Funny / Doonesbury

• Duke, at the time the Governor General of American Samoa, pauses as he's dictating a report about the series of disasters that have overtaken the island.
  Duke: I'm a reasonable man, Macarthur, so I know this isn't snow.
  Macarthur: Don't worry, sir. It never sticks.
• Most any time Honey provides a Tactful Translation.
  Duke: A further goal of mine is the speedy implementation of normalization.
  Honey: (translating) A further goal of his is the speedy implementation of normalization.
  Duke: Lastly, I come to China in the hope of fulfilling a life-long ambition - dropping acid on the Great Wall.
  Honey: (translating) Lastly, he wishes you good health and long life.
  Duke: In conclusion, let me just say that I look forward to a new spirit of cooperation from our Chinese friends. I sincerely hope it won't be necessary to shell any pagodas.
  Honey: (translating) He also wishes your wife good health.
• B.D. giving marriage advice to Toggle
• There was one strip where U.S. military recruits were being trained to go through a minefield. Except the brass decided to save money by using a cow field. "* SQUISH!* " "You're dead, cupcake!" "* SQUISH!"*
• Curtis giving the eulogy at Uncle Duke's funeral^note Relax, he was only zombified at the time., especially with Zonker's deadpan reaction.

  Curtis: "What can you say about a 25-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful. And brilliant. That she loved Mozart and Bach and the Beatles. And me."

  Zonker: "Thank you, Curtis. What the hell was that?"

  Curtis: "It's from Love Story. It was the closest I could find in the library."

• One story arc has Duke and Honey being stranded on an island. Not only is the reveal that they were right by civilization the entire time and found by a couple of birdwatchers hilarious, but there's this gem when their rescuer learns of their situation.
  Dick: Are you sure you want to be rescued? Most men dream of getting stranded on an island with a charming young lady.
  Duke: Hell, so do I but Honey is all I ended up with.
  Honey: Compliment received on this end, sir.
• From the 1970s, Rick is investigating a corrupt Congressman "interviewing" a female intern at a roadside hotel. When the photographer who's with Rick is complaining he can't get a decent photo through the window, Rick comes up with a simple solution:
  Rick: HEY, CONGRESSMAN!
  Congressman Ventura: AAAIIEEEE!!!
  Photographer (happily getting his pictures): Why didn't I think of that?
  Rick: You get a better expression that way, too.
• In 1980, Trudeau went after Reagan's conservative world-view with a Ron Hedley news special "In Search of Reagan's Brain." In 1987, at the height of the Iran-Contra scandal, Trudeau pens a follow-up redone as an Indiana Jones escapade "Return To Reagan's Brain!"
  • Several misadventures include losing a porter to a live synapse, and running into the spectre of Nancy Reagan as a She-Mummy who scares off the rest of the expedition.
  • When Hedley discovers a blocked memory core that could be the key to unraveling the Iran-Contra scandal, he creates a makeshift Molotov cocktail to blast it free. All it does is bring back old baseball scores from when Reagan was a radio game announcer.