Funny / Carry On Henry

• "Oh, Fawkes! You and your bloody gunpower!".
• This:
  Sir Roger: Er, if I may be permitted to make a suggestion, Your Grace?
  Henry VIII: This is no time to start getting suggestive, Sir Roger.
• Henry VIII comes to this conclusion:
  Henry VIII: That settles it. Get 'er annulled.
  Cardinal Wolsey: "An old" what, sire?
  Henry VIII: Annul the marriage, ya FOOL!
• Cromwell telling Lord Hampton "You have my hand on it", followed by said hand coming off. Cue an Aside Glance.
• Queen Marie arguing with Cromwell, and pointing out his cruelty to the Catholics that were burned to stakes some time ago.
  Cromwell: Didn't I go 'round every one of them and say "How d'you like yer stake"?
  Cardinal Wolsey: That's right. He did, you know.
• "Ah yes, Mistress Scrub".
• Sir Roger's first confession.
  Cromwell: Oh yes, just sign this.
  Sir Roger: Without even reading it?
  Cromwell: Oh, I'll read it to you. It's just a simple little confession... "In as much as I, Roger de Lodgerley, of Bedside Manor, Wilts - hereinafter referred to as the party of the first part - did unlawfully, with malice aforethought and without taking due precaution, on the night of October 4th last, admire, covet, blandish, cosset, seduce, and otherwise, get at Marie, spouse to Henry Tudor - hereinafter referred to as the party of the second part - I do now hereby solemnly declare, and in witness thereof I append my signature below, that the resulting issue - hereinafter referred to as the party of the third part - is the direct consequence of the joining together of the part of the first part's and the party of the second part's parts".
  Sir Roger: As you said, very simple!
  Cromwell: So you'll sign?
  Sir Roger: Not on your Bonaparte!
• Cromwell sets up a Sex Enjoyment Tax in a hope to get enough money for an annulment.
  Henry VIII: D'you think they'd stand for it?
  Cromwell: Well... stand for it, sit for it, lie down for it - what's it matter as long as we get the money?
• Sir Roger hiding on top of the royal couple's four-poster bed, and launching a ladder to the ground when Queen Marie frets over Henry VIII's disappearance, followed by a smug smile.
• Henry VIII leaves for hunting (for women):
  Cromwell: Oh nice. What for?
  Henry VIII: Sommin to eat. I'm starving.
  • When he finds a buxom lass to ravish:
    Henry VIII: Oh, call me 'Enry.
    Buxom Lass: "'Enry", eh? Same as that miserable sot who rules us.
    Henry VIII: "Miserable" what?
    Buxom Lass: "Sot".
    Henry VIII: Oh, "sot". Oh, he's quite a nice fella really.
• Queen Marie's annoyed comment over Henry's actions.
  Queen Marie: You're a cunning old bastard.

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