As the title suggests, this crossover transports, through impossibly improbable means, the legendary Michael Westen to a magical world of Templars, Darkspawn and mages.
From the same twisted mind that brought you Zulu Squad no Tsukaima, this shipping fic pairs our intrepid burned spy with a sarcastic female rogue towards the end of 1st Act of the game and follows Hawke's expoits through the 2nd and 3rd Act. Because this is Michael Westen we're talking about, there is much Leaning on the Fourth Wall and snarking abound.
Link of the fanfic can be found here:[1]
The Spy Who Came to Kirkwall provides examples of:
- All Just a Dream: Halfway through the story Michael wakes up in his loft as if nothing had happened, complete with Sam Axe recounting the previous night's failed mission. Then Varric knocks at the door, and Michael realizes he is still in Thedas.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Being a rogue, Hawke is guilty of this quite a bit.
- Casual Kink: Hawke implies this on several occasions.Kitty: ...And if (Michael) is naughty I promise he'll be suitably punished. We'll start with paddles and work up to horsewhips.
[cue one of Michael's trademarked expressions] - Cloudcuckoolander: Hawke, being the Silly/Sarcastic version, comes off as this.
- Deadpan Snarker:
- This is Michael Westen, after all.
- Hawke is also this, since she has the Silly/Sarcastic Hawke persona.
- Distracted by the Sexy:
- Happens to some of the female characters whenever Michael takes his shirt off. Even the female Guards under Captain Aveline aren't immune.
- It happens to Michael when he sees Kitty walking around in leather pants.
- Fluffy the Terrible: Hawke names her Mabari warhound Fifi.
- Hideous Hangover Cure: Kitty orders one from the bartender after a late night of drinking.
- I Know You Know I Know: Kitty references this to Sister Petrice, but being a Silly!Hawke...:Hawke: Oh, come on Sister Petrice. Don't play innocent or string me along. You know that I know. And I know that you know that I know. What you didn't count on what that I knew that you would know that I know...Alright, give us a minute, I'm a bit confused now.
- Inner Monologue: This is Michael Westen we're talking about. Given where he is, it gets quite humorous:Michael: The key to hand-to-hand combat is to be able to close the distance between you and your opponent without putting them on their guard. The IDF uses a form of this called Krav Magra. It's useful against just about any opponent.
[Michael sidesteps the Tal-Vashioth's attack and plunges his combat knife into its arm. The Tal-Vashioth glares at the blade stuck in his arm, and then directs his glare to Michael, then backhands the burned spy]
Michael: Unfortunately, no amount of military training can prepare you to go toe-to-toe with a 8-foot-tall minotaur hell-bent on turning you into red paste. - Insistent Terminology: Kitty really doesn't like it when Michael calls her Hawke.
- Interrupted Intimacy: Becomes something of a Running Gag in the 1st Act with Kitty and Michael, since this is a shipping fic.
- Last-Name Basis: Lampshaded in the story as Kitty doesn't like it when Michael calls her Hawke.
- Once per Episode:
- Once a chapter, Michael will accidentally call Kitty "Hawke".
- And at least once per chapter Michael Westen will use his spy skills to get Hawke and her companions out of trouble, all the while explaining it.
- Primal Scene: In the "Sins of Omission" chapter every single one of Hawke's family walk in on her and Michael, played for laughs. See Interrupted Intimacy.
- Punny Name: Hawke's nickname is Kitty Hawke. Also, see Shout-Out.
- Relax-o-Vision: Invoked by the Seeker Cassandra as a means to censor any potential sexual content.
- Running Gag:
- In the 1st Act after 'Sins of Omission' Kitty and Michael will attempt to do the deed, only to be interrupted at the last minute.
- Kitty is fond of slapping her companions with a trout when they annoy her.
- Also, Kitty doesn't like it when Michael calls her "Hawke".
- Shout-Out:
- The fic's chapter titles are based off episodes from the Burn Notice series.
- Hawke's name is Kitty Hawke.
- She also nicknames her younger brother Wart.
- Varric's nickname for Michael is Bright Eyes.
- Several of her companions, including Michael, comment on Hawke and her looting of the dead bodies after battles.
- Troperrific: The opening narration of the fic combines this with a parody of the Opening Narration of Burn Notice:Michael: My name is Michael Westen, and I used to be a spy, until—
[phone rings, he answers]
Phone: We're putting you in a videogame universe courtesy of a Negative Space Wedgie using Applied Phlebotinum as a weak cover for a self-insert pairing fantasy of a washed-up barely competent short story author trying to relive his glory days writing fanfiction...
Michael: You're blacklisted.
