History Quotes / TheScrappy

-->--'''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jig20FD7tLM on]] ''Series/IronFist2017'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj7c6FUsPvE and]] ''Series/TheDefenders2017''

->''"So, Edward Carnby from the very first ''Alone in the Dark'' is somehow still alive... He gets joined by a female sidekick who ''sweeps'' the Horrible Game Character Awards, taking:"''\\\

Most Irritating\\

''"Perhaps the crowning moment of her hideousness is when she nearly dies and the game forces you to [[PressXToNotDie press a button sequence]] in order to revive her with CPR -- although the spiteful cow never actually ''dies'', no matter how many times [[VideogameCrueltyPotential you deliberately fuck up.]]"''

[[Web Animation]]

->"In the original, [[MauveShirt she has three lines of dialog and then she gets fucking killed]]. In the remake, she is a major character, and every time she talks I want to die. Since I despise this character more than anything, naturally we need an entire chapter explaining her backstory."

->''As irritating as pubic louse and just as nasty. Adric declares that [[HeManWomanHater all women are mindless, impatient and bossy]] and judging by [[DeathGlare the look on Tegan’s face]] she's ready to shove his little winkie in a blender and serve it up as an Alzarian smoothie.''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2011/09/season-nineteen.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Doctor Who'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS19E2FourToDoomsday}} "Four to Doomsday"]]

->''As irritating as pubic louse and just as nasty. Adric declares that all women are mindless, impatient and bossy and judging by [[DeathGlare the look on Tegan’s face]] she's ready to shove his little winkie in a blender and serve it up as an Alzarian smoothie.''

->''Yes, it doesn’t help that he’s suddenly being written as the most obnoxious teenager in the history of the world, but he’s hard-pressed to deal with well-written dramatic material too, [[DullSurprise as he’ll show given time.]]''
-->--'''Dr. El Sandifer''' [[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/because-we-dont-quite-fully-understand-four-to-doomsday/ on]] [[Series/DoctorWho Adric]] [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS19E2FourToDoomsday}} "Four to Doomsday"]]

-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2011/09/season-nineteen.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS19E2FourToDoomsday}} "Four to Doomsday"]]

->''Yes, they serve a purpose. Yes, they're ''supposed'' to be cute. That doesn't stop [them] from being the most irritating helpers this side of the dog in ''VideoGame/DuckHunt''.
-->--WebVideo/TheGamingPixie discussing ''VideoGame/GoldenAxe''

->''[='=]Okay,' someone at Squaresoft must have said at a developers' meeting, [='=]''VideoGame/FinalFantasyII''[='s=] weakest character was Gordon, and ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIII''[='=]s most useless class was the Bard. You know what I think would be a good idea? '''COMBINING THEM'''.[='=]''
-->-- '''Pat R.''' On [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyIV Edward]], [[http://socksmakepeoplesexy.net/index.php?a=ff04 "Bang! Zoom! Straight to the Moon!"]]

->''See, if Blitz [[ComplacentGamingSyndrome is the popular jock all shallow people love]], if [=SwdTech=] is [[AwesomeButImpractical the bitch without any real qualities who is adored for her looks]] and if Rage is [[DifficultButAwesome the scrawny kid with glasses few people like to talk to who'll later make more money that the rest of class '96 combined]], Sketch is the poor kid who, besides being lactose-intolerant, suffering from asthma AND having the worst case of acne known to Western science, lacks any kind of charm, quality or potential. Even if you do put on a nose peg -- penetrating body odour -- and get to talk to him, you'll notice that under all the ugly, you've found a prime example of a generally boring person who sometimes likes to kill caterpillars and sniff his sister's underwear.''
-->--'''Djibriel''' on [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVI Relm]], {{Website/GameFAQs}}

"With his roll-ed up sleeves and tie, he looks like someone hitting the convention circuit because they never broke into hard drama after leaving ''Series/TheMickeyMouseClub.''"\\

-->--'''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jig20FD7tLM on]] ''Series/IronFist2017'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj7c6FUsPvE and]] ''Series/TheDefenders''

->''I know I give Cyclops a pretty hard time on this show, and that that’s not always fair...but dudes. For real. This guy is complaining not about Jean being kidnapped, but '''[[AttentionWhore literally whining about how he wasn’t kidnapped too.]]''' I’m not even kidding. It’s like Mr. Sinister took Jean out for ice cream and Scott wanted Ice Cream too and you said if he got an A on his test he could have some ''Professor you said.

->"In the original, [[MauveShirt she has three lines of dialogue and then she gets fucking killed]]. In the remake, she is a major character, and every time she talks I want to die. Since I despise this character more than anything, naturally we need an entire chapter explaining her backstory."

-->--'''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jig20FD7tLM on]] ''Series/IronFist'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj7c6FUsPvE and]] ''Series/TheDefenders''

->''Okay everybody, it's clear that Billy wants some attention. No no, let's hold everything, because Billy clearly wants to be the focus of the conversation. We're only talking about a magical artifact that could hold the very fate of the world, but Billy wants to entertain us. Hold the phone, guys. Okay Billy, we're all looking at you now. You have the rapt attention of everybody in the room. Make us laugh, fucktard. MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH. You wanted the attention so bad, now you got it. Come on, man! What you got? Oh, were you done? You're out of jokes? Because you were perfectly happy to spend twenty years of your wasted fucking life dishing out sarcasm from the shadows, I thought you'd appreciate this chance in the spotlight to get it all out of your system. What, where are you going? Don't leave! We were all ready to hear your fucking stand-up routine. Are you CRYING? You PUSSY. You're real smart when you're cracking one-liners like some fucking chimp flinging his shit at people, ain't ya?''

->''[='=]Okay,' someone at Squaresoft must have said at a developers' meeting, [='=]''VideoGame/FinalFantasyII''[='s=] weakest character was Gordon, and ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIII''[='=]s most useless class was the Bard. You know what I think would be a good idea? '''[[http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Edward_Chris_von_Muir COMBINING THEM]]'''.[='=]''
-->-- '''Pat R.''', [[http://socksmakepeoplesexy.net/index.php?a=ff04 "Bang! Zoom! Straight to the Moon!"]]

->''No idea if he is a {{face}} or {{heel}} here, but I do know I want to punch him in the face. To be fair, that’s pretty much my feeling any time I see the guy. So much so that anytime you see him, feel free to imagine me cracking my knuckles whilst I delight in the imagery of [[Wrestling/TheMiz Miz’s]] face as my own personal speed bag. No way I am the only person thinking that.''
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/induction-saturday-morning-slam-thanksgiving-pie-eating-contest-sugar-rush-sugar-rush-sugar-crash/ "Saturday Morning Slam Thanksgiving Pie Eating Contest"]]

-> No, she didn't miss you, you idiot! She doesn't give a shit about you! In fact, NO one gives a shit about you! Hell, people like Shippo more than you.

->I ''hate'' that frog!
-->--'''Wolf O'Donnell''' (talking about Slippy), ''VideoGame/StarFoxAssault''

[[folder:Web Animation]]

->''[[VideoGame/Uncharted2AmongThieves Uncharted 2]]'' does put a lot of effort into its scenery. This could be one of the reasons why they make us climb onto the tops of very high things all the bloody time, the other being to give us an opportunity to leap off into space and see if Nathan Drake can wisecrack his way out of a 50-story drop onto a bric-a-brac store, the smug flat-headed cunt.
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'''''

[[/folder]]

->You might have noticed that cartoons had a different idea what was comic relief than other media. Cartoon comic relief people aren't like [[FatComicRelief the fat guy in the spring break movie that'll eat anything, get stuck in doorways, and win the water skiing competition with a perfectly timed fart.]] Comic relief in cartoons didn't make you laugh. They were just a couple people that we hated more than anyone else.

->I know I give Cyclops a pretty hard time on this show, and that that’s not always fair...but dudes. For real. This guy is complaining not about Jean being kidnapped, but '''[[AttentionWhore literally whining about how he wasn’t kidnapped too.]]''' I’m not even kidding. It’s like Mr. Sinister took Jean out for ice cream and Scott wanted Ice Cream too and you said if he got an A on his test he could have some ''Professor you said.''

->Okay everybody, it's clear that Billy wants some attention. No no, let's hold everything, because Billy clearly wants to be the focus of the conversation. We're only talking about a magical artifact that could hold the very fate of the world, but Billy [[SkewedPriorities wants to entertain us]]. Hold the phone, guys. Okay Billy, we're all looking at you now. You have the rapt attention of everybody in the room. Make us laugh, fucktard. MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH. You wanted the attention so bad, now you got it. Come on, man! What you got? Oh, were you done? You're out of jokes? Because you were perfectly happy to spend twenty years of your wasted fucking life dishing out sarcasm from the shadows, I thought you'd appreciate this chance in the spotlight to get it all out of your system. What, where are you going? Don't leave! We were all ready to hear your fucking stand-up routine. Are you CRYING? You PUSSY. You're real smart when you're cracking one-liners like some fucking chimp flinging his shit at people, ain't ya?

->Yes, it doesn’t help that he’s suddenly being written as the most obnoxious teenager in the history of the world, but he’s hard-pressed to deal with well-written dramatic material too, [[DullSurprise as he’ll show given time.]]

->As irritating as pubic louse and just as nasty. Adric declares that all women are mindless, impatient and bossy and judging by [[DeathGlare the look on Tegan’s face]] she's ready to shove his little winkie in a blender and serve it up as an Alzarian smoothie.

->When I talk about the greatness of ''[[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Deep Space Nine]]'' and all the ways in which I think it’s the greatest of the ''Star Trek'' series, I should always remember to add an asterisk with the footnote, [='=]''… except Ferengi episodes.''[='=]

->Lana is stupid. Lana needs to die. Lana is like [[Literature/NineteenEightyFour two minutes hate]]. Lana is worse than breaking a thermometer in my hand. Lana [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJRmto-nH5A tastes like... burning.]] Lana is like hitting a baby with a baseball bat. Lana is a monkey without poo, a midget without a sense of humor. Lana is like war. Lana like a metaphor without a... [[{{Metaphorgotten}} something.]] Lana, I hope you die next week. Die die die die die.

->Yes, they serve a purpose. Yes, they're ''supposed'' to be cute. That doesn't stop [them] from being the most irritating helpers this side of the dog in ''VideoGame/DuckHunt''.

->'Okay,' someone at Squaresoft must have said at a developers' meeting, [='=]''VideoGame/FinalFantasyII''[='s=] weakest character was Gordon, and ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyIII''[='=]s most useless class was the Bard. You know what I think would be a good idea? '''[[http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Edward_Chris_von_Muir COMBINING THEM]]'''.'

->No idea if he is a {{face}} or {{heel}} here, but I do know I want to punch him in the face. To be fair, that’s pretty much my feeling any time I see the guy. So much so that anytime you see him, feel free to imagine me cracking my knuckles whilst I delight in the imagery of [[Wrestling/TheMiz Miz’s]] face as my own personal speed bag. No way I am the only person thinking that.

->Much is Robin's brother in this telling. A wise choice, as that's [[{{Nepotism}} the only possible explanation]] for why they'd keep someone this incompetent around for as long as they do, instead of leading him to a quiet spot in the woods, taking out their bows, and [[Literature/OfMiceAndMen telling him about the rabbits]].

->The scene cuts to the rest of the cast still collecting sap, then they hear the bestial roar of what I still at the time was hoping was Cardin being eaten.

->To be honest, the best part about this is knowing that [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword Fi]] is trapped in there in the other games, ''unable to speak''. She must be dying after all this time. It also adds an upside to mistakenly slamming the sword against a wall, as well. It's good to know she's in there.

->Let's not pretend things are other than what they are: I don't like Neelix. On this long Trek, he is a tack in the sole of your shoe that ''barely'' pokes its sharp edge into your foot, bringing discomfort with each step, but too embedded for you to stop and pull it out with your fingers.

->Boy, remember how upset we all were that Wesley Crusher was almost completely cut out of ''Film/StarTrekNemesis''? When I saw him sitting there at Will and Deanna’s wedding, in his [[{{Unperson}} single, tiny remaining shot,]] I for one wanted to stand up and shout, "YOU MISSED ONE!"

->Shut up, Dax!
-->--'''Creator/LewisLovhaug''', which he says quite a lot in the video, ''WebVideo/HistoryOfPowerRangers'': ''Series/PowerRangersOperationOverdrive.''

->He's not just an incorrigibly hormonal teen, he's a sex predator, and it bums me out. He brings nothing to the table, and really just makes every scene worse.

->''"Watch as she pawns off her kid, crashes her car on an empty road, and even in death, is literally haunting the show with her annoying presence. Ugggh! She's the worst!"''

->''"Let me tell you how much i've come to hate Captain Dillon since playing this game. There are sixty thousand miles of nerves and thin layers in the human body. If the word hate was written on every nano-inch of these tens of thousands of miles it wouldn't even be one billionth of the hate i have for Captain Dillon in this micro-instant. [[Literature/IHaveNoMouthAndIMustScream Hate hate HAAAATE!]]"''

->'''Eric Cartman:''' "You're the worst character ever, Towelie."
->'''Towelie:''' "I know."

->Jar-Jar is the key to all this, if we get Jar-Jar working. Because he's [[DeweyDefeatsTruman a funnier character than we've ever had.]]

->My god, a lot of the hate mail I used to get suddenly makes a whole lot of sense.

->As we reach the final episode in the second season, it's not a finale in the sense we think of them now. There'll be no cliff hanger, nor sudden, violent death of a main character -- perhaps trapped inside a locker and fucked to death by an escaped baboon -- no matter how hard you're praying for it.

->''"Let me tell you how much i've come to hate Captain Dillon since playing this game. There are sixty thousand miles of nerves and thin layers in the human body. If the word hate was written on every nano-inch of these tens of thousands of miles it wouldn't even be one billionth of the hate i have for Captain Dillon in this micro-instant. Hate hate HAAAATE!"''

->'''Eric Cartman:''' "You're the worst character ever, Towelie!"

-->--'''Lewis Lovhaug''', which he says quite a lot in the video, ''WebVideo/HistoryOfPowerRangers'': ''Series/PowerRangersOperationOverdrive.''

-->--'''Dr. Phil Sandifer''' [[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/because-we-dont-quite-fully-understand-four-to-doomsday/ on]] [[Series/DoctorWho Adric]] [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS19E2FourToDoomsday}} "Four to Doomsday"]]

->Much is Robin's brother in this telling. A wise choice, as that's [[{{Nepotism}} the only possible explanation]] for why they'd keep someone this incompetent around for as long as they do, instead of leading him to a quiet spot in the woods, taking out their bows, and [[OfMiceAndMen telling him about the rabbits]].

-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville5-ep11 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Lockdown")

-->--'''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Homestead"