Funny / Empyre

• In Lords of Empyre: Hulkling practically everyone responded positively to the scene where a fight breaks out in a club where Teddy is protected from Skrull fundamentalists by Raksor and Bel-Dann:
  Raksor: Protect the Emperor!
  Bel-Dann: Protect the intergalactic savior!
  Performer: Protect the hot twunk with the enormous arms!
  • Later in the same issue, during a fight on a spaceship, Billy protects Teddy from a Kree assassin whose response to him is "I want that twink obliterated!"
• Empyre: X-Men: #1: The Cotati touch down on Genosha where thanks to Scarlet Witch's attempt to resurrect the populace is now filled with flesh-eating mutant zombies. Since the Cotati are living plants, the zombies shouldn't be a threat to them, right? Wrong.
  Explodey Boy: There were sixteen million on this island who died...and about two million of us were vegetarians.
  • This is then followed by a splash page reading "[Alien] Plants vs. [Mutant] Zombies" in the same clinical font used in all of Hickman's infographics.
  • At the end of the issue the Hordeculture jump into the fray...and thus we get another page reading "[Alien] Plants vs. [Mutant] Zombies vs. [Old] Ladies".
• Empyre: X-Men: #4: Demon-possessed Magik starts proclaiming herself the new queen of the island, calling everyone present her slaves. The expressions of Exodus, Mr. Sinister and Kid Omega are quite amusing. And then the spell that animated the zombies ends, bringing Illyana back to her senses.
• As Wanda explains what she's done, Dr. Strange's reaction is I Need a Freaking Drink. We then have Wanda listing each dark arts bit she did with Strange downing another shot with every item listed.
• What Conan and Venom do after tearing the Cotati Army invading Mexico a new asshole in Empyre: Savage Avengers? Go out for beer and tacos!
• The revelation that one of the most powerful reality-warpers in the Marvel Universe and the Emperor of the Unified Kree and Skrull worlds had a royal wedding in a Vegas Chapel!
  • The minister and pianist at the wedding were based on the creative team of the original Young Avengers series!
• Empyre: The Avengers #3: Things are okay for now, the Cotati are repelled, and just as Black Knight tries to address Man-Thing, he notices the guy is already walking away without even acknowledging him.
• From Fallout:
  • Franklin seeing his dad in Iron Man armor.
  Can we keep it?!
  • Spider-Man can't help but gush about being on the blue area of the moon. Wolverine, who has a house on the Moon, tells him to quit it and pretends to not know him.
  • When Hulkling tells The Profiteer to buzz off, he calls her Karen.
  • Spider-Man and Wolverine took the Richards kids and Jo-Venn and N'kalla to Disneyland. Wolverine. In. Disneyland. And he threw up on the Mad Tea Party ride. Spidey has pictures, too!
• Abigail Brand gives Carol Danvers a slap for leaving Alpha Flight out of the loop with the Cotati's garden on the moon. The Kree and Skrull officiants of the Royal Wedding cheerfully offer to lend the two a gladiator arena and laser swords. And this is their idea of helping.
  • Later on, the Skrull officiant says this sort of thing is a good omen.
• Teddy asking Roberto da Costa if he has some "five-dimensional chess move" ready if he and Billy ever go rogue. Roberto clarifies he doesn't, but he would sic Champagne Robot on them. America Chavez then jumps in to say she'd hit them with a chair.