Characters / Newbies

A list of characters from Newbies

Main Characters

The Newbie

He's a newbie in Minecraft. Although the premise of the show is for him to learn, he tends to be just as stupid in every episode.

• Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: In the beginning of the series, he wore the default Steve skin. In the next episode, it was changed to a naked, bearded man when he learned about how to change it. He later added a pair of sexy golden pants to his outfit. Most would agree that the new appearance fits his character to a T.
• Everybody Calls Him "Barkeep": We never learn his name; if a name is required for him, expect it to be "The Noob/Newbie".
• The Ditz: The Newbie, befitting his name, is clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer, knowing little about Minecraft and not having the greatest common sense.
• Dreadful Musician: He's a terrible singer.
  Newbie: (Sung to the tune of Giggle At The Ghosties) When I was a little newbie and still stuck inside this HOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE!!!!
  Joe: My God, that sounds awful.

• Vocal Evolution: The Newbie's voice was noticeably different in the first two episodes, being far less high-pitched and screechy, and sounding very similar to Joe. It wasn't until "Mining" that he started to sound like himself.

Joe

The newbie's best friend who is often annoyed by the Newbie's crazy antics. He is trying to teach the newb how to play Minecraft, with little success.

• Jerkass:
  Newbie: You dick!
  Joe: That's what I'm known for.
• Only Sane Man: He has his strange moments, but he's the closest thing this show has to normal.
• Out-of-Character Moment: Even for this series, what he said while they were going to the Moderator's party and pretending to be formal was exceptionally random.
  Joe: Yes, fancy meeting you here, chap.
  Newbie: I do say, the weather is quite nice.
  Joe: (Runs up to Newbie as close as possible) I'd fuck you!

• Surrounded by Idiots: Basically the premise of the show. Nearly every character is stranger and/or dumber than him, and he's always forced to put up with their antics.
• Swapped Roles: In the Herobrine episode, before the butler answered the door to the Moderator's mansion, he was the one annoying the Newbie, not the other way around.

The Moderator

He's the moderator!

• Catchphrase: Almost always announces his arrivals with "Did somebody say Moderator?", even if someone didn't actually say it.
• Everybody Calls Him "Barkeep": Only ever referred to as "Moderator."
• Horrible Judge of Character: He gave the Newbie creative mode in the "Creative" episode. That was a pretty bad idea.
• Happiness Is Mandatory: Implied when he explained the truth about being a moderator.
  The Moderator: I'm just messing with you! Moderators aren't allowed to cry (demon voice) or we get whipped!
  Newbie: Oh, well I don't really want to be a moderator any more...
  The Moderator Oh it's not so bad.
  Beat
  The Moderator (demon voice): Kill me!

• Vocal Evolution: His voice changed in every single time he showed up in the first couple of episodes. He's kept the voice he got in the "Night" episode ever since then.

Minor Characters

Jeff

The biggest recurring character throughout the series.

• The Determinator: Stopped at NOTHING to try killing the Noob in "Survival Games."
• Heel–Face Turn: Went from being a villain hell-bent on killing the Newbie in "Survival Games" to helping Joe, Newbie and the Moderator escape from The End in "Herobrine".
• No Inside Voice: Gives the Moderator a run for his money in this department.
• Unknown Rival: To the Newbie in "Survival Games." He was extremely focused on killing the Noob for having a "vicious porpoise aggression" despite the latter seemingly having no idea who he was.

Jake

"Just don't make eye contact with him and he'll go away!"

— Joe

• The Woobie: Jake, a player who looks like a Pegasus pony from the Mine Little Pony mod, has been portrayed as this. He first showed up in the "Creative" episode where he tried to get Joe and the Newbie to talk to him. Joe told the Newbie not to make eye contact with him and told him to go away in a very hostile tone. At the end of the episode, he was shown alone in his house playing "The Way It Is" on his music box. This changed a little in the Christmas special when he was The Dragon to the Big Bad, Mrs. Claus, in a plot to turn everyone into ponies.

Kuledud3

The series' director, she makes a few cameos, most notably in the Nether (Part Two) episode.

• Deadpan Snarker: When she offered to distract a dangerous "stone douchebag" so that Joe and the newbie could escape.
  Joe: Are you sure you want to do this? You'll probably never see us again.
  Kuledud3: (casually) I don't want to see you again.
  Joe: Oh...

Notch

HE MADE... THE FUCKING... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— The Moderator

The Silverfish

Well, we're fucked.

• Jerkass
  Sliverfish: Hey, block head, I got something to tell you.
  Newbie: Yes?
  Sliverfish: Hey, guess what.
  Newbie: What?
  Silverfish: You're a FAGGOT!

• This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "I'm a silverfish, BITCH!"

Villains

Mrs. Claus

"Wait... Notch is gay!?"

— Mrs. Claus

Johnny

He likes to pretend that snow is semen and he shoves it up his dickhole.

Herobrine

Oh shit! It's a credible villain!

• Pun: And a pretty bad one at that.
  Herobrine (still in disguise): Contrary to what you may believe, I am no villain. I am, however, a hero...
  Evil Transformation Sequence
  Herobrine: A Hero''BRINE''!
  Joe: That was terrible.

Alfred, Herobrine's Butler

Herobrine's butler.