Funny / Binder of Shame

• The end of the aptly-named installment "The Day I Killed The Entire Party Before The First Combat Encounter".
  • There's also the party coming up with their characters.
    Psycho Dave: My character is a former Navy Seal. He has medals of honor and no one knows that in his spare time he kills hippies and midgets.

    Deviant Boy: My character and her cousin are having an affair.
    Ab3: Wh-what?
    Weasly Crusher: We're in love.
    
• Psycho Dave's version of Yoda from "Trapped in Jedi Academy", who's Gunnery Sergeant Hartman IN SPACE! and with a penchant for live fire exercises and attacking his students.
  Ab3: Are you sure Yoda would act like this?
  Psycho Dave: Master Yoda force chokes your character until he passes out.

  Deviant Boy: You know, I'm pretty sure hanging us by our thumbs should get Maser Yoda a few Dark Side point.
  Psycho Dave: SHUT YOUR FILTHY SPACE HOLE!
  • From the same chapter, Blobert plays his character with a Southern accent, which he does by saying "y'all" at the end of every sentence.
  • When everyone tries to leave, Psycho Dave gets a sawed-off shotgun from his bedroom and unsubtly threatens everyone into continuing to play.
• "A Night at the Inn, A Day at the Racists" revolves around Psycho Dave running a game of Dungeons & Dragons where the players have to wait at an inn for their boss. As expected, chaos ensues.
  • Apparently, before going to the inn they had to fight a Giant Shrunken Applehead Woman.
  • El Disgusto insists on having his character ride underneath the party's wagon. Which he has been doing for every session until this point, and none of the party know he's there.
  • Psycho Dave's general strategy is introduced when he forces Ab3 to roll for stopping the wagon.
    Ab3: I stop the wagon in front of the inn.
    Psycho Dave: Roll for it.
    Ab3: This is getting a little out of hand now.
    Psycho Dave: Roll for it.
    Ab3: I have to roll to stop the damn wagon?
    Psycho Dave: You're the one that said you were all of a sudden stopping the wagon. Ever heard of slowing down before you stop?
    Ab3: I didn't think I had to be that specific. Okay, I-
    Psycho Dave: It's too late. You said it. Roll to see if you can stop the wagon without crashing, or do you want to bitch and whine some more?
    Ab3: (rolls) Crap.
    Psycho Dave: Ok, the cart flips over. Everybody make a save versus death. Yes, you too, Larry.
    As you can see, I soon realized that Psycho Dave ran a game in roughly the same way that Warwick Davis in the film Leprechaun granted wishes. Everything you said your character did was scrutinized for some way to screw you over and the dice ruled all. He was the only guy I know who used a random monster encounter chart for Call of Cthulhu. You haven't lived until you've had a character go mad because he saw a nightgaunt sitting in a restroom stall reading a copy of the Necronomicon.
  • After the party arrives at the inn, Psycho Dave forces Ab3 to roll to see if his character gets drunk, in spite of him playing a dwarf, who can't get drunk on human alcohol. He fails the roll, and since being drunk means that the other players decide what you do for the next few turns, Ab3's character strips naked and starts singing while clinging to the chandelier.
  • Weasly Crusher and Cheating Bastard start harassing a random kid at the bar for no reason, and Weasly pulls out his sword and tries to kill him. Thanks to Psycho Dave's warped stats, he somehow manages to cut off his own head, while Cheating Bastard gets beaten up by a Viking for whatever reason.
  • El Disgusto chooses to have his character break into the party's rooms and start snooping around and looting their stuff.
    Ab3: Why can't you just meet up with the damn party and not do all this weird stuff?
    El Disgusto: He's a ninja! I'm ROLE-PLAYING!
    • Unfortunately for Disgusto, he gets caught by Cheating Bastard. Since Cheating Bastard's, well, cheating means his character is a 12th level "Wizard-Cleric-Fighter-Thief-Illusionist-Druid-Ranger-Bard with limited Psionic abilities", Disgusto's character is quickly captured. Cheating Bastard then chooses to "teach him a lesson" by poking his butt with a hot fire poker, and in retribution, El Disgusto's character promptly summons Hastur.
      I for one never thought I would be glad to see the arrival of a member of the Cthulhu Mythos. Hastur showed up and stomped on the Inn killing everyone.
  • Unfortunately, death isn't the end, and their employer revives them; it's then revealed that the employer is actually Hitler, who wants their help in winning World War II, a storyline Psycho Dave vehemently defends. The last straw for Ab3 is when Short Attention Span Larry discovers Disgusto's collection of urine-filled Mountain Dew bottles, at which point he wisely books it.