Funny / Agents Of SHIELD Season Six

Funny Moments from Season Six of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..

For funny moments from other seasons, go to the appropriate page.

• Season One
• Season Two
• Season Three
• Season Four
• Season Five
• Season Six
• Season Seven

Season Six

Missing Pieces

• Even with tensions onboard Zephyr One nearing a boiling point, Piper and Davis manage to take a few snarky potshots at each other.

Window of Opportunity

• During May's brawl with Sarge's group, she blocks off the portal leading to the jewelry store's vault just before Snowflake can rejoin the fray, causing the latter to smack right into the truck's wall and fall unconscious to the floor.

Fear and Loathing on the Planet of Kitson

• Upon hearing the description of Kitson, Piper notes that it sounds like Florida.
• When Daisy, Jemma, and Davis eat some of the alien treats that Enoch had prevented Fitz from snacking on earlier, the three experienced SHIELD agents start behaving like giggling stoners while experiencing some of the most surreal hallucinations imaginable.
  • After making their way to the bar, Jemma asks why they came here anyway. Daisy reminds her that they're on a mission...ladies night!
  • After noting that Jemma had such a big "nerd face" when they first met, Daisy asks if she's in House Gryffindor. Jemma responds that it's actually House Ravenclaw. She really isn't Hermione.
  • The episode brings back Fitz's love for monkeys in the weirdest way possible: by having Jemma hallucinate a tiny Fitz dressed as a monkey dancing on her straw.
    Jemma: Hello, little monkey Fitz!
  • At one point, the stoned Daisy tells Jemma how much she cherishes their friendship, only to turn and see that Jemma left at some point, and she's been rambling to an alien gambler, who then hits on her.
  • Jemma loses her shoes at one point spending the rest of the episode in her socks. And, as strict and no-nonsense as Jemma has been this season, plus the fact, Jemma's clothing is usually very plain, it's amusing that she's wearing very cute socks with a heart pattern.
  • After hearing a sound that only registers to humans, Daisy and Jemma realize that Fitz is in the casino, and immediately move to stand up...and hit their heads on the table they're still under.
  • When the Chronicom hunters arrive at the bar, Daisy tries to quake them, but her aim is off because she's still stoned. So Jemma has to aim for her.
    Jemma: (grabbing Daisy's hand) I've got you. Fire!
  • After flooring one of the Chronicoms, Daisy tells Jemma to go find Fitz, giving her version of Tony Stark's "Because if we can't protect the Earth you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it":
    Daisy: If I can't quake it, I'll break it!
  • After being forced onto a table, Daisy split kicks two, then gives a little victory spin on the table. This causes the table's spinning feature to activate.
  • It also leads to us getting this gem, when a still stoned Jemma is trying to convince the bouncer that she needs to get into the room where Fitz is.
    Jemma: The dolphin told me in a secret message only I can hear.
    Bouncer: ...Lady, you need to stay off those puffs.
    Jemma: Is it that obvious?
    Bouncer: You've been under that table for 20 minutes!
    • Also, the fact that the bouncer was completely unfazed, even kind of nice (in an "it's just a harmless junkie, no need to be mean" way) about Simmons being stoned. Which makes sense, considering it's more than likely that he deals with those kinds of situations every day.
• Enoch's existential crisis after learning he's been decommissioned, especially since his stoic, matter-of-fact cadence makes him into a Cold Ham.
  Enoch: I am useless now. I have soiled the integrity of Chronicoms. The name Enoch will be an unspeakable sound.
  Fitz: That isn't helping. We need to find a way out of here or they're gonna skin us alive.
  Enoch: They can have my skin. I don't need it anymore. It is my uniform of shame.
  • And still moping...
    Enoch: Why do I exist? I am nothing. I'm a speck of dust in the infinite.
    Fitz:' Okay, Enoch...
    Enoch: An afterthought in the worm-ridden mind of the black void.
    Fitz: Okay. I'm gonna need you to spark up. So you take a break from being infinite nothing and do that for me?
    Enoch: Why would I do anything when there is no purpose? We will all soon be dust and rust.
    Fitz: 'Cause you're my best friend. Remember? That's your purpose.
  • While trying to find a way out of the game room, Fitz notices a distinctive odor.
    Fitz: What is that smell?
    Enoch The foul stench of the name "Enoch"?
• The fact that there's an alien who's blood is mostly sulfur is actually pretty cool. That alien being killed over what is essentially a game of Blackjack is horrifying. Fitz then tearing the alien's arm off and using the stump to paint the door to the room so he and Enoch can blow it off its hinges? That's one of the moments that takes the line and plays Double Dutch with it.
  • Arguably worse: the alien's species are called Crepitolians. However, the way Enoch pronounces it sounds exactly like Crap-itolian, which makes the stinky sulfuric blood joke even funnier.
• At the end of the episode, FitzSimmons are finally reunited, only for the hunter to teleport in and kidnap Fitz before teleporting out. Jemma is staring in horrified confusion, wondering if what she just saw really happened...then Enoch walks out of the still smoking game room, sees Jemma, and utters a genuinely confused "Jemma Simmons? You should not be here." before ending the episode.

Code Yellow

• Deke's Framework video game involves fighting the Kree aboard the Lighthouse... and a flirtatious Daisy throwing herself on him. Later, when he uses the game to take out Jaco and Mack sees its version of Daisy, he gives Deke a mile-long stare that combines shock, disgust, and anger.
  Deke: Two percent? I'll give you two percent of this whole company if you don't tell anyone about this.
  • Then there's Jaco's perspective. First he's in an office building, then he's in a strange corridor surrounded by various alien species (including Remorath and Kree), then a strange woman confronts him, smacks him, then hugs him. Poor guy doesn't even know where to begin processing what the hell is going on.
• Just the fact that Deke is running a startup company that's reverse engineering technology he grew up with in 2091.
• Benson's reaction to autopsying one of the parasite victims.
  Benson: This is the strangest autopsy I've conducted since... the last one. Who expects to see a man in a wall? Or a wall in a man?
• Deke is less concerned over a Coulson twin trying to kill him then learning right-hand man Trevor has been an undercover SHIELD agent this whole time.
  Deke: At least tell me you didn't let me win at "Remorath Rumble."
  Trevor: Okay. I won't tell you that.
  • Deke is now convinced Trevor was faking "freezing up" at an "escape room" trip and could have solved it in record time.
• After Mack takes out Pax in a fight, Deke shoots him repeatedly with an ICEr even though he's already unconscious, while an annoyed Mack watches. And when Jaco comes in moments later, Deke tries to shoot him, only to find that the ICEr is out of ammunition.
  • Sequoia's reaction to meeting Mack.
    Deke: This is Mack, he's-
    Sequoia: Really tall and muscular.
    Deke: (annoyed) ...An agent of SHIELD.
• The Stinger is Deke's girlfriend Sequoia's Instagram video of the events of the episode, including music and emojis.
  • The cherry-on-top is the not-so-subtle implication that she's dumped Deke in favor of Trevor, the SHIELD agent that Mack assigned to babysit Deke.
  • When Sarge and his squad arrive at the company, she initially mistakes them for a group of mocap actors.

The Other Thing

• Enoch is still in his Heroic BSoD, causing Davis to question if they can just switch him off.
  Enoch: There is no hope, only loss. Decommissioned. Hunted. I have become a cautionary tale used to steer children away from a life of crime and excess.
  Davis: Would it be rude to turn him off? His constant complaining is giving me a headache.
  Piper: Yeah, well, you are the Puff-Head who got high and shot up our super-threatening fuse box, so...
  Davis: Never mind. Sorry I was wrong. The source of the headache is Piper. Definitely Piper.
  Daisy: Okay, Enoch, we made... a lot of noise on Kitson, and we only have enough fuel for one more jump left, so we can't hang around up here. Who was that bounty hunter, and why would he have taken Fitz?
  Enoch: Poor Fitz. Though now I walk alone, I will never forget my one and only friend.
  Daisy: Your only friend? (Beat) But you have us.
  Enoch: When last we met, I forcibly abducted your team and sent you all into a dystopian future.
  Daisy: Yeah, maybe not the....best start, but in the end, you really came through. In the future, you sacrificed yourself for us. Without you, we never would have been able to get home and save Earth from destruction.
  Enoch: The human race has survived its extinction-level event?
  Daisy: And it was all because of....you.
  Simmons: Our very, very good friend.
• Trevor notes that Deke is knocked out while recovering from the previous episode, and quips that it's nice to finally have him quiet.
• The normally eloquent Enoch actually refers to Fitz as his "bestie" upon seeing him again.
• Once again, Piper and Davis manage to keep up their Like an Old Married Couple-level bickering in spite of how dire the circumstances are.

Inescapable

• Fitz's startled yelp when the virtual world turns Jemma into a seven-year-old.
  • And all of his subsequent aggravated interactions with the now little girl.
  • He stops Jemma's interest in reading a bedtime story from the Darkhold by saying it's "a bad book. Poorly written."
  • How does Fitz get child!Jemma angry enough that she turns back to normal? Mention Aida.
• Jemma reveals that she's been suppressing all her negative emotions since childhood, or as she puts it, keeping everything "neat and tidy". Scottish Fitz's reaction is to state that she's "so English".
• The shouting match FitzSimmons goes through in the containment pod is mainly pretty turbulent, but there are a few moments of levity.
  • "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THAT HORROR MOVIE!!"
    • Fitz's enthusiastically desperate hand flaps and frustrated tone absolutely sell the reaction.
  • When they reach the subject of their egos, Fitz remarks that Evil!Jemma is currently eating at Mack's face. Jemma heads over to the window to see, clearly not believing him, but the expression she had suggests that, yep, that's exactly what she's doing.
  • Jemma accidentally triggers Fitz's memory of being trapped at the bottom of the ocean, causing water to explode out the containment pod's vents.
    Fitz: Had to mention it, didn't you?!
  • After they finally work out their issues, FitzSimmons step out of the containment pod to face their evil selves... who, as a result of said therapy, are now vigorously making out. FitzSimmons can only tilt their heads at the bizarre sight, especially once they realize they're acting out something Fitz had no idea Jemma was into.
    Fitz: What. The Hell?
    Jemma: Okay...o-okay.
    Fitz: That... is abso—whoa!
    (Jemma covers her mouth in shock when the Doctor and Nightmare Simmons fall to the floor as their making out turns to full sex, while FitzSimmons tilt their heads upon realizing what their counterparts are doing.)
    Fitz: Oh. Oh, wow! Didn't know you liked that.
    Jemma: (eyes widening) Didn't know you'd do that.
  • That last one might leave some interesting ideas about what exactly FitzSimmons get up to in the privacy in their bedroom.
• With FitzSimmons stabilizing their relationship and psyches, Atarah reveals how much time passed in the real world: five minutes, 33 seconds. That has to be a record as far as couples counseling goes. Especially when one considers just what FitzSimmons have been put through in the past five seasons.
• Enoch's Badass Boast after taking out the other Chronicoms is both awesome and weirdly endearing.
  Enoch: I have taken bold action.
  • And when he activates the teleportation device:
    Enoch: Embrace me!
• Just as they're escaping the Chronicoms, Jemma mentions to Fitz that they have a grandson. He's only able to get out a dumbfounded "what?" before they're teleported away.
• During The Stinger, Mack tries to very dramatically tell Daisy that the Shrike are on Earth, only for her to cut him off as she figures out what he's about to say.
  Mack: Kinda stole my thunder there.

Toldja

• After bringing Sarge in, May explains what Sarge told her to the rest of the team. While a little more animated when explaining what Sarge told her about himself, once May reaches the Shrike and the potential destruction of Earth, she starts to sound more bored than anything else.
• Enoch is unfamiliar with how to use the teleportation device, so it takes him and FitzSimmons back to the casino in Kitson. Where they are wanted fugitives. And before he can reprogram the teleporter, a patron plays around with it and is boom-ed away.
• When discussing what he plans to do with them, Kitson explains that Enoch is far too valuable to kill, so he'll be put to work... in the brothels. Guess Enoch wasn't lying when he told Fitz he'd make a good prostitute!
  • As usual, Enoch himself is the gift that keeps on giving. His response to being told where he's going to be working is absolutely priceless.
    Enoch: (sounding a little, um, "dazed") I do not know what I am feeling.
• Upon seeing that they are set up to be killed with a guillotine at the casino, Simmons can't believe this is how she and Fitz are going to go out.
• Fitz's hilarious scream as the guillotine blade lowers.

Collision Course (Part 1)

• The episode's official description got some laughs when it described the Big Bad as "the galaxy-hopping hate beast". Even better in that this is used In-Universe when Daisy describes Izel as such.
• After Mack refers to Jaco as "The Big Guy", noting that he usually doesn't have to deal with people bigger than him, Yo-Yo teases him by saying he now knows how everyone else feels about him.
• Daisy wonderfully keeps a dry face when Sarge asks what fighting skills she has, and she states "I can hold my own."
  • When Daisy says she's a "hacker," Snowflake eagerly asks if that means "you hack off limbs."
  • May also gives a quiet smirk. She's proud of her little girl.
• When Mack mentions the 2% share of Deke's company that he was offered as a bribe to keep quiet about his VR game's portrayal of Daisy, Deke tries to write it off as a joke. Mack then threatens to tell Daisy after all, getting Deke to bump the share up to 10% and agree to help on the mission.
  • Prior to this, Deke said he can't join the mission because he has responsibilities to his employees, his shareholders, and his masseuse. He also mentions that he has a personal shaman to give him spiritual advice.
• While Deke is napping on the truck on the way to intercept the Shrike, Snowflake suddenly corners him, clamps a hand over his mouth, and makes an ominous comment about "spilling [his] soul open". A while later, Daisy and May realize they haven't seen Deke in a while, and upon hearing his cries, rush to find... him and Snowflake in the middle of sex. To the utter disgust of the two agents.
  Deke: It's not what it looks like.
  May: You have a hickey.
  Deke: Okay, it's exactly what it looks like.
  Daisy: I need Bleach for my eyes.
  • Sarge is just as disgusted as May and Daisy are.
    Sarge: Really, Snow? I liked it better when you killed them.
• After Sarge threatens Deke into fixing the Shrike repeller, Sarge then turns around and, without a hint of anger in his voice, asks if May or Daisy would like anything for breakfast.
  Sarge: (to Deke, angrily) I expect it to work. If we face her without it, we'll all end up as hosts. FIX IT! (to Daisy and May, calmly) Morning. Anyone hungry?
• Fitz's disbelief that Jemma's prior experience with the puffs made her see a tiny him dancing in a monkey suit.
• Fitz has had many rivals (both real and perceived) for Jemma's affections, but the strangest has to be his own temporal doppelgänger, including taking potshots at Alternate Fitz for leaving Jemma unsatisfied on their wedding night. She in turn can't believe the absurdity that he's essentially jealous of himself, which Fitz fully acknowledges he's all too aware of.
• May asks about Izel's motivations, which Sarge sums up as hate for all living things. Daisy asks what Sarge's motivation is:
  Sarge: Love.
  (Beat as Daisy and May give him disbelieving stares)
  Sarge: No, it's hate. That's my thing too.
• Sarge explains his plan to kill Izel: stab her with a sword.
  Daisy: A Galaxy-hopping hate-beast that eats planets, and you want to defeat her with a, um, Sword?
  Sarge: (sincerely) It's sharp. Feel it.
• Maybe it's relative, but there's something funny about English Jemma calling someone "Mr. Toad."
• How easily Yo-Yo manages to stop Pax and Jaco's escape attempt, leaving them dumbfounded.
  • The only problem Yo-Yo experiences is getting Jaco back in the containment pod. Not because he can stop her, but because Jaco is too big and heavyset to move with just one Super-Speed push (it takes her two).

Collision Course (Part 2)

• The gang demand to know what Sarge's device does.
  Snowflake: All he said was the slightest impact will split the smallest unit of matter in half which makes a big noise.
  Daisy: An atom bomb. You just described an atom bomb!
  Snowflake: I hear it's pretty.
• When Sarge's rig crashes into the Shrike tower, Daisy manages to keep the atom bomb from exploding by quaking it at a frequency that keeps it exactly still. Daisy, May, Deke, and Snowflake all let out sighs of relief... and then Snowflake jumps into Deke's arms, where they begin kissing. Daisy and May groan in disgust, and the looks on their faces say that they almost want to let the bomb go off.
  • Later, when Deke and Snowflake are being Sickeningly Sweethearts:
    Daisy: I don't know which one has worse taste.
    May: She's the serial killer.
• As the Shrike are circling the rig, Snowflake says that she can feel a lot of negative energy around. May sarcastically quips "Great insight, thanks". Snow's face lights up like it's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about her.
• After May stabs a Shrike right before it goes into Deke's mouth, she laments that she was "this close to shutting you up".
• FitzSimmons are hiding from the Shrike-infested crew inside a cramped cargo container. Out of the blue, Fitz tells Jemma "You smell nice". Jemma's face is a weird combination of "You're talking about this now?" and "Aw, that's sweet".
• While boarding the ship to rescue FitzSimmons, Mack reminds Jaco that they are not to kill any of the crew. When Jaco shoots a crew member on reflex, Mack lays into him... only for the Shrike-infested crewman to get back up.
  Mack: Never mind, good call.
• Fitz's reunion with Team Coulson leads to some funny moments.
  • Mack is so excited he Bear Hugs Fitz so tightly that Fitz complains about the pain.
  • Deke calls Fitz by the nickname "Bobo," and says how much he missed Fitz and that it's so good to see him, even though this Fitz has never met Deke. It's still a better first impression than selling Daisy to Kasius.
• After rescuing FitzSimmons, Jaco makes a portal for the team to escape:
  Jemma: I like you.
  Jaco: Well, that's because I'm likable.

Leap

• Yo-Yo has May recount what she remembers from before she blacked out and shot Sarge.
  May: There were beers and toasts. Davis was hammered. You and Mack were clearly about to have sex...
  Yo-Yo gives her a look
  May: You asked me what I remember.
• When Davis is walking through the events surrounding his blackout, he mentions that May was acting "sweet" when he encountered her.
  Yo-Yo: Melinda May was sweet? (to Daisy) Does that word have another meaning?
  • When Daisy and Yo-Yo go to see Davis, they find him sleeping it off in his room, mentioning that he can't party like he used to, and ruefully noting that he survived "the great puff incident of 2019".
    Yo-Yo: (looks at Daisy in confusion)
    Daisy: (shakes her head as if to say "Don't Ask").
• May's reaction when filled in on Izel's actions.
  Mack: We got a body-swapping alien on the loose.
  May: Of course we do.
• When the group is recounting things only they and one other person would know, to try and identify who's possessed by Izel, Davis' big secret revealed by Daisy is that on one of the alien planets the team visited, he... stole a pen.
  Deke: A pen?
  Davis: A space pen! Aliens write things, I didn't know that.
  Daisy: Davis is clear. And ridiculous.
• When Fitz mentions Ghost Rider to Deke:
  Deke: Is he called that because he's a ghost who rides people?
  • Fitz, having witnessed the Spirit of Vengeance moving from host to host twice, decides that this is actually a pretty apt description.
• When Deke repeatedly mentions that Fitz's time doppelganger coined the rather ridiculous term "Fear Dimension", Fitz responds by saying he's the "smart one" of him and his doppelganger, still jealous of himself. Even May can't believe what she's hearing.

From the Ashes

• After Jemma tells Daisy that she shouldn't keep bottling her emotions up from Coulson's death, Daisy goes down to interrogate Sarge... then snaps his neck by quaking him. When Jemma calls her on the intercom and demands an explanation:
  Daisy: I took your advice. Stopped keeping things bottled up.
  Jemma: I meant a little emotional honesty, not murder!

The Sign

• Fitz often gets frustrated with Deke in this episode.
  • After they argue about Deke's worth, he uses his work-in-progress teleporter to jump to the temple. Later, when he tries to return after getting the Shrike's attention, he only ends up on the other side of the corridor. Fitz shouts that it needs time for recharging. Deke asks why he didn't tell him that sooner, to which he screams "YOU JUMPED AWAY!"
  • While hiding from the Shrike, Deke gets the inspiration to create a unique game no one ever played before, which would mainly feature zombies. Simmons hesitates for a second before encouraging him to go for it, while Fitz just sighs.
  • Deke has to run across the jungle to head to the Zephyr and needs directions. Then doesn't know which way is West.
    Fitz: Towards the bloody sun!
• When Deke first goes on a rant about how nobody at S.H.I.E.L.D. likes him, he mentions that his girlfriend was a sociopath. Jemma tries to say that Snowflake wasn't good for Deke, who then clarifies that he was talking about Sequoia.
• After Mack and Elena assure Flint that the present is much better than the future he came from, Flint declares his intent to reverse one of the most horrific features of the Lighthouse: eat a taco. Mack then promises to take Flint to a drive through... Flint then asks what a drive through is.
• Mack and Daisy get into an argument (Mack is angry Daisy brought Sarge along, Daisy is mad Mack evacuated Flint, who may be artificial). Elena asks if this is the best time to have this argument, not just because Izel is about to open a portal to the Fear Dimension... but because the Shrike have overrun the Zephyr One and are trying to break down the door to the conference room the three have taken refuge in at that very moment.

New Life

• When the Chronicoms have seemingly taken over the S.H.I.E.L.D. base, Isaiah enters and FitzSimmons prepare themselves to pull a Heroic Sacrifice with the grenades. Then "Isaiah" reveals who he really is by shooting the other two Chronicoms, and drops what may be one of the best lines in the entire series in Enoch's voice:
  Enoch: (In Isaiah's body) I find that "bluffing" is easier if you kill someone and take their skin.
• As Enoch explains that he has a plan to stop the Hunters, he says that it will require FitzSimmons doing the hardest thing they will ever do. What is the response of our heroic couple? One of annoyance.
  (talking over each other)
  Fitz: (bored) Yeah, yeah.
  Jemma: (annoyed) Oh, that again.