrisa being hopped up on coffee and energy drinks throughout the episode.
• JT asks Gil on what happened to the female the suspect was seen dragging away and if she's okay. Gil says she's not. The camera then shows that the suspect was only dragging a female sex doll he made in secret.
• Jessica asks Mr. David to let her talk to Martin in private, and promises no stabbings.
  • Jessica calls Martin a cancer who corrupts their children the closer they get to him. He quips back that that's not how cancer works.

Ep. 6 - Head Case

• While the Whitlys are discussing how to handle Ainsely's situation, Martin can't help but make it about himself, stating that Malcolm's desire to cover up her actions would have been nice to have in regards to his own murder spree rather than turning him in.
• For once, JT is the one who brings up a piece of obscure trivia regarding a case, specifically when he manages to correctly identify the measuring tool that was used as murder weapon.
• One of the artists interviewed as a potential suspect shows off a piece that's supposed to be an artistic reinterpretation of a vagina. JT is deeply confused by this, even another scene later.
• In Malcolm's hallucination, Gil is the one locked up in the mental hospital. The real Gil isn't happy to hear about this, though Malcolm quips that he pulled off the cardigan look.
  Dani: That man will be buried in a turtleneck.

Ep. 8 - Ouroboros

• Hoxley announcing his presence to the team by blowing the yacht's horn.
• Martin describing Hoxley as having great teeth "for a Brit". He also called Simon a "EuroTrash".
  • He also sarcastically suggest breaking out to help kill Hoxley to cover their tracks. At that moment, Malcolm spots a new victim's body and gives a Rapid-Fire "No!" and then hangs up.
  Martin: ...So that's a no?
• When Jessica and Ainsley point out that Malcolm blocking them out is only making the situation worse, he gets a little snippy payback.
  Malcolm: What should I tell you? That I've been lying to my team? Or about the finger I'm keeping in my fridge?
  Ainsley: What?
  Jessica: I do not want to know about that. (takes a drink)
  Malcolm: Just letting you in.
• Martin and Hoxley's Ham-to-Ham Combat, before it takes a serious turn, is full of them Chewing the Scenery while needling each other.
• Hoxley's reaction when the killer starts shooting at him.
  Hoxley: I can't die in Brooklyn! Don't you have a gun?!
  Malcolm: Don't you?
  Hoxley: I'm British!
  • Also his beautiful line: "We're going to be killed by a millennial? What a twist!"

Ep 9 - Killabustas

• When Edrissa is filling the team in on what she knows about the Vulture, JT is more curious about where her murder board came from.
  Edrissa: Home. I have a bunch of them.
• Malcolm freaks out when he finds out that Martin is fantasizing about Dr. Capshaw. He then says that he's leaving. Martin stops fantasizing.
• Malcolm and Dani think Blaze is the killer and freaking out as he's with Edrisa. They race to her place to find clothes all over the kitchen and think "he beat us here." Cue a half-naked Edrisa and Blaze popping up from behind the counter.
  Dani: Are you sure about that profile?
  Malcolm: I...was.
  Blaza: Wait, you think I'm the Vulture?
  Malcolm: It was a working theory but...the real Vulture would never order takeout.
  • And it turns out the "takeout" is actually the victim's head.
  • Then later, Edrisa notes "I know it's odd I'm still hungry for takeout."
• Edrissa referring to Malcolm's near-empty fridge as "the fridge of a very lonely man".

Ep 10 - Exit Strategy

• Jessica is surprised to find that Malcolm woke up without her noticing.
  Jessica: I didn't hear you scream.
  Malcolm: I don't always wake up screaming.
  Jessica: Don't you?
• Gil very pointedly tells Malcolm to stay away from his car, since he's had to have it rebuilt twice.
• When it's mentioned that the case was called in on a landline, JT asks who uses landlines anymore. Gil says "I do" at the same time that Dani says "old people".
• When Jessica shows Martin the key she found, he says it's the key to his heart. Then he later suggests that it could be for a closet going to Narnia.

Ep 12 - Sun and Fun

• Martin lampshades that something may be wrong with Vivian. That was after she stabbed herself.

---