History Main / SafetyInIndifference

* In the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults attachment theory]] as applied to adults, the "I actually desire closeness but I'm better off alone because I'm afraid to be hurt" stance is the hallmark of the ''fearful-avoidant'' style that may develop as a response to trauma. If it's Trauma with a capital "T", avoidance of relationships and sense of alienation may be a symptom of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder]] or its [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder Complex form]].

* Rather common in [[ShellShockedVeteran military units seeing active combat]], especially in wars where high casualty rates are expected. Losing TrueCompanions ''hurts'' so the soldiers stop caring about anything -- the NewMeat in particular, as their loss will hurt less if they were just a face rather than a FireForgedFriend.

Characters who choose indifference most often end up as a BrokenBird; SourOutsideSadInside; EmotionlessGirl or IceQueen; they will sometimes be cold or act like jerks on purpose to hide their emotions from both themselves and others while secretly [[DesperatelyCravesAffection Desperately Craving Affection]]. Where they are a significant character, expect a DefrostingIceQueen or BreakTheHaughty plot, teaching them the PowerOfFriendship or [[PowerOfLove love]].

* ''LetsPlay/DreamSMP'': In Week 5 of his 'lessons' with Slime (in the fourth "Las Nevadas" stream), Quackity preaches to "[c]reate no emotional attachments to anything [because] everything gets destroyed". Considering one of the examples he uses to illustrate this was him and El Rapids being "abandoned", it carries strong indication that he feels this way as a result of his TraumaCongaLine prior to [[DespairEventHorizon this arc]]... [[spoiler:though granted, he's a massive {{hypocrite}} in saying he lacks emotional attachment, and [[DefrostingIceQueen he gets better eventually]]]].

* This uncharacteristically dark lyric from [[VileVillainSaccharineShow Starlight Glimmer]]'s VillainSong in the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' episode "[[Recap/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicS5E1TheCutieMapPart1 The Cutie Map - Part 1]]", explaining how her {{cult}} effectively enforces numb conformity by [[TallPoppySyndrome removing the pony's talents magically]] and with threats of being locked in a cell to have propaganda blared at them for even the slightest infraction.

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!Examples

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

[[folder:Visual Novels]]
* Kazuaki Nanaki in ''VisualNovel/HatofulBoyfriend'' lost someone years ago, and still felt strongly about them. But as the years went by love soured into a kind of resentment, and he resolved "I think it's better to love everyone around you just enough that you won't regret losing them."
* ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'': Ever since [[spoiler:the death of her father, Emi Ibarazaki]] is deathly afraid of forming close bonds with others. She starts to overcome this trope in the good ending of her route as she learns the value of others' help and companionship.
* Becca from ''VisualNovel/{{Melody}}'' responded to the pain of her breakup with her former best friend-turned-boyfriend that she shunned social interactions with anyone outside her family.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Webcomics]]

** This is the theme of ''WesternAnimation/CareBearsInTheLandWithoutFeelings''. A young boy named Kevin is so upset about moving and leaving his old neighborhood and best friend behind that he decides it's better not to care about anything or have any friends anymore. He runs away and is found by Professor Coldheart, who promises he can make that happen...

->'' “If no one touches me – no one can hurt me. All I have to do is never care.”''

* In ''Anime/MobileSuitGundamAGE'', [[spoiler:[[BigBad Lord Ezelcant]] claims that this is the way the entire nation of Vagan feels; it's too painful to love others and have relationships when there's a very good chance that either you or those you care about will die young due to an incurable disease.]]
* Shinji Ikari of ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'' tries to have this attitude due to his mother's death and his father abandoning him, but he isn't very successful at not caring or not getting attached. Having no expectations doesn't protect him from disappointment and he sorely desires the human contact he tries to avoid.
** [[spoiler:Gendo]] is revealed to have chosen this route in ''End of Evangelion'' due to his inability to relate to other people. In particular, he feared hurting [[spoiler:Shinji after Yui's death]] and being hurt in turn, so he chose to avoid him for both their sakes. [[spoiler:Ironically, it was his abandonment of Shinji that ended up giving the boy one of his deepest emotional scars. Although considering the job he did of raising [[EmotionlessGirl Shinji's]] [[NoSocialSkills half-sister]], in the very loosest sense of the word, you can't help but wonder if he did kind of have a point.]]

* ''Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'': This is a large part of Homura's character. [[spoiler: By the time the story begins, she's gone from being a shy girl cursed with [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway non-offensive magic]] determined to [[EverybodyLives save all her friends]] from a powerful (but [[EliteMook still killable]]) EldritchAbomination to a BrokenAce (with [[HeartIsAnAwesomePower awesome powers]]) out to [[AlwaysSaveTheGirl just save her very best friend]] from a [[CosmicHorrorStory much bigger problem than anyone knew existed]]. She still cares about that ''one'' friend, but can no longer afford to worry about anyone else.]]
* In ''Franchise/OnePiece'', this is the reason for Nico Robin's mannerisms, according to WordOfGod. She used to refer to her crewmates only by nickname or their title rather than their names because she didn't want to get attached to them after being used and betrayed by everyone else she associated with. [[HopeIsScary She even freaked out]] when another character referred to them as her friends. [[spoiler:[[CharacterDevelopment She grew out of it]] when the Straw Hats proved she could trust them by demanding that she allow them to rescue her from the world government's capture.]]
* Tsukishima Kei of ''Manga/{{Haikyuu}}'' is basically this trope. The reason for his detachment and indifferent attitude towards volleyball is that after a rather traumatic incident with his brother, he came to the conclusion that the more he cares about something, the more he will suffer if he doesn't succeed. He constantly tells himself (and others) that Karasuno is just a club and that anything that happens doesn't really affect him. [[spoiler:[[CharacterDevelopment That all changes]] when he manages to score a point against Shiratorizawa in the third season by blocking [[TheAce Ushijima's]] spike.]]
* Sousuke of ''Literature/FullMetalPanic'' has developed a severe case of this from his life as a ChildSoldier, never entertaining the idea of where he might be five years in the future because he can't even expect to survive to the end of the day. It's the first thing to go once he starts shedding his "[[DefrostingIceQueen mental permafrost]]", which isn't great for him because he quickly discovers that LoveHurts and HopeIsScary as all hell.
* In ''Literature/DateALive'', Mukuro sealed her emotions away completely with her angel (read: weapon) so she could never be hurt again. The result is a scary, amoral spirit who just wants to be left alone and is indifferent to the fate of those around her until Shido unlocks her feelings with Natsumi's angel (transformed to look and work like Mukuro's).
* Suspected by Shinra to be Izaya's reason for loving all humans in ''Literature/{{Durarara}}''.

* Mary Jane Watson from the ''ComicBook/SpiderMan'' comics often acted as if she didn't have a care in the world beyond dancing and partying. We later learn that it was largely an act to hide the pain brought on by her [[AbusiveParents abusive father]]. A large part of her character development was learning she didn't have to wear the facade and overcoming the CommitmentIssues associated with it.

* ''Franchise/WonderWoman'' [[ComicBook/WonderWoman1942 Vol 1]]: After her husband's murder and daughter's abduction by the Nazis Paula decides she can only afford to be indifferent at most to the rest of humanity, her heart can't take any more heartbreak and she's decided that she's willing to damn everyone else to save her daughter Gerta so she cannot care about the many innocents whose lives she's going to ruin by allying herself with the Nazis to keep them from killing Gerta. By the end, she's even come to enjoy some of the sadistic torture she inflicts.

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Frozen|2013}}'': After an incident in her childhood when she accidentally hit her little sister in the head with her ice powers, Elsa detaches herself from her relatives and locks herself in her room, convinced that she should "conceal, don't feel" and is better off alone.

-->'''Meg''': Sometimes, it's better to be alone. Nobody can hurt you.

* Will in ''Film/GoodWillHunting'' is an orphan whose adoptive father used to beat him. He learned to push people away when they get too close because he is afraid the relationship won't work out and they will hurt him. Thus, he falls in love with Skylar and then suddenly breaks up with her because of this. In the end, the psychiatrist, Sean, manages to get through to Will and make him understand that he has an attachment disorder. After fully realizing what he's been subconsciously doing, Will [[CatharticCrying finally allows himself to cry like a child]] in Sean's arms and decides to abandon said behavior.

* Creator/MercedesLackey's ''Literature/HeraldsOfValdemar'':
** In ''[[Literature/TheLastHeraldMage Magic's Pawn]]'', Vanyel decides to cut himself off from all emotion as a way of dealing with his emotionally abusive father and his exile to a strange city. This starts to be reflected in RecurringDreams in which he is slowly turning to ice until he eventually opens up to [[ClosetKey Tylendel.]]
** Her short story "Medic", based on her FilkSong of the same name, focuses on a combat medic who constantly transfers to new posts to avoid getting familiar enough with anyone to be hurt when they die.
** A general theme in her writings is that monarchs, commanders, and others who might have to send soldiers to war have to assume some emotional distance as part of TheChainsOfCommanding. The kings and queens of Valdemar can unburden themselves on a particularly wise Herald, but others have to just cope as best they can.

* In the ''[[Literature/TheMirrorOfHerDreams Mordant's Need]]'' books by Stephen Donaldson, Terisa Morgan's "fading" is a variation of this which she is able to invoke.

* In ''Literature/SailorNothing'' the main character feels like this during a HeroicBSOD.

** ''Literature/{{The Way Of Kings|2010}}'': Kaladin tries this to fight his ChronicHeroSyndrome because everyone he tries to help [[DoomMagnet ends up dead]].

* ''Literature/TheWheelOfTime'': Rand Al'Thor's struggles with TheChainsOfCommanding and the stress of being TheChosenOne lead him to try to {{Invoke|dTrope}} this, believing he has to be dispassionate and "hard" to be strong. It only accelerates his SanitySlippage. Ultimately, in his DarkestHour, he [[spoiler:{{Defie|dTrope}}s the trope, realizing that love is itself a source of strength.]]

* Lexa from ''Series/{{The 100}}'' lost someone close to her once, and decided the only way to get over the pain was to suppress her ability to love, [[LoveIsAWeakness believing it to be a weakness]].
* ''Series/DoctorWho'': At the start of [[Recap/DoctorWho2012CSTheSnowmen "The Snowmen"]], the Doctor is suffering from this. With the Ponds, he has lost one too many companions and he is no longer willing to commit himself to help Earth and humans.
* Özge resolves to become apathetic at the start of ''Series/{{Fi}}'s'' second season, having hit rock bottom after the events of season one. Fortunately, it doesn't stick.
* Caitlin Snow in ''Series/TheFlash2014'' believes indifference is the correct way to go and protect herself after Ronnie's (her ex-fiance and current husband) death, as evidenced by "My once-promising career in bioengineering is over, my boss in a wheelchair for life, the explosion that put you in a coma also killed my fiancé. So this blank expression kind of feels like the way to go. " This trope is [[SubvertedTrope subverted once Ronnie is revealed to be alive after all and is separated from Martin Stein, regaining the ability to control his own body]].
* ''Series/HouseMD'''s MO; he says he only cares about solving medical puzzles and doesn't care about the patients themselves. He [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold almost always]] ends up caring about the patients.
* Eliot in ''Series/TheMagicians2016'' runs into this a couple times, most notably when [[spoiler: Quentin suggests they try being together in the main timeline]]. He later admits that [[spoiler: he rejected him not because he didn't want to be with Q, but because he was afraid]].

-->'''Sherlock''': Alone is what I have. Alone protects me.\\
'''John''': No. Friends protect people.

* ''Series/{{Yellowjackets}}'': [[Recap/YellowjacketsS2E7Burial Burial]] Shauna confesses to Lottie that she has always kept her daughter Callie at arm's length because after her experience with [[spoiler: suffering a TragicStilbirth ''as a teenager'' while stranded for months in the wilderness]] she was always afraid Callie would disappear or never be real.

* ''I am a Rock'' by Music/SimonAndGarfunkel explains why the narrator chose indifference. [[AlternateCharacterInterpretation Or tried to, anyway]]; something in the tone of voice implies they're NotSoStoic as they pretend to be...
-->''"And a rock feels no pain;\\
And an island never cries."''
* In Music/BillyJoel's "An Innocent Man", the singer addresses someone like this in the hope of getting them to learn to love again.
* In Music/PinkFloyd's ''Music/TheWall'', after all the crap his life has thrown at him, which includes a [[DisappearedDad dead father]], an [[MyBelovedSmother overprotective mother]], [[SadistTeacher cruel teachers]], and a rather difficult divorce from his wife, Pink comes to this conclusion when completing his personal wall, closing out the first half of the album. Unfortunately, Pink soon realizes during the first song of the second half, "Hey You," that building the wall to shut out the world around him was a big mistake, as the ensuing isolation wastes no time in [[GoMadFromTheIsolation driving him insane]].
-->''"I don't need no arms around me,\\
and I don't need no drugs to calm me!\\
I have seen the writing on the wall,\\
Don't think I need anything at all\\
No! Don't think I need anything at all!\\
All in all, it was all just bricks in the wall!\\
All in all, you were all just bricks in the wall!"''
* Music/TheOhHellos' song "Hello My Old Heart" is about this trope.
-->''"Hello my old heart, how have you been?\\
How is it, being locked away?\\
But don't you worry, in there you're safe\\
And it's true, you'll never beat, [[LoveHurts but you'll never break]]."''

* Music/KellyClarkson's song "Breaking Your Own Heart" gives an outside perspective on the problem:
-->''"Too many tears, too many falls\\
It's easier here behind these walls\\
But you don't have to walk in the shadows\\
Life is so hard.\\
You're breaking your own heart\\
Taking it too far down the lonely road."''
* Music/NineInchNails' concept album Music/TheDownwardSpiral has ArcWords "nothing can stop me now", which are encountered in the songs "Piggy", "Ruiner", and "Big Man With A Gun"). Some iterations allude to the protagonist's unwillingness to counter his own self-destructive impulses; others, however, embody this trope. [[spoiler:Ultimately subverted in "Hurt", where the protagonist goes out of his way to reconnect with his emotions, though in no less self-destructive a manner.]]

--->'''Taako''': Everyone I've ever met, aside from the six of you, were just ''dust''. Just talking dust. Okay? So I started worrying a lot more about me because what was the ''fucking'' point.

--->'''Taako''': ''(flatly)'' I appreciate what you're trying to do. And I'm on board for whatever the plan is. But understand this; I have nothing, and I don't give a shit. The world is ending, and [[PunctuatedForEmphasis I. Don't.]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Care]]''.

* ''Radio/OurMissBrooks'': In the episode ''Trying to Forget Mr. Boynton'', Miss Brooks [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin tries to be indifferent and forget about love interest Mr. Boynton]]. [[spoiler: It backfires spectacularly as [[ColdTurkeysAreEverywhere Miss Brooks sees Mr. Boynton's face on every new person she meets]]. Fortunately, the episode turns out to be AllJustADream]].

* Fiyero from ''Theatre/{{Wicked}}'' uses a much more upbeat version of this trope, complete with a whole musical number ("Dancing Through Life") cultivating his image as a BrainlessBeauty.
-->'''Fiyero''': ...Life is painless, for the brainless...
** Although a later conversation calls him out on it:
--->'''Fiyero''': Hey! I happen to be genuinely self-assured and deeply shallow.\\
'''Elphaba''': No you aren't, or you wouldn't be so unhappy.
* The song I'm Not Afraid Of Anything from ''Theatre/SongsForANewWorld'' is about this trope. The singer tells of how she lacks the fears her family and friends have, but by the end, we realize that the reason for her "fearlessness" is that she refuses to get truly close to anyone.

* In ''VideoGame/DisgaeaHourOfDarkness'', Demon Prince Laharl wakes up from a two-year sleep (more like a coma) to find out that his father is dead and that he is now inheritor to the throne of Overlord. Angel Trainee Flonne tries to console him about his father's death, but he brushes it off like nothing, which horrifies her. Later, we learn that [[spoiler:Laharl ignores his emotions--especially empathy and love--because of the pain of losing his mother when he was young.]]. Laharl actually cares a lot more than he lets on, but acts indifferent both because he hates the pain, and because [[TheChainsOfCommanding he can't look weak as the Overlord.]]
* In ''VideoGame/StarTrekOnline'', this is [[spoiler:Slamek]]'s attitude towards life. He's been a slave for so long, he [[spoiler:betrays the Reman Resistance to Hakeev and the Tal Shiar so that he can continue to live that life rather than join the fight for freedom.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Slamek''']]: Why would you care about me? No one cares about me. I don't even care anymore. Go away.

-->'''[[spoiler:Flowey]]''': Hurts, doesn't it? If you had just gone through without caring about anyone, you wouldn't have to feel bad now.

* This is why Arianna of ''Webcomic/{{Castoff}}'' plays up her NoSocialSkills. Having lost ''everyone'' she held dear, she's just tired of caring and generally angry at the world.
* Lucinda Potter, the first mate of the villain crew in ''Webcomic/{{Archipelago}}'', has made a DealWithTheDevil to never feel anything again [[spoiler: after a certain man seduced her, promised to come back to her, but never did, which broke her heart]].

[[folder:Web Video]]
* ''LetsPlay/DreamSMP'': In Week 5 of his 'lessons' with Slime (in the fourth "Las Nevadas" stream), Quackity preaches to "[c]reate no emotional attachments to anything [because] everything gets destroyed". Considering one of the examples he uses to illustrate this was him and El Rapids being "abandoned", it carries strong indication that he feels this way as a result of his TraumaCongaLine prior to [[DespairEventHorizon this arc]]... [[spoiler:though granted, he's a massive {{hypocrite}} in saying he lacks emotional attachment, and [[DefrostingIceKing he gets better eventually]].]]
* In ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged'', Kirito comes to this conclusion in Episode 3, after losing his first real friend and after an item rumored to be able to bring people back from the dead turns out to be [[AndYourRewardIsClothes "a goddamn hat."]] Much of his CharacterDevelopment over later episodes comes from this sentiment interacting with the ChronicHeroSyndrome he developed from the same loss.
-->'''Kirito''': But I do suppose I should thank you. You made me realize that by being nice and letting people in... they'll just die. (''{{beat}}'') But still, thank you for showing me that there is a part of me that can feel like this. Because now that I know where to find it, [[NeverBeHurtAgain I've killed it forever]]. So thank you. Thank you for freeing me.

* This is one of the many things that the Franchise/CareBears are trying to prevent by encouraging others to share their feelings.
* In ''WesternAnimation/BarbieInAChristmasCarol'', this became Catherine's[[note]]The Bob Cratchit character.[[/note]] attitude in [[MeaningfulName "Eden Starling"'s]][[note]]Look at her initials...[[/note]] BadFuture after she (Catherine) [[spoiler: tried to [[SavingTheOrphanage save the orphanage]] after being fired on Christmas Day.]]
-->'''Bad Future!Catherine''': Caring hurt, so I stopped.
* This is the theme of ''WesternAnimation/CareBearsInTheLandWithoutFeelings''. A young boy named Kevin is so upset about moving and leaving his old neighborhood and best friend behind that he decides it's better not to care about anything or have any friends anymore. He runs away and is found by Professor Coldheart, who promises he can make that happen...
-->''But, wait, here comes the best part!''\\
''I'll freeze your feelings cold as ice''\\
''And kill your cares! Ooh, that sounds nice!''\\
... ...\\
''I've heard you've been complaining''\\
''There's no need to cry or whine''\\
''I'll refrigerate those feelings''\\
''Why, I found you just in time!''
* This uncharacteristically dark lyric from [[VileVillainSaccharineShow Starlight Glimmer's]] VillainSong in ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', explaining how her {{cult}} effectively enforces numb conformity by [[TallPoppySyndrome removing the pony's talents magically]] and with threats of being locked in a cell to have propaganda blared at them for even the slightest infraction.
--> In Our Town, in Our Town, we work as a team,
--> You can't have a nightmare if you never dream

* Rather common in [[ShellShockedVeteran military units seeing active combat]], especially in wars where high casualty rates are expected. Losing TrueCompanions ''hurts'' so the soldiers stop caring about anything - the NewMeat in particular, as their loss will hurt less if they were just a face rather than a FireForgedFriend.

''Webcomic/ILoveYoo'': Rand presumably cares more about his children than he lets on, however, he pretends to be apathetic towards them as a way to prevent Yui from harming them.