History Quotes / NotHyperbole

->''"I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!"\\
[one boss fight later, he rips the monster's head off, unbuckles his pants, sits down on the neck stump, pulls out a newspaper, and starts whistling]''

'''Homelander:''' Hahaha, shit! ''That'' was a great lin-- ''[[TalkToTheFist (gets punched by Omni-Man)]]''\\
''(fast-forward to the end of the fight, where Omni-Man [[JawBreaker tears Homelander's jaw off its hinges]] and [[AndShowItToYou rips out his heart]])''\\

''(Omni-Man [[{{Autocannibalism}} shoves Homelander's heart into his distended mouth]])''\\

''[[SpeakOfTheDevil (opens door to reveal Pacifica)]]''\\

'''Dipper:''' ...You're the worst. ''(slams door)''

'''Adam:''' ''(to Jake)'' Why didn't you tell me this could happen?\\

'''Jake:''' Well, it looks like you'll just have to take your monkey friend a little more literally in the future! ''(holds up a stick)''\\

'''Alex:''' You can say that again! ''(knocks an acorn out of her ear)'' Oh... no seriously, [[ICantHearYou I couldn't hear you]], say that again!

->''"Oh, Sam! I could eat your ice cream ''all day long''! ...So I think I will."'' (proceeds to [[RewindGag rewind himself]] with the Quantum Replay 9000 to make himself ''un''-eat his ice cream cone)

->'''[[TheHero Dipper]]:''' Guys, in case you've already forgotten, [[AlphaBitch Pacifica Northwest]] is the worst -- and that's not just jealously talking. I'd say that to her face.\\
''[[SpeakOfTheDevil (opens door to reveal Pacifica)]]''\\
'''Pacifica:''' I need your help.\\
'''Dipper:''' ...You're the worst. ''(slams door)''
-->--''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'', "Northwest Mansion Mystery"

->''"My parents were fishermen. When I was a girl, I stood right here and leaned to clean the fish they had caught. I'm telling you this so that you know... when I say that [[YouShallNotPass if you take one more step]], I will [[GuttedLikeAFish gut you like the Catch of the Day]]... it is [[TropeNamers not hyperbole]]!"''
-->-- '''Lien''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

->''"I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!"'' (one boss fight later, he rips the monster's head off, unbuckles his pants, sits down on the neck stump, pulls out a newspaper, and starts whistling)
-->-- '''VideoGame/DukeNukem''', ''VideoGame/DukeNukem3D''

->'''Lily:''' When it all goes down in flames- and I don't mean that figuratively. I expect there to be actual flames.\\
''(cut to Ted sitting on the sidewalk where all of his personal belongings have been burned)''\\
'''Future Ted:''' And there was.
-->-- ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'', "Bad Crazy"

->'''[[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kara]]:''' Lie to me again and I'll drop a mountain on your head.\\
'''[[ComicBook/LegionOfSuperheroes Mon-El]]:''' Figuratively?\\
'''Kara:''' ''Geologically''.
-->-- ''Series/Supergirl2015''

->'''Adam:''' But I just won the election!\\
'''Henry:''' Yeah, you won. That's why we have to challenge you for dominance. It's an animal thing.\\
'''Adam:''' ''(to Jake)'' Why didn't you tell me this could happen?\\
'''Jake:''' I told you you'd get beaten if you ran for office.\\
'''Adam:''' I didn't know you meant like ''this!''\\
'''Jake:''' Well, it looks like you'll just have to take your monkey friend a little more literally in the future! ''(holds up a stick)''\\
'''Adam:''' If I ''have'' a future!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyGymPartnersAMonkey'', "Political Animals"

->''"I'm going to have to bring out the big gun! Which is ''literally'' a big gun!"''
-->-- '''Melvin''', ''WebVideo/MarikPlaysBloodlines''

->''"Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me [[BigEater all the bacon and eggs you have]]". Do you understand?"''
-->-- '''Ron Swanson''', ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''

->''"You know, when the villain says something like "taking candy from a baby", it should probably be an insult, because it isn't, and it's... it's supposed to make you feel less than what you actually are, it's supposed to ''demean'' you. But this ''really is'' like taking candy from a baby! [[ConflictBall We fell over]], we [[CutsceneIncompetence landed on the floor]], he picked [[MacGuffin it]] up and he '''[[VillainExitStageLeft LEFT]]!'''"''
-->-- '''LetsPlay/TearOfGrace''', on a Knuckles fight in ''VideoGame/SonicAdventure DX''

->'''CG:''' [[SincerityMode I WASN'T JOKING]] WHEN I SAID [[AGodAmI I WAS YOUR GOD]], LIKE THAT WASN'T JUST A LOT OF BRAVADO AND USELESS PISSING AROUND.\\
'''CG:''' I AM LITERALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR EXISTENCE.\\
'''CG:''' WE BEAT [[TheGamePlaysYou THE GAME]] YOU ARE PLAYING AND [[CreationMyth CREATED YOUR UNIVERSE]].
-->-- '''Karkat Vantas''', ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''

->'''Hayden Montag:''' It has been said that there is a skeleton in every closet here in [[WizardingSchool Innsmouth]]. [[FalseReassurance That is simply not true]]. ''They were laid [[BuriedAlive into the very foundation walls]].'' The basement might ''bleed'' if you chipped beneath the plaster.\\
'''Carter:''' That's a figure of speech, right?\\
'''Annabel Usher:''' I'm sorry, Carter.\\
'''Carter:''' Oh my god, have you never heard of a white lie?!
-->-- ''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''

->'''Clover:''' Sad as I am about not being spy chic anymore, I definitely won't miss the [=WOOHPings=]!\\
'''Alex:''' You can say that again! ''(knocks an acorn out of her ear)'' Oh... no seriously, [[ICantHearYou I couldn't hear you]], say that again!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TotallySpies'', "Totally Dunzo! (Part 1)"

->And when I say “torturing”, I mean we get… ''lovely'' lines like this one:\\
'''“There was something perversely theraputic [sic] about the feeling of my claws rending [[Anime/PokemonTheSeries Ash's]] flesh and tearing him to ribbons […]”.'''
-->-- '''guardians_song''', [[https://guardians-song.livejournal.com/300228.html Introductory Post to the Cori Falls MSTs]]

->'''Juggernaut:''' I'm going to rip you in half now.\\
'''Deadpool:''' ''(laughs)'' That is such a Juggernaut thing to say!\\
'''Juggernaut:''' ''(rips Deadpool in half)''
-->--''Film/Deadpool2''

->'''Puss in Boots:''' You are no bounty hunter. ''You are...''\\
'''The Wolf:''' [[spoiler:[[TheGrimReaper Death]].]] And [[LampshadeHanging I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically]] or [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore in any other fancy way.]] [[spoiler:[[IAmTheNoun I'm Death.]]]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Straight. Up.]]''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/PussInBootsTheLastWish''

->'''Jon:''' Here Garfield, have a kitty treat.\\
'''Garfield:''' ''(munching on the treat)'' (This tastes like a dead mouse!)\\
'''Jon:''' ''(holding up the box)'' It's their new flavor... "Rodent Ranch".\\
'''Garfield:''' (Get the mop, I'm gonna blow.)
-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}} From the Trash Bin: Rescued Rejects and Outrageous Outtakes''

->''"Oh, Sam! I could eat your ice cream ''all day long''! ...So I think I will."'' (proceeds to rewind himself with the Quantum Replay 9000 to make himself ''un''-eat his ice cream cone)

-->-- '''Melvin''', ''LetsPlay/MarikPlaysBloodlines''

'''The Wolf:''' [[spoiler:[[TheGrimReaper Death]].]] And [[LampshadeHanging I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically]] or [[SeenItAll in any other fancy way.]] [[spoiler:[[IAmTheNoun I'm Death.]]]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Straight. Up.]]''

'''The Wolf:''' [[spoiler:[[TheGrimReaper Death]].]] And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way. [[spoiler:[[IAmTheNoun I'm Death.]]]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Straight. Up.]]''

->'''[[TheHero Dipper]]:''' Guys, in case you've already forgotten, [[AlphaBitch Pacifica Northwest]] is the worst - and that's not just jealously talking. I'd say that to her face.\\
''[[[SpeakOfTheDevil opens door to reveal Pacifica]]]''\\

'''Dipper:''' ...You're the worst. ''[slams door]''

->'''VideoGame/DukeNukem:''' I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!\\
''[One boss fight later, he rips the monster's head off, unbuckles his pants, sits down on the neck stump, pulls out a newspaper, and starts whistling]''
-->-- ''VideoGame/DukeNukem3D''

-->--''Series/Supergirl2015''

-->--''WesternAnimation/MyGymPartnersAMonkey'', "Political Animals"

->''I'm going to have to bring out the big gun! Which is ''literally'' a big gun!''
-->--'''Melvin''', ''LetsPlay/MarikPlaysBloodlines''

->"''You know, when the villain says something like "taking candy from a baby", it should probably be an insult, because it isn't, and it's... it's supposed to make you feel less than what you actually are, it's supposed to ''demean'' you. But this ''really is'' like taking candy from a baby! [[ConflictBall We fell over]], we [[CutsceneIncompetence landed on the floor]], he picked [[MacGuffin it]] up and he '''[[VillainExitStageLeft LEFT]]!'''''"
-->--'''LetsPlay/TearOfGrace''', on a Knuckles fight in ''VideoGame/SonicAdventure DX''

->''I have been asked to make it clear that if you lose and [[TrappedByGamblingDebts find yourself unable to cover your losses]], Mister Grey's representatives will - and I quote - "[[FreudianThreat feed you your own testicles]]." I was given to understand that Mister Grey was not speaking metaphorically.''
-->--'''Marshall,''' ''ComicBook/{{Hellblazer}}: Wheels of Chance, Systems of Control''

-->--'''Karkat Vantas''', ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''

-->--''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''

-->--''Literature/TrickstersDuet'', by Tamora Pierce

-->--''Radio/TheHitchHikersGuideToTheGalaxy1978''

->'''Clover:''' Sad as I am about not being spy chic anymore, I definitely won't miss the [=WOOHPings=]!
->'''Alex:''' You can say that again! ''(knocks an acorn out of her ear)'' Oh... no seriously, [[ICantHearYou I couldn't hear you]], say that again!
-->--''WesternAnimation/TotallySpies'', "Totally Dunzo! (Part 1)"

->And when I say “torturing”, I mean we get… ''lovely'' lines like this one:
->'''“There was something perversely theraputic [sic] about the feeling of my claws rending [[Anime/PokemonTheSeries Ash's]] flesh and tearing him to ribbons […]”.'''
-->--'''guardians_song''', [[https://guardians-song.livejournal.com/300228.html Introductory Post to the Cori Falls MSTs]]

->'''Omni-Man''': [[PreAsskickingOneLiner I'm going to feed you your own heart.]]
->'''Homelander''': Hahaha, shit! That was a great lin- (''[[TalkToTheFist gets punched by Omni-Man]]'')\\
''[Fast-forward to the end of the fight, where Omni-Man [[JawBreaker tears Homelander's jaw off its hinges]] and [[AndShowItToYou rips out his heart]]]''
->'''Omni-Man''': Remember what I promised you...?\\
''[Omni-Man [[{{Autocannibalism}} shoves Homelander's heart into his distended mouth]]]''
->'''Omni-Man''': [[PreMortemOneLiner Now, swallow.]]
-->--''WebAnimation/DeathBattle'': [[WesternAnimation/Invincible2021 Omni-Man]] vs. [[Series/TheBoys2019 Homelander]]

->'''Hugh Neutron:''' Oh, Sam! I could eat your ice cream ''all day long''! ...So I think I will.
->''(proceeds to rewind himself with the Quantum Replay 9000 to make himself ''un''-eat his ice cream cone)''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfJimmyNeutronBoyGenius'', "Sorry, Wrong Era"

->'''Juggernaut:''' I'm going to rip you in half now.
->'''Deadpool:''' ''[laughs]'' That is such a Juggernaut thing to say!
->'''Juggernaut:''' ''[rips Deadpool in half]''

'''The Wolf:''' [[spoiler: [[TheGrimReaper Death]]]]. And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way. [[spoiler:[[IAmTheNoun I'm Death]]]]. ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Straight. Up.]]''

'''The Wolf:''' [[spoiler: [[TheGrimReaper Death]]]]. And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way. [[spoiler:I'm Death]]. ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Straight. Up.]]''

'''The Wolf:''' [[spoiler: [[TheGrimReaper Death]]]]. And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way. [[spoiler:I'm Death]]. ''Straight. Up.''

'''The Wolf:''' [[spoiler:Death]]. And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way. [[spoiler:I'm Death]]. ''Straight. Up.''

->'''Puss in Boots:''' You are no bounty hunter. ''[[OhCrap You are]]...''\\
'''The Wolf:''' Death. And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or in any other fancy way. I'm Death. ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Straight. Up.]]''
-->--''WesternAnimation/PussInBootsTheLastWish''

-->--''Film/PussInBootsTheLastWish''

-->--'''LetsPlay/TearOfGrace''', on a Knuckles fight in ''Videogame/SonicAdventure DX''

-->--''Radio/TheHitchHikersGuideToTheGalaxy''

''[Fast-forward to the end of the fight, where Omni-Man [[TearYourFaceOff tears Homelander's jaw off its hinges]] and [[AndShowItToYou rips out his heart]]]''

->'''Homelander''': Hahaha, shit! That was a great lin- (''gets punched by Omni-Man'')\\
''[Fast-forward to the end of the fight, where Omni-Man tears Homelander's jaw off its hinges and rips out his heart]''

''[Omni-Man shoves Homelander's heart into his distended mouth]''
->'''Omni-Man''': Now, swallow.

->'''Omni-Man''': [[PreAsskickingOneLiner I'm going to feed you your own heart.]]\\

->'''Omni-Man''': I'm going to feed you your own heart.\\

->I'm going to have to bring out the big gun! Which is ''literally'' a big gun!

-->--''LetsPlay/TearOfGrace'', on a Knuckles fight in ''Videogame/SonicAdventure DX''

->I have been asked to make it clear that if you lose and [[TrappedByGamblingDebts find yourself unable to cover your losses]], Mister Grey's representatives will - and I quote - "[[FreudianThreat feed you your own testicles]]." I was given to understand that Mister Grey was not speaking metaphorically.

->'''“There was something perversely theraputic [sic] about the feeling of my claws rending [[Anime/{{Pokemon}} Ash's]] flesh and tearing him to ribbons […]”.'''

'''Henry:''' Yeah, you won. That's why I have to challenge you for dominance. It's an animal thing.\\

''[One boss fight later, he rips the monster's head off, unbuckles his pants, sits down, pulls out a newspaper, and starts whistling]''