Funny / Bad Lip Reading

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Music

• Snoop Dogg's interlude in "Black Umbrella" "by" Miley Cyrus:
  Let's buy two big industrial windmills, I already got one - Who needs three? Well the first one, I broke it...
  • Then later on:
    "SAMURAI."
  • Also from "Black Umbrella":
    Extra lemon in my diet Snapple makes a girl happy, yeah that's right, s**t that's right, tea's got me jamming from head to toe.
  • And later... "I'ma get dumb and bang a wizard."
  • "And I'm pregnant."
• Nearly anything that comes from Gary LeVox's mouth, thanks to the new voice. Like the completely random "NGEEHEEHEEAAH!"(sic) at the end of "Hot Jumping Beans".
  • "It's real convenient how you just threw us out and I'm sad for me."
  • "I'M HUNGRY!"
• apl.de.ap's section in "Everybody Poops", especially when it's devolved into an utterly nonsensical rant by the end.
  ...and I hate those greenish potatoes with them SOGGY FIIISH STIIIIICKS!!! ÅÅÅ!!!
  • Will.i.am's interjections during the chorus of "Everybody Poops."
    I be regular, bitches! ... Yamma yamma yam! Ah-hah! Aah!
• When Barry Gibb is outed as Too Kinky to Torture.
  • And "Barry" messing up one of the high notes.
    • His safeword is 'Souffle'.
  • Everything about shooting the hobbits.
• Nicki Minaj's rap in Dirty Spaceman, but specifically,
  I can tell I'm beginning to like Alejandro: he's brave and dapper and NOT DRUNK! And I loved his junk in high school, he's like a big, Swiss, hand rapist.
  • will.i.am also gets some funny moments. "Me and my crew, we love ping-pong and paintball all night, all night. In the morning, we can't stop 'till they think I'm a pink bunny!"
  • And The Stinger: "Lucy got a secret show cat." "MEAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
• There's something to be said for Bruno Mars doing that sideways-strut in Cool Shades going "Mirror, mirror, on my floor, am I the prettiest at the store?"
  • "Tonight, after wine, I'ma knock you in the head and then... GRANDE TACOOOOOOOOOOO! (Knock that out.)"
  • "If I had a furry pet monkey right here [monkey appears on Jay-Z's shoulder for a split second], I'd take him out to Shady Pine and get a cold beer."
  • The ridiculously happy look on Jay-Z's face as he says, "Who wants to see me give a rock to a fish?" Also, the fact that the song has Jay-Z, who has spent most of his life trying to have a badass image, say "Whoopsie-Daisy!"
  • "Is this Idaho? Because I will not limbo in Idaho."
• Michael Bublé cites the Toilet Humor moments in "Russian Unicorn" among his personal CMoFs, like the point where he holds a note being reinterpreted as a bowel movement, and the moment where he sees the girl from his Imagine Spot for real being turned into a different sort of revelation.
  "Yeah, she did it."
  • That girl is also his wife; the song is even funnier when you know that.
• "Beard With Glue": "Quit sneaking off and punching little orphaned Brazilians".
  • "'Coz I'll shave a beard with glue"
• Kimbra's comment to Gotye: "Ghetto lady thinks your froggy's name is Lou McGopher."
  • The way Gotye closes his eyes in shame after she asks him "Who really thinks you have a Waldo sack?"
  • Gotye then goes on to ask the viewer, "Can we be friends, or will you touch me?"
  • "Wookie snatcher eat a bunch of pie and then just close the door!"
• All of "It's Time To Rock", but standout lines are:
  • "Maybe it's just me, but I hate mixtapes."
  • "So, I ate a big rock, and don't think I'm a hog, but chicken smeared with funyuns, s**t really tastes good! I mean, I just ate some and it tasted so- *BURP* *wink*
  • Picking out the least flattering-looking frames to enforce the stoner image (these are mostly in the latter half of the vid) is one thing, but the additional smoke effects even match the lip flaps so you'd swear they were exhaling it.
  • Even the voiceover at the end telling you to buy the song on iTunes. "Oh my God, what if Etch-A-Sketches were real?!"
• Chewbacca.
• Beyonce: I sold my frog... Fwaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
  • The look of Joe and Beau Bidens' faces seal it, too.
• The random Nazis in "Gang Fight". "Hey, guys! Hey, Gunter! Hey, Hans!"
  • And remember — whenever Rebecca Black thinks that it's time she should go, she'll let you know by saying "OI-EE-OI."
• Yoda's character taking an abrupt dark turn at the end of "Seagulls."
  "Don't fall asleep. Don't. Fall. Asleep."

Political

• Mitt Romney: "In America, we have a song:"
  "Ding dong llama wannee, jumpin' with an ice pick, she thinks I'm goin' in!"
  • "It's simple, just [starts singing] tap-a tap it in, that's a zinger! And tell me how to poke it on Tuesday! And for you foreigners, that translates as Con leche, lucati le Fraim le prasbha farre neché ferre gecci. Làtso sofa bocci. Aiii!"
  • "Thank you for the bench. Don't commit suicide."
  • "I said, 'Son, I don't wanna hear you say bad about your mama.' And then he said... "F**k prison! I'm a party rapper, that's how I am! *applause*"
  • EHAHAH! Happy step-child.
  • "And now you got me whispering to a freak who thinks that fish have menstrual cycles."
  • "Yo' momma's pudgy. Face it."
    • "Yo momma can eat me."
• At the end of the "More Mitt" video: "That girl's a bitch." (walks away)
  • "Are you a rapist?"
  • "I'd like to get a monkey because I ate Fifi!"
  • "And now they have murder in the Spice Building. You gotta ask a black boy, "Who did it?""
  • "I butcher a deer. Every weekday, waiting for pappy."
  • "Marijuana is great, call the whippet badger."
• Rick Perry: "Some do the Olympics, and some defy the titans. Ice cream."
  • "Phew, that movie sucked! The whole script was wrong, and Seth Rogen, well, he had to serve a big red duck!"
  • "Someone had a Grade-A lungfish decorate their home for a married fools function!"
  • During the applause after one speech:
    Thank you. I wrote that.
• Ron Paul: "HOO-HAH CHERRY SODA!"
  • And that bell that refuses to ring when it should. "Free bananas! ... Ah well, never mind..."
    • Everything's blue, baby. Quick, I want you to hide me!"
  • "Everyone wants to do it and not think about the bad feces pudding."
  • "I-I-I didn't run away... I got a sandwich. And you'd love it! If... uh, I'm Ron Paul!"
  • "What if the world said 'nyah nyah nyah nyah', like a parrot, or if a baby got two, uh... two knick-knacks up her sleeve and screamed 'mahalo'?"
  • "You can give me money, and I'll go make the zoo!"
  • "At noon on Wednesday, I'm gonna be leaving a watermelon-pineapple treasure inside of Liam Neeson. He's the one with cooked fish allergies."
  • "Let's all pour lotion on the person who thinks I'm an ass. We should — we should take their wig off."
  • "I will ride the lightning. It happened to my kitty, and Elvis was part of it."
  • "Life is murder, and you're forced to fight the war. You're a pony, and you want this cookie, and yet you can't think straight. Bring on the steamed croutons."
  • "The hardest part is to shoot Ramone. I know it."
  • "Dude said, 'Have some brewskis!' And I'm freakin', 'Those are awesome! More like it!'"
  • "Give me Vaseline for when I'm having these boring x-rays!"
• Herman Cain: "It's just crazy, y'know? We ain't ever have this. An old rotten eeeagle's nest. Nachos and hog-wash! This is my juice! And I'm hungry! McDonald's Special! Gimmie a large plate! Then I'll sing, sing, sing about it!"
  • "Pouty people and whiny people, friends, SHUT YO ASS UP OR I'M GOIN' BACK TO SLEEP!" *applause*
  • "If you like, let's watch Disney. It's like a time void, and will probably result in you thinkin' you an angel."
  • "Watch out for them spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiders. And big potato moths! Big potato moths. (Beat) Achoo!"
  • [counting on his fingers] "1, 2, 3, 4 — [holds up hand] — dat's five!"
  • [long silence, looks up into the camera] "Ricky?"
  • "Cowboys and anthrax!"
  • "Mexican people don't eat sugar, especially not if it's a mix of lice and tiger DNA."
  • "I'm gonna teach you an expression: I QUIT."
  • "Women got a special feeling, though. They got an extra-fatal lady shimmer of no maximum strength. ...You could be sick poopin' out blood, and you'd still want dem!"
  • "All you can do is give that woodchuck a tuna melt. Or romantic shoes, or a metal skull-crusher."
• Rick Santorum, throwing a football: "Get the Pop Tart!"
  • "The big fat chick stunk. Like... beef. And candy depression. And gum and stuff. And if I see her sick... mmmmmmaybe I'm embarrassed."
  • He refutes his public persona at a debate:
    We got 69 ankle shoes. No no no no not no damn banana shoes. Eleven hos can't come in here and keep they shoes off. You know what the crowd says, we all homosexual…
    • Rick Perry's reaction to the above statement is priceless.
  • "I had some porn, aaand I swore, and a weird witch gagged me!"
  • "I live for donuts and venison. And that's true."
  • "Fairy crutches are bullshit."
  • "I was confused and I didn't want to have to decide to read words. The zoo was all I believed in."
  • "I just want to practice soft algebra, please..."
  • "One time I let it shoot off, it went on for half a block!"
  • "I'm crazy... and I'm right!"
• Newt Gingrich: "Hairy chest destroy our power, and I went poo-poo in the egg salad and oh Mary, oh my garsh, oh wait, that's not what I wanted to say, uh... cancer."
  • It's really the look of utter disappointment and heartbreak on his face that really sells the last bit.
  • ...'Cause that's what happens when you're f***in' high.
  • "I want to impeach Ronald Reagan."
  • "Rick James knew what I like. Hip parties with elephant money. Then the dodo disappeared, and I spent the cash."
  • "Sh*t happens. You can't bluff mule drivers."
  • "Rahsa fajza nayshee, Nacho ma jow see, Limo sacho beratti, Ee'la jeenks tao mao."
    NACHO MA JOW SEE
    LIMO SACHO BERATTI
    EE'LA JEENKS TAO MAOOO
• Joe Biden: "My friends want to shave my behind. They're putting ants into my behind. A parakeet is on my behind!" (applause) "Why are you people clapping?! Thick concrete is up my behind!"
  • A startling revelation from the 2012 Vice Presidential Debate:
    "Listen, Amy, poor people can suck it!"
  • From that same video, summing up Paul Ryan:
    "Hey, if you fancy this cow, make it now, 'cause he wants for you all to frost his lemonhead. And the lousy stiff hunts and fluffs and stinks like pee and now he's mayor of a bank!"
  • "Nobody ever gets caramel hands. 'Coz caramel hands are for terror. They're crazy lunch digits! You better not eat any. You bet I will! You potato brains!"
• President Obama flat-out asks Mitt Romney "Why are you such an asshole?" during the second presidential debate.
  • From the first: "In... horrible weather, I sneeze and I just lose the puppets."
  • Not to mention Obama's insistence that Romney is black.
  • "Now Matt, shush, because the sofa bears don't know."
  • "Ahh, but if you throw up, then it's as as a jealous woman."
  • "Ahmed, how did you know about whodunnit in the lounge?" "...I didn't know." "Oh, you didn't? Oh, well they started clapping! For the mad cow! Until someone sold him. And then when he died, they had him stuffed. Like that water buffalo. Stuffed."
  • "The hot tub is cool now" "But they poisoned it." "I know, right?"
• Paul Ryan: "I walked into a Starbucks building, and everyone started collapsing. I went to Steve-O and he said 'Okay,' he slipped into the future. He said, 'Ask about the special. 'Cause it's donut day.'"
  • "You ever have a buttcheek problem in the morning? And you're going to vomit?"
• "Highlights from the 2012 debates": "According to Mufasa, there was a lot of seaweed and that was why 11 chickens kept burping." "Get your facts straight! There was only 1 chicken! You were supposed to graduate!"
  • "Hey, if you fancy this cow, make it now!"
  • "Damnit, who ordered the bacon-crusted rooolls?"
  • "Listen Amy, poor people can suck it!" Straight from the mouth of Joe Biden.
  • Martha "Amy" Raddatz being turned on by Paul Ryan.
• Barack Obama taking the oath of office: "I'm proud to say Yo momma took a Cosby sweater. Elvis Presley had sex appeal. I'll do the spaceman boogie. I'll brush on my sassy face. There's two different Einsteins. I enjoy makeup." Especially when he stumbles on "Elvis Presley had sex appeal."
  • "Our foes in the walkways... are crab guys, but they don't have meat. They sound weird but we're sure they're not black."
  • "Now please let's all go walking down this road wearing our backwards pants."
  • "Touch the sky and colorful bears will take you for the jump"
  • "Romance is deception. Romance is a... parody. It's how we get you cuddly and naughty, naughty, and not questioning men more than a two-night's window." Easily the deepest statement from a BLR.
  • "Tonight, I'm partying more faster."
  • "Trick The Bridesmaid": "'Cause even long-legged women can't tell there's a blue-eyed hobbit, and I'm a witness for them."
    • "That's why the thick Spartan women are so important. There was a black Marge Simpson in the house. She poured black paint over both my posters and went to the office to leave a photo. Crazy women before this airhead always would cut me with an iPhone. She was crazy. So damaged. So sick."
    • "'Go to hell', you say. Bitch, just zip it!"
• Michele Bachmann:
  • The sugar fountain fairy story.
    And tell her I'll break a tree root up in her shrimp.
  • "The Hispanic piranha prom had one. Jew. Person."
• The Democratic Debate Highlights 2015:
  • Every time a question gets asked, it appears listed on the bottom of the screen like a genuine game show question, even if that question is "Can I help you?" or "Does anybody know this guy?"
  • Martin O'Malley legitimately doesn't know how babies are born.
    • After he gets stuck answering, he opts to instead call out Hillary for creepily staring at him.
  • Hillary activates a Noun Challenge, where Bernie has to name 10 nouns in 13 seconds.
    • Bernie reacts to failing the challenge in a... questionable way:
      Anderson: Oooh, time's up for Colonel Sanders!
      Bernie: Hey look, I see a dead person!
      Anderson: Oh, really, where?
      Bernie: He's got your eyes!
  • One of Anderson's questions is "Should I get a scooter?"
    Hillary: Hey, the white boy thinks it's scooter time!
  • The "Drawing Corner" segment, where all of candidates explain drawings made "earlier in the evening". Special mention goes to Lincoln Chafee, who drew "a little kid who smashed his nose" and Hillary's "bird that shoots a man in his peewee".
• First Republican Debate Highlights 2015:
  • Rand Paul (to Chris Christie): "You just froze a baby. You just froze a baby. Genital warts! You touched a genital wart! You can't touch it!"
• Ted Cruz tests out some campaign slogans that are "a little less obvious":
  Ted: I need a bogle for the glotch. Stop volution. Your face isn't my face. Mmm, that old man just took your spork. If you want boyfriend time, then you must be a girlfriend. I hate pervy records.
  • Ted Cruz tells a story to his kids:
    Ted: I went down to the summer camp and took a can of gasoline.
    Kid: Don't light the cabins on fire!
    Ted: I wish I couldn't, but it's too late.
    Kids: But doesn't that mean you go to jail?
    Ted: No, because I ran away.
  • "Oh, hi, death'll find you soon. Not sure you'll be remembered."
  • "If there's one thing our country doesn't need more of, it's goose diarrhea." The old man's reaction of exaggerated laughter really sells it.
  • [singing] "I made a hole and then barfed on the beach! Hmm-hm-hmmm! I made a hole and then barfed on the beach! I made a hole and then barfed on the beach!"
  • During an interview, Ted Cruz mentions that his wife Heidi originally wanted to marry someone else. Someone else who she goes on to talk very fondly of. And who apparently just so happens to be in the kitchen while the interview is underway.
    Ted: ...I don't want to ask who's the baby daddy. (whispering) I know it's hiiiim...
    • Earlier in the video, Heidi mentions Ted's obsession with eating human hair. At length.
  • Ted flat out calls a child "the devil".
• "Presidential Poetry Slam":
  • Someone in the audience tries asking a question:
    Lady: Yes, Lady Clinton: what does your friend know about the poop in the basket-
    Hilary: (interrupting) Ma'am, this question is over.
    Lady: O-oh, okay, thank you.
  • Donald Trump reciting a poem called "Bird's Eye" about how he always finds the body parts of dead birds in his ice cream.
• "I rung a bell, when the homies got hurt, ah-aaaAAaah... I need no one, ha-ah ah-ah ah ah—DOH!"
• Royal weddings are rife for insanity:
  • Harry has a gift for Meghan: a golden unicycle.
    Meghan: I don't want that. That present is a fail.
  • Bishop Michael Curry delivers an unhinged but strangely compelling sermon:
    Michael Curry: My friends, dog food doesn't feel so gross to the starving man. If you want a hot dog, then you gotta cook a hot dog - what?- PUT IT ON THE STOVE... But you won't get enough... You won't get enough. Does it help you to eat this wiener thing? I don't think that it does. You know, I slipped and I fell into a coffin this weekend-no I didn't! it was just a dream. It was just a dream. There wasn't a coffin. I said hurray! And do you know what I felt like? Like the best squirrel in the hole. Now let us all try to be the best squirrel in the hole.
  • "I hope you understand we're puppets".
• "White House Press Briefing":
  • Just the fact that Sarah Huckabee Sanders' Malicious Misnaming isn't that far out of character.
• Pretty much all of the 2020 Debate counts, but this one in particular
  Biden: Will someone answer the phone? The phone? Get the phone?...What?
  Chris: There's no phone that's ringing.
  Biden: No, right there, the ringing.
  Trump: I don't hear any ringing.
  Chris:...oh boy...
  • Trump asking for permission to use the C word...caring.
  • This part from Joe's five favorites
  Chris: Your favorite movie.
  Biden: Showgirls [Smirks a little]
  • "Look, people on fire need help, and people not on fire can lend the help."
  • The two candidates end the debate by Volleying Insults:
  Biden: Man, you're a bronze goblin! You're a busted scooter at the dump!
  Trump: No no no, you're so old you always smell like musty bean water. Like bean cups or something.
  Biden: (to the audience) Vote for Joe Biden, not a maggot.
  Trump: Uhhh, you got dandruff.
  Biden: You're a dirty cow sack.
  Trump: Yeah, well, you'll flee from me.
  Biden: You should bite a sword.

Sports

• From MLB:
  • "It's a flying shoe!" (throws glove)
  • The ending: An interviewer is asking a player about a penny he found when:
    Random player: (Dumps a bucket of Gatorade on the interviewer)
    Interviewer: Y'ALL GON DIE!
  • "Yeah, my fridge runs perfect, I have it in the back. [beat] So I should chase it right now?
• From "THE NFL":
  Interviewer: How are you feeling?
  Adrian Peterson: [exhausted] Egg roll. I wish I had a breeze runnin' down my leg. I'd kill for a cookie. Stingray, a double-sided Scooby Snack. Yeah, we pick our hotel.
  • "An orange peanut? For me? ... Wow... an orange peanut?! Well, I accept you!"
    • Even better, a fan actually presented an orange peanut to Peterson.
  • The referee's story of his girlfriend's apartment floor covered with beanbags.
  • "Stop doin' heroin!"
  • "Ooh, I'm white!" -high-fives his black teammate-
  • "I want it now! I want cake now! I-I want it now..."
  • Joe Staley trying to get Colin Kaepernick to help him burn that old man.
  • "I found Fido!" (barking in the background)
    • "Can I have this sloth?"
  • "Ah-AHH-ah-ah-ahhhhh!" "What's wrong with him?"
• From "More NFL":
  Trent Cole: THE GHOST IS NEAR.
  E.J. Manuel: Wait, what did he just... I'm crying inside of me.
  • "Hey, looook! -spins- I can spin around!"
  • One player being interviewed has sideburns so massive, BLR changes his name to Mr. Darcy and gives him a Victorian English voice and speaking manner.
    Mr. Darcy: Shortly, I came across a wooden stick.
  • "A baby is a little man." "A chair is somewhere to sit."
  • Dez Bryant watches the field, then flounces off, petulantly shouting, "They crushed his cape! They crushed his fuzzy cape!"
  • Zach Strief challenges Taylor Swift to a wrestling match.
• From "NFL 2015":
  • "That girl! She's so... so pretty! You guys don't have a problem with this?!"
  • Apparently the reason Cam Newton is so mad involves a Syrian Prince, living in his uncle's cabin with their sheepdog Paco Sinbad.
  • "JELLY FACE!"
  • Apparently one of the interviewers served rodent meat to the other. Not that he meant to.
  • Dez Bryant is practically addicted to Funyuns it seems.
• From NFL 2016 (Part one):
  • One of the refs admits (on microphone) he doesn't want to measure where he puts the football.
  • Carbon catalysts actually fuel reclimated intake cores with y-exponets.
  • One player apparently got badly hurt during a game:
    Man: Okay, what's broken? His leg bone, and his tail bone, his arm bone, his head bone?!
  • A referee is apparently a Wu-Tang fan given he says "Long live Wu-Tang" in the middle of a game:
    Random player: Huh?
  • At the end a player is hosting an animal themed party. They have a fish, tarantula, maybe a cougar (not a rat). Last he checks what noises pigs make:
    Players: OINK! OINK! (They grunt twice) OINK! OINK! (and again) MOO! That last one is not a pig sound!
• Part Two
  • The best job a player could imagine without a wig is being a dodgeball player. He does however, praise some waffles as gourmet.
  • A cheerleader squad is horrendously off tune, yet one observer likes it.
  • Blake Bortles apologizes for having "wine hands" while making a weird hand gesture.
  • Another player apparently is down a kidney.
  • A player in a green outfit somehow cut his head with a green bean.
• NFL 2017
  • Apparently one player is such a braggart the others can predict exactly when he'll boast.
  • A coach asks his team who took his tires, while giving them all high fives.
  • Lord Edwin Jackson wishes to dance across the world.
  • A player is asked if his concussion is really that serious. His reply?
    Player: Ah, tell your mama to tell mama, we splice the dice, we splice the dice. Yet we have no dice. Yo, I was at the mall, offloading some spaceships, and I shaved a mannequin and I never will love no more.
• NFL 2018
  • Somehow Saw Gerrera from Rogue One joined the NFL:
    Saw: Young man, why run?
  • Upon being asked about new nicknames, a player gives a reporter this list: "Wippa Zow, Greg, Booty Fabacca, Coco Bolivia, Human Stick Observer”. There is one nickname he does like though: “Dolphin the Goldfish”
• NFL 2019:
  • One team has this as a pre-game chant:
    Team: Winkle, Winkle, Wink wittle ghost! And kiss a pickle as you haunt your tree, hey!
  • Lane Johnson is guilty of intense carpet theft.
  • Apparently some players sent crates of apples to NASA. During the night no less.
  • An entire team gets rats as a present.
  • Ndamukong Suh gets one line. What does he say?
    Suh: Lobster scrotum pasta.
  • Tom Brady briefly loses it, ordering one player to stop standing, another to stop drinking,and saying a third is a spy.
    • Given a coach says "Oh no, it's happening again", this isn't even the first time.
• NFL 2020:
  • A very confused coach made it through a maze, only to be greeted by Queece Boringman.
  • Another player insists you buy his electric guitar, the real reason he is famous.
  • Two coaches engage in a magic duel:
    Coach 1: Ice!
    Coach 2: Lightning! Grr grr grr grr!
    Coach 1: Repel!
    Coach 2: Return!
    Coach 1: Fright mode!
    Coach 2: Wait, no!
    Coach 1: eYAHH!
    Coach 2: Oh dear.
• From "The NBA":
  • Rajon Rondo accusing a referee of having been sent by The Illuminati.
  • "How could you not like snow?! Snow?! Snow! Snow! Snow? I lick snow! It's totally normal! It's not harmful! Hey, you know what? Like, y'all don't know snow like I do! See, like, I'm like a snow lover!"
  • One player tries to talk to another, but is repeatedly told he has “beans within the mouth”
  • Instead of the national anthem, Fergie instead sings about falling down (precisely one) step, then laments nobody wants her bread.

Technology

• "Apple Product Launch"
  • The showcased products include:
    • Apple Skin Twist (Which can make up to 50% more flaps)
    • The Apple Lickamaforbus (a plant based guitar with walnut spores). Then the guy admits they're just trend-setting, and that 'Lickamorbus' frankly sounds like the name of a sex robot.
    • The Apple Handsome Anthony (personal robot servant). However, if Anthony ever asks for Gepetto, he must be destroyed.
    • Apple Wings (flavors "Mystery Colon," "Soul Snatcher" and "Aye Aye Kevin"),
    • Apple Socks, (Which never get explained)
    • The Apple Hole (a Mac Pro with a black hole in the top). Among other uses you can timeswitch four checkers into a Weredonkey. Alas, not portable.
    • The Apple Garfenafuten Tuten-Juten Exiobalexis (Garf-exi for short). However, it even stumps its own creators.
    • The Apple Wish Prince, which will grant your wishes (even for Diamonds) but doesn't shut up. Tyler is likely no longer the Apple tech guy.
    • The Apple DeBonk DeBonk (a musical can opener),
    • Apple Toast (cinnamon flavored.)
    • The Apple Windmill,
    • The Apple Steven Forkhead (you stick a fork in it, and you hear a doorbell)
  • But after the Wish Prince, Craig (the man in the blue shirt) goes into a rant that starts with him working in a Backgammon store, before seemingly being put on trial, involving the very loud Irish woman Linda Foop ( who possessed hard tooth enamel)
• Mark Zuckerberg is being interogated during a Congressional hearing. Hilarity Ensues:
  • Right off the bat, Mark asks his mom for his Frodo ring. While he is sitting before a committee of senators.
  • Attempts at questioning Mark get hampered by him repeatedly loudly sipping water.
    Senator: 'Kay, how 'bout you just chug the water? (Mark continues to sip; bubbling noises start up) I want you to cut it off- are you blowing bubbles? I'm gonna have to spank yoooooooou.
  • Everyone gets creeped out by Mark's stone-cold face.
    Senator 2: I swear, it's like he's got a mask on. (to Mark) Listen, kid, blink if you're not a lamp.
    Mark: (does nothing)
    Senator 2: Weeeeeeeeeeeell...
    • Mark is asked to smile. The result is so horrifying that he's asked to not do that again for the rest of the day.
  • A third Senator downright forgets what he was intending to ask, only to remember:
    Senator 3: So if I have the facebook, do I have the internet?
    Mark: Um,yeah.
  • A fourth Senator derails the entire hearing to try and sell his van, despite Mark repeatedly asking him not to elaborate:
    Mark: No, please don't send anything.
    Senator 4: Okay, I guess you're stupid.
    Mark: It's just a van.
    Senator 4: I told you, it's a special van!
  • The next Senator tries asking for dating advice:
    Senator 5: Do you think I should shave my head for a Frenchman? Cause some people say 'You should shave your head!' ehhhhhhh what do you think?
  • The hard hitting questions are not spared:
    Senator 6: Mr. Zuckerman... (groans) World War I was awful, do you agree?
    Mark: (confused) ... Uh, yes?
    Senator 6: (groans) Well— (scoff) why are we even here, then?
  • Senator Graham is not even paying attention, instead singing an In-Universe song called "Judy Moonlight" to himself the whole time. He eventually realizes that that might not be what he should be doing right now, but just explains that "it's a really great song."
  • The 8th Senator downright tells Mark to ask him a question, (does he like his heart rate) only to say he'd get back to Mark.
  • Senator Number 9 isn't even concerned with the Senate hearing and tried to break into Mark's Porsche.
  • Number 10 swings his arm out, then demands Mark to stare at his hand. (It's traditional apparently. And he gets really emotional about it. Either that or Mark's hairstyle hurt his feelings.)
  • Senator Eleven mentions "weenies" that Mark's neighbor Barb tries to give him.
  • The twelfth Senator forgets Mark's name and his only question about Bojang Bugami is the etymology.
  • The fourteenth Senator claims to have known Einstein, who apparently had a green bean bag, an ample supply of chocolate milk, and if he were still around, a vehement dislike of Facebook.
    Senator 14: I can tell ya what Einstein woulda said about Facebook: horse manure pile.
    Mark: Um, that's cool.
    Senator: Turd satchel. Remember, those are Einstein's words.
  • The last Senator sends us off with this:
    Senator 15: (hoarse whisper) Hey Mark. Do you have a painful scrote?
    Mark: Um, no I do not.
    Senator 15: Well, you will in time.

Live-Action Television

• The Governor's "Broadway" song at the end of "The Walking (and Talking) Dead". "La-bibbida-bibbi-dum. La-bibbida-bibbi-do."
  The Governor: ♫~ I always wanted a Wookie, then I found out they weren't real. (Thanks for nothing George Lucas!) ~♪
  • The zombies' lines of dialogue can be quite humorous as well. "Guess what? I just ate a hot dog!"
    • The singing zombies as well.
  • Racial concerns:
    Morgan Jones: "You think you're black?!"
    Rick: "I'm black, yeah."
    Morgan Jones: "Brother, you got skin like an English kid.
    Rick: "But I don't like coffee..."
    Morgan Jones: [dead serious] "But you'd eat a bagel."
  • DREET
  • This.
    Rick: "Knock, knock."
    Andrea: "Who's there?"
    Rick: "Why don't you zip it?"
  • "A friend of mine got a foot. And it's juicy."
    Dale: What the hell are you talkin' about?
  • "I don't wanna mess up your dumb potato basket."
  • "Y'know, fish can hear you thinking just before you sneeze."
  • "I know what it takes to make you hot".
  • The extended version of "La-Bibbida-Bibba-Dum".
    The Governor: I found out from Orlando, that biter who's a handyman.
    Rick: Whoa, whoa, wait, you got a handyman that's a walker?
    The Governor: Well, to be honest, he breaks more things than he fixes, but, he's still got most of his face, so... I trust him.
    • "Starfish command!"
    • The Governor calling Rick "Ricardo".
    • The long-suffering Rick begging the Governor to stop singing.
  • Tyreese gets honest:
    Tyreese: Hey papi. Oh.
    Alan: You just like me for my weed.
    Tyreese: Yes, I will admit it.
  • As T-Dog, Beth and Lori are driving away from Hershel's farm in the morning:
    T-Dog: [singing] "An old man... he got wet... I was talkin' to a psychic... and I can't sleep in the o-zone... there's too many different peanuts lookin' saaad..."
    Lori: I-I-I would like to go now.
  • Poor Hershel himself begins showing signs of senility in "MORE WALKING (AND TALKING) DEAD: PART 2":
    Hershel: Now, listen, kids... now, don't think you can just squirt your loogies on the floor!
    Rick: Okay, what?
    Hershel: Now, wiggity woah, daddy. I mean, why can't everybody just be like... like Prince? An angel with a little afro.
• The "Medieval Land Fun-Time World" video, start to finish.
  • Eddie (Eddard) being the Only Sane Man.
    Eddie: Okay, people, we've got one week until the park opens, so let's do it all again. This time, please don't forget your accents.
    Bobby B (Robert): Get off my case! It's hot in this getup, you chode!
    (Eddie drops his megaphone with an exasperated expression.)
  • From Terry (Tyrion): "Are you a fan of the Pikachu?"
    Eddie: Uhhhh...
  • Peter (Littlefinger) making burgers composed of kitten meat.
    Eddie: D-Did that just happen?!
  • Apparently, Viserys kissed Johnny Shotsman.
    Viserys: (Gasp) HE WAS A CAPRICORN!
  • "You think they should make i-Phones for babies? CAUSE I DO."
  • "Terry" and "Jo Jo" calmly conducting a drug deal while a riot rages around them.
  • The truly epic fart joke at the end of the video involving Grand Maester Pycelle. The timing and editing adds to the feel that it is an actual trailer for a comedy film.
• The entire part of "Sing-Song Contest of America" in which Caleb Johnson swallows a bug and wanders around the stage choking into the microphone.

  Caleb: [as Jennifer Lopez starts swaying on her seat] Oh no, please don't do the sexy dance!

  • Not to mention the beginning of the video, where Caleb serenades the cake man:
    Caleb: It's the cake maaaan... oh my gosh! Yeaheah-ARUGH (slips and falls onto the floor)

Movies

• From the Hunger Games,
  Katniss: I'M THE QUEEN!
  • As well as:
    Katniss: You... stink! mmmmyaaaaaahhh!
    Clove: Yay, a goat!
  • HE BARFED ON THE SAILOR LIKE A PIG! AND THE POLICE ATE TIMOTHY!
  • Katniss to Prim: "Face it, you're the devil!"
    • "NO! NO!"
  • "You're too excitable!"
    Cinna: Drank.
    Haymitch: He is so right.
  • "Do something fruity!" "No thank you!"
    Haymitch: (To Peeta) "Hey, Joe—Wait, who's Joe?"
    Katniss: "Oh, wait, wait, you're not Joe? I thought he was Joe?"
    Haymitch: "He's CODFISH JOE!"
  • Gale during the "purse" scene:
    Gale: (to Katniss in a whisper) Scooby-Doo.
• Twilight has some good ones:
  Bella: Y'know, I spit on my brother.
  Edward: Yikes... I, um—
  Bella: Yeah, that whole, um, brother thing... Mmm-mm!
  Edward: ...Gross.
  Bella: He's Kevin, so...
  Edward: Mmkay.
  Bella: KEEEEVVVV-INNNNN.
  • Bella getting mad at Edward for punching a fish.
    Edward: (sheepishly) I wanted to make some seafood.
    Bella: That's so... loser-ly.
• From "More Edward and Bella": "Can you get me an earwig?"
  • Edward asking Bella to shave his back.
  • Bella's rabbit:
    Bella: Today my rabbit went to the hospital. Little Dougie.
    Edward: Well he's dead then. No, not to be weird, it's just expensive. They're not going to just fix your boring rabbit.
• Courtesy of "TWILIGHT III", we finally have the reason that Bella/Kristen Stewart frowns so much: she just wants some lettuce.
• 'Peter and Gwen'
  Gwen: Kiss me.
  Peter: I can't. I have a really big wedgie. [tearing up] And I made no friends buying the spork!
  • Also:
    Peter: [cheerfully] I'd like to slap you, boo.
    Gwen: Why?
    Peter: I hate your food.
• The end of "OBSIDIOTS: Live from District 11"
  Peeta: Everybody raise your hand if you like this song!
  (No one raises their hand. Katniss continues singing)
  Peeta: Raise your hand if you want us to leave.
  (Everyone raises their hand)
  • The entirety of "Choo Choo Go", right from the very first line:
    Peeta: [singing] Well now you know your grandma found the wigs/Your family gives you tumors, every year...
  • "Musical reply!"
• From "More Hunger Games".
  Haymitch: (to Katniss) You like very simple guys!
  Katniss: (robotic) I-am-afraid-we-are-in-a-castle.
  • Katniss apparently can't eat fruit without singing afterward. Haymitch tries to get her to stop because people will make fun of her voice.
  • Effie Trinket's only speaking role, a brief yet surreal song:
    Effie: ♪Spread your cheeks and clap, then smack your doctor/I'm gonna go do that/Right now♪
  • Katniss and Gale's argument at the beginning.
    Katniss: (weird voice) I don't really care what you just said to me!
    Gale: Of course, you're insane.
    Katniss: You're not my friend.
    Gale: Sweet.
    Katniss: I know you stole my yellow fanny pack.
    (Gale gives her a "WTF" look)
• All of "Redneck Avengers", but an especially funny touch is how the SHIELD organization's base is now in a trailer, complete with a crude cardboard sign saying "SHIELD" outside.
• "Icarus Thicke":
  • Icarus (It) is apparently neighbors with one of the Loser's Club, and invites them to a party:
    Icarus: If you like frozen salsa, and old spoons.
    Stan: You mean what I most crave?
  • When they arrive:
    Icarus: Did y'all bring me some fruit?
    Richie: Only... cheese.
    Icarus: Well that's frickin' unfourtanate!
  • Richie: It's a tree squirrel! (Gets beaned in the head with a rock)
  • Upon having his arm snapped back into place, Bill both farts and sings at the top of his lungs.
  • Trading insults:
    Richie: I'm a stiff little french fry!
    Stan: Then you need salt, son!
    Richie: Blue's Clues! I'm done!
    Stan: Oh, no! Shh! There's a snake in your pocket! Yeah, you scared right now! Y'all don't know me! Shawshank!
  • What Thicke does with Bill after capturing him:
    Icarus: You do singing for me, huh?
    Bill: No!
    Icarus: Uuuummm, yes!
    Bill: I am the worst at the store because I am a... shopaholiiic!
  • Ben's plan to deal with Icarus. To put a fork in his fart.
    Bev: What does that mean?
    Ben: He'll fart, and I'll stick a fork in the fart while you film it.
    Bev, confused: Why is he saying 'fart', guys? A fart's just gas. Where would you stick the knife?
    Bill: No, he said a fork. Know thy utensils!
  • Georgie giggling long and creepily enough to disturb Icarus.