Funny / Live Free or Die Hard

• In the shootout in Matt's apartment, a T-800 action figure activates a bomb secretly placed on Matt's computer, when the figure falls and presses the "Delete" button, "terminating" the other henchmen.
• Matt Farrell meets Lucy:
  Matt Farrell: Wow, I know that tone, it's just weird hearing it come from someone with... hair.
• "Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearwater Revival comes on the radio:
  Matt: This is like having a pine cone shoved in my ass.
  *John turns the music up louder*
  Matt: Really? That's mature!
• Gabriel's message, that was made by editing clips of Presidential speeches. It's quite awesome and creepy, but what's golden is how the henchmen react:
  Casper: That was creepy!
  Trey: I tried to find more Nixon.
• When John kills the Dark Action Girl and brags about it to Big Bad Gabriel:
  "Last I saw she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass."
  • "You have got to be running out of bad guys by now! Is there a line or something you call? 1-800-HENCHMEN? Oh I bet you're still on hold with 'Can-I-Get-Another-Dead-Asian-Hooker-Bitch'?"
  • The actual fight contains a few funny moments, with John looking in amusement when he sees he ripped out some of Mai's hair, then gives her a one-liner while wrapping her neck in elevator cables:
  John: That's not too tight, is it?!
• A Continuity Nod via yet another FBI Agent Johnson.
  John McClane: Johnson, again? ^note "Agent Johnson?" in the theatrical version
• "Just sit tight, asshole; I've got a check for you." (The unrated version turns this into "I got a very big fucking check")
• Gabriel's snarkery both times Lucy beats the shit out of his men.
  (Russo comes in with a newly kidnapped Lucy)
  Russo: This bitch is a handful!
  (Lucy wriggles free and slugs him, prompting Russo to slap her in return)
  (Gabriel sits Lucy and looks at a pained Russo)
  Gabriel: Are you going to be alright?
  • The next time it happens, Gabriel is less convinced of his people’s competence. Lucy shoots Emerson in the foot and tries to kick a gun over to John before Emerson grabs her again.
    Gabriel: Jesus Christ. Have you got her? [Emerson nods] You're sure?
• "Great. The car's on fire."
• John tries to carjack a ride, but Matt stops him (since the car will lock down if tampered) by activating the airbags, which blow up right in John's face.
  (Matt slams a trash can into the car, blowing up the bags)
  John (in pain): Christ!
  Matt: Whoa, that was crazy, did you see that? Sorry about that, man, didn't think they'd come out that fast? (John angrily rips out his airbag while Matt struggles with his) How'd you do yours? You all right? It hit you a little bit?
  (John shoots him a "You fucking kidding me?" look)
  • Then Matt gets the OnStar operator to turn the car on remotely by feigning panic from a car accident ("My dad is my hero and he's dying!")
• After the car-into-helicopter bit, Matt comes over to help McClane, who is bleeding profusely from road rash. John asks how Matt is holding up.
  Matt: I skinned my knee and my asthma's acting up!
• John's snark replying to his two signature attacks of the movie.
  Matt: You just killed a helicopter with a car!
  John: I was out of bullets.

  Lucy: Daddy, you're out of your mind.
  John: What're you talkin' about?
  Lucy: You shot yourself!
  John: It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.

• When Matt brings John into Warlocks hacker cave, he claims John is into their stuff, John is staring at a Boba Fett cutout:
  John: Nice poster.
  Warlock: "You a fan of the Fett?"
  John: "No, I was always more of a Star Wars guy."
  *Stares of disbelief from Matt & Warlock.*
  • The funniest part is, the way John says it, he was trolling them, but Matt and Warlock didn't catch it.

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