Two and a Half Men / Characters

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Harper Family

Charlie Harper

Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper

Played By: Charlie Sheen

The Ace: At least compared to Alan. Women and money just fall into his hands!
Ambiguously Bi: Several characters, including his own therapist, proposed that his constant hooking up with strange women was a desperate attempt to suppress his latent bi/homosexuality.
Adam Westing: Charlie Harper is basically Charlie Sheen without the "Sheen". It started to feel more uncomfortably similar to the real Charlie Sheen's decreasing sanity until his firing.
The Alcoholic: Gradually over time, mostly in the later seasons, where if he's home, he's either pouring himself a drink or has one in his hand.
Always Someone Better: To Alan. Charlie is wealthier than he is and more successful with women. It's a plot point in several episodes that Alan holds a lot of resentment towards Charlie for having a better life with far less effort.
And There Was Much Rejoicing: Next to no one had a single nice thing to say about him during his funeral (Alan tried).
Ashes to Crashes: Ultimately, his smoldered ashes end up on the floor of the house when Alan drops them after being startled by Walden. And again when Jenny shows up. In the series finale it turned out that Charlie was actually still alive and the ashes belong to a goat called Billy.
Asshole Victim: The women who attend his funeral certainly think so. Whether or not he was is up for interpretation, though there is much to validate that he certainly was.
At Least I Admit It: Whatever flaws Charlie has, he doesn't deny who he is. Not that it makes him a more endearing person, since he has admitted on more than one occasion that if there is a Hell he's going there when he dies for all he's done.
Back for the Dead: In the series finale.
Benevolent Boss: Most of the time to Berta, he paid her well and at the wake after his funeral, Berta says he was the best boss she ever had.
Bestiality Is Depraved: Charlie has been mentioned in passing to have either been involved in, caused, or watched incidents of people getting intimate with animals. Due to a miscommunication when they were kids, Alan was caught licking peanut butter off the family dog; this caused their mother to get rid of the dog and Charlie still can't eat peanut butter as an adult. He was asked to leave Bangkok for an incident of "moral turpitude" and he tries to defend himself by saying that he "didn't know it was an endangered species". He has seen "The Bride and the Burro" in Mexico multiple times, has taken Alan with him once, and offered to take him back again to cheer him up when he was depressed. And after he ran off to Paris with Rose, he cheated on her with a French maid, a male mime, and a crossdressing male goat, this was the incident that led to Rose faking Charlie's death and locking him in a pit in her basement.
Big Bad: In the series finale.
Big Brother Bully: To Alan, in their childhood.
Brilliant, but Lazy: As stated by Alan, Charlie has legit musical skill and could have found real work with any number of bands and musicians. But instead he writes cheap commercial jingles because it's less work, and so he can whore and drink himself into an early grave.
Broken Ace: There are some moments where Charlie's vices catch up with him (at least until he was killed). In fact, the entire original premise of the show is that Charlie is one of these because Alan and Jake came back into his life. After his death, it's pretty much revealed that Charlie was extremely miserable and regretful over his life choices.
Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Gets paid millions just for writing jingles and doesn't have to do any other actual work or support anyone else. This is one of the main reasons why Alan despises him so much.
The Bus Came Back: The character, not the actor, returned in the series finale for all of about 10 seconds.
Bus Crash: Charlie technically never left the show, but after it continued with Season 9 (following the hiatus that ended Season 8), Charlie was dead in the opening episode. Then it became subverted in the series finale, where it was revealed he was in fact still alive... then subverted again when he was killed by a falling piano in its last ten or so seconds.
The Casanova: Sleeps with a woman every other episode, if not more.
Casual Kink: According to one of the women at Charlie's funeral, he liked being spanked while wearing her panties.
Character Development: Charlie may have been an immature narcissist and so forth, but he did learn how to be a better uncle and more willing to be in a monogamous relationship. Unfortunately it was thrown out the window in later seasons.
Chick Magnet: Attracts beautiful women with minimum charm. Quoth Alan, "They just drop out of the sky for him!"
Cool Uncle: To Jake, at least originally. Maybe subverted in the series finale, where he sends Jake a check for $25,000.
Deadpan Snarker: One of the biggest, if not the biggest, on the show because of the antics of his family. Only Berta and maybe Evelyn have him beat.
Depraved Bisexual: After Charlie and Rose got married and ran off to Paris, Rose decided to lock Charlie in a pit in her basement after she caught him cheating on her with a French maid, a male mime, and a cross-dressing male goat named Billy.
Depraved Kids' Show Host: In "Is There A Mrs. Waffles?", he spends most of the episode using his newfound fame as Charlie Waffles to hook up with mothers and a couple of very attractive grandmothers.
Disappeared Dad: He decided that he didn't want to be in his daughter Jenny's life anymore and just sent child support.
Dreadful Musician: He can definitely play the piano well and turns out to have a surprising proficiency for writing children's songs, but most of his actual jingles are so bad that it makes you wonder how he was ever able to make a living (to say nothing of a living in Malibu) off of it.
Dropped a Bridge on Him: A train, more specifically. In the finale, a piano... sort of.
Drowning My Sorrows:
- His post-breakup strategy is basically to drink enough to kill an elephant.
- After his death, it's pretty much revealed that his copious alcohol abuse, even when normal was a way to cope with him being horribly miserable in secret.
Dude, Where's My Respect?: His family does nothing but insult him, his career and his lifestyle despite him being incredibly successful as a musician (The quality may be questionable, but he's still really successful.) and having every right to live his life as he sees fit.
Everyone Has Standards:
- Charlie found there were lines even he wouldn't cross, such as in the Christmas episode where he refused to sleep with a woman that was possibly his sister. As Rose quipped, "It's a Christmas miracle!"
- He would never sleep with Judith, Alan's ex-wife. He's not above oogling her breasts, but he'd never cross that line.
- He refuses to sleep with teenage girls, as shown with his refusal of Berta's attractive underage granddaughter's advances (though it's mostly because he doesn't want to go to prison for it).
- He wouldn't sleep with pregnant women. In his own words, "If there's a bun in the oven, I no longer feel the need to butter it."
Extreme Omnisexual: It's frequently joked about in the series that Charlie is so sexually deprived that not even household objects, surfaces or animals are safe from him.
[after Charlie's weekend with Melissa does not end well]
Alan: You sure you don't want to come down to my office and hump my fax machine?
Charlie: You still have a fax machine?
Fetishized Abuser: To Chelsea. When she was suffering back pain due to large breasts he tried to prevent her from having breast reduction surgery so that she'll stay attractive to him. He has also been mentioned to have cheated on a number of his girlfriends. Despite of this, the narrative treats him way better than men who are more decent toward their partners, as if a successful man can only (and is desired for) be a promiscuous jerk.
Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The Foolish to Alan's Responsible.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Choleric.
Flanderization: As the seasons progress, Charlie becomes an even heavier drinker and an even bigger Jerkass. He was also stated to have been a hard drug user and even more sexually deviant than previously thought after his death, though this may have been part of a large Take That! aimed at Charlie Sheen.
Freudian Excuse: It is rehashed quite often that watching his father be emotionally abused in a loveless marriage is why Charlie is so paralyzed by commitment and being vulnerable to a woman.
The Ghost: He becomes this after his "death", where he is constantly mentioned by the other characters, especially Alan, despite not appearing in person.
Girl of the Week: One has to wonder at times how Charlie Harper is the less-exaggerated version of the actual Charlie Sheen.
Generation Xerox:
- A promiscuous, narcissistic alcoholic, just like Evelyn.
- His daughter Jenny is basically Charlie as a lesbian woman.
Handsome Lech: Charlie's the kind of guy who would be in the dictionary under "man-whore" if the word was in there. It's made all the weirder by the fact that he writes children's songs for a living.
Hilariously Abusive Childhood: As he tells to Evelyn, when she asks why doesn't he like her:
"I'm not saying I hate you, but if I did, it might have something to do with the fact that you're a narcissistic bloodsucker who drove my father into an early grave, after which you married a succession of men who couldn't care less about Alan and me, which was just fine with you 'cause you... looked at us like a couple of dancing monkeys you could just haul out whenever it suited you! And when it didn't, you sent us off to boarding school or camp or that kibbutz in Israel, where we got beat up 'cause we weren't even Jewish! And now... now you show up here every chance you get to lay a guilt trip on me for not appreciating my cold, lonely, loveless childhood!"
Instant Seduction: Mia was the only one this didn't work on.
It Amused Me: His reason for picking on Alan so much.
It's All About Me: He's so self-obsessed that when Alan was suicidally depressed all he was thinking about was how Alan's outburst embarrassed him.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: A selfish, egotistical, and narcissistic womanizer, but he does have a good side to him, such as when he gives up his engagement and happy future just to make sure his family has a place to stay.
Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Following Charlie Sheen's dismissal from the show, the writers throw the above under a bus as well. The finale especially tries to drive the point home that Charlie really was a drug-addled, uber-violent asshole, with Alan and Evelyn frightened by the thought that he might actually try and kill them.
Just Friends: With Lyndsey, despite what Alan thought.
Karma Houdini Warranty: Charlie's jerkassery never seemed to catch up to him until he was McLeaned at the beginning of Season 9.
KidAnova: Was a Casanova in his youth as well.
Killed Off for Real: Between Seasons 8 and 9, (presumably) by Rose. Subverted in the series finale where it's revealed he was alive this whole time, before he legitimately gets killed off by a Piano Drop.
Lack of Empathy: Whenever people around him suffer he will often laugh in their face about it. At one point, his girlfriend was having back pain due to large breasts and he tried to prevent her from having breast reduction surgery to deal with that problem. He's even been known to take advantage of people's emotional and social problems for his own benefit.
Ladykiller in Love: With Mia, Chelsea, and Rose. They were the only women he ever proposed to, but never married any of them.
Laser-Guided Karma: The girls who attend the funeral seem to view his "death" as this.
Like Father, Like Son:
- Like Mother, Like Son variant. He would rather went sober than admit it, but in terms of personality, Charlie is incredibly similar to Evelyn - they both tends to overuse alcohol and drugs, are overall arrogant, egotistical, luxury-loving, and sex-addicted. They both are also willing to manipulate others to get their way (Evelyn to sold a new house, Charlie to sleep with a new woman).
- Like Father, Like Daughter variant between Charlie and Jenny, who loves dating multiple women just as much as he does.
Lovable Sex Maniac: Subverted. It caused a lot of resentment from Alan and Evelyn. Jake was cool with it though.
Manchild: According to Alan - "You are a child! A high maintenance child!" He's also been called a "professional boy-toy" and a perpetual adolescent living a dissolute lifestyle to the point his own therapist says he suffers from Peter Pan syndrome.
Mommy Issues: Even more so than Alan.
Narcissist: Charlie is always thinking of himself and has a massive ego. When others around him suffer he finds it amusing but then expects them to sympathize with him whenever he suffers.
The Nicknamer: Mostly to Alan, Jake and Evelyn. Alan was "The Sponge", Jake was "Numbnuts", "Tater head" and "Pumpkin head" and Evelyn was "Satan".
Noodle Incident: Most of Charlie's sexual escapades, especially the ones before Alan and Jake move in.
Not Staying for Breakfast: Charlie's specialty. A lot of the time, he doesn't even know the girl's name.
Odd Couple: With Alan, of a familial variety. Alan's a neurotic, luckless, Straw Loser, whereas Charlie's a filthy rich casanova who coasts through life without a care in the world. Having Alan living with him seriously cramps Charlie's lifestyle, but also gives him some much-needed grounding where he'd otherwise probably drink or screw himself to death.
One-Hour Work Week: Seriously, how often do you ever see him actually working or going somewhere related to his job? Not very often. Somewhat justified, since the show tends to take place on the weekend and Charlie chose his line of work since he can do very little work for a lot of money.
Parental Neglect: Scorns Evelyn for this particular reason.
Platonic Life-Partners: With Berta. Word of God is that they're best friends, but neither would admit it.
The Pornomancer: His talent of instantaneously bedding women borders on the supernatural.
Put on a Bus to Hell: Literally. "Why We Gave Up Women" in Season 9 reveals that Charlie has been consigned to Hell to spend eternity in a woman's body (and a pair of testicles hanging from his lady parts). Until the series finale retconned this by revealing he wasn't actually dead. As to how Alan and Jake managed to see him it can be chalked up to Alan being on medication at the time and Jake having just smoked weed in the hospital bathroom.
Really Gets Around: For most of the show, he has a new girl in his bed almost Once per Episode.
Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Red to Alan's Blue.
Rogue Protagonist: After being one of the three central characters for the first 8 seasons, he returns in the Grand Finale out to kill his brother Alan and his replacement Walden for continuing on without him as if he never existed.
Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Manly Man to Alan's Sensitive Guy.
Sex God: He's portrayed as being a great lover, probably thanks to all the practice.
Smug Snake: Mostly towards Alan, whenever he's bragging about his latest conquest.
Stylistic Suck: His jingles.
Took a Level in Jerkass: Goes from caring about Alan and Jake in his own way to screwing with them just for the hell of it.
Undisclosed Funds: It's never specified exactly how much money Charlie makes and how much money he has, although it makes sense that the amount would be inconsistent since his income is dependent on royalties from his jingles and songs. But whatever he makes is enough for him to spend lavishly and thoughtlessly without ever having to worry about it outside of one season one episode where he was temporarily broke.
Unnecessary Time Precision: Charlie is a jerkass womanizer who has serious commitment issues and treats his flings badly. He still displays this nasty behavior in the very rare instance where he is indeed interested in a woman. His (usually) nicer brother Alan advises him to check on her. Charlie first asks whether it's Sunday before admitting he's never called her for anything other than sex.
Alan: How about this: When was the last time you called her just to see how she was doing?
Charlie: Uh, whoo. What's today, Sunday? Then never.
Unproblematic Prostitution: Has an entire contact list full of hookers on his phone.
Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Most of the time.
Unwitting Instigator of Doom:
- He himself says he's like "a malevolent force of nature," in that he causes a lot of problems for people, but not intentionally.
- Both Alan and Jake have said that whenever Charlie sleeps with someone even remotely connected to their lives, they pay the price instead of him.
  - Charlie seduced Alan's divorce attorney and then dumped her moments before Alan needed her.
  Alan: I lost everything!
  Charlie: To be fair, you didn't have that much to begin with.
  - Jake's teacher Miss Pasternak snapped after Charlie dumped her. She returned in a later episode and revealed that Charlie's dumping of her did not end well for her: She had a nervous breakdown and was fired and blackballed from teaching. Then she lost her house and was disowned by her parents. Now she lives in a cheap motel and works as a stripper.
Vitriolic Best Buds: When he wasn't fighting with Alan or Evelyn, they were this.
What Did I Do Last Night?: This is a weekly ritual for him.

Alan Harper

Alan Jerome Harper

Played By: Jon Cryer

Abusive Parents: To Jake, starting with Season 6. He was (or at least tried to be) a decent parent in the earlier seasons, but between Charlie's hedonistic lifestyle, Judith's abuse and Jake himself becoming an ever more irresponsible idiot, Alan became increasingly jaded and just gave up (there is a sad degree of Truth in Television to this).
Aesop Amnesia:
- After Walden's leading a double life to meet a woman blew up in his face, Alan seems to have completely forgotten these events ever happened in Season 11 and pursues Lyndsey and her fiancée's sister, Gretchen, using the false identity of "Jeff Strongman."
- Charlie's "death" clearly did not make Alan realize that your bad deeds will catch up with you, as he (Alan) becomes completely irresponsible and immoral during the later seasons, essentially becoming the kind of person he scorned Charlie for being earlier on.
Because You Were Nice to Me: He falls in love with Charlie's older, motherly girlfriend for this reason.
Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Alan is the kind of guy who has spent his whole life living by an arbitrary morality, and is now mad that he hasn't reaped the rewards he thinks he deserves for it. Yes, life hasn't treated him all that well, but a lot of that is because Alan is a spineless doormat; he is incredibly resentful of his brother, who lived in hedonistic revelry that Alan secretly wanted himself, but never allowed himself to go for because he thought that the universe would automatically reward him for his passive-aggressive nice guy act. In the last few seasons of the show, however, he seems to have realized this, and consequently has relinquished all pretenses of being a Nice Guy.
Born Unlucky: Despite all his faults, one cannot deny that Alan was born with some kind of curse hanging over his head.
Butt-Monkey: Try and name one episode where something bad doesn't happen to Alan in some way. Go ahead, try it. Though things have turned around for him in the later seasons, even if he doesn't fully appreciate it.
Camp Straight: Charlie once described him as his girlfriend's "gay friend." A whole episode was even dedicated to whether Alan is gay or not. He wasn't, but his effeminate nature keeps this suspicion hanging over his head for most of the series, with several people instantly assuming he's gay.
The Chew Toy: Alan's entire schtick is constant humiliation and misfortune.
The Cassandra: He repeatedly warns Walden about Rose, and is eventually proven right.
Childhood Friend Romance: With Judith. It would go on to end terribly.
Cool Uncle: Jenny, Charlie’s daughter, actually likes Alan and is one of the only people to routinely treat him with respect.
Cosmic Plaything: Just about everything is out to get him, and is merciless in execution.
Covert Pervert: Although he tries to act more controlled than Charlie when it comes to women, Alan is perhaps even more of a pervert. Completely loses the "covert" part in later seasons, openly masturbating in the living room and announcing he is going to watch porn when he finds Louis is out of the house.
The Dandy: Primps about his clothing fairly often.
Deadpan Snarker: He generally has a quippy retort ready for whenever Charlie's antics annoy him or get out of hand, or when he's talking to Judith when Jake isn't around.
Depending on the Writer: In the season 8 episode "A Good Time In Central Africa" he's able to speak Spanish fluently, which he claims is due to having studied in school and gone to chiropractic school in Mexico. In a later episode, when reading the instructions for a tooth bleaching chemical (which are in Spanish) he tells Walden his Spanish isn't that great. Maybe he forgot it in the course of his Flanderization?
Desperately Craves Affection: Alan finds himself having sex with a woman every two episodes or so, but his bad luck with maintaining a relationship stems from his crippling insecurity and neediness, Mommy Issues, and his tendency to gravitate towards emotionally damaged women. He also fell into a relationship with Rose despite knowing the risk of hooking up with her because he was so happy she seemed to genuinely like him. She winded up being too obsessive over being in contact with him 24/7 that when he tried to put boundaries in place, she glued one of his toy cars to his chest. And his love for toy cars? It's described that he's so lonely he needs something to occupy his time which is why Charlie's girlfriend took pity on him and set him up with Rose. He also sometimes tries to interact and keep things civil with Charlie despite the latter always shutting him out. His neediness may also possibly be a result of a lousy childhood where he didn't receive much affection from his mother, losing girlfriends occasionally due to Charlie, and his ex-wife kicking him out as an adult.
Driven to Suicide: Almost did it in a dream he had in season 9. Not to mention it's hinted at by both himself and other characters that he's suicidally depressed. However, given he's never really shown attempting to kill himself, he seems to suffer more from ideation.
Emasculated Cuckold: Several of his love interests end up sleeping with other people while still with him, most notably when Lyndsey cheats on him with his ex-wife Kandi.
Extreme Doormat: Has consistent bad judgement, and had to pay alimony to Judith until she got remarried.
Failure Is the Only Option: No matter what happens, Alan will always end up living in the beach house again, broke and without a girlfriend.
Fetish: Due to having the best sex with Judith when she was pregnant with Jake, Alan has a bit of a thing for pregnant women...
Flanderization: Formerly just broke, unlucky and geekish yet still trying to retain his dignity and moral compass (and raise his son right), Alan gradually becomes a shameless freeloader who will do anything for money/free stuff and has no intention of moving out of his brother's (later Walden's) house. His poverty and cheapness are constant joke fodder. His general clumsiness, bad luck, social ineptitude, poor judgment, and Camp Straight tendencies are also gradually dialed up. He does get less neurotically uptight and more adventurous in later seasons, as the implied result of giving in to his inner Jerkass - whereupon he also becomes, or reveals he's always been, almost as much of a shallow horndog as Charlie.
Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The Responsible to Charlie's Foolish. While not siblings, he and Walden adopt this dynamic starting Season 10, with Alan being the foolish to Walden's responsible (following Walden's Character Development and Alan's Flanderization).
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Melancholic.
The Friend Nobody Likes: Due to Alan being a penny-pinching hypocritical cheapskate who mooches off his brother and occasionally mother, no one really likes or respects him, they just tolerate him. Jake especially is disgusted and has little respect for Alan.
Generation Xerox: It's implied that Alan and Charlie's father was a doormat to Evelyn, just as Alan is to his partners.
Henpecked Husband: You could not find a better example (although it's more like Henpecked Ex-Husband).
Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Where to begin? He and Charlie had to adapt to living with four different fathers, were dumped at a kibbutz in Israel, and left at summer camp until Thanksgiving, among other things. Also having to deal with Charlie being a shitty brother who bullied him relentlessly growing up.
Holier Than Thou: He looks down on everything Charlie does that isn't an age-appropriate relationship. Inverted by Season 10, when Alan goes through both Aesop Amnesia and even more Flanderization, and Walden actually has to tell him, "You're better than this."
Humiliation Conga: He cannot catch a break. In any episode where something bad happens to him (which is fairly often), more humiliation is sure to follow.
In-Series Nickname: "Zippy", from Berta, "The Sponge" from Charlie.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite being a penny-pinching hypocritical cheapskate who mooches off his more successful family members and Walden, he really does care for his family and tries to be a supportive brother to Charlie and a responsible father to Jake. In Season 12, he is dedicated to helping Walden adopt a child and once the child arrives, he quickly forms a bond with him.
Kavorka Man: He's managed to hook up with a legion of attractive women, despite being effeminate, spineless, a Cosmic Plaything, broke, and not particularly good-looking, including mothers Judith and Lyndsey, Brainless Beauty Kandi, Melissa, and countless others. Nearly all of these have ended in disaster, however.
Like Father, Like Son: While we never seen Mr. Harper himself due to him passing away before the show started, the descriptions of him given by Evelyn, Charlie, and Alan seems to indicate that in terms of personality, his younger son takes a lot after him - Mr. Harper seems to have been a submissive husband to his dominant wife Evelyn, who apparently was de-masculining him, and later Alan end up in exactly same marriage with Judith.
Lovable Sex Maniac: Although he's more reserved about it than Charlie. Averted in the later seasons.
Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe:
- Played With. It's implied that Jake might not even be Alan's son; Charlie can't help but notice how much the exterminator, water deliveryman, and mailman all resemble Jake...
- It's never been conclusively answered, but many signs point to Judith and Herb's daughter Milly actually being Alan's.
Masturbation Means Sexual Frustration: Very often. Charlie's even caught him having sex with a vacuum, he admits to masturbating before dates to get the right enthusiasm out of women, and once masturbated seven times in several different locations just to use up pills before they expired (eventually getting arrested when he was caught in a movie theater). Exaggerated in later seasons.
M.D. Envy: He is a chiropractor that is constantly made fun of for not being a "real doctor" by everyone else.
Mistaken for Gay: Sometimes with Charlie, but it turns into a running joke with Walden from Season 9-on. Every woman that learns they live together seems to think they are a couple.
No Pregger Sex: Inverted. He claims the best sex he ever had with Judith was during the time she was pregnant with Jake, which explains his offbeat pregnancy fetish.
No-Respect Guy: If Alan is given any amount of praise whatsoever from his family, it's usually undone by the end of the episode.
Odd Couple: With Charlie and later with Walden.
Only Sane Man: In the early seasons; by the end he's hands down the most bizarre and dysfunctional character on the show.
Papa Wolf: He tells off Evelyn for crushing Jake's self-esteem when he aces a test and calls out Charlie a couple times for treating Jake poorly.
Parental Neglect: In later seasons, both he and Judith exhibit this towards Jake. In turn, Alan was a victim of this from his own mother. Truth in Television sadly.
Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Blue to Charlie's Red. He is, however, the Red to Walden's Blue.
The Scrooge: His sponging off of Charlie (and later Walden) was eventually Flanderized into this. He was once driven to tears from having to pay for a meal. Ultimately, his poverty also leads to the demise of his chiropractic business.
Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Sensitive Guy to Charlie's Manly Man.
Smug Snake: In Season 11, he flaunts the fact that he is FWB with Lyndsey and best friends with her boyfriend to Walden nonstop.
Stopped Caring: As time goes on, he sheds his Holier Than Thou attitude and embraces his freeloading ways, openly and proudly declaring himself to be scum.
Status Quo Is God: Every single time that Alan gets back on his feet financially, has an opportunity to move out, or finds love, it always ends with him broke, alone and living in Charlie/Walden's house.
The Thing That Would Not Leave: You could practically name this trope The Alan Harper. Exaggerated in Season 9 and onwards. It's worth noting that in the pilot, Alan insists he's only moving in for "a couple of days", but by Season 10, he happily tells Walden to his face that he's gonna die in the beach house.
Took a Level in Dumbass: Goes from being a responsible but socially awkward adult and the voice of reason to an immature, socially stunted moron who is totally incapable of taking care of himself.
Took a Level in Jerkass: Goes from a flawed but generally Nice Guy to a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing to a full on Jerkass with only the occasional Pet the Dog moment.
True Companions: With Walden. They bond over having had their lives turned upside down by their divorce and finding a new place to live.
The Unfavorite: He's gotten flanderized into this over time. When Charlie was around, Evelyn always insisted that Alan was the "good son", but after Charlie's "death", she insists he was the one she was most proud of and is openly repulsed by the very mention of Alan.
Ungrateful Bastard: He shows brief glimmers of this throughout the entire series, but it's more obvious in later seasons.
Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Eventually becomes no better than Charlie himself.
Vitriolic Best Buds: Played straight with Walden. He and Charlie were this when they weren't fighting about something.
Yank the Dog's Chain: On numerous unfair occasions, most notably when he found happiness with Kandi and moving into a condo, only for Kandi to leave him a few months later, keep the condo, and have the alimony checks for Alan continue, this time for two ex-wives.

Jake Harper

Jacob David "Jake" Harper

Played By: Angus T. Jones

Abusive Parents: Alan and Judith are this to him. Both seemed to at least try to provide a good life for Jake in the early seasons, but after realizing that his life would most likely go nowhere, they stopped caring.
Adorably Precocious Child: Originally.
Back for the Finale: He makes a brief appearance in the finale, where he reveals that he left the army and got married.
Big Eater: His defining characteristic, aside from his stupidity.
Bratty Half-Pint: In seasons 2-4. After that he became too old to be considered a "half-pint."
Broken Pedestal: As the series goes on, he becomes more aware of Charlie and Alan's flaws and he distances himself from them a few times when they cost him several relationships or embarasss him in front of girls.
Catchphrase: "... Oh yeah!" whenever he's been reminded of something.
The Chosen One: Called this by Charlie and Alan in "Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab". He was the only person who ever broke Evelyn.
Clueless Chick-Magnet: Throughout the series, Jake has had alot of attention from girls even before he started really dating. Eventually he drops the Clueless part in the later seasons.
Deadpan Snarker: He has his moments before Flanderization kicked in, mostly at Charlie and Alan's expense.
Demoted to Extra: Starting with Season 10, when Jake left to join the military and only appeared sporadically. Even before that, his role slowly started to diminish. By Season 11 he's left the show entirely.
The Ditz: He becomes dumber and dumber every season.
Dumbass Teenage Son: Alan and Judith both realized pretty early on that his life was going nowhere.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Phlegmatic.
From the Mouths of Babes: Especially in later seasons, when Charlie's influence is starting to get to him. Alan is understandably not happy that his pre-teen son occasionally talks like an aged bachelor.
Gasshole: According to Charlie, Jake is flatulent like a whoopee cushion.
Generation Xerox: Jake had quite a bit of success with women just like Charlie did. Jake had sex with a plethora of women once he got older, including a threeway with two girls, his tutor Megan (who briefly became his girlfriend), Jennifer - Zoey's slutty neighbor (and a grown woman at that), Missy (who had a boyfriend), his older girlfriend Tammy, and then Tammy's daughter. Charlie would have been proud.
Genius Ditz: He's an idiot, a jerkass and is socially inept, but he is a fantastic cook and everyone likes his cooking. He even became a chef when he joined the Army.
Hidden Depths: He's a fantastic chef, and after Charlie died he mentions to Alan that he was well aware how lonely and miserable Charlie really was deep down.
Innocently Insensitive: He alternates between being this and being a deliberate Jerkass.
Insane Troll Logic: His default thought process, especially when he gets older.
In-Series Nickname: "Buddy" from Alan and "Taterhead" from Charlie.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He becomes more jerky starting Season 3 and got worse as time went on. Despite that, it's clear he still loves his father and is overall still a well-meaning kid, even if he is a bit of a dumbass.
Kavorka Man: In the later seasons. He's ugly, stupid and obnoxious, yet he manages to pull a threeway with two cute girls while in high school.
Herb: Who's Celeste?
Jake: My girlfriend. She lives next door.
Herb: Is she pretty?
Jake: She's gorgeous and smart and popular.
Herb: No kidding?
Charlie: We don't get it, either.
Alan: Maybe she's punishing her father.
Jake: Let's hope so.
Kids Raiding the Wine Cabinet: After he entered his "stupid teenager" phase would do this periodically with his Uncle Charlie. Charlie tended to be more angered at the missing liquor than the drunken antics that followed.
Lazy Bum: Anything that doesn't involve eating or messing around is too much effort for him. His poor performance in school is at least at much to blame on his dirt-poor work ethic as it is his stupidity.
Likes Older Women: In season 9, he was 17 but had sex with a 24 year-old woman, after lying about his age. In season 10, he went out with a 36 year-old who had three kids, one of which was older than him. By that point, he was of age.
Literal-Minded: 80% of jokes involving Jake will revolve around him taking something way too literally, much to the irritation of everyone else.
Morality Pet: To Evelyn, who does have some measure of care towards him, and in Season 6 even offers to pay for his college and a car.
Odd Friendship: With Rose, up until season 9 when she made it clearly obvious that she killed his Uncle Charlie. He too became afraid of her but to a lesser extent than Alan.
Out of Focus: From Season 10 onwards, he was Demoted to Extra, before leaving the show altogether in Season 11.
Parental Neglect: From both Alan and Judith in later seasons.
The Pigpen: Combine this with being stupid and an eating machine, and that's Jake in a nutshell.
Pet the Dog: He was genuinely sad for Charlie that he and Chelsea broke up.
Put on a Bus: Starting Season 11, he left the show for good (barring the role being recasted), due to Angus T. Jones having decided to largely give up acting in the wake of becoming a Born-Again Christian, and limiting himself to stage work and occasional independently-produced Christian films. He did however return for a cameo in the finale.
Really Gets Around: On a few occasions, Jake has a way with the ladies, for instance, when he had a threesome with two other girls, dates his tutor and an older woman, after which he started fooling around with the older woman's daughter.
The Slacker: Lazy and underachieving.
Something We Forgot: In several episodes, Alan temporarily moves out of the house and accidentally leaves Jake behind. Although he doesn't seem to care.
The Stoner: Becomes a habitual pot smoker in Season 9, thanks to Eldridge's influence.
Supreme Chef: Is revealed to be very good at cooking.
Those Two Guys: With Eldridge, his partner in stupidity.
Too Dumb to Live: How Jake hasn't killed himself in some crazy stunt, we'll never know. The episode where he and Eldridge film Jackass-type antics takes this up a notch.
Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: He's this to Evelyn in "Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab". Handling him by herself for a whole night leaves her exhausted and broken.
Took a Level in Dumbass: Jake went from a fairly witty but sloppy kid to a braindead pothead.
Took a Level in Jerkass: He also becomes more ungrateful and obnoxious towards Charlie and Alan.
Took a Level in Kindness: In Season 10, his attitude toward his father improves exponentially.

Evelyn Harper

Played By: Holland Taylor

Abusive Parents: Was this to her sons, being a selfish and negligent excuse of a mom who left them psychologically screwed them up in many different ways.
Awful Wedded Life: To Charlie and Alan's father. According to Charlie, she drove him to an early grave, and it's implied that he intentionally gave himself fatal food poisoning to get away from her.
Brutal Honesty: Never minces her words.
Depraved Bisexual: Even more so than her manwhore of a son, as with her, gender is no object in her conquests.
The Dreaded: Both hated and feared by her sons.
- Not just her sons, when Charlie is dating a crazy Satanist who curses him and Alan and refuses to leave, it only takes her a few moments to recognize Evelyn in her Halloween getup before she hurries out of the house.
Deadpan Snarker: Mostly towards Charlie and Alan.
Demoted to Extra: She only appeared in one episode in season 10, and four in season 11.
Dirty Old Woman: She's slept with men and women both young and old and has no problem engaging in random sex with anyone she finds remotely attractive. According to Alan, she's an "uber-cougar".
Even Evil Has Standards: Despite their rocky relationship, Evelyn is understandably offended when Charlie’s exes viciously badmouth him at his funeral right in front of her.
Evil Matriarch: Following a tremendously Hilariously Abusive Childhood, Charlie and Alan think so, and from the pieces of it we hear about, they may be right.
The Friend Nobody Likes: No one genuinely likes Evelyn or wants to associate with her, not even her sons or grandchildren. Charlie even mentions that if she hadn't sold him the house, she wouldn't know where he lives.
Going Commando: On the night that was supposed to be the first date of her and Russell, after the latter ruins the moment by bringing a lady friend, she mentions going upstairs to put on panties.
Grande Dame: What she's going for, what with the high-class mannerisms and the pretensions of culture, but she's ultimately a little too sleazy to pull it off.
In-Series Nickname: "Satan" from Charlie. Also called "Death" and "The Black Widow" by Alan once or twice.
It's All About Me: She's literally incapable of thinking of anyone but herself. Even when it seems like she's being uncharacteristically generous, it's because she has an ulterior motive.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She displays glimmers of being one of these as well, though most of her "nicer" actions are related to her narcissism in some way.
Karma Houdini: Except for the occasional scolding, she gets no comeuppance whatsoever for her actions.
Lack of Empathy: The thought of caring about other people perplexes her. Someone will say, "A rich friend died," and Evelyn will hear, "House for sale!"
Lady Drunk: She's usually seen with a drink in her hand. True to the trope, it's often from a martini glass.
My Beloved Smother: Played with. She was outright neglectful when Alan and Charlie were growing up and remained emotionally unavailable as they grow up. She still tries to insert herself into their lives as much as possible, mainly to satisfy her own misconception of herself a concerned, unappreciated mother. And even when she does that, she's only concerned with her own desires.
Narcissist: She is always thinking of herself.
Parental Favoritism: While she is by no means a loving mom, and it's barely much, she does seem to prefer Alan for being the more responsible son who settled down and had a kid. Though after Charlie's death, she seems to reverse on this, mourning Charlie while showing nothing but utter contempt for Alan.
Pet the Dog: She comforted Charlie after Chelsea left him and has sometimes displayed genuine affection for Jake.
Really Gets Around: She's bedded Rose's father, Lyndsey's mother, Walden, Walden's mother, Michael Bolton, Charlie's ex-girlfriend "Bill", Gloria's mother and biological father, and many, many others.
Why Couldn't You Be Different?: A source of frustration for Evelyn is how her sons and grandson (especially her grandson) do not appreciate expensive, classy things as she does.

Jenny Harper

Played By: Amber Tamblyn

The Alcoholic: To the point where she tries to cure a hangover with vodka.
Ambiguously Bi: She's a lesbian, but she indulges in a threesome with Larry and Lyndsey and expresses interest in Walden at least a couple times. When she finds herself in a Bedmate Reveal situation with Walden, it doesn't take much for her to believe she slept with him.
Ascended Extra: She joins the main cast after Jake leaves the show.
Back for the Finale: After being absent for most of season 12, she makes an appearance in the last episode, where it turns out she lives in an apartment of her own and has been given a generous $25,000 from Charlie.
Chick Magnet: Seriously. She picks up a girl in a bar that isn't a lesbian without revealing that she herself is a lesbian. She also has a threesome with Walden's mom and Lynda freakin' Carter.
Contrasting Replacement Character: While Jake was a dimwitted, heterosexual male, Jenny is a much smarter lesbian woman. Also, while Jake was introduced as a kid, Jenny was introduced as an adult.
Cousin Oliver: Introduced in Season 11 to take Jake's place.
Deadpan Snarker: Inherited Charlie's sarcasm.
Demoted to Extra: In season 11, she appeared in all episodes except one. In season 12, she only appeared in three episodes, despite being one of the main characters.
Distaff Counterpart: She's basically Charlie if he were born female.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Leukine.
Generation Xerox: She is exactly like her father Charlie, to the point of being an Expy. Berta even says "Charlie's back" when seeing her in action.
Gold Digger: She only comes looking for Charlie once the checks he was sending to her stopped coming, and starts mooching off of Walden and her surviving relatives.
Hard-Drinking Party Girl: When first introduced, she was shown to enjoy drinking hard and partying. This was downplayed in later episodes.
I Banged Your Mom: She banged Walden's mom in a threesome with Lynda Carter!
Instant Seduction: We rarely ever see how she seduces women, but it's always near instantaneously. Walden outright calls it the "lesbian zombie" virus.
In the Blood: As much of a womanizer as Charlie was.
The Lad-ette: Loves drinking, partying and sex (with women).
Like Father, Like Son: Or in this case like daughter. She is frequently described as being exactly like Charlie, even down to his love of women.
Lipstick Lesbian: Though her behavior is stereotypically masculine, her appearance is feminine.
Lovable Sex Maniac: Much of her character revolves around her love of sex, but she's portrayed as a charming seducer and not a creepy pervert.
Nice Girl: She's a lot nicer than her father was, and one of the only people to actually treat Alan decently.
Put on a Bus: Moves in with Evelyn in the third episode of Season 12, so that her room can be used for Walden's adopted child.
Really Gets Around: She is an unrepentant womanizer that has a lot of casual sex and isn't looking for a serious relationship.
Sex Goddess: Sexual prowess is another trait of Charlie that she inherited, as she's portrayed as being really good in bed.

Louis Schmidt

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/louis_5.jpg

Played By: Edan Alexander

Louis Schmidt is Walden and Alan's adopted child. He appears in Season 12. He is 6 years old.

Artifact Title: When Jenny ended up being Put on a Bus, the writers gave Walden and Alan a six-year-old foster son named Louis, who fulfilled the "half" role for a while towards the series' end.
Cousin Oliver: In season 12, a foster kid named Louis moves in with Walden and Alan. He's adorable, and a closer example than the adult Jenny. He is the newest kid member of the Harper family and he was introduced as the new "half" of the titular "Two and A Half Men" in season 12.
Department of Child Disservices: Louis calmly talks to Walden and Alan about being shuffled between various foster homes. It's heartbreaking.
Happily Adopted: With the Harper family. He is officially adopted by Walden in the third-to-last episode.
Trademark Favorite Food: Louis' favorite snacks are Cheez-Its, cereal, and pancakes.
What Happened to the Mouse?: Notably, Louis is the only main character physically absent in the series finale, "Of Course He's Dead". This absence not being explained, although a picture of him is shown.

Other Main Characters

Berta

Played By: Conchata Ferrell

Charlie's housekeeper.

Almighty Mom: Charlie and Alan bow to Berta's authority, and understand perfectly that they're lost without her. Unfortunately, it's harder for her to control her own children.
Ambiguously Bi: She mentions having had sex with many (loser) men, but has also hinted at attraction towards some of Charlie's Lady friends.
Ascended Extra: The character of Berta was so popular with test audiences that she became a member of the main cast.
Deadpan Snarker: Biggest one on the show.
Drowning My Sorrows: Alcohol gets her though her, for the most, dumpster fire of a life.
Fiery Redhead: Usually pretty laid-back but get her riled-up enough and she'll slip into this.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Choleric.
The Gadfly: She loves to mess with Charlie and Alan for the fun of it.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She may be snarky and rule the house through fear, but has shown that she cares about her employers in her own way. Even Alan. And was the first person to accept Alan and Walden's adopted son Louis because she was a foster child herself.
Odd Friendship: With Alan, during the rare instances where she's nice to him.
Only Sane Woman: She thinks of herself this way and just might be in comparison to everybody else on the show.
Only One Name: Even lampshaded by Alan in one episode when Walden asks how old he thinks Berta is, and Alan responds with the fact that he "doesn't even know her last name."
Platonic Life-Partners: With Charlie. Word of God is that they're best friends, but neither would admit it.
Promotion to Opening Titles: In Season 2.
Really Gets Around: Berta implied she's had her share of affairs in life, even mentioning she once had sex with a guy for a tank of gas.
Second Episode Introduction: Despite being part of the core cast, she didn't debut until the fourth episode.
Servile Snarker: Up there with the best of them. She even mentions that Charlie would have to pay her to not be one.
The Stoner: Mentions smoking pot rather frequently in later seasons.
Wisdom from the Gutter: Berta is often the one taking care of problems and pointing out personal issues in the Harper Household, despite being implied to live in a heavily lower class household with a considerably dysfunctional and morally loose family.

Judith Harper-Melnick

Played By: Marin Hinkle

Alan's ex-wife and Jake's mother.

Abusive Parents: Her lack of regard for Jake crosses into emotional abuse on more than one occasion. Which is more or less an extension of how she treats everyone else.
Awful Wedded Life: Her marriage to Alan was miserable, and her relationship to Herb doesn't seem any happier.
Back for the Finale: Made a cameo in the series finale, where she reveals to Alan that Jake gave her a fair amount of his winnings from Vegas. Alan himself wound up being the only character to get nothing (from neither Jake nor a recently-revealed-to-be-alive Charlie), which essentially closes the deal on Judith's Karma Houdini status before she hangs up on Alan for good.
The Bully: It’s one thing to hate your ex, but Judith goes out of her way to make Alan’s life miserable at every turn for no reason other than that she feels like it.
The Bus Came Back: In a single episode, where Walden and Alan tried to convince her to take back Herb.
Childhood Friend Romance: With Alan. Which ends in divorce.
Demoted to Extra: Started to become this in Season 9, before being officially Put on a Bus.
Evil Matriarch: She's not a great mother, being exasperated with Jake and having even less faith in him than Alan.
For the Evulz: She spends years bleeding Alan completely dry financially, despite not needing the money, and genuinely enjoys making him suffer.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Choleric.
Hated by All: No one likes Judith. Charlie, Alan, Herb, Jake seems to not care for her much as he gets older, even her own parents don't seem all that wild about her.
Hate Sink: Arguably the most obnoxious of the main cast, and lacks the Hidden Heart of Gold that makes the others tolerable, and is determined to be the biggest bane in Alan's life, and she does it too, with almost zero backlash.
Hypocrite: She scolds Charlie and Alan for numerous things she herself has been known to do. And then she left Herb because he cheated on her with his receptionist, even though she has cheated on Herb with men that he considers his friends.
It Amused Me: Went from merely bullying Alan for her own needs to just thriving on any moment that will make him squirm.
It's All About Me: To call her self-absorbed would almost be too kind.
Jerkass: The biggest in the show. Even though she had already kicked Alan out of their house and gotten the right to an extremely high alimony, which had given Alan no choice but to live with his brother Charlie, she loved to destroy his life even further and extort even more money from him. She also seemed to have no love for her son Jake, and still had the nerve to complain at Alan's parenting skills. And it became obvious that she treated her new husband, Herb, just as badly as she had treated Alan. And except for one episode, where she actually allowed Alan to live with her and Herb after he had a fight with Charlie (which was very out of character for her), she had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. She actually started out as a reasonably realistic person in the face of a divorce and confusion about her own sexuality, but gradually became more narcissistic and selfish as the show went on.
Karma Houdini: Outside getting her ego stung slightly by the odd dry one-liner, she has gotten away with taking Alan for everything (though that was also Charlie's fault), as well as constantly hurling abuse at him, trying to control his life and being a full-on Jerkass to him for almost a decade as well as treating Herb and Jake like crap and indirectly interfering with Charlie's life as a result. It only seems to be set in stone now she has been Put on the Bus.
Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: The paternity of her daughter Milly is called into question, as Milly was conceived around the time Judith and Alan had a brief affair while she was seperated from Herb. Moreover, multiple characters comment on how Milly resembles Alan a great deal, causing Judith a great amount of aggravation. The question itself is never actually answered, but it really does look like Alan is the biological father.
No Bisexuals: In the series premiere, after 12 years of marriage to Alan, Judith suddenly announces she thinks she is gay. Although she just used this as an excuse to divorce Alan. It was intended to be genuine at first, but after finding out Friends used a similar plot, they rewrote it as a lie, helping establish her manipulative Jerkass persona.
Pet the Dog: They're extremely rare and these moments never last, but she does still have them:
- When she believes Alan is gay, she starts being nicer to him.
- When Charlie tells her that Alan is going under and took a part-time job, she visits him and tells him that she doesn't need the alimony and gives him a check so that he can get back on his feet.
- After Alan has a heart attack and comes back home, Judith visits him and is much nicer to him than she's ever been, telling him not to worry about paying child support and offering him the use of a condo she and Herb have in Palm Springs.
Plastic Bitch: Judith is mentioned to have gotten various procedures, including breast implants and liposuction. The bitch part comes in because she's paying for the surgeries using her husband's alimony, to the point he can barely afford to support himself.
Put on a Bus: As of Season 10.
Taking the Kids: Used this as a threat from time to time on Alan. She actually followed through by taking Milly away when she divorced Herb.
Took a Level in Jerkass: She was always a Jerkass, but mostly just in a self-centered manner. As time passed she became actively vindictive, mooching off Alan and making his life a living hell at every opportunity. Her callousness became indiscriminate too, neglecting and abusing Jake, and treating Herb as badly as she had Alan.
Women Are Wiser: The early seasons portray her as infinitely more mature and capable than her ex-husband. When she goes up against Alan's brother Charlie, he may get his way sometimes but she is still portrayed as the one with the level-headed opinion in the argument. Played With in later seasons, while Judith is still more capable than Alan, she also becomes far more vindictive than him and takes sadistic delight in humiliating him at any opportunity and Alan starts "losing" to her because he is the Butt-Monkey rather than any moral superiority on her part.

Rose

Played By: Melanie Lynskey

A one night stand of Charlie's that become his obsessed stalker.

Abhorrent Admirer: Not because she's ugly (she's quite attractive) but because of her personality. She's a stalker, she would regularly climb over their balcony instead of visiting by using the front door and has engaged in elaborate schemes to make Charlie fall for her, including keeping him sick so she can invoke Florence Nightingale Effect and put on a fake wedding just to make Charlie want her.
Ax-Crazy: God help anyone that tries to stand in her way. Charlie ended up in this situation, too. Turns out she really didn't kill him, but actually intended to, and would have if a goat hadn't intervened.
Big, Screwed-Up Family: Her father is just as crazy as her and starts stalking Evelyn after dating briefly. According to her grandmother, this happens when one marries a first cousin.
Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: More prevalent in later seasons, where she flat-out admits being a stalker and doing crazy things to the Harpers just for the hell of it.
The Bus Came Back: She makes a few guest appearances in the post-Charlie seasons.
The Chessmaster: When Charlie starts thinking that Rose was making him sick on purpose, Alan points out that he obviously caught the flu from an unrelated incident...Yep, turns out that it was Rose who arranged for him to meet this woman who gave him the flu. Similarly, if you start thinking that no one would stage a wedding to a nonexistent groom in order to make someone jealous, or any other idea that underestimates her in such a way, the plot will prove you wrong.
Clingy Jealous Girl: Becomes extremely jealous of any women that get actually close to Charlie, such as stalking Chelsea when she was about to marry Charlie. She also killed Charlie but not really when she caught him in bed with another woman after they married.
Cloudcuckoolander: She definitely dwells on her own planet. Don't mistake strangeness for stupidity, though.
Demoted to Extra: Starting Season 9, her appearances become extremely sporadic, though it makes sense as she's no longer a part of the main cast and her Love Interest, Charlie, is "dead".
Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: It goes without saying that Rose would absolutely not fly if she were a man, and Charlie a woman. With the genders reversed, a crazed stalker following someone around for years, breaking in to their house on a regular basis, meddling with their relationships and trying to manipulate that person into sleeping with them would be considered horrifying.
Ditzy Genius: She's actually highly educated and seems absurdly competent in most things she tries, pulling all kinds of impressive stunts and plans in her attempts to get Charlie to love her.
The Dreaded: Becomes this to Alan, Berta and Jake post-season 9, when they're all terrified of her getting back into their lives again via Walden, after she obviously killed Charlie.
Drop-In Character: She shows up at Charlie's house uninvited all the time, usually via climbing his deck.
Enter Stage Window: A Running Gag of her stalker behavior involves her climbing over the side of the deck outside Charlie's house to get in.
Faux Affably Evil: Rose appears to be such a sweet well put together woman until she starts gluing Charlie's testicles to his thigh and murders him when she catches him cheating on her on their honeymoon.
Flanderization: She originally gave off a sweet and innocent vibe to conceal her true nature, but in later seasons, becomes a full-on Ax-Crazy bitch who takes delight in doing nasty things to get her way, and has no problem letting anyone know.
Flower Motifs: Her clothes are embroidered with flower patterns, topped with her name.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Sanguine.
Jerkass: In her own Faux Affably Evil way.
Karma Houdini: She stalked Charlie for years, attempted to kill him, and then kidnapped and locked him in her basement for several years without remorse. In the series finale, she walks away with zero repercussions for her actions.
Kissing Cousins: Her grandparents are first cousins.
Like Father, Like Son: Her father, Harvey, was known to show the same Stalker with a Crush behavior. Harvey had a one night stand with Charlie and Alan's mother and began to stalk her in the exact same manner that Rose stalked Charlie.
Like Parent, Like Spouse: Her father is played by Martin Sheen who obviously looks a lot like Charlie.
Love Makes You Crazy: Become insanely obsessed with Charlie after a one-night-stand with him.
Ms. Fanservice: She's an attractive woman who has been in some form-fitting outfits.
Nice Girl: In the early seasons, despite being Charlie's stalker, she is a nice, helpful person who happens to have some obsessive tendencies, she's also highly intelligent with a PhD in psychology and even gave Charlie relationship advice at times. She Took a Level in Jerkass in later seasons and her nice girl behavior became pure Sugary Malice.
Odd Friendship: She and Jake develop a friendship in season 1 and start to regularly hang out when he's at Charlie's.
O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Her reaction to learning that Charlie is about to get married is to shift to an emotionless monotone, flash a Slasher Smile, and, most terrifyingly, leave by the front door. Both Alan and Charlie assume she's about to go off the deep end.
Progressively Prettier: She was first depicted as an ugly woman, but the actress was too good-looking, so her character was developed into a creepy stalker.
Put on a Bus: After Charlie's "death", she starts popping up far less often, although eventually, she starts stalking Walden.
Sex Goddess: She's apparently into some bizarre kinky stuff that makes her an extremely satisfying lover, with Walden claiming it was the "best sex of his life".
Stalker with a Crush: Played for Laughs since Stalking Is Funny if It Is Female After Male. She became obsessed with Charlie after they had a single one night stand. She is a bit odd in that she's both quite self-aware of what she's doing, and is actually on friendly terms with Charlie and his family in the earlier seasons.
Sugary Malice: She speaks sweetly, but the contents she says is often disturbing.
Throw the Dog a Bone: Establishing that she and Charlie did get married before his death probably was the closest the show could go to giving Rose a happy ending. Of course, her faking his death and locking him in her basement does put a damper on this in hindsight.
Took a Level in Jerkass: She became more and more unhinged as the show went on, to the point of killing Charlie. In the series finale it's revealed she didn't actually kill him, but the intention was still there, and she did keep him prisoner in a basement for four years.
The Tragic Rose: While onscreen she appears sweet and pretty, her offscreen activities are quite disturbing and frequently painful to her crush.
We Named the Monkey "Jack": She has five ferrets that are all named after Charlie.
Yandere: During Charlie's funeral, is plain everyone believes she killed him, she instead kept him locked in her basement for years.

Kandi

Played By: April Bowlby

Alan's Love Interest in season 3 and eventual second ex-wife.

Back for the Finale: Makes a cameo in the series finale, when Alan, thinking he is going to be murdered by a brainwashed Charlie, tells her that although they were only together for a short while, he still loves her.
Brainless Beauty: She's very dimwitted and is loved mostly by her good looks.
Buxom Beauty Standard: Her large breasts are frequently noticed by men and often played for laughs.
The Ditz: Show best when Alan hires her as his assistant. She can't even use the phone properly.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Sanguine.
Hidden Depths:
- She does occasionally show some intelligent moments and seems to be a decent piano player.
- She's a decent enough actress and can accurately say forensic science terms without mispronouncing it.
Innocently Insensitive: Extremely blunt and inappropriate at times, simply because she's too much of a ditz to know what's appropriate and when.
Literal-Minded: She can actually get what someone's saying most of the time, but you have to spell it out exactly the way you mean it. Figurative language is completely lost on her;
The Missus and the Ex: Bonds with both of Alan's main Love Interests, Judith and Lyndsey.
Ms. Fanservice: Wears many Sexy Whatever Outfits when not being a Walking Swimsuit Scene. Even her casual clothes often expose her legs or stomach.
Intergenerational Friendship: Kandi, who's in her twenties, gets along well with Jake, a pre-teen, due to them being similarly stupid.
Took a Level in Jerkass: Before she left Alan, she was much nicer to him than everyone else. Then she got Judith's attorney.

Chelsea Melini

Played By: Jennifer Taylor

Charlie's Love Interest in season 6 and his almost-wife.

Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Her mother is a racist, homophobe white supremacist. Her father, Tom, who is a Navy veteran, seemed to be the same but it is later revealed in Season 7 that he has been in love with his old Navy buddy for many years.
Anorgasmia: In "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair", Charlie's horrified when he finds out that he's been unable to bring her to orgasm for a while and she confesses that she was irrationally distraught over her ex-husband marrying another woman, meaning he's "over her", and it began affecting her sex life. After she works it out with Charlie, she's having The Immodest Orgasm the next time they get to bed.
Back for the Finale: Made a cameo in the series finale, where she got a generous check from Charlie, as well as an apology for breaking her heart.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Phlegmatic.
Hypocrite: She storms out on Charlie because he slept with her best friend Gail when she was in Mexico with Brad, the guy she left Charlie for to begin with. She then ends their relationship for good because he slept with Gail again despite storming out on him.
I Can Change My Beloved: Tried her best to turn Charlie into a better person.
The Immodest Orgasm: Charlie says she yells out "Gaaaa" when the sex is really satisfying. She's trying to say "God" but it comes out as "Gaaaa".
Informed Attribute: One episode focuses on Chelsea considering breast reduction to deal with back pain. While her breasts aren't exactly small, they're not large enough to cause that much damage to a woman her size.
Kindhearted Cat Lover: She's very kind and has a cat as a pet named "Sir Lancelot".
Morality Pet: She was one for Charlie and brought out his heart of gold and encouraged his good qualities.
Ms. Fanservice: She was often seen in a nightgown that showed off her cleavage.
Nice Girl: Before taking a level in Jerkass, she treated Alan (and to an extent, Charlie) the nicest out of everybody on the show.
Relationship Revolving Door: Was to the point of leaving Charlie many times during their relationship, but they always patched up at the end. Until he slept with her Best Friend.
Took a Level in Jerkass: She dumped Charlie for Alan's lawyer Brad. She then left him all over again once he sleeps with her friend Gail while they were separated and Chelsea turns into a complete bitch who happily dances (metaphorically) on Charlie's grave despite the good times they had.

Walden Schmidt

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/walden_schimdt.jpg

Played By: Ashton Kutcher

The man who buys Charlie's house after his "death", replacing Charlie as one of the protagonists for the 4 final seasons.

Always Someone Better: To Charlie, in the Series Finale, Rose reveals she told Charlie all about Walden being richer and prettier than him and that he moved into Charlie's old house and took over his life like he never existed.
Bigger Is Better in Bed: Alan mentions he's "Hung like an elephant" when Walden strips naked in front of him. Berta, Judith and Jenny are all very impressed upon seeing him naked.
Bungled Suicide: He tried to drown himself in the ocean outside of the beach house after his wife left him, but apparently didn't realize the water would be so cold.
Butt-Monkey: He's still much better off than Alan, but has started to verge into this territory.
Characterization Marches On: Around the time when Walden's beard was gone, so was his childlike personality. Alan originally had the upper hand as his "guidance" following his divorce, but by Season 10, Walden is clearly the more mature one in the house, often acting as Alan's conscience to show how far his personality has gone.
Contrasting Replacement Character: While Charlie was a lazy, self-centered womanizer, Walden is a romantic who is constantly seeking a life partner and is a lot more hardworking.
Chick Magnet: Seriously. Every girl on the show who has met him expressed attraction towards him in some way.
Deadpan Snarker: You'd have to be to put up with Alan.
Ditzy Genius: Started off in this zone, got better but still has the occasional moment.
Even the Guys Want Him: Alan didn't mind kissing him, the therapist questioned her orientation after his hug.
Flanderization: In Season 11, he starts to develop some shades of neediness, unable to sleep with a woman without declaring his love for her.
Five-Temperament Ensemble: Sanguine.
I Banged Your Mom: He had sex with Evelyn, despite Alan's warnings that she was a cougar.
Manchild: Originally, but his personality greatly matured during his time on the show.
Mistaken for Gay: It used to be a running gag, but was later upped to Once per Episode.
Mr. Fanservice: Walden is attractive and gets plenty of Fanservice scenes of his own, being a Home Nudist (with Shoulders-Up Nudity) and constantly getting a Shirtless Scene.
Nice Guy: Started off as an innocent, childlike decent guy. This started to disappear after he got his haircut and his personality began to change, though he's still nicer than most of the rest of the cast.
One-Hour Work Week: He is the head of a billion dollar company, yet seems to have tons of free time to hang out with the Harpers and is hardly ever shown working. Of course, this could be entirely because he's the head of a billion dollar company, meaning he's free to leave the day-to-day work to his employees, which is very much Truth in Television.
Only Sane Man: He is starting to become something like this in the beach house, in comparison to Alan, Jenny, and Berta.
Parenting the Husband: This situation is what led Bridget away.
Shameless Fanservice Guy: In his introduction episode, shows no shame when he gives a Naked First Impression to Berta and Judith. Neither of them mind.
Suicide by Sea: Attempted at the start of season 9, only to turn into a Bungled Suicide.
Suspiciously Similar Substitute: He is Charlie's official replacement, being the filthy-rich Chick Magnet who Alan lives with for free.
The Stoner: Even has a drawer containing pot hidden inside his nightstand.
Took a Level in Jerkass: Walden went from a childlike Nice Guy to this after he had his haircut. Once that happens, he appeared to show less respect for Alan.
Vitriolic Best Buds: In Season 9, he was sympathetic and generous to Alan, but by Season 10, he has discovered most of Alan's gnomish qualities and threatens to kick him out of the house multiple times. Regardless, he never does as he and Alan know that whatever happens, they can count on each other.

Recurring Characters

Herb Melnick

Played By: Ryan Stiles

Judith's second husband.

Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Despite being a popular character, Herb doesn’t make an appearance in the series finale, nor is there any mention of him. Given how the finale managed to get every other big side character Back for the Finale, his absence is pretty egregious in that regard.
Deadpan Snarker: You'd have to be to deal with Judith.
Gentle Giant: He's 6'6", and is easily nicer than the rest of the cast.
Henpecked Husband: Like Alan before him.
Love Martyr: Seriously. Herb has the patience to rival Buddha for being able to put with Judith. Until he cheats on her with his receptionist.
Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: His daughter Milly might not be his biological child, as she was conceived around the time he and Judith were separated and Judith slept with Alan. It's never been conclusively answered.
Nice Guy: He's the nicest and most normal guy on the show, though he does prove to not be so above it all on occasions.
Odd Friendship: With Alan, though it's more due to the situation (as Herb is the husband of Alan's ex-wife). Personality-wise, they're actually pretty similar. Maybe Judith Has a Type...
Stalker with a Crush: Towards Lyndsey. He finally gets to sleep with her in the last season.
Sympathetic Adulterer: No one can really blame him for cheating on Judith with his receptionist.

Mia Adams

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/two_and_a_half_men___mia__1__by_newyunggun_ddruyrn_fullview.jpg

Played By: Emmanuelle Vaugier

Charlie's first serious Love Interest in season 3 and eventual ex-fiance.

Excellent Judge of Character: She could tell Charlie was heartless The Casanova right upon their first interaction and completely No-Sell his attempts at seducing her. But she also noticed he was a Jerk with a Heart of Gold when she saw him interacting with Jake, and decided to give him a chance.
Flexibility Equals Sex Ability: The fact she's a fairly ballet dancer is one of the reasons Charlie is so attracted to her, and she's implied to live up to his expectations once they do start sleeping together.
Friend Versus Lover: What ultimately breaks up her and Charlie is her insistence that Alan moves out of the house. For extra Irony, Alan ends up marrying Kandi and moves out of Charlie's house anyways.
Head-Turning Beauty: She's a very attractive and fit woman, with Charlie being unable to look away from her when they first meet.
Hollywood Tone-Deaf: In season seven, she asks for Charlie's help in launching her singing career. But it turns out she's actually an extremely bad singer, and somehow is the only one who doesn't seem to notice it.
Hot Teacher: She's a very attractive ballet instructor, to the point Jake develops a Precocious Crush on her.
I Can Change My Beloved: She tries to be a good influence on Charlie and pushes for him to be a better person and drop some of his worst hobbies. She ultimately fails, as he was still doing them behind her back.
I Love You Because I Can't Control You: Her complete dismissal of his attempt at seducing her only makes Charlie more interested in her.
Love Interest: Outside of Chelsea, she's the only woman whom Charlie seriously dated, to the point they almost married.
New Old Flame: She shows up in season seven to try to seduce Charlie while he's with Chelsea, but he refuses to cheat.
The One That Got Away: She was often seen as "too good for Charlie" and he frequently bemoans things not working out with her.
Single Woman Seeks Good Man: She's actually immune to Charlie's charms, and is attracted to him due to his Hidden Heart of Gold.
Straw Vegetarian: Of all the things she tried to change in Charlie, getting him to quit eating meat is the least sympathetic, as she's portrayed more as self-righteous and nagging.
Took a Level in Jerkass: She is portrayed as a somewhat moral, if self-righteous, woman in season 3. But in her appearances in later seasons have her trying to seduce Charlie, despite her knowing he's with Chelsea, and acts spitefully when he rejects her. During his funeral, she is also one of the women who show disdain towards him.
Wet Blanket Wife: She's constantly encouraging Charlie to lead a healthier life and to drop his worst habits, such as smoking, drinking, and gambling. While her intentions were good, she's portrayed as nagging and too controlling for wanting to change him so much in so little time.
What Does She See in Him?: Several characters are weirded out at her attempts at having a serious relationship with Charlie, seeing them as very incompatible.
Mia: Charlie, listen to me. I love you, not your money or car or your house or your skills in bed.
Charlie: What's left!?

Courtney Leopold

Courtney Leopold/Sylvia Fishman

Played By: Jenny McCarthy

Con Artist: She and her "father" Teddy (real name Nathan Krunk) had a history of scamming people. She has scammed Charlie out of tens of thousands of dollars on multiple occasions.
Gold Digger: She uses rich men for money and sex without remorse.
Jerkass: She's a con artist and scammed Charlie into buying a Ferrari and then scammed him personally out of fifty thousand dollars before getting arrested and then showed up at his house to use him for sex and money and then starts using Walden for sex and money until Walden's ex-wife bribes her to leave him alone.
Jerkass Has a Point: She comments to Alan that he has no place calling her out on being a gold digger using Walden when he's using Walden for his money too and she's kind of right. The only difference is that Courtney's having sex with him and Alan isn't.
- Though Alan isn't asking Walden for expensive things or huge sums of money, just to live rent free in his expensive house, and food and utilities.
Karma Houdini: She got away with scamming Charlie and Walden for money without remorse.
Manipulative Bitch: She's very good at it, given how successful she is at being a Gold Digger. She successfully manipulated Charlie into bed and blackmailed him into buying a Ferrari or have their sexual liaison exposed to Evelyn and Teddy.
Only Known by Their Nickname: Her real name is Sylvia Fishman, but the cast continue to refer to her as Courtney even after learning her true identity and she never bothers to correct them.

Dr. Linda Freeman

Played By: Jane Lynch

Ambiguously Bi: She never has a boyfriend (or any date romantically) on-screen. Less ambiguous when she thinks maybe she's not gay after hugging Warden.
Deadpan Snarker: In between giving helpful advice that Charlie rarely ever listened to and once assured Charlie the sarcasm is a flat rate.
Everyone Has Standards:
- She was horrified when she heard Charlie's plan to have a therapist so he could cop an insanity plea just in case he snapped and killed Alan.
- She was incredibly shocked and kind of disgusted when she heard Charlie's idea of being truly intimate with a woman is not using a condom.
Only Sane Man: Despite the sarcasm, she's a smart and competent therapist who gives really helpful advice that would benefit Charlie's life if he actually listened to her.

Gordon

Played By: J. D. Walsh

Butt-Monkey: Offscreen, his life may be just as bad as Alan's: He was only a substitute for Charlie when he was dating Rose, and mentioned in an episode that he got a decent job as well as a wife within a 2-year radius, only for all of that to leave him. He's also envious of Charlie's lifestyle and easygoing demeanor, calling him a "genius."
Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Disappeared after Season 8.
Hint Dropping: He actually stumbled onto the full truth of Rose's fake husband "Manny Quinn" ploy. He tried to break the news to Charlie with hints over the obvious pun, but Charlie didn't pick up on any of them, despite increasing emphasis on the name. Gordon leaves wondering why he's delivering pizzas while someone as oblivious as Charlie lives in the fancy beach house.

Russell

Played By: Martin Mull

Catchphrase: "What are you, a cop?" whenever someone questions something he's doing morality wise.
Cloudcuckoolander: He can go off on some really bizarre tangents; justified since he's a hard drug user.
The Stoner: Misuses all of the pharmaceuticals in his midst to outrageous extremes.

Lyndsey MacElroy

Played By: Courtney Thorne-Smith

The Alcoholic: Naturally, like Charlie, her drinking habits have been toned up over time. In season 12, she goes to rehab and quits drinking entirely.
Compressed Vice: Portrayed as an out-of-control alcoholic in "Not in My Mouth!", with no previous indications of a drinking problem. Her alcohol issues appeared inconsistently in the following episodes. Eventually, she was flanderized into a raging alcoholic, before going sober in season 12.
Clingy Jealous Girl: Somewhat hypocritically for Alan. While she at one point has Alan become her lover she is also in a committed relationship with Larry. Alan considers the situation purely sexual and is interested in pursuing other women which Lyndsey is deeply upset by. Later when Alan "marries" Walden, Lyndsey relapses in a jealous rage that Alan married someone prettier than her.
Dark Secret: Her past job as a one-time porn actress was treated like this by Alan.
Derailing Love Interests: In season 11, when Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen who is just like him, Lyndsey is turned into a pathetic drunk who's obsessed with Alan, though earlier she was just barely tolerating him. In season 12, after Gretchen leaves Alan, Lyndsey reverts to her former self.
Flanderization: Goes from being a genuinely kindred Broken Bird spirit into a bitchy alcoholic.
Gasshole: One reason that she likes Alan is because she can fart with him around, and he won't leave her, because he won't be able to find anyone better.
Gold Digger: While not nearly as bad as all the other women in the series, in the series finale she went to a pawm shop to see how much her engagement ring from Alan was worth! Though it is probably unlikely she actually pawned it.
Hate Sink: In the Walden-years she's devolved into a hypocritical, selfish, borderline abusive parent and treats Alan as less than dirt, outright telling him her only interest in him is knowing he can't get anyone better and thus won't dump her no matter how boorish she behaves.
I Was Young and Needed the Money: Her explanation for appearing in a porn movie.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She had her many bitch moments, but for the most part is usually sweet and understanding towards those she cares about.
Just Friends: With Charlie, despite what Alan thought.
Ms. Fanservice: In Universe, Herb finds her merely being his neighbor very distracting.
Really Gets Around: Lyndsey has had sex with more women than men. She cheated on Alan with Kandi and to fool her boyfriend Larry she had sex with Jenny. During their on and off relationship, she cheated on Alan multiple times, with Kandi.
Relationship Revolving Door: Dated Alan consistently in season 8 until she left him for her ex-husband, then they got together again briefly and broke up due to Alan's paranoia that she was sleeping with Charlie. They got back together in Season 9 because she can fart like crazy and he won't leave her. They were engaged in Season 10 and then they broke up, seemingly for good. However, in the second episode of Season 11 she began sleeping with Alan again, but they are not in a relationship, as she has a boyfriend, Larry. Alan eventually wanted to restart their relationship and planned on proposing to her, but Larry did it before he could. After that, Lyndsey stopped sleeping with Alan. Later, she tried to restart the affair, but by then, Alan was dating Larry's sister, so he rejected Lyndsey. In season 12, when Alan is single again, they make yet another attempt to renew their relationship, which results in Alan proposing to her, and Lyndsey enthusiastically saying yes after seeing the ring. The series finale shows her attempting to find out its value (and presumably) pawn it, leaving the question open-ended as to whether she and Alan stayed together or not.
Took a Level in Jerkass: At first she was perfectly nice to Alan and seemed to genuinely love him. Then he accidentally burnt her house down and her behavior just became worse and worse. Granted, he burned her house down.

Eldridge MacElroy

Played By: Graham Patrick Martin

Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Never seen or mentioned after the Season 9 finale.
Dumb Blonde: He's even dumber than Jake is. Jake even points it out.
Jerkass: Is incredibly disrespectful to his mother and Alan. Probably justified in that Alan destroyed his house and his mother is a sexually loose alcoholic.
Literal-Minded: Perhaps even more so than Jake.
Put on a Bus: He joined to the military along with Jake at the season 9 finale, and hasn't been seen after that.
Satellite Character: His only defining character traits are being Lyndsey's son and Jake's friend.
Those Two Guys: With Jake.
The Stoner: Combine this with being an idiot and that's his character in a nutshell.
Toxic Friend Influence: He's definitely rubbed off on Jake for the worst.

Larry

Played By: D.B. Sweeney

Beware the Nice Ones: He was content with Alan having dated Lyndsey, but when Walden accidentally brought up that Alan was sleeping with Lyndsey while she was dating him...
Crazy Jealous Guy: To the point where he hires a private investigator (who turns out to be Rose) to get the scoop on the guy Lyndsey's been cheating on him with (unaware that it's his new best friend, "Jeff"). He thinks it's Walden, though.
The Ditz: He's not bright.
Easily Forgiven: Returns in Season 12 as a close friend of both Alan and Walden, so he apparently did forgive Alan.
Flanderization: He starts off as being too naïve to pick up on the fact that Alan and Lyndsey were cheating behind his back; then, he's suddenly a full-fledged Ditz who isn't bright in the least.
Lousy Lovers Are Losers: He's incredibly bad at sex, which is why Lyndsey is sleeping with Alan.
My Sister Is Off-Limits: Inverted: He's delighted to find out that Alan has been sleeping with his sister.
Nice Guy: Treated Alan the nicest out of everybody on the show, despite only being around for a few episodes.

Characters / Two and a Half Men

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