Mishonh From God trilogy
Sara Osborne
The author, narrator and main character of the story. She is a 13 year old girl who "loves America and God and the Constantution." She is deathly afraid of becoming a "lesban" and aspires to stay straight. She greatly admires and cares for her best friend Lauren (but as a friend, not a lesbian lover.)- Abusive Parents: It's implied in the first story, given how Sara mentions that her parents favor Josh over her in Lauren's chapter. The sequel ramps the implications up; she claims that her dad barely pays attention to her, she bases one of the insults Chrom hurls at a post-Face–Heel Turn Lucina (claiming that he would have forced his wife to have her aborted if he wasn't a Christian) off of something her own dad has told her, and her mom (apparently a nice woman in a bad situation, though Sara doesn't understand this) fears what will happen if he finds out about Sara being gay.
- Anti-Hero: She is a very hateful person who lacks redeeming qualities, aside from the from the fact that she opposes Satan.
- Armored Closet Gay: The story shows she is pretty obviously attracted to her female friend Lauren and Lauren's chapter confirms they were dating. Much of The REEL Sekwel's sudden Face–Heel Turn is provoked by the real Lauren finding a new girlfriend. Sara vehemently denies this, though.
- Author Avatar: Obviously.
- Brought Down to Normal: The main plot point in 'The REEL Sekwel!' is that God and Jesus were kidnapped by Satan, so Sara can't use her God powers.
- The Dreaded: Even Satan is afraid of her.
- Dull Surprise: Her response to something surprising is usually just "cool" or "ono".
- Easily Forgiven: Sara, over the course of three stories, does many atrocious, unforgivable deeds. Any punishment she receives is a slap on the wrist by comparison.
- In the finale of the third story, she is forgiven for her non-homophobia misdeeds by finally accepting that she is a lesbian.
- Failed a Spot Check: Is bad at noticing very obvious things, like the British army approaching her or Godzilla on the horizon.
- Freudian Excuse: It's heavily implied in the Lauren chapter that at least some of her actions stem from her desire to gain her parents' approval over Josh.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Sara goes to extreme lengths to prove she is not a lesbian. In the sequel, for example, she kisses Shulk solely to prove she is totally 100% straight.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Sara tries to come off as this. Her actions in the story suggest otherwise.
- Idiot Hero: Does poorly in school and is absurdly easy to trick.
- In Love with Love: She constantly switches boyfriends throughout the story.
- Invincible Hero: She curb-stomps almost everyone she faces. Even after her powers are removed, she's heavily protected by Plot Armor.
- It's All About Me: Author!Sara outright admits she gets bored with writing about anyone other than herself.
- Jerkass: The biggest one in the story.
- Likes Older Women: Gender flipped. She, at age 13, hooks up with Marth, Link, and Cloud Strife, who are 17-19, 16-18, and 21 respectively. Played straight when the older Lauren reveals that Sara was actually dating her in real life when she wrote the story.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: In spades.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Author!Sara's wealthy father threatens to withdraw his donations to the school unless they improve her grades.
- Shotguns Are Just Better: One of her weapons is her dad's "shitgun".
- The Social Darwinist: Made obvious by her opinions about poor people and other races.
- Transparent Closet: Sara denies being a lesbian despite going on about how pretty Lauren and girls in general are.
- "Well Done, Daughter!" Girl: The Lauren chapter reveals that she secretly resents how Josh is much more popular and beloved than her in real life.
Misspellings: None.
Lauren
The author's best friend who also appears as herself in the story. Sara totally isn't attracted to her.- Art Shift: The chapter written by her is in a style very different from Sara's.
- Bare-Fisted Monk: She is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.
- Face–Heel Turn: In the sequel.
- Invincible Hero: Can single-handedly win matches despite not having powers from God. Sara writes her as an example of this to show that Sara is not a Mary-Sue.
- Old Shame: The ‘real’ Lauren (who is actually just as fictional as the one in the story proper) would eventually edit the chapters she wrote to add a note “to ignore everything good I say about Sara in here“, and claiming to have been “blinded by love”.
- One-Drop Rule: She is half-black, and hides this fact from Sara's bigoted family.
Josh
Sara's older brother who appears as an ally in her story.- Aloof Ally: He will protect Sara, but he refuses to officially join the other Conservatives.
- Anti-Hero: Portrayed as one in contrast to Sara... despite the fact that his behavior isn't so different from hers.
- The Fettered: He doesn't listen to anybody's authority... except God's.
- Guns Akimbo: Does this with assault rifles and rocket launchers.
- I Know Madden Kombat: Uses his football skills in battle.
- Jerkass: Towards Author!Sara as well as in general.
- Jerk Jock: He was a linebacker on his high school football team.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: He punches a Mexican man in the face for not speaking English.
Misspellings: None.
God
God himself is a Conservative in this story.- Big Good: Ostensibly.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Strikes down half a room of students for booing at him.
- God Is Evil: Take away Protagonist-Centered Morality and you have a version of God who is petty, kills children, and plots to change the outcome of the Civil War. And yes, that means reinstating slavery.
- Out of Focus: In the reboot since Sara isn't as strongly religious in it.
- Sophisticated as Hell: One of his first lines in the story is "lol ur a moran".
- Would Hurt a Child: The students he kills in the first chapter can't be any older than fourteen.
Misspellings: None.
Marth
Sara's first boyfriend who protects her from Samus.- Face–Heel Turn: The Libruls turn him gay after he is defeated by Samus and brought to Subspace.
- Out of Character: Pretty much comes with existence in this universe.
- Pretty Boy: Is described as looking like a fusion between Jacob Black and Justin Bieber... with blue hair.
Misspellings: Math, Matt, Mart, Mark
Link
Sara's second boyfriend after Marth is kidnapped by Samus.- Ass Shove: He pours super glue in his butt to keep Satan and Obama from turning him gay.
- He-Man Woman Hater: Orders Samus to listen to him because he is a man.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Saves Sara from being executed by the British military. Three chapters later, he is found imprisoned in Subspace.
- Out of Character: Despite his usual lack of character in canon, this probably isn't how any incarnation of the hero acts.
- Unexplained Recovery: Somehow survives being shot by firing squad.
Misspellings: Lunk, Lin, Limp, Kink
Ike
One of Marth's friends alongside Link- He-Man Woman Hater: Backs Link up for Samus to listen to them.
- Love Interest: To Lauren. She doesn't reciprocate because she uses the double dates with him as bonding time with Sara. She also doesn't bend that way.
- Out of Character: This is Mishonh from God.
Misspellings: Icke, Ick, Oak
Lucina
One of the new Smashers introduced in The REEL Sekwel.Satan
The main antagonist of the story and the leader of the liberals, atheists, and lesbians who oppose Sara.- Big Bad: Can't get much badder than Satan himself.
- Bring Me My Brown Pants: His initial response when he sees Evil Clone Sara.
- Devil in Disguise: Is revealed to have done this as Abraham Lincoln. (This also counts as a Historical Villain Upgrade of the highest order for Abraham Lincoln.)
- Idiot Ball: Does absolutely nothing to stop Sara and the Conservatives from spying on him.
- Unexplained Recovery: Somehow returns in the sequel despite being decapitated.
Misspellings: Santa, Satin, Stan, Santana, Staten
Barack Obama / Tabuu
Satan's second in command.- Card-Carrying Villain: Brags about his villainy to Sara.
- Dirty Communist: Has a pair of pajamas with Lenin, Stalin and Marx with hearts around them.
- The Dragon
- President Evil
- The Reveal: Is revealed to be the true identity of Tabuu early on.
Misspellings: Brak Osama, Obummer, Ibama, Barracks Epona, Barak Ovary
Mr. Jonson
Sara's atheist science teacher who has a serious bone to pick with her. In the reboot, Mr. Jonson is the school's principal instead.- Card-Carrying Villain: Brags about how atheists will send all Christians to "deaf panells" one day.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Gives Sara an F and sends her to detention for asking him a question in class.
- Flat-Earth Atheist: To the point where when God walks into his classroom, he outright says to his face that he isn't real.
- Hot Teacher: Many of Sara's classmates have crushes on him.
- Jerkass
- Mad Scientist: He created a clone of Sara, then resurrected the other three members of the Four Horsemen from the dead to create Goalith.
Misspellings: None, unless his name was supposed to be Mr. Johnson.
Becky
A glasses-wearing student of Mr. Jonson who Sara hates.- Fairest of Them All: Resents Sara for how pretty she is.
- Gonk: She apparently has zits so big that they take up half her body.
- Hollywood Pudgy: Is described as "morbadly obase" for wearing size 6 pants.
- Informed Attribute: She is described as being very "stooped," yet she is competent enough to be Mr. Jonson's assistant.
- Kevlard: Her body is so fat that she is impervious to swords and she can deflect bullets.
- Smart People Wear Glasses: Wears glasses and helps Mr. Jonson with his experiments, despite what the narration tries to claim about her.
Misspellings: None
Katie
Lauren's girlfriend in the sequel.- Gag Nose: Big enough for Sara to see from miles away, apparently. She even weaponizes it.
- Psycho Lesbian: Comes with the territory of being post-Face–Heel Turn Lauren's girlfriend.
- Sinister Schnoz: Big-nosed and supports her girlfriend's schemes.
Misspellings: Kairi, Kayti, Kaytee, Kaylee
Goalith
A giant created from the DNA of the deceased Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong, and King George III.- The Brute
- Gratuitous Foreign Language: All of his dialogue combines Gratuitous German and Gratuitous Japanese with British obscenities.
- Heroic Build: Has a muscular build to match his strength.
- Super Serum: A more mundane example than most, but his huge muscles and immense strength are due to steroids replacing his blood.
- Super-Strength
- Too Many Halves: Is half-British, half-German, and half-Asian all at the same time.
Misspellings: Goaleth, Goileth, Goaluth, Goalth, Geliath
Adolf Hitler
The "presadent of Germeny" during World War II who allegedly also formed the Soviet Union after being defeated. He is one of the three "worst Communists in history" that was resurrected by Satan to aid him.- Card-Carrying Villain
- Drugs Are Bad: Sara berates him for smoking weed.
- Gratuitous German
- Poke the Poodle: Shows his evilness by... smoking pot. He won't stop because he's evil.
- The Stoner: He claims that before changing Germany's name to the Soviet Union, he changed it to "Dutchland" so he can smoke weed in Amsterdam every day.
Misspellings: Adulf Hitlur, Adolg Hetlure, Hutler, Hitlar
Chairman Mao Zedong
The "president of Asia" who bombed Pearl Harbor and is the father of Kim Jong-Il. He is resurrected by Satan to aid him. Notable for being the only actual Communist out of the four.- Asian Speekee Engrish: Of the Japanese Ranguage variety.
- Interchangeable Asian Cultures: Mao himself is Chinese, but he uses very Japanese ninjas and samurai as his minions. He also rides Godzilla into battle and does the Gangnam Style dance when he is first resurrected.
Misspellings: Charmen Moa, Charmans Mow, Charmans Moo, Mosey Dong, Charming Moai, Cheerman Mow, Charmun Mos
King George the Third
The "president of Britishland." He is resurrected by Satan as one of his four "ultimate weapons" against Sara.- Culture Police: Allegedly renamed soccer to football and possibly outlawed American football from being played in Britain.
- Did Not Do the Bloody Research: Par for the course for any British character in the story.
- Evil Brit
- Historical Villain Upgrade: He is behind Jesus' crucifixion in this story.
- Verbal Tic: Says "bloody" every other bloody word.
Misspellings: King Jorge the Thard, King Jorge the Thud, King Jorge the Turd
Mr. Jonson
See Teh LibrulsSamus Aran
This version of Samas Aran is a perverted liberal who constantly hits on Sara and tries to turn her into a "lesban."- Lady Looks Like a Dude: In her armor. At least, Sara seems to think so.
- Out of Character: Samus is warped into a depraved, perverted lesbian for this fanfic.
- Psycho Lesbian
- Serial Rapist: She tries to "rap" Sara more than once.
- Unsettling Gender-Reveal: Sara views her removing her armor as this.
- The Vamp: Often tries to seduce Sara.
Misspellings: Samas Erin, Samasa
Wario
Samus' teammate in her first battle.- Evil Vegan
- Out of Character: Greedy Anti-Role Model Wario refuses to eat meat due to his political party's ideology.
- Out of Focus: Only has a prominent role in one chapter.
- Straw Vegan: He won't even bite other Smashers because he won't eat meat.
Misspellings: Waro, Waryo, Wart, Warop
Ridley
Taylor Swift's bodyguard in the original, an agent of Antifa in the reboot.- Obfuscating Stupidity: Claims he forgot how to fly when he sabotages Sara's first match.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: His attempts to hide his allegiance with Antifa leave much to be desired. Naturally, Sara falls for it.
- Sudden Sequel Heel Syndrome: Becomes an antagonist in the reboot after guarding Sara's favorite musician in the original.
Misspellings: Ridlay, Rildey, Ready, Riddle
Master Hand
The one in charge of the usual goings-on at the Smash mansion such as setting up matches and disciplining fighters who break the rules.- Intolerable Tolerance: From Sara's point of view. He urges Sara to be more tolerant, but she views it as trying to suppress her ideals.
- Only Sane Man: Certainly comes off as this.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Zig-zagged. He punishes Sara for genuinely awful things she did... but the punishments are quite minor, like forbidding her from participating in any more matches for a certain amount of time.
Misspellings: Mister Han, Mister Hanned, Mastar Hend, Muster Hen, Mister Ham, Mastet Hadn, Mister Hond, Matterhorn
Crazy Hand
Master Hand's (slightly) more unhinged counterpart. He too oversees the Smash Mansion.- Greed: He is bribed into betraying Master Hand.
- Heel–Face Turn: Joins the Conservatives after being bribed.
- Intolerable Tolerance: Shares Master Hand's views on tolerance.
Misspellings: Crappy Hanes, Crazy Hind, Crazie Hen
Melanie
The true author of the story with the power to freeze time. She makes her debut in the third story.- A Day in the Limelight: Becomes the protagonist of the third story's finale.
- Author Avatar: Natch.
- Author Powers: Unlike most examples, they can malfunction. Said malfunction sets off the final story arc.
- Time Stands Still: Her preferred power out of that set.
Masahiro Sakurai
That Sakurai.- The Ace: Parodied. All those abilities the Smashers have? He can use them in real life.
- Arc Villain: The final arc's main antagonist, but he is completely unaffiliated with the Libruls.
- Fun with Subtitles: Speaks Japanese, but Melanie understands him by reading his subtitles.
- Hostile Show Takeover: Hijacks the author's notes after he copies Melanie's powers.
- Physical God: He somehow manages to become even more powerful than the author.
- Power Copying: Uses Kirby's inhaling technique to duplicate Melanie's Author Powers.
- Ret-Gone: Once he has author powers, he erases entire franchises from existence.
- Stealth Mentor: Attacks one of Sara's friends to force her to accept being a lesbian.
Mishonh From Trump
Sara Osborne
The rebooted version of Sara remains a hardcore conservative who isn’t a lesban. Unlike the original, this Sara is more driven by politics, though she is still a Christian.- A Nazi by Any Other Name: In one chapter, she states that globalists should be sent to concentration camps and killed in gas chambers. Her description of globalists also happens to evoke quite a few Jewish stereotypes.
- Adaptational Personality Change: She still falls victim to Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?, but unlike her original counterpart, she doesn't instantly claim a male smasher as her boyfriend in order to prove this. It takes 13 chapters before any male expresses an attraction towards her (Male!Corrin), and 11 more chapters for her to actually start dating someone (Joker).
- Adaptational Villainy: This Sara is a much more despicable person than the original, and performs a fair bit more vile acts, such as expressing genocidal beliefs, attempted infantcide, ordering police brutalities, and making Isabelle cry.
- Adaptational Wimp: A downplayed example. This Sara doesn’t have god powers, but she still does end up doing most of the fighting herself, leaving everyone else Out of Focus.
- Author Avatar: A trait she shares with the original Sara.
- Damsel in Distress: Courtesy of Dharkon in Chapter 19.
- Jerkass: She ruins Becky and Isabelle's bake sale because they were raising money for the poor. This causes Isabelle to run off crying.
- Only Sane Man: In chapter 17, she’s the only one to be suspicious of Dracula handing out free food.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: Is probably even worse than the original Sara in this regard. Not only is she motivated by more overtly political ideals, but her father is a racist police chief and she fully supports him.
- Rescue Romance: Starts dating Joker after he saves her from Soros' lair.
- Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: Instead of being wealthy, Sara's father in the reboot uses his position as police chief to frame any teachers who try to give his daughter bad grades.
- Stalker with a Crush: No matter how much she tries to deny it, her real-life interactions with Becky give off this vibe.
- Static Stun Gun: She has a police taser in her arsenal, courtesy of her father.
- Tsundere: Behaves this way towards Becky (not that she'll admit it).
- Would Hurt a Child: Attempts to kill Obama when he’s not even a day old.
Ridley
A large dragon who was Sara's teammate in her first match. Seems to have some kind of bowel problem, which he refuses to seek medical attention for. It's later revealed that he's the mysterious Antifa Dragon that's been fighting Sara and her allies.- Forgot I Could Fly: A literal example, in that he states this is why he failed to save Sara from falling in their first match together. It's actually a case of Obfuscating Stupidity.
- Frame-Up: Tries to frame Sara for being the Antifa Dragon. It doesn't work.
- The Load: An extremely long bathroom break from him ends up delaying Sara's crew on their trip to Galeem's house, to the point that Sara decides to go on without him. Except it wasn't a bathroom break at all.
- The Mole: He's secretly the Antifa Dragon.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: His attempts to hide his allegiance with Antifa leave much to be desired. Naturally, Sara falls for it.
- Potty Emergency: Constantly has to go to the bathroom. In reality, this is an excuse to go off and fight for the liberals as the Antifa Dragon.
- Sudden Sequel Heel Syndrome: Becomes an antagonist in the reboot after guarding Sara's favorite musician in the original.
- Walking Spoiler: Zig-zagged. On the one hand, his status as The Mole would normally make him this; on the other hand, the nature of the fic (and a note from PrincessAmerica herself confirming it) made it so that every reader knew he was evil from the get-go.
Samus Aran
In the world of the reboot, Samus is one of Sara's allies, with a larger family than the canon Samus.- Adaptational Heroism: In the original series, she was one of the most prominent "libruls". Here, she's Sara's ally, and her spot is taken by Dark Samus.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Umm...you do remember that Ridley is your arch-nemesis, right, Samus?
- Related in the Adaptation: In this universe, she is the daughter of Mario and Peach, and the sister of both Megaman and Dark Samus.
Doctor Mario
Mario's brother and Samus' uncle, an intelligent doctor.- Related in the Adaptation: As a result of them becoming the children of Mario and Peach, he's now the uncle of Samus, Dark Samus, and Mega Man.
- The Smart Guy: His main role on Sara's team; he's the one who helped expose Ridley as the Antifa Dragon and the one who comes up with a solution to destroy communism once and for all.
Boy Corrin
The male Corrin, one of Sara's allies who has a crush on her.- Anguished Declaration of Love: Gives one to Sara to prove he's not the Antifa Dragon.
- Voluntary Shapeshifter: Into a dragon.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: His crush on Sara is never brought up after the chapter that introduces it, and Sara ends up in a relationship with Joker instead.
Simon Belmont
One of Sara's allies, who suffers a Gender Bender by Dracula.- Face–Heel Turn: Apparently undergoes one after he becomes transgender.
- Gender Bender: Thanks to soybeans.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Similarly to Samus, this version of Simon seems to have forgotten that Dracula is his sworn enemy.
- Idiot Ball: The aforementioned gender bending soybeans were given to him by Dracula.
Misspellings: Semen, Simen, Simian, Slimeman, Seaman
Richter Belmont
Simon’s brother in this story, he is also allied with Sara.- Big "NO!": Lets one out after his brother turns transgender thanks to soybeans.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Just like Simon, he suddenly decides to trust Dracula, his sworn enemy.
- Idiot Ball: While he does narrowly manage to avoid falling victim to the gender bending soybeans, that doesn’t change that he decided to eat something given to him by Dracula.
Misspellings: Rectum, Rooster, Reptar, Rapper
Joker
Not the bad guy from Bartman, this Joker is a newcomer to Smash, and happens to rescue Sara when heading to the mansion.- Adaptational Wimp: Struggles to put up a fight against garden-variety predator animals.
- Big Damn Heroes: He makes his entrance into the story by arriving to rescue Sara from George Soros.
- Chronic Hero Syndrome: Implied. In his debut chapter, he says that he was on his way to the mansion before hearing Sara had been captured, and took a detour to go rescue her.
- Irony: In his home game, his final persona is directly based on Satan. Here, he is sided with Sara, a devoted Christian.
- Rescue Romance: Starts dating Sara after rescuing her from Soros' lair.
- What, Exactly, Is His Job?: Sara has no idea what he does.
Misspellings: Jokar, Jocular, Jugular, Jotaro
Antifa Dragon
A "mysterious" foe, sent by Antifa to stop Sara in her quest. It is certain that he isn't Ridley, at least.- Major Injury Underreaction: A mere "Ow" is his reaction to suffering a Groin Attack from a taser.
- The Mole: He poses as a conservative smasher to gather information from them.
- Moveset Clone: Quite a few attacks he uses on Sara are identical to Ridley’s own. If the narrative didn’t make the truth comedically obvious already, this would have been Foreshadowing.
Becky
A fellow student of Strom Thurmond Middle School with Sara. Becky is a liberal who dislikes the school being named after a segregation supporter, and quickly ends up at odds with Sara. She later ends up joining the Smash Mansion with Sara.- Blind Without 'Em: She takes off her glasses in chapter 20, and ends up not noticing that Sara escaped from her due to this.
- Hollywood Pudgy: Like the original, Sara calls her fat for wearing size 6 pants.
- The Rival: Seems to be this towards Sara.
- Villainous Crush: Appears to have one on Sara, who totally doesn't reciprocate it.
Mr. Jonson
In this version, he is the liberal principal of Strom Thurmond Middle School. Naturally, this puts him at odds with Sara.- Adaptational Nice Guy: He is a lot more calm than the original, doesn’t make death threats, and is much more justified in his attempt at punishing Sara, since it was in response to Sara tearing up a petition rather than her asking a fairly reasonable question.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: He attempts to discipline Sara after she tears up a petition that Becky was peacefully handing around.
Bayonetta and Dark Samus
Two lesbians who frequently antagonize Sara.- Did Not Do the Bloody Research: Bayonetta, as is the case for any character with a British accent in the Supper Smash Bros world.
- Mythology Gag: Shulk claims that Bayonetta became a lesbian after going to college. Sara feared that the same thing happened or would happen to Lauren's sister in the original fic.
- Psycho Lesbian: Both of them.
- Related in the Adaptation: Bayonetta is Shulk's sister, and Dark Samus is Samus', as well as Mario and Peach's daughter.
- Satellite Love Interest: Dark Samus is defined solely by her relationship with Bayonetta.
Dracula
A vampire who shows up to give the Belmonts some free food, with a twist.- Bat Out of Hell: Makes his exit by turning into a swarm of bats.
- Daywalking Vampire: He shows up when the conservatives are planning to go to the mall, which is likely during the day.
- Evil Laugh: Does this after Simon falls victim to his trick.
- The Unfought: After utilising his trick and leaving, he’s never brought up again.
Misspellings: Bakula, Dracola, Darkula, Derpula, Dratini
Galeem
A servant of the "Derp Stat" who kidnaps most of the Conservative Smashers.- Card-Carrying Villain: Laughs maniacally with pride.
- Mayor Pain: Is the mayor of San Francisco.
- No-Nonsense Nemesis: Like in the game this fic is based on, he introduces himself by vaporizing most of the Conservative Smashers on the spot.
- The Unfought: Sara does break into his house, but specifically avoids waking him up. After this, he never appears again, and is only mentioned by name when Dharkon is involved.
Misspellings: Goldeen, Golem, Gloom, Glalie, Gullman, Gollum, Galim, Gileem, Galem, Gilgamesh
Dharkon
Galeem's brother, who goes after Sara after she interferes with Dracula's plan.- Card-Carrying Villain: Like his brother.
- Combat Tentacles: What he mainly uses in combat.
- Sibling Rivalry: Hates his brother, since Galeem voted for Hillary Clinton while he voted for Bernie Sanders.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Disappears from the story after he kidnaps Sara.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
A member of the House of Representatives in real life, Soros' right-hand woman in this fic.- The Dragon: To George Soros.
- Hammer and Sickle: Her main weapons.
Misspellings: Alakazam Okaso Cortze, Araquanid Ōkami Courtier, Aloxanda Okaso Kortaz, Alaxana Orca Cortex.
George Soros
In the reboot, he replaces Satan like Trump replaced God.- Big Bad: The one behind everything Sara has had to face so far.
- Crazy-Prepared: Moves Trump, Pence, and Putin to another lair in case Sara escaped and tried to free them.
- Manipulative Bastard: Prefers to manipulate things behind the scenes.
- The Unfought: Sara never actually fights him, with him instead falling victim to a Ret-Gone after Marx is defeated.
Marx
The jester-esque villain from Kirby Super Star. In this bizarre universe, he is actually Karl Marx, with the human appearance we’re all used to being made up by librul media in order to hide his true form.- Adaptational Wimp: As usual for pretty much any villain that Sara faces, but especially noticeable given that he's a powerful Reality Warper in canon.
- As Long as There Is Evil: Apparently, he can’t die until all communism in the world is destroyed.
- Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Or, in this case, (Karl) Marx was a Kirby villain!
Misspellings: Mark, Marks, Mirx, Morx, Mrax