Awesome / The Righteous Gemstones

Gideon 1, Cycle Ninjas 0

There's just as much action as there is comedy when it comes to the Gemstone family, who take on blackmailers, Cycle Ninjas and Monster Trucks to defend their empire.

Unmarked spoilers ahead.

Season 1

• When Jesse and his friends go to Pastor Seasons' house to beat him up, he doesn't show any fear and instead chases them off his property with a shotgun. He later prints out several pamphlets detailing Eli's past scandals, puts them on the windshields of the cars at Eli's new church, and has the balls to put his church's name on the back.
• Eli doesn't take Seasons' resistance lying down. He might be a grandfather but he's still strong enough to hurl a potato through the second-story window of his church.
• When vandals break into the Gemstones' new church and terrorize Billy and Tiffany, Eli pulls a Big Damn Heroes moment with a gun, forces all the vandals to strip naked, and sends them out through the mall.
• When cops bust a Satanist club that Dot Nancy is dancing in, Kelvin and Keefe actually help her escape. This earns them her respect and she starts showing genuine interest in their youth ministry.
• Aimee-Leigh and Baby Billy's performance of "Misbehavin'" in the fifth episode is just plain this.
• Jesse gives Scotty a "The Reason You Suck" Speech after accurately deducing that he has no more blackmail material and he's not some criminal mastermind, just a loser living in his van.
• Gideon betraying Scotty, beating him up, taking the hard drive, and refusing to give it back even with a gun pointed at him. All while Jesse's Easter sermon about Judas' betrayal and Jesus' resurrection plays in the background.

Season 2

• Eli revealing he's a Old Master by using his old thumb-breaking move from his mob-enforcer days on a guy who tries to pick a fight with him in the parking lot.
• Even in the throes of dementia, Granddaddy Roy kills a man that was threatening to harm Eli's family.
• After getting attacked by the Motorcycle Ninjas, Jesse fires several rounds but misses while Amber actually manages to disable one of their bikes.
• Gideon, after being Out of Focus all season, takes out the remainder of the motorcycle gang, armed only with a cattle prod!
• Kelvin breaking his casts, doing the "bearing the cross" challenge, and kicking all the God Squad members out of his house.
• Eli and Martin hiring the Cycle Ninjas to turn on the Lissons, leading to their gruesome deaths. Eli proves the saying: you come for the king, you best not miss.

Season 3

• He may be an abusive doomsday cultist; but Peter calling out the Gemstones for their opulence and prioritizing entertainment over the things of God might make you want to cheer.
• Gideon out drives and out maneuvers Peter's goons while not being able to turn his head, cementing his place as his Granddaddy's new driver and saving his cousins.
• "Crazy Aunt May-May" proves to be the one person who can shut Judy up, with a sudden and well-placed karate chop to the throat.
  Judy: She Kung fu'd my larynx, Daddy!
• The Cousins all working together to save Karl from choking, since he's too big for any of them to Heimlich.
• When Peter comes to church lunch and tries to intimidate his sons into returning to the compound, the Gemstones step in to defend them. When things escalate to the point of Peter screaming at and threatening Judy, Eli pulls a gun, followed by Jesse and Amber, Judy and BJ, and even Martin, forcing Peter to back off.
• Jesse's speech about trust and the consequences of breaking that trust is probably the most mature thing he's ever said, not just in the context of his Character Development as a leader, but also as a moment of actual good parenting of a teenager.
  Jesse: Trust is a gift that should be cherished. Life is tough. If you allow yourself to trust another person, that takes some of the weight off. That's why it stings extra when that trust is betrayed. People do not like having the rug pulled out from under them. Love can be lost, relationships can be damaged forever, or take years and years to mend. All that wasted fucking time. Trust is the only thing keeping the entire house of cards standing. Without it, we're left with a shit-stained world full of liars and cheats. Somebody gifting you their trust is a very, very powerful thing. So breaking that trust is the equivalent of saying 'hey, buddy, fuck you! I don't give a fuck about what you think.' Is that what you want? Is that what you want to portray to me and your mom? 'Hey Mom, hey Dad, fuck you, I don't give a fuck about what you think.' Someone saying 'fuck you' to family will not be tolerated in this house. As your father, have I made myself clear?
• "Interlude III" shows that Jesse is a really good monster truck driver, with an epic montage of him destroying random stuff while the other kids cheer.
• BJ and Stephen's fight is as absurd as it is awesome. Just when it looks like a total Curb-Stomp Battle, BJ turns the tide and gets the upper hand, taking him down.
• May-May rescues the kids, with help from Karl, stepping in front of them and daring Peter and Chuck to shoot her. They can't.
• Gideon fulfills his destiny as the baddest driver on the show by hijacking the Redeemer and using it pancake the Montgomery compound, also helping his family escape to freedom.
  Gideon: Let's see how fast these motherfuckers can run.
• During a surprise locust swarm, Jesse saves Dusty Daniels.