Characters / Sword Art Online Abridged - Season One Characters

Main Page | Major Characters | Introduced in Season 1 | Introduced in Season 2 | Antagonists

For the original series, see here.

SAO Player Base

General

So... you want us to beat an MMO?!

SAO's player base, forced to fight for their lives in a game they can no longer log out of. Or as Kirito puts it, "a bunch of mouth-breathing neckbeards who think 'LMAO' is how French people laugh."

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• Ax-Crazy: While they're luckily a Vocal Minority In-Universe, a worrying number of them take the side of psychopathic monsters such as The King of Ashes and take advantage of the game's lack of authority to partake in Rape, Pillage, and Burn. It gets so bad that Kayaba has to spend most of his time as Heathcliff trying to quell these rebellions.
• Big "WHAT?!": Or, rather, an exaggerated Flat "What" said by one player in particular in the start of the series when Kayaba traps everyone in the game. Hilariously, he's credited as "Al, from ReBoot" in the closed captions. He returns as part of Heathcliff/Kayaba's raid party in Episode 11...with the exact same word to say.
  Al: WHAT?!
• Cowardly Lion: Despite their generally childish and cowardly demeanor, many still willingly participate in Floor raids instead of hiding in safe zones, something Kirito commends them for.
• Dysfunction Junction: Kayaba points out that they adamantly refuse to work together to survive the MMO, despite being in a life-or-death situation and having a common enemy in the 100 Floor Bosses. This gets worse as the years pass, with many of them losing their mind and joining Player Killing guilds such as Fluffles' mafia, Titan's Hand Laughing Coffin, and The King of Ashes' raiders.
• Driven to Suicide: At least one jumped off the edge of Aincrad after giving in to despair, as Yui is Forced to Watch.
• Dumbass Has a Point: Many didn't read the manual, but given how uncreative and stupid so many of them are, they probably would have uncritically followed its bad advice.
• G.I.R.L.: At least one of them donned a female avatar and tried to hook up with a guy who claimed to be 17. They continue their relationship even after their true identities are revealed.
• Leeroy Jenkins: Their preferred strategy, and at least one player died screaming this exact phrase.
• Man on Fire: According to the in-game narrator, one of them was apparently killed for "standing in fire" for too long.
• Oh, Crap!: A collective one when Kayaba informs them of their predicament in Episode 1.
• Precision F-Strike: One of them lets out the first F-bomb of the series after Kayaba disables the profanity filter.
  Player: We're fucked!!
• Redshirt Army: Many, many casualties stem from their Leeroy Jenkins approach to things.
• Right for the Wrong Reasons: Heathcliff gets upset that the SAO players keep blaming him for when things go wrong after they ignore his tactics and strategies, but unbeknownst to them, he is actually Kayaba Akihiko, i.e.: the guy that trapped them in the game in the first place. When Kayaba gets outed and starts ranting about the self-destructive foolishness of the players and his frustration at getting blamed for all of their problems, one mafioso player points out that they're technically right. Kayaba kills him in response.
• Sanity Slippage: Most of them were likely normal people eager to try out the newest MMO, only to find themselves trapped in a hellish Deadly Game which is soon revealed to be riddled with glitches and terrible design choices that make their experience even harder and more up to luck than anything else. By Episode 11, there's hardly anyone left who hasn't lost their marbles. While this doesn't justify killing other players or joining The Mafia, the situation they're in would take a toll on anyone's sanity.
• Surrounded by Idiots: The idiots in question.
• Too Dumb to Live: Many barely understand strategy beyond "Group up and hit it until it dies". Lampshaded by Heathcliff in Episode 11.
  Heathcliff: I tried, you know. Lord knows I tried. But there's just no helping you people. It's like you crave death. But not just any death, nooooooo! You fuckers seem to have some kind of pool going to see who can end their existence in the dumbest, most avoidable way possible. And you just keep one-upping each other!
• Viewers Are Goldfish: In-Universe. In Episode 2, their attention span is so limited that they seem to have literally forgotten about everything Diabel had told them during the first meeting, even though their lives are on the line.
  Heathcliff: (after a Too Dumb to Live player attacks him) Now, I trust that the rest of you good people have enough pattern recognition not to follow in this man's footsteps. Oh, wait, no, that's goldfish. I'm thinking of goldfish! Yeah, better play it safe. [paralyzes everyone]
• Zerg Rush: And apparently the only strategy the players of SAO are capable of. Kayaba certainly wouldn't put it past them.

Friends and Allies

Klein / BallsDeep69

"My name is Klein!"

Voiced by: Jragoswinn (Episode 1-3), Anthony "Dizzasta" DiMascio (Episode 5-11)

A player who has the unfortunate screen name of "BallsDeep69" and the even more unfortunate role of being Kirito's "friend." He tries to help Kirito open up to others and become a better person but usually fails.

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• Adaptational Comic Relief: Inverted. Klein is one of the few characters played more seriously than he is in canon, aside from the joke about his name.
• Adaptation Name Change: In the original, he was named Tsuboi Ryoutarou and his screen name was Klein. Here, Klein appears to be his real name, while his screen name is Ballsdeep69.
• Adaptational Nice Guy: Klein's Chivalrous Pervert side is mostly dropped in favor of being an Only Sane Man and Morality Pet to Kirito.
• Adaptational Wimp: In this version, he doesn't get to defeat the boar in the beginning, since Kirito wasn't actually interested in teaching him. Most of his achievements in the original anime are also Adapted Out. That being said, he and his friends are able to fend off a horde of mobsters and survive, and he himself is recognized by them as the "Legendary BallsDeep69".
• "Balls" Gag: His entire existence becomes this after being trapped in SAO, due to his Embarrassing Nickname. Luckily, it dies down in Episode 8.
• Brutal Honesty: Both in Episode 1.
  • After being trapped in the game, he makes it clear that he thinks Kirito is "the most unbearable asshole [he]'s ever met". This affects the latter more than he would've ever imagined.
  • Before that, he snappily remarks that Kirito likely gets bullied IRL after the latter is done making fun of him.
• Butt-Monkey: He's introduced getting kicked in the groin by a pig, and it all gets worse from there. Most of his screentime involves Kirito taunting him.
• The Cameo: Shows up at the end of the “Kirito is Always Right Foundation promotional video, as the implied cameraman, worried when Asuna knocks Kirito out for skipping a raid.
• Catchphrase: "My name is Klein!" He says it so often his guild thinks it's how he greets people.
• The Conscience: Acts as this to Kirito, to an extent. He wasn't as efficient as Sachi, though.
• Dude, Not Funny!: He's angry when Kirito makes a forced pun about the death of Corvatz.
• Dumb Is Good: He's not exactly dumb (especially when compared when the other players), but he's clueless enough to believe you can remove your NerveGear headset while in-game, but he's also one of the kindest people in the series.
• Embarrassing Nickname: In his defense, he claims that this was supposed to be a test character that he was just fooling around with before he would create his main.
• Enemy Mine: Downplayed as they weren't exactly enemies then, but after being trapped in SAO, Klein offers Kirito a place in his guild despite the latter having spent most of the day making fun of him, knowing they're stronger together. Kirito refuses.
• Fire-Forged Friends:
  • Kirito is introduced taunting him for not being able to kill a pig with a rock. However, their adventures while being trapped in SAO eventually lead them to form a close bond.
  • With Tiffany as well, though we only see its aftermath in Episode 11, much to Kirito's confusion.
• Foil: He's the anti-Kirito in many ways, as shown during their first scene:
  • Kirito is a ridiculously skilled player who looks down on those who are weaker than him, on top of being Misanthrope Supreme and The Gadfly; while Klein is a noob who, nevertheless, never loses hope on humanity, no matter how mean or stupid the player base is, on top of being the Straight Man to his antics.
  • Kirito hates showing his vulnerable side and often copes with his insecurities while mocking those of his peers. Klein, however, is unashamed about being Prone to Tears and doesn't seem to care much about his image.
  • Klein's tongue is almost as sharp as Kirito's, but unlike the latter (who openly mocks others for fun without any prompting or regard for their feelings), Klein only uses his witty streak to respond to insults, and even apologized once when one of his comments came off as too insensitive.
• Good Samaritan: In Episode 7, while Kirito distracts The Gleam Eyes, Klein and his guild rescue Corvatz's men from the dungeon they're trapped in.
• The Heart: Tends to be this when he shows up.
• Heroic BSoD: Has one in Episode 3 after Kirito crosses the Despair Event Horizon and has all his Character Development stripped away.
• Hero of Another Story: Don Fluffles's men refer to him as "the legendary warrior, BallsDeep69," while he and Tiffany evidently had quite an adventure fighting chimeras to get a new weapon. Kirito has trouble believing that they have a life outside of their interactions with him.
• The Idealist: Unlike Kirito and Tiffany, he never gave up hope on the SAO player base, and fought to the nail to set himself and everyone free.
• Inelegant Blubbering: Is reduced to this before Kirito's final duel with Heathcliff, when Kirito tells him he's always regretted not joining his guild and that it would have been fun.
• Innocently Insensitive: In episode 8, he cracks a joke about Kirito's friends dying again. He immediately retracts and apologizes when he realizes how dark it was.
• LOL, 69: Part of the reason for his screen name. He probably doesn't find it as funny anymore, though.
• Morality Chain: You wouldn't believe it at first, but in Episode 11, Kirito admits it was Klein's influence that triggered his Jerkass Realization.
• Nice Guy: Have to give the guy credit, he actually tries to be a supporting friend for Kirito. It's a lot harder than it sounds.
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: In Episode 3, Klein and his guild manage to fend off a huge force of mobsters, but we only see them resting in the aftermath.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: Klein. Justified because his character's name is rather embarrassing. Ironically, he becomes "Only Known by Their Embarrassing Nametag" In-Universe, as even his own guild know him only as BallsDeep69 or simply "Balls". Luckily, Kirito ends this trend in Episode 8.
• Only Sane Man: Among Kirito and Asuna, he's the one who tries to see reasoning the most and tries to be a bit of a Morality Chain for the former.
• Positive Friend Influence: While it took him a while, he managed to successfully inspire Kirito to listen to his hidden desire to help others and to quit being such an asshole.
• Prone to Tears: Unlike Kirito, he has no problem crying in public, and this trait of his becomes so prevalent that Kirito's final goodbye to him in Episode 11 after his final tantrum is "“Bleh plah bleh” indeed, buddy. “Bleh plah bleh” indeed".
• Running Gagged: After Kirito finally calls him "Klein" again, the "Balls" Gag disappears entirely, much to Klein's relief.
• Satellite Character: While he does have a life outside of Kirito, the same can't be said for his screentime.
• Straight Man: Other than his nickname, he's the serious foil for Kirito's antics.
• Swapped Roles: He and Kirito have swapped places compared to their canon counterparts. Now Kirito is the comic relief, while Klein is the mature Straight Man.
• Tears of Joy: He breaks down then he realizes his words to Kirito about the value of having friends actually had an impact. He becomes outright incoherent when Kirito expresses regret over not joining his guild.
• Throw the Dog a Bone:
  • It takes two years, but Kirito finally calls him "Klein" again in Episode 8. This time, it sticks.
  • In episode 11, Kirito calls him "a good friend" and thanks him for being The Conscience to him, on top of apologizing for not staying with him on day 1. This causes Klein to cry Tears of Joy.
• Took a Level in Badass: He goes from not even finishing off the boar in the beginning to defeating a group of mafia players with his own guild.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Nice as he may be to Kirito, he is completely aware of how much an asshole Kirito is from the moment they meet, and won't hesitate to point that out.
• Worthy Opponent: In the third episode, Don Fluffles's mafia considers him one for keeping them from killing Kirito.
• Yank the Dog's Chain: In Episode 3, Kirito finally calls him by his given name instead of his Embarrassing Nickname after Klein offers to Hold the Line while Kirito goes to revive his guild. When the mission ends up being a "Shaggy Dog" Story, Kirito crosses the Despair Event Horizon and, after vowing to Never Be Hurt Again by erasing all his attachments, calls Klein "Balls" again, reducing the latter to tears.
• You Called Me "X"; It Must Be Serious: In moments of emotional significance for Kirito, he calls Klein by his canon name rather than "Balls". The most notable example is during Kirito's heroic speech to Heathcliff before their Final Battle, where he shows just how far he's come as a character and a person.

Tiffany

"Handin' the black man a murder weapon, a tale as old as time."

Voiced by: Jragoswinn (Episode 2), Alexander "Octopimp" Gross (Episode 5+)

Kibaou: I don't know how to talk to you...
Tiffany: Good, then maybe you'll shut up and listen.

A black player who operates under a girl's name for reasons unknown. He initially wanted to help his fellow players get out of the game, but upon realizing just how stupid they are, he became a vendor selling overpriced and faulty weapons to the idiots. He has an uneasy relationship with Asuna due to her unintentional racism in her attempts to get along with him.

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• Accidental Hero: One of the people he scammed was Johnny Black, a vindictive member of the laughing coffin guild who kills other players for fun and profit. While it's not clear whether Tiffany knew of Johnny's actions, he more than likely saved someone's life by selling him a crappy dagger that broke almost instantly.
• Adaptational Jerkass: In the original, he was an Uncle Pennybags who used the profits from his store to help lower-level players. In this, he's a Con Man who takes advantage of the idiotic player base. He did start off trying to help people, but realized most of the people there were Too Dumb to Live.
• Adaptation Name Change: His canon gamer name was Agil, which he never gets referred to as in this series.
• Anti-Hero: Starts off as a regular hero, with traces of The Leader, but gradually becomes a Pragmatic Hero after losing hope in the SAO players, becoming a Con Man with no patience for stupidity who only helps out his closest friends.
• Arch-Enemy: To Laughing Coffin, whom he scammed at least once before Episode 9, earning him a special spot in their list of nuisances (complete with Flipping the Bird).
• The Bartender: He is one IRL, although his bar could use a visit from the health department.
• The Big Guy: The rare times he's in combat. He's intimidating enough to make Kibaou back down.
• Con Man: Intentionally sells broken or otherwise useless equipment to other players in the game, something Laughing Coffin's ads lampshade.
• Crippling Overspecialization: Laments this after seeing the Skull Reaper kill two players in one hit.
  Tiffany: WHY DID I PUT ALL MY POINTS INTO BARTERING?
• Cynicism Catalyst: It doesn't drive him to suicide like Diabel, but he loses all faith in the SAO player base in Episode 2 after it becomes clear that they're not taking the game seriously. The next time we see him, he's making a living out of scamming them.
• Embarrassing Nickname: Defied in that he doesn't seem the least bit embarrassed about going by "Tiffany", which he himself says is a girl's name when Kibaou tries to cover for him. No specific reason has been given, so it's not known if it was because his original character model was playing up the G.I.R.L. trope, he logged into his wife's account, or if he just chose it because it amused him. He doesn't mind but does like using it to confuse the hell out of others so that he can gain the floor to talk. In Episode 13, he's still referred to as "Tiff" by Kirito in real life and doesn't seem bothered by it. Since he isn't seen interacting with anyone else IRL, it's not made clear if he's going by it now or if the nickname is only reserved to Kirito.
• Enraged by Idiocy: Because of this trope, he's quick to give up on the player base after 30 seconds of dealing with them. He also grows a fast disliking of Asuna after her disastrous attempt to communicate with him. To be fair, he does try to give the latter the benefit of the doubt at first, only for her to repeatedly double down, prompting him to give up.
• Extreme Doormat: Subverted, as seen in Enraged by Idiocy, but he does have more patience than the average guy, and you can't say he doesn't give second chances. Kirito even notes in Episode 13 that he's the only person who can take his tantrum in stride. Being a bar owner IRL, this makes sense, as he's probably used to these types of visits.
• Fire-Forged Friends: With both Kirito and Klein, although we only see the climax of the latter, much to Kirito's confusion.
• Foil: To Klein, another Vitrolic Best Bud of Kirito.
  • They're both mid-tier SAO players who chose some rather odd screen names and were forced to live with them while being trapped in the game, but even after the stakes get raised, Tiffany encouraged other people to use his, despite going by many other (much more badass) names. Klein, on the other hand, chose Ballsdeep69 as a joke name to fool around while he got the hang of the game, and hated being stuck with it.
  • Klein was The Idealist who always held hope in Kirito and the SAO players, and even spread said hope to his friends; while Tiffany lost hope in most of his peers after one day of dealing with their antics, and eventually resorted to scamming them out of their items due to pure spite. Furthermore, Tiffany was quick to develop a barely concealed disdain for Asuna after one too many unintentionally racist remarks, while Klein continued to be friends with Kirito despite months of being the butt of many of his jokes.
• Honest John's Dealership: His main income comes from tricking other players into buying shoddy equipment at outrageously inflated prices.
• Hero of Another Story: He had an off-screen adventure with Klein where they fought chimeras and acquired a rare item. Kirito expresses disbelief at this, prompting them to scold him for not knowing they had lives outside of him.
• Hypocrite: He lambastes everyone for not reading the manual, but if he had read it, he'd have probably realized it's full of bad advice.
• I Have Many Names: "Mountain Slayer." "Thunder Lion." "The Chocolate Axe." But you? You may call him... Tiffany.
  Diabel: So, as Mr. Thunderchocolate was saying...
• Kick the Dog: Despite him encouraging Kirito to rescue Asuna from ALfheim, he doesn't even try to hide how little he cares about her safety, telling Kirito to only save her "if there's time".
• Nice Guy: Cons excluded, (and really, it's the player's own fault for falling for it at this point) he's a decent guy. Kirito even notes that the only reason he goes off on him is because Tiffany is nice enough to bear it.
• No Escape but Down: His "shortcut" to escape Asuna involves throwing himself (and Lizbeth) out of the window of his own bar.
• No Sympathy: Though he still encoutages Kirito to save Asuna, he's not subtle about his feelings on the matter.
• Only Sane Man: Well, aside from being named Tiffany, he's one of the few that tries to maintain some semblance of order amongst the many noobs in the game.
• Pet the Dog: On occasion.
  • He may be a con artist, but he had the decency to help Lizbeth escape from his shop when Asuna showed up. That and he's terrified of Asuna's wrath too.
  • In Episode 13, he encourages Kirito to save Asuna even though he hates her.
• Scary Black Man: Asuna's view of him, and the reason why she's so awkward around him. He's not happy about it.
• Self-Applied Nickname: Unlike Klein, he encourages people to call him by his screen name "Tiffany", to the point where Kirito still calls him this IRL.
• Skewed Priorities: When Kirito vomits out his 9-Up in Episode 13, Tiff is just mad that he puked on his jukebox.
• Real Men Wear Pink: He is not at all embarrassed to be known as "Tiffany." He even says that it is a girl's name up front when others try to cover for him.
• Sugar-and-Ice Personality: He's mostly a Nice Guy to his friends, but is a lot more vindictive towards people he doesn't like, like idiots or racists.
• Surrounded by Idiots: In his first appearance, he's actually trying to help his fellow players, like his Canon counterpart. But he quickly becomes so fed up with their Too Dumb to Live attitudes that he starts scamming them instead.
• Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: Despite being companions during several raids, he hates Asuna for her blatant (if unintentional) racism, and it's implied he banned her from his shop in Episode 8.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: The first time we see him, he's actively trying to encourage the other players to fight for everyone's freedom. After seeing Kirito and Asuna curb-stomp the floor boss while the other players fool around, he gives up on them and resigns himself to scamming the dumber players out of their col to make a living in SAO while Kirito and the others beat the game themselves. He does go back to fighting in the front lines sometime before Episode 11, though.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Is one of the only people that actually show anything resembling a proper friendship with Kirito, jokingly calling him his "least favorite customer" since according to Kirito, he isn't "dumb enough to buy [Tiffany's] crap". Helps that Tiff agrees with Kirito that a lot of the other players are indeed idiots, and neither of them makes any real attempt to pretend otherwise. Kirito even stops by his bar in early Season 2 and in the middle of a rant about his day, he angrily exclaims "I TREASURE OUR FRIENDSHIP!" with total sincerity.

Silica

"Don't take this the wrong way Mr. Kirito, I'm grateful for your help, but you're like the worst person I've ever met."

Voiced by: Rachel Michelle

A young newbie who develops a crush on Kirito after he saves her life. Once she gets to really know him, however, she just can't wait to be rid of him. She goes on a journey with Kirito to revive her pet dragon, Pina.

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• Adaptational Angst Upgrade: Unlike in canon, she and Kirito aren't in time to save Pina. Her canon self also lacked this version's Hilariously Abusive Childhood.
• Adaptational Badass: Though not as visible at first sight, she somehow manages to claw at Kirito's face enough to leave lasting marks during her rampage at the end of Episode 4. By comparison, the men of Titan's hand could not leave a scratch on him while repeatedly hitting him with swords.
• Audience Surrogate: Acts as one, regarding how MMOs and RPGs handle quests. As well as dealing with asshole party members.
• Alcoholic Parent: Her mom was implied to have been drunk out of her mind while she was pregnant with her.
• Bad Liar: When probed, she frantically denies having overheard Kirito calling out Sachi's name in tears as he slept, only to ask him "Who's Sachi?" two seconds later.
• Badass Adorable: You wouldn't think so at first, but Pina calls her "Dovahkiin" near the beginning of the episode, and if The Stinger at the end is any indication, she certainly lives up to the title when she snaps.
• Beware the Nice Ones: She's usually a very sweet and positive young girl, but she has her limits: When it's revealed Pina had "expired" and was no longer revivable, she snaps and goes on a brutal rampage, with Kirito apparently being the main target of her rage. It gets worse when you remember Rosalia's minions had failed to deal any damage to Kirito with their swords, while Silica apparently managed to scar him by clawing him.
• Break the Cutie: Episode 4 was not kind to her.
• Brutal Honesty: Eventually admits to Kirito that he's "the worst person [she's] ever met."
• Cute, but Cacophonic: She gives off an adorable but ear-piercing scream as she stabs the plant monster that was trying to eat her. Kirito is not impressed, especially after having dealt with her Motor Mouth for 7 hours after meeting her.
• Cheerful Child: Despite the circumstances that surround her, she maintains this demeanor. Even after her tantrum in Episode 4, a Freeze-Frame Bonus in Episode 12 shows her as this again.
• Children Are Innocent:
  • When Pina gets her back bashed and her health depletes to zero, Silica's first assumption is that Pina was going to evolve into a beautiful dragon. She gets a cruel dose of reality shortly afterwards in the form of Pina's body shattering in front of her.
  • In Episode 12, A Freeze-Frame Bonus shows her on Twitter responding to an accusation of plagiarism regarding her Indie Game by saying:
    stolen idea? from where? who did i steal it from? plz tell me.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Her general demeanor is that of an oblivious Cute Clumsy Girl, then she snaps.
• The Cutie: A naive, optimistic Nice Girl with a cutesy voice who's a Friend to All Living Things.
• Damsel in Distress: After foolishly wandering off on her own, she encounters a pack of killer gorillas and has to get saved by both Pina and Kirito. It's also implied she endangered herself on multiple occasions during her adventure with the latter, forcing him to act like her guardian.
  Kirito: Yeah, maybe you should stick behind me. You’re so low-level, you’re aggroing everything in this place.
  Silica: Oh, don’t worry about me, Kirito. I can take care of myself… [Walks three steps and is attacked again] AAAAAAAAAAAAH! KIRITO!
  Kirito: *sighs* This is gonna be my whole day, isn't it?
• Damsel out of Distress: Gotta give the kid credit, she does defeat the plant creature that lifts her into the air by herself, although she has to be reminded that she has a knife before she acts.
• Death by Adaptation: Not her, but her pet Pina. Unlike the canon series, she and Kirito fail to revive Pina in time.
• Deconstruction: Unlike in canon, Silica is not happy with being used by Kirito as bait to draw Rosalia out. It probably doesn't help that this Kirito is a much bigger ass about it, feeling no shame at all and even proudly admitting it.
• Died in Your Arms Tonight: Pina goes out being held by an oblivious Silica.
• Fatal Flaw: Her Motor Mouth: She spends a solid third of the time she had to save Pina recounting her entire life story to Kirito, which ultimately comes back to bite her when Pina's item expires literal seconds before being revived.
• Feathered Dragons: Pina is a blue Shoulder-Sized Dragon who drops a blue feather after she dies.
• Foil:
  • For most of Episode 4, she's this to Kirito, who is a jaded and misanthropic Jerkass who often works alone, while Silica is an optimistic and idealistic Nice Girl who begs him for help.
  • She's talkative and cheerful, contrasting Kirito's previous companion Sachi, who was generally quiet and had a much more glum attitude. Furthermore, their respective AI companions are also polar opposites; Pina sacrifices herself for her owner, while Gary abandons Sachi and the guild to die in a dungeon. Despite this, Kirito still sees Sachi reflected on Silica when they first meet.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: Her former guildmates clearly favored Rosalia over her, and didn't blink when the latter tried to skin Silica's beloved pet, or when she left the guild because of this.
• Friend to All Living Things: She endlessly dotes on her feathered friend Pina, and when teleported to Floria, she instantly gets distracted with the wildlife, stopping for a second to stare at some ladybugs and sniff some flowers. She draws the line at carnivorous plants, though.
• Girlish Pigtails: Her hair is tied in pigtails and is as girly as her canon counterpart.
• A Girl and Her X: She used to be this with Pina before the latter's passing.
• Good Counterpart: To Kirito. They're both SAO players who see a loved one (Pina and Sachi respectively) die tragically during a fight, and then see the hope of reviving them taken from them as well. Furthermore, they both share the quirk of being overly talkative to the point of being annoying. While they spend most of their shared screentime being polar opposites in terms of personality, The Stinger of Episode 4 implies she might be going down the same path he went through years before SAO.
• Head Pet: Pina is introduced sitting on her head.
• Heroic BSoD: Has a brutal one in the form of a rampage when Pina gets Killed Off for Real at the end of Episode 4.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Pina takes a lethal blow to the back by a killer gorilla that was meant for her. It's even more pronounced in this version, as they're unable to revive her afterwards.
• Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Silica points to the day of her birth as when her life started going wrong.
  Silica: Well, I guess it all started when I was born. My mom was a bit of a drinker, and nine months sober? That was just not in the cards...
• Honor Before Reason: Leaving her guild behind after they suggested killing her pet for leather pants was certainly honorable, but, as she soon discovers, it's not the most pragmatic thing to do when you're a low-level player in a death game. Sure enough, Pina ends up dead anyway, and she would've soon followed if not for Kirito. She does this again later with Kirito himself after witnessing his brutal behavior, but here it's far more understandable considering how unhinged her companion was.
• Hypocrite: She leaves Kirito after he snaps and kills Rosalia for pressing his Berserk Button, angry at him for his lack of remorse, only to go on a brutal rampage herself after Pina is dead, one that shocks even Kirito, with the presence of blood during The Stinger implying someone was killed or maimed.
• Indie Game: A Freeze-Frame Bonus in Episode 12 on Kirito's Twitter feed shows her responding to a bad review of a game she made.
• Kid Sidekick: While the quest to rescue Pina is mostly for her sake, she serves as this to Kirito in Episode 4.
• Love at First Sight: Her first impression of Kirito includes Bishie Sparkles and roses, leaving her starstruck. However, after going on a quest together and getting to know him, her feelings for him subside, so by the end of the episode she just wants to get away from him.
• Mama Bear: Rosalia asking her to skin Pina so that she can have leather pants prompts her to abandon the guild after calling her a monster.
• The Medic: Downplayed. Pina can restore tiny slivers of Silica's HP during battle. Sadly, she can't heal herself.
• Mirror Character: It's clear she reminds Kirito of Sachi. Aside from being small and kind-hearted female players with NPC companions (Gary, Charlie and Derrick for Sachi, Pina for Silica) who call him out on his jerkassery at least once, they both possess an unfortunate short-sightedness that ends in tragedy (Sachi gets herself killed after entrusting many of her essential items to her NPCs, while Silica gets Pina killed by leaving her guild after an argument with its leader Rosalia).
• Motor Mouth: As Kirito soon learns, asking her "What's wrong?" after witnessing her cry is not the best idea, as she will proceed to tell you everything bad that happened in her life since she was born.
• Nice Girl: While she has her limits (especially concerning Pina's safety), she's still nothing but kind to Kirito, and rejects his friendship offer as politely as she can, even taking the time to thank him for helping her even if he didn't do it for her.
• Open Mouth, Insert Foot: Due to her Motor Mouth, she's bound to let some things slip, such as her knowledge of Kirito crying himself to sleep the night prior to their quest.
• Paste Eater: She made a habit out of eating purple crayons when she was four because the blue ones were too tart according to her.
• Plucky Girl: She's courageous to a fault, and has the cheerful demeanor to boot.
• The Pollyanna: Zig-Zagged. Considering the circumstances, she's optimistic to a fault while on her misadventure with Kirito, and always gets back up after being knocked down. However, this all was because she's positive Pina will be saved for sure. She wasn't, and Silica was not happy about it.
  Silica: "I suppose it’ll all be worth it to have Pina back."
• Red Eyes, Take Warning: You wouldn't think so, but underneath her innocent crimson eyes there's a hidden beast who is capable of traumatising Kirito himself.
• Red Is Violent: She has red eyes and a red outfit, and while she's usually quite lovely, she's downright vicious when she snaps.
• Rescue Romance: Subverted. She falls in love with Kirito immediately after meeting him when he saves her, due to his Knight In Shining Armour pose, but it quickly goes out the window thanks to his insufferable attitude.
• Senseless Sacrifice: Lampshaded by Silica regarding Pina's death.
  Silica: Do you think you could hold them off for a second? [A second later, Pina gets struck protecting her] Well, I didn't mean a literal second. But you couldn't know that.
• Shout-Out: Pina calls her a "Dovahkiin" and she thought Pina was going to evolve when the dragon starts glowing.
• Shoulder-Sized Dragon: Pina, which helps her status as a Head Pet.
• Shadow Archetype: Pina is this to Yui, another Artificial Intelligence whose human companions grew attached to, and who sacrificed herself to save them from an enemy. In Pina's case, despite a very long quest to find an item to revive her, Kirito and Silica were ultimately too late to save her, and Pina's item expired before Silica could save her. With Yui, however, Kirito managed to improvise and used his admin privileges to download her data into an item on his NerveGear, thus saving her life before her code was deleted. The Reveal in Episode 13 that Yui never truly "died" and was instead pranking Kirito and Asuna somewhat muddies this.
• "Shaggy Dog" Story: Pina's item expires just as Silica was reviving her, rendering the latter's Trauma Conga Line completely fruitless.
• Undying Loyalty: Silica is willing to abandon her guild and go off by herself for Pina's sake, and the latter rewards her by saving her life from the gorillas at the cost of her own.
• What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Only Silica seems to see Pina as a life worth saving, with Kirito feeling No Sympathy for her predicament and Rosalia trying to exploit it to win herself a pair of leather pants.
• Yank the Dog's Chain: After it seems like she's finally going to revive Pina, the game laughs in her face and tells her the dragon's revival item had expired, followed by said item exploding in front of her for good measure.
• You Monster!: Says this verbatim to Rosalia, and later again to Kirito, albeit in a nicer way.
• You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry!: She did not take the fact that despite all the hell she and Kirito went through throughout Episode 4, they were still too late to revive Pina. The Stinger shows Kirito standing there utterly gobsmacked with claw marks across his face and ears still ringing from her scream of rage, sitting on his knees as smoke, fire, air-raid sirens, and chaos roar around him.
  Kirito: [thinking] ...She took that well.

Lizbeth

"Sir, either tell me your order or I'll assume it's like a knuckle...sandwich with...like a sword...? In it...?"

Voiced by: Corrinne "Megami33" Sudberg

A friend of Asuna's and a master blacksmith. Lizbeth hides away in her shop due to an incident in her past, but a misadventure with Kirito puts an end to that. After Kirito catches her passing off easily breakable weapons as high-quality ones, he blackmails her into helping him find the rare mineral to craft the best sword she can make.

---

• Abhorrent Admirer: Implied to be the case for Asuna, who is reminded of the reason why they don't hang out regularly when Lizbeth tells her that she wants her to live in her closet.
• Adaptational Angst Upgrade: Here, she has a much more sad background than her canon counterpart. There's also the fact that Asuna burned her shop down by the end of her debut episode, meaning her Only Friend at this point has turned on her. Although she later becomes friends with Tiffany and Kirito.
• Adaptational Dumbass: Downplayed. Her introduction presents her as more overtly kooky than her original counterpart, embarrassing Asuna. However, once Kirito enters the equation, she suddenly starts looking more mature in comparison, and her abrasive streak towards him is much less unwarranted than in canon.
• Adaptation Personality Change: Abridged Lizbeth is an Hikikomori who prefers to stay in her shop. She also has to be blackmailed into accompanying Kirito on the quest for the rare mineral, as opposed to her canon self who insisted on going against Kirito's better judgement.
• Affectionate Nickname: Asuna always calls her "Liz", while Kirito sometimes calls her "Pinky".
• Ambiguously Bi: She clearly longs for male attention, but her interactions with Asuna imply that she was infatuated with her as well; before she burned down her shop, that is.
• Autobots, Rock Out!: Kayaba tends to play appropriate music whenever possible. Shows how impressed he is with her smithing skills that he chooses the kind of pulse-pounding Hard Rock you get from the Guilty Gear soundtrack (along with it being appropriate in the backdrop of the final fight of Gurren Lagann, which is shown as an in-universe Fighting Game, which she balances along with the rhythm game, and the game of Space Invaders).
• Belligerent Sexual Tension: Has a one-sided version of this during her adventure with Kirito, as she's been holed in her shop for so long that she falls for any boy she sleeps next to (even if he's an asshole). Luckily, with some ''persuasion'' from Asuna and Kirito's own issues, she gets over it.
• Betty and Veronica: She was the "Betty" to Asuna's "Veronica" before she got over Kirito.
• Break the Cutie: Twice, once when her entire guild was killed off, and the second time when Kirito cemented her legacy with literal dragon shit (or so she thinks). And then Asuna burns down her shop by the end of the episode.
• Brick Joke:
  • At the end of episode 7 Asuna burns her shop down for talking to Kirito, and in episode 9 she's carrying a box of things she managed to recover from her ruined shop, then Asuna shows up where she insists she wasn't talking to Kirito and promptly flees by jumping out the window.
  • In episode 7, she talks about the Lizbeth Quality Guarantee right before Kirito casually breaks her best sword as a test. After blackmailing her into making him the best sword in the game, said sword shatters in the climactic battle against Kayaba in episode 11. The subtitle reads "Lizbeth Quality Guarantee".
• Chivalrous Pervert: "Trying to impress some master swordsman? Eh? Get him to plant his enchanted sword in your cave of wonders? Do battle with the fearsome dragon within?" ^note By "Dragon" she means Chlamydia.
• Creepy Good: She's a sweetheart overall, but her dreams to keep Asuna in her closet "like an adorable boogeyman" are rather worrying to say the least, as is her insistence on hearing details on her only friend's love life.
• Cry Laughing: By the time Kirito is done with her, she ends up doing this.
• Cloud Cuckoolander: Has shades of this at first, which are implied to be due to isolation, but she soon becomes the saner one between her, Asuna, and Kirito.
• Curtains Match the Window: Has rose hair and rose eyes.
• Cute Clumsy Girl: As Kirito can attest to, she's absolutely hopeless in a fight, but she makes up for it with her enthusiasm and kindness. Deconstructed when it comes to her guild, as her eagerness to visit the dungeon paired with her lack of situational awareness got her entire team of friends killed.
• Damsel Scrappy: In-Universe. Kirito is not amused at having to jump into a pit to rescue her.
  Kirito: Damn it, Liz. You had ONE job!
• Deadpan Snarker: While she needs to workshop some of her digs, she's just as snarky as her canon counterpart.
• Distaff Counterpart: She could be seen as this to Klein, another Vitriolic Best Bud of Kirito. Both of them are optimistic, sensitive, polite, and snarky low-level players who start off as victims of Kirito's taunts but who gradually bond with him despite their opposing personalities. Kirito's insistent use of Klein's humiliating name tag is also akin to his choice of appellation for Lizbeth's sword. Fittingly, after Kirito completes his Heel–Face Turn in Episode 11, he puts an end to both jokes almost simultaneously, although Lizbeth is sadly not present to witness it.
• Embarrassing Nickname: Not her (unless you count "Keanu", "Sachi" or "Pinky"), but her best sword "The Piece of Shit... DRAGON Shit that is! LOL Trademark Lizbeth". Subverted later when it's revealed Kirito was just trolling her with that name, and that he didn't actually go through with it.
• Exposed to the Elements: Downplayed. She wears her blacksmithing attire in the mountain, exposing her legs to the freezing cold. Kirito lampshades the stupidity of this decision.
  Lizbeth: Then why aren’t you cold, smartass?
  Kirito: Well, you see, I equipped this great new mountaineering item called PANTS! Really, it’s astounding what science can do these days.
• Extreme Doormat: Justified, as not only is Kirito a much better player than her, but he's also blackmailing her into crafting the perfect sword for him, so Lizbeth has little to do but follow him around and hide as he fights the dragon.
• Fatal Flaw: Her tendency to get lost in her emotions. Her critical thinking and self-awareness is often overshadowed when she's very excited or in love, and due to the cruel world of Sword Art Online not giving her any second chances, these errors in judgement tend to cost her a lot.
  • Her original guild is killed when she runs off on her own due to being unable to contain her excitement at the sight of a very valuable ore, a mistake which she repeats during her mission with Kirito when she sees the crystal field and when Kirito is fighting the dragon.
  • Furthermore, after falling in love with Kirito and earning Asuna's ire, she forgets about her warnings not to talk to him when Kirito approaches her again, which ends with Asuna burning down her shop as revenge.
• Fire-Forged Friends: While she's gotten over her sudden feelings for him, she and Kirito seem to have become Vitriolic Best Buds after their little misadventure in Episode 7.
• Foil:
  • She and Kirito are both self-imposed loners who share the same backstory of seeing their guild die and blaming themselves for it, but Kirito dealt with his trauma by doubling down on his Smug Super ways and becoming an even bigger Jerkass to everyone out of fear that he'll go through that pain again if he warms up to them, while Lizbeth became a Stepford Smiler who simply relegated herself to working 24-7 at her blacksmithing shop as a coping mechanism, sharing news of the world with her treasured Only Friend Asuna. Interestingly enough, Kirito starts off in bitter terms with Asuna, but eventually falls in love with her, while Lizbeth goes from being obsessed with Asuna to running away when she's in the same room as her.
  • She and Silica share some similarities as optimistic and spirited Plucky Girls who both had a misadventure with Kirito, during which they saw him at his weakest point after unwittingly triggering his Trauma Button. However, the main difference between them can be traced back to their changing relationship with the boy; Silica, initially attracted to Kirito due to him rescuing her, eventually starts to resent him following their mission to save Pina. Her interest wanes to the point that she turns down his invitation for more shared adventures. Liz, on the other hand, started off hating Kirito's guts due to him breaking her finest sword, but gradually started developing genuine feelings for him after their mission. Furthermore, Silica had to beg Kirito to help her in her mission, only to end up regretting her decision, while Liz had to be dragged kicking and screaming into Kirito's quest for the metal, but ended up genuinely enjoying her time with him, even thanking him for pressuring her into leaving.
  • Also to Sachi, another sensitive low-level player whom Kirito ends up warming up to despite his initial abrasiveness towards her. They both also conveniently choose the same bridge to cry under while they're having a bad time, and are also approached by Kirito over their problems, only for him to arguably make things worse for everyone. The key difference between them is the way they cope with being perceived as The Millstone; Sachi becomes a dispirited runaway out of fear that she'll get her friends killed, while Lizbeth becomes a Stepford Smiler and a Hikikomori out of remorse over getting her friends killed.
• The Gadfly: Not as good as Kirito, but still applies. Becomes more pronounced in Episode 9.
• Good Counterpart: To her (former) best friend Asuna: They're both snarky SAO players with poor social skills and an obsessive streak who at one point crossed paths with Kirito and fell in love with him despite his smug and antagonistic demeanor. However, Lizbeth is a genuinely kind-hearted girl who can be a bit clingy and Innocently Insensitive at worst due to her social anxiety and Survivor's Guilt, while Asuna is an entitled Yandere who manipulates people into liking her and who is really just as messed up as Kirito. In regards to their relationship with the boy, Lizbeth eventually got over him after she realized how much of an asshole he was (and after Asuna threatened to kill her), while Asuna became internally obsessed with him due to being the only one who stuck with her despite knowing her true nature.
• Go Mad from the Isolation: Downplayed. She didn't completely lose her mind like Kirito did, but the self-imposed isolation that she subjected herself to out of guilt took a heavy toll on her mental stability, making her quite socially anxious.
• Hikikomori: She rarely leaves her shop. It took Kirito blackmailing her and Asuna threatening her to get her to leave.
• Humiliation Conga: Basically all of episode 7 was this for her.
• Innocently Insensitive: Due to being a recluse, her social skills are quite lacking. She has no idea of how creepy she comes across to Asuna on occasion, and spills her entire backstory unto Kirito without realizing that she is accidentally triggering Kirito's Trauma Button, which drives him to tears. However, she's still genuinely pure in her intentions, unlike Kirito and Asuna themselves.
• It's All My Fault: Comes close to saying this word for word in regards to the death of her guild, but Kirito stops her short of doing so.
• The Load: During their quest, Kirito treats her like an NPC due to her lack of proficiency in combat.
  Kirito: I hate escort missions.
• The Millstone: While it isn't really her fault (Kirito essentially roped her into the mission), she causes most of Episode 7's problems, such as running off to find diamonds when in an active boss room, accidentally distracting Kirito and getting him scorched by the dragon twice, and blowing her cover to cheer for him when she thought the dragon was already defeated when it wasn't.
• Morality Pet: Downplayed. Asuna seemed to genuinely regard her as a friend, albeit not one worth potentially losing Kirito for. When she learns that Lizbeth has a crush on him, she lets her off with a warning because she's her friend. Even though Asuna later destroys her shop and leaves her homeless after she's seen with Kirito again, she still doesn't kill her like she said she would.
• My Greatest Failure: The reason she became a shut-in was because she ran headlong into a trap that got her guild killed.
• Named Weapon: She has two known ones; "Lizbeth's Masterpiece" and "The Piece of Shit… DRAGON Shit that is! LOL Trademark Lizbeth" (the latter courtesy of Kirito). Subverted with the latter as it's later revealed he didn't actually went through with the name.
• Nice Girl: While a bit socially awkward, Liz is a kind Plucky Girl who takes her Humiliation Conga in stride.
• Non-Action Guy: Gender Flipped. In a World of Action Girls, Lizbeth is the only main character to never wield a sword in combat, despite running a shop filled with them. The only time she gets physical with someone is when she grabs Kirito by the collar after he breaks her best sword.
• Only Friend: Asuna is her only friend... until after The Stinger of episode 7, where Asuna goes full on yandere and burns down her shop. This changes by episode 9, as she becomes Vitriolic Best Buds with Kirito and Tiffany.
• The Pollyanna:
  • Even getting trapped in a pit with Kirito as her only companion doesn't sour her mood.
    Lizbeth: You know, all things considered, this was actually a pretty fun day.
    Kirito: Uh huh? And how do you figure that?
  • In Episode 9, while she's clearly upset about Asuna leaving her homeless, she's still cracking jokes and playfully teasing Kirito, only bringing up the subject once asked directly.
• Prone to Tears: Not that she doesn't have a good reason to cry, but Kirito notes that she can get very weepy very easily.
• Rose-Haired Sweetie: She has pink hair and is one of the kindest characters in the series.
• Sole Survivor: Her entire guild got killed off in a similar situation to the Black Cats. Her reaction to Kirito telling her she can't just run ahead, immediately flashing back to the picture of her former guild, suggests she feels immense guilt over what happened to them. His later sarcastic comment that she didn't manage to get them killed being a ground-breaking achievement just has her quietly note that it probably is.
• Stepford Smiler: It's implied her plucky attitude is a coping mechanism to deal with her Survivor's Guilt.
• Throw the Dog a Bone: After the Trauma Conga Line that was Episode 7 for her, Kirito reveals that he didn't actually make the poop joke regarding her sword. Of course, she won't find out until he tells her after he frees them both from SAO.
• Ultimate Blacksmith: She's so good at SAO's blacksmithing mechanic that she breaks the game's scoring system when forging Kirito's new sword, and Kayaba sets the sequence to "Big Blast Sonic".
• Vitriolic Best Buds: After getting over her feelings for him, she and Kirito remain friends, while remaining fully aware of how much of an asshole he is. She herself partakes in playful ribbing after his "No More Holding Back" Speech goes public.
• We Used to Be Friends: Lizbeth (understandably) breaks off ties with Asuna after the latter threatens to kill her and burned down her weapons shop. And her next appearance, while Lizbeth is playfully ribbing Kirito, she ends up running away in fear when she hears that Asuna is about to return.
• Yank the Dog's Chain:
  • At the end of Episode 7, it looks like Kirito might share a heartwarming moment with her... until he ruins it by revealing he's essentially made her and her blacksmithing into a dragon poop joke though it turns out he only said that to mess with her and didn't actually go through with it. And then Asuna burns her shop down.
  • Episode 9 seems to put the final nail in the coffin when it's revealed she had managed to rescue a sizable portion of stuff from her destroyed shop, only to drop it in fear after Asuna shows up.
• You Need to Get Laid:
  • In the opening of episode 7, Lizbeth starts asking invasive questions about Asuna's sex life due to her own lack of action and wanting to live vicariously through her.
  • This seems to be the reason for her Belligerent Sexual Tension with Kirito, as she falls for him the moment he does something nice for her. She gets over it after his jerkassery is reaffirmed.

Diabel's Raid Party

General

WHAT?! 2000 PEOPLE ARE DEAD?! IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A MONTH YET! OH MY GOD, WE REALLY ARE FUCKED!

A prototype guild formed by a ragtag force of straggler players which managed to clear Floor 1 before being disbanded due to the death of their leader, who then gave the reigns to beta tester Kirito, who then proceeded to ditch them all, effectively dissolving the guild.

---

• All Men Are Perverts: At least three of them lose their composure when Diabel reads that the players who ask female players for boob pictures should be put in the front lines.
• Answers to the Name of God: With one player it's justified. Jesus (Hay-soos) is a common name in Spanish-speaking countries.
• Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: One of Diabel's squads starts playing Bejeweled during the Floor 1 Boss. Diabel is not amused.
• Bring My Brown Pants: During the fight with Illfang on Floor 1.
  Illfang: [jumps in front of Kibaou and another player and roars]
  [pop-up appears: "Bonus Item: Soiled Pants"]
  Player: Hey! Rare drop.
• Cannon Fodder: How Kirito labels them all at the end of Episode 2. More specifically, the players who asked their peers for coal right after meetinng them, those who interrupted discussions to rant about their political views (including Kibaou), and those who asked the female players for boob pics, are put on the front lines.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Not all of them, but after some time to get used to SAO, many of them start to get organized and even formed their own guilds. The prime example is Asuna, who went on to join the Knights of the Blood Oath and became The Dreaded for many players.
• Dysfunction Junction: Ignoring the fact that they include Kirito and Asuna in their ranks, nobody gives Diabel any respect, Kibaou tries to rally players against beta testers out of jealousy, Tiffany gave up on everyone halfway after the first mission, and at least two of their members would go on to form Player Killing guilds.
• From Nobody to Nightmare: Many of them joined either the mafia or Laughing Cofffin after Episode 2.
• Leeroy Jenkins: Even after Diabel had made a tactical plan for the raid, once they reach the boss room:
  Player: "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"
• Literal-Minded: When they complain about having to walk too much, an angry Diabel sarcastically tells them to take an hour off for a Cheetos and Mountain Dew break. A Smash Cut later:
  Diabel: Dammit, guys! I was kidding! You weren't actually supposed to take an hour! God, we've lost so much time. Let's just do this already!
• The Main Characters Do Everything: Most of them are so useless that Kirito and Asuna end up being the only ones who effectively deal any damage to Illfang.
• Potty Failure: One of them pees his pants "a little" due to the exhaustion of reaching Illfang's Tower.
• Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: Diabel finds out pretty soon that trying to rally them into working as a team is a lost cause. Half of them would then go on to join the mafia.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Kirito leaves them following their pitiful display against Illfang in Episode 2. Tiffany soon follows.
• Teeth-Clenched Teamwork: They were already this without Kibaou trying to turn them against each other and Kirito constantly mocking all of them.
• The Slacker: They all refuse to participate in the raid during the morning (with one of them complaining about being forced to wake up at 2:30pm), and they're already exhausted after reaching Illfang's Tower, which is in the first floor.
• Those Wacky Nazis: During the brief, a German player displays interest in a battle strategy featured in the guide called "The Final Solution".
• Took a Level in Badass: Many of them start off as a group of complete buffoons who only serve as "meat shields". Many of those who survived Episode 2 would then go on to form their own guilds or become high-ranking members of other well-respected groups:
  • Asuna learned how to open the menu and became second-in-command for the Knights of the Blood Oath, the top guild in SAO. She got to the point of terrifying Kirito himself and game administrators Kayaba Akihiko and Nobuyuki Sugou.
  • Downplayed with Tiffany who was already the Only Sane Man of the guild but at some point, he joined Klein and survived many raids after that.
  • Jeffrey became the feared leader of Laughing Coffin, one of the most notorious Player Killing guilds.
  • Downplayed with Corvatz, who managed to become one of the greatest tactical minds of the Aincrad Liberation Front, though that's not saying much.
  • After not being able to sway anyone in Episode 2, Kibaou managed to rise in the ranks and became the leader of the Aincrad Liberation Front.
  • Fluffles went from a normal cat player to The Don of the mafia, and then became a board member for the Knights of the Blood Oath, all the while being a housecat.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: After Diabel died and Kirito ditched them, this is what happened to many of them due to the struggles they faced in SAO: Asuna became even more Ax-Crazy, Tiffany became a Con Man, Corvatz became a Drill Sergeant Nasty for the ALF, Kibaou became a tyrant for the same guild, Jeffrey became the head of Laughing Coffin, and Fluffles formed a mafia. Even Kirito himself became more of an asshole to everyone after his following misadventures.
• Undying Loyalty: According to Tiffany, they would have gladly followed Kirito to hell itself after he killed the Warmup Boss. Kirito doesn't care and ditches them for their stupidity.
• Vomit Discretion Shot: One of them vomits offscreen due to exhaustion before the raid had started.
• Zerg Rush: They attempt this on Ilfang in Episode 2. It predictably doesn't work, though they fare better than the ALF.

Diabel

Okay, so the guide’s a bust. But it’ll be fine. I’ll come up with a great plan for us.

Voiced by: Howard Wang

A player appearing in Episode 2 who tries to lead others in clearing SAO, but loses the will to live in the process.

---

• Adaptational Heroism: Unlike in canon, this take on Diabel is legitimately trying to help people, and tries to solo the first boss not to swipe the "last hit" item, but because he knows the rest of the raid isn't competent enough to handle it.
• Adaptational Intelligence: The original Diabel was no idiot (at least in the Anime version), but most of his knowledge could be chalked up to being a beta tester, and he gets killed the moment this knowledge fails him. In this version, he dies because Kirito spent too long explaining the differences between a Talwar and a No-Dachi while failing to tell him the actual utility of both weapons in battle. He also has a legitimate (if tragic) reason to refuse Kirito's health potion this time, instead of it being a particularly stubborn case of Honor Before Reason.
• Adaptational Nice Guy: On top of his newfound heroism, this Diabel is also a genuinely kinder leader to the rest of the team, even allowing them to take a a "Cheetos and Mountain Dew break" that lasted an entire hour.
• Beleaguered Boss: The first in the series to experience the trope. He leads an army of players in attacking Illfang, the Warmup Boss, only for the squads to completely ignore his orders.
  Diabel: Goddammit guys! Squad B! Quit attacking the boss and keep the Sentinels off us! Squad C and D! Stop attacking from the front, do you even know what "flank" means?! SQUAD F, FOR FUCK'S SAKE STOP PLAYING BEJEWELED! AARGH!!
• Adaptational Wimp: Downplayed, since he's still one of the most efficient players of the raid, but there's no evidence of him being a beta tester in this version. He makes up for it with his Adaptational Intelligence.
• Blue Is Heroic: His hair and eyes are blue, and he's the most heroic character in Episode 2.
• Brutal Honesty: While he's dying, he feels free to call the other players for the morons they are, and tells Kirito he wishes he had listened to his "always look out for number one" speech. Not even Kirito himself is exempt from this.
  Kirito: In another life… in another time… I think we could have been friends.
  Diabel: I... doubt it. *Dies*.
• The Chains of Commanding: While he starts off optimistic of his role, he gradually loses hope in his team after witnessing the extent of their ineptitude. His story ends up tragically, with him refusing Kirito's healing potion because he has lost all hope in ever beating the game.
• Curtains Match the Window: He has both blue hair and blue eyes.
• Cynicism Catalyst: By the end of the Floor 1 raid, he's bought into Kirito's worldview that other players are worthless morons.
• Driven to Suicide: The experience of trying to lead his fellow players in a raid group leaves Diabel refusing a healing potion after getting mortally wounded.
• Dying Curse: It's Downplayed, as it comes after praising Kirito, but his last words to Kirito before dying essentially amount to "I doubt we would've ever been friends". Kirito takes the hint.
  Kirito: Well, fuck you too!
• Excellent Judge of Character: After the speech Kirito gave him, Diabel recognizes him not only as the Only Sane Man of the SAO players, but also as a complete Jerkass with whom he wouldn't ever want to associate.
• Extreme Doormat: Despite being the leader of his team, he allows his lazy subordinates to delay the Floor 1 raid for six hours.
• Everyone Has Standards: While he obviously doesn't commit to it, he can see the reasoning behind the guide's tip involving the use of the more annoying players as live bait. He draws the line at whatever "The Final Solution" is, though.
• Fatal Flaw: His lack of creative thinking is what causes him to follow through with his guildmates' stupid and impractical ideas, despite being against them for the most part. He also didn't have a strategy beyond what he read from the players' guide, so he was completely unprepared for when one of the tips (regarding the boss' weapon of use) turned out to be false/outdated.
• Foil: His arc is essentially the opposite of Kirito's; Diabel is introduced as The Hero who strives to lead the other SAO players to victory, but eventually becomes so disillusioned with them for their incompetence and stupidity that he ends up renouncing the position, eventually allowing himself to die out of despair. Kirito, on the other hand, started off as a solo player who enjoyed his time in SAO and had no problems hindering the other players' process for his own amusement, only to gradually have a change of heart and end up finishing what Diabel started after warming up to his peers, eventually becoming The Hero Diabel gave up on being. Tragically, Diabel died embracing the same Misanthrope Supreme beliefs that Kirito ended up disowning.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: Other than Kibaou screaming out his name as he's killed, nobody has anything to say about his passing, since he used his final breath to curse them for their incompetence. In spite of everything Diabel had done for them prior to the raid, everyone is quick to accept Kirito as their new leader.
• Giving Up on Logic: He tries to encourage his fellow players to come up with a better plan than "group up and hit it 'til it dies" to beat the raid boss, but...
  Random Player: I'd like to hear more about zis "Final Solution."
  Diabel: [flatly] Fuck it, group up.
• Good Counterpart: To Heathcliff/Kayaba; they both aim to lead and organize the SAO players with the goal of guiding them to victory, but both ultimately find themselves frustrated by said players' obnoxiousness and stupidity. Furthermore, despite having to deal with Kirito's abrasive and insufferable demeanor, both of them come to develop an admiration for him as the Only Sane Man of the entire player base.]] However, Heathcliff is revealed to be Evil All Along (Kayaba) and directly responsible for the predicament that all the players find themselves in, his purported leadership being a façade to maintain his subjects as hostages to evade the authorities. Conversely, Diabel is an equally beleaguered victim of the situation Kayaba kickstarted, much like the rest of the players, and willingly puts himself in danger to stop everyone else from getting killed, in contrast to Kayaba, who abused his admin privileges during the raids to make himself impervious to damage.
• Hope Spot: During the raid, it seems he finally found another player (Kirito) who has a sense of self-preservation and who is willing to follow through with his strategies. Said player gets him killed minutes later due to obnoxiously long exposition.
• Ironic Last Words: As he's dying, he accepts Kirito's belief that the idiot player base was not worth all the effort he put into them, but also states that him and Kirito would've never probably managed to be friends due to the latter's chronic jerkassery. By Episode 11, not only has Kirito essentially become the new Diabel (leading armies and clearing floor after floor as the hero of Aincrad), but he's also taken a massive level in kindness, defending the "sheep" he used to look down upon so vehemently.
• It's Up to You: He seems to feel this way by the Illfang boss fight.
  Diabel: Alright, men, this last part is going to take careful coordination... which is why I'm just going to do it myself!
• The Leader: The only SAO player bold enough to assume this position, although even he ends up sick of it.
• Mauve Shirt: He serves as the third most prominent character of Episode 2 before he gets killed in the third act.
• Not So Above It All: After some initial confusion, he admits to agreeing with the guide's tip of sending the more obnoxious players to the front lines to serve as a meat shield, even if he doesn't actually go through with the idea.
• Only Sane Man: The only member of the Floor One clearing team besides Kirito, Asuna and Tiffany with an ounce of common sense.
• Parting-Words Regret: Inverted. As he's dying, he uses his last words to express lament for having spent so much effort on trying to lead the hopeless idiots that are the SAO player base, and not having been a solo player like Kirito.
• Senseless Sacrifice: He dies charging at Illfang to stop anyone else from potentially getting themselves killed. His attack does absolutely nothing as both Kirito and Asuna make short work of the beast by themselves shortly afterwards. The fact that Kirito could've easily revived him had Diabel not refused the health potion just cements this.
• Shadow Archetype: In the end, despite his initial refusal to do so, Kirito would end up unwittingly following in his footsteps and leading the players to victory, coming close to dying while fighting for their freedom instead of giving up on them like Diabel did.
• Take Up My Sword: After he gets killed by Illfang, he asks Kirito to lead the other players for him. Kirito refuses.
• Who Writes This Crap?!: His reaction to the beta testers' "guidebook."
  Diabel: Now, it goes on to say that when Illfang's health goes into the red, he's going to switch from his axe and buckler to something called a talwar. At that point we should initiate a strategy called "The Final Solution" and I'm just gonna stop reading! Jesus, who wrote this?!
  Kirito: Heheheheheheh.

Moonlit Black Cats/The Crew

General

This here is Sachi… and the rest are NPCs.^note From left to right: Charlie, Derrick, Gary, Sachi, Keita.

A guild that Kirito got roped into joining, consisting of Keita, Sachi, and three NPCs from quests Keita never finished. Unlike in the original series, here they are usually called "The Crew".

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• Adaptational Wimp: They weren't all that badass in the anime, but here they're a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits composed mostly by defective Non-Player Characters. The only two human members are a sleazy cheater who gets his team targeted by the mafia, and an insecure girl who lags frequently. It's no wonder Keita was so desperate to approach Kirito.
• Adaptation Species Change: In the anime, they were all mid-level players who knew each other in real life and formed the guild in the game. In the parody, only Sachi and Keita are players while the others were NPCs that Keita abducted from the various quests and tutorials that he never finished.
• And the Rest: While Kirito indirectly references Charlie and Derrick in Episode 5 when describing his fallen best friends, Sachi is the only one he always alludes to when thinking back on his time with the guild. Justified, since Keita was an asshole in this version, and Gary is a Lethally Stupid AI whom he loathes.
• Artificial Stupidity: The AI party members... aren't exactly the greatest. Granted, all of them are from low level quests, one of them being the Tutorial NPC.
• Chekhov's Gun: The fact that one of their NPC members is from the tutorial comes back in a big way in Episode 11, where Kayaba reveals that stealing him was one of the primary reasons over 2000 players died within the first month as none of them could complete the tutorial, and was a catalyst for him posing as Heathcliff to try and get things back on the rails.
• Five-Man Band: Before Kirito joined against his will, they were a five-man band; Two humans and three NPCs.
• Guest-Star Party Member: Gary, Charlie, and Derrick are this in-universe, quest NPCs who fight alongside you until you finish their quests. Keita realized he could simply prolong doing so and make them permanent party members.
• Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: Keita is a cheater using glitches and exploits to fund the guild by using duplication glitches on rare items, Sachi has terrible internet connection and lags at all the wrong times, and the NPCs suck at pathfinding, fighting, obeying orders, and will randomly get stuck in walls.
• Total Party Kill: Charlie, Derrick and Sachi die in the 27th Floor; Keita kills himself shortly afterwards; and Sole Survivor Gary gets torn apart by Kirito months later.

Keita

"And what if I put on this hat?"

Voiced by: Sam "SpriteStuff" Ryan

The glitch-exploiting leader of the Crew, who controls Kirito with his Charisma +50 hat. He ropes Kirito into his guild because of his high level. He also kidnapped three NPCs from their quests to make them permanent members. He eventually gets the guild in debt to the mob after selling a rare item he was going to duplicate before it got patched, and sends them to find a replacement on the dangerous 27th floor.

---

• Adaptational Intelligence: Abridged Keita is a lot smarter, on top of being a manipulative glitch-exploiting hacker, he specifically recruits Kirito into his guild because of his level, while in canon, Keita never even knew about Kirito's true level.
• Adaptational Jerkass: The original Keita was A Father to His Men, while this one uses glitches and overpowered items to force people to join his crew and do his dirty work. This is mitigated since his guild is primarily composed by NPCs this time, but still applies.
• Adaptational Villainy: Instead of a perfectly normal guild leader like in canon, he's a manipulative glitch-exploiting hacker affiliated with the mafia whose selfishness in stealing several NPCs resulted in the death of thousands of players. Also, instead of his guild deciding to explore a dungeon out of curiosity like in canon, he was the one who forced them to go to recover an item from a dangerous dungeon and pay off his debt while he opts to not join them.
• Adaptational Wimp: Keita in SAO proper was implied to have been the badass of the group before Kirito stepped in, and was the one who came up with the guild's strategies. Abridged Keita, on the other hand, is a Dirty Coward who takes shortcuts and uses his companions to complete his tasks for him.
• Asshole Victim: Downplayed. In this version, it's a lot harder to feel sympathy for his death due to all the awful things he's done. On the other hand, Kirito's horrified reaction as he sees him commit suicide, and him crossing the Despair Event Horizon afterwards, can make viewers feel a tad sorry for him.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Introduces himself as a friendly figure to Kirito, offering him to join his guild, only to later demonstrate that he doesn't give a crap about his decision as he was going to force his hand with his charisma hat anyway.
• Breaking Bad News Gently: Tries this with his guild after being targeted by Fluffles' mob, to no avail. Eventually he just lays it all on them directly.
  Keita: The good news is... we're in debt to the mob! No, wait, that's the bad news. Also, there is no good news!
• But Thou Must!: When Kirito refuses his offer to join his crew, Keita uses his charisma hat to literally force his hand. Occurs again during the search for Sachi, and again during the quest for the lost mafia item.
• Chekhov's Skill: That Charisma-boosting hat of his? It turns out to be the inspiration behind Sugou's plot to abuse the mechanics of the game to enact a worldwide Mind Control plot.
• Compelling Voice: With the hat on, even the most asinine of suggestions becomes impossible to refute.
• Dirty Coward: He has his crew retrieve the in-game mafia's item for him, using his charisma hat to sit the mission out. Furthermore, when the mission fails, he simply kills himself, leaving Kirito (and the one remaining NPC) to deal with the mafia by himself.
• Driven to Suicide: Here, Keita already knew about Kirito's levels, but still jumps to his death. Not because Sachi (and two of the three NPC members) died, but because he'd rather not face an in-game mafia for failing to duplicate a rare item.
• Entitled to Have You: A non-romantic version; when Kirito refuses to join his guild, Keita uses his charisma hat and forces him to sign in anyway.
• Evil Counterpart: To Klein. Both are brunette guild leaders who at one point ask Kirito to join their guild, only to be rejected. However, Klein begrudgingly accepts Kirito's rejection and continues to be friends with him afterwards, while Keita uses his charisma hat to force Kirito to join him. Furthermore, unlike Klein, who is an honest Nice Guy who wants Kirito to be a better person and doesn't hesitate to call him out, Keita is a manipulative suck-up who only cares about Kirito for his "assets".
• Failed a Spot Check: He didn't even tell Kirito and Sachi what item they were supposed to look for before sending them on a quest. The pair don't even realize this until they're already on the 27th floor.
• Fatal Flaw:
  • His short-sightedness and cowardice. He sells a rare item belonging to the mafia believing he will be able to replicate it easily with a glitch, only to learn it got patched. So he coerces Kirito and Sachi into traveling with the AI companions into the dangerous 27th floor that has the item in his place while he stays in safety, resulting in the operation utterly failing and Kirito and Gary being the only survivors. Keita is promptly Driven to Suicide.
  • His overreliance on Kirito and his charisma hat is another one. Once he gets him to join his crew, he believes he's essentially immortal now, and gets himself in all sorts of troubles with sketchy people thinking that either he'll be able to manipulate his way out, or Kirito will be able to carry his crew using his superior abilities and knowledge of the game. He's so confident in his exploits and Kirito's abilities that he doesn't even bother to specify the details of his quest for the mafia item before sending him on his way, much to Kirito's annoyance. When the beta tester fails the 27th-floor mission and everyone else (sans Gary) is dead, on top of some (if not all) of his glitches having been patched, Keita is left with nothing but a crippling debt to a dangerous mafia, leading to his suicide.
• False Friend: Constantly sucks up to Kirito during their interactions, and seems very tolerant of Sachi's lag. Despite this, he's a selfish Dirty Coward who gets his friends killed by making them do his dirty work.
• Foil: To his guildmate Sachi. Though both are low-level players who don't seem to play the game well, Keita is the overconfident leader of his guild who knows how to use the game's assets to his advantage, and who tries to force Kirito to stop being a solo player via his charisma hat, while Sachi is a passive and insecure companion who suffers from internet lag which puts her at a disadvantage, and whose influence actually makes Kirito stop being a solo player.
• Genius Ditz: He's a complete noob, but he sure knows how to "play".
• The Hedonist: Doesn't seem to be in a hurry to escape the death game, and uses his charisma-boosting hat to coerce other players into doing his chores instead of applying it in battle.
• Hidden Depths: Him lashing out at the Tutorial NPC after the latter suggests taking a break from "playing" the death game implies he's more stressed about being trapped in SAO than he lets on.
  Keita: I WOULD IF I COULD, "MOM"! BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY AN OPTION NOW, IS IT?
• Interplay of Sex and Violence: He seems to be sexually attracted by Kirito's stats much like an average guy would be to a girl's assets.
  Kirito: Hey Hey! My eyes are down here!
• Jerkass: He's a glitch-exploiting hacker who uses a Charisma-granting hat to force other players to do whatever he needs them to do, along with stealing various quest-essential NPCs by never completing their quests. This includes the Tutorial NPC, which results in thousands of deaths because a lot of players couldn't complete the tutorial... though given the quality of the tutorial, it may not have made much of a difference.
• Kid with the Leash: Because of the huge Charisma score granted by his hat, Keita can control Kirito, and make him and Sachi do things he'd rather not do.
• Loophole Abuse: Figured out that if he never completed a quest an NPC was involved in, they'd follow him indefinitely to serve as a fighter and pack mule.
• Manipulative Bastard: He's a manipulative, opportunistic con artist and expert cheater who takes advantage of any glitch he can find to survive the death game.
• Mauve Shirt: He gets some characterization compared to his NPC underlings, but he doesn't make it past Episode 3.
• Mean Boss: Forces his crew (including one with a potentially lethal handicap) to go on risky missions for him, without even specifying what their objective is. Sure enough, three out of five end up dead.
• Mirror Character: He's essentially a lower-scale Kayaba:
  • They're both quirky but knowledgeable brunet coders who exploit the game's system for their own benefit (Keita is a hacker who exploits glitches and the game's OP assets, while Kayaba is the game's head programmer who uses his admin privileges to make himself invincible).
  • Both used said exploits to force beta tester Kirito to join their guilds at one point, though Kayaba tried a verbal approach at first, and only opportunistically used Kirito's own arrogance against him when he challenged him, while Keita resorted to using the charisma hat almost immediately.
  • Furthermore, both of them unwillingly caused the deaths of thousands of players due to creating/misusing a specific glitch in the game (Kayaba created a glitch that killed players when their avatars died, Keita stole the tutorial NPC which left the other players unprepared for the game's hazards^note though it probably wouldn't have mattered much considering how useless said tutorial was).
  • The main difference between the two, however, is that Keita was unapologetic about using his perks to get his way, and ended up getting himself killed when he crossed the wrong people and the glitch he was using got patched, while Kayaba hid his admin privileges from the other players, even adopting a new identity to use around his guildmates.
  • Keita's quote "just because I can't play the game doesn't mean I can't "play the game"" regarding himself mirrors Kirito's "guy can't make videogames for shit but he sure knows how to "play"" regarding Kayaba.
  • On a lighter note, both were somewhat affiliated with the mafia, though Keita was implied to be little more than a trader, while Kayaba had at least two mafia members in his guilds whom he dislikes.
• Mood Dissonance: He states his situation with the mafia equals to "The most horrific, awful thing imaginable multiplied by cancer" in a jarringly optimistic happy-go-lucky tone. It seems to be his way of delivering Bad News in a Good Way.
• Obliviously Evil: Keita didn't consider the possibility that the tutorial NPCs might actually be integral to the survival of thousands of players. Though even he says it's "not a good tutorial".
• Pet the Dog:
  • While he doesn't sound all that worried, he asks Kirito to find Sachi after she runs away, saying he would do it himself if the NPCs weren't blocking his door. He's also very tolerant of her lag, despite it being a liability to the crew.
  • He's also shown congratulating Charlie after he defeats an enemy shortly after Kirito joins the crew.
• Right for the Wrong Reasons: Yes, it was good for Kirito to join a group and use his skill set to help someone other than himself, but by literally forcing his hand and using him to do his dirty work, Keita did little but increase Kirito's hatred for guilds. Luckily, Sachi's influence ended up bringing out his Hidden Heart of Gold posthumously.
• Shout-Out: His charisma boosting hat originated from the Studio Ghibli film Howl's Moving Castle.
• Surrounded by Idiots: Has a small moment of this when his NPCs unwittingly trap him in his room and glitch through his wall, and again when the tutorial NPC casually advises him to take a break from the game they've been trapped in for several months.
• Small Role, Big Impact: He only appears in one episode but he is (along with Kayaba's incredible sleep deprivation) the reason why everything went horribly wrong in Sword Art Online. Because Keita took the Tutorial NPCs, a majority of players were left unprepared for the game and it caused the deaths of thousands of other players. Since Keita owes a debt to the mafia, he caused Sachi's death and Kirito's survivor's guilt triggered his character arc. Finally, Keita's hat is the reason why Sugou wants to exploit the game mechanics so he can gain the ability to control people's minds in the real world. Then again, considering how incompetent the tutorial NPC was, he probably did them a favor.
• Snake Oil Salesman: He gives off this vibe while trying to convince Kirito to join his low-level guild, behaving like he's reading from a script and never once listening to Kirito's complaints.
  Keita: Now, I know what you're thinking. "Am I really worthy to join these awesome dudes?"
  Kirito: I literally never thought that about anyone.
  Keita: But let me assure you, we could certainly use someone with your... assets.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Taking the Tutorial NPC for his guild kept other players from completing the game's tutorial, leading to the deaths of thousands. Then again, it is heavily implied that he did have a valid point when he claimed that it was "not a good tutorial."

Sachi

"Thank you for joining our guild Mr. Ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-kirito"

Voiced by: Nicole "NikoruChan18" Templeton

The only human member of the Crew aside from Keita (and later Kirito), and also the nicest person there. She lives out in the boonies and has a terrible internet connection, resulting in random lagging. She is actually able to get Kirito to open up a little and start being nicer. Unfortunately, her subsequent death leaves a mark on his psyche that never quite fades.

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• Adaptational Achilles Heel: While the original Sachi was already lacking in fighting prowess, Abridged Sachi suffers from a lag induced by her bad internet connection. This game-breaking handicap renders her completely helpless against enemies (and can also spread to other players, making her a liability to her team as well). Predictably, this lag is what gets her slain.
• Adaptational Angst Upgrade: The original Sachi's reasoning for running away was her confidence issues and her fear of death, and she at least had her guild and Kirito for support until her final moments. This incarnation of Sachi is the Only Sane Woman of a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits filled with jerks and NPCs, and also happens to be The Millstone for them due to her terrible lag that glitches her and those around her (which also killed four people in a fire at one point). Even if she didn't get killed in the dungeon, she was doomed from the start, as she has no control over it and it can kick in at any time regardless of how far she makes it into the game. No wonder Kirito couldn't bring himself to mock her.
• Adaptational Wimp: Justified, since she's dealing with game-breaking lag that affects her movement and her environment, so her status as The Load is much more pronounced here.
• And I Must Scream: Sachi has no control over her lag, which pops up at random times and can even affect her surroundings. The worst part is it completely freezes her body in place, making her an easy picking for the roaming monsters (in fact, that is how she ends up biting it). Her speech is also distorted when she glitches, meaning she can't scream for help until she snaps out of it.
• Composite Character: She fills the role of Suguha as the one who inspires Kirito to be nicer to others, such as what pushes Kirito to help Silica. This is justified given how much of a jerk Suguha is in this version.
• The Conscience: Briefly acts like this to Kirito in episode 3, stopping him short of mocking other people. She continues serving this role in death, as the vision of her dying is what triggers Kirito's Chronic Hero Syndrome.
• Et Tu, Brute?: Has this reaction when Gary abandons her and the guild and takes all the teleport crystals with him, apparently not understanding this was due to Artificial Stupidity.
• Extreme Doormat: Unlike with Kirito, Keita doesn't need his charisma hat to get Sachi to do whatever he wants. She acts this way with Kirito as well, but he doesn't take advantage of it.
• Fatal Flaw: Her Extreme Doormat nature, lack of foresight (like her guildmaster Keita), and blind trust on her NPC peers are what lead to her death. She gets Kirito to go along with Keita's ill-conceived and reckless plan to replace the mafia's rare item, and in the dungeon with the item, she sets the AI companions to auto-loot to save time only for this to result in Gary triggering an obvious trap chest that gets her killed. They might have survived but she also gave Gary and Charlie life-saving items like Teleportation Crystals and Health Potions, so when they ran/died, they lost those too.
• Foil: To Asuna:
  • Both are Morality Pets to Kirito who had a particular issue with SAO that negatively affected their survival in the game that caused them to be The Quiet One in their first appearance. (Sachi experienced lag, while Asuna was Hopeless with Tech and didn't know how to open the game menu). However, Asuna was an Action Girl who didn't allow her problem to make her a liability and her proficiency in combat impressed even Kirito, while Sachi was The Millstone of her guild and got herself killed fairly early.
  • Sachi was The Runaway who wanted the best for her group, while Asuna is a stalking Clingy Jealous Girl who repeatedly manipulates and threatens Kirito because she's become too emotionally dependent on him.
  • Their dynamic with Kirito is also vastly different: Sachi was a quiet and reserved Nice Girl who was far more tolerant with Kirito than he deserved (although she did call him an asshole at one point), while Asuna often engaged in Snark-to-Snark Combat, or even downright threatened Kirito when he became too unbearable.
  • Both their deaths (or Disney Death in Asuna's case) caused a Heroic BSoD in Kirito, but Sachi tried to use her Last Words to reassure Kirito as she was fading away, while Asuna spent her last breath teasing him for crying.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: Averted. Her death really messed up Kirito — even more than it did in the actual show. Each subsequent episode has at least one mention of said event affecting his psyche in some way, shape, or form.
• Go Out with a Smile: Tragically, due to her hellish And I Must Scream life situation, she seems relieved when she gets killed.
• The Heart: Keita seems to care about her at least a bit, and she soon becomes Kirito's Morality Pet as well.
• Kill the Cutie: Despite Kirito's efforts, her fear of her lag getting her killed eventually became true.
• The Load: When her lag isn't getting people killed, she's implied to not be very proficient in combat.
• The Lost Lenore: To Kirito, obviously. Obvious enough that Asuna clearly did not take learning about her well.
• Mauve Shirt: She's given the most characterization of her guild next to Kirito, but it doesn't save her from getting killed halfway through her introductory episode.
• The Millstone: She believes herself to be this, as her lag affects not only her, but her surroundings as well. In fact, her Establishing Character Moment at the diner involves her lag getting four people killed in a fire. Tragically, the mistake that got Charlie, Derrick and herself killed was a completely human one that her lag had nothing to do with.
• Morality Chain: To Kirito. She's the one who convinces him to try and act nicer and be more helpful. Her death, and final words "Not^note gets cut out due to lag your fault" becomes Kirito's PTSD trigger into helping others out despite his attempts not to do so.
• Nice Girl: While her lag has taken a toll on her mood, she's incredibly sweet and patient, to the point where even Kirito can't bring himself to mock her. Even as she's vanishing, she attempts to reassure Kirito with some final words of comfort (which fail horribly).
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Silently reminding Kirito about his promise to be less of an asshole when he's about to insult Keita's plan, making Kirito do a Last-Second Word Swap and begrudgingly accept it instead. As it turns out, Keita's plan really was stupid and ends up getting Sachi killed.
• Number Two: To Keita, at least before Kirito was forced to join.
• Only Sane Woman: While The Load at best and The Millstone at worst, she's the only human of the team who isn't an insufferable Jerkass.
• Precision F-Strike: When Kirito says there's no point to other people but to mock them:
  Sachi: You know, I'm starting to see why people think you're an asshole.
• Properly Paranoid: She's worried that her lag problem will get herself and everyone she loves killed. It does indeed result in her death.
• The Quiet One: She doesn't say much. Justified, as her lag affects her speech terribly. In fact, one of the few times she does speak causes Kirito's Trauma Button because of a lag-induced misunderstanding.
• The Runaway: Tries to leave her guild early in Episode 3 because she thinks she's The Millstone for them.
• Sacrificial Lion: Her death is instrumental in Kirito's Character Development into a better person for the rest of the series.
• Shrinking Violet: Her default attitude. Even when she's calling Kirito an asshole to his face, she comes off as shy.
• Small Role, Big Impact: Sachi was only around for episode 3; but her impact on Kirito could be felt over the entire first season as the initial cause of Kirito's gradual progression to caring about other people. From attempting to help Silica revive Pina, to defending the remains of Corvatz's army from the Gleam Eyes. Everything started with her simply asking Kirito to not be an ass all the time.
• The Smurfette Principle: The only girl of "the crew".
• Speech Impediment: Her lag causes her to have a case of this that borders on Porky Pig Pronunciation.
• Token Good Teammate: When your guild is composed of selfish assholes and NPCs, you're this by default. Doubles as The Heart of the team.
• Too Good for This Sinful Earth: Her kindness and tragic situation might've softened Kirito's heart, but the death game's Slaughternauts and Murder-Golems couldn't care less, and kill her the instant her lag kicks in again.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Her lag is not the source of all her screw-ups.
  • Her decision to set Gary to auto-loot and giving him all the teleportation crystals ended up destroying her guild.
  • Leaving Charlie all the healing potions meant when he died, they lost them as well.
  • Her attempts at reassuring Kirito with some last words of encouragement end up having the opposite effect when they come out botched and mangled.
• Women Are Wiser: She's the token female of the crew and also the only human member who isn't a complete dick.
• Yank the Dog's Chain: Halfway through Episode 3, it seems like Kirito is finally going to cut her some slack, just for him to yank the rug from under her by snapping back into Jerkass mode when she starts talking about her problems. And then she dies a few days later.
• You Did Everything You Could: Tries to say this to Kirito as she's dying, but her lag causes it to come across as a Dying Curse.

Gary

"We must save my family!"

Voiced by: Isaac "AtomicVoice" Lawson

An NPC from one of Sword Art Online's quests, kidnapped by Keita to be a guild member. He ultimately causes the guild to die in a trap that he triggers (due to being set to auto-loot) and steals the teleport crystal that the group could have used to save themselves.

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• Adaptation Name Change: From Ducker to Gary.
• Adaptation Species Change: From a human player to an AI.
• Adaptational Villainy: Zig-Zagged. The original character never teleported away or left his guild to die at any point, and instead died in the same room as them. Mitigated somewhat by him being an AI in this version, meaning he's Obliviously Evil at worst.
• Alas, Poor Villain: With the exception of Kirito and Asuna, everyone is left completely traumatized after his gruesome death.
• Anti-Villain: He's a massive hindrance for his guild, as well as a Dirty Coward who leaves his friends to die. However, he's also an AI following his directive, so most of his reprehensible actions can be chalked up to Artificial Stupidity.
• Artificial Stupidity: Part of being an NPC. Because Sachi has set him to auto-loot, he does so slavishly with every chest he come across, even if said chest is an incredibly Obvious Trap.
• Ascended Extra: He ends up playing a far bigger role here than he did in canon. He's the actual cause of the Moonlit Black Cats dying since he teleported away with the crystals. He gets Spared by the Adaptation meaning he survives for months longer. He also ends up being Kirito's Berserk Button and is mentioned many times later in the series.
• Berserk Button: To Kirito, especially after he abandons the rest of the guild in an ambush. Hearing his voice or someone mentioning his name will send Kirito into a Roaring Rampage of Revenge.
• Brick Joke: Kirito was really pissed at Gary for teleporting away with all their crystals and leaving Sachi to die. He shows up again in Episode 5 where Kirito proceeds to murder him in cold blood for abandoning them.
• Broken Record: "We must save my family!" Gets worse in Episode 5, as he repeatedly chokes the line out as many times as he can as he's being stabbed by Kirito.
• Cannon Fodder: Asuna planned to use him as this to fight Sheeptar, but Kirito had a score to settle with him first.
• Dies Differently in Adaptation: In the original anime, he gets hacked to death by the Slaughternauts and Murder-Golems. Here, he manages to escape this fate by abandoning his guild to die, only to get brutally murdered by Kirito two episodes later.
• Dirty Coward: Kirito considers him this, since he teleported away and left the rest of the Crew to die.
• Dumb Blond: He has blond hair and is by far the most dysfunctional of the NPCs.
• Flat Character: Ducker was The Sneaky Guy in canon; here, he's just an NPC programmed to save his family. Ironically, he ends up playing a larger role here than the one he had in canon.
• Karmic Death: After getting Sachi killed, Kirito's next encounter with Gary ends with Kirito repeatedly running Gary through with a sword, with Gary futilely choking out his only line as he dies.
• Killed Offscreen: As he's hacked to death by Kirito, all the audience can see is the guild's horrified reactions.
• Lethally Stupid: While in a dungeon, he triggers an obvious trap because Sachi set him to auto-loot, then teleports away with the party's entire supply of teleport crystals, leaving everyone trapped inside to die.
• The Load: He was almost completely useless for his guild, even moreso than Sachi and his fellow NPCs. He's never shown actually doing anything useful and only hinders or actively endangers his group on numerous occasions. In Episode 5, the only use Asuna finds for him is as Cannon Fodder.
• Mauve Shirt: He survives the longest out of his guild (outside of Kirito), but is killed early in Episode 5.
• The Millstone: He gets his entire guild sans Kirito and Keita killed by opening a treasure chest in a dungeon which triggers a trap, and then teleporting away while storing all of the guild's teleport crystals.
• Non-Player Character: From a quest that Keita has no intention of turning in, just so Gary can follow them forever.
• Obliviously Evil: He's a quest AI programmed to want to "save his family", even if it entails abandoning Kirito, Sachi and the other NPCs to their deaths.
• Pokémon Speak: "We must save my family!" Justified, as Keita never finished his quest, making him unable to move on from that line. He's also heard chanting "To Kirito!" alongside the rest of the guild early in the episode.
• Sound-Only Death: Aside from his futile repeating of his only line, Kirito's insane laughter accompanied by sword striking sounds can also be heard as he's killing him.
• Spared by the Adaptation: Survives longer than in canon, only to come across Kirito once more. Kirito doesn't forgive him for indirectly causing Sachi's death.
• Welcome to Corneria: All together now: "We must save my family!"
• What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Kirito initially defends him and the other NPCs against Asuna's tactics, saying that some of his best friends had been NPCs. Then he remembers who Gary is and what he did, and he conveniently forgets about his stance.

Charlie

"Winners don’t use drugs! Except steroids! In which case, use lots of drugs!"

Voiced by: Stuart "LordMegatronG1" Hutson

The tutorial NPC, who Keita kidnapped, leaving the rest of the playerbase unable to get the most basic instructions on how to play the game.

---

• Adaptation Name Change: From Tetsuo to Charlie.
• Adaptation Species Change: From a human player to an AI.
• Ambiguous Situation: Did hijacking the tutorial really lead to thousands of deaths, or given the quality of the advice, it would have changed very little?
• And Knowing Is Half the Battle: Routinely dispenses (questionable) nuggets of wisdom.
• Annoying Video Game Helper: Invoked. He reminds players how long they've been playing in a game they can't log out of. Which turns out to be foreshadowing that the whole situation was a complete mistake.
• Back for the Finale: A variation. His Spoof Aesop speech appears again during the credits, serving as the closing quote of the Aincrad arc.
• Beware the Silly Ones: He's definitely not a good tutorial, but he does manage to defeat a killer mantis early in the episode.
• Eyes Always Shut: Seems to be his permanent expression, even as he's getting killed.
• Flat Character: Tetsuo was The Big Guy of the guild in canon; here, Charlie is just the tutorial NPC who mostly serves as a minion for Keita.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: Surprisingly Averted. Despite being an AI, his death motivates Kirito to vouch for the NPCs early in Episode 5, citing him and Derrick as "some of (his) best friends".
• Identical Stranger: He looks almost identical to his guild leader Keita. Considering the sketchy things he does, it's possible Keita "recruited" him to serve as a Body Double.
• The Medic: For the 27th floor raid, Sachi gave him all the health potions, though he dies before being able to put them to use.
• Non-Player Character: From the tutorial.
• Shoot the Medic First: He's the first victim of the 27th floor raid after Gary abandons them, which dooms Derrick and Sachi.
• Small Role, Big Impact: His "recruitment" to the guild and subsequent death deprived thousands of players of the tutorial, which Kayaba hints lead to the mass deaths in the first month.
• Spoof Aesop: invoked"Winners don't do drugs! Except steroids. In which case, use lots of drugs!"
• Tutorial Failure: Putting aside the fact that the NPC meant to mentor new players instead got turned into one guy's personal pack mule, Charlie's tips on playing the game are things like "always remember, to jump... jump!"
  Keita: It's not a good tutorial.
• We Hardly Knew Ye: Gets two lines before he gets offed with little fanfare.

Derrick

"The bandits are coming!"

Voiced by: Mackenzie "Hayabusa449" Murdock

Another kidnapped quest companion NPC.

---

• Adaptation Species Change: From human player to AI.
• Adaptation Name Change: From Sasamaru to Derrick.
• Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption: His one line turns out to be a pretty good summation of the guild's mob problem.
• Flat Character: Sasamaru was The Lancer in canon, while in this version, Derrick is an NPC who mostly serves as cannon fodder for Keita.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: Surprisingly Averted. Despite being an AI, his death motivates Kirito to vouch for the NPCs early in Episode 5, citing him and Charlie as "some of (his) best friends".
• The Generic Guy: Unlike Gary and Charlie, he has no impact on the plot outside of his one line serving as an Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption for Keita's presentation, and is killed with little fanfare. Notably, he was also the only NPC to whom Sachi didn't entrust any items.
• Non-Player Character: From an unfinished quest involving bandits.
• Pokémon Speak: Justified, as he's an NPC. His only line of dialogue is "The bandits are coming!".
• Punched Across the Room: After a monster No-Sells his spear attack, this is how Derrick bites it.
• Red Shirt: Gets the least amount of characterization of the NPCs.
• Welcome to Corneria: "The bandits are coming!".
• We Hardly Knew Ye: Like Charlie, he only gets two lines before he gets killed. Unlike with the former, however, Kirito doesn't even learn his name, as he gets killed just as Sachi is calling for him.

Golden Apple

General

Left to right: Kains, Grimlock, and Schmitt. Not pictured: Yolko, Griselda.

A guild that attempted to avoid some Loot Drama by selling a valuable item instead of fighting over it, only for the guild leader to be murdered on the way to the market, leading the group to collapse into suspicion over who did the deed.

---

• All for Nothing: The guild completely disbanded due to mutual distrust after their leader was killed trying to sell an item, making their attempts at solving the Loot Drama completely pointless. To make matters worse, the murderer wasn't even interested in the item.
• Beware the Silly Ones: Their antics and dysfunctional relationships are played for laughs, but they end up beating Grimlock half to death and giving him a Neck Snap when he's exposed as his wife's real murderer.
• Loot Drama: They tried to avoid one by selling a valuable item that they had obtained, but ended up falling apart anyway after their leader was mysteriously killed that day.
• Made a Slave: In exchange for his business advice, Laughing Coffin decides to spare Yolko, Schmitt, and Kains by giving them to Kirito as slaves. He's pretty happy about it, they aren't. It's Downplayed as he mostly uses this as a way to mock them, and he lets them go with little fanfare after Laughing Coffin is gone.
• Meaningful Name: Their guild name is an allusion to the Apple of Discord from Classical Mythology that Eris, the goddess of strife, used to spark the Trojan War by causing a violent feud among the Olympians. It's an unfortunately appropriate name for a guild that self-deconstructed due to paranoia and resentment.
• Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: Yolko overreacts to things and comes up with oddball ideas. Schmitt is a video game reviewer who justifiably fears for his life due to the possibility of angry fanboys killing him over his reviews as part of the death game. Grimlock murdered his wife not even for the money, but simply because she didn't cook him dinner one night, leaving him leftovers while she was having a Raid strategy meeting with Yolko and the others. Only Kains and Griselda tried to lead the group with any sort of sensibility. It's no wonder the group just fell apart.
• We Used to Be Friends: The guild fell apart after Griselda's death after they found out one of them had to be the killer. Only Yolko and Kains are implied to have been on genuinely good terms after the fact, and even then they seem to be Vitriolic Best Buds at best.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: Griselda refers to her raid party as "Yolko and the girls" to Grimlock, even though the only other members shown are Kains and Schmitt. This implies there were other female members on the team, but it's unclear whether they were participants in Yolko's plan to avenge her, or if they're even alive as of her death.

Yolko

"I’m sorry, Kains. I entangled him in our web of lies."

Voiced by: Rachel Michelle

A witness to an alleged murder in a safe zone who draws Kirito and Asuna into the mystery that destroyed her guild.

---

• Accidental Truth: Twice.
  • Once when she draws attention to Grimlock as the prime suspect behind Kains' "death", before introducing the idea of Griselda's ghost being the culprit. Grimlock would later pay Laughing Coffin to kill Kains and the rest of Golden Apple for real.
  • Later when she fabricates the story of Griselda's ghost surfacing from the grave. While she wasn't there to take revenge, as Yolko falsely claimed, Griselda's spectre made a physical appearance at the end of the episode, making Yolko at least half-correct.
• Achievements in Ignorance: For as much as Kains lambastes Yolko for her general inability to keep their secret revenge plot... a secret, it's this very incompetence that ends up saving their lives. Had she not decided to involve Kirito and Asuna in their plans for whatever reason, not only would they, along with Schmitt, have gotten murdered by Laughing Coffin, but Grimlock would have gotten away with his crimes scot-free.
• Adaptational Dumbass: This version of Yolko is portrayed as much more incompetent in her attempts at uncovering Griselda's murder, owning to her Missing Steps Plan.
• Adaptational Jerkass: Minor example. Her Pet the Dog moment of keeping Asuna in her friends list even after she's done with her is instead changed to her having forgotten to delete it.
• All for Nothing: Her and Kains' scheme to get Schmitt to confess to Griselda's murder ends up being this when Kirito enters the picture and effortlessly exposes Grimlock as the true killer. Downplayed, as if not for their Missing Steps Plan, Kirito would've never gotten invested enough to dig in the matter and rub it in their faces.
• Anti-Hero: While not as bad as Schmitt, she's a Pragmatic Hero. She's willing to involve Kirito and Asuna (who, while not ''innocent'' per se, are still unrelated players) into her plan to terrorize Schmitt, but she's doing this to get revenge on her guild leaders' death.
• Bad Liar: Downplayed. Kirito admits her act was solid for the most part, but she drops the ball when she says her and Schmitt were good friends despite her barely concealed disdain for him. She also has a poorly hidden Oh, Crap! moment when Kirito comes close to deciphering Kains' death was a fake.
• Beneath the Mask: Downplayed. Her Broken Bird act was a façade, sure, but her personality doesn't change much even when her true role in the scheme is revealed.
• Beware the Silly Ones: Despite being somewhat of an airhead, she helps in the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of Grimlock after he's revealed to be the murderer.
• Brainless Beauty: Kirito sees her as one, lacking in the brains department but sporting a nice butt.
• Broken Bird: Subverted, but she plays the role rather convincingly. It's later Played Straight, but not due to Kains' "death", but Griselda's.
• Crocodile Tears: When she's trying to sell Kains' faked death to Kirito and Asuna.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: She's presented as an idiot who isn't the best at making up or executing plans, but if her part in the beatdown of Grimlock is any indication, she can pack up a punch when she's motivated.
• Curtains Match the Window: She has navy blue eyes and hair.
• Damsel in Distress: In Episode 6, she's captured alongside Schmitt and Kains by Laughing Coffin and held at swords' point by Red-Eyed XaXa. She's soon rescued by Kirito, who gets Laughing Coffin to surrender them to him as their slaves.
• Didn't Think This Through: She really shouldn't have entangled Kirito and Asuna into her and Kains' already faulty plan to scare Schmitt. She's beyond lucky it ended up saving her when Laughing Coffin entered the picture.
• The Ditz: She constantly comes up with unnecessarily convoluted plans and also executes them horribly, involving unrelated third parties for no discernible reason and forgetting to cover her tracks due to having troubles with the game's mechanics.
• Easily Forgiven: Schmitt forgives her and Kains pretty quickly, considering they've spent six months trying to scare a "confession" out of him, despite Schmitt being innocent.
• Embarrassing Nickname: Kirito calls her "Yogapants", since he can't be bothered to remember her actual name. She clearly isn't flattered, but since he had just saved her life, she lets it pass.
• Faking the Dead: Does this in Episode 6 with the help of Kains, exploiting the free fall glitch by taking a swan dive out a window and then teleporting away after the latter throws her a knife.
• Forgetful Jones: She forgot to delete her friends list after she was done with Asuna and Kirito, which they later used to track her down. Kains is not impressed since they had spent six months perfecting their scheme.
• Good Counterpart: Aside from their shared inability to open the game menu, both her and Asuna are attractive and emotional players whom Kirito loves to tease for their flaws and who aren't above putting on a façade in front of their peers to achieve their goals. However, Yolko's is in aid of coercing a confession out of her ex-guildmate to get justice for her guild leader's death, while Asuna's is a full blown Mask of Sanity to hide her bigger flaws. They both have a hidden brutal side, which manifests with killers (or attempted killers) of their loved ones. Yolko is also a lot meeker than Asuna, and takes Kains' criticisms in relative stride; while Asunastabs Kirito in the eye for making a jab at her.
• Hidden Depths: She's a bit scatterbrained, but even Kirito admits her Broken Bird façade was rather convincing.
• Hopeless with Tech: Has a Callback to Asuna's issues with menus as apparently, she didn't think about deleting her friends list to keep her cover of being supposedly "dead".
• Innocent Blue Eyes: Played With. She has blue eyes, and while she's not complicit in Griselda's death, she's an active participant in the ploy to scare Schmitt into "confessing".
• In the Back: To fake her death, Kains throws a knife at her back while she's perched on a window, causing her to fall to her "death".
• In the Hood: While posing as Griselda's ghost.
• Knight Templar: She wants justice for Griselda's death, and her plan involves scaring the already unhinged Schmitt until he confesses despite having no concrete evidence of his involvement. She's even willing to involve Kirito and Asuna to make her act more believable.
• Missing Steps Plan: Even she can't articulate why she got Kirito and Asuna involved in her and Kains' plan.
• Ms. Fanservice: As in the anime, she wears tight pants and the camera focuses on her rear. It turns out that Kirito can't actually remember her name and just calls her "Yogapants."
• Pink Girl, Blue Boy: While pretending to be Griselda's ghost, she has a pink bowtie on her cape, while her companion Kains has a blue one.
• Prone to Tears: She exaggerates it while pretending to be a Broken Bird but later cries genuine tears when calling out Schmitt for supposedly murdering Griselda.
• Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: After Kirito uncloaks Grimlock as the real mastermind behind the murder, Yolko gasps. When Grimlock doesn't actually show up due to Asuna missing her cue, forcing Kirito to repeat The Reveal, she does this instead, the tension having clearly been ruined.
• Suddenly Shouting: After she "realizes" Grimlock wasn't the killer, she assumes it was Griselda's ghost instead and she completely loses her marbles. As it turns out, it was all a set up for "her death".
• Shy Blue-Haired Girl: She has blue hair and she's far less assertive than Kains.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: She gives a brutal one to Schmitt for killing Griselda. Kirito waits until she's finished to tell her that he is innocent.
  Yolko: How could you kill her, Schmitt? She was your friend! Did you really need the item that badly?
  Schmitt: What? Are you kidding me?! You guys are my friends! You know I could never do something like that!
  Yolko: How dare you act like our friend after what you've done!
• Undying Loyalty: To Griselda, enough to spend six months investigating her murder alongside Kains, and trying to scare a confession out of their prime suspect.

Kains

"Christ, Yolko! How big is this web?! You’re catching school buses in this thing!"

Voiced by: Mackenzie "Hayabusa449" Murdock

A former Golden Apple member trying to figure out who destroyed his guild, in a fairly roundabout manner.

---

• All for Nothing: His and Yolko's scheme to get Schmitt to confess to Griselda's murder ends up being this when Kirito enters the picture and effortlessly exposes Grimlock as the true killer. Downplayed, as if not for their Missing Steps Plan, Kirito would've never gotten invested enough to dig in the matter and rub it in their faces.
• Anti-Hero: He comes off as a Knight in Sour Armor, though he can slide into Pragmatic Hero considering the lines he's willing to cross to bring Griselda's killer to justice.
• Brainy Brunet: He has brown hair and is much smarter than his guildmates.
• Brutal Honesty: He doesn't hold back when criticising Yolko's flawed execution of their even more flawed plan.
• Cruel and Unusual Death: Invoked to scare off Schmitt; He's found hanging from a tall tower with a broadsword sticking out of his chest. He was still struggling by the time Kirito and Asuna arrive at the scene.
  Kirito: Huh, look. A human piñata.
• Deadpan Snarker: In regards to Yolko's Missing Steps Plan.
  Kirito: Ah, well, that part was quite simple. You see, I'm not an idiot.
  Kains: Yep, that'd do it...
  Yolko: Shut up, Kains! I thought it was clever...
• Dead Guy on Display: Or fake-dying guy on display. He invokes this when he and Yolko choose to fake the former's death in the Town of Beginnings during the dinner rush, ensuring it reaches the largest possible audience. Unfortunately, this ends up backfiring on them when two particular players decide to stick their noses in the matter.
• Distressed Dude: In Episode 6, he's captured by Laughing Coffin alongside his guildmates, and is later rescued by Kirito, though he's somewhat annoyed at his failed Big Entrance.
• Easily Forgiven: Schmitt forgives him pretty quickly, considering he, alongside Yolko, had spent six months trying to force a "confession" out of him, despite Schmitt being innocent.
• Faking the Dead: As part of his plan to scare Schmitt, he exploits a glitch in the game that mistakes the game's teleport animation with the death animation when in free fall. In the following episode, he helps Yolko fake hers as well by throwing a knife at her.
• Foil: He's smart, deadpan, and brutally honest, contrasting Yolko's forgetful, airheaded, and deceitful (albeit well-intentioned) personality.
• Good Counterpart: To Kirito. Both are competent and deadpan SAO players who are very savvy of the game's glitches and who unabashedly call out their fellow players for their incompetence (namely for their inability to open the game menu). However, Kains shows exasperation and anger at worst, while Kirito opts to mock and prank his peers for their mistakes. Furthermore, while a bit underhanded, Kains' main goal is to get justice for Griselda's death out of genuine loyalty, while Kirito's default reaction to human suffering (including Kains' Disney Death) is "to pull up a chair and crack on the popcorn", and his inability to take the mystery seriously irritates Kains to no end. After Kirito takes a level in kindness, he becomes a lot more similar to Kains, especially once he reaches ALfheim.
• Hypocrite: He endlessly criticizes Yolko for her many mistakes in her already flawed plan, despite his Idiot Ball moment below being as pivotal to their failure as any mistake Yolko made.
• Idiot Ball: Had he not used a teleport crystal to escape while pretending to be a ghost, Kirito would've had no concrete evidence of Yolko's ghost story being a farce. It's especially notable in this version compared to the original anime, as Kirito fell through a window while trying to chase him down, so he could've just run away with no one to pursue him.
• In the Hood: While posing as a ghost.
• Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: To make his faked death look more realistic, he stabs himself in the midsection with Grimlock's sword. Since the town was a safe zone, he didn't die, though according to Kirito, it still would've hurt him like hell.
• Jerkass Has a Point: Though he's rather blunt about it, he's right that Yolko's execution of their plan was lackluster, especially since they had been planning their Batman Gambit for half a year, and they only had one shot at it.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite his snarky and sarcastic demeanor towards Yolko, especially in regard to her Missing Steps Plan, he genuinely wants to solve Griselda's murder. He even attempts to depart on good terms with Kirito, despite their rocky start. Furthermore, he's shown comforting Yolko when she cries.
• Knight in Sour Armor: He knows Yolko's plan is stupid and needlessly contrived, but goes through with it anyway. When it predictably falls apart, Kains is there to chew her out on it, though even he's surprised at how much she screwed it up.
• Knight Templar: He wants justice for Griselda's death, and he's willing to fake his death in front of tens of players just to scare his prime suspect into a confession despite having no concrete evidence of his involvement.
• Not So Above It All: He goes along with Yolko's ghost plan despite its numerous flaws. When Kirito breaks the plan down to prove how nonsensical it is, Kains initially tries to defend his actions before giving up.
• Only Sane Man: Yolko's constant screw-ups in the plan, and the fact that all their efforts turned out to be wrong in blaming Schmitt annoys him to no end. He does thank Kirito for his help in solving the case, as well as saving all of them. Kains even apologizes for not getting along with Kirito. Unfortunately, given the deal that was made with Laughing Coffin to spare them, and Kirito being Kirito.....
  Kirito: [with a tear in his eye] You guys were the best slaves a boy could have.
  Kains: [angrily] Fuck it! I tried! You all saw it!
• Pink Girl, Blue Boy: While pretending to be a ghost, he has a blue bowtie on his cape, while his companion Yolko has a pink one.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: After Kirito trolls him yet again, he gives up trying to make up with him and leaves with the others to kill Grimlock.
• Straight Man: While not perfect, you're this by default when dealing with Yolko, Schmitt, and Grimlock. Kirito and Asuna's involvement only makes him look even more sane in comparison.
• Suddenly Shouting: Despite his generally composed demeanor, he loses his temper on several occasions. Namely, when Yolko admits to involving Kirito and Asuna into their plan for no reason, he lets out a loud "WHY?!".
• Too Clever by Half: His plan to fake his death by exploiting a glitch in the game shows some knowledge of the game's mechanisms, but his use of the teleport crystal while fleeing from Kirito ends up exposing the entire "ghost" façade he and Yolko had planned. His and Yolko's misguided (if based on sound evidence) targeting of Schmitt also had some holes in its reasoning, as Kirito smugly points out while calling them out on their idiocy.
• Tranquil Fury:
  • When Grimlock tries to appeal to his and Schmitt's masculinity to justify his Stay in the Kitchen-motivated murder.
    Kains: Don't talk to us, man.
  • He does it again when he's taking Grimlock to his demise.
    Grimlock: Where are you taking me?.
    Kains: We're gonna get you the help you need, buddy. Behind this tree...
• Undying Loyalty: To Griselda, enough to spend six months investigating her murder and fake his death to scare a confession out of the suspects. He's even willing to stab himself in the chest with the business end of a broadsword while in a safe zone which, while not lethal, was implied to hurt a ton.
• You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Several times with Kirito, Yolko and Schmitt. Said almost word for word Twice:
  • Once when Kirito casually reveals Schmitt is innocent, after watching them verbally tear onto him.
  • And again when Yolko admits to not deleting her friends list because she didn't know how to open the menu.

Schmitt

"I used to laugh at their comments. You hear me?! LAUGH! But now?! What if they actually do chop off my limbs, rip out my intestines, and ride me like some sort of meat tobogan!"

Voiced by: Alejandro Saab

A game reviewer in the real world who owns the site "Piece of Schmitt Games", now a nervous wreck because he's terrified that some of his angry, hateful commenters will find him and make good on their creative death threats.

---

• Adaptational Dumbass: The Schmitt in SAO proper was no Einstein, but his potential went beyond assistant manager at Kinkos.
• Adaptational Jerkass: Despite his indirect involvement in Griselda's murder being Adapted Out, this version of Schmitt makes up for it by being an Emotionally stunted coward who apparently has no qualms with hurting children.
• Ambiguously Evil: He's clearly a piece of work, but it's not clear if he actually would've gone on to murder infants had "the ghosts" told him to. On a related note, his canon guild (Divine Dragons Alliance) was adapted into The Mafia for this version, so it's unclear if this Schmitt was actually part of them.
• Anti-Hero: He's not a murderer (or at least, he hasn't managed to kill anyone yet), and he wants to clear the game as much as anybody else, but he's not someone you can rely on when in a high-stress situation.
• Apologises a Lot: Comes with being a game reviewer.
  Schmitt: Hey, people threatened to kill me for giving Pokémon V&R a 7 out of 10! At this point, I've learned to just assume the position...
• Ax-Crazy: When he thinks he's being accosted by two ghosts, he's quick to offer to scalp innocents and crucify orphans as an offering. Even after they reveal themselves to be Yolko and Kains in disguise, he offers to carry out the deed regardless. This trait of him makes Yolko and Kains suspect him as Griselda's murderer.
  Schmitt: Oh...so, where are we on the whole orphan blood, thing? We talking heads or liters?.
  Kains: Oh, for the love of, WE'RE NOT GHOSTS!
  Schmitt: We faked our deaths.
  Kains: Seriously Schmitt, how many people would you have killed if we'd asked you to?
  Schmitt: Thaaat's not important.
  Kains: I DISAGREE!
• Butt-Monkey: His guildmates don't respect him at all, to the point of dropping all suspicion over Griselda's death upon remembering that he couldn't possibly have beaten her, or even caught her off guard. Later, Kirito specifies him as an example as to the potential that most of the SAO players have, something he doesn't take kindly to.
  Kirito: Nobody's saying their potential doesn't top out at "assistant manager at Kinkos". I mean, just look at Schmitt.
  Schmitt: [offscreen] WHY AM I ALWAYS THE EXAMPLE?!
• Caustic Critic: If the fact that his site is called "Piece of Schmitt Games" is any indication, he primarily criticized games he found bad or mediocre. This earned him a lot of haters who would graphically threaten him, and being trapped in SAO has made him fear that one of those players might actually carry out their threats.
• Creator Breakdown: In-Universe example. The constant online harassment and death threats his fans put him through caused him to go insane after being trapped in SAO. Special mention goes to Johnny Black's "meat toboggan" threat.
• Cowardly Lion: He showed up to help out at the boss battle in Episode 11, despite being a completely nervous wreck.
• Dirty Coward: Willing to kill anyone (except his friends), to save his own skin, as he unintentionally reveals to Yolko and Klain when he thinks they're ghosts.
• Distressed Dude: He's distressed most of the time, but he becomes this alongside his guildmates in Episode 6 when Johnny Black paralyses him and tries to have Jeffrey make a "meat toboggan" out of him. He's later rescued by Kirito.
• The Ditz: On top of being a Nervous Wreck, he's famous for his low IQ, even among his own guild.
  Kirito: Well then, you must think Schmitt was skilled enough to have killed Griselda one-on-one, or perhaps smart enough to catch her unawares?
  Kains: ....Oh my god, Schmitt's not the killer.
  Schmitt: Aw, come on!
• Dumbass Has a Point: His speech about Sword Art Online being a terrible MMO is on point, much to Kayaba's anguish. Even Kirito agrees with him, despite being a huge fan of the game.
• He Panned It, Now He Sucks!: In-Universe: He received a lot of death threats for his negative reviews of various games, notably giving Pokémon V&R a 7 out of 10, hence why he's so nervous now that his "fans" (like Johnny Black) can find him in a death game.
• Hidden Depths: Being a game reviewer, he's very good at pointing out poor design in video games, and gives a surprisingly accurate speech for why Sword Art Online is an Obvious Beta invoked. Even Kayaba can't come up with a retort.
  Well, how else would you describe a game where players can just kidnap NPCs, the crafting system is seizure inducing, and half the time our teleport crystals, one of our only lifelines, do nothing!
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's a complete nutcase and probably has more than one corpse in his closet, but he's very loyal to his friends in SAO. In the real world, he was a Caustic Critic but was quite devoted to his fanbase.
• Nervous Wreck: Justified, since being trapped in the game, he's been afraid that some of his more vocal anti-fans are going to cash in on their death threats.
• Not Helping Your Case: Even worse than the canon version. Schmitt's innocence doesn't get proven easily, due to his troubling outburst in the forest, as well as his strange insistence on collecting orphan blood as an offering for a "ghost".
• Oh, Crap!: Has one, when a certain member of Laughing Coffin asks him if he recalls a commenter to one of his reviews by the name of "Johnny Black."
  Schmitt: [in fear] ""Meat toboggan"....
• Pay Evil unto Evil: He snaps Grimlock's neck in revenge for Griselda's murder.
• Properly Paranoid: He's a Nervous Wreck because he fears that, now that he's trapped in an MMO, one of his haters will actually carry out their threat to turn him into a "meat toboggan" because he criticized some games they liked. He and the guild proceed to get attacked by the leaders of Laughing Coffin, one of whom is the commenter who issued that threat and would have carried it out if Kirito hadn't saved them.
• Red Herring: Despite his Ax-Crazy tendencies, it turns out he wasn't the one who killed Griselda after all; Grimlock was.
• Sanity Slippage: By the time we meet him, he's a gibbering mess who handles pressure worse than a landmine.
• Undying Loyalty:
  • Despite being a Dirty Coward, he's very loyal to his guild, considering them his best friends, and is heartbroken when they accuse him of being Griselda's killer.
  • Also to his remaining fans, for whom he's making his best effort to survive in SAO.
• Varying Competency Alibi: Kirito convinces Schmitt's teammates he's not the killer by pointing out that he sucks too much to pull that off.
• Video Review Show: Piece of Schmitt Games. Yeah...
• Would Hurt a Child: When he believes Griselda's ghost is coming to kill him off, he suggests sacrificing orphans as an offering in exchange for his life.

Grimlock

So you see, boy. I didn’t kill Griselda. I killed the thing that took her place.

Voiced by: Scott "KaiserNeko" Frerichs

A member of the Golden Apple guild, married to another player, Griselda. He is the antagonist of Episodes 5 and 6 as the true killer of Griselda, who murdered her when she was too busy planning a raid with the others to make him dinner and asked him to eat leftovers instead.

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• Adaptational Dumbass: On top of having his villainy upped to eleven, this version of Grimlock is a complete idiot with the brain of a bratty (but more destructive) four-year-old who throws a tantrum over not having the dinner he wanted, then doubles down on his actions and tries to blame his mess on his former friend.
• Adaptational Villainy: While murdering your wife out of fear she'll become a Blood Knight and no longer resemble who you fell in love with wasn't justified, it was a significantly less petty motivation than killing her for not having the time to cook dinner one evening.
• Asshole Victim: Is killed by Yolko, Schmitt, and Kains for having his own wife murdered. The fact that he put out a hit on them later doesn't help his case.
• Ax-Crazy: If killing his wife over a sandwich doesn't prove this, then acting like he is the victim of the whole ordeal certainly does.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He must've been this to be held in such high regard by Yolko and Kains. By the time we see him, however, any superficial charm he might've had is long gone, replaced with a shallow husk of a man grasping at straws.
• Death by Adaptation: He is confirmed as an SAO survivor in the canon, but here he is killed by his former guild.
• Didn't Think This Through: Thanks to this guy's master plan, nobody's making him sandwiches any time soon.
• Dirty Coward: Implied to have killed Griselda from behind, and he hires some mercenaries to tie up loose ends instead of doing it himself.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Subverted. He sounds offended when Kirito accuses him of killing his wife over something as petty as money, only to then reveal that he actually killed her over a sandwich.
• Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: He's positively shocked that his former friends would turn on him after he told them his tragic story of murdering his wife over a sandwich.
• Eviler than Thou: He's the one villain (before Sugou enters the picture) that manages to disgust Kirito with his actions, to the point where the latter gives him a brutal "The Reason You Suck" Speech.
  Grimlock: (to Kirito) Kid, one day you'll understand what's like to be in love.
• Evil Is Petty: The most galling aspect of his crime. He didn't gain anything from it except a dead wife and the hatred of his guild when they find out.
• False Friend: He helps Kains and Yolko with their investigation of Griselda's murder, if only to scare the already delusional Schmitt into falsely confessing to his crime. He also hires Laughing Coffin to get rid of all three of them once they fail.
• Faux Horrific: Only two things can drive him over the edge: His wife not making him dinner in time one day, and insulting his hat.
• Genius Ditz: His plan to get Schmitt framed for his crime is actually rather well thought out (due to the latter already being on the edge of his sanity), and it would've worked if not for Kirito' and Asuna's intervention. However, said crime was motivated by extremely stupid and immature reasons only befitting of a Psychopathic Manchild.
• Greed: Subverted. Kirito initially suspected that Grimlock killed his wife to keep that rare item for himself since married players share inventory space and no one would know he stole it. However, his true motive is far pettier.
• Hate Sink: The entirety of his screen time is devoted to showing off how much of a vile piece of shit he is.
• Insane Troll Logic: He claims he didn't kill his wife but "the thing that took her place." Keep in mind that this stems from the fact that she didn't cook dinner one day.
• Loving a Shadow: As Kirito points out, he never really loved Griselda; he simply wanted to possess her.
• Magical Weapon: Subverted. His sword, "Guilty Thorn" doesn't really kill players in safe zones; it was all part of a ploy by Yolko and Kains to scare Schmitt.
• Moral Myopia: "Delusional" doesn't even begin to describe this guy.
  Kirito: (after sitting through his Motive Rant) Wow, okay. Let me see if I got this. You killed your wife because she wouldn’t get in the kitchen and make you a sandwich?!
  Grimlock: And what man would blame me?! Kains? Schmitt? You guys know what I'm talking about!
  Kains: Don't... don't talk to us, man.
• Motive Rant:
  Grimlock: Are you mad?! I didn't kill my wife for something as trivial as money! No. My story is... far more tragic.
  [cut to flashback]
  Grimlock: We were so in love. In all our time together, we never had a single fight. But then... one night... everything changed.
  Griselda: I'm sorry, honey. I didn't have time to make dinner. I have to go meet Yolko and the girls to strategize for the raid. But there's still some leftovers in the fridge. Don't worry. I'll make it up to you tomorrow. Love you!
  Grimlock: And just like that, I realized the woman I loved was gone. I was devastated. How could she betray me like this? Clearly, if I was to preserve her memory... to hold on to the angel she once was... something drastic had to be done. So you see, boy. I didn't kill Griselda. I killed the thing that took her place.
• Murder Is the Best Solution: Your Extreme Doormat wife isn't making you a proper dinner (for the first time in years), prioritizing going on raids with her girlfriends over your basic needs (even if you still had leftovers in the fridge)? Have you considered... murder?
• Neck Snap: After Asuna complains that they're making too much noise, Schmitt puts an end to the guild's No-Holds-Barred Beatdown of him with one of these.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: Not only does he kill his wife for not being a submissive housewife, but he tries to justify his actions to his fellow male players. Unsurprisingly, they're all repulsed by him.
• Psychopathic Manchild: He considers his wife not making him dinner once to be her In-Universe Moral Event Horizon, and has a childish tantrum after Asuna says his hat makes him look like a hipster.
• Right for the Wrong Reasons: When he tells Kirito, "Some day you'll understand what's like to be in love", he's obviously referring to him becoming a sexist asshole like him, but without the implications, it's actually a sound criticism of his character (and in episode 9, Kirito does eventually understand what's like to be really in love).
• Sanity Slippage: By Episode 6, he's nothing but a blubbering mess pathetically trying justifying his actions at any chance he gets. Luckily, his gang gave him the help he needed behind a tree.
• Skewed Priorities: As Kirito soon finds out, his dinner and 'his hat are far more important to him than his wife.
• Signature Headgear: His hat. Though Asuna and Kirito both think it makes him look like John Lennon joined the mafia.
• Stay in the Kitchen: His attitude towards his wife, to the point of killing her when she failed to do so.
• Straw Misogynist: Exaggerated to the point of parody. Every line of dialogue that comes from his mouth is dedicated to reinforcing this.
• Stupid Evil: His actions weren't just atrocious, they were also extremely childish and immature; he kills Griselda for not making him dinner once, essentially ensuring she'll never be able to make him anything from then on.
• Token Evil Teammate: While the other Golden Apple members aren't saints (especially Schmitt), Grimlock is the only one who is an outright monster. Needless to say, he stops being a "teammate" after his murder of Griselda comes to light.
• Villainous Breakdown: Not brought upon by Kirito's well-founded "Reason You Suck" Speech, but by Asuna telling him that his hat makes him look like a hipster.
• Walking Spoiler: Since he's introduced as Griselda's actual murderer, most of his entries are spoiler-tagged.
• You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Is willing to do this to anyone the moment they don't do what he wants. He pulls this on his wife after she stops making him dinner every day, and attempts this on Yolko, Kains, and Schmitt as well after the initial plan to frame the latter fails.

Griselda

"I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t have time to make dinner. I have to go meet Yolko and the girls to strategize for the raid. But there’s still some leftovers in the fridge. Don’t worry. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. Love you!"

Voiced by: Caitlin "MOM0KI" Myers

The former leader of the guild Golden Apple, whose ghost is purportedly seeking vengeance on her murderer.

---

• Action Girl: She is shown wielding a sword and shield in a flashback, and she apparently led the raids of her guild.
• Extreme Doormat: Implied to have been this for Grimlock before she makes one "mistake" that gets ger killed.
• Happily Married: She and Grimlock were apparently the perfect couple. Subverted when Grimlock is revealed to be a misogynistic psychopath who killed her the moment she didn't make him a sandwich one time.
• The Heart: Her guild completely fell apart when she died, and Schmitt was implied to have gone through some Sanity Slippage after the fact.
• Intangibility: When Kirito throws his sword at her ghost in a panic, it goes right through her and gets lodged in a tree. She doesn't even seem to notice it.
• The Leader: She was this for The Golden Apple before her death.
• Loved by All: Save for her own husband, everyone in Golden Apple seem to have held her in very high regard, and they go to great lengths to investigate her murder.
• No Accounting for Taste: Considering she was one of two Only Sane Men in her guild, and she married Grimlock, a man who murdered her because she didn't make dinner for him one night, she's definitely got a case of this going on.
• Only Sane Woman: Of EVERYONE in her guild (except maybe Kains), she's the one who's most composed. Even after Kirito and Asuna fling a sword through her ghost, the most she does is just frown a bit, and sigh at how they're reacting.
• Peaceful in Death: After Grimlock is killed her soul is finally left to rest in peace (barring the minor inconvenience of Kirito throwing a sword at her).
• Posthumous Character: She's already dead by the time she's first mentioned, and Episodes 5 and 6 revolve around Kirito and Asuna investigating the circumstances of her death. She reappears in spirit form to thank them for solving the case, only for Kirito to throw his sword at her as he and Asuna run away screaming.
• Silk Hiding Steel: She must've been a common housewife IRL for Grimlock to love her for as long as he did, only to show herself to be a rather effective strategist and leader for her guild. This trait ends up killing her when she prioritizes strategizing for a raid over making dinner her husband, resulting in him murdering her.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Her decision to manifest in ghost form the end of the episode to express gratitude to Kirito and Asuna for releasing her spirit ends up startling them, leading to Kirito's panicked response of flinging a sword at her, which kickstarted his quest for a new one with Lizbeth in Episode 7.

Aincrad Liberation Front

General

Corvatz: "Nonsense! We’re too close to give up now! My men do not even know the meaning of the word “surrender”"!^note But we're willing to learn!

One of the guilds trying to clear Sword Art Online, and for the most part, failing at it.

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• Ain't Too Proud to Beg: While trapped in the boss room, one of them desperately begs to be saved. Kirito begrudgingly answers the distress call.
• Deadpan Snarker: When Asuna tells them to use the teleport crystals when they're trapped against The Gleam Eyes.
  ALF member: Oh, HELL, why didn't WE think of THAT? OF COURSE WE TRIED THE CRYSTALS! THEY'RE NOT WORKING!
• Distressed Dude: After they let Corvatz lead them into a Hopeless Boss Fight they had no chance of beating, they spend the rest of their screentime having to be saved by Kirito and Co.
• Extreme Doormat: As Kirito says, they're essentially glorified sheep to Corvatz, as evidenced by the fact that they follow him into a Hopeless Boss Fight where some of them die. They also somehow allowed a moronic scumbag like Kibaou to rise up to the rank of leader, without anyone objecting.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: Averted like you wouldn't believe. Despite being one of the biggest frontline guilds in the game, none of their high-ranking members behave competently or reasonably, to the point where Stupid Evil Kibaou somehow managed to rise up the ranks and become leader. When your other authority figures are either immature assholes (like Kibaou), complete idiots (like Thinker) or both (like Corvatz), you end up with a Red Shirt Army of which only a lucky few make it out alive.
• Red Shirt Army: The only thing they're good at is getting themselves killed.
• Small Role, Big Impact: Most of them only appear in Episode 7, but they're the ones that make Kirito choose to stop being such a stubborn prick and finally follow his instincts.
• Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: A variation of this happens when Kirito reveals his Dual Wielding skill against The Gleam Eyes.
  Klein: Holy...
  Asuna: Shit!
  ALF Soldier: Exclamation mark!
• Sour Supporter: Despite what Corvatz says, his Spanish Guitar reverb item does jack shit to make them like him more.
  ALF Member: Why is he our leader? Let's recall him!
• Too Dumb to Live: In Kirito's own words, the ALF members in Episode 8 allowed Corvatz to lead them into a Hopeless Boss Fight like lemmings throwing themselves off a cliff. And Thinker is an even bigger example.
• Wilhelm Scream: Can be heard when a bunch of them are being Blown Across the Room by the boss.

Kibaou

"Beta testers?!"

Voiced by: Mackenzie "Hayabusa449" Murdock

A loudmouth and conspiracy theorist who blames the beta testers for being trapped in SAO, hijacks a strategy session early in the game, and causes more trouble later.

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• Adaptational Dumbass: The original Kibaou was already a moron, but the Abridged version makes him more of an exaggerated conspiracy theorist who thinks the beta testers are responsible for trapping the players in the game. When Diabel asks for evidence of his claims, Kibaou outright states he does not need any, and expects everyone to back him up.
• Adaptational Nice Guy: Unlike in canon, he doesn't try to accuse Kirito of letting Diabel die in this version, even though this Kirito was even more of an ass than the original ever was, giving him more of a reason to be spiteful towards the beta tester.
• Anti-Hero: Nominal Hero in Episode 2. He was on Diabel's side, but he was even more unsympathetic than Kirito. After his rise to power, he drops the "hero" label pretty quickly.
• Assassination Attempt: Tries to get his guild's deposed leader Thinker killed during a staged peace treaty. Thankfully, Thinker's lieutenant Yulier enlists the help of Kirito and Asuna to rescue him.
• Bad Liar: Told Thinker that he was willing to negotiate their leadership issues, but only if the peace talk was held inside a dungeon with a creepy Optional Boss lurking inside. The worst part? Thinker fell for it.
• Cannon Fodder: Since he "hijacked conversations to rant about his political views", he makes it to the front lines, much to his horror. He actually survives the raid, though.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: He may be a stupid asshole, but he survives the Floor 1 raid despite being on the front lines. He also goes on to become the leader of the ALF.
• Fantastic Racism: He hates beta testers for not helping people (read: him) clear the first floor, and blames them for getting everyone stuck in the game.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: If Diabel's exasperated reaction to his introduction is any indication. As dumb as most SAO players are, nobody listens to what this guy has to say. Yulier states this is part of why they didn't see his power-grab coming: they honestly didn't think anyone would follow him.
• From Nobody to Nightmare: His first and only onscreen appearance is in Episode 2 and is spent trash-talking SAO's beta testers and blaming them for getting everyone trapped in the game. Then in a classic display of Offstage Villainy, he joins the ALF and stages a violent coup that throws the entire guild into chaos.
• Insane Troll Logic:
  • Claims he doesn't need evidence to blame beta testers for anything, he just can.
  • It goes both ways; when Kirito states his Badass Longcoat somehow makes him a superior being than him, Kibaou agrees.
• It's All About Me: He tries to out the beta testers as traitors because he's bitter that they didn't teach him how to play the game, even though they did make a players' guide for him and the other newbies to read (though given what was written in it...).
• I Lied: Turns out he lied about the negotiation and only wanted to get Thinker killed by a boss. Everybody saw it coming save for Thinker himself.
• Jerkass: Much like in canon, although it's mitigated by the fact that Abridged Kirito actually is an asshole.
• Karma Houdini: Unless Yulier and Thinker did something about his Assassination Attempt, he essentially got away scot-free when Kirito logged every surviving SAO player out of the game.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: He claims to know with complete certainty that the beta testers are traitors. He has no evidence of this and it's soon made clear that he is only bitter about not having their advantage over the mechanics of the game.
• Oh, Crap!: Has one when the guide almost literally singles him out as a potential candidate for a meat shield, due to how annoying he is.
• Pet the Dog:
  • Despite all the grief he caused Diabel, he yells out his name as he's killed, implying he cared about his leader to an extent.
  • He also doesn't accuse Kirito of getting him killed like in canon, despite Kirito actually being responsible this time around.
• Right for the Wrong Reasons: Since the beta testers' guide turns out to be a bust, he's eventually proven correct about the beta testers (or at least one of them) intentionally hindering them. However, it doesn't make his argument any less stupid as he didn't even know the book existed, and it's clear he was speaking out of ignorance.
• Stupid Evil: He's a moronic conspiracy theorist who somehow rose to the ranks of the ALF and became a tyrant.
• Token Evil Teammate: The ALF is already filled with incompetent assholes, but Kibaou is the only one of them who actually attempted to kill another player.

Corvatz

"Very well! Watch closely, for one day, you shall tell your grandchildren of the day you witnessed the great Corvatz in action! Now, men! Group up and hit it till it dies!"

Voiced by: Alejandro Saab

A self-proclaimed master strategist, who has never failed to defeat a floor boss. Or succeeded in defeating a floor boss. He likes to speak in a Spanish accent despite being from Nagano.

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• 0% Approval Rating: His men are very open about their hatred for their incompetent General Failure, with one of them giving him an exhausted Precision F-Strike. Unsurprisingly, none of them cared to mourn him after his death.
• Adaptational Dumbass: He was already pretty dumb in canon for attempting to take on a floor boss with a handful of players. But he's even dumber here for not only doing that but also refusing to run when he's severely outclassed.
• Adaptational Wimp: He has no strategy to speak of to beat a boss beyond "hit it 'till it dies". Therefore, he lasts even less than his canon counterpart.
• Alas, Poor Villain: He wasn't really a villain; just a massive asshole, but his death causes Kirito to finally give in to his Chronic Hero Syndrome and save his men from a fatal end.
• Attack! Attack! Attack!: His iconic "brilliant strategy". It goes as well as you'd expect.
• Boisterous Weakling: He presents himself as a skilled, brave, noble and experienced leader and brilliant strategist, but in actuality, he's an extremely boastful, arrogant and egotistical noob with poor leadership skills, as he shows during his first fight.
• Bullying a Dragon: Well, a four-health-bars-sporting, giant-sword-wielding goat demon, but still applies.
• Damned by Faint Praise: He really is one of the greatest tactical minds the ALF has ever known. The bar is set that low.
• Determinator: While the same can't be said for his men, his warrior spirit is never shattered, (unlike literally everything else in his body).
• Drill Sergeant Nasty: He forces his men to march for hours while they listen to his guitar reverb. By the time they reach the boss room, they can barely stand still.
• Early-Bird Cameo: While there's no way to fully identify him from the crowd, he's implied to have been of Diabel's party members against Illfang in Episode 2, specifically the guy who proposes to "hit it 'till it dies" as a battle strategy.
• Face Death with Dignity: Despite how humiliating his defeat was, he goes out asking Kirito not to weep, as "the legend can never die", although mitigated by the fact that he might've simply been in denial.
• Fake Nationality: In-Universe. He's from Nagano, but he tries to pass off as a Hispanic commander to boost his men's morale.
• Foil: To Diabel; Although both players are brave guild leaders trying to clear the game's levels for the benefit of all players, and ultimately meet a tragic demise in their pursuit, they play opposite roles. Diabel is a noble yet besieged leader who often finds himself overwhelmed by the inadequacies of his subordinates. Corvatz, on the other hand, is an arrogant fool infamous among his men for his military endeavors. Moreover, while they both die in the arms of Kirito, Diabel willingly allows himself to die due to despair, even refusing a health potion from the beta tester. Conversely, Corvatz meets his end in an apparent state of denial, reassuring Kirito that he can never die right before he dies.
• General Failure: The only reason he was still alive in Episode 8 is because he hadn't yet attempted to fight anyone. Sure enough, when he does try...
• Gratuitous Spanish: He sounds Spanish, anyway, which surprises Asuna since she didn't know SAO has international servers. Another ALF member points out it doesn't; Corvatz is from Nagano and found an in-game item that makes Spanish guitar music play every time he talks. He's just really committed to the bit.
• Hollywood Tactics: In a Call-Back to Episode 2, his strategy to defeat the Gleam Eyes is to "group up, and hit it 'til it dies!" It doesn't end well for him. It's quite possible that he's the exact same guy from the Illfang briefing who suggested it in the first place.
• It's All About Me: He's a boastful narcissist who, for all his talk about honor, only cares about the glory that comes with being "The Saviour of Aincrad".
• Jerkass: He's a harsh leader to his men and a rude asshole to Kirito, Asuna and, Klein, made worse by the fact that he's little more than a Boisterous Weakling.
• Leeroy Jenkins: What he really is at heart. What else can you expect from a guy whose main strategy when fighting a big goat demon is to "hit it 'till it dies"? He doesn't even stop when the strategy fails the first time.
• Mauve Shirt: He gets some characterization as The Neidermeyer with a forced Hispanic accent before getting killed in his first episode.
• The Neidermeyer: His men don't think too highly of him as he forces them to march for hours straight and demands they fight a tough floor boss by just hitting it until it dies.
• Oblivious to Hatred: He's so delusional he believes his Hispanic general shtick boosts his men's spirits, even as said men are gasping for air and cursing him to his face.
• Pet the Dog: He really thought his Spanish guitar reverb item would increase his men's morale. He was wrong, but it's the thought that counts.
• Pride: He thinks of himself as the future saviour of Aincrad, and believes he will one day achieve legend status. He doesn't.
• Shadow Archetype: After his death, the equally arrogant (but considerably smarter) Kirito would not only go on to kill 'The Gleam Eyes himself, saving his men from anihilation, but he would also be accepted in Heathcliff's senior council and go on to become "the Hero of Aincrad", the title Corvatz died failing to obtain.
• Small Role, Big Impact: He dies in the same episode he's introduced, but his colossal failures as a general force Kirito to swoop in and save his men, finally surrendering to his Chronic Hero Syndrome.
• Too Dumb to Live: Really, it's a miracle this guy survived as long as he did (that is, around twenty seconds) against Gleam Eyes.
• Undignified Death: He dies just as he's telling Kirito that he can't die. Other than his reverb, he did not go out on a high note.
• We Hardly Knew Ye: While he gets more focus than in the original anime, he still doesn't make it past two scenes.

Yulier

"It all happened so fast. None of us saw it coming. I mean, would you? The man has the unbridled charisma of a chipotle enema!"

Voiced by: Alison "AliFluro" Jayce

The very, very loyal lieutenant of the ALF's former leader. She asks Kirito and Asuna to help her rescue Thinker from Kibaou in Episode 10, only to embarrass herself.

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• Adaptational Dumbass: The original Yulier was genuinely concerned about the trajectory of her guild, and her admiration for Thinker was (somewhat) earned. Here, she's an immature and borderline sycophantic apologist for her incompetent idiot of a leader.
• Adaptational Relationship Overhaul: In canon, Yulier and Thinker were Happily Married both in-game and IRL. Here, while she refers to him as "her man", he simply addresses her as "Lieutenant", implying it's more of a one-sided crush.
• Adaptational Jerkass: While her distress caused her to act somewhat unorthodox for an officer, canon Yulier never went as far as to threaten to beat up a child.
• Berserk Button: Badmouthing Thinker. And not only does Yui press it, but she smashes it with a hammer.
• Birds of a Feather: She's this with Thinker, being just as gullible as him.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She's introduced as a polite and well-spoken lady who is worried for the safety of her guild, but after being pressed by Yui, she's revealed to be an ill-tempered Womanchild who lusts after her boss and who frantically defends his incompetent actions with no self-awareness whatsoever.
• Bodyguard Crush: More like "lieutenant Crush" but still applies, though her devotion is somewhat misplaced.
• Broken Bird: By the time she reaches Kirito and Asuna, she's already breaking down in tears due to being worried for her lover.
• Everyone Can See It: Let's just say that her crush on Thinker is not well hidden, assuming she's actually trying to hide it in the first place.
• Female Gaze: The real reason she's so infatuated with Thinker. She's just not good at hiding it.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: She threatens to beat up a flippant Yui for calling her lover a dullard. Keep in mind Yui resembles an eight-year-old child.
• Horrible Judge of Character: She believes Thinker to be the most intelligent man she's ever known, and considers Kibaou to be cunning and charismatic. Worse, she thinks Kirito and Asuna are fit to help her rescue the former. The only time she's ever correct about someone is when she notes just how dysfunctional Kirito, Asuna and Yui are as a family.
• Hypercompetent Sidekick: Thinker is ultimately the one who's in charge, but when he's in a pickle, it's up to her to organize his rescue mission.
• Know When to Fold 'Em: When she's one inch away from facing Asuna's wrath after threatening Yui, she cleverly sits down and apologizes. It's one of the few smart decisions she makes in the series.
• The Lancer: To Thinker. She aids him in his fight against Kibaou's tyranny.
• Love Makes You Dumb: Her infatuation with Thinker leaves her a bit, shall we say, biased when it comes to evaluating his qualities. In the one instance where Thinker isn't immediately on her mind, she's shown to be surprisingly insightful.
• The Millstone: While trying to save Thinker, she accidentally draws out the boss hidden in the dungeon with her running and screaming, forcing Kirito to save her.
• Mirror Character: Her obsessive demeanor towards Thinker is very similar to Asuna's towards Kirito, though Yulier is much more blatant and less conscious about her infatuation, while Asuna hides hers behind a Tsundere front. Her sudden anger towards Yui also mirrors Asuna's many outbursts against her peers whenever she's pushed.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The aforementioned triggering of the floor boss ends with Yui having to "sacrifice herself" to defeat it. Subverted in Episode 13 when it was revealed she was never in any danger.
• Only Sane Woman: Compared to Kirito, Asuna and Yui; she's the only one who's worried at Yui's Troubling Unchildlike Behaviour, and is visibly troubled by Kirito's rampage against a pack of monsters.
• Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Subverted; Thinker's niceness is about his only apparent positive trait, but Yulier cites his supposed intelligence and bravery (and fine ass) as the main reasons for her devotion.
• Psycho Supporter: She threatens to beat up an 8-year-old girl for speaking out against her beloved Thinker.
• Undying Loyalty: To Thinker, for some reason.
• Womanchild: She obsesses over Thinker like a Fangirl would obsess over her favorite boy band, and she snaps whenever anyone questions her infatuation.
• Would Hurt a Child: "You wanna take this outside, kid?! I'll throw down with an eight-year-old! I don't give a fuck!"

Thinker

Little one, what are you doing?!

Voiced by: Chris "Faulerro" Tout

The ALF's deposed leader, who by the time we meet him has been reduced to crying while huddled in the fetal position at the bottom of a dangerous dungeon. Despite his moniker, he is not too bright.

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• Adaptational Dumbass: Canon Thinker was attempting to apprehend a criminal player and got lured into a trap, while Abridged Thinker was stupid enough to attend a peace talk with his rival, in a dungeon without bringing any weapons or items. It also doesn't even occur to him to try and warn Kirito, Asuna, or even Yulier about the hidden boss that has him trapped in the dungeon's safe room since he was told the dungeon has crappy wi-fi.
• Birds of a Feather: With Lieutenant Yulier. While it's unknown if he reciprocates her feelings, he's just as stupid as she is.
• Distressed Dude: He spends most of Episode 10 trapped in a dungeon, crying and huddled in a fetal position. Halfway through the episode, Kirito and Asuna are sent in to rescue him.
• The Ditz: His few minutes of screentime suggest this.
• Dumb Is Good: He's dumb as a rock, but he's also one of the politest characters in the series.
• Et Tu, Brute?: For some reason, he's completely flabbergasted by Kibaou's betrayal.
• Foil: To his successor Kibaou; They both served as airheaded leaders of the Aincrad Liberation Front, but while Kibaou was a gruff Jerkass who refused to trust anyone for childish reasons and who eventually became a dangerous tyrant. Thinker is a well-spoken gentleman who seems to believe in people's honesty to a fault, and who rose to become the leader of La Résistance.
• Flat Character: He has very little characterization on top of being a Ditzy Distressed Dude whose main deeds are more an Informed Attribute than anything else.
• Friend to All Children: He gets worried for Yui when she leaves cover to fight The Skull Reaper.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Seriously, how could he trust Kibaou of all people?
• Informed Ability: Played for Laughs. Yulier speaks wonders of his bravery and intellect, but she soon contradicts herself when detailing his most recent actions, which paint him as a complete moron. It's made crystal clear her opinion of him is rather biased due to her infatuation with him.
• Informed Attractiveness: It's all but stated the actual reason Yulier is infatuated with him is "his beautiful ass", to the point where she gets horny just thinking about him. However, from what little we see of him, he seems like a rather average-looking guy.
• Ironic Name: As Yui points out, for a guy named Thinker he's "something of a dullard." He is fully willing to attend a "peace talk" in a dungeon while bringing no weapons or items and promptly falls into a blatantly obvious trap.
• I Am Very British: Despite his low intelligence, he talks like an exaggeratedly well-spoken, well-educated Englishman.
  Thinker: "Yulier? Oh, thank goodness you're here, Lieutenant! Uh, be a dear and take care of this gangly fellow for me, would you? He's been blocking my way out all day."
• Nice Guy: For what's worth, he seems like a polite guy all around, wanting to negotiate a peace talk with Kibau despite the latter being an insufferable Jerkass.
• No-Respect Guy: Other than Yulier (who respects him a bit too much), everybody pokes fun at him for his stupidity.
• Prince Charmless: Due to her infatuation with him, Yulier sees him as The Ouji, but he really is this. While he does have some superficial charm in the form of his formal speech, he's an utter dullard who could rival Corvatz in terms of incompetence.
• Too Dumb to Live: The reason Kirito and Asuna initially refused to help him: He's completely blind to other people's lies, no matter how stupid and implausible they are. Kibaou takes advantage of this to try and get him killed.
• Token Good Teammate: While he's as stupid as the rest of them (or even worse), he's the only ALF leader who isn't a complete Jerkass or downright evil.
• Troubled Fetal Position: When Kirito spots him, this is the position he's described as having (although Kirito may have just been trolling Yulier).

Knights of the Blood Oath

General

Pictured: A Knight of the Blood Oath after trying to use a teleport crystal in a boss room.

The top guild in Sword Art Online, of which Asuna and Kirito become members, and the leaders of the effort to clear the game.

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• And I Must Scream: While trapped in a glitched boss floor, a guild member tried to exit with a teleport crystal that glitched him out and turned him into a Cronenbergian mess of twisted limbs and other mislocated body parts. By the time we see him, he's begging for a Mercy Kill.
• Broken Pedestal: After their leader Heathcliff turns out to have been Kayaba Akihiko the whole time, every respect they had garnered for him died in a flash, with one of them even attempting to kill him in a fit of rage.
• Et Tu, Brute?: After getting over their initial confusion, this is their reaction to the reveal of Heathcliff having been Kayaba the whole time.
• Hero of Another Story: They managed to put an end to Laughing Coffin and briefly make peace with "The King of Ashes". Both of these deeds are done offscreen, and the only enemy we see them engage ends up being a Zero-Effort Boss.
• Light Is Good: Their signature color is white, and most of them willingly risk their lives to clear the game for everyone else.
• Light Is Not Good: On the other hand, their leader was openly willing to exploit Asuna to advance the Guild's goals (offering her to Kirito and making her do a lewd calendar shoot) and had multiple sketchy people in their ranks, including Asuna herself, Kirito, Kuradeel, the mafia enforcer spokesman, Fluffles and Kayaba Akihiko himself. And most of these people were already known to be sketchy, even before their worst aspects came to light.
• Literal-Minded: At least three of them misinterpret Heathcliff's encouraging metaphors in Episode 11.
  Heathcliff: If we are to be victorious, we must fight as one. As a single sword.
  Schmitt: I feel like multiple swords would be more effective, sir.
  Heathcliff: N-no, you misunderstand. I’m not speaking literally. It’s a metaphor. For unity-
  Guard 1: Does it have to be a sword? Can’t we be, like, a single warhammer?
  Heathcliff: Look, the specific weapon doesn’t matter. It’s-
  Guard 2: My strength stat’s not high enough for hammers. Could we be a dagger instead?
• Oh, Crap!: The collective reaction when The Skull Reaper makes its entrance, followed by And There Was Much Rejoicing when it glitches out and dies seconds afterwards.
• Only Sane Man: While several of its top members have more than a few screws loose, they're shades more competent than most of the other players in the game and the ones putting in the most effort to free everybody trapped in it.
• Parental Abandonment: During the final boss raid, one of the tanks mentions having crippling abandonment issues with his father.
• Red Shirt: Both tanks (The Stoner and the guy with abandonment issues) get killed by The Skull Reaper seconds after it enters the picture.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Two of them attempt to flee when they see "the giant fuckin’ centipede made of ribcages and hatred" that is the Floor 75 Boss. They don't make it far.
• The Stoner: In Episode 11, it's implied the other tank had taken some of Kirito's weird plants from Episode 5 to prep for the boss fight, as he had bloodshot eyes and acted spaced out for most of the scene.
  Stoner: Wait. What if this is, like, one of those "meta-morphosis" things the commander was talking about? Like... the real boss... is the demons within ourselves.
• Uncertain Doom: The poor bastard who "cronemberged" was likely logged out of the game alongside everyone else once Kirito defeated Kayaba a few minutes later, but it's unknown if he survived in the horrid state he was, especially after getting soup spilled on him.
• Unusually Uninteresting Sight: The companion of the player who glitched out [see And I Must Scream above] didn't seem to grasp the seriousness of the situation, and instead made him some soup to calm him down.

Heathcliff

See here for his folder, but beware of unmarked spoilers.

Kuradeel

Kirito:"You look like Benjamin Button fucked an old catcher’s mitt. Like 4 inches of face stretched over 12 inches of skull. Like a moldy Jack O’ Lantern some frat guy barfed in and then crushed against his forehead because he was super drunk and thought it was a beer can and then immediately regretted every single life choice he ever made."

Voiced by: Mackenzie "Hayabusa449" Murdock

Asuna's bodyguard, who moonlights as a clingy stalker. He challenges Kirito to a duel and promptly makes a fool of himself. He is actually a fanboy of Laughing Coffin, seeking vengeance on Kirito for orchestrating their downfall.

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• Abhorrent Admirer: Even Asuna thinks he's too insane (or ugly) for her. Didn't stop him from stalking her in her sleep.
• Abusive Parents: Suggested as he mutters to himself after recovering from a blow.
  Kuradeel: Don't hit me mommy, you know it makes me hard...
• Adaptational Nice Guy: It's not much, but this incarnation of him actually has a personal reason (petty as it may be) to want to kill Kirito and Godfree beyond simply being deranged. He also doesn't pull an I Surrender, Suckers on Asuna like in the anime, though this was likely because she didn't let him.
• Adaptational Sympathy: His death is a very well-deserved one, but the implication that his mother used to beat him, as well as the fact that Kirito just won't stop mocking him for his Informed Deformity can add some sympathy to his death.
• Adaptational Wimp: He doesn't manage to get the drop on Asuna this time around, although to be fair, it's not like this Asuna was going to give him the chance.
• Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Like in canon, when Asuna beats him, he goes to his knees begging for mercy. Unlike in canon, however, Asuna is far less merciful and kills him on the spot.
• Ax-Crazy: The guy is a fan of Laughing Coffin, so... yeah.
• Berserk Button: Butchering the Bard's prose, as Godfree learns the hard way.
  Kuradeel: [whilst repeatedly stabbing Godfree] Wouldst thou shutteth the FUCK UP! I had to SIT and listen to you for MONTHS as you run Shakespeare through a wood chipper! Is that supposed to be endearing or something?!
• Bodyguarding a Badass: His protégée Asuna is clearly much more skilled than him, and from their interactions, it seems like she'd much rather not have him there. And this is before he's outed as a stalker.
• Bullying a Dragon: When Asuna comes in to Kirito's aid, he foolishly taunts her, only to end up on the receiving end of a vicious Curb-Stomp Battle which ends with a sword through his skull.
• Butt-Monkey: Asuna has little patience for him, and Kirito refuses to give him any respect.
• Dies Differently in Adaptation: Somewhat. In the original anime, Kirito kills him. Here, Asuna is the one who does him in. However, Asuna was actually the one who killed him in the original Web Novel.
• Dirty Coward: Since he knows he can't best Kirito, he opts for spiking his drink with paralysis instead. He also quickly folds and pleads for his life when Asuna comes in and wipes the floor with him, despite not showing that same compassion when he had Godfree at his mercy.
• Evil Counterpart: To Asuna. Both SAO players serve as impulsive and sadistic members of the Knights of The Blood Oath with tendency to stalk those they feel drawn to. However, there is one notable distinction between them: Asuna is an Anti-Hero whose primary objective is still to escape the game, and her more villainous actions often stem from emotional responses to certain events. In contrast, Kuradeel's malevolence is premeditated, and he takes great pleasure in embracing the role of a villain, in stark contrast to Asuna's desire to maintain a semblance of normalcy in front of everyone else. Both characters also have an alarmingly intense obsession with Kirito; however, Kuradeel's obsession is driven by a thirst for revenge, whereas Asuna's stems from Mad Love. Fittingly, Kuradeel's demise at her hands mirrors Godfree's death at ''his'' hands.
• Evil Is Hammy: He appears to be trying to invoke Johnny Black during his torture of Kirito, although he's not as effective and instead comes off as him trying too hard.
• Evil Is Petty: Sadistically kills Godfree because he annoyed him with his roleplaying, and admitted that part of his motivation for killing Kirito was in part because he humiliated him during a duel.
• Fanboy: He's revealed to be one of Laughing Coffin, as opposed to being an actual member like his canon counterpart. That doesn't make him any less dangerous, but it does give Kirito more ammunition to mock him with.
  • He seems to be one specifically to Johnny Black, whom he appears to be trying to emulate with his hammy demeanor and his Master Poisoner tactics. He doesn't seem to be as effective, though. Ironically, Johnny himself was a Loony Fan of one of his victims as well.
  • To a lesser extent, he shares Red-Eyed XaXa's Slasher Smile when threatening his victims, and seems to be trying to invoke Jeffrey's Holy Hitman act when interacting with Kirito.
    Kuradeel: Your reckoning comes from a far greater sin.
• Foil: To Rosalia, the antagonist of Episode 4: They both stand out as rather sadistic SAO players whose behavior drove away a former guildmate (Rosalia tried to kill Silica's pet, while Kuradeel stalked Asuna while she slept), and who's killed by their respective Good Counterparts, but they're polar opposites:
  • Rosalia was a Femme Fatale who served as the undisputed leader of her guild, while Kuradeel was a Gonk who served as a bodyguard to Asuna, before turning against her.
  • While both are Faux Affably Evil, Kuradeel was a murderous lunatic who killed his victims by himself, while Rosalia was a Soft-Spoken Sadist who made her men kill other players for her.
  • Though both of them try to kill Kirito at different points in his journey, Kuradeel comes much closer to actually ending Kirito's life thanks to his careful planning, but was continuously humiliated by Kirito's insults, and by the end of Episode 9, Kirito had all but forgotten about him. Rosalia, on the other hand, couldn't leave so much as a scratch on Kirito's body, but left a massive scar on Kirito's mental state through her brutal deconstruction of his character, which haunted him up until his full redemption in Episode 11.
  • Rosalia didn't budge even after being killed by Kirito, letting out one final Dying Curse before dying, while Kuradeel went out screaming and begging Asuna for his life.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: It doesn't kill him, but during his "duel" with Kirito, his own dagger comes down on his head after Asuna slaps it into the air.
• Hypocrite: He complains about being trapped in SAO, but he's a player killer who targets both the best fighter in the game and a high-ranking member of one of its only competent guilds, meaning he's done little but hinder the progress of those who want to escape the game.
• If I Can't Have You…: Downplayed when compared to his canon counterpart, as he's far more eager to kill Asuna after she shows up to stop him, even if she was his Lust Object. This implies he gave up on her after she got a dagger stuck in his head.
• Informed Ability: From what we see of her, it's not like Asuna was in need of a bodyguard anyway, much less someone whose go-to method of killing was poison. Lampshaded when Godfree tells Kirito that Kuradeel has decades of experience with the game, only for Kuradeel to meekly state that he's actually in his twenties (on top of the game only being out for two years at the time).
• Informed Deformity: While he's certainly not winning any beauty pageants, he's not quite the Gonk Kirito makes him out to be.
• It's All About Me: Even though Kirito was one of the best members of his guild and a very valuable asset for those who wanted to clear the game, Kuradeel still tries to kill him over some petty squabble.
• Karmic Death: This time around, it's Asuna (his previous protegee and the victim of his stalking) who offs him. According to Something Witty Entertainment, this was the main reason for the change. Furthermore, he also gets executed while pleading for his life after being given a Hope Spot by his killer, similarly to the way he killed Godfree.
• Laughing Mad: As he steps in to kill Godfree, whom he loathes for his butchering of Shakespeare's characters.
• Light Is Not Good: He sports the traditional Nights Of The Blood Oath white armor, but he's a deranged psychopath.
• Master Poisoner: Spikes his victims drinks with paralysis potion before killing them so he can draw their deaths out as much as possible.
• Mugging the Monster: He challenges Kirito to a duel in Episode 8, unaware of the possibility that he might be in over his head.
• Murder Is the Best Solution: Your protegee doesn't appreciate you stalking her? Your guildmate just won't stop ruining the Shakespeare prose with his hideous roleplaying? Did that scumbag Kirito get your favorite serial killer guild disbanded with his stupid business advice, on top of constantly degrading and humiliating you for your ugly face? Have you considered… murder?
• Not-So-Harmless Villain: He initially seems like an Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain in Episode 8, but he becomes one of the three SAO characters (the others being The Gleam Eyes boss and Kayaba himself) to bring Kirito's health into the red.
• No-Respect Guy:Kayaba plays circus music when he challenges Kirito, and the latter isn't any less merciful when humiliating him.
• Pay Evil unto Evil: Kirito wasn't exactly his most innocent victim, though this is Downplayed considering he had a much pettier reason for killing him.
• Psychopathic Manchild: He tries to kill Kirito because he got his favorite cult of player killers disbanded, and he conveys these events to him as if he were talking about his favorite show getting cancelled.
  Kirito: Let me guess. You prefer their early work?
  Kuradeel: AND WHAT OF IT?!
• Revenge: While Kirito's Jerkass attitude is an unexpected side benefit, the main reason he wants to kill him is that Kirito got his beloved PK guild killed.
• Sadist: His Evil Laugh as he's killing Godfree and his slow torturing of Kirito should be enough evidence of this.
• Shadow Archetype: He's a lunatic who has a crush on Asuna and later tries to kill her boyfriend out of hate, but he's killed by a vengeful Asuna due to underestimating her. In the later arc, an employee of Asuna's father, Nobuyuki Sugou, finds himself lusting for Asuna as well, but is much more meticulous in his plan to make Asuna his "wife" while crushing Kirito's spirits at the same time, using a brainwashing program to force her into submissiveness.
• Slasher Smile: Once he reveals his true colors.
• Smug Snake: He has a rather overinflated opinion of his own abilities and has a tendency to look down on people who can and will kick his ass.
• The Sociopath: He's an entitled sadist who blames Kirito for all of his problems and who idolizes a cult of murderers. He also stalks his protégée Asuna at night, tries to kill her and her boyfriend after being humiliated, and gleefully murders his friend because he finds his quirks annoying.
• Stalker with a Crush: His actions went "a little" beyond what was acceptable for a bodyguard. Especially breaking into Asuna's house at night.
• Stupid Evil: He doesn't seem to be very bright.
  Kuradeel: (after realizing Kirito severs his sword by its handle) I... feel like this was longer.
• Tattooed Crook: As befitting for a Fanboy, he has the Laughing Coffin logo tattooed on his forearm.
• Villainous Breakdown: He was already angry at Kirito for insulting his being a fanboy of Laughing Coffin, but when Asuna comes at him, he loses all semblance of his pride and begs her not to kill him.
• Younger Than They Look: Would you have guessed just from looking at him that he's 26?

Godfree

"Now! Come hither, young squire! Let us avaunt for adventure and a valuable learning experience! Ha ha!"

Voiced by: Anthony "AntfishFTW" Sardinha

A senior member of the Knights of the Blood Oath, who puts Kirito through some team-building exercises that are ultimately unsuccessful. He's also a role-player who speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.

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• Adaptational Dumbass: Here, it takes him longer to grasp that Kuradeel is actually trying to kill him, initially believing his poisoning of his drink to be a harmless prank.
• Adaptational Personality Change: The original Godfree was still somewhat of a Large Ham, but he was far more serious. He also didn't speak in Ye Olde English.
• Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Once he realizes Kuradeel`s betrayal isn't roleplay, he drops his act to nervously plead for his life. It doesn't save him.
• Big Fun: He's always very active and quirky, and is a bit on the heavy side.
• The Big Guy: The largest guy shown in the Knights of the Blood Oath.
• Cool Big Bro: Judging by his demeanor, he seems to be trying to be this for everyone else in SAO, even if he fails.
• Et Tu, Brute?: While it takes a while for him to process what is happening, he had this reaction on his face moments before Kuradeel stabs him.
• Foil: To his former guildmate Kuradeel; Godfree is a large, fun-loving buffoon who takes insults in stride, and who serves as the peacemaker of his guild. Kuradeel, meanwhile, is a slim, neurotic psychopath who holds a deadly grudge against all those who embarrass him, and who stabs people (including Godfree) at the slightest provocation.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: He's only shown interacting with Kirito, Asuna and Kuradeel, and their opinion of him ranges from "I do not care for you" to "You'll die screaming". Despite this, Kirito is still shocked at his death.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: The original version of the scripts for Episodes 9 and 10 had Asuna learn of his death and Heathcliff inquiring about it respectively, but said scenes were cut, making him this trope.
• Gentle Giant: He towers over both Kirito and Kuradeel, but he's the nicest of the trio (and possibly of the entire Knights of the Blood Oath guild).
• Hope Spot: After he vows to stop roleplaying for good, Kuradeel makes it look like he's sparing him, much to Godfree's relief, only to sadistically ram his sword into his back again.
• Horrible Judge of Character: He thinks Kuradeel spiking his and Kirito's drinks with paralysis poison is just a prank, and doesn't understand that he's about to be killed for "running Shakespeare through a wood chipper".
• Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Kuradeel does indeed put the sword down... on his back.
• Innocently Insensitive: He attempts to defend Kuradeel by claiming that his old and haggard appearance is the result of his age, only for Kuradeel to meekly state that he's only 26.
• Killed Mid-Sentence: Kuradeel, tired of his Motor Mouth, offs him before he has a chance to finish his last speech.
• Kill the Cutie: Kuradel finds him obnoxious and kills him late in Chapter 9.
• Large Ham: He's role-playing as The Bard, so he's bound to be this.
• Manchild: He seems to be in his mid-30s, but he quotes Shakespeare during missions like an excitable child playing a role. It's implied to be either a coping mechanism or a failed attempt at cheering his friends up.
• Mauve Shirt: Gets a little more characterization than his canon counterpart, but it doesn't save him.
• Motor Mouth: Comes with being The Roleplayer. Kirito gets sick of it five seconds after they get introduced.
• Nice Guy: While a bit socially awkward, all he really wants is for everyone in his guild to enjoy their time in SAO as much as they can, and he tries to persuade Kuradeel to make amends with Kirito.
• Oblivious to Hatred: He had no idea Kuradeel hated his impersonations so much. When the latter snaps and tries to kill him for it, he vows to quit his bard shtick, but it doesn't save him.
• Oh, Crap!: When Kuradeel stabs him, he briefly breaks character in shock.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Drops his roleplaying act when begging for his life. It doesn't help.
• The Pollyanna: Out of the entire SAO player base, he's easily the most optimistic guy around, and deals with his situation in a healthy (if obnoxious) manner.
• Right for the Wrong Reasons: He had no idea of how right he was when he told Kirito to "be ready for some trust falls."
• The Roleplayer: Speaks like a Shakespearean actor who walked right off the stage? Check. Kirito and Kuradeel both find it annoying and if Asuna's tone when she introduces him is anything to go on, so does everybody else. He instantly drops it when he realizes Kuradeel is about to kill him for it. Not that it helps.
• Shoo Out the Clowns: He's not the only comic relief character in the series by a long shot, but he is one of the few who intentionally tries to play the clown for everyone else's enjoyment (or so he thinks). He gets killed by Kuradeel late in Episode 9 to showcase how insane the latter truly is.
• Too Good for This Sinful Earth: This poor man genuinely thought everyone could just get along and have fun in the "death game". He pays for his naivetée with his life.
• We Hardly Knew Ye: Lasts only three scenes.
• Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: As part of his Bard impersonation. Kuradeel refers to it as "running Shakespeare through a woodchipper".

Other SAO Players

Nishida

"Why hello there, kids! Beautiful weather we’re having!"

Voiced By: Chase "Coffinjockey" Corbin

An elderly fisherman who lives near Kirito and Asuna's cabin who totally doesn't bang fish

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• Adaptational Jerkass: The original Nishida was somewhat eccentric, but he wasn't a fish fucker.
• Affably Evil: "Evil" might be debatable, but he's a nice friendly old zoophile who wants to connect with his neighbors.
• Bestiality Is Depraved: Kirito certainly seems to think so, and hightails it with Asuna before things get too squicky between him and his fishes.
• Better with Non-Human Company: "At least the fish are always here for me".
• Cool Old Guy: Asuna refers to him as a nice guy, even if she rethinks her statement when she finds out about his hobbies.
• Demoted to Extra: Here, Kirito and Asuna are too creeped out by his sexual tenancies to hang around him.
• Dirty Old Man: While it's not made clear if he had any unsavory intentions for Kirito and Asuna, he clearly has them with his (hopefully dead) fishes.
• Friend to All Children: Creepy as his sexual preferences are, he is very nice to Kirito and Asuna, and is dismayed when he unintentionally scares them away. That is if he didn't have any ulterior motives regarding them, of course.
• I Just Want to Have Friends: His dismayed reaction when Kirito and Asuna flee from him implies this, as does his statement that his fish "are always there for [him]".
• Loners Are Freaks: No human wants to interact with him, let alone hang out with him, due to his strange sexual preferences.
• Lovable Pervert: He's a zoophile and he's quite affable for an SAO player. Though Kirito doesn't find him so "lovable".
• Not What It Looks Like: Says this word for word when trying to convince Kirito and Asuna not to leave him. Whatever scenario he was imagining, the reality wasn't much prettier.
• Refuge in Audacity: He's not subtle about his sexual tenancies, even fishing with no pants on.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: In Kirito's dream in Episode 12, Asuna refers to him as a nice old man "who totally doesn't bang fish".

Sasha

"OHHH! SO I CAN TALK NOW?! IT'S OKAAAY FOR I, SASHA TO TALK?! YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME WAS SASHA, DID YOU? DID YOU?!"

Voiced By: Hayden Daviau

A woman who runs SAO's orphanage, looking after the game's youngest players. At least until Kirito and Asuna show up and try to take it over in Episode 10.

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• Adaptational Wimp: Zig-Zagged. The original Sasha was far less of a pushover, willing to defend herself against pushy ALF members. Here, she's reduced to a glorified butler within seconds of meeting Kirito and Asuna. With that said, she does have a breaking point, and threatens to stab Kirito after he calls her names.
• Badass Preacher: She's dressed for the part, and is one of the few people to successfully intimidate Kirito into backing off from an insult. Keep in mind, even Laughing Coffin couldn't do that.
• Beware the Nice Ones: She's a very quiet and kind person, but even she can be pushed too far.
• Comical Angry Face: She makes one during her rant, complete with a flush and a popping vein.
• Embarrassing Nickname: Since Kirito doesn't seem to care about her, he takes to calling her "Freckles". It pisses her off to no end.
• Extreme Doormat: Within minutes of meeting them, Sasha is reduced to serving tea while Kirito claims to be running her orphanage, and he even credits Asuna with making the beverage. Sasha meekly goes along with it, until she goes ballistic.
• Everyone Has Standards: Spineless as she is, after being ignored for too long, she snaps and flips the table.
• Flipping the Table: She does this after her Rage Breaking Point.
• Friend to All Children: Instead of helping the other players with raids or levelling up herself, she spends her time trapped in SAO caring for the children who are trapped with her, and even runs an orphanage of sorts in the Town of Beginnings.
• Good Shepherd: She's dressed like a priest, and is a maternal figure for most of the kids in the game.
• In-Series Nickname: Gets nicknamed "Freckles" by Kirito since he never bothered to find out her real name.
• Large Ham: What she becomes during her rant...
  Sasha: OHHH! SO I CAN TALK NOW?! IT'S OKAAAY FOR I, SASHA TO TALK?! YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME WAS SASHA, DID YOU? DID YOU?!
• Mama Bear: You wouldn't believe it at first, but she single-handedly reclaims her orphanage after Kirito pisses her off.
• Nerd Glasses: She has a pair of these.
• Nice Girl: Much like in canon, she helps take care of the children who are trapped in the game.
• Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Other than her table flip, we don't get to see what she did to Kirito and Co to kick them out of her orphanage.
• Only Sane Man: She's easily the sanest person, constantly pointing out the common sense that has slipped Kirito, Asuna, and Yulier.
• Rage Breaking Point: What finally pushes her too far is when, after taking over her life, Kirito calls her "Freckles."
• Parental Substitute: She's this for the kids in her orphanage, as most of them still have parents IRL.

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