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Funny / JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders

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Sorry, boys, but, "it's not what it looks like" ain't gonna cut it today.
Stardust Crusaders is among the franchise's most over-the-top and... well, bizarre Parts, so there's naturally quite a bit of humor to be found.

The Tarot Arc

  • Jotaro's first appearance, when Holly goes to pick him up from jail. She happily responds without a problem.
    Holly: (panicked) Jotaro! Jotaro! Jotaro!
    Jotaro: SHUT UP! Get out of my face, you bitch!
    Holly: (cheerily) Okay~!
  • Jotaro repeatedly stealing various objects with his Stand while locked in a jail cell at the very start of the arc, somehow managing to snag RC cars, weights, motorcycle helmets, and an exercise bike. Some fridge humor comes into play when you realize that Star Platinum is a short range Stand. Oh yeah, one of the things stolen was an issue of Shonen Jump, the manga that publishes the series.
  • When Holly went to pick up Jotaro from jail, the two police officers relay the events of the fight. Apparently it was a group of thugs against only Jotaro, they were armed with knives and nunchakus, one of the fighters was a former boxer, and all in all in the group, fifteen bones were broken and all of them had their balls crushed. Understandably, all of the thugs he's sharing a cell with are terrified of him.
  • The Joestar family share a touching moment after Jotaro is released from jail.
    Jotaro: Why are you such an annoying bitch?
    Holly: Okay, I dunno~!
    Joseph: (furiously) HEY! How dare you address your mother that way?! And what kind of language is that?! And stop smiling, Holly! You'll only encourage it!
    Holly: Okay~!
  • Joseph having to smash a 30,000 yen camera every time with Hermit Purple to take a spirit photo of DIO (he has around ten of these by the time he showed Jotaro and Holly his Stand). The punchline? When DIO was seen doing the same thing later with a similar power, he simply gave the camera a light tap and it showed the Crusaders on their plane perfectly.
  • Jotaro has a rather amusing reaction to his school's nurse trying to cut his pants in order to treat the wound on his leg. First he dodges, then Jotaro flees his chair, sending it spinning. All because he doesn't want his pants cut up.
  • In the anime, during Jotaro's fight with Kakyoin in the nurse's office, Jotaro makes Star Platinum grab hold of Kakyoin's Hierophant Green. Instead of immediately punching Kakyoin's Stand, Star Platinum just holds its neck and... shakes it back and forth, flailing Hierophant Green like a ragdoll while yelling in its face.
  • Holly blissfully musing that her beloved son must be thinking of her while doing her morning chores only for Jotaro to suddenly appear with what looks like a bloodied kidnap victim in tow. Then there's the hilariously casual way Jotaro carries Kakyoin: one arm wrapped around the other boy's shoulders with his free hand in his pocket, not even bending slightly under the weight.
  • Holly trolling her own father by asking for help to change her panties while she's laid up sick. This would be cute if she was four years old. Add forty years to that and you have yourself an unbelievable Womanchild.
    • The day before, Holly tells Joseph to refer to her as "Seiko" because that's what her friends call her. Joseph is understandably upset at this and continues to call his daughter "Holly", who then blatantly ignores her father.
      Joseph: Holly!!!
      Holly: Did I hear something?
      Joseph: GYAAAHHH!!!!
  • The anime adds a couple scenes that are pretty funny.
    • After the Tower of Gray fight, Avdol can only stare in disbelief at how easily the flight attendants fall for Jotaro and Kakyoin.
    • After Joseph defeats the Empress Stand, revealing the true form of its user (a very Gonk woman who was wearing the skin of a much younger, prettier lady), Polnareff (whom she had been trying to seduce) basically retreats into a Corner of Woe until they leave. The others try throwing the car keys at him to snap him out of it... and they get stuck in his hair.
  • Joseph is forced to land a jet after Gray Fly takes out the pilots.
    Joseph: Hey, Jotaro. This'll be my third crash landing. Heh, have you ever known anyone who's ever crash landed a plane three times in their life?
    (Beat)
    Jotaro: ...I'm never flying with you again.
    • Before taking the camel, Joseph suggests crossing the desert by helicopter. Jotaro reluctantly says that he's not flying with a guy who has crashed three times in his life.
    • And then the incident with Mannish Boy marks the fourth time Joseph crashes a plane. At that time, Jotaro had to fly with his grandfather again. And yes, the plane crashes. Jotaro mutters "I just knew it" as it happens.
  • Polnareff's introduction involves him approaching the table everyone is seated at to ask for help reading the restaurant's menu. Jotaro immediately tells him he's annoying and to go away. Polnareff's shocked and offended expression is priceless.
  • Polnareff's open-mouthed reaction to the weird Cantonese food randomly ordered off a Hong Kong restaurant menu by Joseph all willy-nilly — specifically, frog legs!
  • Joseph Squicking like a little girl while Jotaro and Star Platinum are pulling the flesh bud out of Polnareff.
    Joseph: Eagh! Those tentacles are so gross, I can't even look at 'em!
    Jotaro: Quit your bitchin', Old Man!
  • Polnareff taking pictures of two ladies who were on the plane that went down and scouted out the hot men who saved their lives.
    Avdol: This is nothing like the Polnareff of a moment ago.
    Kakyoin: It's like his emotions change on a dime.
    Joseph: More like he's got two brains, and the one downstairs suddenly started calling the shots.
    Jotaro: (adjusts his cap) Good grief...
    • One has to wonder how much Joseph was being reminded of his first meeting with Ceasar in that moment.
  • The fact that Jotaro and Kakyoin are still wearing their school uniforms in a trip to Egypt. They are questioned about it and their justification is...?
    Jotaro: We're students, so we should look like students.
  • Jotaro's rather clever bluff to reveal Captain Tennile/Dragon as the Stand User of Dark Blue Moon. After smoking a cigarette and getting reprimanded by the captain, he declares him the Stand User. As the other Crusaders insist Jotaro not make stuff up, the captain acts confused, wanting to know what a "Stand" even is. Jotaro says that he's discovered a way to catch Stand Users with cigarette smoke, as it causes a vein to pop out in their noses. Cue all the Crusaders and the captain himself all gasping in astonishment as they put their hands to their noses, the captain stupidly blowing his cover. It has to be seen to be believed...
    Jotaro: Relax, I'm lying...that said, it looks like we found the idiot, didn't we?
    • What's especially hilarious is how Polnareff seems especially freaked out about all this, asking Jotaro if he was really serious.
    • Even funnier? Anne, who had previously been thought the Stand User, has been listening in on this conversation the whole time and has no clue what's going on. When everyone (including the idiotic captain), puts their hands to their nose, she is staring dumbfounded at them all and wondering what the hell is going on.
  • Polnareff nonchalantly offering Joseph some gum after the battle with Strength.
  • The surreal stand off before the fight between Polnareff and Devo the Cursed. Shortly after entering his hotel room, Polnareff noticed that Devo was hiding inside the mini-fridge, which he proceeds to creepily crawl out of when called out. Then Devo asks Polnareff how he knew his hiding place, leading to this reply:
    Polnareff: So you really ARE that stupid? [points to several cans and bottles cooling down on top of the fridge] You took everything out of the fridge and didn't bother putting any of it away, you DUMBASS!
  • Anime related, but the "Rero rero rero rero" moments were translated so well it's outright hilarious to watch.
    • Furthermore, when the first "Rero rero rero rero" was shown, it was actually Rubber Soul impersonating Kakyoin and was a tip off that this isn't what Kakyoin would be doing. Cut to the end of the episode, the real Kakyoin requests a cherry and does the "Rero rero rero rero" again for real, creeping the hell out of Jotaro until a flock of flamingo passes by and Kakyoin admiring it finally convinces Jotaro that they're not dealing with another imposter.
    • Also, how do they confirm that the Kakyoin at the hotel is the real one? He explains that he was sunbathing. In his school uniform. Since he sees nothing wrong with this, Joseph concludes that he's the real deal.
  • Shortly after arriving in India and the group is relaxing at a restaurant and musing on their experience with culture shock. Jotaro, who had been silent since their arrival, suddenly says he likes the place. Joseph is shocked and asks if Jotaro really means it in a tone of disbelief. It was completely out of the blue.
  • Toilet Humor is quite literal in Stardust Crusaders, providing something of a Running Gag.
    • Polnareff's first experience with an Indian toilet. Before he goes in, the bellhop hands Polnareff a big stick, which confuses the Frenchman. Thinking nothing of it, Polnareff closes the door... and then suddenly scrambles back out again just as fast after a pig pokes its head up from the bowl. And then the bellhop recommends letting the pig lick Polnareff's butt clean!!
    • Joseph's constant poking at Polnareff's misfortune of having licked a dirty toilet while under Justice's influence.
      • Even better, it was Jotaro who told Joseph about the toilet-licking incident. It seems that Jotaro might well have inherited some of his grandfather's trollish tendencies.
    • Then Joseph has a bad experience with a toilet while in Egypt. Probably the only time he screams, "OH MY GOD!" twice in one scene. Scene in Japanese and in English What makes it funnier is that the narrator says desert sand is sterile just before the second OMG, making it as if Joseph is reacting to that.note 
  • The dub part of Joseph vs. Empress had Joseph at one point curse with "Shit! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!(Wait a minute)". He meant to utter the family name of the Bible, but, hilariously, characters with the same name appear in other parts of the series.
  • On their way out of India, the heroes pick up the runaway girl from earlier, who's hitchhiking. She tries to get Kakyoin's attention by talking about how she'll have to wear a bra soon. The reaction?
    Caption box pointing at the heroes: NO ONE CARES.
  • The ending to the Wheel of Fortune chapter. Especially ZZ thinking he's killed Jotaro and proclaiming "I did it! I ended Part 3 early!" and Jotaro asking him who the main character's gonna be now ("And you better not say you.") Then the big reveal about ZZ...he's just a scrawny little guy with comically huge muscley arms. Cue the group bursting out laughing at his ridiculous appearance... and then laughing AGAIN when his Wheel of Fortune car Stand goes from a big muscle car to a smaller one, which Joseph compares to a sheep losing its wool.
    • The dub version is also pretty hilarious. While the "I ended Part 3 early" line didn't make it to the dub version, ZZ's line was changed to "Your valiant hero finally bit the dust!", which is, in a way, a reference to Part 4 instead of Part 3. And when Jotaro asks who's the main character going to be, he said this line which (intentionally or not) made a reference to Matthew Mercer's Overwatch VA role:
      Jotaro: (revealing he's alive) And who would replace me, Jotaro Kujo? Let me guess... you thought it'd be you, you roadhog!
  • When the heroes end up at an inn being run, unbeknownst to them, by J. Geil's mother, Enya (who plans on killing Polnareff horribly after he killed her son for killing his sister). Unfortunately for her, Polnareff takes a shine to the old woman and keeps trying to make friendly conversation, while inadvertently pushing Enya's Berserk Button over and over until she's struggling to keep the facade up. The height of this is when Polnareff proceeds to ask Enya if she has any grandchildren, then offering her a seat, then giving her a back rub, and while she tries extremely hard not to snap, saying that she reminds him of his mother (who he lost when he was young) and that he could be her son if she wanted.
    • Earlier, when our heroes see a dead body riddled with holes, Polnareff compares the corpse to the Cartoon Cheese seen in Tom and Jerry.
    • When Enya is luring the heroes into her bed-n-breakfast, she tells them that a James Bond movie was filmed at the location and John Lennon even stayed there for some time. Polnareff joyously asks if that's true, at which point Enya bluntly responds that she made it all up. Getting his hopes up must've been part of her revenge scheme...
    • In the English dub, Enya is voiced by Barbara Goodson using her Rita Repulsa voice. If you ever wanted to hear Rita Repulsa as a psychotic and foul-mouthed old woman who wants to cut off Polnareff's dick and crush his balls until they pop, look no further.
    • Enya's entire ruse of how she knows Jotaro's name falls down when she says his name outloud, only for him to point out no one has spoken his name. She replies that its in the guestbook, and of course, Jotaro already stole said book, and shows how she knows she's lying, because the name it shows in the book is not 'Jotaro Kujo', but Qtaro Kujo.
  • The Doner Kebab seller's English is hilarious, especially if you already know that's Steely Dan under that hood.
    "BYE-BYE, THANK-YOU NOW!"
    • The entire scene is hilarious. In what is otherwise an action-packed road trip story with elements of comedy, the plot suddenly takes a detour to teach the viewer/reader what Doner Kebabs are ("The hamburger of the Middle East!"), as well as how to haggle.
      • Even more so, Dan was originally going to charge Joseph ¥1000 for five kebabs. After some intense haggling, he manages to buy them all for just ¥455. Awesome feat from him, of course. Little does he know:
    Steely Dan: (thinking) I usually sell five for ¥150!
  • The English translation's clever Writing Around Trademarks, by changing Steely Dan's name to Dan of Steel.
  • When confronted by the Crusaders for killing Enya, Steely Dan replies that none of them will be able to lay a finger on him. Jotaro proceeds to use Star Platinum to send him flying and crashing into a nearby shop window. Too bad Dan wasn't done explaining how his power worked and Joseph ended up getting hurt too.
  • When Jotaro was forced to scratch Steely Dan's back, the sensation is amplified on Joseph, causing him to scream in discomfort. Unfortunately for them, it drew a crowd, much to Kakyoin and Polnareff's embarrassment. Some of the crowd even took pity on them, mistaking the two men for "having a crazy old man in the family".
  • The whole "I'll show you how to tame a camel!" scene. Joseph claims he can teach the others how to ride a camel since he learned it from watching Lawrence of Arabia, but it soon becomes clear that he doesn't know what he's doing and he admits that he slept through half of the movie anyway. Once everything is over, Joseph is covered in comical bandages. And when the camel spits on him, he says it makes good sunscreen.
    • Special note to how the guys are just staring at him with blank faces as he's dragged around, at most their eyes move until Joseph full on crashes.
  • The gang's battle with Arabia Fats and his Sun Stand. Especially when Kakyoin, Polnareff, and even Jotaro burst out laughing hysterically, causing Joseph to think they've gone insane from the heat... then said tense moment becomes hilarious when it turns out they're laughing because they spotted a ridiculously obvious flaw in Arabia Fats' otherwise perfect concealment. Cue Jotaro's Star Platinum taking the poor guy down with a single stone. It's almost worth it just to see Jotaro Kujo, hardass extraordinaire, laughing his head off. Arguably funnier in the anime version, where during the scene when Kakyoin points out the flaw in the disguise and subsequent stone throw, a sped up version of the music that normally plays when the tables are turned on the enemy runs in the background. Even the aftermath is funny, as Joseph is still rather dumbstruck and goes, "You mean... we already beat the Stand User?" Kakyoin replies, "You hit the nail on the head." And to emphasize this, text then displays, "The Sun— RETIRED".
  • During the battle in the dream world with Death Thirteen, Kakyoin manages to successfully bring Hierophant Green into the dream since Polnareff knocked him out just as he summoned him in the real world. However, as Hierophant Green clings to his shoulders where he can't swing his scythe, Death Thirteen manipulates the clouds into grabbing the scythe and slashing through his body; revealing that he is nothing but a head and arms while it looks like Hierophant has been sliced in half. Kakyoin seems surprised by this and drops to the ground as if dead, but gets up a moment later with a "Nah, just kidding!" as he reveals what Hierophant was really doing. The tone of his voice and the fact that he pulled a fake "death" is just so out of character for Kakyoin that it's hilarious.
    • Despite the tone of the two episodes, there's plenty of levity throughout, especially with Joseph taking a shine to Mannish Boy like a grandparent would and Polnareff falling head over heels for the baby food Joseph fixes, enough so that he has to ban the Frenchman from eating any more, or else there won't be any for the baby.
    • This storyline probably features Polnareff at his absolute dumbest much to Kakyoin's consternation. His reaction to him and Kakyoin having the same dream about riding a ferris wheel in a creepy, deserted amusement park next to a dead dog? Chow down on ice cream and popcorn, of course! Cue the normally calm, analytical Kakyoin turning into a Fiery Redhead from sheer frustration, and even Death Thirteen himself lampshading Polnareff's lack of care when he manifests.
      Death Thirteen: Oh, for the love of... let me spell it out for you. I'm seeing that you're slow on the uptake, Polnareff!
    • Kakyoin comically faceplanting and staying unconscious for hours after Polnareff very lightly swats him on the back of the neck. To add insult to injury, Polnareff complains about Kakyoin, who weighs all of 65 kg, being heavy when asked to move him.
    • Even though he's a fake, there's something absolutely hilarious about Star Platinum smashing his own face repeatedly with a frying pan and making silly faces with an "Ora?" each time.
    • Seeing someone as sensible and serious-minded as Kakyoin forcing a baby to eat his own shit is hilarious as it is disturbing and gross. Especially after Kakyoin smugly turns to the camera as Mannish Boy devolves into horrified shrieking, and makes a comedic rimshot sound.
      Kakyoin: Ba-dum tss!
  • Polnareff contemplating various ideas for his second wish (after receiving a load of what turns out to be fake treasure for his first one) to Judgement, eventually arriving on one that leaves even the wish-granting Stand completely stumped with his utter child-like glee.
    Judgement: So I take it knowing the answer to that question is your second wish? Though it's a little on the boring side if you ask me, but I owe you a debt of gratitude for letting me out of that lamp, so I shall grant your wish.
    Polnareff: (serious) You know, you're a smug bastard. Alright then, have it your way! I do have a wish. (very, VERY enthusiastically as upbeat music plays) I wanna be a comic artist! That was always my dream back when I was a kid. And don't make me some pathetic one, either! I wanna be bigger than Disney! (suddenly cuts to Polnareff standing in a bright and busy amusement park at night, with a massive firework display going off. A huge statue of Silver Chariot is visible, as are lampposts topped with his earrings) In fact... some day, I'm gonna build my own POLNAREFFLAND!
    Judgement: (close-up of it staring silently, with the background music immediately cutting off)
    Polnareff: (Beat) ...Y-you know what, scratch that idea.
  • When Polnareff runs into a still-living Avdol after he apparently died, he enthusiastically brings him back to the others, only for them to act completely nonchalant about it. They were all in on a plot to fake Avdol's death (with Hol Horse and J. Geil's unintentional help) and didn't tell Polnareff because they feared he had a loose tongue. Poor man is so upset he even starts crying.
  • The scene where Avdol and Polnareff are screwing with the currently hidden Cameo.
  • As the gang attempts to escape their submarine from Midler's High Priestess Stand, Joseph quickly trains them in underwater handsigns since they'll be wearing scuba masks. Polnareff shows off some signs he knows... which Kakyoin immediately figures out means "I can see your underwear." Polnareff bursts out laughing thanks to the mostly sensible Kakyoin getting it in one shot. They then cheer, high-five and fist bump even as Joseph tells them off for messing about with the enemy right behind them.
    • Made even funnier in the Japanese dub. The hand signals Polnareff perform roughly translate to "pantsu maru mie", which is "I can see your underwear" in Japanese. Polnareff claps (pan), lifts up two fingers (tsu), forms a circle (maru), and performs an "I see you" gesture (mieru). And only Kakyoin seems to understand it.
      • Look closely at Jotaro as the shot pans out once Kakyoin and Polnareff finish the handshake and Joseph starts yelling at them. His eyes are shaded over in the same way Kakyoin and Polnareff’s are. He’s in on the joke.
  • As High Priestess has the hapless heroes in her mouth, Midler remarks on how Jotaro's "just her type," giving Polnareff the idea to have the entire gang try to convince her into letting them go...by sweet-talking her. Kakyoin even compares her to Audrey Hepburn. Sadly she catches on, but still.
  • Star Platinum punching his way out of the High Priestess' huge diamond teeth is awesome. What happens when they finally locate the Stand User is this. Polnareff takes a good look and declares to the others You Do Not Want To Know, as Star Platinum's "toothwork" had transferred to the User.
  • In the epilogue, the Speedwagon spy looks at nine cloaked figures leaving DIO's mansion, which is no doubt a set up for the Nine Glory Gods. Now consider who Pet Shop and Anubis are...
    • The other two cloaked figures were probably Kenny G and Vanilla Ice. Or possibly Enrico Pucci and Johngalli A, who would have left Egypt around this time.

The Egypt Arc

  • In the dub of "Iggy the Fool and Geb's N'Doul, Part 1", when the crusaders fly out of the Jeep, there's an added "OH NOOOOO!" from Joseph.
  • Jotaro is using Iggy’s stand The Fool to fly over to N’Doul (who is blind but can sense vibrations in the ground to track people). N’Doul reveals that he devised a counter to this strategy by using Geb to bounce sand off the duo, revealing where they are. Iggy panics and starts dragging Jotaro along the ground to sacrifice Jotaro to Geb and fly away while Jotaro gets killed. How does Jotaro escape? He grabs Iggy with Star Platinum and throws him at N’Doul. What makes it is the smug smirk on Jotaro’s face and the giant shit-eating grin on Star Platinum’s. And the clincher? N’Doul gets mad at him for it!
  • The ED for the Oingo Boingo episode is animated entirely in the weird cartoon style of Thoth, instead of the traditional ending.
    • Hell, the whole Oingo Boingo chapter probably counts. Boingo's Stand Thoth predicts that Jotaro will die in an explosion, so Boingo tries to plant a bomb hidden in an orange in the heroes' car. When Joseph and Polnareff show up, Oingo disguises himself as Jotaro to avoid being caught and it works so well that Joseph and Polnareff take him along on their car ride. Now, here's the problem; Thoth predicted that Jotaro will suffer an explosion, only now Oingo is Jotaro! Oingo spends the chapter desperately trying to get out of his fix, and gets put in one silly situation after another where he has to prevent his identity from being exposed to Polnareff and Joseph in a send-up to the kind of humor you'd see in a Looney Tunes cartoon. Ultimately, Oingo manages to get away, but as he's running to a safe place to ditch his disguise, Polnareff throws the orange-bomb away where it lands...right where Oingo's foot is stepping down.
      Oingo as Jotaro: ARE YOU... KIDDING MEEEEEE?!
      (Explosion in the background as Joseph and Polnareff obliviously drive away)
    • The Thoth-style ED sequence makes its triumphant returns when Boingo ends up teaming up with Hol Horse.
  • Polnareff is offered "authentic papyrus" by a local Egyptian merchant, and upon realizing he's being conned, what's his immediate response? ...Rip it in half, then point out that it's a forgery.
  • Anubis on being trapped forever at the bottom of the Nile:
    Anubis: I'M SO ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE...! (breaks down crying)
    • Jotaro breaks Anubis in half and mocks him for claiming that he'll "shred him to pieces". Not really funny — until you notice that Star Platinum is putting his hand to his ear... but Jotaro isn't, because that's how many fucks he gives.
    • After that. Anubis possesses a child and tries to throw the broken blade at Jotaro, only for Iggy to bum rush him while trying to get the lollipop dropped by the kid and make him miss. This sends him over to the Nile River. Each time it looks like he's going to be able to halt his out-of-control flight, but Murphy's Law kicks in over and over again!note 
    • While Anubis is plotting to kill them, Polnareff offers Jotaro a bandaid for a stab wound to the gut. Jotaro just replies "I don't want it."
  • Joseph and Avdol's bizarre adventure while battling Mariah. Especially when they get into a spot of trouble in the ladies' bathroom.
    Avdol: "Disasters in the bathroom" is Polnareff's department!
    • Beforehand, Joseph got stuck onto an escalator and failed to find the emergency stop button (it was on the side, not the front). As he sees his doom coming and closer, he starts screaming and ranting on how he's going to die, just in time for Avdol to casually walk in and press the button, but Joseph continues to scream and rant while the escalator just stopped, even when Avdol signals that it should be OK, and also attracting a huge crowd.
    • And then it gets worse:
      Avdol: Mr. Joestar...! Can you move away from me? I can't run with you stuck to me like this!
      Joseph: You too, Avdol! Give me some room!
      Avdol: Wh... what are you talking about? You're the one who's running next to me...!
      Joseph: Two... magnets... stick to each other! Agggh!
    • Then they try to unstick themselves from the magnetic attraction that Mariah's Bastet Stand afflicted them with. Unfortunately for both of them, it requires Joseph to stand up straight with his back to a fence while Avdol slowly slides downward off of him, causing no end of embarrassment when some bystanders catch the two... with Avdol's face at Joseph's groin level.
      Avdol: Uhh...
      Joseph: Wh... what's wrong, Avdol?
      Avdol: Is... isn't this position a bit... No... Not just a bit... This position is very awkward. If people saw us they'd get the wrong idea...
      Joseph: N... no one's looking, so hurry up and slide off my...
    • And then, when it looks like they've finally gotten loose from one another... Bastet's magnetism re-asserts itself, and they end up up re-attached in such a way that it looks like Avdol is vigorously humping Joseph!
      Joseph: AIEEEE!
    • Not to mention when an old lady sees this, for she had been earlier smitten with Joseph's "daring" nature (it was Bastet's magnetism flipping her skirt), but switches gears and goes apeshit on the poor guys.
      Joseph: (while getting pummeled by the old lady) HELP ME! OOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOD!
    • Mariah's over-the-top furious reaction to finding out that Joseph and Avdol survived the train driving over them, shortly after gloating that Lord DIO will be most impressed with her.note  It's hilarious in both the English and the Japanese dub. The fact that her deliberately Off-Model Gonk facial expression (Mariah is meant to be very attractive basically everywhere else) is lifted right out of the manga helps as well.
      Mariah: So you think you've outsmarted me...? You... OBNOXIOUS PIECES OF SHIIIIIIIIIT!
    • Well, speaking of Mariah, when she revealed that she was storing her weapons inside her bra and it reacted well to his Hermit Purple... it's played like she suddenly got Breast Expansion. Joseph has the most... titillating glare.
    • Also, while Joestar and Avdol are trying to catch Mariah, they keep running past things that can't help but be attracted to them, including some cans, an engagement ring, a whole pyramid of cans, dentures, a bike, and a car.
  • De-aged Polnareff's reaction while taking a bath with Malèna. Finally, a good experience in a foreign bathroom! (At least until Alessi sneaks in.)
  • Alessi thinks he has the advantage over Jotaro when he uses his Stand to de-age Jotaro to approximately seven years old. Then little Jotaro socks him square in the face before proceeding to "ora ora" the crap out of him without even using his Stand. Becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when you recall Holly remembering Jotaro as a polite and mild-mannered child; she's so doting that she never realizes how brash and rude he was as a kid.
  • After Alessi regains consciousness, he finds the re-aged Jotaro and Polnareff looming over him, ready for payback. Cue both of their Stands manifesting at once. And in the 2014 anime, this is preceded by Star Platinum — up to this point, as unflappable as Jotaro himself — flashing one hell of a manic grin. (Silver Chariot may be doing the same, but its helmet makes it hard to tell. However, Chariot sports similar Hellish Pupils to Star Platinum at the time, so it's more than likely.)
    • In the anime, Alessi gets launched into the sky like he auditioned for Team Rocket, yelling "ATTABOY!" the whole time! And the narrator chimes in to lampshade the whole finale, detailing his Stand, his age, his marital status, and then finally the fact he's been sent flying — RETIRED).
  • From the Capcom fighter, one of the secret characters asks the question, what would happen if Alessi tried to use his Stand on the much older Joseph? The answer: accidentally de-age Joseph to the point where he was about 18; during the events of Part 2, when he was in his physical prime and an expert in Hamon. Can anyone else say "oops"?
    • It gets even better, as one of the 2012 Animators drew a picture of Young Joseph using Clackers on Alessi (while carrying a child Kakyoin for some reason) as an April Fools Joke. Here's a (colored) a picture of it.◊
  • During Jotaro's poker game Batman Gambit against D'Arby, he maintains his award-winning poker face whilst D'Arby steadily goes insane from the tension. After the game is won, Avdol checks Jotaro's hand, only to find that rather than having a hand that could beat D'Arby's four of a kind with kings, Jotaro had one of the worst hands possible: worthless cards to the last (as the kid put it in the dub, "Your hand was shit! Absolute SHIT!"). Cue Avdol and the kid dealer nearly face faulting and said kid letting slip that he had been dealing Jotaro a bum hand on D'Arby's orders. When Jotaro asks said kid about it, the kid runs for the hills. Meanwhile, Jotaro is glad he didn't look at the cards, admitting seeing a hand that bad would've probably elicited the same reaction from him.
    • Avdol, ever the responsible one, tries to keep Jotaro from raising the pot:
      Avdol: Wait, Jotaro, you can't! Betting a man's soul without his knowledge is so uncouth!
    • D'Arby's Villainous Breakdown during his card game with Jotaro is hilarious. After the first winning hand, D'Arby is somewhat perturbed to see Jotaro isn't even looking at his cards. Jotaro proceeds to use Star Platinum to sneak him a cigarette and a drink, making D'Arby think he's somehow switching his cards. What really starts doing D'Arby in is when Jotaro starts making outrageous raises, starting with all of his remaining chips (including the chips for his soul), then more chips for Avdol's soul (Avdol volunteered since he couldn't maintain a poker face and would've lost to D'Arby if he challenged him), then more chips for Kakyoin's soul (to Avdol's astonishment), then even more chips still for his mother's soul! And to top it all off, he demands D'Arby call his raise with the secret to DIO's Stand, since D'Arby doesn't have enough souls to throw into the pot. D'Arby ends up having a complete and total breakdown, the stress driving him mouth-frothingly crazy!
    • Made even funnier in the dub, where Jotaro accidentally slips up and admits he's bluffing. Yet, his confidence and demeanor are so stone cold that D'Arby doesn't even notice.
    • Not to mention when Jotaro asks to raise his bet, D'Arby's reaction to be seen to be believed.
      D'Arby: R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Raise the pot?!
    • The TV series does the climax of D'Arby's Villainous Breakdown justice: he gets so freaked out, Color Failure kicks in!
    • In addition, someone uploaded the clip with this in the description:
      '''If you'd like to make a call... please hang up and try again.
  • In the 1993 OVA's English dub (as well as the 2015 anime), we have D'Arby's insane ramblings as the souls of all the victims he cheated are released following his defeat.
    D'Arby: Come on, everyone! Let's play a game of mahjong! Backgammon is a lot of fun, too! Or, we could play a game of dice! Even though I don't have any!
  • Hol Horse and Boingo's team up. When they're in an Egyptian taxi, Hol Horse is about to let Boingo out of the suitcase he was held captive in. Bear in mind, Boingo was on a plane, too, AND Bound and Gagged. The very first thing Boingo does when Hol Horse removes his gag? Puke all over him.
    Hol Horse: (with an utterly defeated expression) ...still a little airsick, are we?
    • When Hol Horse goes to confront the Crusaders, he checks Thoth first. According to Boingo's Stand, Hol Horse will get the perfect opportunity to off Jotaro and co. if he...sticks his fingers up Polnareff's nose. Hol Horse is skeptical, but when Polnareff catches him off-guard, Hol Horse has no choice but to do it anyway. This creates a hilariously awkward moment with the two at a stalemate, as neither know what to do next. Even better, said "nose attack" causes Polnareff to keep sneezing at inopportune moments, creating a Coincidental Dodge every time Hol Horse tries to shoot the Crusaders.
      • Hol Horse's response after doing so is not what you'd expect someone to say when ramming your fingers up someone's nose.
        Hol Horse: HELL YEAH!
      • There's also this when Hol Horse doesn't know how to proceed after following the prophecy:
        Polnareff: (with fingers up nose) Excuse me... uh, Hol Horse, what the hell are you doing?!
        Hol Horse: You're not the only one who wants to know the answer to that question! I haven't the foggiest idea where to go from here. What am I supposed to DO?!
    • At one point, Hol Horse manages to hold Polnareff hostage. He hides behind a wall, pointing Emperor at Polnareff's head. When the others return to ask Polnareff why he's standing in the corner, Polnareff tries to signal to them that Hol Horse is behind him... with his tongue, to their confusion. Even better, his tongue appropriately gets shaped like an arrow when he does so.
  • F-MEGA! Serekt yer cur!
  • How about the conclusion to the competition with Telence T. D'Arby, whose Stand powers let him know exactly how Jotaro's going to deal with him?
    Jotaro: Answer this. Will I hit you with my right fist or decide to deck you with my left? I'd love to know.
    D'Arby: Well, since you're asking, you'll use... your right one?
    Jotaro: No! No! No! No! No!
    D'Arby: Then... your left?
    Jotaro: No! No! No! No! No!
    D'Arby: You're... not gonna use both, are you?
    Jotaro: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!
    D'Arby: Are you gonna do the "Ora Ora" thing?!
    Joseph: YES! YES! YES! Oh my god...
    (Ass-kicking ensues)
    • The same scene is done justice in the anime with one minor change: when Joseph chimes in prior to D'Arby's ass-whupping, he sounds exasperated as if asking Jotaro "Please, get this nonsense over with".
  • When Vanilla Ice phases out of DIO's room, DIO promptly states he could at least close the door. Hey, you'd be really mad too if your minion just removed the barrier of privacy that is your bedroom door.
    • There's something darkly hilarious about Vanilla Ice's insane devotion to DIO in the scene they get together. DIO floats that he's feeling a little thirsty for some blood, so Ice responds by bringing out his Stand and karate chopping his own head off to collect all of his blood in a pot. Then once DIO brings Ice back as a vampire and orders him to deal with the intruders, Ice hops into Cream and blasts his way through the wall... destroying the pot he collected all of his blood in on the way out.
    • Fridge Brilliance kicks in Part 6, where Dio admits in a flashback that he didn't trust Vanilla Ice with his plan precisely because Ice's fanatical devotion is too extreme.
  • During Polnareff's fight against Vanilla Ice, he gets gravely injured in his leg and is unable to properly move. While Vanilla Ice is running circles around Dio's castle and is closing in quickly on Polnareff, we're treated to a random multiple-choice question asking how Polnareff will dodge Cream's attack. The answers are a total riot:
    Answer 1: The handsome Polnareff suddenly thinks of a counterattack
    Answer 2: His friends will come and save him
    Answer 3: He won't be able to dodge. Reality is cruel.
  • There's the completely hilarious vampire literally known as Nukesaku (literally "Loser", which Viz uses in the English manga and anime).
  • Once Fridge Logic sets in, the scene where Polnareff is unable to advance up the stairs towards DIO... you imagine how DIO is activating The World, quickly running down the stairs, picking Polnareff up, moving him a couple of stairs down, then running back into position and his pose every time Polnareff takes a step. In five seconds. You can just imagine the little giggle DIO's having each time he does it.
    • This animation◊ captures it pretty well.
    • This GIF adds a little more hilarity to this scene.◊
    • Also, in the scene where DIO's messing around with Senator Phillips to force him to drive the car to chase Joseph & Kakyoin, remember that whenever Phillips tried to exit the car, the scene would then suddenly cut to Phillips inside the car, still in his running pose. Like with Polnareff's stair scene, imagine that everytime Phillips tried to exit the car, DIO will activate The World's Time Stop, exit the car, pick Phillips up and put him back in the car, close the door on Phillip's side, re-enter the car, close the door on his side, and sit back in the exact position. All in 5 seconds. Looks like DIO really has a knack of using The World purely for the sake of trolling other people.
    • It's funnier when realizing that the only logical reason he had Phillips drive at all was because Dio grew up in Victorian England, and he simply didn't know how to drive a car.
  • In a darkly comical way, the way DIO bluntly told Senator Wilson Phillips (who DIO was forcing to drive him around Cairo after the escaping Joseph and Kakyoin) that he wasn't going to let him go alive. DIO was so blunt with the poor guy, it's hard not to laugh.
  • The last two episodes of the Stardust Crusaders TV anime has a moment that is both funny and awesome in the form of DIO using The World during the opening credits sequence.
  • This is more of an ambiguous one, but in some ways Polnareff stabbing DIO in the head can be seen as this. DIO just pauses, activates The World and THEN announces him stopping time, dropping everything before he removes himself from Silver Chariot's blade. All the while, DIO just seems annoyed with Polnareff taking a cheap shot from behind. Like he's upset Polnareff isn't playing along.
  • DIO, having half his skull turned into mush by Star Platinum, tries to stand up, and promptly faceplants. And he starts petulantly complaining that he feels nauseous and sick with a giant gaping hole in his head.
    • During the X-Ray shot to show what happened to him, one can see that the heart on his forehead is not from the circlet. He, at some point, altered his own skull to add a heart made of bone to his forehead.
  • During his attempts to escape Jotaro and get back to "the place", DIO tries to scurry down a manhole and into the sewers... only to see Jotaro inexplicably standing down there staring back up at him and crackling with Stand Power.
    Jotaro: And where do you think you're going? We've got unfinished business.
  • DIO flying through the air after being pummeled by Star Platinum, blood gushing from his cracked open skull and many other wounds... and declares his victory again! Granted, a few seconds later shows DIO had good reason to celebrate, but it's amusing while it lasts.
    DIO: Once again, my genius has triumphed over you!
  • On a related note, the Part III Capcom game: DIO's time over lose animation has him rapidly backdash off screen. Couple this with Mariah's Noblewoman's Laugh pose and...
  • And Joseph AGAIN in the epilogue to Part 3, when he fakes a Grand Theft Me with his best DIO impression immediately after being brought Back from the Dead by DIO's blood. Thankfully, he cut it out when Jotaro is about to smash him and manages to correctly answer questions about music and films that Joseph likes.
    • Even better in the 2015 anime. A dark purple aura radiates around Joseph, who sports a Slasher Smile and imitates DIO's voice almost perfectly. Just seeing Joseph's sudden shift from menacing to silly is just gut-bustingly funny.
    • A bit of subtle Hypocritical Humor lightens the scene further: Jotaro tests Joseph by asking him random trivia which only a pop culture nerd like Joseph would know. He proceeds to correctly answer Jotaro's questions, leading Jotaro to decide that it has to be Joseph, because "who else would know pointless crap like that." Except that to even ask these questions and judge their accuracy means that Jotaro himself knows this "pointless crap" too. The apple doesn't fall that far from the tree.
    • Joseph's answers being correct effectively canonizes the existence of "Weird Al" Yankovic in the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure setting.
  • Extremely morbid, but episode 46 of the 2015 anime, in which DIO kills Kakyoin by punching a hole through his abdomen was released on National Donut Day in the United States.
  • The Jotaro vs. DIO fight includes a monologue about the Wild West by Jotaro, who is voiced by Matthew Mercer in the English dub. Guess what he says in the dub of that scene.
    Jotaro: "It's high noon."
  • The infamous "ROAD ROLLER DA!" scene is hilarious for how completely out of the blue it is if you don't know it's coming. Hell, it's pretty funny even if you do know it's coming.
    • What exactly made DIO think that the best way to kill Jotaro was with a road roller? Where did he even get that road roller in the first place?
    • The English dub adds another layer of funniness to it with this morbid pun by DIO as he attacks:
      DIO: Seven seconds. (dives in with the road roller) I'M GOING TO ROLL ALL OVER YOU!
    Moments from the 1993 OVA 
Though it's quite dour compared to the manga and TV anime, the OVA has a few funny moments:

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