This page is for the characters that are (or formerly were) members of the football team of the Overland Park Grizzlies.
NOTE: Since this is an ongoing series, the original line-ups for the groups on the separate pages have been used for the character pages to avoid confusion for newcomers.
In general
STATE! STATE! STATE!
- Big Eater: They go to the Pizza Street buffet every Friday. In one of the 360 videos, they take literally all of the food.
- Catchphrase: "STATE! STATE! STATE!"
- Good Counterpart: To the Cheer Squad. The cheerleaders are cruel, bitchy, and constantly engaged in some kind of conflict, either with an enemy or with each other. They also once ripped a girl's arms off in their relentless pursuit of popularity. The equally popular football team, however, are basically nice to everyone (except Than), and support each other at all times. In season 3, Tanner even gives a speech about how much he values his teammates, which is something we've never really seen Mackenzie do.
- Lovable Jock: All of them. Some are smarter than others, but there's not one Jerk Jock among them.
- Pretty Boy: All of them, but mostly Tanner.
- Sixth Ranger: During Season 3, they invite Deandra and (reluctantly) Than after Justin quits to pursue a hipster lifestyle. Despite having a generally good time being there, getting good scholarships and winning the State Championship, its implied that Deandra quits for her (short-lived) singing career and Than quits to chooses the life he wants in Season 4.
- True Companions: Out of all the friendships on the show, theirs is easily the most loyal, closest, and happiest.
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Matthew Derringer
Was that the goddamn baby?!
Voiced by: Dave Hill
Trisha Cappelletti's boyfriend.
- All Men Are Perverts: While he's of the chivalrous variety, he almost explodes in joy when he thinks the Trishas want to have a threesome with him.
- Barbie Doll Anatomy: Literally: he has no penis or testicles thanks to a birth defect (seriously).
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: Parodied. In the third grade, Brittnay started beating him up for making Shay partially deaf, but when the camera goes back on them, they are making out.
- Body Horror. He doesn't have a genitalia. One wonder how he has to go to the bathroom...
- Childhood Friends: With Tanner and Than.
- Cold Ham: He can be extremely over-the-top, while maintaining his cool-headed personality. Especially as a child.
- Kid A Nova: He was Sophisticated as Hell as a third grader when speaking to the girls, and even managed to make out with Brittnay.
- Leeroy Jenkins: When he unleashes the fury of his Ryan Cabrera promotional hackysack.
- Never Heard That One Before: Each time someone points out his lack of genitals.
- Nice Guy: He's very reasonable, polite, and loyal to his friends and girlfriend.
- Not So Above It All: As respectful and reasonable he is, he still showcases at moments that he's still a teenager, especially in Season 5. First he gets totally drunk off his ass (and gets sick the next day due to a hangover), and he seems ecstatic about having a threesome with the Trishas.
- Official Couple: With Trisha Cappelletti.
- Only Sane Man: Along with Tanner. However, due to the legal drinking age in France being 16 and having fantasies of a threesome with both Trishas, he turns out to be Not So Above It All.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The former Blue to Tanner's former Red.
- Rule of Funny: He has the deepest voice of the male cast, yet doesn't have the testicles to produce the testosterone he needs for that.
- Sophisticated as Hell: He's got a gift for words, especially in the third grade Whole Episode Flashback.
- Team Dad: Of the football team, if his interactions with the soon-to-be father Blaine and the Daddy Issues-rifed Justin are anything to go by. In one of the Extra Credits, there's even a line saying he agreed to be Blaine's child's godfather. He was also very kind to Tanner when the latter was dumped by his boyfriend.
- A Threesome Is Hot: When he thinks the Trishas want to do a threesome with him, Matthew is seen to be the happiest and most excited (in both senses of the term) in the series. Unfortunately, the Trishas meant swimming in the deep end of the pool.
- Token Minority: The only (at least introduced) black member of the football team.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Accidentally causes Shay's half-deafness and her unable to become Head Cheerleader in the Third Grade thanks to him throwing a hacky sack.
- Vocal Dissonance: He had a deep voice even as a kid, which he ironically couldn't have since he doesn't have the sex organs to produce the testosterone to make it that deep. It's mainly justified through the Rule of Funny.
- Youthful Freckles: Had them as a kid, but he grew out of them.
Tanner Christiansen
Oh Blaine you beautiful idiot.
Voiced by: Pete Capella, Josh Fingerhut (young)
The quarterback of the football team.
- Accidental Adultery: A plot point in Season 5. After drinking too much in France (due to the legal drinking age being 16), Tanner wakes up in Than's bed and is horrified when he realizes he cheated on Tristan in the process. Although it's eventually subverted, as Than explains that Tanner peed his pants that night and he let him stay in his room (because he locked himself out of his own), and thus they didn't have sex with him because he was too drunk to have given consent
- All Gays are Promiscuous: Implied. Tanner himself acts normal in public, (See Straight Gay) below) but is in a monogamous relationship with Tristan, who claims he's constantly getting laid. Unless he's a massive Hypocrite, there's no one else Tristan would be having all this sex with.
- Brutal Honesty: He tells it like it is, with very little regard for tact.
- Childhood Friends: With Matthew and Than.
- Deadpan Snarker: Sarcasm is his main means of survival, which is understandable considering he's usually caught in the middle of whatever idiocy Than is causing.
- Defrosting Ice King: For two seasons and a half, Tanner absolutely cannot stand Than due to his perverted tendencies (most of them aimed at him). But when Than joins the football team as Justin's replacement, Tanner warms up to him and the two eventually become good friends (Than even toning down his obvious sexual attraction to Tanner).
- Elmuh Fudd Syndwome: In the Third Grade.
- First-Name Ultimatum: "JONATHAN!"
- Gay Best Friend: To Matthew.
- My God, What Have I Done?: When he wakes up in Than's bed after drinking too much the previous night, Tanner calls himself a horrible person for cheating on Tristan. It's eventually revealed he and Than didn't have sex that night.
- Nice Guy: He's blunt and sarcastic, but never malicious, and is quite friendly to almost everyone (besides Than, at least for the first three seasons.)
- Official Couple: With Tristan.
- Only Sane Man: Along with Matthew. However, due to the legal drinking age in France being 16, he turns out to be Not So Above It All.
- The Quarterback: The nice, openly gay and reasonable quarterback of the football team.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Blue to Tristan's and Than's Reds, and the former Red to Matthew's Blue.
- Straight Gay: He's gay, but has no stereotypical qualities whatsoever. (Leave that to his boyfriend.)
- Tsundere: A Type B male example. He's usually a dere around his friends and boyfriend, and most of his tsun is reserved at Than's expense, before he eventually grows to see him as a friend mid-Season 3.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: To a lesser extent than Matthew above, but he too accidentally causes Shay's half-deafness and her unable to become Head Cheerleader in the Third Grade thanks to Matthew directing a hacky sack towards him.
- Vocal Evolution: Had a bit of a Simpleton Voice in Episode 4.
- Youthful Freckles: Had them when he was a child, but like Matthew, he grew out of it.
Justin Michaelson
Tanner: Blaine, serious talk right now. Having a child is a huge responsibly.
Justin: Yeah, unless of course you move to Pittsburgh with your receptionist on your son's fourth birthday!
Voiced by: Brian Konowal
Ashley Katchadourian's boyfriend.
- Berserk Button: Any mention of his father is bound to get him riled up, to the point where Trisha's first piece of advice to Ashley re: dating Justin was, "Don't bring up his father." Actually, bad parenting in general.
- Chick Magnet: Every girl at Overland Park seems to want a piece of him for some reason.
- Daddy Issues: Just see the above quote.
- Disappeared Dad: ...Yeah.
- Flat Character: Only because out of the football team, he has the least amount of screentime and not much depth in characterization in spite of daddy issues, loving to wear hats, and being a compulsive cheater.
- Freudian Excuse: His infidelity to Ashley can only be explained by his Daddy Issues. The fact his father left on his fourth birthday doesn't help him much either.
- Hammerspace: His hat gets destroyed? He pulls a second hat out of nowhere!
- Heel–Face Revolving Door: He quits the football team and becomes a hipster on Jenna Darabond's orders, but after a discussion on it with Matthew Derringer, it's clear Justin still considers the guys his friends. Much later, he rejoins the team after breaking up with Jenna and helps them win the championship.
- Hypocrite:
- He was pissed at Jenna for making out with Than, despite him being a compulsive cheater himself. Of course, he may have just been angry because it's Than.
- He's angry at his father for running away with his secretary (implying to have cheated on his mom in the process), yet he's shown more than once that loyalty towards his girlfriend is not what he's best at.
- Idiot Ball: Keeping his hat on to stand out from the others costs his disqualification from the swimsuit competition, which results to Mackenzie blowing up at him and destroying his hat.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: His only main flaw is his incapacity to remain loyal to his girlfriends, otherwise he's devoted to his friends.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He breaks up with Jenna Darabond because he's tired of her hypocritical notions of loving Justin but never spending time with him unless he's doing something for her, and calls her out on being a manipulative and psychotic bitch.
Blaine McClaine
Oh, nine months?! That's like two years!
Voiced by: Carlo Moss
Britney's ex-boyfriend and Saison's boyfriend.
- Berserk Button: Oisin McGrann's sole existence is this to him, although justified because Oisin openly taunted him on live television.
- Beware the Nice Ones: He's a Kindhearted Simpleton, but when you push the wrong buttons, he becomes very aggressive.
- Bumbling Dad: Towards he and Saison's daughter.
- Comically Missing the Point: He was once planning to tell his coach that he'll be stepping out of the football team because Saison is pregnant. He still got nine months back then.
- The Ditz: He makes the Trishas look like geniuses!
- Domestic Abuser: Averted on all accounts even when he had the pleasure of having his way with Saison unprotected and predictably, getting her pregnant.
- Doting Parent: Even before his "son"—actually, daughter—is born.
- Dumb Blond: He's blond and not the brightest bulb.
- Dumb Is Good: Not so smart, but not very mean either.
- Dumb Jock: Wow, that's like, three "Dumbs" in a row.
- Good Parents: To his daughter, if a bit bumbling.
- Iconic Item: His "shark tooth" necklace.
- Kindhearted Simpleton: He's a total ditz, but he's also a Lovable Jock, a good boyfriend to Saison (also one to Brittnay when they were dating), and a good father to his daughter.
- Nice Guy: He's a complete dimwit, yet he doesn't have a mean bone in his body.
- Official Couple: With Saison.
- Only One Name: Finally subverted in Episode 76, where his last name is revealed to be McClaine.
- On the Rebound: Parodied. Brittnay breaks up with him for not liking the same shows as she does, and right afterwards without a bother asks Saison out on a date. Both are still dating throughout the show.
- Simpleton Voice: His voice is rather deep and dopey-sounding, which fits him.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: He's normally the Precision F-Strike variety, but when you piss him off, he spurts profanities between each word.
