Funny / Fanfic Theater 3015 Multiparters

For one-off riffs and samplers, go here.

For the main page, go here.

The Catch

• From Part 1:
  • Ring and Fallen's Bait-and-Switch in the beginning, making it look like the riffers are riffing a Chatoyance fic instead.
    Ringmaster: Did you really think we were going to go straight into another Chat fic this soon?
    Fallen Prime: We’re not fucking stupid. Here, you get kudzuhaiku instead.
  • Bloody Velvet tells Rye about the time she killed a stallion by tearing off his "potato sack" with her magic.
    SC276: I’m pretty sure he would’ve died quicker than that, if you tore off the potato sack he was wearing and cut off all his limbs and head in the process.
    Ringmaster: Uhh, SC, I don’t think that’s the kind of “potato sack” she’s talking about…
    SC276: Right, it’d have to be starched as all hell to do that. Must’ve been a wimp, to die from a series of bag cuts. Probably wouldn’t survive one battle.

My Brave Pony: Starfleet Humans

• From Part 4:
  • "'No!!' shouted Sapphira. Without the rod, the power ceased, and the satellite stopped firing."
    SC276: ...Really? Your weapon of mass brainwashing doesn't have a functional battery?!
    Topher: Taking "batteries not included" to a whole new level.
    MrSing: Once again the day is saved by budget cuts.

The rest of A Displaced Monster

• From Part 1.5:
  My dad is about to object, but I push him out the window. I was about to follow, but then I hear a crack.

  JofY: "Daddy! No!!!"

  SC276: [Plankton] "Daddy, yes!"

Moonlight, Moonlight, Let my Fangs Gleem Tonight

• From Part 1:
  • The first line of the riff.
    Fallen Prime: What the fuck is that title.
  • "Then they both drifted off into sleep."
    Mononeko: To quote JofY: "Riveting!"
    Crazy56U: Don't speak ill of the dead, Mononeko.
    JofY: But you haven't died yet...
    Crazy56U: (chuckles) Says you.
  • Behold: a particularly bad case of inconsistent timing:
    It was middle of the night when he stealthy got out of town avoiding the guards around town. It was mid day when he smelled the smoke from the town. It took him about two hour to get back to town.

    Crazy56U: (deep pained sigh) Okay. Let's break that down. It was in the middle of the night when you decided to leave. It was the middle of the day when you went back. It took you two hours to return. From what you just said, we went from around midnight to around noon IN TWO FUCKING HOURS! (kicks the table over in anger; screams)

    Dark Angel: Perhaps this clip will help emphasize how you feel.

Seventh Planet / The Mirror Spell

• From Part One:
  • "And I had no idea what I can find as well, it could be dangerous."
    SC276: Do you not have guns, space MARINE?
    CaptainPipsqueak: SPEHS MAHREEN!
    ThatUnknownPony: Knowing Reaper, or at least the little we know of him, he might think it's dangerous to fire those things, so he keeps them locked away.
    Mononeko: These marines are too incompetent to use real guns, so they gave them fakes to make them feel special. He just realized that fact.
    ToonGuy: So that's why his division is named the Special Snowflake Infantry. Should have known something was up from the name alone.
    Crazy56U: Well, it generally is a dangerous business, going out your door. You may even stumble across terrible sequels. But besides the will of evil, you got nothing to worry about.
  • "From my point of view it is quite impractical that the whole system of the planets stood and fell together with the leader, but so be it If like it."
    Dark Angel: Really? No comment on the fact that it's FUCKING MAGIC?!! *rolls eyes*
    Mononeko: He's a intergalactic marine-person. It’s magic vs. science and shit like that...that's not an excuse, isn't it?
    Dark Angel: Nnnope.
    Crazy56U: Reaper never passed Astrology, that's what’s going on here.
    Scarlet: That or, like Crazy, he got confused and went to astrology - a type of fortune-telling - instead of astronomy, the one that's an actual science. He probably still failed, too.
    Crazy56U: Insult me all you want, I know what I said'.
  • "I was just reminding her the fact, we were near to Las Pegasus"
    ThatUnknownPony: That's... not even close to the Everfree. But of course this is Reaper, he never learned Astrology, how could he know geography?

The Siren Chronicles

• Things get off to a good start right off the bat with Scarlet repeatedly swearing vengeance against Crazy56U (since, as Ring reveals, he's the one who led to this multiparter happening), while Crazy56U repeatedly (and angrily) insists Ring is at fault for deciding to do said multiparter.
• From Part 1 ("a new world"):
  • At one point, the story suddenly shifts to italics without warning.
    JofY: *falls over* Fuck’s wrong with this room?
    SC276: (holds onto his chair is it slides downhill)
    ToonGuy: *claws madly at floor* OH GOD DAMN IT, THIS WAS PRETTY LOW ON THE WAYS I WANTED TO DIE.
    Mononeko: *is sliding down the floor*Hey! This is fun! Wheeeeeeeee!
    Crazy56U: After all, she’s seen “Return of Harmony”; she knows about his bullshit.
    ThatUnknownPony: I think he could even call bullshit on her! And can please somebody hold me?
    Topher: This is why I wore a seat belt!
    Dark Angel: *rides down the floor on a sled*
    CaptainPipsqueak: WHEEEE! I'm talkin’ all bendy-like again!
    Topher: Actually... that kinda looks like fun. *unbuckles seat belt, slides directly into a conveniently placed potted cactus*
    Dark Angel: Hey, you found my cactus! Thanks!
  • "It will be out when I'm done with my three other stories that need to be completed[.]"
    Crazy56U: To be? Or not to be? That is the question.
    Mononeko: Not to be.
    Crazy56U: You've upset Tommy.
    Mononeko: I did not.
    ThatUnknownPony: Well he's fed up anyways.
• From Part 1 ("my little falls: mystery is magic"):
  • "'It's simply my magic reincarnated into a being' siren said[.]"
    Ringmaster: ...she has a fucking Stand now?
    Crazy56U: Because that's what this Gravity Falls crossover needs! JOJO.
    ToonGuy: You have all these ideas for a crossover and THIS WAS THE ONE YOU WENT FOR, AUTHOR? For shame!
    Dragonborne: Agreed. And this is exactly why I started paying more attention when I write out chapters for my crossovers.
    ThatUnknownPony: Look on the bright side: Dio can always come and crush her with a steamroller.

My Brave Pony Starfleet Humans: Starpops

• From Part One:
  • Behold: a cameo.
    "All this made her feel worse, and her friends felt sorry for her."
    "..."

    Mononeko: Hey Crazy, another stray ellipsis! *looks around* He's not here, is he?

    Crazy56U: (pokes head in) I steer clear of Mykan, dude. (leaves)

    SC276: Wimp!

    ToonGuy: COWARD! In his place, I shall take this stray ellipses home with me!

    Crazy56U: (pokes head in) You're just mad because I'm being smart. (leaves)

    SC276: ...honestly, I can't argue with that.
• From Part Three:
  • "ACT EIGHT"
    MrSing: Act eight... Isn't that this fic's modus operandi?
    CaptainPipsqueak: No. The author's however...
  • "That gave Artie an idea[.]"
    BittplexMutt: A terrible idea.
    Dragonborne: A wonderful, terrible, awful idea.
    CaptainPipsqueak: ~You're a dumb one, you stupid shit...~

Springtrapped

• From Part 1:
  • "She said, walking over to a large curtained off area where they had told her the finished products would be."
    JofY: It's an animatronic curtain.
    Crazy56U: In two weeks time, "The Rock-afire Explosion" will be ready to perform.
    CaptainPipsqueak: Ah, the 80's. Good fucking riddance.
  • "'Arrg! And you both be a dirty as pirates rollin in dirt' Foxy chimed."
    Calico103: Er, because pirates are known for doing that...? Arrg...?
    CaptainPipsqueak: Well, they do keep jars of the stuff.
    SC276: [Foxy] "Or anythin' rollin' in dirt fer that matter."
    Crazy56U: Foxy, now's not the time to be discussing your kinks.
  • "Spring Lock stood in front of the suit with a cocky smile plastered on his face. 'Behold, ladies and gentlecolts. I give you, Spring Bonnie.'"
    JofY: So, he made himself a wife.
    Crazy56U: Hey now, it could very easily be a husband, we don't exactly know how Spring Lock swings yet...
    Dragonborne: Uh, animatronophilia confirmed?
    CaptainPipsqueak: [Spring Lock] "Hey, it's a lifestyle choice, okay? Don't judge!"
  • What is the response to Spring Bonnie?
    The room was silent for just a moment longer, before Trevor decided to ruin it with words that made Spring Locks smile turn into an annoyed frown.

    BittplexMutt: [Trevor] "I'd hit that."

    Crazy56U: [Trevor] "Are you fucking kidding me..."
    "I don't get it. Why did you build another Bonnie...and why is he... different?"

    Calico103: No, he didn't "ruin it", he asked a valid question.

    ToonGuy: Good is bad and bad is good in Bad Crossover Fic Land.

    Crazy56U: Apparently being different is bad. We are learning so much about Trevor tonight...
  • "[']I especially liked Freddy, he reminds me of Berry the bear.'"
    SC276: Isn’t the bear named Harry...?
    Crazy56U: Berry killed and replaced Harry. Fluttershy has yet to notice.
    CaptainPipsqueak: Are you trying to say she thinks all bears look the same? That's racist! *ding!*
    Crazy56U: You mean "bearcist", you fucking drunk.
    CaptainPipsqueak: Stoned, actually. Codeine is fun.
• From Part 2:
  • How does SC276 recap the first part?
    SC276: Last time on I'm Too Salty From My Recent Computer Troubles to Think of a Parody Title, another fucking human-pony relationship, decisions that make no sense, buried past being unearthed because it was buried for no good reason, and apparently the robots are going to be stalked by a serial killer robot possessed by a dead guy honestly Time Cube makes more sense at this point.
    Crazy56U: Dear God.
    CaptainPipsqueak: Holy run-on sentence, Batman!
  • "[A]nd marched to the far back of the shop, using his horn to light the way."
    CaptainPipsqueak: Unfortunately, that was where he and the marching band parted ways, since there wasn't enough room for all of them. He blinked away a tear as they retreated over the rise, 'oompah'-ing with every sad step.
    Crazy56U: (rubs temples) oh goody, Pip's high again...
    CaptainPipsqueak: Fine; I'm not sharing, then.
  • "I always knew he had a darker side to him,"
    Crazy56U: Because fuck it, someone had to...
    Mononeko: Damn you Crazy, now I’m beginning to see parallels between Darth Vader and this jerkwad.
    CaptainPipsqueak: A whiny manbitch in a can?

Sonic Multipart sampler

• Pretty much everything involving the Spiky Blue.

Past Sins Original Edit

• From Part 1:
  • "Tonight, you shall be your own mare,"
    Crazy56U: (sassy) That's right honey, you need no pony to tie you down, you an independent mare with her own aspirations! (snaps fingers) ...I think I got too into that bit...
    Topher: mmm-HMMM!
    ToonGuy: DAAAAAAAAMN.
    Mononeko: Nu-uh!
    CaptainPipsqueak: You ain't takin' no shit from nobody!
    Crazy56U: Please stop, I already regret it.
    CaptainPipsqueak: You dug this hole, you will sit in it.
  • As a result of some vague phrasing and it not being clear if it was contained, it became believed that the Nightmare Moon Fan Club almost burnt the Everfree down with their ritual.
    ToonGuy: Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Mostly the fact that everything was now on fire.
  • "The central bowl then began to billow with black smoke, the shreds of Nightmare Moon starting to truly burn."
    SC276: Then what were they doing all this time, pretending?
    JofY: Yes. This was all a game of pretend.
    Crazy56U: Thanks guys, this just got sad.
  • When the cultists decide to attack the Royal Guard:
    SC276: Roll initiative!
    Dark Angel: Why do police officers tell criminals to freeze when they know they never will?
    Topher: It makes them feel *puts on sunglasses* cool. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    JofY: ...3/10.
    Topher: ... *douses JofY in gasoline and sets him on fire*
    Dark Angel: ...8.7/10.
    Nox: (picture of Jon holding the "10" scorecard)
    Crazy56U: That makes up for you invoking that damn CSI meme, Topher.
    Topher: Well, I just thought Joy needed to *puts on sunglasses* lighten up. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    Crazy56U: Now you’re pushing it.
    Topher: Well it sounds like you need to *put on sunglasses* shove off. YEEAAAAAAAAAH!
    Dark Angel: I'd destroy those sunglasses if I didn't assume you had a backup pair... or the power of plot convenience gave you another pair.
    Topher: I guess you could say I came... *puts on sunglasses* Pre-paired. YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    Crazy56U: (shoves Topher to the ground)
    CaptainPipsqueak: Topher kept annoying Crazy until Crazy knocked him over. I guess *puts on sunglasses* push came to shove.
    Topher: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    Crazy56U: (kicks the table over in disgust)
    ToonGuy: Huh, so this is what it looks like to have a mental breakdown.
    SC276: OK, everyone had fun? Yes? Back to riffing.
    Topher: Oh, yes. We’ve had our PUN!
  • In response to one of several strings of equal signs:
    Dark Angel: It's such a shame. So many math problems will now go without answers.
    Crazy56U: Why was 6 afraid of 7...
    Dark Angel: Because 7 is a psychopathic cannibal.
  • "'You mean... like this?' Nyx replied, her own horn starting to glow... only for her cup of tea to sky rocket up into the ceiling, smashing to pieces as drops of tea rained across the room."
    Crazy56U: YEAH, FUCK YOU, TEA!
    SC276: Please let Scarlet come shout at you, please let Scarlet come shout at you...
    Crazy56U: I second this motion. #ScarletComeHome
    Calico103: As if I needed to associate this more with Fire Emblem.
    Mononeko: ...how do you even?
    Dark Angel: This is perhaps the most exciting thing in this fic so far.
    ToonGuy: INTENSE.
• From Part 2:
  • "Hey, that's enough!"
    Crazy56U: (hums "Crazy Bus")
    CaptainPipsqueak: (hums "Crazy Bus")
    Topher: (is confused)
  • "Thankfully the answer to Nyx’s question was short[.]"
    Mononeko: [Cheerilee] "Yes."
    Topher: [Cheerilee] "No, Honey Mustard cannot be used as a nasal decongestant."
    SC276: [Cheerilee] "Horseradish cannot be used as a nasal decongestant either!"
    ToonGuy: [Cheerilee] "It's not my job to care!"
    CaptainPipsqueak: [Cheerilee] "I plead the Fifth."
    Crazy56U: [Cheerilee] "When the ratings quickly declined during the second season, ABC decided against giving it more episodes past the initial 13-episode order. Also, it can be surmised that the 2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike causing the first season to be truncated down to nine episodes didn't help much."^note The question in this case implied to have been "Why did 'Pushing Daisies' get cancelled?"
• From Part 4:
  • "Sarcastawhat?"
    Dragonborne: Show of hands: who knows somebody that doesn't know what basic sarcasm is?
    Crazy56U: Does Bloo from "Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends" count?
    Dragonborne: No, Crazy, imaginary friends don't count.
    Crazy56U: DAMNIT
  • "Oh, you silly spy. You thought you could hide in the school house, but nopony can hide from Pinkie Pie."
    SC276: [Pinkie Pie] "The fact that I killed Dashie for cupcake ingredients and replaced her with a magically-autonomously-animated meat puppet with nopony noticing is proof of that!"
    CaptainPipsqueak: [Rainbow Dash] "Wait, what?"
    Crazy56U: [Pinkie Pie] "But, quite frankly, I'm doing the world a favor! I've heard stories about the Rainbow Factory, you asshole! I KNOW WHAT CRIMES RAINBOW HAS DONE!"
    CaptainPipsqueak: [Rainbow Dash] "Wait, what?"
    Topher: Pinkie then chucked a molotov cocktail through the window, killing the spy and a small child who needed to use the bathroom.
    CaptainPipsqueak: The child was the one who hired him, so it wasn't the tragedy one would think.
• From Part 5:
  • "Oh... of course. Spike, please take Nyx into the kitchen and start dinner."
    BittplexMutt: [Spike] "Um.. but I'm not that good of a cook."
    CaptainPipsqueak: [Twilight Sparkle] "But what about that incredible dinner last night?"

    [Spike] "I burped it in from Canterlot. I can do more than just letters. Didn't you wonder why I was so worn out? Hurt like fuck, too..."

    Crazy56U: [Twilight Sparkle] "I have the feeling Celestia is going to be here a while; I haven’t eaten all goddamn day."
    SC276: [Nyx] "But that’s your fault for skipping Sugarcu-"

    [Twilight] "LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER."

    Crazy56U: [Princess Celestia] "Uh, I thought she was your cousin?"
    SC276: [Twilight] "I'LL CALL MY COUSIN-DAUGHTER WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE."
  • "No, I truly had no idea where I was, what was going on…who I was."
    Crazy56U: [Nyx] "I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see."
    SC276: W-wait, you can't use "Amazing Grace" in a Nightmare Moon fanfic!
    Mono: Try to stop him, punk.
    Crazy56U: Thank you.

    [Nyx] "This song is in the Public Domain. That's why we used it twice."

  • "And the Diamond Dogs were willing to put forth so effort for the gemstones? To what end?"
    Crazy56U: Basically think of this like you would playing Cookie Clicker: they are willing to spend hours on end doing monotonous shit in order to buy a new time machine upgrade because seriously, this is taking too goddamn long. ...I think my metaphor makes sense, how about you?
    Mono: That made as much sense as Mykan's blog posts.
    Crazy56U: how fucking dare you

The rest of Sonic - EG Rainbow Rocks

• From Part 1.5:
  • When the villain "Darkness" turns out to actually be "Sonic.EXE":
    "I used to go by the name Sonic EXE,["]

    Crazy56U: GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY SPOON

    Mononeko: One: Hey Crazy! Two: FUCK YOU!

    ThatUnknownPony: Three: RING, YOU FUCKER, I WILL END YOU!!!

    SC276: ...my answer was better.

    Topher: THAT SHIT-SNORTING, CUNT-CHEWING, HORSE-FUCKING SON OF A TWO-CENT WHORE ON COUPON NIGHT! THAT FUCKING DOES IT! *Whips out a flamethrower, sets fire to the entire room and everyone in it* DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! BUUUUUURN!!!!

    CaptainPipsqueak: I'm sensing anger. It’s good that you’re letting it out, but maybe a bit quieter?

    Topher: buuuuuurrrrn. *sets Pip on fire*

    ToonGuy: I regret all of my life choices.
  • After Rainbow Dash becomes a psuedo-Power Ranger, Crazy56U chimes in with the following:
    Crazy56U: I would like to say, at this juncture, that when Ring told me about what goes down in this fic (including a bit that, well, you will know about when you get there), I declared that, by all accounts, this would actually debunk "The Mysterious Death of the Wonderbolt Leader" as the dumbest fic ever ran on FFT3K15. And it gets worse.
• From Part 2:
  • "Fluttershy then flew after her, took out her Morpher, aimed at Frost, and yelled, 'Kindness Blast!'"
    CaptainPipsqueak: I'mma fuck you up with hugs!
• From Part 3:
  • After Strike is revealed to be "the son of the multiverse":
    Crazy56U: (picture of Steve and Mailbox looking stunned)
    SC276: what the fuckity fuck fuck does that even mean that’s literally impossible that would be be infinite blood
    Mono: ...I’m just gonna let Viggo Mortensen speak for me.
    ThatUnknownPony: ...Welp, we have a winner. STAND ASIDE, NYX! MOVE ALONG, LIGHTNIGHT! STEP AWAY FROM YOUR FUCKING THRONE, GRANDRULER!!! WE HAVE A NEW KING FOR THE TITLE OF "WORST MARTY STU IN THE HISTORY OF FANFICTION", AND HIS NAME IS STRIKE!!!
  Everyone gasped. "How can this be!?" Strike asked shocked,

  SC276: THAT'S WHAT I'M FUCKING ASKING

  ThatUnknownPony: MARTY STU MAGIC, THAT’S HOW!!!

  SC276: STOP SHOUTING, YOU’RE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME
• From Part 4/Finale:
  • "A bright white beam of light shined over them. The Chaos Emeralds suddenly grew and became the Super Emeralds. Sonic and Shadow realized what Tempest was doing."
    ThatUnknownPony: ...Okay, let me correct myself: They’re going Hyper-
    Crazy56U: DISCLAIMER: You are not having a nervous breakdown, what happens next is actually happening.
    SC276: Brace yourselves, men!
    Dragonborne: *dons a chain mail suit* This count as bracing myself?
    • And what is that thing Crazy56U is talking about? Sonic and Shadow, along with Twilight and Sunset, Fusion Dancing.
      SC276: ...OK, now I'm mad.
      Calico: ...Thanks for the disclaimer there, Crazy. This is absolutely insane.
      Crazy56U: Remember when I said this was now officially the dumbest fic we ever ran? Yeah...
      SC276: I don't think we needed this to decide that!
      ThatUnknownPony: *is left speechless, only despair remains*
      Mono: Based on Steven Universe apparently having a lot of lesbian subcontext, I am actually pretty okay with this. That, and this fic made my brain go numb in the last part already.
      Topher: ...I SHIP IT!
    • "After the beams of light disappeared, Darkness was the first one to get a look at what happened, and a sudden shock went right onto his face."
      ThatUnknownPony: As in, a lightning was fired at him and he died, free from this story.
      SC276: I can't believe Sonic.EXE is the most relatable character in this story now.
      Crazy56U: The Author is a miracle worker. Just not in the manner of good miracles...
  • After Darkness throws a "Dark Chaos Speed Force Bomb":
    Ringmaster: Okay, at this point you're just randomly throwing words together. ...Not to say that that hasn't pretty much been this whole fic so far, but still.
    Crazy56U: Yeah, I mean come on, at this rate you might as well start cribbing from Dragon Ball for your stupid attack names, and on that note- (snaps fingers)
  Darkness threw his enormous energy bomb at them.
  "CHAOS KAMEHAMEHAAAAAA!"

  Calico: Kamehamehareyoukiddingme. ...And no, I'm not sorry.

  SC276: I WAS JOKING!!

  ThatUnknownPony: D-Did you... *raises hands* I give up. This fanfic has decided to blatantly become Dragon Ball Z. Not even Mykan is this creative-bankrupt...

  CaptainPipsqueak: No. Just...no.

  Mono: ... Okay, fuck you! Fuck! You!

  Topher: Hang on, I'm going to need a REALLY big swear for this. *inhales mightily* FUCK!

  Crazy56U: Shut the fuck up.
  • During the final musical number, SC276 is given the floor to sing "Climax Jump". When the song wraps:
    SC276: Yeah, I know, I'm awesome. No applause, just money.
    Crazy56U: (tosses Pip's wallet)
    CaptainPipsqueak: You know I don't carry money, right?
    Crazy56U: You're right. (tosses Ring's wallet)
    Ringmaster: Try again, I don't either.
    ThatUnknownPony: (tosses Mono's wallet)
    Mono: *catches his wallet and punches Unknown in the face*
    Ringmaster: Eh, it's no Judgement (Shinpan), but it'll do. *tosses SC's wallet*
    Topher: *chucks a jar full of change at SC's head*

MLPokemon Redone

• From Part One
  • A running gag throughout the riff concerns characters being threatened by Pidgeys armed with switchblades - Pidgeyblades.
  • "She looked around for a shadow hoping to find any sign of the man."
    Crazy56U: As opposed to finding any sign of the babe.
    SC276: What babe?
    Crazy56U: The babe with the power.
    SC276: What power?
    Crazy56U: The power of voodoo.
    SC276: Who doo?
    Crazy56U: You do.
    SC276: Do what?
    Crazy56U: Remind me of the babe.
    SC276: ...That was not worth five bucks.
    Crazy56U: Well, it's a good thing I never paid you.

The rest of My Little Sonic Friendship is way past cool

• From Part 1.5:
  • "just been doing stuff so here we go with chapter 4 hope you like it"
    Crazy56U: ...oh, right, this was part of that shuffler I skipped. ... ...mind cluing me in as to what I missed? Please?
    Ringmaster: Absolutely nothing of importance.
    Crazy56U: Okay, good, so I'm all caught up.
    Mono: If you really wanna know: Sonic gets into Equestria, races Rainbow Dash and is laughed at while drowning. That's literally all you missed.
    Crazy56U: ...laughing at someone while they are dying, that's... ...that's something I wish I saw...
    Topher: Well, just keep your eyes on me.
    ThatUnknownPony: After everything in that horrible crossover, I think I wanna see that drowning scene.
  • A Rule of Three Running Gag: the start of each chapter prompts Crazy56U to turn it into "It's Always Sunny in Equestria"^note "Sonic Burns Down Town Hall", "Pinkie Kills Princess Celestia", and "Twilight and Fluttershy Sell Spike For Drugs", respectively.
    ThatUnknownPony: ...can't top that. *gives Crazy a "You Win" ribbon*
    Crazy56U: (grabs ribbon, jumps onto table, pumps fist) I'm on top of the world, ma!
  • "Fluttershy: Thanks Sonic."
    Crazy56U: The saddest combination of words ever devised by humanity.
    Ringmaster: Nah, at this point I think that's "The Power Rangers are almost undone by a sexting scandal".
    Crazy56U: What about "[A] character jerks off a bull. (To be fair, he thought it was a cow.)"?
    Ringmaster: Close second.
    Mono: Wasn't that a joke in Ice Age 3?
    Crazy56U: Unless there was a masturbation scene I repressed from my memory, nope.
    Mono: Well, not really a masturbation scene, but...
    Crazy56U: "funny scene". ...yeah, the uploader is a liar.
    CaptainPipsqueak: But it's the internet! Nobody lies on the internet!
    Crazy56U: Yeah, uh huh, Buster Baxter called, he agrees. ... ... ...wait...
  • "The Dragon then used his tail to smack and keep Sonic down."
    Mono: Sonic is a fly now.
    ThatUnknownPony: Sonic was now a splat of blue and red on the floor.
    Crazy56U: And then an explosion of rings erupted from Sonic's rectum.
    SC276: ...I don't like my joke for this part. Next person, go.
    Crazy56U: Okay. SO SONIC KEEPS SHITTING RINGS-
  • "The hedgehog then got some parts and used his superspeed to create a big ramp outside of Ponyville"
    Mono: With just three planks and a paper clip. Because he was just that awesome.
    Topher: PFFT! Child's play. I built THIS *holds up a rocket launcher* out of two corn flakes, a toilet paper tube, and a rocket launcher!
    Crazy56U: (holds up a working flux capacitor) Five Tic Tacs and a staple.
    SC276: (holds up a bomb) A bomb. (BOOM)
• From Part 3 (Finale):
  • Once the Diamond Dogs make their precence known during the Nightmare Night chapter, Crazy56U decides to take advantage of the situation:
    As they arrived to the center of town they saw ponies screaming in terror the reason was the Diamond Dogs.

    Crazy56U: Well, I just got an idea for a bit. Just another future song, lonely little kitsch...

    Mono: Don’t drag my favorite Bowie album into this!

    Crazy56U: Too fucking bad, Skippy.

    Dark Angel: Where do you think Hasbro most likely got the name “Diamond Dogs” from?

    Mono: You shut up or I’ll bring out the pitching machine again!

    Crazy56U: Yeah, Angel, I'm sure you're not protected, for it's plain to see...
    • "Sonic: Diamond Dogs?"
      Mono: Yeah, those things from Metal Gear.
      Crazy56U: Yeah, don’t you know about them? The Diamond Dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees. Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins with kill appeal.
      SC276: That sounds oddly more like Slenderman than these guys.
      BittplexMutt: Please don't give this author any ideas.
      Crazy56U: Thanks for that, David Bowie is spinning in his grave now.
      SC276: Wasn't he already?
      Crazy56U: And what is that supposed to mean?
      CaptainPipsqueak: Quite a trick, seeing as he was cremated.
      Mono: Details, details.
    • "Fido: Forget this I'm out of here!"
      BittplexMutt: That’s the most sensible thing anybody has ever said.
      Crazy56U: And so, Fido decides to bail. The elevator's broke, so he slides down a rope out of the fic.
      CaptainPipsqueak: Oh Tarzie, go man go.
      Crazy56U: Stop stealing my bit.
  • "and they all started to sing The Heart Carol."
    SC276: I have no idea what that is, so I’ll improvise something. ~It beats and pumps blood, such an important thing...~
    Mono: *ball drops in the background*
    SC276: MY SONG IS BETTER
    Crazy56U: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Cutie Bloom

• From Part 1:
  • "Day 1: Hardly Working"
    Crazy56U: Or "Working Hard"? (stupidly grins; does the finger guns)
    Mono: ...This is gonna be the highlight of our comedy tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
    Crazy56U: Fuck you, I have more material.
  • "Ready for some more crusading? I think today's our lucky day!"
    Mono: And then she won the jackpot.
    SC276: Sweetie Belle has... a full house.
    Crazy56U: The fact that today was Friday the 13th eluded Scootaloo.
    Nox: [Scootaloo] "I have this lucky rabbit's foot; just don’t tell Fluttershy we have this."
    Crazy56U: Meanwhile, at Fluttershy's cottage, Angel was in the process of bleeding out.
  • At one point, Scootaloo snaps and attacks Diamond Tiara:
    "Scootaloo!" Cheerilee stood over both of them,

    Mono: GODDAMMIT, CHEERILEE! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!

    Crazy56U: [Cheerilee] "I don't care if she's a bitch, there is no way I can justify a child being murdered to the cops! That one fanfic has done terrible things to my reputation!"
  • "Applejack took her little sister and her friends to the Sugarcube Corner where Pinkie Pie always worked delightfully."
    Mono: Except when she was off her meds.
    SC276: As opposed to the other Sugarcube Corner, which was a cabaret.
    Crazy56U: [Pinkie Pie] "(is in the middle of a breakdown) GOD TAKE ME NOW! (throws a rolling pin through a window) FUCKING TAKE ME NOW!"
  • It is in this riff where, via an unnamed elderly character antagonizing Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, we are introduced to Jackoff Johnny: a bowler with a golf club cutie mark who is seemlingly determined to be the biggest asshole around.
    This, if anything, stung Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo hard.

    Crazy56U: [Sweetie Belle] "(is covered in bees) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

    [Jackoff Johnny] "(is armed with a beehive) Yes, my pretties... Kill..."
    [...]
    They cried in each other's hooves.

    SC276: I get it. You’re sad. Please stop crying. You can only tug my heartstrings so much before I feel like tugging your heads off.

    Crazy56U: And so Jackoff Johnny, having accomplished his goal of making children cry, smugly went down to the park to yell at squirrels.
  • During Apple Bloom's song in "Day 6: Not So Friends", Crazy56U "[has] a horrible idea", and accompanies it... by singing the "Jealous" song from "Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys". Mono accompanies with an occasional "Back to menu".
    Crazy56U: I did that by ear, my life is worse now.
    Mono: Back to menu.
• From Part 2/Finale:
  • "'Because of her, I... I took my revenge out on the wrong fillies...'  Rainbow Dash was trying to hold back tears." 
    Crazy56U: The corpses of Snips and Snails are currently buried somewhere in the Everfree.
  • "Diamond Tiara quivered and nodded her head.  'Diamond Dazzle Tiara![']" 
    SC276: DOUGLAS YANCEY FUNNIE!
    Mono: JAMES ISAAC NEUTRON!
    Crazy56U: PABLO DIEGO JOSÉ FRANCISCO DE PAULA JUAN NEPOMUCENO MARÍA DE LOS REMEDIOS CIPRIANO DE LA SANTÍSIMA TRINIDAD RUIZ Y PICASSO!
    Terabyte: Back. To. You. Mai.
  • "But it was such a long way down while the dragon was airborne, so she shed tears out of fear"
    SC276: BECAUSE THERE HASN'T BEEN ENOUGH CRYING ALREADY THIS STORY
    Crazy56U: Come on, Apple Bloom, stop being head over heels and shout for help, even if it will be your famous last words as you wind up falling down to the ground and becoming broken and cold, I know that everybody wants to rule the world, what with this being the working hour and all, but I believe it's not enough of a mad world that they would be big enough fuckheads and suffer the children. I believe that is good advice for the young at heart.
    Mono: Call me mellow, but I believe this entire thing is just God's mistake. Still, everybody loves a happy ending, so I guess you're right.
    Crazy56U: I love you.
  • During Celestia's musical number, Crazy56U sings "Bob", a song made up entirely of palandromes. It winds up breaking Topher's brain.
    Topher: *has gone cross-eyed* taco cat... dog god... evil did I dwell, lewd I did live...
    Crazy56U: (pumps fist) YES, I DID IT, I BROKE HIM!
  • "This is why Apple Bloom was bullied and it is very sad that some fillies and colts with cutie marks at young ages may think lowly of those without cutie marks."
    Topher: "And when the mark-butted ponies had frankfurter roasts, or picnics or parties or marshmallow roasts, they never invited the plain-butted ponies."
    Nox: Did you just reference The Butter Battle Book? If so, LEAVE DR. SUESS OUT OF THIS!
    Topher: IT WAS THE SNEETCHES YOU UNCULTURED WAFFLE FUCKER!
    SC276: YOUR BELLY HAS NO STAR
    Crazy56U: STOP FUCKING SCREAMING
    Topher: FUCK YOU
  • Because of how long the fic was taking to end, and the fact that SC276's fic for the Multipart Blitz, "From One World to Another", hadn't started yet, SC276 unwillingly puts forth a theory:
    SC276: Did this fic eat mine?! Is that why it hasn't shown up yet?!
    Crazy56U: Fic cannibalism. Something that is disturbingly possible in this day and age.
    Dark Angel: I'd honestly believe that at this point.

From One World to Another

• From Part 1:
  • "I am dead."
    Mono: Thanks for the clarification!
    Crazy56U: Wow, this was a short fic... Guess "Cutie Bloom" did eat it...
  • "I use Utopia's effect to negate your attack. Light Wing Shield."
    Topher: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE GIANT MONSTER FIGHTS BORING?
    SC276: WELL I BOUGHT MY DINOSAUR, WHICH EATS FORCE-FIELD DOGS!!
    Crazy56U: YOU CAN'T DO SHIT, I HAVE THE OLD MAID! I WIN! (kicks the table over)
• From Part 2:
  • "It was easy to convince everypony that I came from a distant land and Yu-Gi-Oh was largely normal."
    SC276: [random pony] "You're telling me your entire society revolves around a children’s card game?"

    [Zach] "Basically."

    [random pony] "...Clearly I’m not drunk enough."

    CaptainPipsqueak: [Twilight Sparkle] "Not enough moonshine on the planet for that..."
    Crazy56U: Luckily, this version of Ponyville is inhabited by the mentally insane.
    Giginss: Largely normal? Come at me, bro! Magic: The Gathering will beat Yu-Gi-Oh in every way!
    Crazy56U: Nice job misspelling "Cards Against Humanity", friend.
  • "All along the way I explained how to play yu-gi-oh."
    Crazy56U: Not a lot to explain, honestly, all you do is cheat.
    • Later on, when a duel sees someone discarding their entire hand into someone else's graveyard:
      Giginss: "Sent the rest of his hand to my graveyard" is not legal Yu-Gi-Oh.
      Crazy56U: Why are you surprised, Yu Gi Oh is 100% cheating, I just fucking explained this... (ball drops in the background)
      Giginss: My attention span has been damaged as a result of reading this boring thing.
  • After being exposed to the real Yu-Gi-Oh card "Zubaba Buster", Topher theorizes that the cards are developed in part by "taking a baby to the zoo".
    Topher: [Creator] "What's that stripey one called Emma?"

    [Baby] "Zu.. Zuba! Zubaba!"

    [Creator] *Frantically scribbling* “Good job!"

  • When it comes to light that Dinky can see Davey's Duel Spirit, Kuriboh:
    Crazy56U: Plot twist: Dinky is mentally insane.
    BittplexMutt: Ah, like everyone else.
    Mono: ...Is that really that much of a plot twist?
    Crazy56U: It's my joke, I say it is.
  • "Night's thoughts will be in italics and Sky's will be like this."
    SC276: ............THOSE ARE ITALICS WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
    Topher: ...I'm starting to think the author is intentionally fucking with us.
    • Don't worry, there's a proper explanation.
      SC276: (checks) ...OK, so this is a point where Night Sky's parts are both bold and italic. But we don't keep bold formatting because we use it. Fucking hell, Ring...
• From Part 3/Finale:
  • "I use Mystical Space Typhoon["]
    Mono: 3000?
    Crazy56U: (dead-eyed glare) ... (assholish smirk) ...so, how are ya enjoying the Netflix revival, Mono?^note  Mono lives in The Netherlands, a country in which the MST3K revival isn't available on Netflix
    Mono: SONOFA- *anger-induced groan*
    Crazy56U: YOU DUG THIS HOLE, YOU WILL SIT IN IT!
  • When it's revealed that Davey has an Element:
    Mono: Okay, now I'm pissed. This just became a seventh element story, folks!
    Crazy56U: (is sad) ...why couldn't we have Davey murder Happy Appy in a duel...
    Mono: Be honest. Would Happy Appy being in this story improved it in any way?
    Crazy56U: Yes, because at least things would be happening... (buries head in hands; cries) i want happy appy fuck you author (sobs)
    SC276: (stares mouth agape, dumbfounded)
  • "A goblin appeared and looked at me with a smile that would have made the Joker happy."
    SC276: (picture of the Joker looking exasperated)
    Mono: (picture of the Joker looking bored)
    Crazy56U (picture of the Joker looking enraged)
    Topher: (picture of the Joker looking annoyed) I swear to god, if one of you motherfuckers uses Suicide Squad joker I will destroy you all.
  • "Yay, final boss battle!"
    Crazy56U: I hope you die from eating too much corn.
    Mono: GO EAT A... 40 CALIBER GUN BARREL MADE OUT OF BLACK LICORICE, AUTHOR! ...Wait, what? Corn?
    Crazy56U: He doesn’t deserve a creative death.
    Mono: But... Isn't dying from eating corn-
    Crazy56U: STOP TALKING STOP TALKING STOP TALKING
    Mono: -fuck it, let's move on.

Mighty Morphin' Kaiju Rangers: An EQG Crossover

• From Part 1:
  • "Up next was a yellowskinned"
    Crazy56U: Oh noooooooooooooooooooooo...
    ThatUnknownPony: Doctooooor Coooonnoooor’s claaaaaaasssss...
    Mono: God's fist, it's Equestria Girls (Rewritten) all over again...
    CaptainPipsqueak: Don't you go stealing my curses, Mono.
    Crazy56U: Doubtful, Charlie Kelly isn't writing this...
    Mono: And how do you know that for sure?
    Crazy56U: (deadly serious) I've seen enough It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia to be able to tell.
  • For a majority of part one, the full title wasn't revealed. The fic was even called "???: An EQG Crossover" in the doc title. And here is why that was:
    "Alright guys, ready?" Junior said. "READY!" "We got aliens to stop! IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!["]

    Crazy56U: OH COME THE FUCK ON

    Mono: YEP, YOU FUCKED UP NOW!
• From Part 2:
  • "'Where did this guy come from?[']"
    BittplexMutt: Where did he come from, where did he go?
    Crazy56U: Where did ya come from, Cotton Eye Joe?
    Mono: *starts playing a fiddle*
  • Apparently between parts, Crazy56U wound up watching the "Rollergator" Rifftrax with Ring.
    'I sense a great disturbance in the force![']

    Mono: *glances at Crazy* Are you gonna link the video or should I do it?

    Crazy56U: (sad) I'm not in the mood, I watched the Rollergator Rifftrax with Ring last night, and now I legit want to die.

    Mono: Kay.
    • And then later on, when his renaming of Junior into "Gamera" gets derailed by Gamera actually being a character in the fic, Crazy56U reacted in kind:
      Gamera was bored out of his skull.

      Crazy56U: ... ... ... ... (seethes in rage) fuck yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou

      Mono: Same here, buddy.
      All he could do on Solgell Island was sit, fish, and wait until Junior and the others sent him word of their battles.

      Crazy56U: Glad to see that Rollergator (because, again, fuck you) can't be bothered to buy a Switch.

      Mono: Maybe he just doesn't have the money.

      SC276: Wait, did he show up before? I can't remember any of their actual names because I have a hard time with Japanese names I can't hear.

      Crazy56U: Rollergator appeared in the hearts of children.
  • "Mothra soon stepped in, 'Calm down Xenilla. Lea's affliction can only be cured by another of the divine moth lineage, like myself.[']"
    SC276: Being covered in starfish requires divine intervention to cure?!
    Mono: ...I never thought I'd read that sentence in my entire life.
    Giginss: Taken out of context, that would make for a very weird story.
    CaptainPipsqueak: Taken in context makes for a very weird story.
  • The crossover train has no brakes.
    X only smiled and said, "It only hurts when I smile".

    SC276: And now the fucking Joker's been dragged into this!

    Topher: I refer you to the Joker sketch we did back during the Yu-Gi-Oh crossover.
    The two were enjoying each other's company until the Controller came into the room.

    SC276: and now Thomas the Tank Engine what the fuck is wrong with this story
  • When Junior unlocks his Super Mode:
    And in a flash of light, Junior's old ranger suit was gone, replaced with a new armor that seemed to radiate power.

    Crazy56U: "Specifically, radiation! Everyone now has cancer! :D"

    Mono: The weird part is that I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be happy now or not. On the one hand, his OC's got cancer. On the other hand, the Mane 7 now have cancer... this tangent got really dark really fast.

    Crazy56U: But on the plus(?) side, the story is now interesting.

    Mono: It took 13 chapters, but the interesting part has to start somewhere.
  • "Junior then readied his newest attack, 'It's over Ghidorah! Ultimate Atomic Blast!',["]
    Crazy56U: WOULD YOU STOP GIVING PEOPLE CANCER?!
    Mono: Honestly, that’s the best sentence I've read all week.
  • "Sunset started off with a spinning bird kick, but Junior countered with a shoryuken!"
    Mono: How to write a Street Fighter match. Step 1) Make sure your fight includes the word "shoryuken". The End.
    Crazy56U: Final Smash! Overkill! Final answer! TOUCHDOWN!
    SC276: PERSONALLY I PREFER THE AIR
  • At one point in the story, Junior starts singing "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys to Sunset. Mono replies to this by singing Cannibal Corpse's "Hammer Smashed Face" (a song about a guy whose face gets smashed with a hammer) over it. The sheer Mood Dissonance is worth a chuckle or two.
    • Meanwhile, Crazy56U sang "The Bitch is Back"... which bites him in the ass when Sunset responds:
      "That was so beautiful.", Sunset said in awe.

      Mono: Well, thanks. Never knew you were into that.

      Crazy56U: Sunset likes being called a bitch. Oh God.

      Mono: Congratulations, Crazy! You made this riff even more disturbing!

Equestria chronicles : the lesson of a human adaptation

• From Part 1:
  • Right off the bat, the Author makes a bold claim.
    i dont think anypony ever done a sci-fi fanfiction

    Crazy56U: Wait, wh- (the ball outflow pipe explodes) JESUS CHRIST (is buried in balls)

    Dark Angel: There's not enough duct tape in the world to fix that.

    Mono: Hey now, he is right in a sense. No pony has ever written a sci-fi fic before.

    SC276: Only 'cause they haven’t tried yet.

    Crazy56U: (still buried under the ball pile; muffled screaming for air)

The First 24 Chapters of Living The Dream

• From Part 1
  • In one of the weirdest cases of timing ever, this part came out around the time Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back was announced:
    Fallen Prime: Ladies and gentlemen... part one of the first twenty-four chapters of kickass222urmom's "Living the Dream." May God have mercy on you all.
    Ringmaster: Without further ado... well, what he said. This is going to be fun.
    JofY: Kickass222urmom? I'm genuinely surprised there isn't another random number at the end of that with that level of maturity!
    Mono: Oh boy, this is gonna be a doozy! Let’s get this gravy train rolling, baby!
    Crazy56U: (looking at iPhone) They're bringing Bubsy back, are you FUCKING- (looks up) Wait, what's going on?
    • "Yeah, don't worry guys, [the 2012 Mayan apocalypse]'s not going to happen." I laughed.
      JofY: "What's the worst that could happen?"
      Crazy56U: After all, this riff is happening in 2017.
      SC276: And if the world survived 2016, it can survive anything.
      CrownedSkull: But can we all survive the return of Bubsy?!
      CaptainPipsqueak: Considering as I was there for Bubsy 3D, I wouldn't get my hopes up.
      Crazy56U: Real talk, if the Return of Bubsy brings about the end of the world and we all die... ...I'd be down for that.
      Topher: *Dejectedly throws away inspiring monologue about how a Bubsy reboot could be an opportunity to amend the errors of the past and give the creators a second chance to make a quality product*
  • "One of the main things I need to figure out is how to make money. If I'm going to live here and own my own place,"
    Crazy56U: And so Lancelot sought out the fanciest cardboard box he could afford-
  • Behold: Lancelot finding a cupcake Rainbow left and being quite literally Too Dumb to Live:
    I picked it up and ate it in two bites, tasty. It has a small plain bitter taste to it with a hint of sour.

    Crazy56U: ... ... ... Rainbow poisoned the cupcake, didn't she...

    SC276: Devil's advocate: Rainbow could just suck that much at baking.

    Dark Angel: Or both.
    Wow, I'm starting to feel light headed.

    Crazy56U: ... ... ... (pinches bridge of nose) You fucking dumbass...

    SC276: We'll see if I ever advocate for that asshole again.

    Mono: What the shit?
  • Out of all of the riffers, Crazy56U takes the most offense to God deciding to bring Lancelot back to life after Rainbow accidentally killed him. So, of course, Ring decided to pipe up:
    ["]And died due to the jealousy of another. I think that earns you a redo."

    Crazy56U: NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T IF ANYTHING HE DESERVES TO BE CHUCKED INTO THE VOID!

    Ringmaster: Why are you so surprised about this? *pulls out a tape recorder* I told you months ago. *hits "Play"*

    Tape Recorder:

    No, this is ponyfic we're talking about, I mean the one from *shudder* Living the Dream. ... I... think I know that one... ...did some OC fuck Rainbow in that, and they had a child? ... No, Rainbow TRIED to fuck the OC, then murdered him (accidentally) when he rejected her. ... ...well, then.

    Crazy56U: ... (begins twitching in rage; takes tape recorder and smashes it) Fuck yoooooooooooooooooooou...
  • "Yep, I defiantly hate doctors[.]"
    Crazy56U: YEAH, FUCK YOU HEALTHCARE, THE AUTHOR'S OC GIVES NOT ONE FUCK!

• From Part 2
  • "That's defiantly the Carousel Boutique."
  JofY: Nope, Twilight's library. You missed it.
  Crazy56U: How the fuck can a building be defiant?
  Calico: It yells at people who get its name wrong.
  Mono: [Library] "I'm called Golden Oak, fuckstick!"
  CaptainPipsqueak: Sugarcube Corner is on probation: it has a pretty filthy mouth and a lot of kids visit the place. It just took one girl asking her mother what a 'cocksucker' was to get itself up shit creek.
  Topher: Fluttershy's cottage is so far away from town because it needs to stay at least 200 yards away from children.
  • After it's established that there's more bronies in Equestria:
    They are spread out among Equestria, but there are four in Ponyville counting you."

    Ringmaster: I can tell you right now that this is a blatant lie.

    JofY: In this fic? What a surprise!

    Crazy56U: So, what, there’s actually five?

    Ringmaster: If we’re talking this whole fic, not just the first 24? Try fifty.

    Crazy56U: So, talking the first 24 specifically... ...like five?

    Ringmaster: Saying exactly how many would be spoilers, but let me just say that very soon you will all get tired of this fic being nothing but new OC introductions peppered with moments of utter insanity.

    Crazy56U: ...so... ...like five, got it.
  • The Alternate Character Interpretation pays off.
  "How do you know about that?"

  Ringmaster: [Lance] "Well, just to let you know, she tried to rape me in public a couple nights ago, and, oh yeah, accidentally murdered me yesterday. You should probably stay the fuck away."

  Crazy56U: [Mysterious Stranger] "Well, shit, I didn’t know- wait, hold on, I thought you looked familiar, you're that pony who constantly lies, aren't you?!"

  Ringmaster: [Lance] "Yes, but- you're not going to believe a word of this, are you..."

  Crazy56U: [Mysterious Stranger] "(muttering) Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought. (shoves Lancelot) Why don't you fuck off, you jackass! Rainbow wants to hang out with me, and I have no time for your shit!"

  Ringmaster: [Lance] "(mumbling) Why don't you go fuck off too, cumstain."
  • It eventually comes to light that Mysterious Stranger (David) has a white mark underneath his wing... which gives way to one of the more unfortunate renamings in the history of FFT3K15:
    Okay, now it fits him.

    Crazy56U: I'm severely resisting the urge to call him "Cumstain" now...

    Ringmaster: Let's compromise: Mysterious Cumstain.

    Crazy56U: ... ... ...fuck it, why not.

    Mono: ..."Mysterious Cumstain" sounds like a Friday night gone wrong...

    Topher: Or gone horribly right depending on your tastes.
  • "I know of a place where we can both live, or until you get your own place."
    Mono: *pulls out the sexy sax*
    Crazy56U: (shoves a fish into the sax) No, no.
    Topher: *pulls out the sexy accordion* THERE IS NOWHERE TO SHOVE A FISH, MORTAL! WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
    Crazy56U: ... (shoves a fish up Topher's [CENSORED FOR COMEDY])
    CaptainPipsqueak: *commences the Fish-Slapping Dance*
  • "She lead us to a room with a single pony model stand, a nice looking suit on it."
    JofY: Please don't fuck the mannequin…
    Crazy56U: Oh, goody, Slenderpony is in this. I want to eat glass.
    Mono: At your service. *smashes a glass vase and force feeds Crazy the shards*
    Crazy56U: THAT'S NOT MY MOUTH OH GOD MY EYES MY FUCKING EYES
    Topher: FINALLY, SOMETHING WITH ENTERTAINMENT VALUE!
  • In stark contrast to Crazy56U's absolute meltdown over the fic indirectly associating itself with his sister's dog, when Mellow Haze is introduced towards the end of the part, and gives his real name:
    He reached out with his right hoof, "Names Greg."

    SC276: You leave Steven Universe out of this!

    Calico: Not for long, dood!

    Mono: PonyMaker it is!

    Crazy56U: ...and that’s the name of my dad. ... ... ...and I do not give a fuck in the slightest, so fuck it, Wallydo it is.

My Little Unicorn: Magic is Believing

• From Part 2:
  • When it comes time for the first song of the part, Mono attempts to Opt Out... only for Crazy56U to remind him of a promise he made. What follows is what Crazy56U himself calls "the whitest thing either of [them] have ever done": the two of them doing "Rappin' for Jesus", complete with the occasional air horn to get around certain N-Word Privileges.
    • Not only does Mono get the part of Mary Sue, but the Netherlands-based riffer gets the "And I'm proud to be an American!" line.
  • "Being is very bad.["]
    SC276: Lightning disagrees with the concept of existence?
    Crazy56U: I can't fucking believe Lightning McQueen is the most relatable character.
  • When everyone starts to sing in the style of "Oh What a Day", Crazy56U chooses to counter with "Everyday is Exactly the Same" by Nine Inch Nails.
• From Part 3:
  • SC276's Running Gag of having music equipment explode at the end of a song has consequences.
    Crazy56U: (is now on fire) GODDAMNIT OW
    Nox: Where's the fire extinguisher!?
    Topher: *is currently on fire* I used it to propel my swivel chair down the stairs. Why, do we need it?
    JofY: Huh... Good thing the explosion launched me back here.
    BittplexMutt: Bravo! Everyone!
    Mono: I don’t know what the fuck just happened, but all I know is that I still have a bag of marshmallows waiting to be toasted! *roasts marshmallows on Crazy’s burning body*
    PanzerThiefZero: Oh goody! I love s'mores!

My Immortal (actually Handbook for Mortals)

• From Part 1:
  • At the end of the intro, SC276 Pages Down, refusing to read the story. When one of the infamous lines from chapter 4 doesn't pay off and keeps going on for several periods, with many of the riffers growing increasingly worried...
    SC276: *pmoohw* ...Oh hell, not again.
  • Due to the appearance of characters named Charles and Mac, respectively, Crazy56U abruptly decides to rename the main character "Sweet Dee" in order to recontextualize the book into being It's Always Ebony in Las Vegas.
• From the Part 3 recap:
  • "'So, REO Speedwagon, you like playing with fire now?' I asked.
    Crazy56U: ...okay, does this count as the story becoming Jojo? Do I need to call this "It's Always Ebony in Jojo" now?
    BittplexMutt: Well considering Speedwagon was mentioned and the use of tarot cards... yes.
    SC276: ~I FEEL SUPERNATURAL~
• From the Part 5 recap:
  • "And here I was beginning to think my love spell wasn't working."
  Crazy56U: I thought the brainwashing thing was a joke...
  SC276: Author, when I said to listen, I didn’t mean like this!
  Mono: Congratulations! You got even creepier now!
  • Due to how the recap was structured, at one point Mac makes a remark to Sofia... and we never learn what the remark was.
    Crazy56U: If you want to know what Mac's remark was, just pretend.
  • Because he only started being part of the recaps in this part (due to Ring having opted to do ARG-related stuff instead), Crazy56U decides to retroactively institute a Drinking Game concerning SC276 repeatedly bringing up mind control.
    I shrugged at Jackson; I wasn't really aware we needed to talk about intro music but, if Charles said so . . . .

    SC276: ...and Magic-boy has higher-priority mind-control magic, which probably pisses Jackson off to no end.
  Crazy56U: Here's fun a game I'm retroactively inventing: take a shot every time SC brings up mind-control. You may die, but hey, you'll have fun!
  • The Character Shilling Train has no breaks:
    Crazy56U: It's always fun when an Author decides to lick their lollipop, ain’t it...
    SC276: I'm not sure that exactly applies if the author's a woman... Then again, I don't want to know what she''s licking in that case.
  • "He stood directly in the middle of the platform, pausing before the main spotlight hit him."
    BittplexMutt: It then blinded his eyes.
    SC276: As opposed to what, Bitt, blinding his fingertips?
  Crazy56U: So, an- (ball drops in the background) ... ... ...so, anyway[.]
  • "'Call my mother,' I muttered right before my eyes rolled back in my head and I passed out completely."
    BittplexMutt: "I have to yell at her some more."
    Crazy56U: [Charlie Kelly] "...uh... ... ...y-yo mamma so fat, she has her own zip code?"

    [Dennis Reynolds] "(legitimately confused) Charlie, what the fuck a-"

    [Charlie Kelly] "Yo m-mamma so fat, the last time she did a jumping jack, Atlantis sunk into the sea?"

    [Dennis Reynolds] "(unceremoniously drops Sweet Dee) Charlie, that's n-"

    [Charlie Kelly] "Yo mamma so dumb, she gave birth to you?"

    [Dennis Reynolds] "(gets up) Charlie, did you honestly think 'call my mom' meant making 'Yo Mamma' jokes?!"

    [Charlie Kelly] "... ... ...y-y-yo m-mamma-"

    [Dennis Reynolds] "DEAR GOD"

    SC276: (claps)
  • "And now, Charlie Kelly makes Mac feel like a dumbass. A sentence that never could be associated with "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", but fuck it, here we are."
• From the Part 7 (Finale) recap:
  • During the recap, SC276 and Crazy56U are quite vocal about their dislike of the [adult swim] ARG because, since it was starting its third act during the time the recap had to be written, Ring was too busy so they ended up doing it for the third time in a row.^note Crazy56U in particular wanted to blow off doing the recap because of this, but only decided against it because SC276 asked him for help.
    SC276: I understand I have a very broad idea of "highlights," but I did my best considering LOOK WHAT I HAD TO WORK WITH.
    Crazy56U: Seriously, if there is a lesson one should take away from this recap section, it's that you should never take part in an ARG, lest you abandon your friends to doing your work for you, and you make them mad at you. Fuck Adult Swim.
  • From the riff proper, when Tom takes to the mic during Charles and Della's wedding:
    Tom from Jackson's band

    SC276: "-whatever it was called-"
    got on the mic.

    Crazy56U: [Tom] "(panel of Popuko freestyle rapping)"

    SC276: how dare you associate jammin Popuko with this idiot

    Crazy56U: (the exact same panel, but bigger)

    SC276: There, that's better.
    • Meanwhile, in the recap, Crazy56U clarifies that he did it out of spite for SC.
      SC276: I fucking knew it.

Sonic - EG Friendship Games

• From Part 1:
  • "'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now you all know what happens when you don't respect me!' Eggman said speaking over a microphone."
    SC276: You recycle plans because fanfic writers are uncreative as fuck?
    ThatUnknownPony: You do exactly the same as when they respect you?
    Crazy56U: Oh goody, Robeggmanik's cyberbullying people again!
    Mono: Eggman just had a Mykan fantasy.
    BittplexMutt: So, business as usual then.
  • "They knew that Eggman was destroying their world."
    Crazy56U: This is the way the world ends. With Sonic not doing a goddamn thing.
    ThatUnknownPony: Yep, this is pretty much the plot of Sonic Forces.

The PER: Michelson and Morely - The Speed Of Right

• From Part 1:
  • To the group's infinite shock, apparently Chat knows the term "bukkake".
  SC276: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS
  Mono: No, Chat! Please do not talk about bukkak.
  Crazy56U: ... ... ...but how does Chat know what bukkake is?
  Captainpipsqueak: Do you really wanna know? 'Cause I sure don't.
  ThatUnknownPony: AND NOW HENTAI IS INVOLVED! THIS IS OUR LIVES NOW!
  PanzerThiefZero: (smashes head against the invisible wall to delete this image)
  • "Wasn't it illegal to inflict pain on the hypernet?"
    Crazy56U: Unfortunately, no, cyberbullying isn't illegal. Go and pillage.
    Mono: You heard Crazy, everyone! Go to Mykan's fimfiction profile at once!

Kingdom Hearts: Equestria Girls

• From Part 1:
  • Given how niche of a topic Kingdom Hearts is, and that SC276 and JofY are the only people truly familiar with it, it's understood that the rest of the people involved in the riff have no idea what they are walking in to:
    Crazy56U: Hello, friends. It's me, your friendly neighborhood me. If you, like me, have no fucking idea what the plot of Kingdom Hearts is and want to reasonably participate in this multiparter, I have a video for you.
    Mono: Pffff, who needs videos? I can totally riff this despite knowing nothing about Kingdom Hearts! ...right?
    ThatUnknownPony: Fun fact: Despite knowing bits about the plot and all that, this would actually be my introduction to the series as a whole. This should be twice as fun...
    PanzerThiefZero: ...welp, I was about to make a quip about how I never played a Kingdom Hearts game before and I was probably, but at least the video Crazy linked at least got me up to speed... or at least make it not as confusing as it was before. So thanks, Crazy.
    SuperMapslover: I've never even played Kingdom Hearts before, and I already know that this is going to suck.
  • With the riff not even past the Author's Note, Crazy56U and JofY get into a spat over Smash Bros DLC:
    Author's Notes:
    This is my first time writing a Kingdom Hearts fic, friendly criticism is welcome.

    Crazy56U: Okay: the day Sora gets into Smash is the day Hell freezes over, and people who keep claiming he's part of the DLC are foolish. ... ... ...wait, you meant criticism of the fic...

    JofY: ...H-he's viable...

    Crazy56U: He's partly owned by Disney, Disney alone makes my statement valid, move on.

    JofY: Ha! You think my inane stubbornness will go away with simple facts? Little do you know, I still think Geno is possible as well!

    Crazy56U: Joke's on you! I STILL SAY WALUIGI'S HAPPENING!

    Mono: Well, I guess the fans finally got Ridley after fuck knows how many years, so maybe in the distant future you'll get your wish.

    SC276: We're not even at the fic yet...

    ThatUnknownPony: This is already looking promising.
• From Part 2:
  • Right at the outset, SC276 admits (via the Gru plan meme) that February 2019 was all out of wack due to riffs running past the cutoff point due to the fact they forgot February is short.
    Push riffs back two days
    Let longer length of last week of month cover the difference
    Forget February doesn't have a longer last week
    (Gru looks at paper in shock)
  • "She's like a sister to me!"
    Crazy56U: ...is it bad that I legitimately want to know how Sister Dash would play out in the Equestria Girls universe?
    BittplexMutt: Why would you want to know that?
    ThatUnknownPony: Well, that involves wanting to know how Mare Do-Well would play out in the first place... And now I’m actually curious.
    SC276: Do you guys even interact in this universe?
    Mono: To answer your question: (picture of EG!Scootaloo riding a flying, ponied-up EG!Rainbow Dash)
    Crazy56U: How did you forget about Anon-a-Miss, SC?
    SC276: I wasn’t asking you.
    Crazy56U: That doesn’t negate my question.
    CaptainPipsqueak: They're barely important in the show. Why would they waste time on them here?
    Crazy56U: I wasn’t asking you.
  • After Sunset announces to Sora her intention of defeating Twilight after taking pictures of the gymnasium getting trashed (after Sora and Donald's fight against Snips and Snails):
    "Oh, THAT'S where you're wrong, Keyblade Wielder," Sora was taken aback by those last two words, "that miserable excuse for a Princess took away MY rightful place,

    Mono: No, you fucked off out of Equestria, remember?
    I'm just doing whatever it takes to get it back." Sunset grinned sinisterly.

    Crazy56U: [Sunset Shimmer] "I am the moral victor."

    [Sora] "That's not how that works!"

    [Sunset Shimmer] "YOU'RE NOT HOW THAT WORKS!"

    SC276: You're never gonna let that go, are you...

    Crazy56U: You wouldn't let go of "Equestria Games"...

    BittplexMutt: [Sunset] "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a movie to finish.. again."
• When Sora and Donald decide to (secretly) assist the others in cleaning up the gym with the barest amount of effort required^note which amounts to filling a trash bag and blowing up balloons, Crazy56U summarizes their impact in the overall plot thusly:
  Crazy56U: Sora and Donald could have been easily replaced with a leaf blower and nothing would have changed...
  Mono: Funnily enough, you could say that for the rest of the fic as well.
• When it comes time for the dance, Sora uses some magic to conjure up a blue, black and silver attire... while Donald goes missing.
  Crazy56U: ...is the implication that Sora’s bullshit lightshow turned Donald into his clothes? ... ... ...does that mean Sora technically skinned him?
  SC276: Actually, given how Drive Forms work... yeah, basically.
  Crazy56U: EXCUSE ME?!

On a Cross and Arrow Anniversary Riff (actually "a Cross and Arrow Doomsday")

• From Part 1:
  • To start the riff, Ring admits that due to how packed the schedule is, he had to push the Anniversary Riff to the closest avaliable spot. Which so happens to be the start of April, something that immediately puts Crazy56U on edge. So naturally, midway through the first chapter:
    "Manehatten sounds WONDERFUL darling!" Rarity crooned. "Seriously Applejack, it never ceases to amaze me that you've been to such a capital of glamour and class!"

    Ringmaster: Ah, right, I forgot the whole “this is sort of a sequel to a fic that nobody remembers” thing.

    Crazy56U: Oh son of a bitch, I know what game you’re playing...

    Mono: Please do not fucking tell me...

    ThatUnknownPony: I can see where this is going...^note Funnily enough, Unknown had managed to accidentally guess the twist first in the intro, mentioning being reminded of "that horrible NC crossover".

    Ringmaster: ...What? I'm not kidding. ...Ugh, the cover art on that has its proportions just messed up enough that it looks... wrong. Anyway, what did you think I was talking about?

    Crazy56U: The game is still being played, sir, you will not get it out of me beforehand.
    • And so, after the first chapter, the charade is dropped:
      Wwwwwwwwwww

      Crazy56U: Annnnnnnnnnd one... (holds hand) Two... Three... (snaps fingers)

      ThatUnknownPony: ...What was that supposed to d- (turns into ashes)
      one day applejack and her family

      Mono: W-wait, what happened to the fic- *looks down* Oh my fucking Christ, Ring.

      Crazy56U: ANNNNNNND YEP, THAT WAS IN FACT THE GAME RING WAS PLAYING, EVERYONE, WELCOME BACK, “RED APPLE” GUY!

      SC276: APRIL FOOLS, FOOLS!

      Crazy56U: Well, on the plus side, you didn’t feel the need to do fucking algebra again...
    • "So yeah, if this is your first experience with the guy, all you need to know is that he likes stealing from On a Cross and Arrow and flunked out of kindergarten, hence the typesmanship driving off of a fucking cliff."
  • "Some of these, she could see adding to her normal repertoire."
    Crazy56U: [Twilight Sparkle] "Huh... ... ...what the Hell is 'moonshine'?"
    ThatUnknownPony: [Twilight Sparkle] "So immortality is possible? ...Spike, I need your assistance!"
    BittplexMutt: [Twilight] "Crossing over Dimension spell? That's weird."
    CaptainPipsqueak: [Twilight Sparkle] "This Cthulhu guy sounds interesting. Maybe I'll invite him over someday."
  • A certain Running Gag hits a stumbling block due to pronoun usage:
    then stoped for a moment and thinked about it for 10 seconds flat

    ThatUnknownPony: Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough for her to process any thought.

    CaptainPipsqueak: Rainbow Dash felt a burst of fury flow through her for an unknown reason.

    SC276: [Rainbow Dash] “''FUCK YOU AND MY MEMES”

    Crazy56U: Shouldn’t it be “FUCK ME AND M-” (is punched in the throat; loud coughing fit)

    Topher: *Pulls out a handkerchief, starts wiping blood off his knuckles*
  • What's a bad indicator for how bad the actual writing for "a Cross and Arrow Doomsday" is?
    then rainbow blitz cancel dusks talking "woah woah woah what did you just say dusk"

    Mono: When the characters themselves can’t make heads or tails of your dialogue, you know you’ve fucked up.

    ThatUnknownPony: They’re certainly more aware than the author is.

    CaptainPipsqueak: Words were used and we were all confused.
  • "there you go little mac that will be 2 bits"
    Crazy56U: Man the economy sucks.
  • At one point, Crazy56U reveals that, due to needing to look up the original fic "for indiscloseable reasons", he discovered that the text that was pasted into the Google Doc has some wonky-ass line spacing, and soon devolves into massive paragraphs, meaning Ring fucked up again. When Ring then reveals that he didn't, and that it's just a result of how poorly the fic was written,^note "All the line breaks are in the right place, this fic just looks like a giant paragraph anyway so they’re basically invisible." Crazy56U clarifies:
    Crazy56U: You picked this fic for April Fool’s Day, you still fucked up.

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