Funny / Narbonic

• Basically every single strip, but this conversation stands out:
  Helen: Dave, we need to talk.
  Dave: Uh oh. Is this about the sentient meme that took over the net in Blue Sector and keeps threatening to vaporize us via spy satellite?
  Helen: No! This isn't about the sentient meme! I didn't even know there was a sentient meme!
  Dave: Oh...good.
  Helen: On second thought, let's make this about the sentient meme.
  Dave: It was supposed to be a Serenity personality quiz! I meant no harm!
• Or, when Dave's come unstuck in time:
  Six Year Old Dave: I can't handle being a kid! Anything but six years old...
  (time shift)
  High School Gym Coach: And we are going to stay here until each and every one of you maggots gives me fifty chin ups!
  Sixteen Year Old Dave: Let me rephrase that...
• Mell's only personality sprite:
  Killer Instinct: Kill...kill...kill...
• The first Sunday strip, "Evil Coffee" http://narbonic.com/comic/evil-coffee/, features Helen going off on a rant on the subject of the morality of coffee . The best part is the use of the phrase "Nietzchean Super Coffees", made all the better by the fact that it's misspelt.
• When Dave finds out he's been volunteered to test Helen's time machine:
  Dave: I'd complain more, but this is probably the closest to a vacation I'm going to get this year.
  Helen: I thought the Moon was your vacation.
• Helen and Madblood's first meeting, fighting over an ancient crystal:
  Madblood: Theftbot! The crystal!
  (Theftbot grabs at the crystal Helen's holding)
  Helen: A little lower, theftbot.
• Mel discovers Madblood has three whole floors devoted to weapons development:
  Mel: I'M THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WOOOOOORRLD!
• At one point, Mel tells Caliban that she has to go on a Black Ops mission that she can't talk about:
  Caliban: We'd better have sex tonight.
  Mel: Because I might die and we'll never see each other again?
  Caliban: You what? Sorry, I wasn't listening.
  Mel: You know, Caliban, sooner or later you have to get over the fact that you have a body.
  Caliban: I have. Now I can't get over the fact that you have one.
• After Artie's been temporarily given Dave's body (long story), he finally snaps at Mel's incessant chatter and shouts at her to shut up while shaking her like a rag-doll. This prompts the following exchange:
  Artie: Ye gods how I've longed to be able to do that!
  Mel: I'll be remembering this day's work when you're fun-size again, buddy.
• Helen decides to deal with her frustrations in having to dump/fire Dave by eating six pints of half-baked ice cream and blowing up Ecuador.
  Mel: I hate it when she comes up with nonviolent solutions behind my back.
  Artie: No kidding. That's my ice cream.
• Mel's half-week-long rendition of the Patton speech, to an army of killer robots. Especially Hilarious in Hindsight, since this seems to mark the point where Mel first gets interested in politics.
• Dave's drunken "I'll never have lesbian sex again!" line. Especially the expression on the poor girl sitting near him at the bar. Especially when it turns out that she's his Kid from the Future. Poor girl.
  Girl: Holy crud, I picked the wrong time to come in!
• Seth wishes that his date dumping him, kissing another man, and messily changing sex, all right in front of him was the worst date he'd ever been on. He really does.
• "Go away, maternal instinct! I'm busy!"
• In Andre Richard's guest strip, "Narbonic Babies", Artie is sent back in time to prevent some sort of "horrendous disaster", and ends up in Narbonic Babies Inc, a nefarious tax shelter daycare run by Dr. Narbon. The ending:
  Artie: I've worked for weeks, scuttling aside materials... The time machine is almost complete!
  Kid!Helen: Wait, Mr. Gerbil. We still need to have more fun.
  Kid!Dave: Sorry, Artie, but Helen said she'd give me a Chewie if I helped detain you.
  Baby!Mell: Goo!
  Artie: NOOOOO!
• After Helen purges herself of Dave's DNA, he has a little fun trolling her:
  Dave: (wearing Helen's glasses) Let's celebrate by drinking a whole box of pink wine and torturing some gerbils!
  Helen: Oh, very funny...
  Dave: And then we can do something hideously and arbitrarily cruel to our computer guy! Wee!
• Helen's reaction to Mel attempting to take over the world with Madblood's robot army:
  Helen: It's times like these I almost question my usual strategy of doing whatever dumb thing pops into my head.
  • Especially funny since, well, she's one of the smartest Mad Scientists alive and has been running a Xanatos Roulette on everyone from the beginning.
• Dave's second meeting with Caliban the Demon:
  Caliban: Let me see if I understand you. You're some bloke living twenty years from now, and you're unstuck in time due to an experiment at the lab where you work.
  Dave: Right.
  Caliban: And in your own time, you've met me because your boss killed you and you went to Hell.
  Dave: Right. So what's your analysis?
  Caliban: You have a crap job.
• Dave is chatting with Titus Misanthrope and offers some advice:
  Dave: You need a PDA. I set Helen up with one and she stopped forgetting which closets have the mops and which have the mop-shaped killer mutants.