Funny / Gamer Poop

In general:

• The way that the word "these" is pronounced in the phrase, "Let's get to bashing butts as well as DEEZ nuts!" is a pretty popular gag.

Fallout 3 and 4

• "NOTHING LIKE FAMILY."
• "With Enough chems, You can turn up for days!"
• From the same episode, the scene with a pregnant Sarah Lyons. The hilarity just keeps piling on in layers!
• A super mutant chest bursting out of the Lone Wanderer's mom? Deranged but funny. James busting a cap in it Gangster Style? Very funny. Everyone else in room scolding him for killing her baby? Hilarious.

Mass Effect

• Two lines that completely sum up the Mass Effect series:
  Shepard: Making hard decisions and owning females, that's what being a leader is about.
  Shepard: I'm Commander Shepard, but I guess I'm now your therapist.
• Upon hearing there is a sechs tape of Liara and Ashley, Shepard does the most impressive double take ever by spinning his head 360 degrees!
• Mark Meer speaking Shepard's most infamous GamerPoop line.
• Even the characters are expecting running gags:
  Ash: I hate my titties.
  Shepard: HEY. They're fine, Ash. They're SO damn fine. I think they're just stuck in those super-tight clothes.
  Ash: Shepard, I just-
  Shepard: Shh. [Puts a finger to her lips] We'll get them out of there safely, Ashley. Together. For Earth. I promise. [Starts to walk away]
  Ash: Shepard, wait...that's it?
  Shepard: Oh, right! We'll bang, okay?
• This exchange from the second Mass Effect episode:
  Shepard: The Reapers aren't the problem anymore. Kids are. Damn kids playing around with cocks.
  Liara: On the internet.
  Shepard: Damn truth. Can you control your damn children? ... There was a boy, back on earth. Couldn't have been more than six or seven. I watched him screwing Reapers. DEAD Reapers.
  Garrus: Damn whore.
  Shepard: As the Normandy escaped the attack. It's nothing I haven't seen before. I had to join them.
  Ashley: What the hell?
  Shepard: Nothing wrong with me, is there?
  Garrus: Damn whore.
• Likewise:
  Shepard: Let's move before the Reapers realize what we're up to.
  Anderson: Negative. There can be no retreat! No retreat! No stepping back. No stepping forward. And no destroying Reaper forces.
  Shepard: But first sign of any trouble, f*ck 'em all!
  Anderson: DAMN IT! Negative! No defeating the Reapers! NO DEFEATING THE REAPERS! Innocent people die!
  Shepard: And if they don't?
  Anderson: SAY AGAIN?!
  Shepard: (silence)
  Anderson: Exactly.
• "But you stole a young child's plaything... and inserted it into your plaything." Made even funnier by the reveal of a Magneto action figure when the camera zooms out.
• Liara neglects her waste disposal needs before the mission. The line sounds so natural, you'd think Ali Hillis herself voiced it.
  Liara: NO!
  Shepard: What is it?
  Liara: I FEEL A SHIT COMING!
  Shepard: How bad?!
  Liara: BAD!
  Shepard: DAMN IT! WHY DIDN'T YOU GO BEFORE THE MISSION?!
  [Non-Standard Game Over]
• Dr. T'Soni is a closet fan of Transformers against Matriarch Benezia's wishes.
  Liara: I've studied Transformers my entire life. My mother hid them from me.
  Shepard: What? Seriously? Fuck your mother. I know I did.
  Liara: SHEPARD, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
  Shepard: 0_0
  Liara: It must have been such a joke to her when I became Optimus PRIME! *transforms*
  Shepard: Oh, quit showing off.
• Wrex does not take it well when he learns that Garrus molested Shepard.
  Wrex: I found out Garrus had access to your ass and destroyed it.
  Shepard: Uh oh.
  Wrex: I don't understand you, Shepard. I think you enjoyed it.
  *Shepard glares at Garrus*.
  Wrex: Shepard?
  Shepard: Yeah?
  Wrex: I was wondering... [...] Maybe you could teach the females how to take it like a champ?
  Shepard: WHAT?
  Wrex: It's time to step up, Shepard.
  Shepard: I don't think—
  Garrus: He'll do whatever it takes.
  Shepard: Kill yourself.
  Garrus: Shepard...
  Shepard: No. You don't get to be angry about that. More importantly, p*ssy's my friend.
  <later>
  Shepard: Liara. We'll bang, okay?
  Liara: My body's ready.
  Shepard: And Garrus, hope you kick yourself in the balls on the way out the door.
• Mass Effect 3 could've ended the same way episode six starts.
  Shepard: I wasn't going to ask, but... Catalyst, how does one last long in bed?
  Catalyst: No. You can't.
  Shepard: Why?
  Catalyst: I stop that from happening.
  Shepard: What? Bullshit.
  Catalyst: You won't last. I created the Reapers so that never happens.
  Shepard: You son of a bitch.
  Javik: Commander, throw it out the airlock.
  Catalyst: No. Don't.
  <As the Citadel opens, the Catalyst is thrown off and sent screaming>

The Elder Scrolls series

• The bard that launches into a hammy rant about how much he misses Imperial soaps and...MOIST TOWELETTES. He provides a demonstration as well.
  Witness: "Intriguing, but highly disturbing..."
• You have to admire this particular exchange for its multifaceted humor and nested punchlines.
  A: May your mother's tongue be rough in my throat! May her dry vag loosen upon my lips.
  B: Brother, I'm not sure she would like that. Mother is far too proud a woman for that.
  A: I suppose you're right.
  B: Why don't you try sis?
  A: Brother, that's disgusting! That's our sister! And you know she tastes like aunt Agna.
• From Skyrim 10, Ysolda and Carlotta Valentia trade insults because the latter won't teach the former a spell for breast augmentation. After a few rounds, Carlotta taps her chin, hmms in thought, and calls Ysolda "Aquaman." Everyone in the area gasps dramatically in horror.
• The sheer amount of fan-submitted artwork of Jarl Balgruuf drawn like 'one of your fancy French girls'.
• "I'll have you know that there's no PUSSIEEEEEE"
• The entire skit between The Dragonborn and Alduin in Skyrim 18:
  • The skit begins with the Dovahkiin pulling out a basket to pick flowers. No explanation is ever given as to why.
  • Alduin introduces himself:
  Alduin: Dovahkiin!
  Dovahkin: Girly Scream
  Alduin: You buttface! (echoes) buttface... buttface...
  • Which leads to a brief cutaway to two butt-faced farmers each wondering if someone called him.
  • Alduin then proceeds to Info Dump on the Dragonborn, represented by his lines overlapping each other while the subtitles for each line fly randomly across the screen, including both a Freeze-Frame Bonus that says "explains his entire plan+backstory," and an easily missed "Parthunaax is wack," before concluding with:
  Alduin: And now...my brains is full. I have feasted upon many great crayons. RAAAAH!
  • To which the Dragonborn turns around and...
  Dragonborn: FUS ROH (farts)
  Alduin: coughs What have you done?! What twisted words have you created with your mortal anus?!
  • Cut to a title screen: "Congratulations! You have defeated the Skyrims!"
  Alduin: You are so wack, Dovahkiin.
• From the same episode (Skyrim 18), there's the intro sketch involving a Creator Cameo of Mans1ay3r as a Redguard in his underwear ^note Mans1ay3r himself is black in real life stealing Organic Vegan Child-Friendly Gluten Free Religious Chickens (worth 1 gold but sold for 999), which he picks up in his arms and immediately gets arrested by a guard who identifies him as Mans1ay3r and says he has "enchanted armor" protecting him from Mans1ay3r's foul witchcraft that makes people say stupid things. He's immediately transported to a tropical beach where he lays in the water in his underwear.

Other videos

• From the GTAV video:
  Lamar: How am I gonna knock a bad bitch if I ain't got a penis?
  Franklin: WHAT?! *brakes sharply* Fuck, homie. Dat's sexy!
• When giving Faith money in the The Wolf Among Us video, the "character reaction" box says, "You chose not to kill the prostitute to take back your money... like you always do in GTA."
• From the L.A Noire Gamerpoop: "This is America." "Let's change the subject." "This is Germany???"
• "Mrs. Slut, Gloria SLUT" "Heyyyyyyy—"

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