Funny / Dream SMP: Season Two

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All spoilers will be unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

The Reconstruction Arc

• During their rebuilding of L'Manburg, Fundy, Quackity, and Tubbo discover the Button Room as Fundy reads a sign that reads "TOMMY TUBBO FUCK ERET". Without any understanding of the conxtext^note It's part of the anthem and the full line was "With Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, fuck Eret", with the last part being due to how Eret betrayed the others, he destroys the sign, believing that it meant the other kind of fuck.
• Fundy tries to get coal off of Phil by attempting to scam him in an auction. He tries to convince Phil a grass block is valuable, then he tries to convince him that he has a golden shovel with Sharpness 6 (which is impossible to get in vanilla), then he tries to say the shovel has Silk Touch and Fortune on it (which are mutually exclusive), then he repeatedly tries to convince Phil that the chests he's throwing down have items in them. Phil is having none of it.
  Phil: You're trying to fool someone whose LAST NAME is 'MINECRAFT'!
  • Fundy also tries to claim that a furnace he puts up for auction contains netherite, a very valuable material. What it does contain, however, is dried kelp... decidedly not valuable. When Phil tells it like it is, Fundy's last resort is to put Schlatt's netherite sword (which he dropped when he died and Fundy picked up) in the furnace... which Phil promptly grabs and runs off with.
• While rebuilding his house, Tommy decides he wants a wife, and asks Phil — who is married — for advice. It doesn't go well.
  • Turns out Tommy's strategy for flirting is to just sit in the city center and stare at people, judging those who make eye contact to not be ready.
    Tommy: Worked plenty of times.
    Phil: Name one time it worked.
  • Phil explains that, if you want to get married in a church, the priest has to approve you first. Tommy immediately shoots that idea down.
    Tommy: Phil, no offense, but no priest is gonna approve of the things I get up to.
  • "If I WAP-ed hard enough, I'd get a girl."
  • Tommy, at one point, asks what he should name his wife. Phil's reaction really sells it.
  • Phil advises Tommy to get to know the person he wants to marry first, but Tommy says he doesn't want to.
    Phil: You can't just marry a stranger. I mean, you can marry a stranger, but it's kind of weird, and usually will end up in divorce.
    Tommy: No, I– I– Believe me. I will never get divorced.
    Phil: (snorts) Yeah, I mean, with the attitude you've got, how could anybody NOT want to stay with TommyInnit? He'll pick a great name for you!
  • At some point, Tommy asks to speak to Phil's wife, Kristin, to ask her for advice meeting women.
    Tommy: Well, how did you meet Phil?
    Kristin: Um... We met on– on Twitch! (laughs) So, I don't know, I guess meet women on Twitch?
    Phil: Oh, don't say that!
    Tommy: (bursts out laughing) OKAY, KRISTIN, KRISTIN, JESUS! There has been SIGNIFICANT proof throughout the years that that is a horrible, horrible, horrible idea!
  • After Kristin leaves, Wilbur joins the call, still clearly shaken up from having recently died and come back as a ghost. Tommy really doesn't care, though.
    Wilbur: Imagine you're on a long, long road, right? And the road's going on a really long time, and then you turn a corner and suddenly there's nothing forever and you're never allowed to see your family again. That's death.
    Tommy: ...okay, but how do I get a wife, though?
  • Tommy eventually decides he hates wives and wants to get rid of all of them.
    Tommy: Phil, question for a friend, how do I get my friend a divorce without him knowing?
  • Wilbur whispers to Tommy that they should gaslight Phil into thinking he doesn't have a wife. Tommy immediately pulls up a tab to google what gaslighting means.
• Doubles as a Heartwarming Moment, with Quackity's... slightly overdramatic reaction to the "I <3 Penis" sign being griefed to say "Big T <3's Penis". So... initially, he was happy to see the sign because it was just before Schlatt's funeral, but then he saw the changed sign, and the background music stops. Several silent moments later, he lets out several Big "NO!"s and starts cursing out Techno (even though cc!Techno would never grief the sign due to being a relatively PG content creator when compared with most of the server). When his chat informs him it was Tommy, Quackity asks them to blame Techno instead because "if it were Tommy, what I'm about to do is not allowed" [sic].
• Schlatt's funeral was taken seriously by absolutely no one other than BBH.
  • The fact that Quackity showed up cosplaying as his dead abusive ex (RP-wise, of course).
  • Bad accidentally saying "togay" instead of "today".
  • Everyone robbing Schlatt's coffin of his body parts. With said coffin containing a wig.
  • In the middle of Tubbo's speech, he notes that no one in attendance really actually liked him, then added that Puffy, who only joined the SMP after Schlatt died, was excluded from the statement. Puffy then affirms Tubbo's initial statement that no one, not even her, like Schlatt... because there could only be one New Yorker on the server.
    Tubbo: (in response) Oh– well, that works.
    • Later in the same speech, Tubbo throws in a statement that Schlatt "liked his slurs" without further elaboration. In the midst of everyone's laughter, Tommy asks Bad what a slur was, and Tubbo asks Bad to clarify.
      Bad: ...Tubbo, keep speaking, please.
      Quackity: You got any examples?
  • During Quackity's speech, he mentions, initially solemnly and "jokes aside", how being Schlatt's VP meant he was taught "a lot of important things in the world" and he saw a side of Schlatt that no one really knew... then does a complete Mood Whiplash by shouting "AY, THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S DEAD!" while cannibalizing on Schlatt's heart. It's less funny in hindsight knowing that "side of [Schlatt] that [he didn't] think many of [the other attendees] really knew" can allude to something much more sinister and traumatic, but it doesn't take away much of the cathartic factor or hilarity of the scene. It's also a testament to how much everyone on the server hates Schlatt, since Quackity gets away with this without any repercussions.
  • During Sam's speech, he brings the attendees over to a picture of Schlatt, to which everyone else responded by rotating the picture around.^note The picture is composed of four maps put into item frames and was added into the game with a plug-in, and players can rotate items in item frames around. Quackity declares, in response to this, that Schlatt was rolling in his grave.
  • Bad allowing Quackity to keep one of Schlatt's eyeballs "as a souvenir".
  • At the end of the funeral, Quackity's song celebrating Schlatt's death and him burning in Hell, for two reasons. First of all, the fact that he refused to tune his guitar because the song was about Schlatt of all people. And second, because he sang off-key with Auto-Tune and a voice-changer on.
• "Listen to me, we have to be fuckin'... fuckin'... Not sexy. Stealthy!"
• While looking through Ghostbur's book collection, Tubbo finds a book called "How To Sex 2" by Tommy. Ghostbur claims he found it in a barrel at the bottom of a river. Tommy is absolutely mortified, insisting it wasn't written by him. Judging from the content of the first page, it definitely was.
  Ghostbur: First page... "How to sex. Babies be like: 'Yo, I came out the verjina'. Hey, this is How To Sex 2, TommyInnit's novel. How To Sex 1 is so very unavailable."
• While discussing his and Fundy's prank on Puffy, Tommy has a bit of a slip of the tongue.
  Tommy: Puffy's gonna be pissed off at us, but we can take Pussy. P– uh–
  (Tommy and Fundy both start laughing)
• Dream, George and Sapnap did a stream when they were all extremely sleep deprived and giggly. This led to things like Dream screaming "I'M A LITTLE PISSBABY" with a high-pitched voice changer, George pretending to be Santa Claus, and this conversation.
  Dream: I have your delivery outside.
  Sapnap: Yeah, yeah, yeah–
  Dream: The 652 dildos that you ordered.
  Sapnap: Um... I– I thought that was supposed to be like, discreet. You're not really supposed to... talk about that.
  Dream: (wheezes, giggles) 652–
  Sapnap: Yeah, I'll be– I'll be out there in a second, my friends are gonna be so happy when I tell them what I'm bringing to the sleepover.
• While Fundy's failed adoption was highly emotional, it did have funny moments.
  • After Eret fails to show up, Fundy quietly asks Phil if he has a spare bed, at which point Phil places down a crafting table and starts crafting a bed.
  • Fundy insisting he's crying, while he's visibly not.
    Fundy: I'm shaking and crying, Phil. I'm shaking and crying, I'm one of those silent criers, where it's– tears roll down my cheeks but I can still talk normally. I'm one of those people. I'm one of those people. I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm filling up cups of tears right now.
    Phil: Internal angst.
    Fundy: Oh my god... I'm shaking and crying, and peeing a little bit too.
  • After settling into Phil's place, Fundy discovers Jeff, the villager Phil has locked behind a hatch in his house. Fundy immediately assumes Jeff is a hostage, and starts furiously pouring water over his face.
    Fundy: I'M WATERBOARDING HIM!
    • Tubbo chooses this exact moment to join the call, leaving him extremely confused and concerned.
  • This chat message from Quackity.
    Quackity: while your family ignores you wilbur come snort some happy flour with me
  • Phil and Fundy have a quiet moment where Phil teaches Fundy how to fish... which is interrupted by Tubbo accidentally playing "Baby Shark".
    Tubbo: That is not the Ghostbusters theme!
  • After Fundy catches a fish, Phil throws the fish they caught back into the ocean, insisting they'll swim away, blatantly ignoring the very dead fish floating back up to the surface.
  • At one point, Fundy catches a salmon, which he just stares at in shock.
    Tubbo: Did you just fish up your mum? Oh my god... Now both your parents are dead! [...] Let Wilbur eat her!
    Phil: (cracks)
    Fundy: Why do you mean it– TUBBO! STOP!!
    Tubbo: What?
    • Ghostbur joins the call to speak to Fundy, but gets very distracted by the salmon.
      Ghostbur: I don't really wanna go fishing, 'cause, I mean, you are– (inhale; sultry voice) That thing you're holding in your hand, Fundy... you're gonna make me act up if you keep holding that...
    • Phil immediately collapses into complete hysterics.
  • Right after Fundy calls Ghostbur out for continuously avoiding talks about any bad things he might have done, Ghostbur starts waxing poetically about the start of L'Manburg, then says he has to go have a meeting with Tubbo.
    Ghostbur: Tubbo, what are we– what are we meeting to talk about again?
    Tubbo: Serious, serious topics.
    Ghostbur: Mmmm! Serious!
    Tubbo: Like the political climate in Berlin!
    Ghostbur: The political climate in Berlin, yes!
    Tubbo: Where is Berlin? Who knows, that's what we need to know! Get on that!
    Ghostbur: That's what we're finding out today! [...] Hold on, let me go check on Google Earth where Berlin is! Hold on, let me just quickly go and check...
    Tubbo: Inform me when you have the answers, please!
    Ghostbur: Oh, wait, how do I open Google Earth? Is it this button that says Disconne– (leaves call)
• Ranboo had a stream where he laid out his plans to run for President of L'Manburg, despite, y'know, not being on the server yet. His plans ranged from the fanservice-y (giving Philza an Elytra, protecting the L'Mantree, giving Tommy his view), to the weird (finding Sally and figuring out how the heck THAT happened, somehow making Wilbur even more dead, giving George an alarm clock), to the completely ridiculous (making Techno swear, punting Tommy, turning Purpled orange).
  • At one point, while chatting with Niki, Ranboo says he's going to try to hack into the server. The kicker? It works! Ranboo logs onto the server... at which point Dream starts hunting him down repeatedly until he flees into the Holy Land.
  • Ranboo's very first interaction with Tommy.
    Tommy: Hello, Ranboo.
    Ranboo: Hello...
    Tommy: How old are you?
    Ranboo: I am... a minor, and that's all I'm saying.
    Tommy: Wh-no... Wait. Were you born before or after April 9th, 2004?
    Ranboo: ...Before.
    Tommy: So you're younger than me.
    Ranboo: N-no. That means that I'm older.
    Tommy: (frustrated scream) WHY AM I STILL THE YOUNGEST?! I hate you, I hate you, oh my fucking god, you fucking idiot–
• Ranboo made a sign in L'Manburg denoting how long it's been since the last war crime.
• George and Fundy have a chess match in the L'Manburg square. It's not entirely clear which piece is which, and the setup is not correct at all, but it does progress somewhat like a normal chess game... for about five turns, after which Karl throws a spell card (baked potato) onto the board and the game turns into Calvinball.
  Fundy: I'm bringing in Fullmetal Alchemist equivalent exchange! Water turns into ice. Torch... is a spy from behind. (somehow, this results in George being in check)
• After Tommy's trial, he, Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity have a very tense conversation... which is very embarrassingly interrupted by Tommy's mother.
  Tommy: Alright, fine, fine! I'll stop then! I'll– Y'kn– From now on– From now on, I won't pu– I won't– I'm sorry, alright? I won't–
  Tubbo: Okay, that's good, that's like– That's the first step.
  (Voice shouts something in the background)
  Tommy: Uh– YEAH?! (Beat) I CAN'T EMPTY THE DISHWASHER, I'M LIVE! WHAT THE FUCK?!
  (Everyone bursts out laughing)
  Tubbo: God DAMMIT!
  Tommy: I'M SORRY, PARDON?
  Tubbo: GOD DAMMIT!
  Tommy: I WILL, BUT I'M– MUM, I'M IN A S– IN A WAR, MUM!
  (Everyone laughs harder)
  Tommy: MUM, I'M LIVE! (turns back) As I was saying, this nation– (corpses)
  Tubbo: (still laughing) Surely not! Surely not!
  Tommy: And, as I was saying... Please, do not animate that!
  • Ironically, SAD-ist does put this into her "Dream SMP Bloopers" animatic, with the message "well, woops...".
  • It gets better. A little over a year later, MotherInnit semi-canonizes her counterpart on the Dream SMP as a/the goddess of life... which implies that this blooper is ambiguously canonical.
• Fundy discovered that the server has a bug where striders float in the air. Considering Dream banned any mode of flight on the server, you bet he had a field day with that.
• While the meeting with Dream was incredibly serious, Tommy's attempts to keep his composure are pretty funny. He mutes himself several times to vent his anger to his chat, and is seen constantly making indignant faces at the camera.
  Tommy: (calmly) Dream is taunting me. He's sending me smiley faces. He's being all... he's being... What's a nice way to put this... Um... Uh... He's being a huge bitch.
• Tubbo suggests that, instead of drawing the final conclusion of whether or not to exile Tommy on Saturday, Dream's deadline, they do it on Friday, saying that if they take too long, they'll just guilt over it endlessly.
  Tommy: Tubbo be like, "MCC is on Saturday and I've just remembered."
  Tubbo: OH MY GOD, IS MCC ON SATURDAY?!
  • While discussing their next move, the group suddenly notices that Connor has been standing there, silently, for several minutes.
    Tubbo: Connor, please, give us your valid input!
    Connor: I honestly– I've been listening, I don't know what the hell is going on or why you guys are talking about dicks, but I– Listen, I think– I think whatever you guys are doing is great, and uh, keep it up, I trust our world leaders.
  • Tommy completely ruining the point Quackity was trying to make.
    Quackity: If we give that man, at the end of the day, what he wants, then... what does that make us?
    Tubbo: No better than him...
    Tommy: Pussies. Big pussies.
• Connor had claimed a piece of land near L'Manburg to build his house on, thinking it was completely perfect... until he looked up, and saw the giant sign saying "YOU <3 LITTLE PENIS" in the sky. Tommy immediately named the plot "Little Penis Land".
• When Dream catches Mexican Dream, Sapnap, and George doing "illegal drugs" in Mexican L'Manburg, he switches into his Cop Dream persona and starts to chase them down, shouting that he was with the police. M.D's response was to shout back that they had "the stronger police" on their side, i.e. "Twitter.com".

The Exile Arc

• Ghostbur's Innocent Innuendo.
  Ghostbur: I've got wood!
  Tommy: Wilb– Ghostbur, Ghostbur, listen to me–
  Ghostbur: (whispers) I've got wood.
  Tommy: (snorts) I don't think you quite understand the gravity of that sentence.
  (Beat)
  Ghostbur: Mmmmmm...
  Tommy: (laughs) OKAY, that's– Two feet apart from now on...
• After recalling Tommy's duel with Dream, Ghostbur repeatedly reassures Tommy that everyone thinks he's cool and no one would laugh at him.
  Ghostbur: No one in this call, no one on this server, would possibly think you're a bad person or make fun of your failures.
  Tommy: ...Thank you.
  Ghostbur: No one would laugh at you. You did really good.
  Techno: PHA HA HA, LOOK AT THIS LOSER! Oh my god, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen!
• Tommy and Wilbur become obsessed with logs, to the point where they name their new nation Logstedshire.
  Tommy: Hey Logbur! Hey Logbur!
  Wilbur: Yeah?
  Tommy: I want you to call me LoggyInnit from now on!
  Wilbur: (struggling to hold back laughter) I'm not going to do that!
  Tommy: (laughing) Please do that, I need it.
  Wilbur: No, it's very important that I don't do that.
  • Because Tommy no longer has access to the Prime Path, he places down the Prime Log, which he uses to farm primes. What follows is about ten minutes of Tommy playing very upbeat music whenever the log comes into view, even in the middle of very serious conversations.
  • At one point, an apple falls onto the Prime Log, and Tommy spends a solid three minutes yelling about how much he wants to eat it, while Ghostbur desperately tries to gather the materials for an item frame.
    Ghostbur: HE DIDN'T DROP LEATHER! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING COW DOESN'T DROP LEATHER IN 2020?!
    • When Ghostbur places the apple into an item frame, Tommy stops and suddenly seems to realize just how ridiculous they're both acting.
      Tommy: ...Wilbur, I reckon we've gone insane. It only took us two nights in the wilderness!
  • Tommy can suddenly hear logs speaking to him.
    Tommy: (struggling not to laugh) There's some logs here. I wonder what they're– What are they saying to me? (presses his ear up against the logs) Ah, yes. That's very racist.
• Tommy logs on while dramatically telling his chat that he's now completely alone... only to see Bad building a present for him right in front of his face once the world loads in.
• Tommy says that watching people play video games is weird.
• George and Quackity posting dumb pictures of themselves and everyone.
• In an attempt to make conversation with Dream, Tommy asks what the worst thing he's ever done to another human being is.
  Dream: I cut some of my sister's hair off... (laughs)
  Tommy: Really? That's terrible.
  Dream: Terrible, I feel terrible about it.
  Wilbur: That– That is really bad. Did you know, apparently I once blew up a nation and killed everyone.
• At one point, Tommy starts talking to the narrator, typing messages in chat for it to read back to him in order to pretend he has a friend. It takes approximately five seconds for everyone else to fill the chat with swear words.
  TommyInnit: Hi
  TommyInnit: How are you
  TommyInnit: Im good too!
  Punz: PISS
  Punz: SHIT
  Ph1lzA: cock
  Ponk: pEEE
• At one point, while Phil is visiting, Dream jumps onto the Prime Log and takes off his armor, while Tommy plays upbeat music and cheers him on. Dream then tells Tommy to keep a lookout for Phil, and as soon as Phil says he's loading up the stream, Tommy runs away.
  Phil: WHY IS DREAM NAKED?!
  Tommy: HE'S NOT NAKED, HE'S NOT NAKED!
  Dream: I'M NOT, I'M NOT, MY CLOTHES ARE ON!
  Phil: I want that green boy out of this house!
• Techno and Phil went on a journey to get turtles. There was a lot of banter involved.
  • Techno planned to meet up with Phil in L'Manburg, but Phil logged off in one of his secret bases and thus took a while to get back. Techno, in the meantime, hid in plain sight by pretending to be his own Wanted poster.
    • Tubbo caught him, but was too confused to do anything and just left him be.
    • Ranboo kept throwing potatoes at him out of amusement.
    • When Phil finally got back to L'Manburg, he immediately noticed Techno standing in front of the poster. That did not stop him from checking every poster in town while loudly asking his chat just where Techno was.
  • Techno very dramatically reveals that the reason for his violent tendencies is because he constantly hears voices in his head demanding blood. Then, he completely ruins it by revealing he only introduced that plot point to get more people to subscribe to him.
    Techno: Okay, roleplayin' over. You see what I just did there, chat? You see what I just did? All of you guys are now canon! You're all canon now, but if you're in any other streamer's chat, you're not canon, 'cause their chat's not canon. Therefore, you should come over to Technoblade's livestream chat, to be part of the storyline.
  • Techno and Phil stumble upon a village. Techno only takes one of their bells, deeming it enough. Phil, meanwhile, starts stealing everything that's not bolted to the floor.
    Techno: "Take the second bell." I don't need a second bell. I mean, I don't wanna be rude, chat, I mean... I only need the one bell, they need a bell! I mean, come on, chat, let's not be– (Phil steals the second bell) Okay, well, Philza needed a second bell apparently! Here I was, trying to be a good person, resisting the voices, and Phil's like, "Lemme just solve that dilemma for you!"
    • When Techno calls him out for stealing resources he doesn't even need, Phil responds by killing everything in sight just to prove a point. It's telling that Techno is the one to call Phil out for his violent tendencies.
    • Right as Phil delivers the killing blow to an Iron Golem, a thunderstorm starts up.
      Techno: THE GODS ARE ANGRY! I DON'T KNOW THAT MAN!
  • The only thing that gets Techno to genuinely scream in fear is whenever a baby zombie goes anywhere near Phil.^note Phil lost his record-breaking five year Hardcore-world to a baby zombie.
    Phil: That one time. One time out of five years, by the way, ONE time! ONE night!
    Techno: I mean, it's clearly the biggest risk, Phil. None of the other mobs killed you in five years.
    • The funniest of these by far was Techno flying into a screaming panic to kill a baby zombie, then letting Phil handle a Charged Creeper.
  • A few days earlier, Tommy accidentally pasted a portion of the script into the in-game chat, mostly outlining the meeting between Tubbo and Dream. Techno pokes fun at this moment by doing the same thing, except the bit he pastes is about Dream doing a sick backflip into a volcano and dying while President Obama watches.
• Tommy has a very sad, very dramatic moment where he builds a platform to scream out his frustrations, except when it comes down to it, he finds himself unable to scream... until a ghast spawns right next to him and sends him running back to the portal, shrieking like a banshee.
• Tommy sorrowfully tells his chat he isn't sure how much longer he can hold on, and that any day might be the last for him. He resolves that before his death he needs to complete one last task for the world he's leaving behind... write How To Sex 3.
• When Fundy, Niki and Ranboo travel away from spawn in search of a new home, they find a herd of cows. Fundy is impressed by the distance they must have travelled to find live animals... and then Ranboo starts killing them.
  Fundy: No one's been here yet, you're right! And now we've just made them extinct, okay.
  Ranboo: Heh, get it? A miSTEAK?
  (Beat)
  Fundy: I regret bringing you.
  Ranboo: Yeah, I regret coming!
• The Crimson takes over Skeppy's mind and causes him to lose all care for anything, including his friends. BadBoyHalo and Puffy attempt to bring him back to normal...by standing on a crafting table together to make him jealous.
• Because English is not Fundy's first language, he sometimes forgets how certain idioms end. This leads to moments like these.
  Fundy: It's time to kick ass and chew... ass. (bursts out laughing)^note The original quote is "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum".
• During Tommy's final stream in Logstedshire, both he and Dream died in ways that required them to put the scene on hold. They both joke that those deaths are going in the Blooper-reel.
  • After Dream finds Tommy's secret room, he dramatically pulls out the TNT and blows up everything Tommy had stored there... and himself. Dream quickly teleports back and grabs his stuff, but it takes Tommy a minute to stop laughing before they can continue roleplaying.
    Dream: (laughs) Thatwasn'tinthescript. Thatwasn'tinthescript. Thatwasn'tinthescript. Justwaitjustwaitjustwaitjustwait. Thatwasn'tinthescript. Thatwasn'tinthescript! Just wait! Just wait! Just wait, just wait!
  • While Tommy is gathering supplies to leave Logstedshire and dramatically telling his chat that he doesn't need to listen to Dream anymore, he's ambushed by a zombie and killed. Except, because Dream blew up his bed, Tommy respawns back in the Dream SMP, leading to him awkwardly calling Dream and asking for a teleport back.
• A similar blooper moment is when, during his chat with Quackity, Tommy jumps and misses a platform, dying in the process. Like before, people joke about it being canon, but then Techno takes it a step further once Tommy threatens to write him out.
  Technoblade: I'm gonna write a whole arc where you have to, like, completely leave all the relevant areas and sit there and be sad for weeks... OH, WAIT! OH, WAIT! That already happened!
• In a bit of Black Comedy, Tommy refers to his impending suicide attempt as "jumping off the Cadillac" (the original quote is "Jump in the Cadillac").
• During Dream and Techno's meeting where Dream informs him about the Butcher Army's interest in Techno:
  • Right after Techno's arrival, Dream questions both where he's been, and where he came from since he came from the complete opposite direction of where he lives. Techno tries to play it off as a purposeful tactic to avoid detection, but in reality, he just got lost and had no idea to find their meeting place.^note It's made even funnier to anyone who knows the layout of the server well, because Techno actually came from the direction of his base.
    Techno: Oh, I would never forget where this mountain was, so it's all good.
    Dream: I was wondering, 'cus you came from like, a weird direction. You came from like way over there...
    Techno: Oh uh, yeah, that was like, intentional. I don't wanna reveal where my base is, so I– uh- intent– uh-I– I inten-intentionally wandered around as if I was lost, but in reality, it was 'cus I was– obfuscating... my location...
    (Beat)
    Techno: ANYWAYS–
  • When Dream gives Techno the Woodland Explorer's Map to go and find totems to prevent the Butcher Army from killing him, it quickly turns comedic as it's revealed neither of them have any idea how to read the map to go and find the totems in the first place.
    Dream: And I know Technoblade never dies but, just– just in case. (throws Techno the map)
    Techno: Alright... Woodland Explorer's Map... I know how to read this...
    Dream: (laughing)
    Techno: Mmmm... MMMMM... there's a dot... on the... bottom left. Mmmmm...
• The confrontation between the Butcher's Army and Technoblade had plenty of funny moments.
  • Ghostbur's general lack of understanding of what's going on.
    • When Techno steps out of his house to confront the Butcher's Army, Ghostbur starts frantically telling them that Techno isn't home.
      Techno: Little late for that, Ghostbur.
    • Phil — who was under house arrest and definitely not supposed to be there — was hiding in the treeline to observe the fight, being very stealthy... until Ghostbur started waving at him.
    • Ghostbur excitedly tells Techno that he's named his sheep "friend" — while Techno is in a cage about to be executed, and Punz is running around placing TNT all over the square.
    • Then there's Ghostbur just completely shattering the fourth wall.
      Phil: I don't know where Techno is...
      Ghostbur: We could always watch his stream!
  • After Techno's failed execution, Phil starts heckling the Butcher's Army from his balcony.
    Phil: L. L.
    Tubbo: Philza Minecraft– Jesus Christ, I hate your grandpa, Fundy.
    Phil: L!
    Fundy: Phil, we're canonically far away from you, we wouldn't hear you, shut up!
    Phil: (with reverb) L!!
  • When Quackity respawns after losing a canon life, Ghostbur starts coming up with ghost-names for him... which ends with him accidentally calling him "Ghost-titty".
  • Ghostbur asks Phil why everyone keeps trying to kill Techno. Phil, knowing Ghostbur will just forget instantly if he tells him the truth, says it's because they like the taste of pork.
  • Ghostbur gets bored and starts poking at the rain outside.
    Ghostbur: It's still raining.
    Phil: Yeah, don't– don't touch it.
    (hiss)
    Ghostbur: That was– that was me touching the rain!
    Phil: (exasperated) I told you not to touch it! I literally told you not to touch it– what are you doing?
    (more hissing)
    Phil: YOU'LL MELT! Wil, for god's–
    Ghostbur: (giggling)
    Phil: This isn't a funny matter!
  • After checking on Techno and getting back home, Phil had a quiet moment with his chat. Which he then completely ruined by dropping a line that sent the entire chat into a frenzy screaming at him to stop.
    Phil: Well... guess I'm Homestuck.
  • Techno, after a harrowing escape, returns home... and finds that Tommy has stolen a bunch of his stuff and made himself at home in a hole under the basement. Tommy sees absolutely nothing wrong with this, considers it his home, and repeatedly asks Techno to leave.
    Tommy: I don't know why you're here.
    Techno: I LIVE HERE!

The Vengeance Arc

• Technoblade and Tommyinnit sneak off to L'Manburg to breed Techno's dog with Connor's dog. However, Tommy ruins it by going up to Connor while invisible and leading Clarencio the llama, even pretending to be Clarencio. Connor just logs off in pure confusion.
  Connor: Tommy?!
  Tommy: (with a fake Spanish accent) Nonono, Connor, not Tommy, Clarencio, come up and look at me, look at me!
  Technoblade: You're pretendin' to be the llama?!
• Tommy, while invisible, leads Clarencio around L'Manburg, while being consistently spat on. He even manages to kill Ranboo by getting him into the crossfire. He also casually mentions killing the llama's owner a while ago, not understanding why the llama is still upset after five minutes.
  • When Ranboo was killed, some of the items he dropped were his body parts, much like what happens when you kill a normal mob.
• Dream's search for Tommy at Techno's place highlighted the fact that Techno and Ghostbur are as bad at lying as Tommy is at hiding.
  • When Dream asked Techno if he had seen Tommy around, Techno pretended not to know who Tommy is... despite the fact that Tommy is his best friend's surrogate son, who Techno lived with for weeks and fought a war with.
  • Ghostbur is worse at lying than Techno is. When Dream asked him if he had seen Tommy around, Ghostbur lapsed into a long silence, before uncomfortably answering no. Then when Dream found the to-do list and asked who wrote it, Ghostbur happily told him that Tommy wrote it.
  • Tommy was not helping his case. From accidentally throwing the last invisibility potion on Techno instead of himself, to constantly opening the trap door he was hidden behind, even with Dream in the room, to standing right behind Dream while invisible, to loudly eating a golden apple when Dream was right downstairs.
• When Dream shows up to tell Techno he knows that Tommy has been at his house, Techno takes a page out of Tommy's book and bullies Dream until he leaves.
  • When Dream says he knows Tommy has been there, Techno falls silent... then thanks a donator. Then continues thanking donators every time Dream opens his mouth. People eventually start donating just so Techno can keep stalling, and start calling it a filibuster.
  • When Dream brings up the story of Theseus and asked how Theseus died in the end, Techno said he was "yeeted off a cliff by some guy". Dream presses him on who killed Theseus, but Techno says he doesn't remember.
    Dream: He gets yeeted off of the cliff by the guy who was the king of the island that he took refuge on after exile. Now, I'm not pointing this out for any particular reason–
    Techno: You don't know his name either, do you?^note His name was Lycomedes.
  • Dream walks around the house, pointing out all of the things that were very obviously made by Tommy. Techno continues to lie, saying that the cobblestone tower outside was naturally generated, and that he put "build a girlfriend" on the to-do list because "not all of us can be Chads". Dream's frustration is tangible.
    Dream: "GET TECHNOBLADE'S WEAPONS!" HOW– HOW COULD YOU WRITE "GET TECHNOBLADE'S WEAPONS?!"
    Techno: Dude, I speak in the third person all the time. Haven't you heard my key phrase, "Technoblade never dies?" I say it all the time, Dream.
    Dream: Okay, listen. "Cringe therapy", but spelled wrong.
    Techno: ...It's a hard word to spell.
    Dream: No, it's– YOU ARE AN ENGLISH MAJOR!
    Techno: I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE BECAUSE MINECRAFT WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD THE INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY FOR!
  • When Techno calls Dream out for barging into his house, he suddenly realizes that Dream doesn't even have a house. Techno immediately starts heckling him for being homeless, while Dream insists he has a giant house with redstone and that nobody's seen it because it's very far away and he keeps it secret.
    Techno: It just seems so rude, do I barge into your house, Dream? And start looking through your stuff, and commenting on your suspicious to do list on your wall? Actually, do you even have a house? I've never seen you in a house.
    Dream: Ah, I do have a house. It's very, very far from here.
    Techno: Do you like– are you homeless? Is this like–
    Dream: No, I'm not– I'm not homeless, I do have a house.
    Techno: I– You just don't want to admit you don't have a house. Do you sleep outside, Dream?
    Dream: I have a house– I don't even sleep, but I do have a house.
    Techno: Proof, prove you have a house, bring me to it.
    Dream: No, I'm not gonna take you to my house.
    Techno: Dude, this guy doesn't have a house.
    Dream: I have a house!
    Techno: He owns the Minecraft– he owns the Minecraft server and he never builds a house.
    Dream: I HAVE A HOUSE!!
    Techno: 'Cause all he does is show up ominously on people's streams.
    Dream: I have a giant house far away.
    Techno: You wouldn't know my house, it goes to another school, it goes to another school!
    Dream: I. HAVE. A HOUSE!!! What is– Technoblade, alright, I'm leaving! What the hell is wrong with–
    • It gets better. Techno chases Dream as he leaves, though he stops heckling him near the end of their conversation and sincerely offers Dream a place to stay. The long pause following the offer makes it seem as if Dream is seriously considering the offer.
    • When Dream eventually leaves, Techno follows him until he stops in the middle of a tundra and starts building a house. Techno gathers invisibility potions and just spies on Dream the entire time, playing the default Minecraft music while narrating Dream's actions.
    • He even sneaks into Dream's house and starts reading his diary, which sounds like something written by a child, let alone a 21-year-old Minecraft YouTuber.
      Techno: (reading Dream's diary) "Dear Diary, today I worked on my house. Tomorrow, I want to build a basement! It's going to be the biggest base ever."
• George shows Ranboo Dream's old base, and demonstrates to Ranboo key spots on Dream's old base which allow access to all of the chests... as a setup to kill Ranboo by dropping him down a deep pit by breaking the block the latter's under. Unfortunately, Ranboo hits water that had been placed quite a while before they visited the old base, despite George informing that the redstone ore prevents any possible water bucket trick (said water's source block is right under the floor).
  George: ...Which conveniently makes it very accessible, to get redstone. (breaks the wood block underneath Ranboo)
  Ranboo: (looks down) Oh...
  George: (looks down and sees water below Ranboo) Oh, okay, there's water there now!
  Ranboo: (hits water) There's water.
  George: Oh my god! (laughter) Why is there water there?
  Ranboo: I did not have water on my hot-bar!
  • George tries again, but fails again (Ranboo ends up with 3 hearts remaining) due to Ranboo wearing netherite armor.
    Ranboo: ...Wow! I can access all the chests!
    George: And that means you can get easy access to redstone! (breaks the wood block underneath Ranboo)
    Ranboo: (maintaning tone whilst falling down) Oh, man, redstone, I can't believe it! (hits the bottom and survives)
    George: (laughter)
    Ranboo: (laughter) I have, like 3 hearts...
  • Even more hilariously, this proves Dream hadn't exactly been lying to Technoblade when telling him he had a house.
• Phil's final stream in L'Manburg had plenty of funny moments.
  • Ghostbur puts Friend in Phil's house to keep him company in house arrest, then logs off. He then proceeds to log on every minute or so and ask if Friend is okay, despite the fact that he keeps logging in two feet away from Friend.
  • Whenever Ghostbur leaves, he breaks Phil's door and takes it with him. He says it's because he can't pass through it, apparently having never considered the fact that he can just open the door.
    Phil: STOP STEALING MY DOORS
    Ghostbur: but they get in my way
    Phil: YOU ARE LITERALLY A GHOST
    Ghostbur: not all ghosts can walk through walls phil
    Ghostbur: thats spectrophobic
  • At one point, Phil pops up from his basement to see that Friend is gone. Phil is entirely unconcerned, casually telling Ghostbur that Friend is probably dead. Ghostbur immediately panics and runs off, eventually finding Friend by the Camarvan.
    Ghostbur: you are the worst petsitter
    Ghostbur: i am very sad
    Phil: i never agreed to this
  • When Fundy asks who Friend is, Ghostbur replies in Dutch. However, his message gets a bit lost in translation, and Fundy now believes Friend is Ghostbur's girlfriend.^note The Dutch language has no distinction between the word for "friend" and the word for "boy/girlfriend". The word Ghostbur used, vriendin, can mean either "girlfriend" or "female friend", depending on context.
  • Tubbo shows up at Phil's house, having seen him take off the ankle monitor. He gives Phil a new one, this time with Curse of Binding on it, and tries to give him a monitor helmet as well — also with Curse of Binding. Phil immediately hands the helmet off to Ghostbur, who puts it on right away, then regrets it when he realizes he can't take it off.
    • Eventually, Tubbo gets tired of the shenanigans, getting the helmet back from Ghostbur and ordering Phil to stand still with an empty hand so he's sure Phil put on the right helmet. And then he accidentally puts the helmet on himself. Tubbo decides that, now that the helmet is stuck on his head, he has to be in house arrest too and spends the rest of the stream following Phil around like a duckling.
  • Ghostbur and Phil start coming up with ghost-names for Tubbo. It ends when Phil suggests "Toast", and both of them start laughing uncontrollably.
  • Techno joins the call after thirty minutes of stealthily sneaking into L'Manburg to break Phil out, only to realize that everyone has broken character and is talking about completely unrelated things.
    Techno: You guys are so bad at plot. Please. Why are you so lame? I'm sitting here in infiltration, I'm like, "Okay, they're– I've been talking to Phil, we're gonna have some plot." [...] My audience retention is in shambles; why have you guys done this to me?
  • "If you canonically kill me, I'm gonna canonically shoot you."
• During one stream, Tommy called Phil in order to verify whether or not it was okay to make fun of vegans. However, when Phil picked up, he was still in complete hysterics over a video of Gordon Ramsay failing to make a grilled cheese sandwich, to the point where Tommy starts to seriously question whether or not he's drunk.
  Phil: I honestly believe he fucked up half-way through cooking it, and was like, "Ah, shit. I've hired– I've hired a camera crew and everything... Aw fuck, um... just roll with it, roll with it. Uh, y-yeah, it's good, it's good! Aw, that's good melted cheese!" It's literally solid. (laughs) You can see it in the fucking video... (laughing harder)
  • In that same stream, Tommy looked over the to-do list, contemplating whether the "minor terrorism in L'manberg" task was really something he had to do... and then looked at Bob the cow, who nodded back at him. Tommy immediately complies.
• During the conflict between the Greater Dream SMP and Mexican L'Manburg, Techno and Phil were online and saw the many angry chat messages and deaths flying by. They immediately started poking fun at them by behaving like pacifistic hippies.
  Techno: hey phil want a dandelion my friend
  Phil: sure best bud
• Tommy places down signs with threatening titles (Operation Knife Point, Slashclaw) and countdown signs^note the countdown's supposed to be "2 Days", then "1 Day", but Tommy abandoned the sign after "2 Days" across the server as a means to intimidate the server with Ineffectual Death Threats performed by some sort of individual no one knows. It gets silly when it turns out there is someone who knows the culprit behind the threats, and that's Ranboo.
  Ranboo: (reads the sign saying "OPERATION: KNIFE POINT") Oh, Tommy's been here. (sees the cobblestone letters and numbers that make up the phrase "2 DAYS") Oh yeah, no– Tommy's definitely been here. (Beat) Who else would do that? Who else would do that? Think about it. Who else would do that? No one else would do that. Especially, like– no one else would do that. It's definitely Tommy. (laughter)
  • Ranboo knows Tommy's the culprit because of the common behaviour Tommy exhibits when building things in a short timeframe — taking advantage of the preexisting terrain, and being too lazy to use scaffolding (as he noticed on the "2 DAYS" sign).
    Ranboo: You know why he built it here chat? Because he was too lazy to use scaffolding, so he decides to just, put it right here [the edge of the cliff where Punz's house is located] so that he could build out, so that he doesn't have to use scaffolding. And it's out of cobblestone.
  • His chat starts yelling out names other than Tommy in an attempt to convince him that Tommy isn't the culprit, which only allows Ranboo to confirm who isn't behind the threatening signs, and when the chat tries to throw Tommy into the list, it backfires too.
    Ranboo: ...It was Dream? Ah, okay, okay. Yes, yes, tell me everyone who that it wasn't. Tell me everyone that it wasn't, because then that just tells me who it was! Chat, you guys realise that literally every single person that you're putting in chat I can now cross off of the list, because I know that you're trying to– And now you guys are putting– And NOW, see– NOW you guys are putting Tommy as soon as I said that!
• On Christmas day, while making preparations to go back to the Dream SMP, Tommy gets a visit from HBomb. In classic Tommy fashion, he immediately starts plotting to drop HBomb into lava... until HBomb gives him his Christmas present.
  Tommy: I might just kill HBomb.
  HBomb: (in chat) merry xmas (puts a Pigstep-disc in an item frame)
  Tommy: I will not kill HBomb!
  • Turns out the reason Tommy wanted a Pigstep-disc isn't because he likes the song, but because he figured out a way to weaponize it. The song "Pigstep" is copyrighted, so by playing it near other people, Tommy can instantly hit everyone in his vicinity with a copyright-claim.
    • Tommy then tries to get HBomb to rap to Pigstep with him. HBomb instantly panics and logs off.
  • Later, when Tommy is working on his house, BadBoyHalo comes up to him, very excited to give him his Christmas present... and gives him another Pigstep-disc.
    Tommy: Y'know when... your mum gives you a gift that you already have on Christmas morning... and you have to pretend to be really, really grateful?
• Techno gives Tommy a (belated) Christmas present in the form of an enchanted turtle helmet and Techno's Canon Disc, a renamed "Wait"-disc. Tommy is completely over the moon.
  Tommy: Oh my god, if there was a Hug-button, I would press it! Holy shit!
  Techno: I'm glad there's not a Hug-button. I am pressing the Boundaries-button.
  • Techno actually wanted to wear the turtle helmet himself to look cool, but once he put it on he realized that the helmet covers his eyes, making him look incredibly silly.
• Techno and Tommy hold Connor for ransom in return for Techno's gear, an otherwise tense hostage situation which is immediately ruined by the fact that everyone is wearing Christmas hats.
  Technoblade: Tommy, that entire time we had Christmas hats on, it was ruinin' the moment.
• Tubbo and Ranboo eventually agree to return some of Techno's items in return for freeing Connor, who is immediately killed by a spider.
• When Techno and Tommy are confronted by Dream, Techno tells Tommy not to be scared of Dream because he's homeless.
  Techno: (whispering) Tommy, don't be scared. He doesn't have no house. He don't got no home, Tommy, don't be scared.
  Tommy: Is he a homeless man?
  Dream: No, I'm not.
  Tommy: Oh, I hate homeless people.
  Techno: That's a lot– that's a lot to process, Tommy.
• During Techno's confrontation with Dream, he mentions the favor he owes Dream. Tommy, who did not know about this, starts asking about it.
  Techno: Don't ask questions, Tommy. The adults are speaking.
  Tommy: (offended) Hey!
  (everyone starts Corpsing)
  Techno: I really just BM'd you in the middle of the lore, didn't I?!
  Tommy: What the fuck?!
• After the confrontation with Dream, Tommy, who was bouncing around the Nether completely giddy and hyped up on adrenaline, confidently shoots at a ghast with his crossbow... forgetting that it was loaded with invisibility arrows. Cue Tommy frantically scrambling for cover while screaming for Techno to come help, now besieged by an angry, invisible ghast.
• Technoblade looks up the world ant population... and immediately starts complementing ants, trying to get them to subscribe.
• During Ranboo's long, panicked rant in his panic room, he throws some items out into the ocean... which attract a nearby dolphin that proceeds to swim into the room and flop around, now stuck. Ranboo has to interrupt his dramatic monologue to get the dolphin back into the water.
  Ranboo: Oh. Hey, you're not supposed to be in here... 'kay, well, you're really gonna ruin the mood, aren't you?
• The Green Festival, while one of the most tense and emotional moments of the server's history, did have funny moments.
  • Everyone is dead silent during Dream and Techno's speech about nuking L'Manburg... until Tommy accidentally kills Tubbo's dog, at which point everyone starts gasping in horror and yelling at Tommy.
  • While meeting up with Techno and Philza, Tommy starts yelling that Philza invented Minecraft and named it after himself, which Techno enthusiastically agrees with.
  • After Techno and Dream leave the ruins of the Community House, Tommy is left completely surrounded by pretty much everyone on the server.
    Tommy: Heyyy... literally everyone.
    Tubbo: Y-Yeah, you've got quite the full house here...
    Jack: Half a house.
  • Tommy's speech to everyone was awesome. Then again, it's Tommy, so it did have its gems.
    • Tommy says he lost track of time in exile because they didn't have clocks. Ignoring that there are no clocks anywhere on the SMP, since everyone checks the time by looking at the position of the sun.
    • Tommy places down three chests, telling everyone to fill them up with supplies. He then proceeds to confusedly ask why everyone is checking the chests; since he literally just placed them, they know there's nothing in them.
    • Tommy throws a pretty backhanded insult while telling everyone to come together.
      Tommy: So please, I don't care what your differences is, I don't care if you're the king, or if you're Ponk–
      Ponk: Huh?!
    • Mid-speech, Tommy realizes that Quackity has once again taken his clothes off.
      Tommy: Hello, naked man at the front! You are so not noble...
      Tubbo: Big Q, you have not changed one bit, Big Q.
    • When Niki snaps at Tommy for hesitating after she and Sam told him to swear he didn't blow up the Community House, Tommy snaps back at her... then immediately regrets it.
      Tommy: Well, watch this, lady! I– Pfft, sorry, there's only like two ladies in the audience and now I look sexist; I'm not, I love women.
• During the otherwise serious scene of Ranboo freaking out in his panic room with Dream, Discord — which you can hear having issues throughout most of it just from Dream's audio quality — chooses to break right in the middle of it and Dream has to break character and interject a quick break to try to fix it.
• This exchange at the start of the Doomsday War, showing just how much of a Deadpan Snarker Techno can be.
  Tommy: You said there were thirty minutes!
  Techno: Oh, no, did we lie? Oh no, I wasn't honorable about the 1 v. like 30 that's going to happen today, oh no!
• Remember the Pokimane statue? Somehow, Dream's destruction and Philza's withers have avoid touching it entirely, with Jack Manifold's house also being spared.
• After Doomsday, Ghostbur makes a dramatic entrance, angrily telling Tommy, Tubbo and Quackity that he's done being a ghost and wants to be brought back to life... and then Tommy gets struck by lightning.^note In Minecraft, a Player killed by natural lightning strike is an extremely rare occurance. It's so unexpected and out of the blue that everyone in the server immediately starts corpsing for several minutes.
  Technoblade: SO LONG, THESEUS! SO LONG, THESEUS! EVEN GOD HATES THEM!
  BadBoyHalo: (in the in-game chat) Roasty toasty
  • From a meta standpoint, Dream has revealed during his appearance on the Eboys podcast that he summoned the lightning bolt because he was watching Tommy's stream at the time and thought it would be funny. He was right.

The Disunion Arc

• After learning that Ranboo has memory problems, Tommy immediately ropes Tubbo into trying to scam him out of his armor by pretending to be various family members of his and demanding he take his clothes off since they're inside the house.
  Ranboo: Your family members had you guys take off your clothes? Are you okay?!
  • When Ranboo doesn't fall for their trick, Tommy pulls Tubbo into his back room where they proceed to essentially swap clothes (Tubbo takes off his suit jacket and Tommy puts on a suit over his normal skin), then rush out and try the exact same thing again. They proceed to do this multiple times, despite Ranboo not having any of it.
• During the stream, Twitch had a major server outage, resulting in viewers being unable to follow, subscribe, use the chat, or in some areas, even watch the stream. Tommy and Ranboo decide that, now that nobody is watching, they can break the Twitch Terms of Service as much as they want.
  Ranboo: WHO WANTS TO WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF FAMILY GUY IN ORDER?!
  Tommy: They deleted my subs? Well, two can play it that game. Tubbo, what's the worst word you know, I'm gonna update my title.
  • "I think when they blew up L'Manburg, they also blew up half of the Twitch servers!"
• The first attempt at resurrecting Ghostbur is incredibly clumsy.
  • It starts when Ghostbur walks towards the shrine, falls into a pit, respawns, forgets the pit is there, and falls again. Rinse and repeat.
  • Eret made a shrine for Ghostbur with a bunch of things that represent him, hoping to jog his memory. One of the things he adds is a salmon he renamed Sally. Problem is, Ghostbur does not remember Sally at all, continuously pronounces her name as "Say-lee", manages to get her to clip through the floor, and when she's accidentally killed, he EATS HER, while remarking how salmon is his favorite food.
    Ghostbur: Who the fuck are you?
  • In order to get into the right mindset, Ghostbur and Phil act out the scene in the button room again, with all the seriousness and acting quality of an eighth grade musical rehearsal.
    • Ghostbur hands everyone their roles, with himself as Wilbur, Philza as Philza, Eret as Eret, and Ranboo as Tubbo. He's about to start the scene when he suddenly spots Tommy looking at them all, confused.
      Ghostbur: I can't work under these conditions, Mr. Director!
    • Because they didn't actually have TNT to detonate, Phil and Ghostbur just make explosion sounds with their mouths. Ghostbur then asks Tommy to simulate the explosion. Tommy lights a single fire and calls it good.
    • Ghostbur constantly forgets his line before he presses the button, incidentally also the most iconic line in the server's history.
      Ghostbur: What was my line again? It was always never meant– what, be!
      Phil: No, no–
      Fundy: Ehhh, it's close, it's close.
      Ghostbur: It wasn't the one to happen!
      (everyone making disapproving sounds)
      Ghostbur: Never be the happen!
  • When Ghostbur starts getting second thoughts, he asks Tommy for advice on whether or not to revive Wilbur, saying that Tommy told him he wanted Wilbur back.
    Tommy: Wilbur's not like you, Ghostbur...
    Ghostbur: ...in what way?
    Tommy: Well, y'know, you're very uh... You're all poggers. But...
    Ghostbur: (quietly) I am quite poggers...
    Tommy: (whispers) Ghostbur... Wilbur's not so poggers.
    Ghostbur: Phil, I dunno if I want to be not so poggers...
  • After the first resurrection attempt fails, Ghostbur is absolutely fuming.
    Ghostbur: That was bloody anticlimactic! I was– I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE DEAD! NOW I'M JUST DOUBLE GHOST! I'M GGHOSTBUR! I'M GGHOSTBUR, WHAT THE FRICK?!
  • While looking for friend, Ghostbur suddenly disappears into thin air. Phil, Eret and Fundy are immediately concerned, wondering whether or not he got pulled back into the afterlife, calling out for him as they pull friend back to the spot he disappeared from. Turns out the reason why Ghostbur vanished was because cc!Wilbur kicked his router by accident.
    Ghostbur: My router had a canon death.
    Phil: (laughing) God, that's the most scuffed shit...
  • Ghostbur hanging a massive lampshade on the morality of the server.
    Ghostbur: I feel like a lot of things that happen with friend might not actually be true. 'Cause, I think no other animal has infinite canon lives, Phil, you just– I think you may have told me that just to cheer me up. But I– y'know, we're all reliable narrators here.
  • Right when Phil kills Ghostbur a second time, he gets a donation from Techno.
    Techno: wait ive seen this episode before
  • The second revival attempt fails... not because it did nothing, but because it brought back someone else — someone who is not happy about his situation.
    Schlatt: ...the fuck?
    Phil: Waitwaitwait, woah, woah, woah, who– who– what?! Who is that?!
    Schlatt: Wh– The fuck is this?!
    Eret: Schlatt?!
    Schlatt: I was– Oh my god, I WAS JERKING OFF, WHAT THE FUCK IS GO– WHERE AM I?!
  • When Schlatt disappears and Ghostbur comes back, the rest think they're in the clear... until Ghostbur tells Phil he's suddenly got a craving for cigarettes, whiskey and protein powder. Schlatt then takes over Ghostbur's body, just to ask about the protein powder.
    • Really, Schlatt in Ghostbur's body is an expert at ruining the moment.
      Eret: We'll go on a journey to try and find a woodland mansion. Wilbur, we will bring you back.
      Ghostbur: (yelps)
      Schlatt: Big booty goddess.
  • Eret mentions the fact that Ghostbur saw two people when he was killed, then one person when he was killed the second time. The group decides that the first person must have been Schlatt, but are stumped as to who the second person could be. Tubbo then butts in, saying that obviously it has to be Mexican Dream.
    • Because Tubbo was not there in game, Eret and Fundy immediately ask where his voice is coming from, to which Tubbo replies that he's on Skype. This sparks a Running Gag of various people crafting buttons to act as phones so they can talk to people they're not physically close to, and hanging up by throwing the phone into water. Instead of, y'know, just hanging up.
  • Fundy insists that, before trying again, they have to do as much research as possible. He decides to do this by watching Fullmetal Alchemist. Phil's only response is "Good luck with that."
• Phil, Ranboo and Eret travel to Techno's house to trade for a woodland mansion map, when Phil asks Eret about his opinion on governments. Eret starts giving out vague answers, when Ranboo points out through whispers that Eret is literally the king. Phil promptly tells him to leave.
  • What follows is an understated bit of Black Comedy. Eret tries to convice Phil to let them stay by taking off their crown, which also reveals their white eyes. This startles Phil and Ranboo so bad that they want Eret to leave the commune more. Eret mistakes this to mean that they don't want his help on the upcoming trip to the woodland mansion, so he storms off grumbling about how he'll get the Totems of Undying all on his own.
    Eret: I'm a strong, independent... whatever the fuck I am.
• Phil, Eret, Ranboo and Tubbo embark on a journey to find a woodland mansion to get a Totem of Undying. The whole thing is treated like a road trip, with Tubbo behaving like an Annoying Younger Sibling the entire time and Phil as the tired Team Dad driver.
  • As Ranboo and Phil are waiting for Tubbo and Eret at the portal, Tubbo confesses that he's been blasting the Brooklyn Nine-Nine theme so loudly his ears are ringing. Phil immediately proceeds to scold him for playing copyrighted music.
    Tubbo: Oh, come on, it's a Netflix show intro theme, if that gets me DMCA'd, everything should.
    Phil: Hey, Tubbo, Tubbo. Y'know how people pay money to have Netflix?!
    (Beat)
    Tubbo: OH, GOD, I'M SCREWED!
  • About five seconds into the trip, Tubbo asks if anyone knows "that one song by Journey", then proceeds to sing "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers. Phil begs Tubbo to educate himself, and Ranboo says that, the way the trip is going, he might just have his first canon kill.
  • Tubbo's cloudcuckoolander tendencies come out full-force.
    Tubbo: If Minecraft characters could piss, d'you reckon we could trident using our piss in the Nether? Picture me that.
    Ranboo: The canon kill– the canon kill is just getting closer and closer...
    • Really, everyone's constant exasperation with Tubbo's antics.
      Ranboo: I no longer want to be on this trip.
      Phil: Chat, I'm thinking about pushing Tubbo out the car.
  • Tubbo complains about not having any snacks, to which Ranboo responds that he has a bag of gummy worms. Tubbo immediately asks for them, and they argue over them for a while, much to Phil's chagrin.
    Phil: Share the gummy worms, for fuck's sake! I will turn this car around!
  • At one point during the journey to the mansion, the server crashes, which leads to a joke about it being the equivalent of Phil crashing the car.
  • After leaving the Nether roof and traveling through the Overworld, Ranboo, Phil and Eret find the woodland mansion. Tubbo, however, keeps dying on the way there, pleading with them to wait up. By the time he's finally made it there, the others have already looted the entire place, and Phil is laughing while setting the mansion on fire.
  • Near the end of the stream, Phil reaches his sub goal, which means his wife can come in and put something on him. He spends the entire trip back wearing a bright red wig.
    • Phil gets annoyed at the long hair getting in his face, saying that it's giving him flashbacks to college. Eret immediately demands to see a picture of Phil in college with long hair.
• Ranboo stumbled across a stronghold near Techno's base and showed Techno a while later. Techno immediately conspires to secretly go to the End, but they're stopped when the Eye Spy achievement pops up in the chat, alerting everyone that they'd found the stronghold. They immediately leave, with Techno nearly failing to make it out of a one-block hole in the ceiling.
  Techno: We're goin' to the End, change the stream title! We go! Yeah, we're gonna kill the Ender Dragon–
  Technoblade has made the advancement Eye Spy
  Ranboo has made the advancement Eye Spy
  Techno: OH, it snitched!
  Ranboo: Ohp, no, oh, get out, oh god.
  Techno: It snitched, our cover's blown!
  Ranboo: We-we're not doing any of that.
  • Adding to the above, Ranboo and Techno actually tried this after Dream left the server, but since you can search up usernames of who is in the stream chat, it turns out that Dream was actually watching one of their streams as this happened in real time.
• While Ranboo's stream on January 15th was decidedly not funny, the donation messages he received during that time definitely were.
  buddymcbuddbudd: HOMELESS GREEN SCREEN MANIPULATES DORY FROM FINDING NEMO
  giasimone18: it's the letting a neon green highlighter ruin your life for me... anyways what y'all want from wendy's? 😃✋
  lol: nah im done with this disk crap i'm going back to sleep
  • During Ranboo's breakdown, he started tearing up the area around his house in order to certify that he didn't have one of Tommy's discs... during which he received a donation from Technoblade:
    Technoblade: My poor property value
• Tommy has a serious moment with his chat, where he admits he fucked up and needs to make amends... then turns around and leaps out of his seat screaming when he sees Foolish, the newest member of the SMP, practically breathing down his neck.
  • Tommy calls Foolish (who, keep in mind, he's never met before), and the two have a very typical conversation for the SMP's standards. "Typical" being Foolish repeatedly calling Tommy a child, and Tommy trying to mug him.
• The start of Phil's January 18th stream was just one long Humiliation Conga. First, his facecam completely broke, forcing him to spend 15 minutes troubleshooting, then he finally joined the server, but left the door open before tabbing out, and came back to see that a creeper had wandered in and blown up Techno's house. Cue a 45-minute scramble to fix everything before Techno logs on, involving Phil having to shove everything that fell on the floor into random chests, scrounge up the supplies to rebuild an entire wall, and Ranboo joining him in doing the Minecraft equivalent of solving 4 jumbled jigsaw puzzles as all of Techno's fanart fell off the wall.
  Ranboo: Phil, how many canon lives are you on?!
  Phil: Uhhh, I have– I have one!
  Ranboo: OHHHH, BOY!
  • The funniest part by far is Phil reacting very calmly... until he tabs back in and sees the damage.
    Phil: Whoopsie-daisy. (Beat) OH, SHIT!
  • About 45 minutes later, right when Phil and Ranboo finish fixing the last of the damage, Techno logs on. Ranboo and Phil try desperately to play it off, but Techno's chat snitched on them, so Techno asks a lot of very pointed questions to mess with them.
    Techno: Hey, do you guys know why my dogs– They like, jumped out of the boat and teleported to me on the other side of the map, do you guys know why they did that?
    Phil: No idea. That's– that's crazy, that's– that's nuts.
    Ranboo: I think it might have happened in the server probably restarted overnight. And then it just didn't save the fact that the dogs were in the... boat.
    Techno: Yeah, but it saved the boat.
    Ranboo: Well, I mean... It's like... A different–
    Techno: Why does it smell like gunpowder?
    Phil: Hey, we should go outside, get some fresh air, right?!
• Techno and Phil tried to do a bit where they entered the stronghold and turned the portal to the End into a table, since their characters would have no reason to know what it actually is. However, they didn't tell Dream this prior, so DreamXD, (his alt account), logged in (presumably out of worry), and preemptively destroyed the portal and immediately logged back out. Techno and Phil have to quickly break character to assure him that they weren't actually gonna use the portal^Explanation (One of the only rules on the server is that you're not allowed to go to the End dimension) to get him to put the blocks back before they can continue.
  Technoblade: At least– you can break one of the blocks but at least leave the other blocks so we can't even activate it, come on!
  Phil: (laughing) We were literally going to make a fucking table!
  Technoblade: We wanted a table, Dream! It was gonna be our meeting room, come on, Dream, put the blocks back! Come on, come on, don't be that way....
  (DreamXD joined the game)
  (DreamXD places a single End portal frame block down)
  (DreamXD left the game)
  Technoblade: That is not what I meant, Dream!
  • The whole back and forth afterwards is overall very funny. Techno kept making jokes at Dream's expense, prompting Dream to log back on and just silently stare at him.
    Technoblade: You see, he logs in as DreamXD because Dream and DreamXD are actually separate beings, alright. DreamXD is like... the god– uh– DreamXD has canonical access to creative mode while the regular Dream is just like some homeless Teletubby that–
    (DreamXD joined the game)
    Technoblade: –ahaha! Heyyy– (types "haha jk" in the chat) –I can't wait to watch the Manhunt video! When is that coming out–
• The Season 2 finale had plenty of funny moments.
  • Dream's vault of precious items has space for everything that someone values on the server, from weapons, to items, to pets... and Skeppy.
  • The Big Damn Heroes moment is undercut just a little bit by the fact that, while the others are all in full Netherite armour, Quackity is in his yeezys. ONLY his yeezys.
  • When Tommy and Tubbo finally have Dream at their mercy, are finally free from his tyranny, Tommy decides to make Wilbur proud... by screaming "SUCK IT, GREEN BOYYYYYYY" right in Dream's face.
  • After the long, dramatic sequence in Dream's secret vault, Dream is pushed onto the elevator by Sam, Sapnap and Bad, to be taken to the prison. Tommy and Tubbo have some heartfelt moments with their saviors and gear up for their trek back through the Nether... and then Dream falls off the elevator to his death.
    Tommy: (snorts) You dumbass! Tubbo, let's get out of here! You dumb fucking green boy!
  • The conversation with Wilbur was incredibly heartfelt. But since this is Tommy and Wilbur we're talking about, it ended up going off the rails very quickly.
    • When Tommy asks how Wilbur got back to the land of the living, Wilbur says he doesn't know... but thanks Tommy profusely for getting him away from Schlatt.
    • Wilbur doesn't seem to understand why Tommy and Tubbo are being quiet and uncomfortable, and starts playfully scolding them for not wanting to talk to him.
      Tubbo: (through private message) I like ghost wilbur better
    • Wilbur tries to make a few jokes to get Tommy to smile.
      Tommy: I'm quite unsettled by your presence.
      Wilbur: Yeah, I get that a lot, I hear that from many people. Especially women. (Beat) The fact you didn't laugh made that far worse.
    • When Tommy tells Wilbur about the plans to revive him, Wilbur gets pretty pissed. As the afterlife and the living world start separating again, Wilbur starts to fade out, screaming about how terrible of an idea this is.
      Wilbur: YOU'RE GONNA KILL CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST!!!
    • Wilbur then fades out completely... then fades back in as he calls Tommy a ridiculous child. That's right, Wilbur resisted the pull of the void — resisted death itself — just to call Tommy a child one last time.
    • What follows is a screaming match between Tommy and Wilbur, while Tubbo puts on Stal (more famously known as Schlatt's most hated disc) and starts dancing.
  • After everything is over, Techno logs on.
    Techno: im done eating lunch why do i have so many notifications
    Ranboo: no reason
  • Techno later makes a Twitter post saying "This guy won't stop spamming my DM's :/". Turns out it was Dream desperately trying to cash in his favor before getting dragged off to prison.
    Dream: yo Techno log in i need that favor
    Dream: TECHNO
    Dream: TECHNO LOG IN NOW
    Techno: can't im busy

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