Characters / Dirty Potter

Jim Dale

• A God Am I: At least, if the automatic correction system on the Dirty Potter forums are any indication.
• Ambiguously Depraved Beyond Imagining: It's not exactly clear just how much he is empathetic towards the characters' depravacies, or if he made them up in the first place.
• Even the Guys Want Him: Harry has no problem allowing Jim Dale to give him a handjob in Dirty Potter 3, while Piglet daydreams of making love with him in Dirty the Pooh Chapter 2.
• Hidden Depths: This version of Jim Dale is quite the skilled rapper!
• I Have No Idea What I'm Doing: Admits as much at the end of Dirty Potter 3:
  "I had no idea how to record an audiobook! Nobody told me, I just... thought 'better do something'."
• Interactive Narrator: Literally - he shows up to take part in the debauchery in Dirty Potter 3.
• No Celebrities Were Harmed: Word of God states this Jim Dale is an entity completely separate from the real Jim Dale.
• Secret-Keeper: Was given a shiny trophy in exchange for his silence about why Fuckbeak was expelled from Hogwarts. Subverted in that he blurts it out to the audience, perhaps as a warning.
  "But I knew it could happen again; the monster lived on."
• Self-Deprecation / Take That, Audience!: There are many moments where Jim stops gleefully describing the sexual acts of the characters to rail against both what he's reading and the listeners for finding any of it funny.
• Would Hurt a Child: In "The Dirty Reprise" he travels back in time to have sex with the infant Voldemort.

Dirty Potter Characters

Harry Potter

• Belligerent Sexual Tension: Seems to have this going on with Draco Malfoy. He happily lets Malfoy give him a blowjob in Dirty Potter 3, but when he finds that Malfoy left a turd on the end of his bed in A Very Dirty Potter Christmas he fantasizes about paying him back in kind.
• Dating Catwoman: Has no problem having sex with Voldemort, despite this being the man who killed his parents and tried to kill him in canon. He also happily allows Draco Malfoy to give him a blowjob in Dirty Potter 3.
• Despair Event Horizon: Caused by getting knocked into a tree by Hagrid's Gag Penis in Fuckbeak and Friends.
  Harry: "I'm in despair! Hagrid's cock has left me in despair!"
• Dimension Lord: Ends up cumming so hard that he creates a semen singularity which makes him able to percieve a multitude of other universes, each weirder than the last, and he is the supreme overlord of them all.
• Oh, Crap!: Has this reaction when Dumbledore casually walks into the room in Dirty Potter 3, despite the latter ostensibly being dead.
• Serial Escalation: Harry's orgasms slowly grow more and more intense over the course of the series. Dirty Potter 3 has him ejaclate all over Britain, while Fuckbeak and Friends 2 has him blow his load over everyone in the universe, causing Jim Dale to malfunction. It reaches the pinnacle in Fuckbeak and Friends 3, when his orgasm creates a singularity and elevates him into a Dimension Lord.
• Teacher/Student Romance: Between him and Dumbledore. He allows Dumbledore to give him a blowjob in Dirty Potter 1, while in Fuckbeak and Friends 2 he has sex with a Dumbledore sex doll while gasping about how badly he wants him.

Hermione Granger

• Insufferable Genius: As per book canon.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot: Hermione suddenly starts groping and making out with Ginny Weasley in Fuckbeak and Friends Chapter 3, much to the arousal of Harry.
• Noble Bigot: In Fuckbeak and Friends Chapter 2, Hermione chastises Hagrid for saying that blacks and jews should be thrown in a fire... only for her to admit out loud she'd rather have them go back to Africa instead.
• Not So Above It All: Engages in just as much depravity as the other characters despite being more reasonable than them.
• Only Sane Woman: She comes off as the only voice of reason amongst her peers. But Hermione is not above engaging in various sexual activities herself.

Ron Weasley

• Extreme Libido: In nearly every scene Ron is involved in, he's openly masturbating if he's not actively having sex with anyone else.
• Red Hair and Freckles: As per book canon.
• Trapped in Another World: J.K Rowling's fart sends him to another fucking dimension, which later turns out to be the world of Dirty The Pooh. He eventually gets banned by Jim Dale, after which he is sucked into the void again. His current fate is unknown.

Albus Dumbledore

• Accidental Misnaming: Jim Dale seems to have trouble pronouncing Dumbledore's name at the end of Dirty Potter 3, with guesses ranging from "Dumblefuck", "Fuckledore", "Albus Dickbag-Lemondrop", and "Da-Man-Whore". Whether he genuinely forgot or is doing this on purpose is hard to determine.
• Back from the Dead: Was murdered by Snape in the first episode, then inexplicably walks into the room near the end of the third episode, much to Harry's shock.
• Posthumous Character: Dumbledore gets murdered by Snape several times in Dirty Potter 1. Subverted in that he returns in Dirty Potter 3.
• Straight Gay: As per book canon. He even makes out with Snape at one point in Dirty Potter 1.
• Teacher/Student Romance: Has no qualms about giving Harry oral intercourse in Dirty Potter 1.
• Walking Spoiler: The first episode repeatedly mentions the fact that Dumbledore was killed by Snape.

Draco Malfoy

• Belligerent Sexual Tension: Seems to have this going on with Harry. He happily gives him oral intercourse during Dirty Potter 3, but also leaves a turd at the end of his bed in A Very Dirty Potter Christmas with an insulting note.
• Dating Catwoman: Gives Harry a blowjob under the desk during Dirty Potter 3.
• Dragged into Drag: Stuffed into a miniature tutu.
• Teacher/Student Romance: Has apparently been in a sexual relationship with Snape for a long time.

Hagrid

• Extreme Omnisexual: Will fuck anything if it stands still long enough.
  "That's what your little sister said!"
• Gag Penis: It's been described as being sixteen feet long. At one point it grew to "the size of Hogwarts".
• Noodle Incident: Admits to killing "all them people" the start of Fuckbeak and Friends Chapter 2, only to then immediately forget what he was saying.
• Your Mom: Casually reveals that he's had sex with Ginny Weasley.

Fuckbeak

A perverted porn addict who wears a filthy Hippogriff costume. First introduced in "Dirty Potter 4".

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• Animals Hate Him: His only companions are his cats, who all hate him.
• Being Depraved Beyond Imagining Sucks: Fuckbeak and Friends 1 implies that he's actually terribly unhappy, wanting to leave his past behind and find somewhere he can indulge in his vices without judgement. Except he's too lazy and hedonistic to do anything about it.
• Dirty Old Man: He's described as a forty-something year old man who enjoys spying on students while they have sex.
• Embarrassing Cover Up: The school quietly expelled him and covered it up by saying he died in a "freak triple-penetration accident" and payed Jim Dale off with a sausage-shaped trophy for his trouble.
• Enfante Terrible: Molested the entirety of Hogwarts in his third year^note meaning he was only thirteen at the time and turned them all into gays.
• Eviler than Thou: His actions were deemed as depraved even by the admittedly low standards of Hogwarts.
• Fat Slob: He's described as a big man who's unshaven, never bathes, and never cleans up after himself. He even misses the toilet on purpose when taking a leak and puts the socks he masturbates into back onto his feet.
• The Hedonist: Almost all his waking moments are spent indulging in his various vices- masturbating to porn, smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and eating cheesy snacks with Mountain Dew.
• Hikikomori: Shows traits of this. Downplayed in that he does leave his house... if only to spy on people.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: His hippogriff costume is stated to be particularly bad, but nobody ever seems to recognize who he really is.
• The Peeping Tom: In all of his appearances he's spying on the others while they perform various disgusting sex acts.
• Rape and Switch: "The incident" refers to when Fuckbeak got expelled from Hogwarts for molesting everyone and turning them all gay.
• Self-Abuse: As a result of his general depravity, Fuckbeak masturbates to a truly insane degree, even by the standards of the rest of the series. How bad is this habit? At the very start of Fuckbeak and Friends 3, he's masturbated almost a hundred times times that morning alone.
• Tantrum Throwing: Throws his computer against the wall after failing to find "big bearded gay Jewish burly sailor pajama party pornography".
• Troubling Unchildlike Behaviour: Was apparently already a perverted, sick fuck even in his third year.

Severus Snape

The potions teacher. Insists that he is not gay, but nobody believes him. Also, he murders Dumbledore.

• Ass Shove: Does this to himself with a watering can in Fuckbeak and Friends Chapter 3.
• Butt-Monkey: Everybody insists that he is gay, much to his dismay.
• Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Due to the above, he's very quick to anger on the subject of his sexuality, and keeps insisting that he is not gay, despite the fact that he's had sex with Harry and Ron several times before. Turns out, he actually is gay.
• Oh, Crap!: Is the most visably shocked when Harry orgasms hard enough to destroy physical reality, only able to stare at what had once been the ceiling.
• Smug Snake: Is extremely self-centered and pompous for his status, and thinks very highly of himself.
• Teacher/Student Romance: He's apparently been in a sexual relationship with Draco Malfoy for a long time, making Draco dress in a tutu and engage in oral intercourse with him. He's also had a gay threesome with Harry and Ron in the Christmas special.

J.K. Rowling

• Creator Cameo: An interesting use of the trope.
• Fartillery: During the episode where she appears, she lets out a fart so powerful that it causes Ron to be shot into "another fucking dimension". he later re-appears through a wormhole in Dirty the Pooh Chapter 3.
• Hermaphrodite: Shortly after she appears, J.K. Rowling whips out a six-inch penis, which she claims she "usually saves it for book signings".

Stephen Fry

• Interactive Narrator: Takes Jim Dale's place as this in one of the alternate universes that Harry and friends visit.
• Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Jim Dale notes the universe in which he voices Dirty Potter instead to be extremely stupid.

Others

• The Nose Knows: Voldemort can smell cum from anywhere!
• The Stoner: Professor Sprout confiscates a bag of pot from Ron and Harry, and rewards the House of Gryffindor.

Dirty the Pooh Characters

Winnie the Pooh

• Bait the Dog: Presented as fairly likable, if just as perverted as the other characters in the series, in part 1 and 2. Then part 3 comes around and... let's just say his nice guy facade is dropped quickly.
• Bears Are Bad News: In episode 3, Pooh turns out to be an avatar of Satan, and proceeds to destroy everything and kill everyone in a number of horrible and perverted ways.
• Big Eater: Loves to eat honey, cum, his friends, and will sell his soul for more.
• Deal with the Devil: Word of God says Pooh sold his soul for honey. And gay porn.
  Pooh: My very dear friend, Satan, has told me to tell you that the job for today is to DIE and make it as painful as possible."
• Katanas Are Just Better: Pooh somehow gets a hold of one. he then uses it to chop Roo into pieces.
• Would Hurt a Child: Pooh uses a ginormous ninja sword to cut Roo into strips and later bites off a baby rabbit's head to drink its warm glorious blood.

Tigger

• Made of Iron: Alongside Christopher Robin (albeit with a dented face), Jim Dale and Ron, he's one of the few who survives Episode 3 unscathed.
• Not Afraid to Die: Even in the face of death, Tigger finds it boring!

Christopher Robin

• Screw Yourself: He fucks himself after letting himself into his house.
• Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: He regularly has sex with animals and himself. And he's supposed to be a young boy.

Standalone Dirty Characters

Peter Pan

• Must Make Amends: He tries to make up for taking a shit on Wendy.

Barack Obama

• Black Is Bigger in Bed: He has a much bigger penis than the rest of the previous presidents.
• N-Word Privileges: "These guys... were niggers".
• Would Hurt a Child: He loves abortions and indulges in baby killing.