Funny / Phelous 2016 Episodes

Dinosaur Adventure

• Him pointing out the kid unfriendly dialogue with Tio's father and Robin's father.
  Robin's father: My God!
  Tio's father: What the hell?!
• Everything involving Oro, especially the "science will make us fly" scene:
  Oro: You're as stupid as you always were!
  Phelous: Yikes! If you're getting called stupid by this face, you better rethink your life.
  Oro: Science has made progress! One day, we'll all be able to fly!
  Phelous: That's not how science works!
  Phelous!Oro: (hovering through the air) I'm flyyyyyiiiiinnng! SCIIIIIIIEEEEEEENNNNNCE!
• Phelous!Ark is quite chuckle-worthy.
  Phelous!Ark: I sure hope I don't turn out to be evil with my evil face. That would be a twist.
  Phelous!Ark: Shame on me? Aw, now I feel bad for eating Tio's parents!
  Phelous!Ark: Ha ha ha ha ha. I probably should be trying to eat you but I'm too stupid. Ha ha ha.
• The reveal that Tio's parents apparently did not even bother to look for their son after he went missing, instantly presumed him dead, and just had another son named Tio II is so hilariously cruel that Phelous bursts into hysterical laughter.
  Phelous: Holy shit, their parents are horrible! I love it!
• SCENE-INTERRUPTING ANKYLOSAURUS!!!
• Phelous shows a short clip of the film in Italian, just so he can get the obligatory reference to "Yee" out of the way.
  Phelous: THERE. I REFERENCED THE YEE MEME. HAPPY NOW?!?!?!?!
• "And everything was perfect in Damn Hell Valley... until the ice age two days later."
  The Lion King: My God!

The Countryside Bears

• This is the video where Wabuu makes his debut, and Phelous already expresses his frustration when we see the raccoon for the very first time.
• Phelous almost gives up on the movie after the very first line of dialogue is "Hello, Wiener."
• The triumphant return of Scene-Interrupting Bear.
• At one point, the creepy stalker crow from Dinosaur Adventure makes an appearance in the background, causing this to happen:
  Phelous!Lion King: MY GOD! A SPY! (eats the crow)
• When the baby kangaroo is picked up by the wind:
  Phelous!Wabuu: Well, she's dead. Let's go!
  • "This, of course, is just one of those freak forest winds that can pick up a kangaroo but manages to not really disturb the trees. Weird, right? It's almost like Dingo doesn't actually animate their stock backgrounds or something."
  • Which is followed up with a cameo by Oro from Dinosaur Adventure:
    Phelous!Oro: I told you science was making progress to make us all fly! (flies past the kangaroo) SCIIIIIIIEEEEEEENNNNNCE!
• One of the bears complains how nobody will care if he gets wet, thus prompting....
  Old Man: I hope that bear does get wet in the future, because that will mean... that I was expected! *eats Grumpy* Ha! Fooled you guys on that one!
• This reaction to Mo's gibberish:
  Mo: If they jump they're bound to hungeen themselves!
  Phelous!Wabuu: "Hungeen themselves"? Have you been drinking? (cut to a scene from "Legend of Pocahontas" where Wabuu drinks beer) Give me some!
• Wabuu throwing the crow into the hole for following them around and laughing all the time.
• Wabuu's strange reaction to Mii greeting her mother after hopping out of the hole.
  Phelous!Wabuu: She's still alive?! Shit!
• Phelous' Jaw Drop after Wabuu is called a child murderer.
• Wabuu's story ending with Wuschel apparently dead, with the implication that Wabuu was banished from his previous home.
  Phelous!Wabuu: And that's the story of why I had to move away.

The Secret of the Hunchback

• When Quasimodo tries to explain himself to the priest:
  Phelous!Quasimodo: I wanna be, part of their wooooooorld!
  Phelous!Monk: Stop ripping off the wrong cartoon, ugly!
• After showing the scene with the doctor taking some kind of medicine, Phelous notes that Notre Dame's health care was the worst.
  • And shortly after that:
    Phelous: Highlights of Quasimodo's life! (beat) A pill-popping doctor.
• "Ah yes, just what the Hunchback of Notre Dame stories were always missing....a protection racket plot. But at least Notre Dame finally has a sheriff to bring order to this town of ugly babies."
• This:
  Quasimodo: Today's Fool's Day!
  Phelous: Yes, I get that feeling already.
• Phelous' various comments upon realizing the sheriff "Bearded Gaston" is supposed to be Frollo:
  Phelous: "Frollo really gets to have a lot of different jobs, doesn't he? Frollo was the archdeacon in the book, he was a judge in the Disney one, but now, the greatest Frollo of them all is the Sheriff of Notre Dame!"
  Bearded Le Fou: By order of Lord Frollo, high sheriff of the city of Paris...
  Phelous: Yes, keep saying it, it sounds dumber every time!
• The "Stupid Surprised Sheriff"
• The fake-out ending:
  Priest: We can only pray that someday they will see as you really are, Quasimodo.
  But they never did
  The End
• Frollo promises the bohemians an amnesty, and "maybe more":
  Phelous!Frollo: Maybe even seven minutes of heaven with Deputy Duck!
  Phelous!Bohemian: Uuuuh... I am not really into that... (Frollo throws a knife at him)
  Phelous!Frollo: No-one turns down Deputy Duck!
• "Hey, hey, HEY! I'm a muthafucking gargoyle, bitch!"
• And then...
  Gargoyle: What counts is on the inside-
  Phelous: Unless there's a hot-as-fuck girl with pink eyes! Then she's a good person for her loooooooooks!"
• Once Quasimodo's true face is revealed:
  Mah God King: My god! He's less creepy than before! RUUUN!
• When we're introduced to Pierre:
  Phelous: Ohhh! So this guy's Pierre. Oh, I hope his Esmeralda crush goes as well for him as it did in the book. Where she pity-married him, but loved someone else, so wouldn't let him touch her. So a typical marriage! *rimshot*
• When Pierre immediately figures out that the big, fat bohemian trying to pose as Esmeralda isn't her:
  "PIERRELOCK, THE GREATEST NOTRE DAME DETECTIVE!"
  • Later:
  Pierre: There is only one Esmeralda and that blimp on stage is not her.
  Phelous: Why? Because if she'd put all that weight on within a day she'd be DEAD!?
• Phelous' shock when, during the scene where Quasimodo is bound and whipped in the town square, Pierre rushes in, grabs Esmeralda's hand, tells Quasimodo he'll avenge him, then leaves Quasimodo there while leading Esmeralda away.
• “We will avenge you, my friend!”
• Playing The Pumaman theme over the scene where Quasimodo spontaneously grows wings and starts flying.

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (Golden Films Version)

• Throughout the review, comparing this version to the UAV version - and deciding this one is much worse. He makes a convincing case.
• After seeing the film's design of Frollo... oh, I mean Jean-Claude!
  Phelous: Oh wow... I feel bad for calling Frollo in The Secret of the Hunchback Gaston with facial hair now. This really is just Gaston with a curly mustache. Fucking bravo, Golden Guys!
• His laugh at this Quasimodo's Informed Deformity.
  "The best way to show that he has beauty on the inside is by giving him beauty on the outside!"
  "Oooh, he's so grotesque! He looks like he's ready to join a boy band!"
• His response to the bats laughing at their own lines.
  Phelous: What the fuck is this, The Big Bang Theory?!"
• When the bats are somehow able to communicate with Quasimodo during daytime from Notre-Dame when he is outside during night time leads to Phelous theorizing they are from another dimension.
• Phelous mocking the one time Jean-Claude speak without opening his mouth.
  Jean-Claude (not opening his mouth): Make way for Le Grande Fromage! Huh-huh!
  Phelous (also not opening his mouth): Hallo, Talking-Without-Opening-My-Mouth! Honh-honh-honh! Random French word! MERDE! Not funny! Honh-honh!
• Jean-Claude's horse whinnies out "Whew boy" and Phelous reacts accordingly:
  Phelous: That didn't just happen. Nope. Didn't happen.
• "Quasi-Frollo" saying "The party is over, fellas!" with his accent. Cue Phelous' reaction:
  Phelous: Di-did he just say my fucking name?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!
• "Doing anything against the law is illegal."
• "A violin is laughing at me. This is seriously my life. Fuck me."
• His theory on Quasimodo becoming handsome.
  Did Esmer-Melody use her magic on him or did he just brush his hair out of his eyes and stand up straight? Take your pick, it's insultingly stupid either way!
• His response to Melody and the Hunchback getting married at the end:
  Phelous: Victor Hugo always intended to have Esmerelda and Quasimodo marry at the end. He just didn't have the technology to write it back then.
• At the end of the video, Phelous says that this makes the Dingo version looks good, and then realizes that there is a Dingo version.

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (Dingo Pictures Version)

• Phelous' shock that of all the versions he has seen of the Hunchback of Notre-Dame, the Dingo version is the one where Frollo actually is an Archdeacon like he was in the book.
• Him being disturbed by Quasimodo's... unusual interest in bells.
  Phelous: ... Does this bell need an adult? Or a restraining order?
• When Pimp Colonel Sanders laughs while narrating how Quasimodo became deaf, Phelous expresses his disgust that he'd find it funny that the poor guy went deaf because he got too up close with the bells... before realizing that yes, it is kinda funny.
• When Pierre tells Esmeralda that she's full of secrets, she grows wings and flies away while The Pumaman theme plays.
• This response to the judge being able to understand what Esmeralda's goat is saying.
  Phelous!Wabuu: The judge is a warlock! He communicates with animals!
  Phelous!Townsfolk: (not realizing they're listening to a raccoon) Hang him!
  Phelous!Wabuu: Heh heh. Most of the people in this court are so stupid.
• "You is the pope of fools!"

Hellraiser: Hellworld

• Phelous points out how since these movies usually are just random horror movies that got the Hellraiser name slapped on them, you usually end up wondering what you are watching until Pinhead shows up to answer "Hellraisers; I love puzzles".
• "Christ's sake, that's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard."
• Phelous calling the main characters the Super Friends due to Henry Cavill and Khary Payton's presence among their ranks.
  • He also suggests that Christopher Jacot's character isn't getting along with the others due to being more of a Marvel guy.
• Phelous's favorite Cenobite..."The Other One"...?
  • "2/10"
  • Made even better by Pinhead going on rants about how lame Other One is.
  Pinhead: Do you even puzzle, Other One?

Beauty and the Beast Anime

• Phelous' shock upon learning the Beauty actually has a real name this time (Maria) instead of just "Beauty" or Beauty in another language.
  • Given that the main lead is named Maria, Sonic Adventure 2 jokes were pretty much a given.
• Every time Old Man suggests that Anime Dad/Beard-ria/Old Beard troll his daughters but the Anime Dad responds by following the advice to the extreme, making even Old Man disgusted.
  Old Man: (after the daughters asked for their gifts) They don't deserve it! Get them nothing!
  Anime Dad: On second thought, maybe my gift will be the back of my hand!
  Old Man: ...Too far, bro!
  
  Old Man: (when the father finds the red roses) Oohh! This is your chance to get Maria back! Get her a pink rose instead of the red one that she requested!
  Anime Dad: Oh, yes! And then I'll shove the rose so far up her ass it comes out her mouth and then burn the house down!
  Old Man: Eh... maybe I should just stop talking to you...
  
  Anime Dad: (offering a dildo to Maria) That's sure gonna make you wet, uh?
  Old Man: I'm not saying it! I refuse to have any part of this! You're the worst Beauty's father ever!
  Anime Dad: Maria!
  Old Man: Who cares?! (leaves)
• Phelous' Alternative Character Interpretation that Maria actually is trying to troll her dad and get him killed.
• Phelous questioning the veracity of birds as wedding witnesses.
  Dingo Judge: How wrong you are. This goat has verified everything. Their marriage is legal and binding.
  Phelous: Stupid Middle Ages!!!
• The reveal of Maria's "real" father.
  ''No! Not Senor Mustache! He's not nearly as popular as Old Man!"
• The Running Gag of Maria accidentally turning everything into dust.
• Maria's head pulsates like the nuns from Dingo Pictures when she's in her mourning clothes (which looks similar to what the nuns wear).
• The Stinger where Old Man meets Anime Dad's grave.

  Old Man: Hey, Beard Father, I win! Huyeee... **Gets dirt and cough**

Cinderella (Good Times)

• The fact that Phelous sports a shirt with "Old Man" saying "HHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
• His mocking of the opening theme:
  Theme song: Dream on, Cinderella...
  (Clip from Jacob's Ladder): Dream on.
  Phelous: (while dusting off his hands) There. I feel like I sufficiently ruined that little song.
  • Also in the title card of the film, the closed captions has him calling it "[Stupid song from this movie]".
• The Prince's resemblance to The Real Ghostbusters' Peter Venkman prompts a number of references to the cartoon.
  • On a Bad Date, the prince whines, "I hate that!", in the voice of Dave Coulier!Peter. This makes Cinderella giggle, until Lorenzo Music!Peter quips, "It wasn't that funny."
  • After Cinderella asks the Fairy Godmother how a pumpkin can help her go to the ball, cut to Cinderella standing on top of the pumpkin, which rolls her all the way to the castle. Once there, it lands on the prince's head. This apparently turns him into Samhain, who declares, "I am Halloween!" Phelous proceeds to call this, "the story of how Cinderella created Halloween."
• Whenever Phelous makes a mention of Cinderella's absentee and slow-witted father "Gentleman", his anger/annoyance with him increases, as well as him showcasing the man's stupidity even further with occasional shots of him looking Comically Crosseyed.
  Phelous!Father: Hey, Cinderhead. I seem remember you having a room and good clothing before I left on my trip. Oh, well. I guess not!
  Phelous!Cinderella: Dad, they've made my life miserable!
  Phelous!Father: I LOVE MAI WIIIFE!!
• Upon first meeting the Prince, Phelous points out how obnoxious he is, mocks the continuity of his father the King having hair or not and due to his resemblance to Mario, he inserts an audio clip of him saying Captain Lou Albano's infamous line, "And if you do drugs, you go to hell before you die. Please."
• When Phelous sarcastically remarks that no other woman probably shares Cinderella's shoe size, he shows the glass slipper fitting GoodTimes' Beauty. She reacts with another not-so-dramatic gasp.
  Prince: Oh... Uh, you're obviously not the girl I danced with so, uh, I don't know why I did this...
  Old Man: Nope! Too late! You gotta take her! Also, I get money out of this, right? (rides off with the money) Ha ha! See ya suckers!
• His Happy Ending Override:
  Phelous: Unfortunately, Cinderella's feet grew a little bit more in a couple of years and her feet would no longer fit in the glass slippers. And the prince was just no longer sure she was the one. They had a really messy divorce. He kept the shoes...and tried wearing them and then they broke and he got an infection and died.
• The duke announcing the prince's plan to find Cinderella.
  Duke: "Hear ye, hear ye, the prince requests that all single ladies..."
  Phelous!Duke: Yes, all the single ladies, all the single ladies.
• The Prince being announced as entering the ball with Cinderella, even though he already in attendance minutes earlier. Additionally, one of the partygoers' "reactions" is the Big "OMG!" from Troll 2. Phelous then questions if he's just randomly announced whenever he comes and goes.
  Phelous!Duke: Now leaving for the bathroom, The Prince!
  Phelous!Prince: (whiningly) Dammit, stop!
• This scene when declaring that he'll use Cinderella's lost shoe to find her:
  Phelous!Prince: Also, no more glass shoes; this stinks!
  "Mack" McCarthy: (appearing as a bubble) You stink! You stink! You stink!
• The Stinger involving Old Man and "Gentleman".

  Old Man: Look, I had this T-shirt **Shows the "Beauty can die in my place" shirt** made and even I think you're a terrible father, mister... what's your name?
  Gentleman: Err, I don't have one. They just call me Gentleman.
  Old Man: You don't have a real name!? What a loser!

The Little Mermaid (Good Times)

• Phelous initially calls Cassandra the Sea Witch, "Thin Ursula", then jokes that eight years later, Disney would rip off Golden Films, by making their own Thin Ursula the villain of The Little Mermaid II.
• Phelous declares "0 out of 10" for Lena's family's castle lacking a phallic tower.
• Prince Stefan looks so much like Prince Eric, that Phelous asks if the party on the boat is a "Prince Eric Look-Alike Party".
• Lena's father is simply named the Sea King.
  General Tentacle: General Tentacle reporting!
  Phelous!Sea King: Are you shitting me?! This octo-ass gets a name, but I'm just relegated to being called "The Sea King"?!?! I'm the damn king, and I don't get a NAME?!?!?!
  Phelous!Tentacle: Yeah, them's the breaks, little man.
• The almost nonchalant way Phelous!General Tentacle says "Sir, where are your nipples?"
• Phelous has an Off-Model Lena deliver the following lament:
  I have no mouth and I must die...of sadness.
  • Of course, GoodTimes' Beast tells Lena he can relate to her.
• Phelous' confusion on the unrealistic underwater physics, which reaches its breaking point after the movie shows Cassandra boiling a potion, then pouring it in a glass for Lena to drink.
  Phelous: I don't even know what water is anymore!
  (takes a sip of Crystal Pepsi)
  Phelous: Is that what water tastes like?!
• As Lena takes the potion.
  Phelous!Lena: Do you want my voice for any particular reason?
  Phelous!Cassandra: No, not really, in this one.
  Phelous!Lena: Ok, cool!
• "HE BETTER MARRY YOU!!!!!!"

Pocahontas (Dingo Pictures)

• Phelous instantly figures out that the charm will be fatal to Quickspear:
  Chief:...It will bring you luck.
  (cuts to a scene where Quickspear is shot to death)
  Phelous: Well I guess he didn't say what kind of luck...
  • Following that, he constantly refers to Quickspear as "Deadmeat".
• The SCENE INTERRUPTING BEAR shows up in the opening complaining when Pocahontas suggests going fishing without him (BEAR INTERRUPTING SALMON!)... and only a few scenes later what looks very much like the same bear is shown dead at a hunter's feet. Phelous starts laughing in what sounds like genuine shock.
  Phelous: A movie where humans can talk to animals becomes infinitely weirder when they also still hunt them. Like, do you think they just invited that bear over for lunch then said "Surprise! YOU'RE lunch!" and murdered him?! (ominously) Maybe that bear just complained about its salmon one too many times...
• A little while later, still sounding genuinely a bit freaked out, after some more mean-spirited hijinks:
  Phelous: OK! I think we've established now that this is all very messed up and everyone hates each other! MOVE ON, DINGO!... That is, if you actually have anything other than that...
• His reaction to the main antagonist being called "Crunchbone".
  Phelous!Wabuu: Captain Crunchbone's biscuits are the best for your dog's teeth. Heh heh heh.
• Phelous's horror at the talking bush.
  Phelous: Holy fuck, I saw the face of death. And it's a bush.
• Phelous interpreting the bush as a bloodthirsty abomination:
  Old Bush: If this should happen, there will be terrible bloodshed and your people will be destroyed.
  Phelous as Old Bush: I would love that. Bring me the blood when it falls. Bring me bloooood!
• "He's just horny. Bring me his blood."
• Phelous breaks into uncontrollable laughter when we see an amazingly terrible over-the-shoulder shot of Wabuu, which as he points out was never reused. A shot that Dingo Pictures never reused.
  "So yeah, behold, the shot deemed too bad even by Dingo's standards."
• During a scene where Pocahontas and Quickspear encounter John Smith and Finnigan (who is pointing a musket at the former two with his inexplicable third arm), Phelous edits the scene in which Finnigan shoots at the Pocahontas and Quickspear a few times and then cues fake credits.
• "The wind is your soul, and it tells raccoons to go on diets. This is the true story of Pocahontas."
• Pocahontas says that one day there will be peace between the peoples. Phelous!Pocahontas interrupts to throw the "Blood Bush" on board the departing ship, killing all the Europeans. Given the inevitable undoing of the Dingo Picture's ending, it can actually be argued that Phelous made the ending happier by including a bloodbath.
• "I AM THE WABUU!!!"
• "Truly Chief Mah God learnt a lesson today: Just threaten to kill people, it gets shit done faster."
• After John Smith gives a rather... disquieting reaction to learning what Pocahontas's name means:
  Phelous!Wabuu: What a creep. And look who's saying that.

When Halloween Was Forever

• After Phelous points out "John Smith" credited as singing the Real Ghostbusters theme song, he shows the John Smith portrayals from Disney's and Dingo's respective Pocahontas movies singing it.

Friend Request

• The movie opens on a very familiar college lesson, prompting this reaction from Phelous:
  Phelous: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SMILEY FLASHBACKS!
• The movie treats being friends with people on Facebook like being friends in real life. Phelous points out the absurdity of this by noticing this would requires Laura to somehow see, invite and spend time with her more than 200 friends.
• Phelous pointing out the absurdity of Marina being somehow considered unpopular and weird for her animations and dark imagery, when that sort of thing is everywhere on the Internet in real life:
  Phelous: Just go on DeviantArt, your little dilemma will be over in less than a minute!
• As the story goes on, the movie keeps piling up more and more elements to Marina's Dark and Troubled Past, including, among other, her growing up in an orphanage where she was constantly staring at a computer screen, being raped by other kids as a child, and her mother giving birth to her following a disturbing accident. Eventually, the cumulation of all these becomes so over-the-top it becomes impossible to take the character seriously, to the point Phelous flat-out tells the writers to just stop.

Miracle in Toyland

• Phelous joking that one of the soldiers in the opening dream sequence is dead... then finding out he really is dead.
• Jesse's dad negligence over his son being a Running Gag.
  Jesse: Hey I scored the winning goal at the soccer game today!
  Phelous!Dad: Looking at porn son, screw off!

  Dad: I've arrange for you to stay with your cousin Gabriela.
  Phelous!Dad: Just make sure there's no hanky-panky with you two.
  Phelous!Jesse: No promises dad!
  Phelous!Dad: You disgust me son! This why I avoid spending time with you!

• Any time Phelous makes jokes about how disturbingly close Jesse is with his cousin.
  Phelous: Their make-up sex will be great! I bet they'll use toys!
• The Running Gag sad Peanuts music getting played three times in a row!
• The ending, where Bat Hero and Steffi Love are brought to life.
• During a sappy sad song, Jesse goes to punch his pillow only to break his hand.
• Near the movie’s climax, Jesse throws another tantrum which is edited to be Tommy Wiseau’s famous one.
  Jesse: AH'M FED UP WITH DIS WUUUURLHD!

Noel

• "Old man tears are apparently a child lip magnet. Which is a very disgusting sentence I wish I hadn't just said."
• Brutus and Harold the Christmas trees being dragged off to their deaths, accompanied by wood chipper sounds.
• Phelous calling Noel an ethnocidal eldritch abomination at the end.
• This dialogue about the little girl and Noel's... love for each other.
  Phelous!Narrator: First, came a thing called "love", then came a thing called "marriage", then came a thing called... "too much happiness".
  A white blot then hits the screen, and Phelous groans in disgust at his own joke.

The Christmas Tree

• After seeing a familiar face on the back of the DVD case:
  Phelous: You have got to be shitting meeEEEE! (Covers mouth)
  • What's even more funny was the star plush falling down.
• In general portraying Old Mayor as an odd-ball combination between Old Man and Torgo.
  • And, of course, having Old Man being his cousin who constantly exploits his naivety and mooches cash off him, despite really hating his guts.
• Along the same lines, his portrayal of Judy's husband as a literal robot who is incapable of caring about his family.
  Ray: "Take good care of yourself and the children, Judy."
  Phelous!Ray: (in Machine Monotone) "Or don't. It shall not affect me either way."
• During one of the poker scenes, one of Mavilda's friends suspects another is cheating, so he pulls out a gun and shoots her.
  Phelous!Mavilda: There goes the children's innocence! (Evil Laugh)
• One of the girls (the one with the oddly inappropriate young adult voice) goes to warn Mrs. Kindle about Mavilda's plot to frame her, and winds up talking to an actual Amazon Kindle.
• After a child character speaks in a high-pitched chipmunk voice, Phelous's reaction:
  Phelous (with voice pitched up to sound like a chipmunk) What the garbage is this chipmunk crap? I know you only have like, three different kid voices, but this was not the way to go!
• Aladdin randomly quantum leaping into Mavilda.

---