Funny / Hogwarts Legacy

Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

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General

• The menu screen has the protagonist standing in the Room of Requirement while occasionally reacting to what's going on around them (which depends on your progress in the story):
  • A golden snitch will appear and the protagonist will try in vain to catch it.
  • Sometimes, Deek will apparate behind the protagonist and the they will look back at him to which he waves. The protagonist tries to resume their stoic idle pose, but end up smiling and turning back to look at Deek with a laugh.
  • One of them as a Niffler escape the Nab sack to collect some shinies and the protagonist goads the little thing into the Vivarium by sacrificing a coin and rolling it towards the opening. The Niffler easily takes notice and runs after it.
• The deluxe version of the game gives you access to a Thestral mount, which is pretty cool. Until you remember thst most people can't see them and will instead see a random teenager flying across the sky on nothing.
• You can remove your robes and travel around in your pajamas, which will trigger unique passive dialogue from various named NPCs, such as shopkeepers and companions.
  Professor Binns: I do hope it's not becoming fashionable to wear one's nightclothes in public.
  Gerbold Ollivander: Fizzing Whizzbees, is that the new style? Marvellous.
• While wandering around the world, it's very possible to find food and drinks to indulge in, like in the Three Broomsticks or in Common Rooms. However, these interactables show up in much stranger places as well. The most notorious example is the unidentified drink in Salazar Slytherin's Scriptorium, which has likely been sealed since the founding of Hogwarts, and yet, your character has no problem slurping this mystery liquid right up. Just as hilarious, you can also find drinks to sip at goblin loyalist camps, where it's very likely booze (as evident from goblin idle chatter).
• The fact that the protagonist and the main three companions share the common theme of being comparatively 'deranged' compared to other students. Natsai decides to take it upon herself to take down an entire poaching ring by taking down the biggest bad Dark Wizard's number two, Poppy's zero fear when it comes to dangerous beasts and has no qualms about murder as long as it comes to helping said beasts, Sebastian's obsessive descent into the Dark Arts for a cure for his sister, and don't even get started on the protagonist. The moment the protagonist takes Amit along on a quest, he is so taken aback by this extremely dangerous excursion that he excuses himself forever and never appears as a companion in a main or side quest again.
  • The Protagonist is also hilariously blase about Amit's reactions to murder during his entire mission. While for Amit it is the most traumatizing day of his life, for the Protagonist it's just another Saturday.
  Protagonist: That wasn't so bad, was it?
  Amit: It was. It really was. I'm afraid I've had enough adventure for one day. For a lifetime, perhaps.
• You can attempt to enter another House's Common Room, the keyword being 'attempt'. Nothing happens if you try to approach the Slytherin or Ravenclaw Common Room entrances, but attempting to enter the Hufflepuff Common Room as a non-Hufflepuff causes the barrel to spray you with vinegar. Likewise, attempting to enter the Gryffindor Common Room as a non-Gryffindor has the Fat Lady simply telling you to 'go away' in the form of a fake password, also approaching her late at night causes her to startle from her sleep and complain.
• The Teacher's responses to you using an Unforgivable Curse on the training dummy they provide you after learning their spells or just in their vicinity can be hilarious, considering they thought you'd just practice the spell and suddenly you're throwing out Unforgivable Curses like it's nothing! They range from merely warning you against using the Dark Arts, to utter annoyance and questioning where you learned it from, to almost outright rage. Perhaps the funniest response of all is the ones from Professor Weasley and Black, who by all rights as Deputy Headmistress and Headmaster respectively should expel you for utilizing the Dark Arts but more or less caution you against it in the former's case, and gives you the tip to be more subtle in actually using it in the latter's case!

  Madam Kogawa: "Where in the name of Merlin did you learn magic like that?"

  Professor Hecat: "You're lucky I'm no longer an Unspeakable."

  Professor Sharp: "I suggest you give your wand a rest. Don't let me find you doing that again."

  Professor Garlick: "Oh dear. I'm afraid you've rather veered outside the curriculum."

  Professor Ronen: "You did not learn that in my class. I hope you will reconsider the use of such magic."

  Professor Black: "Interesting display. I should be a bit more careful about using such magic in the castle if I were you."

  Professor Onai: "My stars, stop that immediately!"

  Professor Fig: "Let's not travel that path at the moment, shall we?"

  Professor Weasley: "I caution against the use of Dark Magic."

  Gladwin Moon: "I succeed in my craft as caretaker by keeping such dire magic out of school grounds. If you don't mind. And can stop that."

  Professor Binns: "Is that a draught I feel?"

  Professor Shah: "I have no tolerance for the Dark Arts!"

World

• There's a few spots where you'll see a pair of suits of armor, one of which is always humming when you pass it. Sometimes, the second one will pick up its weapon and spend a good ten seconds just bashing the first to pieces, roaring with rage, clearly annoyed out of its mind. When it's done, it gets back on its plinth and resumes its pose... and the shattered first suit of armor continues humming, though with a slight pain in its voice.
  • The best part about this one is that this can happen during dialogue cutscenes, most notably the one where the protagonist poses as Headmaster Black with the help of a Polyjuice Potion, making an already hilarious cutscene even funnier.
• Peeves is present in the game and he's just as chaotic back then as he is in the books.
  • In one encounter next to a bathroom, he scares some poor Hufflepuff student into dropping his books and keeps getting in the way while he tries to pick them up and move on before he's late for class. After Peeves continues his monologue despite the student's pleas and makes the student drop his books again, the student basically says "fuck it" and runs past the poltergeist, all while swearing to get him for this.
  • Another encounter has him jumpscaring a random student by popping out of a portrait/from behind the wall.
  • Another encounter has him interrupting a History of Magic study group in the Astronomy Tower discussing the 1752 Goblin Rebellion.
  • Peeves can also been seen sliding down banisters in certain areas of the school.
  • Another common encounter has him juggling lit torches.
  • Yet another has Peeves in the Potions Classroom bombarding a unfortunate student with random bottles, drenching them in potion.
• Some ghost encounters can also be this:
  • A man named Eddie Cleaver is seen fleeing from his axe-wielding wife/lover, Anabelle while constantly apologising for an unspecified incident/possible affair.
  • Another ghostly couple can be seen arguing over the fact they're dead with the female ghost refusing to accept her current fate, then floating off from her partner.
  • In the Deathday Party Hall, a male beheaded ghost garners the courage ask a female ghost to dance with him with some help by his friends, he succeeds... but accidentally leaves his own head behind on the table as the rest of his body floats off to dance.
  • The Hogsmeade Cementary at night has a bunch of ghosts playing with their heads in morbidly funny games. From playing catch, bouncing it around, and using it to play a carnival-esque game of toss.
• While wandering around Hogwarts, you'll overhear many amusing conversations:
  • In one interaction, a student is helplessly levitating in the air while his friends drag him toward the hospital wing... only to realize that they forgot their homework for Professor Binns and run off to finish it, promising to check on him tomorrow. Another student walks by, and clearly recognizing the poor floating student's plight, comments that billywig stings will keep him floating for a week.
  • One student feels clever for using the Disillusionment charm to make himself near-invisible until a girl crashes into him. His friend then uses a spell to make a book invisible. Unfortunately, it turns out that the book was the first student's homework... about invisibility.
  • You can run into random students receiving Howlers from their parents for a variety of reasons, like transfiguring the family owl into a goblet and then losing it in the Great Hall, frivolously spending their family's money on sweets, keeping pet spiders, supporting a different Quidditch team from the rest of their family, drawing a mustache on an aunt's enchanted portrait, getting sorted into the wrong house, etc.
  • If you visit the Infirmary you might find a Hufflepuff student begging the nurse to save his friend who's turned himself into a sheep. The nurse will argue that it's just a random sheep and that the process of becoming an Animagi is grueling and complicated and not just something that happens by accident. He'll still continue to beg for her to save his friend until said friend walks in confused about why there's a sheep in the Infirmary. Both students will walk outside and continue to argue while the nurse threatens to inform Professor Weasley.
  • There's usually a student outside Charms class struggling in vain to cast Lumos. In addition to that, there might be some students nearby cheering on another student who ate some Pepper Imps and is breathing fire.
  • Also outside Charms, a Half-Blood Ravenclaw girl tells her friends about how she rescued a crow, which now will not stop pestering her parents for food and attention and being a general nuisance. Her mother is a Muggle and deeply superstitious, believing the crow wants to steal souls. One of the friends suggests using earthworms to lure the crow away, which the Ravenclaw girl decides to suggest to her parents.
  • In the Defense Against the Dark Arts Tower, the Teacher's Staff Room door retains the two snarky gargoyles standing guard, while the one on the left stays silent, the one on the right can't stop complaining about either his current location, or the state of the school under Professor Black, he occasionally recalls a compliment made to him by a female Hufflepuff student in 1421.
  • Headmaster Black's house-elf Scrope can sometimes be found in the Faculty Tower cleaning off a bust of his master, with Nearly Headless Nick pleading with him to clean off his bust which is next to it. Bemoaning the fact that nobody ever cleans his, the ghost refers to himself as "Nearly Dusted Nick". When Scrope explains that he can only follow his master's orders and that the Black family has been known to behead their house-elves, Nick initially thinks that Scrope is mocking him about being "nearly" headless, before realizing that he means he doesn't want to be killed.
• There are several hilarious ambient events in Hogsmeade too:
  • The Zonko's owner catching a couple of students trying to flee after being caught shoplifting some prank items and angrily demands them to hand the items back. The pair of students insist that they haven't stolen anything, only for their pockets to keep exploding from the items they had stolen. They run off, promising not to steal again, while their pockets continue to snap and fizzle.
  • In a alleyway a young boy is seen trying to catch an escaped Diricawl, only for the bird to escape his grasp.
  • There's a student begging his mother for some normal socks after she had skimped on a few Knuts to buy a cheaper pair that seemed jinxed by some sort of dancing charm, all the while a confused child is asking his father if the dancing student is cursed.
  • One villager confides in a friend that she pretended someone had used Expelliarmus on her, but that actually she had forgotten to bring it (her wand, presumably) with her.
• In the staff room, you can find a note from Professor Black talking about plans for a staff party he overheard. He's actually supportive of the idea, which is quite atypical for him... until he starts putting more and more restrictions on it, to the point that it ends up being a "party" with no loud music, no snacks, only four participants, and lasting no longer than half an hour.

Story

Main Story

• The opening sequence of the game involves you and Professor Fig realizing that you have the key to a very old Gringotts vault. After you enter, the goblin banker explains that the instructions for that vault are to grant access to whoever has the key - and then close the door. After it slams shut, he gives a chipper "Best of luck!"
• Professor Ronan's bombast in the first Charms lesson. It comes across as really unexpected for a very first lesson (the protagonist even says this afterwards), and it turns out the rest of the class is so out of practice from the summer holidays that they can't even remember how to do the Summoning Charm.
  Professor Ronan: By the looks of it, you all spent your holidays practicing Obliviate ^note the Memory Charm on one another!
• There's a moment in Herbology class where Gryffindor Leander Prewett will escort the protagonist to tend to the Chinese Chomping Cabbage. Out of the blue, he starts complimenting the protagonist (who reacts rather confused and shyly about it) and begins posturing, boasting about how he could have defeated Sebastian in Defense Against the Dark Arts. It is extremely odd and sudden, portrayed in such a way it sounds like Leander is straight up hitting on the protagonist.
  • At one point in the conversation, the protagonist will point out that the dragon skull had almost crushed him and that Hecat saved him. Leander scoffs, claiming Sebastian was just playing dirty, using Slytherin tricks, while Gryffindor fights with honor. Then immediately backpedals if the protagonist happens to be a Slytherin too.
    Leander: Uh, no offence. Sorry.
• Sebastian's explanation on the Disillusionment Charm:
  Protagonist: You mean I'll actually be able to turn invisible?
  Sebastian: Something like that. It's not as foolproof as a cloak, but those are expensive. And spells - spells are free.
• In the first Flying class, Madam Kogawa instructs the students not to do any death defying stunts and leave those to the professional Quidditch players such as members of the Toyohashi Tengu. Lawrence Davies, clearly not a fan of them, boos at the mentioned of the of the Japanese team. Madam Kogawa simply sarcastically brushes it off.
• The protagonist is terribly excited to tell Professor Fig about the Map Chamber and they end up briefly going over the adventure they had in quick succession, much to Fig's surprise and concern. What the protagonist went through will depend on what House they're in. Ravenclaws will help Olivander find a wand and Gryffindors will help Nearly Headless Nick, but Slytherins will have a whacky story about how they fed a squid some toast and Hufflepuffs will straight up tell their professor that they went to Azkaban.
  Professor Fig: You went to Azkaban?!
• While investigating the estate at Feldcroft, the protagonist will try to explain to Sebastian the entirety of what's been happening to them and how they recognize the estate. Sebastian is understandably confused and overwhelmed by the sheer craziness of the of the main plot.
  Sebastian: Let me see if I got this straight. You have Ranrok and Rookwood after you because of what you found at Gringotts - which you ended up via Portkey. You can see traces of an ancient magic that you think Ranrok is trying to harness. And now you're witnessing memories left by these 'Keepers'? Oh! And this house belongs to a Hogwarts Professor - who was part of these non-Quidditch Keepers - hundreds of years ago. If I didn't know you, I'd think you're pulling my leg.
  Protagonist: It is all a bit much, isn't it? - when you put it like that.
  • This following conversation a bit later when the protagonist finds the enchanted stone:
  Protagonist: You're not going to believe this. I can see the Undercroft.
  Sebastian: What, a daydream? Because that happens to me too.
  Protagonist: I know it sounds strange, but -
  Sebastian: Honestly? Nothing you say sounds strange to me anymore.
  Protagonist: Fair enough.
• At one point, the protagonist drinks a Polyjuice Potion to impersonate Headmaster Black in order to get a password from his house-elf. Naturally, considering who Black is, it doesn't take much effort at all to imitate his personality and barely anybody gets suspicious.
  • The fact that for some reason, Professor Fig has a Polyjuice potion attuned to Black at the ready to be used at a moment's notice, just in case. How strangely and hilariously convenient.
  • Professor Fig is himself getting weirded out because the protagonist still acts respectfully to him after the transformation and Fig has never seen Black offer any semblance of gratitude.
  • Professor Sharp wants to talk to you in private regarding a potion, but after you insist on discussing it publicly, he informs you he finished brewing the Cure for Boils (indicating that Black has some boils somewhere on his body, implied to be somewhere... private...) and can drop it at Black's office when convenient. The protagonist has to stifle a laugh, and then you simply tell him to assign the delivery to a student and say that you hope it's enough for all your boils.
  Professor Sharp: Now to determine which student gets this unenviable task.
  • Running into Garreth, you ask him to bring a sample of his potions to Black's office. Considering what happened beforehand in Potions class, it'll no doubt be an unpleasant surprise.
    • If you've done Garreth's sidequest where he has you steal some Billywigs from Honeydukes, the protagonist will instead refer to that sidequest, taking the absolute piss out of Garreth by pretending 'he' found out about the theft, much to Garreth's shock.
  • Questioning Ominis will have him tell you that he has to write an essay on dittany and its uses. Your response?
  "Professor Black": Ah. Yes. Mixed with, um, Bubotuber pus makes a fine, er, moustache paste, yes, moustache paste, I find.
  Ominis Gaunt: Are you feeling alright, sir? You don't seem yourself.
  "Professor Black": I assure you I am quite healthy, Gaunt. If I need a medical diagnosis, I shall head to St. Mungo's.
  • Madam Kogawa keeps insisting that you uncancel Quidditch, even bringing up a potential compromise of having only trials and a shortened season. When you refuse and call it a silly game, she threatens to write to the Ministry about it. One of your responses is to be flippant and offer to provide the parchment, which pisses her off enough to decide she'll actually do it.
  • Upon reaching the Great Hall, you can interact with the podium to decorate the Great Hall with the banners of your respective house (bonus points if your character is sorted into Slytherin^note Black's former house)
  "Professor Black": I shall be taking no questions at this time. Or ever.
  • While there's many things you can't do while disguised as Professor Black (cast spells, ride your broom from the walkways, etc), you can still pet cats, which is adorably out-of-character for him.
• Sebastian and the protagonist's banter while hiking up the cursed mountain.
  • They had a pretty big disagreement in the last mission due to the protagonist befriending Lodgok, a goblin, who Sebastian believes is responsible for Anne's curse. This leaves a rather awkward meeting, but Sebastian tries to make some small talk about how some think Thestrals are bad omens and the protagonist responds that some don't think that way. Then Sebastian's response:
  Sebastian: Look I'm just making small talk. I'm not hiking up this mountain in complete silence.
  • After clearing out some spiders in a rather intense fight, Sebastian and the protagonist has some House-exclusive exchanges:
    • If the protagonist is a Gryffindor, they say that Sebastian is not that bad for a Slytherin and he responds that Gryffindors don't have the monopoly in bravery.
    • Ravenclaw dialogue sounds strangely flirtatious, especially since it comes out of nowhere:
    Protagonist: You're not so bad a chap for a Slytherin.
    Sebastian: For a Ravenclaw, you've got a lot to learn.
    • Even funnier, if Sebastian and the protagonist are both in Slytherin, they will take a dig at Gryffindors instead.
    Protagonist: I don't know why only Gryffindors are known for the bravery, we Slytherins are teeming with it.
    Sebastian: And we are much more fun to fight with.
• Speaking of vaguely flirtatious dialogue, Gryffindor players can have the opportunity to try and impress Nellie Oggspire on meeting her. Right after she introduces herself and talks about the dragon, three dialogue options pop up. One of them is "It was nothing I couldn't handle", which prompts the player to very awkwardly say:
  Protagonist: It is true. But I- we- handled it very well.
  • The Protagonist will also laugh awkwardly after telling Nellie he'd see her later, either around the common room or when she scales her next tower. It's simultaneously hilarious and cute.
• At some point, the protagonist takes Astronomy with some of their classmates in the freezing autumn night. Cue every single student in the class shivering violently due to how cold it is.
• At the end of the game, the professors will have special dialogue related to the protagonist defeating Ranrok. Everyone has glowing praise, thanking the protagonist for their heroism and bravery. And then we have Headmaster Black:
  Professor Black: No idea how you found yourself involved in the failed coup beneath the castle, but, you didn't lose the battle so - well done. I suppose.

Companions

• In one of his sidequests, Sebastian calls spiders insects.
  Protagonist: Spiders aren't insects.
  Sebastian: Don't start.
  • In another one of his quests, as they are solving bone puzzles, Sebastian won't stop making bone puns. Best of all, the protagonist sounds genuinely entertained by it.
• One of Poppy's quests involves you facing an angry dragon. When it starts breathing fire at the pair of you, she says, "Not a warm welcome!" The protagonist replies, "A bit too warm!"

Sidequests

• The 'Ghosts of Love' sidequest has you follow a map and then some floating candles into the Forbidden Forest, where you find remnants of an old picnic Jackdaw had set up for Apollonia. The protagonist asks incredulously who would find such a thing romantic- a Take That! to Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, in which the protagonist of that game is invited to a picnic in the Forbidden Forest by one of their dates.
• The optional 'History of Magic' class is just as boring as it is in other incarnations. The quick time event in this class is the protagonist struggling to stay awake. At some point, Professor Binns takes everyone out on a walk to talk more about history and most of the students have dispersed into their own groups to sit and hang out.
  • There is another student claiming that she isn't ready for History of Magic because she forgot her pillow.
  • In the beginning, Ominis is about to fall asleep, but Professor Binns walks through him, causing him to wake up and shudder from the sensation, wondering what exactly just happened.
  • Amit being the only one actively paying attention in the class.
  • If you "fail" the quick time event, your character just checks out for most of the lesson until Professor Binns calls the class out into the halls.
• Sacharissa Tugwood's sidequest has the protagonist venture into the ever dangerous Forbidden Forest to retrieve some Bobutuber pus to create a beauty cream help the 'less fortunate acne covered fellow students'. And why ask the protagonist for help? Well, at least she's honest.
  Sacharissa: I'd go myself, but I don't want to.
  • Apparently Sacharissa's neighbor attempted to use magic to thin her eyebrows and instead moved them higher on her forehead. Now she looks perpetually surprised.
• The sidequest 'Gobs of Gobstones' deals with the protagonist having to retrieve a set of Gobstones for a young Ravenclaw witch who seems to not grasp social cues, which have been stolen and placed in high places around the castle by students heavily implied to be sick and tired of the girl's constant nagging them to play a game with her. By the end of collecting all the Gobstones, even the protagonist feels annoyed at having wasted their time with a task even the most academically challenged first or second year student could've easily done, as evidenced by their snarking to the girl, when asked how they accomplished this herculean task, that all it took was 'common sense and basic magic'. Hilariously, she then thinks the best thing to do is to immediately go and challenge some students in her common room to a match, having clearly not learned her lesson at all, and the protagonist, likely fighting the extreme urge to facepalm, can either advise against the poor course of action, or egg her on by saying it's a brilliant idea, all but certainly setting her up for a repeat incident by her housemates.

Gameplay

• When using the Disillusionment spell, the protagonist will whisper their spells when casting them. This applies to all spells, including the Unforgivable Curses. Cue casting the infamous Killing Curse with a dramatic cinematic angle of your invisible character with nothing more than a whisper.
  • To continue the ridiculousness, you can cast Confringo or Bombarda with a soft whisper, as if you're trying not to be caught, followed by the massive explosions those two spells cause.
• You can cast Imperio on enemies and use Petrificus Totalus to knock them out. Nothing too special, but you can use this to slowly stun lock a troll or any enemy with more health and whittle down its health in the most hilarious way possible.
• One of the Ancient Magic finishers has you turn a human enemy into a chicken, permanently. Afterwards, you can watch the newly transformed chicken run around frantically before fleeing the scene.
• You can't actually use Accio on humans. So how are you pulling in humans and goblins with the spell? You are pulling their clothes.
• During battles, opponents often comment on the fight. Some of these include them frustratedly asking "Why can't I hit you?" when you use Protego, or whimpering that they're scared of heights after you levitate them.
• Sometimes, when casting Crucio an enemy will respond in shock and fear: "Crucio??!!", clearly terrified that a Hogwarts student had strolled up into their encampment and started casting Unforgivables.
• The enemies will react to story beats and side quests you have done, but towards the end of the game, that list gets exceedingly long. As a result, during battles the enemies will begin to list out all of your achievements in quick succession (from saving the Snidgets to defeating Harlow, etc), which is pretty hilarious. It makes you wonder why they even try killing you if they're aware of your impressive resume.
• The hilariously dark Dueling Feat you can get sometime after learning Crucio: "Torture a burning enemy". Setting an enemy on fire is already painful enough, but then torturing them while they're on fire just seems like unnecessary overkill. The fact that it's the Field Guide that's apparently giving out these accomplishments means one of three things: the protagonist is the one making them, Professor Weasley put them there, or the book is sentient enough to create these feats to do on the fly according to what the protagonist has learned; all of which doesn't excuse how morbidly dark this particular feat is.
• Turning on arachnophobia mode turns all the spiders into much goofier-looking things with bodies that look like balloons with printed-on spider markings and Floating Limbs with rollerskates on their legs, referencing Ron Weasley casting Ridikkulus on a Boggart. This applies to all spiders, from small harmless ambient ones all the way up to boss spiders.
• When brushing a niffler, one animation has it lay on its back while the brush goes up its belly. This pushes on its pouch and causes a few pilfered coins and gems to be pushed out. Another animation has it grab the brush and stow it in its pouch.
• When brushing a graphorn, one of it's animations is to lay on it's back while you rub it's tummy and it starts kicking one leg like a Stegosaurus-sized puppy.