Funny / Monster Hunter International

• "Animating the dead is a serious felony." (From Earl's primer on zombies in the fifth chapter of ''Monster Hunter International.")
• In Monster Hunter Legion, Owen meets with the owner of the Last Dragon hotel and casino, the Man Behind the Man who organised the international Monster Hunting convention, and discovers that he's a dragon. Aid is offered to MHI in dealing with the Eldritch Abomination, in exchange for Owen never talking about him, or there will be consequences. Owen prepares to be threatened with being eaten... and is instead presented with a Non Disclosure Agreement. And a warning that the organizer has many lawyers.
• To a gun nut, Earl's description of the gold-plated Desert Eagle in Monster Hunter Alpha is strangely hilarious.
• The guy that Owen mentions he beat up in book 1? It's Lococo.
  • When the meet, Owen offers an extremely inadequate (and unwelcome) apology:
  Lococo: "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!"
  Owen: "...Sorry."
• Also in Monster Hunter Legion, there's the Orc version of helicopter repair: it consists of throwing a live chicken into the tail rotor. The best part? It works.
• Pretty much everything involving the Gnomes.
• This exchange in Monster Hunter Alpha:
  Waiter: "People like you put guns on our streets."
  Earl: "And people like you put the fries on my plate, so hop to it!"
• Owen screwing with Franks:
  Owen: "Franks! You're looking good, man! Those new ears?"
• In Monster Hunter Alpha, Heather discovering the bright side of becoming a werewolf.
  Earl: "You know, there is all the murder."
  Heather: "I know. But all you can eat pie!"
• An exchange in Vendetta. An MCB agent is upset that they can't simply "invent probable cause, arrest a couple of the cultists, kneecap them, cut off a few thumbs," and get the info that way.
  Owen: "What department were you with before you became MCB?"
  Agent: "The Internal Revenue Service."
• Franks double-parking across Stark's (currently his boss) reserved space in front of MCB HQ, as well as the VIP space. When his partner points this out, he reverses, and angles the car to also take up the reserved-for-handicapped space, too.
• In Monster Hunter Nemesis, Franks hides out in his succubus ex-girlfriend's apartment for a day or so to heal. When he announces he's leaving, she's not happy:
  Succubus: "Do you want me to make you a sandwich?"
  Franks: "That would be nice. Make it to go."

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