A to D (Ass Shove, Bait-and-Switch, Deadly Gas, Distracted by the Sexy, Drugs Are Bad) | E to K (Fan Disservice, High-Voltage Death, Hoist by His Own Petard, Karma Houdini) | L to S (Stuff Blowing Up) | T to Z (Tap on the Head, Too Dumb to Live)
Like any other show from Spike TV, attractive scantily-clad young women are expected to appear. While some of them end up victims of gruesome deaths, others live only to get someone else killed by accident when the latter gets so lost in admiring their beauty. Therefore, it warrants 1000 Ways to Die a Distracted by the Sexy subpage.
- "M-R-Ouch!": A double subversion in a highly unusual death. An armed drug addict breaks into the hospital looking for drugs, and he holds up the night shift nurse. She gives him the drugs, but the addict keeps his gun pointed at her. The nurse calms the addict down and then distracts him by stripping down to her bra, panties, and stockings, while at the same time leading to the MRI room. She turns on the MRI, and the gun flies to the MRI machine. But then the addict starts to tremor before flying head-first into the MRI machine, killing him. Turns out, the addict had a metal plate screwed onto his skull.
- "Window Pained": A voyeur watches his hot neighbor dancing around in her underwear. He was so enraptured in his fantasies with her that he poked his head through her window to get a better view. Unsurprisingly, the neighbor sees him and screams, but the voyeur, in his rush to leave, knocks over the stick he propped the window open with, causing it to close on his neck, killing him instantly.
- "D-Parted": A flirtatious and recently divorced Femme Fatale tried to seduce a group of construction workers, one of which is so taken by the woman that he loses control of a concrete saw and ends up slashing the woman in half.
- "Re-Tired": A porn-addicted tire shop owner was so rapt with looking at the newest issue of the Horndog magazine he forgot to check out the tire he was inflating. As a result, he ended up with a face full of shrapnel from overinflating a tire until it exploded.
- "Pornicated": Another porn addict who emptied his wife's vanity to make room for more of his smut drove her to leave the house. However, this didn't stop his addiction and he proceeded to binge-watch porn all day long, neglecting to take care of himself. By the time his need for food and water overcame his porn addiction, it was too late as he became disoriented from water loss. Eventually, he dies when piles of his porn fell on him while trying to crawl out of the attic he holed himself in, pinning him down until he died from dehydration.
- "Hard Balled": A jock who bullies other students throws a lacrosse ball at them. He's distracted when the prettiest girl on campus walks by and doesn't notice when the ball bounces off a wall and back at him, causing commotio cordisnote .
- "Sex Ray": A patient went to Dr. Montana's clinic for a brain radiography. However, the doctor left in the middle of the radiography to have sex with a nurse, whose rear end repeatedly hit the X-ray button, causing the poor sod to die from the constant radiation frying his brain. It seems that the patient himself was distracted by this too, as he gets a front row seat to the action and keeps watching until the X-rays sufficiently cook him to the point of unconsciousness.
- "Lawn of the Dead": At an outdoor barbecue in the 70s, a man throws a lawn dart into the air. His female companion flashed her breasts at him afterward, distracting him long enough for the dart to land in his skull and through the bridge of his nose.
- "Treadkill": A perverted outcast ogles a hot neighbor from his window while running on the treadmill every day. One day, he was so lost in his sexual fantasy he forgot he was still on the treadmill while increasing the velocity, which caused him to fall off only for a hoodie string caught in the cup holder to wrap around his neck and strangle him to death.
- "Blood Bath & Beyond": A perverted building manager who used a high-tech flexible snake camera to peep at the attractive female residents. The creep meets his demise when he goes under 7C to peep on the resident Bathing Beauty, Danielle, whom he deemed his favorite. It turns out the holes he previously made on Danielle's bath floor to maximize his peeping angles rotted the wood underneath and he was so rapt in peeping on her that it was too late when she climbed up the bathtub, causing it to fall through the floor on top of him and blowing off the lid of his skull.
- "Backseat Die-er": An incompetent paramedic fired in three towns for his reputation of getting high off hospital supplies, gets hired in another town. When his female coworker, Lauren, tells him to go check on the back, he decides to get high off the supplies once again. This time, he was so high he hallucinated that Lauren was going to have sex with him, which drives him to play with the defibrillator, which electrocutes him to death.
- "Him-paled": A pervert who took upskirt photos was so focused on taking one of a long-legged woman who seemed to not wear panties that he didn't notice the burly construction worker that served her coffee. While the worker caught him and threatened to give the perv a well-deserved beating, a falling beam from a clumsy construction worker up above beat him to it and took the creep out, impaling him through his heart and lungs.
