Pretty much any time pokecapn is surprised or flustered, and descends into gibberish, profanity-laced screaming or simply screaming like a girl.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
- In "Autosave? That's so 2000!", pokecap'n gets his first game over and hopes he doesn't have to restart the level.pokecapn: I have to start the whole game from the start!
medibot: Amazing.
pokecapn: No! - As they order some General Tso's, pokecapn dubs over the audio with some Sonic Adventure music. Right as the music cuts off...medibot: Ideas!
- Their reaction to the sound-effect of Silver hovering when he first encounters Sonic, and started doing a rendition of the themesong of The Jetsons. "Dau-ghter Shadowwwwwww!" "CROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
- Solving the "Find the Captain" puzzle.
- In Silver's playthrough, they pull the same thing during one of Silver's puzzles involving sneaking past guards.
pokecapn: Fuck this. [Completes the puzzle without even trying; the Goons erupt in laughter.]
Medibot: ...They didn't see you!
IlluminatusVespucci: What the fuck?- And later on, during Silver's runthrough of Radical Train:
Guide: If you fail at adjusting the scales, use the switch nearby.Kung-Fu Jesus: You have got to be kidding me.pokecapn: -fffffffffffffffffffffffff--Medibot + IlluminatusVespucci: (in unison) Physics puzzle... - "Gotta be careful not to fall off here."
- "I cannot reliably move in... straight lines... or in left or right lines!"
- Oh, Radical Train...
- "UH OH, I'M A TARD-ASS!"
- Another great bit is when Sonic hits a wall and falls SIDEWAYS to his death.
- The reaction from the goons is hysterical right after. "Cha— FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" "Zip zop zoom!" "The train, is late." "The train... is late."
- In-between attempts, when pokecapn is traversing back to the train station:
Tails: Press the Square button in the air to do a Bound Jump.
Goon: Press the Square butto- the swear button to use the fuck attack!- The discussion from around this point:Kung-Fu Jesus: ...so yeah, it is amazing, but not in the right way.
medibot: It's kinda like on those nature shows on PBS.
Kung-Fu Jesus: No, it's not.
medibot: Well except, y'know, more trains and less animals.
IlluminatusVespucci: Mutual of Omaha presents Oh Fuck, A Bomb! - pokecapn's angrish rant: "NO! THIS IS UNCONTROLLABLE! The game! Cannot be! Controlled! By human reflexes alone! (loses a life) I need a program to slow down the movements of the joystick, so it does not go more than one sensitivity level in either direction! (Kung-Fu Jesus chimes in with "You're too slow~!", right as he flies off the stage and loses his last life) MOTHER OF SHIT! FU-HU-HUUUUCK!"
- medibot's ill-fated attempt: "OH GOD I'M SO NOT READY, I'VE NEVER DONE A MACH SPEED, HELP, HOW DO ... HOW DO I INHALE!? HOW ... WHAT ... Do I just press down to copy their power?" note
- "I-I was pressing right! And he was just humping the wall, why are you humping the wall, Sonic?"
- "In so many other games I can just sort of suspend my disbelief, and be like 'okay, something wacky is happening.' Well, okay, that's fine, I'm playing a video game, this isn't real life. But what do you say to a game that... breaks the rules of video games?" - Medibot
- Sonic's in-game "reaction" to Kung-Fu Jesus's comment after this line:Elise: I owe you a lot, Sonic...
KFJ: Like a blowjob.
Sonic: (small agreeing chuckle)
The Goons: WHOA!!- From the same part, this bit:
Sonic (carrying Elise): Gotta make sure I don't fall in the water!(touches a nearby Booster Pad, immediately launching him and Elise into the water to their deaths before the Goons can react)Pokecapn: GRRR, AAAAARGH! MOTHERFUCKING-!Medibot: Zing!Kung-Fu Jesus: Booster Pad, into the death! - AGENT SMITH BONGOS DOT GIF.
- I AM MANIPULATING THE DATA!
- I'M FULL OF OWLS!
- In part 14, when a robot kills Sonic with physics-destroying bendy lasers in the Test of Courage. Besides the inevitable Atomic F-Bomb ... This gem occurs.medibot: All the bacon in the world couldn't save you now!
All: All the bacon in the world couldn't save you now! 'Cause! IT'S A LASER! IT'S A LASER! IT'S A LASER! IT'S A LASER! - The further the Goons get into the game, the more cynical and snarky they become.Silver: This is so unbelievable...
Medibot: Saying what we're all thinkinnggggg...
IlluminatusVespucci: "I can't believe they actually made a game this bad!"
Silver: Now... I must fight for the future!
Pokecapn: Noooooo—
IlluminatusVespucci: (dismissively laughs) Yeeessss!
Pokecapn: Just get to the action stages.- The Goons begin lifting clusters of rocks using Silver's telekinesis, but they quickly find out the rocks don't separate into individual parts - the clusters are just sort of glued together.
Kung-Fu Jesus: That's... really bad.
IlluminatusVespucci: You've got rock friends.
Medibot: Are you just gonna collect as much rock as you can?
Pokecapn: (laughs) What do you think?
Medibot: I think collecting rock is a good idea.
(They run into a family having a picnic while Silver is still holding the rocks. They start swinging the rocks around.)
Kung-Fu Jesus: PFFT! "Nice picnic you're having!"
Medibot: This is what I'm talking about!
Pokecapn: If this was implemented better, it would definitely be asshole physics. - "It's a Football." (clearly a soccer ball)
- "Soccerballlll."
- "Football."
- "Americaaa."
- "Follow the Egg Carrier."Kung-Fu Jesus: "Follow the Egg Carrier."
Medibot: Follow the Owl Carrier.
Kung-Fu Jesus: Have we even seen the Egg Carrier?
Pokecapn: ...We haven't seen it.
Medibot: We just assume there is one.
Kung-Fu Jesus: It's like a movie called "Horses! Horses! Horses!", and there's not a single fucking horse in the whole movie! - This moment in the Aquatic Base, when they start playing as Knuckles, and the camera and controls work together to become as unwieldy as possible.
- "Great!" "GREAT, THE CAMERA SHAT ITSELF!"
- The beginning of Shadow's story – the audio was deleted and they had to redo their commentary... and the dialogue. With the voices of the characters of Metal Gear Solid. Keep in mind that this was recorded AFTER the end of the LP. Also, this:pokecapn: Hey, Sonic-2006-ites, this is still pokecapn...
IlluminatusVespucci: This is still IlluminatusVespucci.
Kung-Fu Jesus: This is still... poke... capn... ew.
(They all start laughing.)
medibot: And this is new and improved, with 50% less fat medibot!- A bizarre conversation during that video leads to this wonderful statement from a possibly-drunk Kung-Fu Jesus.
medibot: We'll have to put IlluminatusVespucci in a basket made of reeds and float him down the river.
Kung-Fu Jesus: He'll be found by an Egyptian princess, and her name will be "Rose Red". And she'll found a hospital for cancer children. And then it will be haunted. And then we'll have to hire a paranormal investigator. And...well, you know the rest of the story.- Mephiles' voice near the end of video 19 is nothing short of hilarious, especially when combined with his zombie-like behavior and the sound-effects courtesy of the other goons.
- "I'm Mephiles, Mephiles the Dark. And I cut myself, sometimes..."
- "I owe much to you, Shadow... NNNNGGGGHHHHH..."
- "NOW GET IN THE MOON!"
- When Rouge is describing Soleanna to Shadow: "And they export potassium. Also exporting lolicon."
- There's also this gem.E-123 Omega: What is Eggman up to? Who is Mephiles?
Kung-fu Jesus: He's Satan, you bitch!- Later:
GUN Agent: Agent Shadow, we've lost contact with Agent Rouge. Head to the warehouse district immediately.
Pokecapn: We've lost contact?! She's only like one mile away from where I am!
Kung-Fu Jesus: Call her on her cell phone!- Shadow's duel with Silver is as... well-designed as one would expect.
Pokecapn: ASSWANK!- "Okay, this is... crap!"
Silver: HOW 'BOUT THIS?!
Pokecapn: Shit on it! (defeats Silver and proceeds to use Chaos Spear repeatedly)
Kung-Fu Jesus: Take shits all over his face!
Shadow: (upon receiving a B Rank) Guess that was alright.
Medibot: Yeah, it... doesn't even fuckin' matter. - The LPers' hysterical laughter when Shadow kicks Silver in the back of the head.
- Sanford Kong's parade of barrels.
- pokecapn completely freaks out upon having to go through one particular room. After being reassured it's only one room, he rebuts, "IT'S A STUPID ROOM!"
- Speaking of said level, it takes them almost an hour to complete Silver's Dusty Desert, after all of the deaths and the time it takes to complete the puzzles in the level.Kung-Fu Jesus: (during one of the easiest puzzles) This is the stupidest puzzle I've ever seen.
Pokecapn: (on the billiard ball puzzle) FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU - After spending 5 minutes defeating Silver's first boss.Silver: That took too long.
Kung-Fu Jesus: No shit!
medibot: You're a master... of the obvious! - After playing through a town mission as Amy, this happens.
- Silver's version of Kingdom Valley is absolutely rife with astounding physics. Such examples are at 13:01 and 15:38.Kung-Fu Jesus: ...Great. (right as he says this, the physics in the game proceed to collapse. Description of the scene is impossible.)
Pokecapn: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Goons: (uncontrollable laughter)
Medibot: What was that, son?! - The Goons discussing the logistics of Eggman being an inter-dimensional being while completely ignoring the scene where Amy and Elise discuss love is highly amusing.
- Earlier in the playthrough, during the confrontation between Mephiles and Shadow, rather than feel ensnared by the drama and suspense of the scene, they munch on chips.
- "I'm on a roll!"
- The advent of the Thriller Lizards. From later on:
pokecapn: It's Thriller Night in the Aquatic Base.
Kung-Fu Jesus: Yeah, I know. Robotnik gets all his dudes together-
medibot: It's so marginally excellent!
Kung-Fu Jesus: Marginally.
medibot: Well it's just, y'know, it's the little things, I guess, in this train wreck of a game, the little things make us happy.
Kung-Fu Jesus: And I'm pretty sure most of this was unintentional.
medibot: I don't care!
pokecapn: They probably genuinely thought this was someone crying out in pain, and not a worm dancing. - A side conversation while running through Kingdom Valley for the third time.Kung-Fu Jesus: This is like the music from Gladiator when he's dying, y'know? That's how we feel right now.
medibot: We're dying.
Kung-Fu Jesus: We're dying, and we're at the end.
medibot: We're dying for Sonic Team's sins.
Kung-Fu Jesus: ...Well, I am Kung-Fu Jesus. - The tragic cutscene that kicks off the final chapter.Kung-Fu Jesus: Is this supposed to be touching?
medibot: Well, Sonic's dead, but to many of us he's been that way for a while. - The Iblis fight defies the laws Sonic '06 set for itself.Kung-Fu Jesus: Medibot... for a game so interested in hardcore difficulty... why is it giving me information that I can see with my face?
Medibot: Um... in case you're blind. - Kung-Fu Jesus, in three words, breaks down what may possibly be the dumbest thing that Shadow the Hedgehog has ever said.Shadow: The instability of time caused this time-space rift.
pokecapn: (starts laughing)
KFJ: (deadpan) Oh. That's all?
pokecapn: (loses it)- When Elise's seal is broken after Sonic dies, there's this hilariously hammy take on it:
Elise: No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Iblis is released, Mephiles laughs evilly)pokecapn: VOOOOOLDEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!KFJ: (matter-of-factly, as the others crack up) She was a fuckin' Horcrux. We all knew it!- Which is then immediately followed by them wondering why, if Mephiles simply needed Elise to cry to release Iblis, he couldn't just make it a lot easier on himself by cutting up onions around her instead.
- A few minutes after, there's their reaction to Eggman's Scouter Glasses.
- This little gem:Kung-Fu Jesus: Get hit by a box.
(Shadow gets hit by a box) - Upon beating End of the World, after Kung-Fu Jesus spends the level reciting song lyrics in monotone:
- As the LP nears the end, the fact that only medibot has gotten a full eight hours sleep at all this whole time starts to catch up with them, and the LP starts to mesh into one long CMoF as they get progressively less coherent.
- PICKLE SURPRISE!!!
- Sonic Von Hedgehog!
- If it exists, it is an Iblis Trigger. No exceptions.
- Their attempts to identify whose fault the game was during the credits.
- A scripted sequence launches Shadow a bit too high their first time through, which provided such a big reaction that the video is titled "That was scripted."
- One of the contests has viewers coming up with explanations for how Eggman could outrun Sonic before the final boss fight in Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Explanations ranged from Eggman possessing speed bladders with excess fast to being shaped like an ostrich (because ostriches run fast as fuck) to just finally being face-to-face with Sonic for the first time with no death machines between them and running on pure adrenaline.
- pokecapn's commentary during a scene in part 7, featuring the newly-redesigned Dr. Eggman.pokecapn: His mouth! Jesus!
Kung-Fu Jesus: Yes?
pokecapn: I-it's bad. Make it go away.
(...)
Eggman: Now, allow me to introduce to you my latest creation.
pokecapn: Teeth! - Thanks to pokecapn getting an X-Play reviewer's name wrongnote , the crew go off on a brief Adam Sandler tangent. They eventually let pokecapn finish what he was originally going to say – and then they start on the Adam Sandler tangent again, with impersonations."Moshi moshi!"
- "We're not going to post this, are we?"
- "No."
- "Oh. Good."
- During the Egg Wyvern boss fight:(Eggman charges Sonic)Pokecapn: GET A LOAD OF THIS!(gets hit)Pokecapn: ...I got a load.
Sonic Unleashed
- At one point, pokecapn had this brilliant idea to use a table to reach over a ledge in one of the level hubs. And then Sonic spin attacks it. The group's reaction to it was priceless.
- medibot claiming that, like Kirby Super Star and the Great Cave Offensive's treasures, every single collectable actually has its own specific identity. They then went on to, during the course of the LP, name all 288 of them, individually. (This may also qualify as a Moment of Awesome for medibot.)
- Also, the goons missed out on several collectables over the course of the game. One can only wonder what else medibot would have come up with if they had managed to collect everything.
- Kung-Fu Jesus starts poking fun at the "successful quicktime sequence" noise:*game makes a "ding-dong" sound*
Kung-Fu Jesus: Someone's at the door! Medibot, get my door.
Medibot: Yes'm.
*door opening sound; MyNameIsKaz enters the room*
Kung-Fu Jesus: Someone was actually at the door!
pokecapn: There was actually someone at the door!!- Note that KFJ does not actually have a doorbell, making this an instance of pure comedic timing. Them trying to explain what just happened is also hilarious.medibot: Fuck the fourth wall, let's break the fifth and sixth while we're at it!
- Note that KFJ does not actually have a doorbell, making this an instance of pure comedic timing. Them trying to explain what just happened is also hilarious.
- As is customary, the immediate defiance of advice regarding hazardous terrain."Be careful not to fall, huh?"*Sonic slowly edges towards the balancing beam and immediately sinks into the water like a rock.*"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH"*Everyone present starts laughing*
- When a gang of Mooks pursues Sonic relentlessly in the Mazuri hub and the goons are wondering why pokecapn doesn't just kill them:pokecapn: Well, like, I hit them and it doesn't really do much... 'cause they don't die.*The mook he just punched dies*Kung-Fu Jesus: Really.pokecapn: Until they die.
- "You punched the cutscene into him!"
- Kaz goes on to voiceact Professor Pickle in all of his appearances. Not only is his impersonation spot on (including skipped text), he later voiceacts all identified items in the subsequent Sonic and the Black Knight LP (even while cooking them dinner), leading the others to question if he has a compulsive disorder.
- When their hunt for moon medals leads them into a terrible stage:pokecapn: No, we're not doing this.Kaz: But it has 2 moon medaaaaaaa... ehhhhhhhh...
- pokecapn begins Windmill Isle Act 3 Day... and proceeds to grind right into oblivion.medibot: [after rambling on about a collectible] ...You're dead.[everyone laughs]pokecapn: So it begins!
- Good morning, Kaz.pokecapn: Hope we didn't disturb you too much earlier.Kaz: I woke up in a murderous funk.
- pokecapn and crew find a Jessica Simpson album in Skyscraper Scamper!Kung-Fu Jesus: Ugh, put it back.
- The goons begin to wonder what it would be like if the Werehog was voiced by Macho Man Randy Savage. The results are hysterical.
- "The Power of Thinking" may be the best episode of the LP, where after spending hours slogging through Werehog levels to collect medals, they get to enjoy one of the most insane of the Sonic levels.
- "You fail. DIE!" Followed by more of pokecapn's screaming.
- "POWER!! UNLIMITED POWER!!"
- This leads to a Hilarious in Hindsight moment in Sonic Generations. For his S-rank replay of Seaside Hill Act 2, the game's designated level for running over water, pokecapn equips the ability that gives him unlimited (boost) power.
- "Only pro thinkers can think this fast!"
- "PRO THINKERS ONLY!! AAUUUUGH!!"
- "Please. Professor Pickle is totally going to team up with Doctor Eggman, and they'll form Team Pickled Egg."
- "Press X 60 times!!!!! WHAT THE FAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHK!!!1!"
- This moment:(Sonic runs into a pillar, coming to a halt)Kung-Fu Jesus: In fact, I've willfully forgotten such a thing.
- Eggmanland's opening cutscene has Eggman's PA shout: "Sonic! If you have any complaints, please report them to me in person. If you can, that is!" Throughout the level, the posse actually draft a letter of complaint.
- A massive epic failure of the camera.
- Sonic grunts and then falls off a platform for no reason.
- While pokecapn wanders around in the hub level looking for the next stage:Kung-Fu Jesus: Definitely go down there.medibot: There's nothing down there.pokecapn: No, we've been there.Kung-Fu Jesus: No, go down there.pokecapn: No.Kung-Fu Jesus: Yes.pokecapn: No.medibot: No, don't do it.pokecapn: (jumps down there)Kung-Fu Jesus: Yes, I tricked you. (Evil Laugh) You're such a penis.
- Tempting Fate:IlluminatusVespucci: I don't think it's possible for these levels to not go fast.pokecapn: Actually, that is very not true, because I can do this.
- "I think when you get hit you die, but not in the way they want you to."
- The collective reaction to the hyperdetailed sandwich.
- In part 28, the gang come across a monster that reminds them of the Elementals from Sonic '06. They have a discussion on the differences between the two beasts — which culminates in a spot-on jab at Sonic Team's business practices during the making of '06.
- In part 41, during the cutscene before the Egg Dragoon fight, when the Tornado is knocked flying, IllVes sneaks a clever reference in under the din: "Tails's plane spun and...."
Sonic and the Black Knight
- The first ten seconds of the LP are already pure comedy gold, as KFJ and company start shouting along to the splash screen music: WOAOOOAAAAAAOAOAAAAH!!NoTimeForSocks: There's something wrong with you guys, seriously...
- "You haven't seen the last of the gay pride movement!"
- Their reaction to the Lady of the Lake (Starts at 7:47). Sonic's onscreen actions only accentuate it.medibot: Mother of shit!
- Just before the final boss battle in Black Knight:Gawain: You fool! This no longer has anything to do with chivalry!
Kung-Fu Jesus: I decide when chivalry applies, and now is not the time!
Sonic: It was never about chivalry for me...
Kung-Fu Jesus: It was all about being summoned here for some reason, and now you're letting me the fuck back, or I swear I will take this broken sword, and shove it so far up your ass—
pokecapn: SHUT UP. - And then there's medibot going off on a tangent about Octorok Krispy Kremes... really, there's a crowning moment of funny just about every time medibot opens their mouth.
Sonic Colors
- Part Crowning Moment of Funny, part Crowning Moment of Awesome, accidentally finding out that they can combine different types of Wisps.
- Throughout the Level Ate world, medibot drools over the food. "Pancakes... golden pancakes..." Also cake strata and "Candy rocket!"
- Sonic muses aloud about where an alien in need of rescuing might be. Medibot's response?medibot: JAIL.
- The whole debate about the self-repairing cake.medibot: Remind me why we don't like Eggman when he can build self-repairing cakes?
- Hedgehog pupae.
- "Larva, pupa, hedgehog."
- "It's a pupa, it has no hands or wrists or boots... slots. Boot slots. Feet."
- Their discussion of an Awesomeness Detection System, and saying that Sonic would need a freeform Attitude Detection System instead. "Yeah, we need a button for attitude."
- Also, lasers don't do that.
- Trying to see if they can suck and blow at the same time. Really.
- "Dr. Eggman isn't really a people, he's more of a collective..."
- Pokecapn remarks that a level seems pretty easy so far. Guess what happens a couple seconds later...
- The entire first half of the Nega Wisp Armor fight. Especially when they find out it can combine Wisp abilities.Announcer: Cube! Laser![A specific array of cubes come crashing down, followed by a laser reflecting off of them]IlluminatusVespucci: ...Did he just say las—pokecapn: OAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!IlluminatusVespucci: Yeah, he said "laser".medibot: Cube laser!Kung-Fu Jesus: Oh my God! Didn't see that coming, did ya, bitch?
- From the same part: "FEAST ON HIS BONES!", "Kiss him!".
pokecapn: NO! We already had that game! - Before the Sweet Mountain boss:Sonic: Experience has taught me to investigate anything that glows.MyNameIsKaz: Sonic spends many hours of the day staring at the sun.
- The balls touched.
- For several seconds, in the credits, KFJ and medibot sing part of the theme of Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, prompting pokecapn to tell them they've dated the LP in doing so.
Sonic the Hedgehog 4
- During the game's special stages, KFJ tries to figure out what all the developers were smoking to make the kaleidoscope-style backgrounds, based on their color (i.e. red pepper flakes, salt, oregano...), culminating with this discussion:Kung-Fu Jesus: The color lavender?pokecapn: Lavender is a plant.Kung-Fu Jesus: (laughs) ...you’re joking, right?
Mario Party
- A game of Paddle Battle quickly devolves down to Kung-Fu Jesus grunting. REALLY LOUDLY.
- "HAHAHA!.....HAHA!!.... YEEAAAA!!!.... RRUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!... URRGHHH!!!... YEAH!!!"
- The Running Gag of medibot being good at minigames involving plants because they are a botanist.
- This dialogue:medibot (playing as Luigi): I have extraordinarily long legs, I was bitten by a radioactive leg.Kung-Fu Jesus: You're not allowed to say that! Radioactive leg! Radioactive leg!!pokecapn: (through laughter) They don't have teeth!medibot: You shut your whore mouth!
- Made even funnier in Mario Party 3 when Luigi metamorphoses into an even leggier version of himself. Waluigi.
- Game: "Bowser Ran!" Medibot: "That's right, you better run!"
- Kaz is the prettiest magical princess.
- You mean MASTER OF DEVILS.
- At one point in Mario Party 2, everyone starts vocalizing their characters' taunts instead of simply using them. Except KFJ, who despite a game effort simply cannot do the Yoshi "zip-zip" with his mouth. It becomes funnier when Yoshi switches to his Yoshi's Story voice in later installments... and Kaz can do the voice better than KFJ ever could.
- "Honestly, rolling low is like the worst, because you can get a bonus star if you move around a lot." Cue KFJ rolling a 1 and scoring a star through a hidden block.
- Mario Party 3 has a match of Slap Down that medibot wins handily.
- Their first house rule of choice is "Wario Party", in which no one gets to see the instructions before each mini-game. This can lead to hilarity. For an excellent example of why, observe this game of Hide and Go BOOM! from Mario Party 4.Kaz: Ha, you're finished! I picked X!
- This moment at the start of MP 4:Kung-Fu Jesus: If you complain about our handicaps... I'll find you.medibot: He's not kidding, I'm not the first medibot.
- Kung-Fu Jesus (as Yoshi) builds up a star lead in 4 before being forced to play a pachinko Chance Time and giving away several stars to pokecapn. While the hosts wave at him happily.Kung-Fu Jesus: "Thanks for getting owned, Luigi!"medibot: They didn't even get your name right.
- Mario Party 4: "You wanted a game with some semblance of fairness to it? Too bad, Waluigi Time!"
- The entire running gag of Kaz's increasing frustration at how everyone wins the roulette wheel except him. He eventually gets his moment.
- Mario Party 4, during the Avalanche! minigame. Pokecapn has built up a substantial lead, KFJ and Kaz have just been swept up by the avalanche and medibot looks not to far behind. Pokecapn then takes this opportunity to gloat:pokecapn: Eat shit, suck-havers!
(Immediately hits a rock, slowing him enough for medibot to pass him and causing him to get swept up by the avalanche)
pokecapn: Oh, God, no! No! NOO!!
Kung-Fu Jesus: You just got suck-have'd. - Booksquirm from Mario Party 4.pokecapn: Harry Potter and the Get Fucked!
- Kung-Fu Jesus passes Boo and chooses to steal coins from pokecapn. "22? You kidding me?" Seconds later, he's revealed to be exactly right. This leads to an argument about his imperfect precognition that devolves into whining, while Kaz is overwhelmed by the power of devils.
- "A true Rasta-man does not gamble!"
- In Mario Party 5, Kaz gets chased by a herd of stampeding thwomps at the end of the Squared Away mini-game.
- Don't forget the penguins pushing pokecapn off the edge!
- Mario Party 5, turn 31. They play Submarathon, and it takes them a full minute to figure out how to move.
- This little gem from KFJ after losing Big Top Drop:Kung-Fu Jesus: If no one wins, I don't win.
- In Mario Party 5, medibot, as Waluigi, has been holding a Bone capsule at some point. KFJ, as Yoshi, lands on a Chain Chomp space and chooses Waluigi as the target, not knowing what the bone would do to Chain Chomps, despite pokecapn having explained it earlier and pleading with him not to choose Waluigi as his target. The result is the Chain Chomp gets lured away from Waluigi by the bone, causing pokecapn to cry out in Angrish, all while berating KFJ for being so stupid. Of course, KFJ's blood alcohol content at the time may have had something to do with it.
- Even more hilarious, briefly beforehand, KFJ, sick of the Wiggler Space, declares his anger at it, and erases it. This prompts Pokecapn's voice to become strained and tearful as he berates KFJ:
Pokecapn: Do you realise what you've done?Kung-Fu Jesus: I have eliminated a source of income.Pokecapn: You've broken the Contract! - Mario Party 5, turns 41-45: Kaz dueling medibot for 1 coin.
- Even funnier is right after, when the goons try to pronounce "un coin" in French. It ends with something sounding like a pissed-off duck.
- Bilingual Bonus when you realize 'coin' is French for 'quack'.
Kung-Fu Jesus: Indeed.- Same video: KFJ doing the same thing with pokecapn.
- Turns 46-50: It happens again.
- Even funnier is right after, when the goons try to pronounce "un coin" in French. It ends with something sounding like a pissed-off duck.
- "Woodpecker butthole."
- pokecapn plays a Duel Minigame against a now-silent medibot that's called "Piece Out". To pokecapn's horror it turns out to be a puzzle minigame. medibot thrashes pokecapn, who struggles to find the goal of the minigame. The minigame is about to end in a flawless victory for medibot, prompting pokecapn to start panicking.pokecapn: I...I don't understand! I don't know how this game works! SEND HELP!
- At the end of turn 10 in Mario Party 6, they play the dreaded Fruit Talktail, which medibot rightly fears when it's selected. One word:MyNameIsKaz: Grapes.
- The microphone itself has learned to fear that word. See Mario Party 7. "Did you say Grapes?"
- The first instance of medibot's "You're Lousy!" taunt in 6.medibot: I didn't know it would do that!
- Its usage near the end of Mario Party 6, which 'defeats' Kung-Fu Jesus:
medibot: I need bigger numbers to come out of my number box.Kung-Fu Jesus: You need to shut the hell up.Waluigi: You're lousy!Kung-Fu Jesus: Ohhhhh, I've just been owned! - Early in Mario Party 6, they have a lackluster game of Burnstile. It shows up again as the final minigame, and this time the teams are more fair.
- During Mario Party 6, Kaz bakes some cookies for the posse to eat. But then they notice that Kung-Fu Jesus has not eaten one yet.Kaz: How are the cookies?pokecapn: (muffled) They're fantastic.Kaz: They are also filled with the power of devils. (Evil Laugh)pokecapn: (to KFJ) Eat a cookie! What's wrong with you?KFJ: I'm full. Of beer.medibot: (muffled) I'M FULL OF THE DEVIL!
- Something happens to the recording in Mario Party 7. KFJ and pokecapn decide to investigate.
- In Mario Party 7, Kung Fu Jesus tries to confuse the mic.
- OOOOOOH, ELMO HAS THE POWER OF DEVILS!pokecapn: What is the sound of 3000 mice clicking "unsubscribe"?
- "WELCOME TO HELL." "Oh I've been there. It's sunny. You wouldn't think so being-" "THE SUN...THE SUN is because we recently re-adjusted the blinds. On the windows TO HELL!"
- In Mario Party 7:MyNameIsKaz MOTHERFUCKING EAT IT, DONKEY SCHLONG!
- pokecapn's frustrated non-sequiturs during the Picture This minigame, including "PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA", "Charles, get out of my head!" and the usual "Get some get some get some get some."
- "Skating-board is for cool kids only!" is made especially funny due to it being a Call-Back from long ago.
- "The bombs touched."
- In Mario Party 8, everyone's reactions to the candy powerups. And medibot finally starts saying "Delicious."
- When starting Mario Party 9, pokecapn goes to the handicap menu to "carry over" their totals from Sonic Shuffle, but his method of deciding handicaps leaves everyone with zero Mini-Stars anyway.
- To clarify: pokecapn gets zero Mini-Stars for being Knuckles, medibot gets zero for getting last place (which they didn't), Kaz gets zero for winning, and Kung-Fu Jesus gets zero for entirely forgetting Sonic Shuffle.
- Mecha Choice. "WE DIE, WE DIE TOGETHER!" Which leads to both of them getting first place and realizing that's a viable strategy when down to two players in that game.
- The Reverse Minigamenote . Cue everyone getting into position to get squished by a Thwomp, except for medibot, since they don't trust Bowser.
- pokecapn's repeated utterances of "Boner!" in Mario's voice.
- "Why am I wearing an adult diaper?"
- KFJ slipping into a Plinkett impression towards the end of Mario Party 9.
Sonic Shuffle
- It's like something out of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog.Kung-Fu Jesus: Oh my God, we foiled Eggman's stupid plot!
- ACCIDENT!
- WHY DOES THIS GAME EXIST!
- "I'm Amy!" "No, you're not!"
- A mini Humiliation Conga for Kaz: The wing that he's on blows up out of nowhere, causing him to lose 30 Rings. Then KFJ uses a Medium to call all players to the space he's on, preventing Kaz from using the hammer space that was right in front of him. While this is happening, pokecapn is flipping out over the random explosion and KFJ is talking in a hilarious voice. It's a lot funnier than it sounds.
- When MyNameIsKaz gets the most emblems as part of a bonus, pokecapn lapses into Buffy Speak regarding one of the bonus conditions.MyNameIsKaz: I won the most duels...pokecapn: Piece of shit! You won just because of that stupid-ass fuck thingy?!KFJ: Yep, he just won because of that stupid ass-fuck thingy.
Stupid Games Done For Money
- The Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) 2D segment, which somehow practically recreates the original's flaws. This includes the battle with Silver, to their horror.medibot: Now we're playing Sonic Two Thousand Numbers!
- A lot of the funny comes from the other guys having to explain to Kaz that yes, Sonic really did have to balance on a big plastic/metal ball in the original game, and yes, the boss fights were exactly that goofy and stupid.
- "Which half of a dick is the second half?"
- Kaz going on a tirade during the Egg Wyvern battle in his Prof. Pickle voice. One guy proceeded to ask if he can read Harry Potter in the voice.
- Not just a tirade, a tirade of the Surreal Comedy Stylings of Twitter spambot Horse_eBooks. The Prof. Pickle voice gradually segues into the Dracula Voice over time.
- And then he used the same voice to recite lyrics from "Hollaback Girl".
- "Cats are about as smart as babies, right?"
- The posse have a Kraft Cheesy Skillet meal. Medibot responds appropriately."Liquid GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD"!
- "So it's still cheese; it just got stopped partway through." "So it's a cheese abortion."
- Medibot's reaction to not being able to eat the food in The Sunset Rubdown.
- Also, medibot + WarioWare + dance boss. And everything after that as well, as the games speed up.
- Calling the people monitoring the chats "zookeepers".
- The horse alarm story.
- From God Hand: The posse critique academia and take the opportunity to sing along.
- Kaz's "Speed Run" of Super Metroid, in which Samus creates a new dance sensation, the others snark about Metroid: Other M, and Kaz faces danger under pressure.Kung-Fu Jesus: Now you have to precision wall jump.MyNameIsKaz: (hyperventilating) Uhhhh, too scaryyyy...Kung-Fu Jesus: I give you one, maybe two chances to fuck up.pokecapn: What happens if you do?MyNameIsKaz: I die I die I die I die I die... (brave leap! ...onto false spikes and the escape tunnel) I chicken out!
- "Sonic the Floathog": Kaz's existential horror about the whole matter ("Is this what it's like to planeswalk?" "It's actually much worse."), Pokecapn's nonchalant declaration that "I'm near the whatsit teleporters. The ones that go zip." And, of course, discovering Knuckles' secret power.Kaz: [right after Hydrocity Zone Act 2] ...what did you put in the noodles?Kung-Fu Jesus: What do you know, we have a donation. $5 from David, who says 'Sonic the Hedgehog causes existential despair.'pokecapn: Three hundred dollars for 'OH GOD, STOP PLAYING.'
Sonic Generations
- "Why is there a cutscene?" *Sonic shrugs* "And Sonic doesn't know either!"
- Chekhov's Chili Dog:MyNameIsKaz: "C'mon cutscene, don't go all Chekhov's chili dog on us."pokecapn: "So, at the end of the game he'll pop back out into his own world and then catch the chili dog!"
- Fifteen episodes later...pokecapn: Who called it?MyNameIsKaz: Mother of shit.
- Fifteen episodes later...
- Speeding through both acts of Green Hill Zone, and getting an S Rank in both...pokecapn: ...I MAY have played a demo or two...
- ...Only to get their first death seconds into Chemical Plant Zone Act 2.
- The return of the horse alarm story.MyNameIsKaz: [medibot and I] were gonna go be wizards togethernote , but it was late at night, so we both slept. [They] woke me up with a horse.medibot: I woke everyone up with a horse.
- "You're like a squirrel, you have to leap to your death just because you saw something..."
- It's not an official LP episode, but... THIS happened in Speed Highway. The video name is even a nice callback to the American Sonic 3 manual.
- And another deadly speed trap in Seaside Hill.
- At the beginning of this video, pokecapn constantly boosting to make it look like Sonic is skidding his way to Speed Highway, along with their chanting "WhoooAAAooooAAAAH!" It has to be seen to be truly appreciated.
- In Modern Speed Highway:MyNameIsKaz: ...you haven't been to a gym in a while, have you?medibot: I have one of those in MY office!
- In Classic Speed Highway, seeing a sign in the background which says "Chao Gelato: DELICIOUS!" which happens to be one of medibot's catch phrases.
- Similarly, in Modern City Escape, they encounter a sign that reads "Charmy Bee's Sweet Honey Butter."
- Their reactions to the GUN Truck in both versions of City Escape, but especially Classic.medibot: This is the angriest truck in the world!
- "What did you do to piss off Optimus Prime so bad?!"
- When the truck sprouts sawblades: "He fused with the gym from before!"
- pokecapn once again Screams Like a Little Girl as the GUN Truck pummels his feet in Classic City Escape.
- Also, Kaz's comment on his coffee while City Escape was loading. I don't know, I guess it's how the line was delivered.
- pokecapn's multiple Epic Fails in Seaside Hill, especially him falling into the SAME spike trap THREE TIMES in Act 1.pokecapn: Ah, fuck it, let's just go. *starts boosting through water, runs out halfway through* OH! OUT OF BOOST! *dies*
- Pokecapn's multiple Big "No!"s when faced with the giant wheels at the end of Act 1, especially the one that follows Sonic around the loop.
- Their reaction to Espio's appearance:pokecapn: Let's see how they mangled his voice actor.Espio: Thank you, my friend. Beware, for I have looked into the soul of our enemy and I saw only darkness.pokecapn: ...they've made it FANTASTIC is what they've DONE!
- YMMV on this, but when they were about to drown in act 1... They said "IT'S NO USE!" And they haven't even gotten to Crisis City yet, let alone Silver...
- On the subject of Crisis City, the 10th episode in the LP ends with them having unlocked the final set of levels, each one from a game they've previously LP'd. There is absolute silence as they're shown. You can practically feel the Oh, Crap! at seeing Crisis City.
- In Crisis City Classic there's pokecapn's reaction to the fire tornado dragging the goal post away.pokecapn: SHIT! NO! COME BACK!
- And his lampshading of the obvious subtext of Blaze's speech:Blaze: Sonic, I hope we can keep this slip up of mine just between the two of us, all right?pokecapn: "This slip up of mine". Also known as "the entirety of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)".
- Even funnier is how Kaz seems fascinated with the level, seeing as how he wasn't there to experience all the pain associated with it.
- And his lampshading of the obvious subtext of Blaze's speech:
- In Planet Wisp act 1, they get caught in the 2 springs facing each other. After easily getting out they just go back in there.
- Their reactions to seeing Sonic snowboarding up a tower, getting hit and awkwardly falling back down to his death.
- From the same video—the boss fight with Silver yields quite the Catharsis Factor...
- The fight with the Egg Dragoon... set to Sonic Boom. It matches up perfectly with the cutscene, and they even point this out.
- Not to mention the title of the video the boss battle was in: A mondegreen turned Eggman's "Time for a change of pace!" into "Primed To Arrange Your Face."
- The ending cutscene has this gem.Sonic: Hey Sonic! Enjoy your future! It's gonna be great!
- Some of the music choices they make during the their skill runs can be quite hilarious, such as "A New Venture" during a mission with Espio. They lampshade how it fits the level itself, but at the same time doesn't fit the mission.
- Here, all are pokecapn.
- In one of the missions from Crisis City, the goons start discussing about how an Iblis Biter was awaiting Sonic behind a pillar of fire. They then liken the pillar of fire to a chocolate fountain. The discussion only gets funnier from there.
- pokecapn: No.medibot: What are you, Crisis City Classic? Moving the goalpost?pokecapn: Yeah, if you want to move the goalpost, that was in the last video.
- From the last video:So, like, that's basically what I do every day when I come into work is I open-palm-slam my new VHS into my tape player and then listen to Knight of the Wind for two hours. I do all the moves alongside my hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. I do every move and I do it hard.
- A Call-Back to the Sonic And The Black Knight LP that lapses into an invocation of Book Ends before going off on even funnier tangents
- Pokecapn demonstrates how to exploit a good bad bugs.
The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures
- In episode 1, the guys go into the settings... and Kaz sees that there is a "Handicap" option.
- A hilarious moment of Epic Fail occurs when they defeat a large flock of Keese and then watch as their bounty of Force Gems drops into the abyss, none of them having realized there was a switch on the other side of the chasm they were supposed to have hit with arrows first in order to create a bridge on which the Force Gems would have landed.
- A wonderful moment of (unintentional?) dickery on the part of KFJ.
- At one point in 2-1, the path branches into three, so the posse splits up. Pokecapn chooses the correct one, which also appears to hold three large green Force Gems, and congratulates himself... only for the supposed Force Gems to reveal themselves as enemies, causing him to turn tail and run while the others arrive and fight them off.pokecapn: Bazinga! [the "Force Gems" attack] Oh no, oh fuck, oh God!Kung Fu Jesus: Those are triangle men!
- pokecapn, at the result screen of World 2-1 after being accused of being a screen-looker: "I am good at numbers, and watching things go up and down."
- In 2-2, while hunting for the final step in the trading quest, medibot and Kung-Fu Jesus pick up Cucoos then start chasing each other while My Name Is Kaz digs beatboxes. Take that, Johannes Kepler.
- Followed by their reactions when they realize that the final step was a magically summoned house.
- pokecapn upon discovering shortly after that you cannot, in fact, use cuccos to fly.
pokecapn: This game is garbage ass shit for poop-fuckers! - pokecapn's response to Wizzrobes that steal Force Gems.pokecapn: Bad rats! Bad Wizzrobes! Bad OH MY GOD NO!medibot: He's casting a powerful spell!
- On the Mountain Path, while Kaz helps pokecapn get a Hammer, Kung-Fu Jesus and medibot decide to put out a fire on the mountain. Kung-Fu Jesus heads to a cave to get some water, while medibot tries to use a bomb, with predictable results.
- In the Tower of Flames, medibot (accidentally) takes two Heart Containers for himself, so Kung Fu Jesus throws them into a nearby lava pit.Kung Fu Jesus: Punishment hole.
medibot: Really?
Kung Fu Jesus: Yes.
medibot: That's how it is?
Kung Fu Jesus: Yes! And you only lost a half a heart, so you get the punishment hole again.- Then, not two minutes later, KFJ gets slaughtered by, as a YouTube comment puts it, Punishment Tiles. Even he admits it's probably karma.
- Volley, By Golly is just amazing.
- The entirety of the 5-3 boss battle against Phantom Ganon. Between their attempts to volley their respective energy balls back at him, their shock at the last one switching things up, the signal dropping in the middle of the fight for a while (leaving you to speculate what's going on), finding out they have to go through the entire ordeal three times, breaking down and trying to kill each other and steal force gems mid-boss fight, to medibot constantly trying to maintain their 666 gem count, it's just a constant stream of hilarity.medibot: Everything you read on TV Tropes is true.
- Wealth Redistribution Bombs.
- "Let me tell you about my Homestuck/Zelda theory..."
- Even funnier to Homestuck fans, since Homestuck's timeline is just as convoluted as Zelda's.
- Rupees for everyone!note MyNameIsKaz: I am allied with navel gazers.
- Shortly after, Kaz flips out at medibot for chasing after Force Gems again, much to the amusement of pokecapn.
- The Tower of Winds has two in consecutive rooms:
- First is pokecapn going after a Force Gem that's spawned on the bottom floor with manic determination, wooping and giggling the whole way.
MyNameIsKaz: What is wrong with you, you fiend?medibot: There was a thing.- The second has KFJ, who'd hated being picked up by the others right from the start, finally lose it and go on a button mashing rampage, coming only one press from quitting the level, all while pokecapn is still giggling manically.
KungFuJesus: GODDAMN IT!! DON'T PICK ME UP!!!- From the same video, pokecapn laughing gleefully when Kaz gets Thwomped.
- From the end of 8-2, "What's in the box!"
- Pokecapn, again, manages to steal a valuable Force Gem from Tingle... only for Kaz to steal it from him! He reacts as expected. Notably, it's the only time he's actually upset about something being stolen from him.
- One of the comments on the youtube page for world 3-1 asks why pokecapn is consistently getting Hero of Darkness votes even though he's providing useful advice. A comment that responds to it says that he's the one who made the posse LP Sonic 2006.