The Main Duo
Hunter Ravenwood
Easily the more manic of our two protagonists, Hunter is seventeen years old, a high school junior. Reckless and carefree, it is his upbeat enthusiasm and criminal indifference that not only gets Suicide-For-Hire so much business, it ropes Arcturus into going along with the ploy. Where Arcturus is paranoid and careful, Hunter acts as though the wholesale "paid suicide" is nothing to hide from the world. He enjoys videogames and TV shows, especially cartoons. He has been obsessed with pornography ever since he saw his first breast at the tender age of thirteen, and he enjoys a good Jack Daniels and Crown Royale, although nobody has ever seen him drunk. He desperately wants the romantic attention of a beautiful senior by the name of Chryseis North, who is almost always too busy to acknowledge his affections and rarely will go out on a date with him, despite her subtle attraction to him. Oh, and he's a fox, by the way.
- Activist-Fundamentalist Antics: In some comics, though those people on the opposite side of Hunter's tend to be assholes.
- Affably Evil: The more psychopathic and violent of the two, but that doesn't stop him from being friendly.
- All Men Are Perverts: Whenever he's not hanging around with his buddy or euthanizing people, he can be seen with his pants down and/or with pornography.
- Ax-Crazy: He does come up with how to off the customers.
- Big Guy, Little Guy: His big guy, to Arcturus's little guy.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Usually the main source of comedy. Depending if your find his antics funny.
- Cunning Like a Fox: Vulpine and very intelligent despite his sociopathy and obnoxious personality.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Several comics show that he's against various things like domestic abuse, sexual harassment and bigotry.
- Firing One-Handed: How he usually holds his guns
- Politically Correct Villain: One of his more positive qualities is a disdain for bigotry and a refusal to participate in it himself. When he threatens to kill a gay waiter and the waiter accuses him of being homophobic, Hunter responds that he has no problems with gay people and was only attacking him because he'd threatened to stalk and rape him, saying he'd be doing the same thing to a straight guy who acted that way towards a woman.
- Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Manly Man to Arcturus' Sensitive Guy. He's usually the one to cause violence, while his buddy stays in the background.
- The Sociopath: He was the one to come up with the idea of "assist suicide" business after all.
- Sophisticated as Hell: Since he has both a surprisingly large vocabulary and a sailor's propensity for swearing, it should come as no surprise that he's often simultaneously impressively eloquent and extremely crude.
Arcturus Winrock
Easily spooked and afraid of consequence, Arcturus is the more cautious of the duo. Sixteen years of age, he too is a junior in high school, though he is often still confused for a middle schooler because of his short stature. Because of this, Arcturus suffers somewhat from Short Man Syndrome, feeling the need to prove his worth to more vertically-endowed folk. He initially wants nothing to do with the whole "Suicide-For-Hire" but somewhere between Hunter's crazed gumption and the customers' determination, he feels compelled to help them, despite his conflicting will. Maybe it is because of this conflict and his resulting internal paranoia that he is a smoker, but refuses any alcohol. Though he has no main girl in his life at the moment, his affections drift toward Morgan Webb, host of X-Play, his favorite show on television. And he's a mouse. I think. Yeah, he is.
- Affably Evil: Aside from his titular job, he seems to be well put-together and honest. He even tries (and fails) to get their clients to change their minds about killing themselves.
- Beware the Nice Ones: A pretty decent guy, until you get on his wrong side
- Character Development: In some earlier arcs he tried to convince their clients to seek another way, but over time he has given this up and simply going along with Hunter's plans.
- Metal Head: Is sometimes drawn with shirts with various Megadeth song names on them and makes several references to the band throughout the comic.
- Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Sensitive Guy to Hunter's Manly Man. He's less violent than Hunter.
- Split Personality: Xero, who basically acts as his dark side.
- With Friends Like These...: He's best friends with Hunter of all people.
Notable Customers
Bitch-that-won't-shut-the-hell-up
The boy's first customer, the B.T.W.S.T.H.U was a rabbit classmate of Arcturus who was seen having a discussion with a friend about how she and her boyfriend were caught with drugs and was arrested as a result, she made the decision to frame her boyfriend in order to keep her reputation in check. But hearing this, Arcturus in a fit of irritation made a speech on how she was a horrible person for thinking of framing her boyfriend and offered her to off her for $50. Though Arcturus wasn't serious at the time, she thought he was.So with the help of Hunter, she became the first of many of the boys' customers.
- Frame-Up: Tried to attempt this with her boyfriend.
- No Name Given: Isn't given a name even the title of this card is what she is described by in the archive.
- Rascally Rabbit: Trouble making scheming rabbit.
- Small Role, Big Impact: She only appeared in two strips...but she had the honor to be the first of many of the boy's customers.
- Tampering with Food and Drink: She died by a poisoned drink.
The Asshole
A ferret, who was......well, an asshole. His story was that he often sat at the mall and yelled verbal insults at various passerby, until he insulted a group who decided to teach him a lesson. He then ratted out his own friends and tried to convince his attackers it was a dare. This made him hated by everyone who somehow liked him. He then came to the boys and his 'suicide' was to be killed by a bunch of angry football players he insulted.
- Dirty Coward: Would even rat out his own friends to get out of trouble.
- Jerkass: One of the most unpleasant of the boy's customers....and that is saying something.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Never given an actual name.
Autumn (A.K.A. The Psycho Stalker)
A cow who was in love with one of her fellow students since the 6th grade. But this love was unrequited (mainly due to being....creepy in her affections) She eventually got so clingy and stalky, the boy (named Mitch) went to extreme lengths to avoid her. So she started rumors that she and Mitch were doing naughty and extreme sexual acts. When Mitch found out about this he gathered up evidence and witnesses to prove his innocence and made a laughing stock out of Autumn. So she eventually went to the boys.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: A particularly dangerous example, as shown here
. - Cruel and Unusual Death: Arguably the most brutal in the entire comic
- Death by Irony: She's a liar who ends up being literally forced to literally spill her guts out
- Jerkass: Lied to her entire school about how she and her crush were doing the 'nasty' in various disturbing positions.
- Peaceful in Death: Her funeral is seen in the next chapter.
Codename Rudolph
An egotistical reindeer who sought to be a legend in his school, through wrestling and band. But his chance at glory was taken by two superior students in both fields. Humiliated and bitter about his defeats, he bragged and lied that he actually gave up his chances to the other two for made up reasons. For a bit, his peers believed him until the aforementioned students found out about the rumors and went to teach him a lesson. With his lie revealed he became a product of ridicule throughout his school. He eventually got sick of all the harassment and went to the boys.
- Giftedly Bad: Despite his boasts, he's pretty mediocre in wrestling.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Very hard
- Last Disrespects: His obituary starts with "Rudy entered the eternal fires of Hell Wednesday..."
- The Ludovico Technique: Hunter and Arc subject him to this, with electrical shocks to the groin, before they take him on as a client so as to make sure he follows their rules exactly.
