Funny / A Slap On Titan

In General

• Some of the character portrayals in general are pretty hilarious.
  • Armin becomes a misanthropic Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant who nonetheless acts in a dissonantly cheerful manner. He also Screams Like a Little Girl.
  • Hannes becomes an alcoholic redneck. He also keeps trying to invoke Luke, I Might Be Your Father towards Eren, which the latter does not take kindly to as he becomes a walking Berserk Button to him.
  • Shadis - er, Sarge. Compared to Team Four Star's take which makes him sound like an exaggerated version of Patrick Warburton, this version of Sarge goes full R. Lee Ermey and is just as hilarious.
  • Jean, much like Team Four Star's take, sounds like a conceited and arrogant blueblood. Which makes his inevitable breakdowns when life doesn't go this way all the more hilarious.
  • Connie is portrayed as a talkative and irascible Latino.
  • Reiner's portrayal as a Dumb Jock. With particular emphasis on the Dumb part.
  • Bertholdt gets Demoted to Extra hard. To the point that Marco's face gets photoshopped over him in Episode 4 when Sarge goes over the recruits.
• A lot of the stuff said in the various Eyecatches.
  • Episode 1
    • "The walls that protect humanity are symbolized by three beautiful goddesses - Sina, Rose, and the one nobody likes, Maria. Seriously. She's a bitch."
  • Episode 2
    • "Only the rich can afford to live near the raised center. In the empire, altitude is an accurate measure of douchebaggery."
  • Episode 3
    • "Proficient operators of the 3D Manuever [sic] Gear learn to piss themselves rather than spend several hours trying to undo all these straps"
    • "Adderall and other stimulants are great for learning how to operate 3D Manuever Gear"
  • Episode 4's eyecatches lists the top ten trainees of the 104 and puts Sarge's notes over them.
    10. Krista: Lesbo-Witch Bitch
    9. Sasha: Sniffs markers^note I have never hated a woman more than I hate her
    8. Connie: Masturbates furiously^note Doesn't stop talking
    7. Marco: Definitely a Queer
    6. Jean: Horse-Faced Lube Enthusiast^note Speaks to his clothes...what the fuck
    5. Eren: Still wets the bed^note I secretly hope that he dies
    4. Annie: Snaggle-toothed McSourPuss
    3. Bertholt: Tall Twiggy Grasshopper
    2. Reiner: Retard 2 Strength^note I once saw him eat a rock at lunchtime. A fucking rock
    1. Mikasa: Asian War Goddess^note Sweet Baby Jesus call me when she's legal
  • Episode 5
    • "In a pinch, anal beads can be used as a replacement for shrapnel"
  • Episode 6
    • "Caution is advised when handling 3DMG swords. The blade slips off for, literally, no reason."
    • "The steel used by the military is forged in the iron pits of Mordor"
  • Episode 7
    • "The central unit is powered by a potent mix of urine and hope"
    • "Getting eaten by Titans is more fun when you're high"
  • Episode 8
    • "No matter how desperate you get, sticking your dick in moving gears is never worth it"
  • Episode 9 contrasts excited soldiers heading off to battle with weary soldiers returning from battle.
    • Before: "We're gonna WRECK these Titans!" "Hell yeah bro!" "We're fuckin' BADASSES" "YOLO!"
    • After: "YEAH FUCK THAT" "Why God why" "Leave Fred to die, we're not going back there" "So much pain..." "MY ANUS IS BLEEDING" "NOPE"
  • Episode 10
    • "These massive grain silos are useful for storing all the food the empire doesn't have."
    • "Unprotected sex is like reaching into a mystery box where the very worst prize is the miracle of life."
  • Episode 11
    • "Using your 3DMG to perform acrobatic sex acts with your fellow cadets is highly discouraged"
    • "Don't put the cylinder through your ass"
  • Episode 12
    • "Style isn't rewarded when escaping certain death. Don't be this asshole and break your foot off because you wanted to look cool."
    • "Sarge once cut the training ropes in the middle of an exercise, resulting in the gruesome deaths of four cadets. On that day, Sarge smiled for the first time in years."
    • A small caption above Sarge quotes him as saying, "I hope a dinosaur fucks you in the ass".
  • Episode 13
    • "The Colossal Titan used to throw wicked raves before he switched to full-time murder"
    • "Who grabbed my ass?" "I did" "I'M TRIPPING BALLS BRO"
    • "Fruit Gushers: Squeeze 'em til the fun pops out!"
    • "fuck everything" "I'll attempt to remember you!"
  • Episode 14
    • "The nicer the courtroom, the more likely it is you have majorly fucked up."^note Seriously, this room has a Michelangelo fresco on the god damn ceiling.
    • "The scales of justice can be swayed by your innocence or your bank account." "fuck yeah for gavels" "If a man strikes out the eye of another man, he shall be fed to Titans."
  • Episode 15
    • "The Wall Cult has gained much popularity in recent years, mainly due to their wicked death metal concerts." "BITCHES BOW YO HEADS AND PRAISE THESE WALLS"
    • "The strangest ritual practiced by the Wall Cult is the one where they re-enact the Human Centipede" "The chain of asses to mouthes symbolizes the unbroken unity of these WALLS" "Being first means the Walls love me more" "Oh God. I had beans last night" "Why did I have to get the horse?"
  • Episode 16
    • "Nobody is a special flower inside the Walls. You pick one of three jobs, or shovel coal for the rest of your life. Life is a bitch in the Empire."
  • Episode 17
    • "Operation Space Rainbow: The idea for the Long-Distance Scouting Formation came after a particularly bitchin' game of tetris."

Episode 1

• When Mikasa gets annoyed at Eren for sleeping when he was supposed to be collecting firewood, he claims that he wasn't sleeping and that he passed out from insulin shock.
• Mikasa throwing Eren into a wall, twice. As well as his subsequent rant.
  Eren: Jeez! Holy FUCK, Mikasa! I think you just permanently altered my spine! You should become, like, a chiropractor for hunchbacks! You could probably reset a Titan's vertebrae alone! You could probably commit seppuku with an acupuncture needle! I really don't know how to handle this! I've been crippled by your mutant strength, and my personal issues with having a fake sister adding me to the disability registry!
  • Also, her response.
  Mikasa: And I'm crippled by the fact that you still won't accept me as your sister. And lover.
  Eren: What did you say?
  Mikasa: Nothing! I am the night!

Episode 2

• As the civilians are evacuating Shinganshina, two soldiers engage in game of Tempting Fate.
  Guard #1: Look man, you really need to start thinking positive.
  Guard #2: There is a titan bearing down on us. What is there to smile about?
  Guard #1: We have three cannons against one titan, there's no way we can miss.
  (The cannonballs miss the titan)
  Guard #2: Great! Got anymore positive vibes, douchebag?
  Guard #1: Well at least the gates aren't closing behind us.
  (The gates begin to close behind them)
  Guard #2: Any MORE positive vibes, asshole?
  Guard #1: Your glass half empty. Look at this glass half full. At least they're not armored.
  (The Armored Titan shows up)
  Guard #2: You Have Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me!
  Guard #1: Ok this is some bullshit
  Guard #2: Hey Harold! That glass you were talking about, I'm pretty sure it just got smashed, trampled, and (Suddenly Shouting) GROUND INTO OUR FUCKING EYEBALLS!
  (The Armored Titan breaks through the gate)

Episode 3

• Sasha thinks that the magical stork decides when people get babies. Then she offers part of her potato to Sarge if he tells her where babies really come from.
  • Sarge hates Sasha's name because it "sounds like a whore's name"^note For those who don't get the joke, there is a pornstar named Sasha Grey and so renames her to Pyle.
  • When she finishes running and collapses, she roars as she leaps at the bread that Krista was going to give her. When Krista offers her water, Sasha begs Krista to make love to her. Krista quickly takes her up on the offer, excited at the prospect of having her first slave. Then it turns out that it was all a ploy to get Sasha to become one of her group of love slaves, and she drugged the bread.
  Krista: Well, looks like we can drop the act now.
  Ymir: Thank God. I thought those roofies would never kick in.
  Krista: But they did. And now, another joins the coven.
• Eren finally gets the straps right and not only rubs it in Mikasa's face, but states that no one will ever find out that his mom was a whore. Unfortunately, despite seeming to be an Internal Monologue, it turns out Eren had blurted out that statement in front of everyone. Yank the Dog's Chain indeed.
  Eren: Yes! Yes! Fuck yes! Look at that Mikasa! Look! Fuck you and your fat stupid face! You bitch! Now nobody will know my mom was a whore!
  (The crowd bursts out into a string of gasps and whats, with one person - possibly Marco - saying "Eren's mama was a whore?")
  Eren: SHIT!

Episode 4

• Episode 4 begins with Sarge giving his opinions on each of the trainees.
  • Jean:
  "Jean... is a smarmy douchebag whose voice exudes a cock-teasery of the highest offense. Has an obsession with lubicating his gear, probably born out of some situation involving sexual impotence and a nursing home. He also has delusions of running the government, but couldn't run a sweatshop if he had thirty Filipinos and a metric fuck-ton of Adderall."
  • Marco:
  "If Jean was bad, well then here's Marco. The two go hand in hand like sobbing kids and alcohol abuse. This particular ass-clown has delusions of being God Himself. Fancies himself a leader and resolves conflict with cornbread patty cake bullshit that makes me pop a rage boner simply out of spite. Sometimes, I beat him just to listen to him cry. Where's your God now, you freckled fuck? Where's your God now?"
  • Annie:
  "A quiet, stupid bitch."
  • Sasha:
  "A bumble-fucking, potato-loving, feral dipshit that can't follow a single order. Talks to trees. I've tried multiple times to kill her by leaving her miles away in the woods, but the wolves keep dragging her broken and starved body back to camp, almost as if they don't want her."
  • Connie:
  "An angry, mean, pissed off, little chihuahua. Watching him maneuver around corners is like watching a foul, determined little rat running through a maze. Seriously! Just look at him! The mere sight of him is enough to piss me off!"
  • Eren:
  "A complete and total fuck-up but unique in his own personal brand of failure. If his sister to egg him on, he'd be useless. As it stands, he's a hair above useless."
  • Mikasa:
  "A tactical genius unlike any other our empire has ever seen. In all my years, I have dreamt of having a star pupil like her; someone who can lead, obey, and destroy with unparalleled superiority. She is truly mankind's hero, a savior even. But she's a woman. Bad form!"
  • Reiner:
  "A retarded, mongoloid fuck-up of epic proportions. I'm 95% sure he is actually a cross between a gorilla and pure, concentrated ignorance."
  • Armin:
  "And last, but not least, Armin. This child is the ultimate culmination of human sin. He is the most terrifying creature I have ever met. Seriously, this kid is fucked! Something is horribly, horribly wrong with him. How someone could've loved something so twisted, so foul, so utterly fucked up beyond repair is beyond me. On the plus side, he is intelligent. But seriously, fuck that kid."
• Annie's Freudian Excuse.
  Annie: As a baby, I was abandoned in the forest and left to die. I was raised by woodland critters to the age of six, when a Drunken Master found me and raised me as his daughter. He taught me how to fight and kill until one night...
  Sensei: And now comes that last part of your training, in which I abandon you so you can become a bitter hateful woman! Just like my master did to me!
  Young Annie:' But sensei! You promised never to leave me!
  Sensei: YES! SO YOU COULD BECOME MORE HATEFUL THEN I EVER WAS!
  Young Annie: NO! NOOOOOOOO!!!
  Sensei: Go Go Gadget Daddy Issues!
  Annie: And then he left...and now I kick men in the balls.
  (Beat)
  Eren: Ok, that's really fucked up, but what I meant to ask was how do you do all that and still look bored?
• The trainees' reactions to their placement.
  Jean: I rank behind Eren!
  Eren: I rank behind Mikasa!
  Armin: (Cheerfully) I rank behind everyone!
• Franz and Hannah are portrayed as New-Age Retro Hippies who think they can beat the titans with the Power of Love.
• The episode ends with Eren having an Internal Monologue about how he is the protector of the city and that nothing can take it from him. Then the Colossal Titan shows up, scatting.

Episode 5

• As the civilians prepare to evacuate Trost, a man can be heard claiming that he's pregnant, while another compares the bottleneck to the line at Euro Disney.
  • The last one is a case of Fridge Brilliance as Euro Disney had an abysmal opening attendance and even to this day is one of the least visited Disney parks, and this crowd is anything but small.
• Vermin's briefing to the 104th.
  Vermin: In this military we fight using a vague understanding of physics and thigh bondage. I expect you to uphold these principles when you face the titans. News flash! EVERYONE IS DEAD! So we're sending YOU! (The 104th gasps)Don't forget, the Armored Titan showed up last time and murdered everybody even more dead! He's due to arrive any minute now! And lastly, anyone who runs away will be KILLED on the spot! Uphold the King's strength, and most important - when you're out there, don't forget...to have fun.
  (Beat, followed the 104th proceeding to break out in panic)
• "I have a grudge against Titans, and you've got a stick so far up your ass, you might as well be a popsicle!"
• Armin watches his friends get eaten by titans, only for "Careless Whisper" to start playing as he becomes enamored by the sight.
• The arrival of the bearded/Santa/Charles Darwin/Karl Marx titan. And Armin's Dull Surprise reaction.
  Armin: Oh no, old people.

Episode 6

• We cut to a group of civilians whose evacuation is being blocked by a merchant's cargo. The merchant is an "angry capitalist", and the civilians are socialist revolutionaries. A little girl gets reassured by her mother that "Lenin was still right" and that everything will be fine. To which she asks her mother, "Mommy, what did Lenin say about that?" as she points behind her. Cue the arrival of the infamous "floppy-armed"/"Titan-san is late to school" titan. Only this time around the titan's mad dash is set to "Chacarron Macarron" making it even more Narmier and hilarious than before.
  • The subs, and the soldiers who chase after it, refer to it as a "[Retarded Titan]".
• In spite of Tomandre saying how hard it was to make the flashback to Mikasa's backstory funny and admitting that it was fucked up, he manages to succeed in doing just that. Albeit with a lot of Black Comedy and Crosses the Line Twice humor.
  • Why exactly were Eren and Grisha at Mikasa's house? Because Grisha needed money and so he let Carla host a "business meeting" in their bedroom.
  • Mikasa's father's death. Made all the more funnier by the first kidnapper's voice.
    Kidnapper #1: Ding Dong!
    Mikasa's Father: Hey guys-
    Kidnapper #1: Surprise, knife!
    Kidnapper #2: Unnecessary murder is fun!
  • As the kidnappers hang out in Mikasa's house, they get confused as to what world they are in. And by that, one of them thinks Asians are a rarity to which his friend says that there are billions of Asians online. And it only gets more convoluted from there.
  • And in a moment of Laser-Guided Karma, Eren murdering the kidnappers.
    (Eren knocks on the door)
    Kidnapper #2: Oh hey, pizza's here.
    (Eren stabs the first kidnapper)
    Kidnapper #1: Holy shit! Okay that's it, you bastard! No tips for you!
    (Eren stabs the second kidnapper)
    Kidnapper #1: (Screams)
    Eren: Surprise, spear!
    Kidnapper #1: Ow! Foiled by my own tactics!
    Eren: Die, you bastard die!
    Kidnapper #1: Prepubescent Rambo!
    Eren: Fat people are the worst scum in the world! Die!
  • Ascot Man's entire rant is utter Black Comedy and Crosses the Line Twice gold. It even got its own separate video.
    Ascot Man: What the FUCK!? Fuck you, Eren! I'm going to eat your soul! I'm gonna annihilate you, kid! You see this fucking ascot I'm wearing!? This is my child-beating ascot! I got it for beating 50 kids in a row. That's right, Eren! You're fucked! I LOVE beating children and looking GOOD in this ascot! WOOOOOO! I'm fucking wild right now! Overpowering kids fills my self-esteem! Eren, you ever ridden a horse? Aren't those things fucking weird? Have you ever seen one of their dicks? I remember the first time I saw one! I've felt like less of a man and for years I've suffered from gender identity issues until I beat the shit out of my first child! Yeah! I love children's tears! "The Sun will come out tomorrow!" Just not for your bitch ass, I'm choking your lights out! Get fucked! Man, Eren you gettin' yo ass WHOOPED! Man I wish I had someone around when I was a kid to beat the shit outta me like man you lucky bitch! Even when I was a kid I knew I need to get my ass beat, but no one would ever hit me! Do you know how traumatic that shit is!?! I had the worst childhood ever! All I wanted for my dad to really just whip my ass! Just one good slap on the butt cheek! But nobody ever did! Now you kids have it so easy nowadays! Now I'm gonna beat the shit outta you HARDER NOW, you fucking bit-
  • After Grisha invites Mikasa to live with the Yeager family, Eren expresses joy at getting to have a sister, and tells her about his favourite game, "Let's Save Armin!"
    Eren: It involves my best friend, and it always ends with us getting our asses beat!

Episode 7

• After all hope is lost and the Titans have invaded the armory, Jean is distraught. Connie decides to follows Armin's lead and get high on his 3D Maneuver Gear's gas supply, leading to everyone else getting hopped up on gas and laughing at Jean in a Hurricane of Horse Puns and high-pitched helium voices.
  Connie: (High pitched) Hey Jean, you should try this! (High pitched laughing) I sound like a fairy!
  Jean: No Connie, you stupid bean burrito!
  Connie: (High pitched laughing) Hey guys! My name's Jean, and I'm a horse fucker!
  Jean: I'm not-
  Connie: (High pitched laughing) Hey Jean, pull my finger!
  Jean: I'm not fucking-
  Connie: I'll give you a sugar cube! (High pitched laughing)
  ([The other cadets engaging in] inhaling and high pitched laughing)
  Jean: That's not funny!
  Soldier #1: (High pitched laughing) Jean gives the best rides!
  Jean: Guys, we are literally seconds away from dying! (So am I Jean...so am I.)
  Soldier #2: So would you say we need to cut down on the horseplay?
  Soldier #3: Quit horsing around!
  Connie: Faster Pegasus, faster!
  Soldier #1: (Inaudible)
  (High pitched horse sounds, followed by more high pitched laughing)
  Connie: Jean! Jean! Hey! What's your perfect nickname?
  Jean: You're all just fucking arou-
  Connie: (High pitched giggling; That fucking face...I literally can't anymore.)
  Jean: (Sighs) What is-
  Connie: WARHORSE!
• Reiner asks Annie to give him a handjob because they're about to die soon, which she only agrees to because she's curious. He doesn't get to enjoy it for long as Mikasa arrives to ruin the moment.
• Mikasa's awesome and hilarious rant at the rest of the cadets about their racism, as well as their racist questions and accusing her of racism when she calls them out on their BS.
  • The questions they ask her about her Asian heritage.
  Do you have a sideways Asian pussy?
  • Mikasa can't convince any of the cadets to swallow their fear and head for the armory, so she gives them a Motivational Lie and says that the first one to reach the training hall gets to sleep with her. Then Jean gives a Rousing Speech inspiring the cadets with the promise of hot sex with Mikasa.
• The Rogue Titan proceeds to punch another titan's head off. As the head hits a tower, an announcer can be heard yelling "TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!"
• The entire ending argument of Episode 7. So much so that they saw fit to put up a separate video for it, appropriately titled "Connie's Angry Rooftop".
  Connie: (High pitched) Oh look at me! My name's Mikasa! And I can't control my raging ovaries!

Episode 8

• After Jean's more genuine Rousing Speech in Episode 8, he has this Internal Monologue.
  Jean: Happy Tom's demise gave us the chance to escape. May the Walls bless you, you unnaturally jovial fuck.
• When the armory is set upon by two very...er, flat-looking Titans, their speech is dubbed not in stereotypical ghetto AAVE, but extremely stereotypical rural redneck Southern drawls. They gush over how tiny and cute Jean is, before being punched and sent flying by the Rogue Titan. It's hilarious.
  "Cletus": Awww, look at him, so tiny!
  "Bertha": I just want to take him back to the trailer park and eat him up!
  "Cletus": Who's the cute little baby? Who's the cute little-(they both get punched to the curb by the Rogue Titan)
  "Bertha": Awwe, shit, Cletus! He just dropped the shit outta us like a barnyard bust up, are you gonna take that?!
  "Cletus": Hell naw, Bertha, you step back, let a real man han'le this, we'z bout ta rassle!"
• When Mikasa, Armin, and Connie arrive at the armory, Connie lets Jean and everyone else know that Mikasa wants to fuck the Rogue Titan.
  Connie: Jean! Jean! I got bad news for ya buddy! Mikasa doesn't want to fuck you. She wants to fuck the titan!
  Female Background Character: Mikasa wants to bang a titan? How is that possible?
  Male Background Character: Can we fashion an emergency strap-on?
• After the cadets clear out the armory and refill their gas (and getting high from it), Mikasa and Armin witness the Rogue Titan being dogpiled by the other titans. Armin's reaction?
  Armin: Oh no Mikasa, your boyfriend is getting eaten out...and it looks like he's enjoying it.
• After the Rogue Titan collapses, Jean tries to reminds Mikasa about how she promised to sleep with him, Unfortunately for him, the Rogue Titan has one more surprise for the assembled cadets, much to his chagrin.
  Jean: Well, that's my cue. Mikasa, if you ever need to cry in a real man's arms, I'll be safely back in the barracks, adjusting Suit-vest to receive your ample bosom. (Beat) Huh? Okay, seriously he's dead. Get over it, and get into my arms. It's a great idea. (Notices something emerging from the Rogue Titan's nape) Wait, what the fuck? What the fuck is that? (Eren emerges from the Rogue Titan) Oh fuck my entire life and soul.
• Reiner's Captain Obvious remark when he puts two and two together about how Mikasa had been unknowingly crushing on her adoptive brother the entire time.
  Reiner: Woah, so like this entire time Mikasa actually wanted to fuck her brother?
  Mikasa: Shut up, Reiner.
• Jean closes off the episode by bemoaning how nothing has gone his way.
  Jean: Eren's not dead, I never slept with Mikasa, and we're all going to live. Worst. Day. Ever.

Episode 9

• Hanji's Casual Danger Dialogue when fighting a Titan, in which she asks one of them about the impeccable trimming of his facial hair, then kills him while noting his moustache's vague resemblance to Adolf Hitler's.
• Titan form Eren's Punctuated Pounding of a hapless titan. Only rather than yelling "You're all going to die!", he's instead yelling the much more puerile "Eat a dick!"
• Connie trying to convince Krista and Ymir to let him join their girls-only orgy, but there's a height requirement. Connie questions this, since Krista is shorter than him, put she gets a pass because she's the one planning the orgy.
  Connie: So you're the Orgy Master?
  Krista: I prefer the term, "Professional Orgy Consultant".
• Commander Vermin's main reason for wanting to kill Eren, Mikasa, and Armin amounts to hating how much Eren's control of his titan form resembles piloting a Humongous Mecha in an anime, and he detests mecha anime. Then Eren argues with him about how Neon Genesis Evangelion is a classic, and after Rico suggests that Eren is part of the Shipping community, she has to remind Vermin that their higher-ups won't be too pleased to know that he had three cadets executed based purely on his hatred of anime.
• Before Vermin can order their execution, he's interrupted by his subordinate, Timmy, who not only talks in a Mickey Mouse-esque falsetto, but also has a rather...nonsensical reason for interrupting.
  Timmy: Sir! But what if he's a potato?
  Vermin: He's not a potato.
  Timmy: How will we know?
  Vermin: He's not a potato Timmy, trust me.
  Eren: What's the verdict? Is he gonna kill us?
  Timmy: But I'm intolerant to starch, it makes my stomach rumbly, and that puts us at a tactical disadvantage.
  Vermin: Oh for fucks- (Suddenly Shouting) Eren Yeager, are you a potato?
  Eren: What?
  Vermin: I will ask you one more time: Are you a potato?
  Eren: No! I-I'm not a potato!
  Vermin: Satisfied?
  Timmy: (Beat) What about the soy derivatives?
  Vermin: Oh God damn it!

Episode 10

• The episode begins with a morbid Monty Python Shout-Out.
  Driver: Bring out ya' dead! Bring out ya' dead!
• Marco trying to stop "Clumsyfoot Carl" from committing seppuku when the latter is in agony over Krista and Ymir throwing a girls-only survival orgy that he wasn't invited to. When Marco asks Sasha to debunk this, her answer is glorious.
  Sasha: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! They invited me for oyster diving, but instead of seafood, everyone just started fucking! Aah! Where's the FOOD?!
• Upon seeing Eren's malformed titan as the smoke clears, the soldiers under Vermin's command mistake it for Cthulhu and somehow come to the conclusion that they have to descend into an orgy of sex and violence in order to survive. This apparently involves sacrificing a goat.
• After Eren's titan collapses, Vermin orders his soldiers to stop their orgy and put their clothes back on.
  Male Soldier: Can we stay naked?
  Vermin: NO, GODDAMMIT! PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! And everyone, get off of Timmy!
  Timmy: Who was inside me?
  Vermin: WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PROFESSIONALS. HOLY FUCKING CHRIST!
  Rico: Technically, you gave the order to start fucking.
  Vermin: SHUT UP, NERD! You should be grateful I gave the order to stop, before someone screwed you even more cross-eyed and crooked than you are now. Now stop talking and help these men fasten their trousers. You know how they fumble with the buttons.
• When Eren says he doesn't know how he can turn into a titan, Mikasa has a rather out-of-left-field response.
  Mikasa: OH MY GOD, BUT WHY IS IT SO HOT?!
  Eren: What the hell is she talking about?
  Armin: See...I would tell you, but I like having fingers.
  Mikasa: And toes?
• Vermin's soldiers fail at luring the trio out.
  Rico: The soldiers are dressed sir. No movement spotted inside the smoke.
  Harold: Yeah, we're ready for you now!
  Steve: You thought your little trick was funny? Well, the joke's on you! We only acted like we were falling for it!
  Harold: We totally didn't just have sex with Timmy!
  Steve: Why don't you come out of the smoke and see if we're lying!
  Harold: Just keep walking forward towards the open end of our barrels. It sounds counterintuitive but it's actually a great plan.
• Back to Vermin's soldiers, who still fail at their one job.
  Harold: Come on out kids, We've got candy!
  Steve: I know it looks like we're aiming at you, but we actually packed the cartridges with marshmallows!
  Harold: We even got Huggable Bear and Theodore Tugboat here.
  Steve: Goddammit Harold. They're not that fucking young! They're teens you dumbass.
  Vermin: BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
  Timmy: I didn't know I had that hole!

Episode 11

• After the title card, we cut to some of the soldiers who have assembled in front of the wall, awaiting Pixis's announcement.
  Clumsyfoot Carl: Doomed to die alone and miserable.
  Male Soldier #1: Carl shut the fuck up. They're discussing battle plans.
  Clumsyfoot Carl: I was so close to sneaking into the girls' orgy and...they had to call us in and cancel it.
  Male Soldier #2: Hey! Who said orgies?! If you know where the orgies are, you better tell me you maggot!
  Clumsyfoot Carl: I'm not telling you shit! It's over and done with.
  Male Soldier #2: That's not true! Look at you, I know you're lying.
  Male Soldier #1: Oh thank god, somebody put that Cowardly Lion out of his misery.
  Female Soldier #1: Does your stomach hurt after seeing all our friends die?
  Female Soldier #2: Yeah, it does. That's what I get for eating gluten.
  Male Soldier #3: Hey! You think you know pain? You should see what it's like for us in the Garrison. I had to sacrifice a goat today, and that was after the group sodomy. I'm fucking done man, I'm fucking done! I had to suck a man's toes today. Get me out of here.
  Jean: Group sodomy? Were you part of the crowd that conducted a ritual for Cthulhu?
  Male Soldier #3: How do you know about that?
  Jean: We saw the entire thing from the rooftops. You guys are fucking idiots.
• Pixis gets the assembled soldiers' attention...by letting out what the subs call "The Colossal Burp".
  Pixis: Sorry...drunk.
• The moment Pixis introduces Eren to the assembled soldiers, the camera closes in on Jean's reaction, all while "Psycho" Strings play in the background.
• This exchange after Armin goes over the plan to retake Trost. Talk about one hell of a Mood Whiplash.
  Armin: It's okay. I'm used to devising the plans. I used to practice scenarios like this at night when my homework and rituals were finished.
  Female Soldier: Such a clever little monster. Was strategy always your passion?
  Armin: No. I actually used to have quite a future in fashion design.
  Male Soldier: By the Walls, what changed?
  Armin: (Beat) They told me you couldn't wear people as suits.
• With the plan having been explained, Pixis asks the soldiers if they have any questions. To which Clumsyfoot Carl proceeds to let out a rant.
  Clumsyfoot Carl: WHY AM I A VIRGIN?!? All I want is to live on a tropical island, free of furniture and potted plants and just have beautiful women feed me grapes all day! Why can't I have that? Why must you keep me from my dreams!?
  Male Soldier #3: Fuck this, I'm out! (Him and the two female soldiers he was talking to earlier leave)
  Female Soldier #1: Bye, losers!
  Male Soldier #4: Screw it, I'm getting high and watching Mari.
  Female Soldier #3: Have fun dying!
  Male Soldier #3: I'm joining HYDRA, at least they have dental.
• Just before Pixis finishes off his Rousing Speech, his alcoholism gets the better of him and he proceeds to vomit over all of the soldiers. Immediately after that faux pas?
  Pixis: Sorry...drunk.

Episode 12

• Rico being a Deadpan Snarker during and after Mikasa's attempt to get Eren under control, which leads to him punching himself in the face and knocking himself out like a little bitch.
• Armin and Mikasa yelling at each other when talking about Eren punching himself in the face and trying to figure out how to wake him up. Like "Connie's Angry Rooftop", this also got a separate video.
• "Commander...(INTERNALLY DYING)...I have an erection. Please alert the Whoopiest of Goldbergs about this predicament."

Episode 13

• We get introduced to some titans...who are being portrayed as drug addicts, courtesy of Fun with Subtitles.
  Druggie Titan #1: Oh shit! We found a jackpot!
  Druggie Titan #2: This city is the shit!
  (Rico and another Garrison soldier witness a soldier being eaten by a titan who, thanks to his Gag Nose, looks like he's sniffing his victim)
  Garrison Girl #1: Oh no, he's sticking Joseph up his nose!
  Druggie Titan #3: Hey yo, take a head of this motherfucker! He smell like sherbet!
  Rico: God damn it, let them know! We are not drugs!
• Connie tries to pull a Big Damn Heroes moment and rescue Jean from a titan, only to swing right into the side of the Titan's head and hurt his leg. Then he and Jean get into a screaming match over his Epic Fail, with Connie ranting in Spanish the whole time.
  Connie: YIPPIE KAY YAY MUCHACHO! (Hits the side of titan's head and hurts his leg) Argh! Son of a bitch! Fuck! Agh! (Lands on a nearby rooftop)
  Jean: Connie! You stupid fuck!
  Connie: (In Spanish) No no no no! Fuck off! Fuck off! I'm not going over there! You don't see the size of that bastard! I'm not going there! Nonononono!
  Jean: You had a clear shot of the neck!
  Connie: Are you crazy? For a moment, I want to go there but no, fuck off! Mom told me not to come in here and I'm still here, because of you!
  Jean: No! You have TWO swords! You could have used your fucking swords!
  Connie: (English) I just wet myself because of you! I'm supposed to strip tonight!
  Jean: How the fuck do you think I feel?
  Connie: (Spanish) Connie never give up on your dreeeeeeams! AIEEEEEE!!!!!
  Jean: Fuck this! Fuck today! Fuck that corpse! Fuck this shit! And most importantly! FUUUUUCK YOUUUUU ERRREEEENN!
  (Connie and Jean make it to the top of the Wall)
  Jean: By the Walls! We've made it!
  Connie: (English) You are buying me new pants the second this shit is over!
• Armin compares trying to pull Eren out of his titan form to "one of his hentai nightmares".
• As the titans are being cleared out from Trost, they start singing "Closing Time".
• Our introduction to Sawney and Bean, who as it turns out are rather enjoying their state of bondage.
  "Sawney": Oh yeah! This some bondage sex slave shit right here!
  "Bean": Man I ain't even into that shit, fuck is wrong with you dog?
  "Sawney": Wait till someone tickles your ass with a feather, SHIT FEELS GREAT!
• After the battle in Trost, some cadets find a crystalized ball of Titan vomit. While everyone else is Squicking out, Sasha is asking if she can eat it.
• When Eren meets Erwin and Levi for the first time, Levi reacts to his The Knights Who Say "Squee!" moment by talking, in disturbingly explicit detail, about Eren masturbating onto posters of Levi and Erwin in his bedroom.
• The constant Shout-Outs and references that Levi makes while drunk during his first meeting with Eren, as he proclaims himself to be "The King of References", all while Eren and Erwin listen in confusion and exasperation.
  • He has a moment of It's All About Me when he complains about everyone ignoring his awesomeness to focus on Eren being able to turn into a Titan, calling Eren "Babydick" and "Justin Bieber" while doing so.
  Eren: Who's Justin Bieber?
  Erwin: A pop singer.
  Levi: A fucking asshole!
  Erwin: By the Walls, Levi! Compose yourself!
  Levi: No, Erwin, because unlike Puss 'n Boots over here, I actually kick ass just fine on my own.

Episode 14

• As Eren lays in his cell, he wonders if the people know who he is. They do, and the discourses in both Walls Sina and Rose, however contrasting they may be, end on a rather hilarious note.
  • Wall Sina:
    Apparently a common boy has transformed into a titan!
    That is ENTIRELY the cat's meow.
    Indubitably! The mud-dwellers in Wall Rose are calling him a "savior".
    Ha, plebs!
    That's just the bees's knees!
    Holy shit, Sirius Black's on the loose!
  • Wall Rose:
    One of our own has taken back Trost!
    Victory for the working class!
    I'd be a lot more impressed if he can transform into a piece of bread.
    Eren is a savior!
    Can we crucify him for our sins or do we have to wait 'till after supper?
• The trial. By the Walls, the trial.
  • Prior to the trial, Hanji Motor Mouths off to Eren about how she will be his legal advisor, stating that she knows what to expect despite being a scientist and not a lawyer because she spent all night marathoning Judge Judy and Night Court. She also tells him to confuse the prosecution by throwing around Latin legal terms and to not say something like, "I am a robot; I must kill humans" while the court is trying to prove he's a Titan.
  • The court's reaction to learning who Eren is the son of, which causes them to burst out into an uproar of raucous laughter. All the while, Eren can only let loose a string of Rapid-Fire "No!"s in response to each statement as he can no longer deny the truth.
    Niles: That woman redefined what it means to be a whore.
    Civilian #1: STDs were like Pokémon for her; she had to catch 'em all!
    Civilian #2: She went through entire villages in a day, kid!
    Civilian #3: Sex with your mom made me want to become a better man!
  • Everything that Pastor Nick says, starting off with his recounting his pimping days while talking about Eren's heritage.
    Pastor Nick: Wait! Wait one motherfucking second, that boy Carla Yeager's baby?
    Niles: Yes!
    Pastor Nick: Oh my GOD! That was the FINEST hoe this empire ever seen! Back in my pimpin' days, before I found the Walls, we all wanted to get a piece of that Carla! She could suck a dick like it was SCRIPTURE!
    Zackley: It was beautiful.
    Pastor Nick: I remember the day we all heard she was getting married to that doctor boy - Gribba or some shit - we were sorry for years!
    Eren: Enough!
    Pastor Nick: It was a choice with HOE regrets!
    Eren: Objection!
    Pastor Nick: Praise the Walls!
    Crowd: PRAISE THE WALLS! (The crowd bursts into an uproar)
  • After Niles and Erwin give their statements, Zackley asks Pixis for his own statement. However, just as he had warned Erwin earlier, Pixis isn't sober enough to deliver his statement.
    Pixis: I don't remember a thing. I was drunk the entire time.
  • Zackley reading Rico's testimony.
    Zackley: Reading the testimony of Rico Brzenska, she states that during the Trost campaign, you went, and I quote, “flat-out apeshit, attacking his sister and punching several buildings before knocking himself out like a little bitch.” End quote.
    (Eren looks at Rico dumbfounded)
    Mikasa: What the fuck, Rico?!
    Rico: Oh, go screw your brother.
  • Niles accusing Mikasa of not being able to "control her raging ovaries". Specifically, he brings up the fact that she has expressed a desire to have sex with Eren's Titan form, which gives them reason to believe that Mikasa is romantically linked with Eren, thus making her testimony too biased to be admissible. After Zackley asks Mikasa if she is in love with Eren, a tense silence settles over the courtroom...which is immediately broken by Pastor Nick being his usual hammy self.
    Pastor Nick: Ahahahaha! Aahahahaha! Eren and Mikasa sitting in a tree! F-U-C-K-I-N-G!^note Hilarious in Hindsight when considers what happens in the manga's Audience-Alienating Ending
    Eren: No! That's not how it is!
    Pastor Nick: Ahahahaha! Mikasa love you long time! Ah, getitit'sfunny'causeyouAsian,bitch! Ahahaha! Chingitty-chang-chong in a chocolate factory!
    Eren: Can we PLEASE get him out of the courtroom?
    Zackley: I'm sorry. This is far too entertaining.
    Pastor Nick: Hey, hey, hey, Eren, Eren, Eren! Do your sister need any money?
    Eren: No!
    Pastor Nick: I bet she does! MIKASA NEED MON-AAAAAAY!!!
  • After Eren's rant, Levi gives him a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown. However, it's portrayed as a gang initiation and so everyone in the court is goading Levi and insulting Eren. And it is utterly hilarious.
    Pastor Nick: Yeah! Yeah! Whoop his ass! Whoop his ass! Gotta beat the bitch to teach the bitch!
    (Mikasa attempts to intervene only to be restrained by Armin)
    Armin: No! The pain will help him grow!
    Rico: Work him out! Work him out!
    Pastor Nick: Run his wallet!
    Zackley: Cunt! Piece of shit! Honkey!
    Civilian #1: Yeah, kick his ass!
    Civilian #2: Bite his balls!
    Pastor Nick: Glory, Hallelujah!
    Zackley: Cracker bitch motherfucker! Frostback! Obama lover!
  • To rub salt on the whole beatdown, Eren briefly has a vision of Ascot Man taunting him about it from Hell.
    Ascot Man: WOOOOO! Eren you gettin' yo ass WHOOPED! Even from Hell I can see a beating like this! God DAMN!
  • The beating comes to a close with with the crowd repeatedly shouting "Yes!" to the beat of Levi's Punctuated Pounding, on top of Pastor Nick dancing.

Episode 15

• Our introduction to Oluo, who's portrayed as hammy Grumpy Old Man. The subs take the opportunity to poke fun at his name's Inconsistent Spelling.
  Oluo/Oruo/Whatever the fuck his name is: Well, I never thought I'd see the day I'd have to babysit a baby back bitch like YOU, but here I am. God, it's a travesty. This is a disaster, this is a Titanic. Fuck this!
  (Eren turns around to look at Levi before Oluo turns to talk to him)
  Oluo: You chicken shit sandwich! Back in my day we didn't have horses! We had billy goats! And you couldn't ride them!
  (Oluo's horse trips on a rock, causing him to bite his hand as death metal plays in the background.)
• The already memetic "Cleaning Levi" scene gets given a much more sexual spin. Made even funnier once Eren shows up.
  Levi: Oh yeah. You're a dirty windowsill, aren't you? I'm gonna clean you something alright.
  Eren: Uh, sir? I finished the upstairs as requested.
  Sir Midget: What?! (Music stops)
  Eren: Uh?
  Levi: What?
  Eren and Levi: What?
  Eren: (Beat) What are you doing?
  Levi: I was just enjoying my fucking awesome handiwork, but then an annoying little brat had to show up and ruin it all! And tracked dirt on the freshly mopped floor.
• The scene then shifts as Levi changes the subject to that of the deadliest creators known to man...germs.
  Titans McGee: Sorry...Hey, why are you wearing a diaper on your head?
  Levi: Rule Number One: Don't ever question me. Rule Number Two: Shut up. Rule Number Three: Where's your sanitary headscarf?
  Eren: Sir?
  Levi: Do you have any idea what the deadliest creatures known to man are?
  Eren: Titans!
  Levi: No! Germs, dumbass. They're everywhere. In the dust...in your own hair...(Tense music starts) they might even be living inside your own body! (Tense music abruptly stops as the scene goes back to normal) Which is why the squad makes sure to clean every environment it faces. And drink plenty of high-proof liquor.
  Eren: Wow.
  Captain Shorty: What? It's a sanitizer.
  Eren: You really take this seriously, don't you?
  Levi: I take EVERYTHING seriously! I'm Captain Goddamn Levi. I murder titans and scrub the FUCK out of floors. And if you want to be like us, you will too. Alright Babydick, I'm gonna check your work. Finish this room, but don't touch the cabinet! That's where I keep my weed.
• After Levi leaves, Petra arrives to check on Eren. In the ensuing conversation, it quickly becomes apparent that she is the Only Sane Man among the Survey Corps.
  Petra: Surprise hello!
  Eren: Ahh!
  Petra: Poor thing! You must be pretty overwhelmed. We're a pretty crazy group of people.
  Eren: Huh? Yeah...it's almost as if you're required to be insane to join the Survey Corps!
  Petra: Well, when you consider that we strap ourselves to massive gas canisters that rocket our body through the air while dual wielding swords so that we can slice the neck of giant monsters, then yeah, it kinda is.
  Eren: I actually never thought about it like that.
  Petra: But nevermind that! We'll keep you safe while the commander plots our next mission.
  Eren: Commander Erwin. He stood up for me in court. He seems like a great leader.
  Petra: Oh, he is. But you should know...deep inside, Erwin is really, really weird.
• We then get a firsthand glimpse into Erwin's...eccentricities, namely him singing "One Day More". Oh and it turns out, Hange wasn't joking when she said Mike was the Survey Corps's pet dog. He literally only talks in dog noises.
• Eren reveals to Hange that he can hear the titans talk, to which Hange says that she's never heard them speak (barring the incident with Ilse) and asks him what they have been saying. We then cut back to a montage of some of the titans' funniest lines from throughout the series. Hange is left speechless.
  • Fridge funny when you realize Eren has had to contend with hearing what the titans have been saying ever since he got his titan powers. No wonder he's been leaking spinal fluid.
• The "Sorry, that was a strange thing to ask" scene gets given its own spin.
  Erwin: (Grabs Eren's shoulder) Boogily boogily boogily boogily boop, SPACE RAINBOWS!
  (Long, awkward silence between the two of them punctuated by Hange crying)
  Erwin: I'm sorry. That was a weird thing to say.
• Eren closes off the episode with his newfound perception of his childhood heroes.
  Eren: This is the place I chose. These are the heroes I admired. They're all complete fucking lunatics.

Episode 16

• The hilarity begins right at the funeral pyre where the 104th are cremating their dead comrades.
  • Apparently Connie's performance as the midget stripper at Krista's survival orgy was not only so bad that both Ymir and Krista feel the need to give themselves Brain Bleach, but apparently caused so much Collateral Damage that they are no longer allowed to hold orgies. It was so bad that they feel watching their dead comrades burn makes them feel better.
    Connie: My dreams...my dreams.
    Sasha: Sooo, the stripping was that bad, huh?
    Connie: Mama, forgive me.
    Ymir: It wasn't just bad, it was legendary.
    Krista: I think it may have actually qualified as a war crime.
    ([Connie's] Ranting in Spanish)
    Sasha: What happened?
    Krista: Well, it started off promising, but after the act with the donkey, the bystander injuries, and the roof collapse we had to shut everything down. That's it, no more orgies. Connie ruined everything.
    Ymir: I feel like I need to bleach my eyeballs.
    Krista: I feel like I need to bleach my soul.
    Ymir: It was like watching a dead pigeon flutter on the ground.
    (More pathetic Connie tears)
    Krista: I actually feel better watching our friends burn than I did watching him strip.
    (Connie's audible tears)
  • While Connie is sobbing himself out, let's see how Jean has been coping with Marco's death. He loses it so hard that even Ymir and Krista become worried for him.
    Jean: Is this you, Marco? Or is it one of the many others we lost?
    Random Soldier: Jean, stop picking up random bones!
    Jean: From the very beginning you were there, trying to guide us. I've lived a long life of douchebaggery, but perhaps, there was another way to go?
    (Jean has his Marco vision)
    Marco: Look Jean, I'm an angel! Betcha' believe in me now, you dumb motherfucker! WOOHOOHOO, PRAISE THE WALLS!
    Jean: I believe Marco, I BELIEVE!!!!!
    Krista: Wow. Jean's really lost it this time.
    Ymir: Yeah, between his apathy and Connie's emasculation, I think we make up most of the testosterone left in the 104th.
    Krista: Agreed.
    Jean: Guys, hey hey guys, have you decided which division you're joining? Because...I think Marco's telling me I need to change!
    Krista: Jean, you okay buddy? I think you might have inhaled too much smoke.
    Jean: WHAT WOULD MARCO DOOOOOO?!!!
    Krista: For real, we're kinda worried about you.
    Ymir: Kinda.
    Krista: Cause for the last two hours, all you've done is inhale the ashes of our dead comrades and scavenge random bones off the ground like a shrew.
    Jean: I THINK MARCO IS INSIDEEEE MEEEE!
    Ymir: Okay, you want me to grab the flask?
    Krista: Yeah. Double the dosage on this one, I'm not taking any chances.
• Erwin's speech to the cadets is full of hilarious moments.
  • To begin, Erwin begins with some housekeeping to clear up a few misconceptions.
    Erwin: I know many of you have concerns regarding the rumors about hazing in our group. Well, I am proud to announce that THIS is a thing of the past! That's right! We are a no haze zone! No longer shall the new class be forced to hang upside down while being paddled with the blunt end of a sword. Tell your squad leaders "No haze zone" and they'll respect it!
    Petra: His stupid fucking policy.
    Eld: He's so proud of that.
    Petra: Nobody enforces it.
    Erwin: Second, I want to touch on the rumors that the Survey Corps has a problem with drugs. That is absolutely, positively, true.
    (The crowd gasps and whispers)
    Erwin: Which is why I am instituting a mandatory drug test!
    (More gasps and whispers from the crowd, with a more disappointed mood)
    Eld: Well, at least we know.
    Petra: If you stop smoking now, you just might pass.
    Eld: No. I will literally pay you 20% of my salary if I can use your piss.
    Petra: 25.
    Eld: Deal.
  • With housekeeping out of the way, Erwin tells the cadets about what they can expect to see in the Survey Corps. He says that his subordinates have prepared him an inspiring speech for him to read...which's he's not, causing them to go Oh, Crap! as they realize he's going offscript. Instead, Erwin opts to deliver the Brutal Honesty about life in the Survey Corps: That most of them are going to die. All the while the camera cuts to various members of the cast as Erwin says they will die. It is Black Comedy gold.
    Erwin: Here's the truth! Most of you are going to die! (Jean) You're dead, (Reiner) you're dead, (Connie) you are definitely dead, (Mikasa) you're cute so you might live, (Sasha) dead, (Annie) dead, (Krista) dead, (Armin) aaaaaaaand dead! You! In the back, you're probably dead! You, ESPECIALLY you! You, by the Walls, I don't even wanna know what's going to happen to you! One of the most interesting things you'll see in the Survey Corps is the wide variety of ways a human being can die. Who knows how you'll pass! You might be like Meel and get your colon pulled out from your esophagus. You might be like Carol and get ripped apart by three titans at once! Or, you might be like Larry and get trampled by a mule, there are SO many ways to go! What I want you all to take away from this is that you are all titan fodder and you can look forward to pain and suffering upon joining the Survey Corps. (Beat) Literally all we do is die.
  • After all that Brutal Honesty, Erwin attempts to lighten the mood by telling some jokes. Unfortunately, Erwin is a bad comedian and so all of jokes are incredibly lame, cringy, and at times nonsensical. Before he begins, Squad Levi can be heard going Oh, Crap! as they realize what Erwin is about to do.
    I used to have a job crushing cans. It was so depressing (God shut up Erwin)
    (Awkward silence)
    Excuse me, sir! Would like like your milk in a bag? No thank you, it will just LEAK OUT!
    (Crowd murmuring with one soldier going "When's the punch line coming?")
    What's brown, long, and sticky? A stick.
    (Someone - possibly Oluo - yelling "FUCKING KILL MEEE!")
    What does a nosy pepper do? (What?) GETS JALAPENO BUSINESS!!
    (Petra says "He's literally murdering our future!")
    How do you tell a dogwood apart from any other tree? (Random soldier yelling "YOU SUCK!") By its bark!
    ([Another soldier mumbles] Racist.)
    TWO sausages are lying in a frying pan! One looks at another and says "It's getting awfully hot in here", the other says "AHH! A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
    (God that was inspiringly bad)
  • And with that, Erwin's speech is done. However, considering what he had been saying over the past few minutes, the cadets proceed to leave in droves, either because they were scared away by his Brutal Honesty about the mortality rate or because his jokes were so cringy and out-of-touch that they can't stand him. One can only assume how much Facepalming Squad Levi - especially Petra - has doing offscreen considering how offscript Erwin went.
  • Despite most of their comrades leaving, Jean and Connie elect to stay for their own reasons. Jean because he hears the voices of Suit-vest and Marco telling him to join the Survey Corps by guilt-tripping him about leaving Mikasa behind should he leave and join the Military Police, Connie because he hears the voice of his mother and wanting to redeem himself for his strip-performance at Krista's orgy.
• The newly inducted members of the Survey Corps go through orientation, courtesy of Dieter, who talks like a Hoax Hogan.
  Dieter: Welcome to the Survey Corps, brother! These here are the horses you'll be takin' into the field! They're specially bred to be super nice and super responsive to your- (The horse he was attending to proceeds to bite him in the head) Ahhh! Ahh, oh fuck he's biting my head! Oh, get off! ([The horse] breaks through skull) Oh he's sinkin' his teeth right in, he's up to his choppers in my brains! Oh, sweet Jesus, the agony! Ahh, the pain!
• After Squad Levi go over the formation, they discuss among themselves about what they can expect to find in Eren's basement. Considering who Eren's mother was, they all agree that it must have been some sort of sex dungeon.
  Gunther: All we gotta do is avoid titans, get to your house, and find whatever FREAKY shit your parents got in their basement.
  Eren: Okay.
  Gunther: The commander let the press know about our plans. Everybody knows we headin' to your basement. So don't get all butthurt, there's a lot of bets ridin' on what we gonna find down there.
  Eren: Bets?
  Eld: My money's on leather straps.
  Petra: Sex swings!
  Oluo: DIILLDOOOOS!
  Gunther: And my money's on sweet, sweet panties. Ah, alright. That's it for today. Let's roll out!
• Eren reuniting with Mikasa and Armin is a Heartwarming Moment, but then Mikasa tells Eren about what she plans to do to Levi for the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown he gave him earlier.
  Mikasa: I can't believe what the captain did! If I ever get my hands on him, I'm gonna tie him down, strap him to a chair, and force him to listen to one of Armin's fucked up dismemberment lectures.
  Armin: I have pictures now!
  • Made even funnier in that Levi is in earshot of Mikasa the entire time. He takes note of the first two statements Mikasa says, but when she gets to the third he proceeds to leave with the horse in tow.

Episode 17

• Another abno- er, retarded - titan shows up. Like the previous one, its appearance is accompanied by another memetic song. This time around it's "The Seventh Element" by Vitas.

Episode 18

• Sarge's glorious return in Episode 18, in which the Fourth Wall comes crashing down.
• As Eren and Squad Levi escape the Female Titan, this exchange happens:
  Levi: Horseface, you know you can't do better than me, so—
  Petra: Okay that is it!
  Levi: What? It's true.
  Petra: You dinky little fuck! If we survive this mission, when we get back I'm sleeping with Eren!
  Levi: Haha! Yeagerbomb? That swagless beast?
  Petra: Yeah! Him! I'm gonna fuck his brains out!
  Eren: I, uh—
  Levi: No! Eren Yeager, I order you to remain a virgin!

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