Well, they do promise a comedy…
- This exchange from the movie, with the added bonus that it is Sgt. Bilko meeting The Doctor:Lycus: I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
Crassus: Who?
Lycus: The lyingest, cheatingest, sloppiest slave in all Rome!
Crassus: Oh, Pseudolus. - In the revival, "Comedy Tonight" is continually interrupted with scenes from some horrific tragedy.. The first time it happens, Pseduolus takes a Beat and awkwardly goes "Ha! Ha!" before continuing with the song. But eventually he gets fed up and screams the refrain "Tragedy... TO-MORR-OW! COMEDY tonight!"
- The reprise of "Lovely"... with Pseudolus and Hysterium. Two unattractive middle-aged men, one in drag, reenacting the earlier Falling-in-Love Montage down to the tee.
- Made even funnier in one performance where the actor playing Pseudolus takes the opportunity to bang his head on a nearby pillar.
- And leading up to it, Pseudolus and Hysterium need a body to pull off a scheme to help Philia and Hero run off together. Hysterium suggests a bodysnatching service and Pseudolus gleefully remembers that the service's owner owes him a favor... but he died. Hysterium asks what happened to his body, to which Pseudolus says "it was stolen". Hysterium then moans that he wishes he was dead, leading to the above scene. In the film, in response to Hysterium's line, Pseudolus gets the most hilarious "I have an idea!" expression on his face.
- The sequence also contains this priceless exchange:Hysterium: My father would turn over in his grave if he saw me like this!
Pseudolus: But your father is alive.
Hysterium: Yeah, but this would kill him.
- In the film, when Pseudolus pretends to be a soothsayer to fool Erronius, he screams at him "SILENCE!!!" before letting out this bizarre shriek. Even Hysterium looks thoroughly weirded out.
- Miles Gloriosus accidentally throwing his men off count.Soldiers: Left, right, left, right!
Miles Gloriosus: There's none of the enemy left, right?
Soldiers: Right! Left... right? - "Forward, mourn!"
- "Your collection of...erotic pottery?!"
- "If you will excuse me, I must speak with my eunuch. C'MERE, EUNUCH!"
- Lycus hiding under his cloak from Miles Gloriosus then claiming that he is a member of a holy order...of lepers.
- "One, two, three, LOOK OVER THERE! seven, eight, nine." "What happened to four, five, and six?" "I was getting there! Four, five, six."
- The lengths Hero goes to for mare sweat
- In the film, there's a brief scene where Hero has brought the mare into a sauna.
- "Son, if what you feel for this woman even approaches what I feel for your mother... my heart bleeds for you."
- The one moment in the ridiculous Snowball Lie Gambit Pileup when even Pseudolus is overwhelmed, shouting at Hysterium to "Stay calm!"
