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Season 1: Identity

#1: Character Creation

Wheels announces their character.
Wheels: The camera opens on a salt flat, the sky is clear—
Hazel: Oh no.
Wheels: The sky is reflected in the salt flats, and then a heavy, military boot steps into the frame. We pan up past the distressed jeans, past the black leather jacket with a metal tee under it, and reach up to a face covered in straightened hair that goes over one eye, and then we hear the man speak and he says...
Criss: My name is Criss Angel, and I am the Mind Freak.
- Apparently during planning, Jo said real people were outlawed, and Wheels noticeably deflated. In the show, Jory and Wheels discuss that Criss is more of an idea than a person.
The appeal of playing Marche for Jory was having a character spending his entire game trying to get home, only to get knocked into three or four different and even more wild worlds.
Hazel's character is a member of a Russian Gadget Cult.
Wheels describes Criss getting lost in Gummy Space because he performed a disappearing trick (Jo: "And it worked?!"), and had to use his magic to create a bubble world around himself (Jo: "He's not Doctor Strange!") called "The Freak Zone".
When Riley says that all the characters can use Keyblades if they want.
Wheels: I neeeeeeed that goth keyblade!
- They name it Angel Dust. Hazel thinks they should've used Winkheart. Jo then realizes that they both have the Criss Angel Wiki pulled up and despairs a little.
Hazel is impressed with the Judge Blade Marche has because it has a pizza roller built into it.
While Jo is trying to name Roxanne's keyblade, Riley suggests "Goofanescence", prompting Jo to sing "Wake me Up" in Goofy's voice.
- Also discussing weapons.
Hazel: Wait, can I change my weapon?
Riley: Yes.
Hazel: Can I—can—can I have a gun?
Jory: *Spit Take*
Riley: G-U-N Gun?
Jory: I was drinking?!
Riley: If it's good enough for Xigbar it's good enough for Edith!
Jory: I literally just almost spit hard root beer all over my keyboard, Jesus Christ. "Can I have a gun?"

#2: Start of Something New

Jo voices their concerns about not being familiar with High School Musical, and states they'll probably assume everything that comes out of Riley's mouth is going to be a reference to the film.
On the subject on who needs a disguise, Hazel immediately points out that Criss Angel, the fifty-year old man, will need a bit of a disguise in the high school. Jo thinks that Roxanne won't need one, however.
Jo: Because Roxanne's gonna look like a normal—
Jory: DOG!
Jo:—other than, I guess, being a dog...
- Hazel thinks the others will be fine because even if they're inching into their twenties they still look the part thanks to the Dawson Casting in the film.
After seeing Sharpay bean Edith with a ball of wadded paper, Roxanne immediately tries to form a mastery link with her. It fails, and instead she falls in love with the girl.
On her way to the gym, Roxanne casually steals a board from one of the skater kids.
When Ms. Darbis confronts Criss over not looking like any janitor she knows, he tries to distract her by snapping his fingers and lighting a cigarette in his mouth. When she gets angry for that, he quickly turns it into a cupcake and declares it her birthday. it works.
First of all, the fact that Luxord is in High School Musical dressed as a gym teacher, then that he just straight up asks the gathered students if they have any hate in their hearts. Plus Roxanne immediately raises her hand in the hopes that Sharpay notices and is impressed.
While trying to determine who would be the most likely to be suspicious of the mysterious cloaked gym teacher, the group suddenly realizes that Marche could've potentially played Kingdom Hearts in his own world. They then scramble to determine which games were released first in the timeline to see whether Marche would know who the teacher is.
Riley: The sound of people furiously googling...
Riley describes how Edith realizes that everything is not as it seems in the gym:
Riley: This guy's not a teacher?! He's got a cloak! He's playin' card games! What is the two-bit magic act? You know a two-bit magician!
When Criss and Luxord first meet, Criss immediately feels a rivalry because he wants to be the greatest illusionist in all worlds.
Jo: Luxord does have slight control over time though...
Wheels: He can also eat shit!
- He then fails his roll and ends up with a mastery link, wanting to learn all of Luxord's secrets.
Partway through Riley describing a battle scene, Wheels just laughs and shouts "I keep forgetting I'm playing Criss Angel!"
Edith's babbling to herd the other students out of the gym to safety also has her repeatedly remind them that's she's definitely their friend whom they've known for years.
- As the students flee towards the door where Criss is, Riley comments that it's the first time people have moved towards him since the nineties.

#3: All in This Together

Wheels can't remember where High School Musical is set, leading them to call it "cardinal direction university".
- Also during the recap, Wheels is unsure whether Luxord is a substitute teacher or has been there the whole time. Riley votes for the latter.
While Jory tries to figure out what Marche will do, his dog suddenly begins barking.
Riley: Marche barks.
Jo: Interesting choice!
Edith, disguised as a Dusk, scuttling on her knees up to Luxord, tugging on his coat like a child, and making him think there's a stain on his shirt in order to steal his cards.
Riley repeatedly tries and fails at imitating a Troy Bolton voice, with Wheels saying that his voice only stands out when he's singing. Cut to Riley, auto-tuned, asking about what happened in song.
- Troy's also very distraught about the loss of the Janitor, Criss Angel, even though he's never met him and is just making stuff up.
- Then Edith snaps at him to stop singing. "Read the room!"
Criss Angel, chained up in a realm of darkness after following Luxord through the dark portal. Riley asks Wheels what voice comes to him. As the music cuts out, Wheels answers: David Blaine.
Criss: I thought I banished you years ago!
- And then everyone immediately corpses due to Riley's attempt to voice David Blaine.
Criss doesn't want to lose track of Luxord after falling into the dark world, so Wheels asks if there's anything in the Kingdom Hearts universe that acts as a tracking device.
Riley: Uh...the letter χ?

#4: Fade to Black

Hazel asks if the party's inter-world vessel can be a big Criss Angel fedora.
Riley geeking out over taking the party to the world of Power Rangers RPM, explaining how awesome the series is. They highlight some of the rangers by saying that red has a dead brother, green is a con man, and blue is Scottish.
After admitting that he flunked out of Yen Sid's teachings, Criss says that he won't lead the team anymore and wants things to be more democratic. However, the result is that no one else wants to take charge, so upon landing in the middle of Venjix's assault on Corinth they all just awkwardly sit in the car and watch things unfold.
Marche tries to Deep Dive to figure out what's going on, but botches the roll. So he just announces to the car "I have no idea what's going on".
Edith is able to successfully make the rangers believe her lie about how they got there in order to gain information. Her lie? That she, her siblings, and her weird uncle are on vacation and ran out of gas.
Edith: This is my sibling, Roxanne.
Axel: I can see the resemblance.
Roxanne: I'm a dog person?
Edith: It's in the eyes.
Doctor K calls Criss Angel to talk to Edith (because Criss is the only person with a phone). She wants Edith to be Ranger Series Black. Edith initially thinks it's an insurance scam, and tries to get a good deal. Then she puts it on speaker, and Criss tries to convince her that black really suits him better. Doctor K assures the two that it does not, prompting Edith to defend him.
Doctor K: You will use the powers for good, Criss Angel will not!
Edith: I don't agree with you! I don't think you're giving Criss Angel enough credit! He's a good guy, he's doing his best!
Riley: Is that a sentence you ever thought you would say?
- Furthermore, this entire conversation takes place with Edith lying facedown on the ground after getting blown clear by Axel.
- "Press 1 to receive the ranger powers."
After morphing, Edith immediately becomes queasy.

#5: Heroes Among Us

Hazel spent the time between this episode and last trying to think of something funny that "RPM" could stand for other than "rounds per minute". Riley replies that the truth is funniest of all: it doesn't stand for anything.
Jory: It's just flavor text.
Hazel: It's just flavor town. *Beat* Hey when can we go to Flavor Town?
After morphing, Edith's tranquilizer gun has changed so that it's...shaped like her unmorphed self. It's so unnerving Axel and Tenaya 7 try to just leave the battle until Edith shoots at them to distract them.
Roxanne ends up stealing one of Axel's chakrams.
Instead of standing up after the battle, Criss Angel opts to instead sneak a board with ball bearings on it underneath him and propel himself so that it looks like he's floating across the ground on his back. Which becomes incredibly awkward when the Rangers begin to enter their cars.
Scott: We'll, uh...we'll drive slowly.
Marche: He's going through some stuff right now.
Doctor K explains that the Ranger Series Black powers are permanently bonded to Edith and she cannot simply take it off of her.
Edith: So I'm a nevernude now?
*pause for everyone corpsing*
Doctor K:...perhaps I made a mistake.
After Doctor K gets rude with Edith, Jo rolls to make a Dark Link with Doctor K as well.
Jo: Nat 12! I hate this bitch!
- Meanwhile, Criss Angel (still on the ground) just mutters "should've been me!"
While trying to figure out a way to defeat Venjix once and for all, the party tries to let them use the other ranger suits. Except Criss.
Criss: I've never needed a suit to fight Heartless before. I've fought Heartless with nothing on at all!
Riley tries to mimic the sound of footsteps walking down a hallway with purpose, but they end up sounding like flippers against the ground.
Jo: That sounds like Donal Duck, what you just did.
Riley: *makes Donald Duck noise* It does!
Jo: Slapper.
Riley: His feet do a slappy. Damn, he a duck and he got feet?!
While disguised as Grinder robots, Criss and Edith come across Tenaya 7, who notices something off about them.
Tenaya: Grinder! What is your operating number?
Criss:...4?
Tenaya: Hmm. That sounds right to me. *turns to leave*
Criss (out loud): No I should've said 6-6-6!
*Tenaya turns and throws Axel's other chakram at him*
While fighting Tenaya, Criss uses his magic to pull the Chakram from behind Tenaya's ear, which freaks her mind so hard she's left speechless.
After successfully destroying the Grinder factory and rescuing Dillon, Edith gets a keychain...and almost tosses it away.
Wheels: Keychains in Kingdom Hearts tend to be pretty meaningful!
Riley: It's like the "you've unlocked a new Keyblade!" kind of thing.
Hazel: Right but I don't use those—
Jo: Can you put keychains on your gun?!
Hazel: Can I put keychains. On my gun, Riley?
Riley: Hey. You should try that.
Hazel: I'm going to put this keychain. On my gun.
- And after equipping it, it turns Edith's gun into a pistol-sized version of the Edith-gun from before.
Hazel: That's pretty fucked up. That's pretty Cronenbergian.

#6: Zero District

The group sums up Criss trying to teach Marche how to drive the flying Bugatti.
Wheels: Don't forget to use your turn signal, always.
Hazel: Even when you're not turning!
While looking for a place to fuel up the car, Marche spots a sign floating in the void that just says "Next Exit: WORLD".
Criss: Turn signal! TURN SIGNAL!
- And when Marche goes to use it, it's just a dial to point in whatever direction you're heading in.
When they arrive in Traverse Town and meet Leon, he tells them that they can fill up at the Shell station.
Leon: We only use ethanol-based products here. *aside glance* Think of the environment.
Edith tells Marche that she didn't get carsick when he was driving, and they realize that it's because when Criss drives, he just jerks the steering wheel to make sure they're paying attention.
Merlin realizes that one of the newcomers to Traverse Town was a former student of Yen Sid's...and thinks it's Edith. Criss tries to tell him he's wrong, not by correcting him and saying he was the one who dropped out, but by claiming Edith is nowhere near the kind of person who could be taught by Yen Sid. Then Merlin says that Criss is the only person in the party without any raw potential, making Criss even saltier.
When Merlin invites them to his tower.
Roxanne: You really call that a tower? How embarrassing.
Merlin: Bitch, I live like this! I'm doing my best. Some of us lost quite a bit when our worlds came down.
Marche: Do we have to do really annoying platforming here or do you know a shortcut?
Merlin: Platforming? Oh no, that's just for the scrubs, please!
Once inside, Marche asks if he can use the room where you get to beat up furniture, and proceeds to make use of that during the entire scene.
- Roxanne finds the book for the Hundred Acre Wood, but repeatedly opens and closes it to make the song start playing several times.
Merlin accidentally releases data replicas of the Organization into the Hundred Acre Wood book, then decides that the party can use it for training. He then physically lifts Roxanne up, then just drops her in. Criss follows suit, and Edith goes to fetch Marche from the furniture-punching room. First she almost gets a chair thrown in her face by accident, then:
Edith: Our friends have just been sucked into a book.
Marche: Oh no.
Edith: And that's kind of a weird thing?
Marche: It's not that weird. Trust me, it happens.

#7: Lost Page

When Riley describes one of the Organization replicas as "lanky", the party can't figure out if that one is Demyx, Zexion, or Vexen.
Wheels: There are a lot of fuckin' lanky boys in that crew!
- Furthermore, Riley knows their silhouettes because he's used to hearing them being described that way by Shannon Manor in Kingdom Smarts.
- Roxanne slices said lanky boy in half with the Chakram, who responds by shouting "oh not again!"
When they find Axel, he's clinking bottles together while chanting "Roo, come out to play!"
As Edith runs through the woods screaming, Leon wonders if it's for them to follow or to get away. Soon after:
Edith: I'm trying to get across that I want you to follow meeee!
Larxene, Saix, Xemnas, and Roxas having a cookout in Rabbit's garden, with the implication that they stuffed Rabbit in a box and are sitting on it to keep him trapped.
Roxas: Should we go see what that scream was about?
Xemnas (ominously): No. The others will take care of it. We must eat our vegetables.
- Criss figures that since Nobodies don't have hearts, they can use one of their moves to summon artichoke hearts into their stew, with the hope that the program will consider it a logical inconsistency and delete them.
Riley: Hit! Them! Hit! Them! Yes! Do that! That is such bullshit, that is so fucking tasty!

#8: Fast Friends

During the introduction Hazel asks a question she's been waiting to ask since the first episode: what is an actual play podcast?
Roxanne chooses to go in shotgun instead of her usual backseat in the flying Bugatti, leaving Edith to clean up all the fast food wrappers she left in the backseat.
While flying between worlds, Criss tells Roxanne the importance of noticing tiny details all around her. Cut to outside the Bugatti, where the gas cap is clapping back and forth because Criss forgot to close it.
Upon realizing that the Bugatti is speeding up and there's another car ahead of them in space, Criss does nothing. Then they pull up to the stop sign in space, and Criss revs the engine to try and race the other car. And Edith from the backseat desperately tries to stop Criss, scrabbling and failing to roll the window up because of child locks.
Wheels jokingly asks if the portly, red-clad man with a big red mustache who was racing them is Dr. Robotnik. Then is floored when it turns out they're right.
When Sonic appears, Robotnik desperately asks the party not to engage because he's just so exhausted by him. And the Marche excitedly shouts "oh hey it's Sonic the Hedgehog!"
Sonic's pop-y baseline that plays when he's talking—but only when he's talking, causing it to awkwardly cut in an out at times.
Jory: Why does he radiate bass?
Riley: He just does!
Edith asks Marche if he knows anything about Robotnik from his world.
Robotnik: Please don't ask your terrible friend.
Edith:...I'm gonna go ahead and say that's all the more reason to ask my terrible friend, thank you very much!
Marche: He's a big scientist who makes giant robots to destroy stuff and tries to take over the world but he never does because of that pesky hedgehog.
Robotnik: Hmmm...mostly correct.
- While Edith asks Robotnik if he knows anyone who hangs around in a black cloak, Wheels excitedly asks in the background if Shadow's joined Organization XIII.
When they reenter the Bugatti, the music is stuck looping on a MIDI version of "Headstrong" by Trapt.
Riley pauses in the middle of the battle to announce that the day that they're recording is also Goofy's birthday. They all sing him happy birthday (terribly) for about three seconds before announcing that that's enough.

#9: That's What Friends are For

Hazel trying to explain what happened in the last episode, Jo comments that it sounds like a Mad Lib.
Riley points out that, through Bandai Namco, they can connect Disney to The Fast and the Furious.
- Jo and Hazel point out that Riley can't fit that into this game because they're nearing the end and have to wrap things up. Riley counters that Kingdom Hearts doesn't end, it just "screeches to a stop".
Roxanne realizes that Marche still has Luxord's cards, and tells him to use them on Larxene.
Hazel: Put! That! Bitch! In a caaaard!
When asked what the stained glass image is inside Criss Angel's heart, Wheels suggests it's Criss Angel. It's also covered in inverted crosses and black sports cars.
- David Blaine appears within Criss' heart and says "You were always so bad at focusing". Wheels needs Riley to repeat that after, because they weren't focusing the first time.
- While demonstrating the light within his heart, David Blaine ends up pushing one of the cars inside his heart off the edge of the stained glass. Even while he tries to monologue, the car alarm is still going off until it ends in a crash.
- And the entire time this has been happening, Criss was still driving and the Bugatti would've careened off a cliff had Edith not grabbed the wheel.
  - Which was a struggle since Edith a) didn't want to demonstrate leadership, b) didn't know how to drive, c) didn't want to make Criss angry, and d) was very carsick. Riley genuinely doesn't know what to have her roll.
After the fight ends and the gang is getting their bearings.
Hazel: So we have been headed for Angel Island this whole time—oh my god it's called Angel Island!
*everyone gasps in delight*
Wheels: That's why I've been here!
Criss Angel prohibits Larxene from swearing. She proceeds to call DiZ a shithead.
When someone fires on the group.
Riley: Criss Angel, what are you doing?
Wheels: Uh...I levitate?
Jo: Just reflexively?
Hazel: Criss Angel reflexively T-poses.
Wheels: Exactly! I levitate into the air a little bit but I can do it a lot better here 'cause I'm a bat and I can flap my wings if I need to.
Jo: Do you ever just forget we're in Fursonas right now?
Riley explains that just like how humans instinctively fear the dark, they also instinctively hate DiZ.
When Shadow the Hedgehog gets portalled in by Criss, Edith immediately demands to roll a mastery link with him.

#10: Friends 'Till The End

Jory asks if the Bugatti has weapons to fight the giant Nobody dragon that's chasing them. Riley suddenly realizes that he never asked that himself, and decides the Bugatti is probably loaded.
Riley: That's why he doesn't have a gun in the glove compartment, he's driving one!
Wheels: Well I do have a dove that lives in the glove compartment in case I ever need to do a magic trick.
While describing the aerial battle between the Dragon and the Bugatti, Riley mentions the car spreading chemtrails, leading to a significant tangent where the group has to explain to them that that's not the correct term, that's a conspiracy theory.
- Also:
Jo: Are you telling me he's gonna shoot me with the beam he used to destroy a moon?!
Riley: Yeah.
Jo (resigned): Alright.
When Marche and Edith decide to sacrifice the Bugatti to destroy the dragon, it tries to call Criss Angel. Unfortunately, he forgot his flip phone in Corinth.
Angel 1: Excuse me. Mr. Angel?
Dillon: Uh, no, you have the wrong number.
Angel 1: I just wanted to let him know that *cut off by explosion*
Criss saves Shadow from being knocked off a cliff by using magic to lasso him with his chain wallet.
Riley gets riled when Jo comments they wasted ten minutes of the episode describing the Bugatti's gun setup.
Riley: Wasted? Wasted? Wasted?!

#11: Adrift

"Hazel is portraying Survivor's Guilt today."
Wheels specifically wanted Riley to include Lost as a world in the game because they envisioned it as the only show Criss Angel watched other than his own.
- Then Dale shows up, and Criss tries to remember if he's a character from Lost. Even though Dale is a talking chipmunk.
- And Criss introduces himself as Dr. Jack Shephard.
Riley takes 5 to remind themselves what Sawyer's voice sounds like by watching YouTube compilations.
Riley: This is just him hitting people?
When an alarm good off and someone moves to enter the numbers into the computer...
Wheels: No, no, no, no, no, I rush in, I push whoever that—I push fuckin' John Locke off of the chair, I don't even care who it is, I don't know if it actually is John Locke, I push him off of that goddamn chair and you see the biggest smile on Criss Angel's face as he inputs 4-8-15-16-23-42 in that order and hits execute motherfucker.
- Then it turns out it wasn't John Locke, it was Steve Rogers Captain America himself.
- When Criss introduces himself as Jack again, the real Jack pipes up from the background, but Steve shuts him down.
Steve: Now Jack, don't be rude, people can have the same name.
The chat starts asking Riley to canonize Stucky, but Riley doesn't realize what the term means so they ask "Who the Hell is Stucky?". Which is rather convenient.
Riley: Also that's funny then because I said "who the Hell is Stucky". That's funny.
When Mewt realizes that he's in the same room as Criss Angel, he immediately starts fanboying. In response, Criss shows him a card enchanted to say " My friend just died. Fuck off.". Mewt doesn't know if he gets to keep the card or not.
Wheels: I'd like to make a Dark Link with Mewt Randell!
Steve Rogers trying to come up with a name for the team made of himself, Chip Dale, Mewt Randell, teen Boba Fett, and now Marche and Criss Angel. Some of the ideas he had were calling the young kids "Teen Titans" and the group as a whole "some kind of League of Justice".
One of the moves in The Displaced playbook is "This Doesn't Phase Me", but the copy that Jory is using from when it was first written has it as "Don't Phase Me Bro."
Before venturing out into the island, Criss decks himself out in as much Dharma initiative swag as he can carry.
Mewt starts hyperventilating after Marche tells him that he met Sonic the Hedgehog.
Hazel describes Edith's fatigued trudge through the woods as her making her way downtown.
Hazel: Walking at a moderate pace, faces pass, and I mean, like, in a grander sense I'm home bound.

#12: Stranger in a Strange Land

Wheels doesn't get the joke of Hazel shouting "this is the recap!" in the same way a guest artist sometimes shouts "this is the remix!" in songs.
Jo: Wheels, did you listen to any hip hop remixes in 2004?
Wheels: Um...Jo I'm real white.
During the recap Jo gets Dr Pepper up their nose from laughing. Wheels comments that they're real thirsty and wishes they had Dr Pepper up their own nose. This leads to a discussion on whether Criss likes Dr Pepper or not.
Wheels: Please, he's a Pib Extra man.
Hazel: Criss Angel doesn't trust doctors.
Jo: Rum and Coke, no rum.
Riley *through laughter*: I hate this!
Since the Castle That Never Was is placed in the same location as Jacob's hut, Riley almost exclusively refers to it as "the Hut That Never Was".
Criss is unimpressed with Steve's plan to attack the Castle That Never Was (go in there and punch them), complaining that the man should have tactics. He than asks Marche if he's familiar with tactics.
- Marche's ensuing description of leading an army to take over a continent briefly worries Steve. When Marche clarifies that technically it was all made up, Steve does a one-eighty and promotes him to field captain.
Steve Rogers: What do you think we should do?
Marche: Do you have an isometric map of the castle?
*Steve flips his shield over and starts drawing*
Riley combines the Smoke Monster with an AT-AT in the form of a Nobody, creating "the Smo-Body".
Hazel: Sounds delicious!
Criss telling the party that he's familiar with the Smoke Monster, but doesn't know how to defeat it because the show never really fleshed it out and so it has no well-defined weaknesses.
After the party reconnects with Ennora, Marche is happy that someone who looks a lot like his old friend is here now.
Jo: You're a lot like my friend who died! Wow! Let's be new friends!
Riley: I'm glad I can just replace them like that!
Jo: Went down to Gamestop, picked up a new copy!
Riley: Do they make you guys in a factory or what?
Hazel: Refurbished Roxanne.
Wheels: Or was Roxanne the refurbished Ennora? Makes you think.
After getting fed up with Captain America, Ennora punches him out and takes his shield.
The ending. Riley asks for someone to name any property. Hazel shouts out Twin Peaks. Mr. C drives into the battlefield and turns his car into a mech suit.

#13: Homecoming

The realization that Edith's appearance has never been described leads to the others describing their headcanons, followed by a request that somebody draw them all combined despite Jo, Jory, and Riley all having very different hairstyles in mind (bob, pigtails, and high ponytail). Hazel suggests three extremely small ponytails to compensate.
- Also, Wheels believes that Edith getting carsick must mean she wears glasses.
Riley asks Jory to lead the recap and is met with a groan of agony.
After a brief discussion on Yu-Gi-Oh!, Wheels bemoans how old they are. Riley points out they're the same age.
Jo: Wheels grew up getting into David Lynch films, Riley you grew up watching Power Ranges at the age of 25. It's a very different type of old.
Marche manages to cut off Mr. C's mech-mullet, which causes the whole thing to explode.
Wheels explains a whole bunch of Lost lore while also explaining the move they're trying to pull off, prompting the others to realize that Lost is basically already Kingdom Hearts even without their interference.
Jo: Most stories, if you look at them, are actually Kingdom Hearts.
Wheels: Season six of Lost is just a very bad Kingdom Hearts game.
The reveal that Criss Angel's Start of Darkness was disagreeing with David Blaine over the quality of the last season of Lost.
- It also features Riley adding in an extra scene of David Blaine and another character ("it's a Final Mix scene, don't worry") who he states is currently unvoiced ("ah, Kingdom Hearts 1 cutscene").
- And after the battle ends, Criss sends Jack Shephard into an existential crisis by saying he probably won't go on to anything great after this and calling Vantage Point uninspired.
Jack: Who are you?! You said you were me! *clutching his heart and staring at the ground* I'm me...
Larxene bursts onto the island to kill Mr. C, but she came so quickly she's still a hedgehog when she does it.
- She then disses Criss' car, and after he says that he's grown beyond being hurt by such insults he reiterates that it's also super-busted.
Larxene: I think that can hurt you, I don't know if it's doing it but I'm gonna keep saying it until it does.
Trying to determine if Larxene is truly on their side.
Edith: Sister, be straight with me for a second, what is your relationship to Diz?
Ennora: Larxene has never been straight!

#14:...and Found

When Hazel points out that Edith is effectively no one in the Kingdom Hearts franchise.
Jo: Ok so, what, Criss Angel is somehow incredibly relevant in specifically the Kingdom Hearts mythos—
Criss: I agree I am incredibly relevant, that's a perfect way to put it.
Previously on Interstitial: we killed Kyle Maclachlan! The person!
- Hazel read the Lost wiki during the previous episode and it cleared up nothing.
When she officially joins the party, Larxene gives Criss a Sonic keychain. He tries it out, then immediately removes it because it clashes with the rest of his aesthetic.
At one point Riley pronounces Mewt as "Moot".
Ennora trying to elaborate on what's going on with her mentally:
Ennora: My memory's kind of fuzzy—like most of me—
After Criss realizes he doesn't need to save David on his own, he turns to the party.
Criss: Hey everyone.
Edith: Yeah?
Marche: What?
Criss: Do you wanna go save my magician ex-boyfriend who's maybe just a figment if my imagination?
Marche: Hell! Yes!
Edith: Oh god I've been waiting for you to ask this whole time!
- And then Larxene is stuck sitting on the stairs before the final boss until they finish any unfinished business, like saving David Blaine.
Upon seeing the door to David's cell is locked, Ennora and Criss are ready to give up until Marche points out their two giant keys.
David Blaine is defended by Ultima from Final Fantasy Tactics. Marche isn't very familiar because he's from Tactics Advance, and the version he fought was just a bunch of crystals.
- Despite several pluses from the other party members, Criss only gets a six on a roll to get to David.
- Edith tried to get a mastery link with Ultima because she thinks she's neat.
When Riley describes David being restrained in a straight jacket.
Hazel: And he's being lowered into a big pool of water! His greatest escape yet!
When he's rescued, David and Criss make explicitly gay eye contact.
- And before removing David's gag, Criss make sure to tell him that season 6 of Lost is very good.

#15: Shape of Things to Come

After confirming that David was strapped into the Intercision device from The Golden Compass, Riley argues how good the book is while Hazel and Jo call it edgy and lame and not as good as when Naruto did the same plot.
Criss states he's going to refer to David as his ex-boyfriend until the latter admits that Lost season 6 is great. David responds by chucking the box of Cheez-its he magically summed for Marche at Criss' head.
David is impressed that Marche was allowed to drive the Bugatti, since he never did. Marche snidely states that David never will, since it's destroyed.
While bragging about his friends, Criss accidentally tells Edith that her world no longer exists, sending her into a downward spiral.
David: Edith, everyone you know and love has probably been dead for a very long time, you don't need to worry about it. *to Criss* Please tell me about the dog-person.
- Criss also gives impressive images of two and then implies the most interesting thing about Marche is that he can drive a car.
The D in DiZ stands for "Dick". "Dick in Zero" because he never gets any.
Asking David to save the other survivors on the island as it falls apart.
David: Luckily, I didn't lose my car. Call me, I'll be back—
Edith: Wait wait wait wait, DiZ let David park his car outside?!
*a Dodge Charger smashes through the castle wall*
When coming across the full organization, one of the new members turns out to be Gadget. Which leads to Riley trying to force an x into the name. They come up with Gadxget. The x is silent.
Criss' Shut Up, Hannibal! moment against Remedy takes a turn at the end.
Remedy: Once the worlds are closed off everything will work out. Everyone will go back. That is what Xemnas has been helping us achieve.
Criss: But it's so boooring! *deep sigh* Everyone lives their little closed-off lives, no one meets anyone interesting, no one helps each other.
Edith: No one's around for him to autograph.
Criss: I have a much smaller demographic this way!
Luxord tried to show off his card skills, but forgets that Marche still has his deck. Marche then taunts him with it.
After hearing DiZ's evil plan.
Edith: You said that's if we agree—what happens if we don't?
*Xigbar pulls out a gun*
Edith: Valid.
Tagdegx trying to argue her own nonexistence to Edith while standing right in front of her, going off very tenuous logic.
Tagdegx: Have any of your friends had exxy—exisht—existential crises?
Edith: Abso-fucking-lutely! Marche just had one! Have you even been paying attention?
Jo uses several moves in succession to combo out, and realizes it sounds like a Yu-Gi-Oh! move.
After the party is able to completely thwart DiZ's plan and fire beams of their own light through Kingdom Hearts, they land back in the salt flats.
Criss: Hey does anyone know what we just did? Because I sure don't.
As the finale music plays:
Hazel: And then we see a bunch of holes and the salt flat is actually the camp from Holes.
Riley: And out of one of the holes climbs Goku!
Hazel: Bugs Bunny!
Riley: Michael Jordan is there!
Hazel: It's Bugs Bunny, Michael Jordan, Luigi, Mario, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Tails, and it's Tails gets Trolled!
Riley: Jeb Bush!
Hazel: Ted Cruz!
Jo: All my favourite friends from all my favourite properties! Bring it in guys!
Riley: Now everyone can freely travel between any and all worlds. We see Sonic eating a chili dog when Mickey Mouse and Doc Brown and Mario pull up in the time-train. Troy Bolton smiles at a skateboard he hangs in his locker, then looks down the hall and sees Bugs Bunny calling to save Toon Town in a new Space Jam. Shattered Grid happened and everyone died.

Door to Darkness

A Touch of Evil

Riley continuously making fun of Homura, and Madoka as a whole.
Riley: Homer Simpson Akemi, whomst?
Riley: Now is Madoka a friend of Rachel and Phoebe?
Riley: Tetsuya Homer-a.
Jo: That was the working title for Dream Drop Distance.
- Then they call Shego a woman's heavyweight champion, and suggest that Shego and Lapis Lazuli work together to break X-23's back to take the championship from her in Hell in a Cell.
Homura takes a mastery link with Jughead because she wants to know why he wears that hat all the time.
Ty experiences absolute joy over reading Shego's lovingly-written Wikipedia article.
"I need you to find a Princess of Heart. His name is Archie Andrews."
When Jughead asks Homura what she means by "another timeline", she panics and attacks him. When that fails, Shego does the same thing.
- The Southside Serpents are replaced by the Tunnel Snakes, who fully accept the excuse "he fell" as to why Jughead is beaten up.
Homura is so nervous while riding a motorcycle that she wears two helmets at once.
While chasing Shego and Homura, Betty pulls out a gun because "you gotta escalate the situation in a stupid way in Riverdale."
Riley does an NPR voice at the beginning of the second episode, dubbing the podcast "ASMRterstitial".
Ty: And then the Kingdom Hearts fight music plays and it just says "fighting Ira Glass".

Reality and Other Falsehoods #1

When Jo casually announces that one of the bosses must be Bam Margera, Wheels playfully tells them it takes the fun out of it when he just states them instead of him getting to reveal "Emperor Bam Margera Septum".
Owen and Tony have Mastery links with each other because they both think they're teaching the other one how to skate. Papyrus has Mastery with both because he doesn't know shit.
Owen Wilson has a Heart link with Chester Cheetah.
After Azrael defeats the Gray Prince in the Arena.
Tony: Is that something that happens around here? Are you okay?
Papyrus: No!
Tony: To which one?
Papyrus: Both! Everything is bad right now!
When the remaining player characters make their way backstage to speak with Azrael, Owen tells him he's there for his autograph.
The horrifying imagery of Perfect Cell with the combined powers of Shrek and Wes Anderson.
Papyrus and Owen get into a dibs fight over the amulet of Kings for no reason other than they're greedy
Lord Dagon: My rightful place on Nurn, it is coming soon. But taking the Amulet of Kings now will be worthless until you extinguish the dragon fires.
Riley: Whomst?
Papyrus: What are the dragon fires?
Lord Dagon: Read the lore. There's books everywhere.
Papyrus: I've only read The Lusty Argonian Maid!
Lord Dagon: You know these casual players just roll through the game, killing ceaselessly, always playing stealth archers, but there's actually a lot of lore if you really dig into it.
** And since no one else knows what's going on, it seems like Papyrus is just yelling about The Lusty Argonian Maid in the middle of a battle.
After everything goes even more Off the Rails ( Cell absorbing several characters, Owen Wilson shooting him with a gun, Papyrus T-Posing to levitate up to the Piccolo-Chester Cheetah combination), the cherry on top is the declaration that everything took place inside the mind of Tommy Westfall.

A Rush of Sugar to the Head

Morton Koopa has a Light Link with Dark Link, because pun.
Logan and Chris are able to do incredibly on-point voices for their characters.
King Candy makes his links based on other character's height. Morton is fine, but Cinder and Azula are too tall.
Nora trying to explain Qrow Branwen to the party.
Nora: He also uses a scythe, but his turns into a sword. Also he can turn into a bird.
Logan: And that bird can turn into a scythe!
Nora: His scythe can turn into a sword which is how he usually uses it, and it can also turn into a shotgun—
Logan: And that shotgun fires scythes!
Livi: Which then turn into birds!
Riley's reaction to Cinder and Azula's vehicles in Sugar Rush (a Griffin Grimm and tank, respectively).
Riley: It's like everyone trying to out-extra the other!
Azula asking Cinder who she is becomes this when Riley reminds everyone that they already work together, and Azula's just a dick.
While everyone debates on how best to capture Vanellope, Morton just walks over and grabs her.
Vanellope later headbutts him to get away, leaving Morton to deal with Ralph while the others chase after her. Soon after, Morton enters covered in Ralph's blood.
King Candy: Morton! My boy!
Morton: Yo wassup!
King Candy: Let me get some wet ones in here, give me a second.
Morton: Oh wow, they don't just turn into coins here?
King Candy: They usually just get reset to the track. He must not have been from around here.
Vanellope: Oh god! He was the Princess of Heart!
Chris (breaking character): What?
Vanellope: Ralph was the Princess of Heart.
*everyone laughs*
Chris: Oh...yeah. Okay.
While fighting Luke Skywalker, King Candy knocks his lightsaber into a pool of boiling Diet Coke.
King Candy: I hope that wasn't important or hard to make!
Luke: It was both of those things!
King Candy: Look, stop complaining. At least I didn't have Morton Koopa crush your fucking skull in.
- And then Luke gets fucking incinerated by Cinder.
As the villains leave the world they reflect on their surprisingly high body count.
King Candy: To think I wasted all this time carting when I could've been murdering!
Riley: Sorry that I killed Wreck-it-Ralph!
Nora: I'm not sorry that I killed Luke Skywalker!
Livi: I'm sorry I didn't kill anyone.
Logan (Morton voice): Bye!

Lonely Hearts

Jo has to pause exposition to remind themself of what Yen Sid sounds like. The other two describe it as "deeper than you think" and "more DiZ-y".
Wheels accidentally uses the Criss Angel voice. Then experiments with accents. "Do I have a southern?" Then: "which is funny because Bonnie Tyler is Welsh".
Riley chanting "whomst" while Jo tries to drop a pic of Party Poison into the discord.
- During preparation, Jo realized the big bad of Danger Days is basically Xehanort.
- Riley listing off Party Poison's other names, one of which is "Daddy". Jo states that those sound fake but he'll definitely respond to them.

2 Family 2 Furious

The very first line of the episode description is "yEeEeEeEeEeSsSsSsSs"
Jory has to confirm that Wheels is playing the historical Amelia, not the one from Night at the Museum 2.
- Amelia takes a heart link with Frieda Kahlo. They've never met, but they have the same energy.
Brian drives a Mitsu-key-shi Eclipse
When the party finds a cave containing piled-up office furniture and a giraffe, Jo wonders if it's the remains of the Toys R Us shutdown.
Jory trying to explain Matt Hardy's weird-as-hell backstory to Wheels, who knows absolutely nothing about the topic.
Brian: I stopped watching wrestling after the nineties.
Caesar: What are the nineties?
- Then Jo points out that considering what Caesar's seen, wrestlers are probably pretty normal.
Wheels: What's the opposite of a Heart Link, where I encounter someone and understand my world less?
Dom Toretto got Norted. Dominort!
During the battle with a Norted Bray Wyatt, Lucky Lindy, Dom Toeretto, and Lisa Lisa, Amelia Earhart reveals herself to be an airbender.
Jo: YEAH WE GONNA CHECK IN THE HISTORY BOOKS WHETHER AMELIA WAS LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED FOR HER AIR MAGIC
The party realizes that one NPC hasn't done much,
Wheels: When does Problem Sleuth pull his fuckin' weight?
Chris: There have been several problems!
Jo: None of which have been sleuthed!
- Turns out he ate candy and is off in an imaginary world thinking he's helping.
Chris explaining his "Dual Identity" move.
Chris: "You have someone or something special linked to you to help you surpass your limits", and what I imagine what Brian's something special that helps him surpass his limits is...Nos.
- He injects it into his veins!
- Nos cures Norting!

Season 2: Authority

#1: Graveyard of Identities

Wheels needs a framing device to introduce the players because they have no chill. Not only that, but said framing device is the ghosts of the characters being featured in an episode of Ghost Adventures.
Wheels: You see a man accompanied by two individuals who, you could describe them as you assume thy co-own a vape shop together. The man looks like your college roommate who lifts weights and when he tells you he had a goth phase he shows you a picture and it’s just him in a black tank top. It's Zak Bagans, Nick Groff, and Aaron Goodwin from Ghost Adventures.
Ty: Goddammit.
The first thing Sans says is a knock-knock joke.
Sans: Knock knock.
Zak: Who's there?
Sans: Howl.
Zak: Howl who?
Sans: How'll you know if you don’t answer the door? Hehehehehe!
Ty begins describing the room that Catwoman is in.
Ty: Have you ever played Heavy Rain, and there's a—
Logan: Shaun!
- Catwoman sneaks up behind Zak to spook him.
Catwoman: Ever heard of knocking, tall, dark, and stupid?
Zak (later, in the confessional): When I was in this room I felt a cold presence on the back of my shoulder. When I turned I saw an apparition of a woman who appeared and said the most terrifying thing—so terrifying I can't repeat it on television.
- Riley gets extremely excited when they ask if Catwoman's cat familiar is Salem from Sabrina, and becomes even more gleeful when Ty confirms that it is.
The first thing seen in Cena's room is a barbell with 420 lbs on either side.
Riley: Combining to make 840, the stoniest number.
- Old Man John Cena is 60, which Riley describes as "unbelievably old".
- Also, just...the entire set-up of Old Man John Cena.
Riley: In the not-so-distant future, Vince McMahon has destroyed the world.
Jo: Vince McMahon, who I like to call, the Time Validator.
Riley: Vince McMahon shedding one of his many human skins, if you can call it that, is now a giant gas cloud with his face and his terrible veiny skin wrapped around it. Now, Cena has come back from that world.
- Wheels asks if this is John Cena and not someone using his name. Riley confirms that he's not just someone who took up the name to do his mentor proud, but that's a good plot thread and they might pick that up later.
- When explaining the concept of Cena always being hunted by Vine.
Wheels: And to be clear, that detail is just for this character, it’s not always Vince McMahon who is hunting The Hunted.
Ty: No it is canonically always Vince McMahon!
Logan: It kind of is always Vince McMahon if you think about it.
- Riley explains that suggested characters are Lup and Barry Bluejeans, Ben Kenobi, and...Guy Fieri?
Ty: No he's going to all those Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives because he's being hunted!
When Zak enters Atticus' room and sees that it appears bigger on the inside, he claims that this is the first time a piece of media has ever suggested such a thing.
- Zak claims he's been completely restrained by Atticus, and the camera pans to Atticus standing in the corner doing nothing but moping.
Sans tries another knock knock joke.
Sans: Hey I know I already did the thing but just one more time. Knock knock!
Zak: Who's there?
Sans: Cow says. I mean—wait, fuck, I messed it up again! Ghost says.
Zak: Cow says wait I fucked it up—
Sans: No! No, oh no. Ghost says Boo! I should've done that one first.
Zak tries to talk to Cena and gets an attitude adjustment through a table. That gets edited out of the Ghost Adventures episode, but in reality he cries about it.
Logan describing how the playthrough that this Sans comes from effected his outlook on things.
Wheels: General spoilers for Undertale.
Riley: And John Cena's many title reigns.
Jo: Spoilers for the real world in about thirty years.
- Sans generally doesn't trust humans, but he also doesn’t see John Cena as human because he's a cyborg.
Sans: I used to have skin. Everybody has flaws!
As they prepare to visit the next world, Wheels points out that everything was suggested by the players and they have no one to blame but themselves.

#2: X's on Trees

Wheels: This ship runs on smiles, I have no idea where this ship is going.

Everyone in the party is assigned seats next to each other in a five-person—well, a four-person-one cat ship. There is a cat sized seat.
Jo compares Wheels' attempt to make the foley noise of a giant tube breaking and the ship flying into space is compared to Donald Duck noises.
Everyone in the Transformers world looks familiar. As in, they all look the same. The world is populated by scores upon scores of identical Mark Wahlbergs and Megan Foxes.
Upon landing, everyone finds that they have a switch on their backs. Old Man John Cena finds the one on Sans and flips it down.
Wheels: You know how like, there's those PSAs of like, "your body is changing, these times are difficult". You feel that all at once because your body is changing. Into a vehicle.
- When Riley freaks out at the prospect of flesh-and-blood (or bone in Sans' case) beings turning into vehicles, Jo tells them that they're just digivolving.
While searching for Salem's switch, Cailtin confirms that he is 100% a puppet cat.
- While Salem becomes a sidecar for Selina's motorcycle form, Wheels was going to suggest a Roomba.
Old Man John Cena becomes a John Deer tractor.
Riley: John's face? Does. Not. Change. It is the hood. It is just a big human face on the front of this vehicle Thomas the Tank Engine-Style.
Ty: Riley no that's so evil!
- His horn plays the theme.
Logan: I wonder how many times we're gonna make that joke on this podcast.
Riley: It's a good joke every time!
- Then Riley says he should've become an Apache helicopter instead because that's what happens in his theme song.
Wheels: WHAT?!
When Sans offers to play music for Atticus, Atticus asks if there's an Aux cord. Then he sees it and it's just a chain of bones ending in a pinky. That's still wiggling. Atticus declines.
After Wheels says "Autobots, roll in!" when the group pull into a garage, Logan asks if he has to be an Autobot.
Sans: I'm a Go-Bot, fuck all this!
There's a Mark Wahlberg in the garage, which also has plenty of framed photos of his family. Which are all Shia LaBeouf. Who now only exists in the form of framed photos.
All Mark's friends are coming over: Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, and Mark. Everyone tries to guess which movies they're all from.
Jo: Marky Mark is there, he's got the whole funky bunch!
- Also, whenever they reply to the first Mark, all the other Marks speak in unison.
Old Man John Cena feels a little down after hearing Mark talk to his Mark friends, because he misses his own friends.
Selina: Are all of your friends also you, John Cena?
Riley gets a heart link with Mark and asks if they should write it down as Mark Prime.
Wheels: I mean that means something different in this universe—
Jo: Markimus Prime!
Riley: I'm putting down Markimus Prime!
- Ty wants a heart link with him because Selina's into big, dumb, guys and Mark's presence is hitting her hard.
Once the garage comes under siege by the Megatrons.
Old Man John Cena: Why would they wanna kill us? We're fine people here.
*explosion*
Old Man John Cena: That was probably one of your Mark friends out there. They're a wild bunch!
Mark 2: I'm bleeding! I'm not gonna be able to watch the game!
There are Megatrons from reboots that don't even exist. There's a Megatron with a Washington Generals' uniform to fight against Globetrotters Autobots. One's just a toy. And upon seeing the army coming for them, Cena quietly backs back into the garage while casually saying "beep. beep."
They prepare to retreat and try to figure out who's sitting where.
Jo: I've already been in Ty's sidecar once on this show!
Ty: That's true, that is true!
Wheels: Why not make it twice? Second time's the charm.
Ty: Jo it's about branding.
Cena, while in tractor mode, uses his little blades to Weekend at Bernie's Starscream in order to sick the Megatrons on Mark.
Sans: Are you trying to kill our new friend Markimus Prime?
Old Man John Cena: I'm not. It was Starscream.
Atticus tries to create an ice shield, but Wheels mishears it as "a nice shield". Then when Jo fails the roll, Atticus slips up in the arcane tongue and does in fact make a nice shield. It's nice looking and gentle and completely useless.
As the team continues to flee, they come across a bridge covered in fire trucks and semis...
Wheels: And they all start turning into various Optimus Primes.
Logan: Optimuses Prime?
Ty: Optimii.
Wheels: Please, Opti-Missus Prime is my mother.

#3: Smooth Seas Don't Make Good Sailors

The episode's introductions end with Wheels listing off all the various Megatrons, Mark Wahlbergs, and Optimus Primes they're portraying.
- When Ty heard "Optimus Primal", they thought of a weird, shitty Far Cry game. Wheels says she's not too far off from what Beast Wars was.
Jo: You get to pet the transformers!
Old Man John Cena tries to just leave after seeing the Megatrons distracted by the Optimuses.
Atticus: You can't just drive away from all your problems!
Old Man John Cena: Vroom vroom.
- Sans comments that there's not really anywhere else to go if they drive away since it's just a white desert as far as the eye can see. Wheels corrects him, saying it's orange and teal.
When the group finally decides to return to the fight they come across the Optimuses (Optimii?) all trying to monologue simultaneously while also fighting off the Megatrons.
Selina uses "Silent Speech", which lets her extend her telepathic link with Salem to the whole party for the duration, and the group interprets that as everyone being on the same ham radio frequency. Then they realize that now they all need trucker nicknames.
Sans: 10-4 This is "Bone Buddy"!
Old Man John Cena: My trucker name is "Big Truck Fuck 'em Up".
Once Atticus transforms directly into robot mode.
Wheels: How many belts are on this giant robot?
Jo: Not enough.
Riley: It's steampunk!
Jo: No, that's a different era of my youth!
After they beat the Megatrons, all the Optimii try to thank them at once with long-winded monologues and keep talking over each other.
An Optimus: Stop! Stop! We need to do this one at a time! I have the talking stick!
Riley: It's a Megatron arm!
- When that Optimus asks how they can repay the party for their help, Selina asks if any of them know anything about spaceships.
Optimus: I kind of...am one?
A majestic spaceship shaped like Winged Victory of Samothrace descends from the heavens to retrieve the party. The ship opens up and out descends a hooded figure in a white robe. She takes off her hood and it's... Oprah Winfrey?!
Jo: Which Oprah Winfrey?
Wheels: What do you mean, which Oprah Winfrey?
Jo: What era of Oprah?
Ty: Yeah is it young Oprah? Is it reporter Oprah?
Logan: What's her hair like?
Ty: Is it Oprah at her peak?
Wheels: 2004.
Logan: 2004 is a peak, there. *Beat* Though I don't think Oprah has peaked yet, let's be real.
Selina is miffed that Oprah didn’t make a "you get a world, you get a world" joke. Then Oprah glances at a pile of gift-wrapped boxes with keys to new worlds off to the side and mutters that she'll have to save that reveal for later.

#4: The Dissentience

During the fight against Oprah.
Riley: I wanna roll a deep dive.
Jo: John Cena does something smart!
Riley: Actually fuck that.
One of the Optimii tries to join in the fight but end up tripping and falling into the spaceship.
After viewing the alternate timelines, Sans describes Anakin as "some idiot with a rat-tail".
When Oprah reiterates that she doesn't know anyone named Atticus, Old Man John Cena tries to throw Optimus at her.
Jo: Somewhere out there in the Drake & Josh world Josh is like "I feel like Oprah was hit by a car".
Sans: Bye Optimus I love you!
Ty requests that Catwoman's trucker name be "Pussy Galore".
During a mental communication (in the form of psychic ham radios), Old Man John Cena and Sans both sound like they're speaking through radios and Catwoman sounds normal. Sans stops to tell her that she should mentally imagine herself holding a hand in front of her mouth in order to mimic the filter.
Sans answers a phone that pops out of the ship's console (after losing the nose game).
Voice: Who is—who is this? Where is Agent Winfrey?
Sans: Uh...Atch.
Voice:...what?
Sans: This is Atch.
Voice: Who’s "Atch"?
Sans: Mmm, you’re not—you're really not playing in this space with me right now.
Voice: Atch who?
Sans: Gesundheit friend! *hangs up*

#5: Puzzle Box

Everyone has to stop Old Man John Cena from putting on a spacesuit and trying to punch the enemy spaceship.
- The Spacesuit looks like the Statue David, and is also made of marblesque fabric. Also, the front zipper is surprisingly visceral.
Ty: This is some Silence of the Lambs shit!
- Atticus ends swinging the ship around to fling Old Man John Cena towards the world.
Old Man John Cena has a vision of Vince McMahon terrorizing other worlds and multiplying. When Riley asks if the cloud makes eye contact with Old Man John Cena, Wheels has to ask if it has eyes, or even a face. Jo suggests it's a really cute face, like Kirby.
The solution to getting out of the endless loop in the Black Forest (that Sans looked up on GameFAQS) involves squeezing honey out of a honeycomb, sticking gems in there, and trapping the greedy gnome who appears to steal them to get the answer from him.
Atticus calls King Graham a twunk.
Ty: You know, twink, tank, twunk.
Wheels decrying the fact that once again the group guessed their big reveal when they joke about the wizard Crispinophur being renamed "Crispin Glover". Ty suggests replacing the wizard with "Krispy Kreme" instead.

#6: The Revanchist

After Wheels points out that this episode is being recorded in the morning (and everyone is tired), Riley declares "Welcome to Bed, Bath, and Interstitial!". Then Jo points out that they are the only two who are even close to morning people.
Catwoman doesn't know Bruce is Batman, but she has suspicions. Ty asks if Bruce is wearing a utility belt, since that'd be the clincher.
When the group (other than Catwoman) enters the wizard's hut.
Riley: We haven't been introduced to the hut yet, have we?
Logan: Yeah what's the hut's name?
- They then suggest naming it Carl, Jabba, or Krispy Kreme (complete with all 2017 Power Rangers), then combine the last two into a hulking mass of doughnuts to act as the wizard Krispin Kreme. He offers the group eclairs and Ty is terrified that he's feeding his own kind to them.
Old Man John Cena: Do you have any glazed doughnuts?
Krispin Kreme: We don't speak of glazed here...
- Cut to Old Man John Cena looking through the pantry inspecting every doughnut to find one he likes. Also, he was asking about Bavarian cream-filled doughnuts.
Krispin states that Master Wayne called the party "naughty", prompting Sans to ask if he's Doughnut Santa. He replies sometimes. Then Old Man John Cena adds that Santa died in the ring in the WWE canon.
Because Catwoman was technically siding with Oprah back on the Transformer's world, Bruce considers her an ally. And the rest of the party start joking that she’s been a cop the whole time.
Bruce asks if Catwoman is willing to divulge the location of the Samothrace ship.
Catwoman: I like having my back scratched, if you know what I mean.
Bruce: Oh, I've got cat-scratch fever!
Ty: oooh fffuck
Jo: I don't even know what that means!
After Bruce's speech, Catwoman agrees to fight the authority with the rest...and also asks if there's a doughnut with them. And then asks them to not feed Salem too much, only to be told that Old Man John Cena has been feeding him hand to mouth the entire time and now Salem's doing the pout.
Krispin Kreme implies that if they come back to the world later, he might be replaced by Doc Brown.
Ty: Why does this doughnut have fuckin' knowledge of Back to the Future?
Krispin: I have a long and mysterious backstory that will be explored in Interstitial: Birth By Doughnut. *Beat* Bakery By Sleep.
The crew starts planning their next move. Old Man John Cena wants to spear Bruce Wayne through the walls of the hut, but Atticus suggests "being smart for once".
When Catwoman brings up the rumours about Bruce, he counters that he certainly doesn't have any reason to be out and about at night.
Sans: Hey is that Batman?
Old Man John Cena: Sans, get away from the window!
The wizard Krispin Kreme helps Sans regain encouragement after telling him that the timeline he's in is the only one where he dies.
Sans: I was just gonna say you’re cool...I'm sorry I'm not funny enough right now oh god!
Krispin: Cool as ice...ing? Oh ho ho ho!
Sans: Okay that's pretty good! Yeah! Great job!
Ty: So bad...
Sans: Doughnut come in here...y'know like you can hang it on a door...
Krispin: Doughnut hesitate to return!
Sans: Doughnut forget to write!
Krispin: It's been a Turkish delight!
Sans: I've never met a crueller person...I'm sorry that was mean.
Atticus: COME ON! God!
- Catwoman has her head in her hands the whole time because she keeps hearing all the puns. When Wheels asks if she likes puns, Ty points out that it's only cat puns.

#7: Hide In Your Shell

Wheels explains how they're going to set up scenes between the characters, and asks if anyone has any ideas how things will develop. This comes on the heels of Old Man John Cena telling Sans that he killed the monsters in his playthrough of Undertale.
Logan: I got both of mine ready!
Riley: You ever immediately start sweating?
Old Man John Cena runs deeper into the ship to hide from Sans, and finds Salem in a nursery full of blankets with Damien's name on them.
Old Man John Cena: How did you get this deep in the ship this fast?
Salem: I'm a cat, John. I don't know what you want me to say.
Riley:...laugh track plays?
*scattered awkward laughter*
After Salem explains to Old Man John Cena that he and Selina can share their thoughts and feelings if they're willing.
Old Man John Cena: You really are connected to Selina.
Salem: I'm her soul, man.
Wheels: I'm a soouul maaaan!
Jo: I was holding back!
Wheels: Why? What podcast do you think you're on?
- Salem asks for tuna. Instead of going to the kitchen, Old Man John Cena finds a room intended for Selina and that's full of cat food and paraphernalia.
- After bonding with each other over their shared loneliness, Salem and Old Man John Cena cheer themselves up by cutting wrestling promos with each other.
Old Man John Cena tries to tell Sans about the four Undertale sequels, one of which has Sans running for mayor. Sans of course only knows about his game, but he has watched several Let's Plays of it.
Old Man John Cena: Austin and Zack both did Let's Plays, did you watch those ones?
Sans: Man, I can't remember YouTubers.
Old Man John Cena: No those are other wrestlers killed by the vicious gas cloud Vince McMahon.

#8 Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet

Logan stumbles through his introduction, stating that Sans' name can really be whatever you want it to be and suggesting that next time he should play Sans playing himself.
Riley introduces Wheels as "My good friend Qhueels", causing everyone to lose it.
Ty explains that last episode had emotions, which is weird for Interstitial.
Ty: There's no feelings in this game.
Riley: It's all about that crunch bay-bey!
Ty: That crunchy, crunchy granola.
Because of the way Wheels described the Nexus the last episode (wearing a hat and sitting in a green velvet chair), Ty describes him as The Riddler. Wheels declares that now that his name has been spoken, he has to appear.
When talking to the voice over the phone.
Voice: Hell, is this John Cena?
Atticus: Yes.
Voice: *Beat* Oh. Great!
After actual Old Man John Cena picks up the call, the voice asks how many Johns they have over there. Old Man John Cena declares that they're all John on the ship.
When the voice introduces themselves as Steve from the Nexus, Old Man John Cena mutes the call, bids everyone a fond farewell, and prepares to launch himself into space.
- And when Old Man John Cena comes back to the call.
Steve: Which John am I talking to now?
Old Man John Cena: This is the John Cena. The Champion.
Sans: John, they handed you a knock-knock joke and you—ugh.
Old Man John Cena (aside): Sans, a moment please!
Selina: Also missed a good "cat's got his tongue" joke but it’s fine.
Old Man John Cena (aside): Selina.
*Sans and Selina high-five*
When Old Man John Cena talks about going after The Nexus with his friends and failing, Sans tells him he probably lost because his friends didn't include a skeleton man and a cat person.
- Old Man John Cena then explains that he and his allies did a survivor series with the forces of The Nexus and he was the only one left alive. The others interpret that as him winning. When he explains it's because everyone on his side perished and he couldn't beat any of The Nexus, Selina still counts that as a win.
Determining how to split the party in case things go wrong.
Selina: Atticus, you should go with him. Two Johns, you know?
Sans: Us two Johns will stay back here.
Old Man John Cena: That’s exactly what John Morrison, John Lasseter, and John Fogerty all said!
At Ty's suggestion, The Nexus ship is a Steven Universe arm-ship.
Atticus: We're gonna catch these hands.
As Old Man John Cena begins to panic at the prospect of meeting with The Nexus again.
Atticus: Hey John. Hey John. Have you ever heard of a concept called "kayfabe"?
Old Man John Cena: What?
Atticus: Kayfabe? It's where you pretend a thing consistently? I want you to do that. I want you to pretend that this is good, and you wanna do this, and we'll call it "staying in kayfabe".
Old Man John Cena: No I don't understand...
Atticus: That's alright. Have you ever played a role-playing game?
Old Man John Cena: I mean...Undertale?
- Then they try to figure out a stage-name for Old Man John Cena, going through Riley Hopkins, Johns Hopkins, and finally John Riley Hopkins. When Wheels points out that The Nexus would know it's John, they counter that the stage name is just for Old Man John Cena's self esteem.
- Speaking of, Selina trying to motivate him.
Selina: John Riley Hopkins is not afraid of The Nexus, and will not fuck this up for us.
They reestablish the psychic channel via Salem and immediately hear Sans' thoughts, which is just the Benny Hill theme on a loop.
When they meet Steve (and discover that he's from Blue's Clues) Wheels confirms that while he is part of The Nexus, Blue is just along for the ride.
Logan: Okay, good. She's way too powerful.
- Wheels agrees, and compares her to an an ultra-powerful boss.
Steve plays the infomercial for The Nexus, and it really is that: a cheerful narration describing themselves as a band of friendly misfits from across dimensions who oppose The Authority and harvest what they need from dying worlds without regard for the wellbeing of those who live there. And all of this over footage of the Vince McMahon cloud ravaging worlds and killing thousands.
Selina floats the possibility that aligning with The Nexus might not be the worst thing since they're also enemies of The Authority. Everyone immediately vetoes that.
Riley: Centrist cat has logged on.
Ty: Selina's not a cop! She's just selfish!

#9: Knock Knock

The party try to get Salem to do the ham radio bit, and Salem complains that he doesn't have hands.
"Duel of the Fates", as sung by Blue.
Old Man John Cena is pretty set on destroying the Nexus members they've found, but Sans suggests they just need a time out. Atticus suggests they fix things with therapy.
While Wheels sets the scene, they get distracted by the chat debating the spelling of "foyer".
When they meet Agatha.
Agatha: What brings you to my beautiful home?
Atticus: Art theft.
*Old Man John Cena slams a hand over Atticus' mouth*
Atticus: *muffled* Art theft! Art theft! Art theft!
- Catwoman claims he's saying "art def", and Agatha asks if she's referring to that "def jam" she keeps hearing about.
Old Man John Cena takes to calling The Riddler "Mr. Gamer".
Sans makes a "See deez nuts" joke and attempts to kill Marty with a pair of cds.

#10: Fugitive

Marty McFly laughs at Sans' joke before falling into the fireplace and dying.
After finally making a truce with The Nexus, Old Man John Cena states his intent to die anyways during the fight, prompting Marty to call him "the saddest human being I've ever seen".
The Riddler officially rebrands himself as "The Gamer".
Jo: Game me this Batman!
Selina and Atticus try to have a heart-to-heart before the battle.
Aticus: I know you don't believe in friendship.
Selina: It's not that I don't believe in it, I just, y'know, friendships should be useful.
Aticus: Mmm. Agree to disagree ma'am.
Selina: Ma'am? You don't get to have a wife and then ma'am me. That's not how this works.
Aticus: I did. I ma'am'd you. What are you, like, forty?
Selina: Oof.
Aticus: See how's it fuckin' feel?!
* Old Man John Cena cuts a promo to send to Vince, and it's awesome - and hilarious.
- When he name-drops Sans and Atticus, the two start flexing even though they don't have any muscles (since Sans is a skeleton and Atticus is an anime character).
- He points to Salem, who's just licking himself.
- Selina complains about the color scheme of John's t-shirt and hat.

#12: Lay Your Ghosts to Rest

Sans finds another version of himself, who wrote down what he needs to tell him. He didn't get everything written down properly though, so instead he just replays the conversation Sans had with Krispin.
Catwoman asks Old Man John Cena if there are any items that could help him be strong enough to throw a house at Vince. He asks her if she has any "You Cat See Me" merch, and of course she's loaded. Sans locks his light link with her because of it.
Selina forms a Light link with Old Man John Cena - maybe.
Ty: I guess that's a light link? Because I'm happy that he - I don't know what else it would be. What is the feeling of "I did a thing for you and you didn't fuck it up so I feel positively towards you"?
Riley: Most people would call that "friendship and affection" but Selina, you do you!

#13: Points of Authority

Jo reiterates that their character isn't from an existing property, but Riley counters that they initially said Atticus was used in roleplay.
Jo: Yeah when I was in middle school! I don't even think the two people I roleplayed with are gonna fuckin' listen to this shit!
Ty: You may know them from fuckin'...chat forums twelve years ago!
Riley: Brayden, Jayden from Pro Boards 34, you might remember Atticus *pause for laughter* from the AskZelda.ProBoards.com!
Jo: Hyrule.net!
Jo tries to remember if there are any white Authority robes on the ship and Ty starts giggling because they're "the opposite of amnesia"
- Selina wears hers over her Catwoman outfit, so there are two ears poking up under the hood.
Old Man John Cena: Hey everybody? We are the best at hiding. Hey team? Great job.
Selina: Oh we are all gonna die.
Old Man John Cena: Salem, take us in!
Mr. DNA tries to distract the party by telling them how fun it is to say "Dino DNA!" And he's not wrong.
- Old Man John Cena tries to refer to him as "Mr. D", but he's not close enough. So instead he uses his full name, Mr. Daniel Nathaniel Athaniel.
Logan accidentally slips into a Hank Hill voice.
Logan: Do I look like I know what a gotdamn keyblade is?
Salem keeps the telepathic channel open while Selina meets with Bruce, and starts riffing on him while all lying on Old Man John Cena's bed.
While sneaking away to the Authority science division, Old Man John Cena realizes that in addition to using Jurassic Park tech to remake worlds, they are also making dinosaurs.
Old Man John Cena: Hey Sans.
Sans: Yeah?
Old Man John Cena: Can you go on ahead, make sure everything goes well, I wanna go see some dinosaurs, is that okay?
Atticus: John, no, come on, please -
Sans: I can't believe that you would imply...that you wouldn't take me to meet dinosaurs if went.
Old Man John Cena: You're right. Hey Atticus?
Atticus: No!
Old Man John Cena: Me and Sans are gonna go meet Littlefoot.
- Old Man John Cena looks longingly at a triceratops. Sans assures him that they'll still be there if the team don't blow everything up on their mission - which is about 60/40 odds.
When they come across a party for them, Old Man John Cena tells Rolie Polie Olie that "one of" the guests really likes carrots, sending the little robot into a panic.

#14: Stained Glass Ceilings

When Sans raises suspicion due to being the only talking skeleton around, Atticus tries to solve the problem by hurling him down the hallway.
Old Man John Cena tries to find Sans in a pile of bones using Marco Polo. You can clearly hear Riley getting further and further away from their mic as they do so.
"Skeletons can't see height."

#15: Acceptance Speech

Wheels forgets to mention that they'll be voicing Bruce Wayne, so everyone jokes that after the previous episode, Selina killed him offscreen.
Wheels bemoans saying "Condiment Man" instead of the actual Batman villain "Condiment King", and Jo says that all the Condiment King stans are gonna come for them.
Ben Kenobi created a timeline where Atticus joined the party so that he in turn could kill a monster from Atticus' own world, not bothering to check that Atticus even knew how. Atticus calls him out for not helping him with anything else he had to go through.
Atticus: So you put all this stress on - you took all of this problem that you felt, put it on some random kid you don't know, and then he goes through fuckin' hell avoiding The Authority, you didn't help throughout any of that! I fought Oprah! Went through all this shit, we destroyed Vince McMahon! Which granted, I guess I did that to help my other friend -
Ben: Congratulations, by the way.
Atticus: Fuck off.
- Atticus does think of a trinket from his world that The Authority could possibly recreate in order to control the monster, called the Zyclan. Cue several "ask your doctor" jokes.
- When Wheels explains the process of trying to figure out how to synthesize it, the others imagine Moogles running around checking ingredient lists. Finally, the computer figures it out.
Ben: Shit. Literally. We need dinosaur shit.
Sans and Old Man John Cena are kissing. Neither of them has lips. Logan starts playing xylophone sound effects.
Selina's outfit for the gala has a deep V. So does Sans'.

#16: Face My Fears

Identity interrupts the party's attempts to form a plan to let them know they're on the phone with The Force of Creation itself. They're vibin'.
Identity continues their Newhart Phonecall, and while they're waiting the rest of the party orders drinks.

A Post Mortem

Riley jokingly asks if anyone prepared a monologue, and Wheels starts to break into Hamlet.
When being asked if season 2 would be the final season, Riley starts to answer before Wheels and Jo both shout "yes!" Jo emphasizes their answer with the Houseimus Prime voice.
Wheels says they need to start going through the questions faster, and not a minute later are distracted trying to explain the appeal of Music/Gloryhammer. They actually fade out, followed by Jo mentioning they're leaving both comments in.
- The ramble was prompted by a question on what other Interstitial characters they'd like to play, which also included Jo forgetting Zack Ryder's name and only being able to say "WOO WOO WOO!"

Live at Extra Life 2019

Instead of describing Kiba, Jo just has Siri read his entry on Heroes Wiki.
Goofy possessed by Jacob from Lost asks Shinji Ikri if he's ever considered starting a cult.
"Do I have permission to touch your face for this roleplay?"
- "Shinji, get in the robot, your teacher's getting creepy."

Season 3: Proximity

#1: 5 Against the House

"You might recognize some of the voices harassing me currently".
- The introductions of said voices are completely unhinged. Wheels stutters theirs, Riley declares themself to be the other side of the coin, Jay is the person they finally put on the twenty dollar bill, and Blake is on the front of that Bill hidden amongst the Illuminati shit.
Raphael's sais are described as "what if forks were cooler".
Riley explains that there's a "vast gulf" between how noisy Raph is and how noisy Mikey is. Wheels thinks Vast Gulf is the next 7-11 size after Big Gulp.
When discussing links, Wheels states that Edgeworth has a Heart link with Phoenix but exclusively refers to him as "that man".
Raphael specifies that when he says his Raphael is from after season, four, that's where the show ended, and season 5 was when they did a victory lap.
- "What do you do when the city doesn't need protecting anymore? You leave because your brothers have it under control. You leave your boyfriend Casey Jones and you fuck off."
Jo declaring Tails "the fox in the chair" after a line allegedly from Ocean's Twelve leads the group to discuss how that was "the furry movie".
Wheels: You don't remember when Matt Damon got in a fursuit to plant the hologram Faberge egg?
Riley: Yeah can you remind us all what Matt Damon's fursona was real quick?
Jo: It was Julia Roberts.
Pidge pretends to be a rich person by flopping on the bed and yelling "hell yeah I own so many boats!"
Jo curses as Tails, then retracts that claiming that Tails wouldn't say "fuck". Everyone agrees that the real goal of the season now is to make Tails say "fuck".
Edgeworth is still uncertain about breaking in until Pidge and Raph suggest everything that could be in the basement, like a demon summoning ring, bloodsport arena, or animal experiment laboratory.
Edgeworth: Ah, the suspense is killing me! *charges in*
- The basement has some rubble scattered around, and Wheels asks if it's like someone went at the floor with a pickaxe.
Jo: Yeah, I'll say sledgehammer.
Riley: I don't like how specific you just got.
Wheels: Why, you worried we're in Peter Gabriel's house?
- Jo advances the clock for looking at the files in the basement.
Jo:...that is the thing that I think takes issue here, but -
Blake: The way you say "takes issue" leads me to believe this is some sort of Monster House?
Riley: And you already said it wasn't Monster House.
Wheels: You promised it wasn't gonna be a Monster House!
Riley: That is entrapment!
Jay: Jo said we have Monster House at home.
Edgeworth and Char report that they've managed to get out while Raph and Pidge distract John.
Char: We had to leave behind the grand prize.
Edgeworth: But we arrived with the greatest prize of all - information!
Jay: Edgeworth says that and Pidge considers changing their dark link to a light link.

#2: A Simple Plan

The cast declares that the only three shows to have a perfect first episode are them, Twin Peaks, and Naruto.
Jo thinks that the episode should begin with five unbroken minutes of Edgeworth trying to park the car. This leads to a debate as to whether Edgeworth is a gay who can't drive, and they conclude that it's actually Phoenix.
The team's base is an abandoned mall with the Green Lion halfway driven through it.
Raphael busts open the door.
Raphael: TAILS YOU FUCKED UP BIG TIME!
Tails: raph.
Edgeworth has made his personal quarters in Brookstone - but Wheels accidentally says Bridgestone, making Raph think he's a car guy. Edgeworth also never corrects him, so if Raph ever tries to track him down he's just gonna find an abandoned tire shop.
- Raphs's quarters are between the Zumiez and Hot Topic, and stole mannequins and toys to represent the rest of his family in his back room.
- Char is in the Bass Pro Shop, and all he does is stare at the aquarium full of river fish.
Blake says that their vivid description of a Bass Pro Shop is because everyone is clearly basing the mall off of places from their own childhood. Jay recognizes the carousel that Jo described as one they saw when they visited.
Blake: Love a good mall carousel though. Never go on it. Love to see it.
Riley: That thing will kill you.
Jay: Hundreds of ghosts of children on that thing. Not dead children, just children who were disappointed enough that part of their soul is still there.
Wheels: Yeah there is one of the horses that if you get on it you will see the child ghosts.
Jo: It's actually the carousel from Disneyland that's right over a leyline. Never go on it.
Jay: Pidge has been trying to figure out which horse is the ghost horse for weeks.
Pidge's quarters is partly a Yogibo full of bean bags (where they sleep) and partly an Apple Store. They wanted to be in the nearby Best Buy, but it was demolished by the Green Lion when it landed.
Jay: Pidge every day wakes up from their bean bag slumber and looks out into where they could've gotten some good and decent goddamn computers if the Green Lion hadn't rumbled and tumbled through it like a goddamn slip and slide.
At some point, Pidge makes some C4 out of Baja Blast.
Miles turned to crime because he bought the mall and is still trying to pay off the mortgage from before the Green Lion crashed into it.
Pidge tests a hacking knife they made from cannibalized Apple products by stabbing a Mac and manages to download five U2 albums. Or the same album 5 times. It's still cool!
Wheels realizes that between playing Edgeworth and disguising themselves as Leon, they've been cast specifically for characters from their wife's favorite games.

#3: Inside Man

Edgeworth has yaoi proportions and is crammed in the middle seat during the drive to Raccoon City, getting slammed side to side whenever there's a turn.
- There's not an aux cord, and the only "Bluetooth" is the one from Hotel Transylvania, i.e. a literal blue tooth. Pidge is distraught that there's nothing more to the bit, and the tuneless drive is only broken up by Edgeworth trying to explain that the logo comes from Viking runes.
- Char napped the entire time, and only woke up when he heard Raphael asking if Vikings come from Italy.
The crew assume Raccoon city is populated by raccoons like Tom Nook. Edgeworth says he got a loan from Tom Nook to get the mall.
Miles: But I don't know what Bells are, nor do I know the exchange rate.
Char: Edgeworth I've dealt with a lot of foreign currency while traveling the stars, I find if you give them a lot of something shiny eventually that works.
Raphael: What if we just steal?
Char: Listen, if you steal a lot of something shiny that also works.
- This leads to Char thinking that they're stealing from Tom Nook.
Miles introduces himself as Leon Kennedy with a dramatic French accent.
Claire Redfield runs up to Miles and introduces herself, hoping he can help her. He says he's new and Claire bemoans that the only other person she’s met is also new - Leon Kennedy. So Miles introduces himself as...Iles Medgeworth.
Raphael:...he didn't.
Char: He did.
Raphael: This is the social guy?
Char: This is the social guy.
Pidge: Agh, I've never felt more socially apt in my life!
Pidge wants to hack the card reader.
Jay: Miles has a particular set of skills, which is allegedly being sociable, Pidge has a set of skills which is taking things apart and making them do what Pidge wants them to do.
Riley: I can't wait for this to be another "allegedly".
Jo: It's all up to the dice rolls, baybee!
Raph sees a bus on fire a few blocks over and decides it’s not his problem because he’s not robbing the bus.
Pidge: How far away is a few blocks?
Raph: I don't know, further than a foot? I didn’t bring my tape measure!
- He also sees clear evidence of a wall being exploded open and his only response is to chuckle in vindication, thinking whoever did this was of like minds with him because everyone else said explosives wouldn't be needed.
- He sees a lot of blood on the ground and tells the others he hopes it's marinara. When they point out it's definitely blood, he counters that "it's likely cop blood, we're probably fine".
Raph: You don't lose this much blood and live, right?"
- Raph's last question for a Deep Dive is "What here can I use to hold over Pidge's head and make them jealous?"
Miles's greeting to a zombie is "Hail and well met!"
Jay: Edgeworth is so well-spoken and yet every sentence out of his mouth sounds like the first thing he ever said.
Char and Pidge find a grody room, with the sound of a barking dog nearby.
Jo: The vibes here are rancid.
Blake: And so is the dog, presumably.
Raph encounters Mr. X.
Raph: If you're the explosive guy we got a lot in common. I love your work. And also explosives.
Miles realizes the scope of the situation.
Char: I think we planned to encounter a couple pigs. I think we found something else.
Wheels: We found a whole zoo.
Riley: Tails we bought a zoo!

#4: Army of the Dead

When explaining that Miles should probably have knowledge of zombies and other weird things because they already live in a wacky crossover world, Wheels starts saying "We live in a world" before Jo corrects them. "Please, we live in a society."
Blake picks "succeed at what you're attempting" for their move, and Jo suddenly starts talking like a gameshow host.
Jo: Oh great choice!
Jay: Pretty cut and dry!
Riley: You chose right, show them what they've won!
Jo: Behind doorway number one it's the doorway you're tring to get into!
Wheels: Aw dang, I got a goat.
Jo wants it on the record that Raph tried to talk down both John Wick and Mr. X, even though they factually would not step down from attacking them. Riley acknowledges this. Blake encourages them to steal Mr. X's hat.
- Riley reminds Jo that they should have a link with Mr. X, then immediately spends it to save his roll.
When Riley steals the Dr. Faust hat from Mr. X, Jo states that they won't be tracking currency for Raph to use it.
Wheels: Cue Edgeworth going "we don't have the budget for all these red orbs!"
Jay: "The red orb store in the mall got destroyed weeks ago!"
When Pidge evades the Licker but can't defeat it, everyone bemoans that it's gonna go lick all the art. Also, Char's more subtle reaction to everything.
Pidge: THERE WAS SOMETHING WITH A BRAIN - DID YOU SEE THE THING WITH THE BRAIN? IT HAD A WHOLE BRAIN!
Char: I did see the thing with the brain and I am not fond of it.
Pidge: I AM ALSO NOT FOND OF IT!
Pidge tells Char to remember that they placed charges at that point in the building. Miles comes over the intercom to say that you can just tell Siri to set a reminder, and Pidge snaps that they're a Bixby user through and through.
Claire asks Miles if it would be a good idea to use a taser against zombies, but he thinks she's asking what it's like to be tased. He didn't find it fun.
Referring to The Toilette of Venus as "The Toilet of Venus".
Wheels is confident Miles can carry various weapons, items, and the art because he's dressed as a cop and probably has "a utili-sash or some shit".
Pidge gets into the private collection room and muses about how easy it was after the zombies...the turns around just in time to see Raphael get chucked by Mr. X down a floor and through the window.
Raph: There's a large man...and he's unfriendly.
When Mr. X appears again, Raph takes Pidge's bayard and throws it at him.
The episode ends with the progress clock going off and John Wick crashing in through the skylight.

#5: No Deposit, No Return

"Yeah, I'm thinking I've returned yet again!"
Tails, who's been radio silent all last episode, chimes in to tell them that there's a lab in the basement. Raph turns on a video call to show himself sitting in a crater, then flipping it to show Mr. X.
Tails: Oh, is that a new friend?
Everyone: No!
Riley has an idea where a move would let him "travel through walls in the same way I have before. Which is being thrown".
When the crew comes across the chess puzzle from RE 2 to get into the lab, everyone starts chanting "puzzle time, puzzle time, PUZZLE TIME".
Pidge refers to Mr. X as "the ten foot call Mr. Clean."
Miles haughtily waxes to Claire about being able to deduce the solution to the chess puzzle.
Blake: I feel like the cravat under the police uniform is getting longer with every sentence.
Wheels: You pull it and he goes "It seems like you're using an out-of-date autopsy report".
Char swings the bayard hard enough that, according to Jo, it voids the warranty.
Jo: Geek Squad will not cover this.
"Since you're trying to redirect Mr. X would you call it a mister-x-tion?"
Raph refers to Miles as "Red".
Miles: You're going to have to be more specific. I know to whom you're referring, but you yourself are one of the three red guys -
Raph: Tails how do I block someone?
Tails: In real life?!
- When he later stops by near Miles and Claire, he complains that they keep befriending people who wear red.
- Then Raph asks her if she's part of the crew now, while Miles desperately tries to get him to stop. Raph finally catches on and introduces himself as Michaelangelo.
- When Claire says that she's not a cop, she's a college student, Miles and Raph immediately spill to her and give her two options: join the crew, or deal with the two angry men on the way.
Raph insists to Claire that he has no idea what happened at the station that day, and Miles starts rambling about how that's what he needs to say if they ever end up in court about that night. Raph worldlessly hooks him onto the zipline they've been using to get everyone and the loot out, making him wail all the way down.
Jo: Update the autopsy report in hell, ya bastard!
The episode ends with Miles introducing himself to Claire with his full name, causing everyone else to react in shock that "Miles 'Tails' Prower" is his real name.

#6: Band of Outsiders

Blake is on board with Claire joining the crew because their Leon S. Kennedy boyfriend senses have been tingling for the past three episodes and wants her there to help broker that deal.
A rundown of the loot everyone ended up with:
- Char has his own pistol, Pidge's broken bayard, and the Dr. Faustus hat (yeehaw).
- Raph has a shiny bracelet tht briefly became a replica sai (his originals have been lost).
- Edgeworth has the data knife.
- Pidge has a stuffed dodo.
Raph suggests he and Char go to Pidge together with the broken bayard so that they won't be as angry.
Raph: They can't be mad at two people, they'd go cross eyed.
Raph and Char have a heart to heart, which includes Raph ensuring Char that he'll protect their crew and he knows Char will as well, and Raph doesn't see a bit of Char's emotional wall come down when he hears Raph's feelings. And then:
Raph: Anyway when I took your gun I also took your wallet, here's that back, it's twenty dollars lighter, I don't know what happened. Bye!
Miles calls everyone for a team meeting.
Miles: I do not recall how many of you know the whole story, so I will begin from the beginning.
Raph: You don't have to do that.
Miles: My friends and loved ones believe that I am dead.
Raph: What.
Char: Understandable.
Raph: What?!
- He goes on to explain that Phoenix has been texting him since he disappeared, and in a moment of weakness he accidentally opened them and sent a read receipt, so is now opening the floor to other options. Claire suggests smashing it, Pidge suggests having Raph throw it out the window, Raph suggests "new phone who dis?"
- Most of the texts are from Phoenix just saying "Hello? Are you there?" and one from Maya that says "please text back, Phoenix needs help on a case".
- Claire compares his case to "that Nora Ephron movie with the emailing where the guy's kind of terrible but it's okay because it's Tom Hanks".
Raphael: Star Wars?
Claire: Yeah, that's one.
Raph thinks Claire's glance towards Miles indicates a crush on him, and he reminds her that he has a boyfriend. Claire, also not understand, casually mentions that she's an ally.
- She also mentions that she was studying Poli Sci in college.
Raph: You could call what we do Poli Sci as well, because there's several of us and I used to have two sais.
- Further miscommunication crops up when he doesn't know if she knows that he is not the Renaissance painter, and she thinks his statement above means that they're all polyromantic.
Raph: My girlfriends a lizard.
Claire: Cool.
Raph: Yep.
*Beat*
'''Raph:...so this was fun.
When Cupil reveals himself, everyone is positively enthralled, including Miles declaring "his head is far too large for his tail!" in a delighted voice.
Jo introduces Ben Whishaw's Q as "a twink with a clipboard".
- And what is Q helping the Umbrella Corporation develop underneath RCPD? Custom Robo. The mention of which causes Blake's eyes "fly out of their goddamn skull".

#7: Firewall

Jo put Skies of Arcadia into the game in the hopes that the "Interstitial Curse" would cause media mentioned to end up getting revived after being mentioned in the show. Since the last episode, Q had been confirmed gay in the latest James Bond movie and Sora was added to Smash, so they all take credit for it.
Q explains the conceit of Custom Robos to "Coke Freestyle machines for robots".
Miles gets excited when he realizes he can give their robot the staff of the Steel Samurai. Raph and Pidge are shocked that Miles likes things.
- Pidge gets excited about the legs from a Xenoblade Chronicles boss, happily declaring that they're from a game that no one else present will play because it's seventy hours long and they've never heard of it. Raph concurs since he only plays pinball games. He still knows who Sephiroth is though - because he also played a pinball of it.
Jay picks "A Day Late And A Dollar Short" as the name of the robot, but in-universe it gets the name because Q hits a randomize button and bemoans that it incorporated an AI that names racehorses.
Q's password for the system is "imissbond".

#8: Baby Driver

Jo asks if Pidge even knows how to drive a car, and Jay thinks the closest thing is the Green Lion or go-carts - neither of which translate well to a normal vehicle. Then everyone wonders if this will be another season where Wheels' character has to teach someone how to drive.
Miles: Two pedals or three Pidge? How complicated is the sticky-uppy thing?
Pidge: Three!
Raphael: They're gonna die in there.
Miles: We're gonna have to give up on Pidge.
- Blake says they haven't driven a manual in years. Riley decides it's in-character, and Raph recruits Char to help Pidge since he has the best knowledge base.
The crew keep getting distracted by video game discussions while trying to help Pidge evade the Agent trying to pull them over.
Pidge: Can we, for once, not talk about video games!
Miles: Right, I forgot you're trying to Detroit colon become human.
Pidge: I'm going to have a stroke!
Riley says Raphael has a shellphone.
Jo: Like, from It Follows?
Riley: No. Because I'm a turtle?
- Raphael's plan is to use his phone to send a power up to Pidge, but what ends up happening is that World Flipper is sucked off his shell phone and Pidge's car gets a giant pinball flipper on the front of their car.
Char investigates a noise approaching the crew, realizes it's Mr. X, and returns to the lab while saying the chorus to "X Gonna Give it To Ya" in an exasperated tone.

#9: Roadblock

Tails calls and, while everyone else is vague about things, Edgeworth just shouts "Miles Tails Prower I need you to get me out of this computer!
Pidge: For once the technologically inept thing he said is correct.
Q bemoans that it's hard to find good jobs with the skillset of "illegal and unethical surveillance for Her Majesty's Secret Service". Raphael suggests he join the crew and partake in illegal but ethical actions.
- What finally gets him to join them is the prospect of working with other Humongous Mecha.
Edgeworth: You've got competition now!
Tails: In what regard?
Raphael: We have a hot guy to do our math now.
Pidge: The scientific community of our mall has only grown. And the Apple Store is more insufficient than ever.
Raphael wonders aloud where John Wick got to.
Edgeworth: Why did you say it?! Stop! Why have you done this? Have you not heard the saying about the Devil's name and once it is said he will come?!
Jo: I'm advancing a clock.
Wheels rolls 14 on to make a link with Q and Riley immediately declares him Edgeworth's new boyfriend.
Tails' only reference for Pidge and Edgeworth's situation is Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing Transformed, so he tells them to grab some power-ups.

#10: Public Enemies

"A heart can live anywhere! Even in data!"
Riley: An attorney can prosecute from anywhere! Even in data!
Wheels: Tails, I can dock your pay from anywhere! Even in data!
As Pidge and Edgeworth arrive in OZ, they turn into avatars. Pidge becomes their barbarian-sona from the D&D episode of Voltron, and Edgeworth turns into...the Blue Badger.
The rest of the crew heads toward the second lab and let Pidge and Edgeworth know.
Edgeworth: Okay, we'll just keep pushing this robot up a hill to make a deal with god.
Raphael explains John Wick to Jill, describing him as scarier than Mr. X. Claire just offers to taze him.
Raph: I cannot stress this enough, do not have this man after you. You said you don't fully wanna be in the crew yet and I understand that, but if that's the case you do not want the man coming after you.
Claire: I appreciate the concern, Raph.
Raph: Alright Claire, thank you for your help. *turns to Char and whispers* She's dead! I tried.
Wick catches up again. "Yeah. I'm returning yet again."
- Agent Smith and Mr. X show up in OZ, and Riley suggests the former is riding on the latter's shoulders.
- To fight back, Edgeworth turns his avatar into Bad Badger.
When Pidge gets out of the computer they declare that they need to Touch Grass.

#11: The Getaway

Agent Smith gets distracted when John Wick shows up.
Mr...Anderson?
Wheels' plan for getting rid of Mr. X is cutting a hole in the bottom of the elevator, then leaning against the sides so he falls through when he breaks in.
When the crew finally escapes from Umbrella Labs and RPD, Riley asks if they get a rank on the level. Jo begins imitating rankings in a Sonic voice.
Jo: Honestly, not that far past cool!
Riley: Barely cool!
Jay: Adequate at best!
Jo: Just kind of okay!
Riley: We lived!
Jo: At least I'm not dead!
Upon returning to the mall, they find everything has been trashed - presumably by John Wick. This includes all of Pidge's bean bags getting cut open.
- Also, he took the Michaelangelo mannequin from Raphael's Hot Topic.
Raph: My mannequin brother is gone!
Raphael makes things right with Pidge partly because of their altercations in the previous job, and partly because Edgeworth told him he thinks he's responsible enough to be a leader.
Pidge: Hey wait a minute, you're telling me I'm always welcome here. Who's dying and leaving you in charge of the mall?
Raph: Nobody!''
- Raph asks Pidge if they wanna have a movie night, suggesting the latest film he and his brothers watched - Jurassic Park.
- Riley declares that Pidge is now one of Raph's brothers.
Riley: It goes Mikey, Donnie, Pidge, Leo.
Jo: Oh shit, new mannequin just dropped!
Edgeworth is making popcorn for the movie night while wearing an apron that reads "Kiss the Prosecutor".
- Clare asks him if, in lawyer school, if he ever learn about quantum mechanics. Edgeworth is shocked that she came to him of all people.
Jo asking what link Char is rolling for with Raphael and why leads to some accidental Waxing Lyrical.

Jo: Why don't you tell me why -
Wheels: Tell me why! Ain't nothing but a heart link.
Everyone: Tell me why!
Wheels: Ain't nothing but a failed roll.
Blake: Tell me why...

The song peters out as Blake keeps talking about it, until Wheels pops in a moment later with "I'll roll with mastery" to finish the song.

Raph invites Char to go on a job through the mall, and Wheels says they're like mall-walking moms.
"After I left Her Majesty's secret service I learned a lot about applying for other jobs, which is something I hadn't had to think about for a while, and I learned about something called 'transferable skills'." This is Q's response to Pidge telling him about piloting the Green Lion.
- During the conversation, the cube containing the digitized drill turns itself into a Ghost, baffling Q.
Q: This doesn't make any sense with all the overclocked Arduino drives I have set up.
Pidge: This thing has four raspberry pis plugged into it! That should be nothing! Technology is awesome!
The reveal that John Wick has been tracking Cousin Greg from Succession.

#12: How To Beat The Cost Of High Living

Jay introduces themself as Pidge the Green Paladin.
Riley: Are you still legally a Paladin if you can't get into your lion?
Jay: Riley, we'll get into it! We've got several episodes left!
Wheels: We're all skating by on past items from our CV.
Riley: Uh-huh, speaking of skating by on their past deeds - war criminal Char Aznable played by Blake!
- Leading into a discussion about how Char hasn't committed a big war crime yet, just a variety of smaller ones.
Raphael makes a joke about having a frog in his throat, then forgets whether he's a reptile or not.
When the crew infiltrates the Valua casino they see a bunch of rich people, including Bill Smoke, Thaddeus Valentine, and the Red Skull (all three played by Hugo Weaving).
Jo: You'd think I'd only put four Hugo Weavings in this season, but the dog from Babe is playing poker with the cast of PAW Patrol.
- Solid Snake is mentioned playing Pachinko.
- Rouxls Kaard playing blackjack with Sho Minamimoto, and the dealer is Luxord.
- The house band is ABRA, four abras covering ABBA songs.
Edgeworth introduces himself to Cousin Greg...as Iles Medgeworth.
Greg: Did you say "Iles"?
Edgeworth: It's foreign.
- Edgeworth immediately realizes Greg is a poser, so offers to buy him a drink and gets him a big cup of Everclear.
Vyse admits that even though he's a pirate, he could never bring himself to commit murder. Raphael reassures him that he's learned from his friend Char that sometimes, murder is okay.
Char (thinking: Ah shit, I taught the wrong lesson.
Jay explains that Pidge probably built Ralph to spy on Edgeworth when they first met. Wheels goes on to say that Edgeworth never picked up on it and probably thought he was being haunted.

#13: Out of Sight

"Hi, I'm Wheels, my pronouns are they/them, and I have a cold so I'll be portraying Miles Edgeworth with a hangover."
- "Hi, my name is Riley Hopkins, pronouns he and they, and I'll be quietly eating sushi."
One of the players in the Casino Royale card game is Duke Nukem.
Duke: I came to chew bubblegum and play cards, and somehow I've eaten all of my cards.
- Maximillion Pegasus is also there, apparently voted in by the cast.
Security Chief Worf hands Greg his key card.
Worf: You have no honour.
Greg: Yeah man, I know...
Char sneaks into the back of the casino by introducing himself to the head chef as "Johnny Ridden". Pidge introduces themself as "Pidge Medgeworth".
- Then it turns out that they managed to avoid a fight with the lowly chef: Casey Ryback.

#14: The Hot Rock

Pegasus refers to Miles as "Medgy-boy".
Agent Smith climbs out of a computer to confront Raphael, only to wonder if he has a last name.
Riley: I mean he would take Hamato Yoshi's last name because Splinter's his dad.
Agent Smith: Mr. Yoshi -
Raphael: Nah! *swings his hammer*
Miles is able to project a hologram on Le Chiffre's face to make it look like he's cheating.
Miles: Poker's pretty easy when you have a HUD!
Le Chiffre: I'm from the sixties, I don't know what that is.
- This prompts Duke Nukem to fly into a rage and start firing on everything and everyone. While Miles is fleeing, he sees Pegasus sprawled in a crater like Yamcha.
- By the time everyone else catches up with Miles, Duke Nukem is in the same pose next to him.

Season 4: Infinity

Sea of Thieves Special
As an early preview for the season, Marn, Riley, Clowne, and Jay played Sea of Thieves together in character:

"Is your pirate ship creepy or wet?"
The major Running Gag of this stream is Shadow setting things on fire and blaming Mob for it.
- The first time he does this to Mob "to show [him] that Life is dangerous, and at any moment an attack could happen".
- The second time, he gives the fire bomb to Trish, who turns it back on him, setting the boat on fire in the process.
- The third time, Mob and Al vote to put Shadow in the brig as revenge. While they show Trish how to vote, Shadow dies.
Trish: Sad, but it had to happen.
- The fourth time Shadow sets himself aflame "in real life", trying to prove that his Ultimate Lifeform status makes him immune to fire. When he actually gets hurt from this, he tries to pass it off as being low on rings.
- The final time, the group has accepted it, and plays music in-game while the ship sinks.
"That's a complex conversation that people won't understand unless they listen to at least the first six episodes of Riley Hopkins and their Amazing Friends presents Interstitial Infinity on the Moonshot Podcast Network, coming later this year--"
It turns out Fugo is playing at the same time as the group, and he shows up in-game with the handle "SpicyItalian283".
The party finds a parrot named Goku, and takes a moment to play Happy Birthday to You! for him while he dances. Crossed with Heartwarming Moment.
Trish is from 2001, so she doesn't know what modern computers are like, thinking that computers can't go over 10 bytes and that 50 gigabytes of storage is an impossible number.
- Shadow tests her knowledge of video games:
Trish: I don't play many video games.
Shadow: Do you play Pong?
Trish: N-no.
Shadow: And like Oregon Trail?
Trish: I don't know what that is.
Shadow: I don't know which one of those I want to dig into more.
Trish: Like the spice?
Shadow: OREGANO? Do you eat oregano?
The group decides that if Shadow had a "normal name", he would be just Henry, with no last name.
When discussing the people the party left behind on the train, Al says that Ed has gone pacifist and lost his alchemy. Thus posing the question:
Shadow: Is Edward Elric a babygirl?
The group threatens to find Marn, beat her up for putting them on the train, and force her to make all the jokes from the stream canon.
What finally gets Riley to break character:
Shadow: I fucked Mob's mom. That's not true.
Mob: That's uncalled for! But if I'm being honest, If I'm looking inside myself, it's also kind of funny. If I'm not being Mob Psycho but Mob Civil about this, it's pretty funny.
Shadow: MOB CIVIL---

#1: The Noir Car

The party has all been arrested and is in their cell together, and Audrey and Trish have the same thing on their mind:
Is that Shadow the fucking Hedgehog? From Sonic?
- Mob is too busy panicking over being arrested to notice the others, but when he finally calms down...
Mob: Wow, that really is Shadow the Hedgehog from Sonic the Hedgehog! My brother Ritsu loves your games!
- Shadow notices how he is being stared at, and quips "take a picture, it will last longer". Audrey actually does so.
When escaping from the prison cell, Audrey shoves Shadow out of the way, making him lose all of his rings, complete with the appropriate sound effect.
The gang steals a police car to make their escape...
- Mob realizes a bit too late he gets carsick and throws up out the window as they drive away.
- Turning on the radio in the car plays a radio drama Narrating the Present, and adding dialogue tags to everything the characters say.
- Trish summons her stand in the middle of the car, causing Mob to scream. After Trish explains that Spice Girl is friendly, she and Mob exchange an awkward handshake.
- The radio is conveniently playing an advertisement for a speakeasy (read: the car's exit door), and the directions are extremely specific for Audrey to follow as she drives the car. The radio even corrects her when she makes a wrong turn!
When Trish sees the outside of the Train for the first time, she goes full Jojo-speak.
Trish: This is odd. There's something weird about this train. Some kind of Crazy Train...
Mob realizes he's a fictional character:
Audrey: And now I have to deal with magic and bullshit and all the fucking anime Noah watches being real!
Mob: Anime? Wait a minute-
Shadow: Yes, Anime. Get with the picture.
Mob: I know what anime is-Wait, are we all like Shadow the Hedgehog for you?
Audrey: I guess, yeah!
Shadow: I don't want to dig into what that means.
The next car the group enters is the Straight-up-Italy Car, which Trish recognizes immediately, making her think Giorno is playing a prank on her.
Mob's charm has finally worn off on Shadow:
Mob: Not only do we have Shadow the Hedgehog, we also have an Italian. This is the most worldly day of my life!
Beat
Riley: Can I move my link with Shigeo to dark?
- To make matters worse, Everyone has at least a Dark Link with Mob by the time the episode ends.
Jay: The Friend, everybody!
Before recording the episode, Marn had just seen The Super Mario Bros. Movie. So when the party tries to talk to an NPC in the Straight-up-Italy car, they try to make her read their lines in a Mario voice and call her a coward when she doesn't.
Emma: It's-a-she, a-Marn-io!
Trish demonstrates her stand power to Alphonse by punching the ground and turning it into a trampoline, sending Shadow flying.

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