History Main / NoDelaysForTheWicked

-->-- '''Jonah Goldberg''', ''National Review Online,'' 9/13/06

* Averted in a gag in the ''Franchise/SailorMoon S'' season where Eudial calls Haruka's house to leave a message on her answering machine that she has found the holder of a talisman. Eudial's message gets cut off by the answering machine only allowing messages of a certain length, and then she has to call back and leaves the rest of her message, which begins with her yelling about the answering machine cutting her off in the first message.
* Team Rocket on ''Anime/{{Pokemon}}'' get this a lot. While getting blasted off by a Pikachu is always a risk, they almost never get caught or questioned by the police, manage to worm their way into key positions in various companies and events, and can always pick up a menial job that earns them money for the next giant robot. If they do encounter bureaucracy, it's much more likely to come from their bosses collecting debts or cancelling their membership.

* Averted in ''ComicBook/TheInvisibles''. King Mob regards the all too human workforce of the evil overlords as their greatest weakness. See the quote page.

--> Do they think crushing an entire civilization beneath our heels "just happens?" It's all fun and games for them, but I'm the one who has to make the magical lightning-powered trains run on time.

* ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'': This tended to happen a lot in the second season with Azula. She was always wherever she wanted or needed to be. Unlike Zuko, who ran into constant obstacles and troubles, Azula's pursuit of the Avatar is carried out with the implacibility of a machine. Azula herself is ruthless and smart enough that it is fair to think she brooks no delays, but all of her minions seem to be granted the same magical immunity to inconvenience.

* Similar to the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' example, ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBros'' shows that the minions of the supervillains often question the order of their bosses, have very human failings, have a union of their own and will bring their negotiating demands to their bosses who themselves constantly struggle with budgetary contraints. This show loves taking the demolition ball to any trope it can find.

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* Deconstructed in the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' parody of StarWars, wherein Darth Vader (played by Stewie) is wary of cost accumulations in building the Death Star, and a snarky comment from one of the Imperial officers in response to an order to hold his fire returns an angry retort from his supervisor that it's easy for him to joke when he has no budgetary responsibilities:

** In her first real appearance at the start of season two, Azula is told that the tides will not allow them to dock the ship, so they'll have to wait for a more favorable time. She threatens to kill the captain, and he presumably manages to fight the tides, so she definitely does everything she can to invoke this.

Let's say you want to ride in an airplane. The airline staff are always putting your luggage on the wrong plane but if an agent of the GovernmentConspiracy is riding the same plane, his luggage will always be fine. Why? Somehow, the conspiracy makes everybody as competent as their masters - even the airline staff they bribe, who are barely in on the conspiracy at all.

Even stranger is that the power of the conspiracy extends to people who don't work for them. Does the airport have an ObstructiveBureaucrat who makes people miss their planes by petty delays? On bombing day, he'll suddenly be clean and efficient, and the agent will board on time. The conspirators didn't bribe him or blackmail him - he will simply never make a mistake that could hurt them. This power does not extend to the heroes, who may be strip-searched by the bureaucrat while the bomber goes untouched.

This power extends further to inanimate objects. An evil commander's cell phone never goes out of order, but a hero's cell phone will go out of order [[CellPhonesAreUseless whenever it would be inconvenient]] for the author. The stupid ticket machine at the airport which ate the heroes' money will always give the villains the plane tickets they need. The villains will never fail at anything ForWantOfANail. The exception is a SpannerInTheWorks, but that usually [[YouCantThwartStageOne only happens at the end]].

This is perfect for maintaining a {{Masquerade}}. You can have hundreds, nay, ''thousands'' of people keeping the same secret, and nobody will screw it up. TheMenInBlack [[ItWasHereISwear Cleaners]] will never get the wrong address and remove all evidence of alien activity at the house next door of where they should have gone. The assassin never gets cold feet or an attack of guilt or decides he can make more money through {{blackmail}} or writing a tell-all book detailing the conspiracy. The commanders never [[GloryHound put their own careers]] over the goals of the organization, The WeirdnessCensor fails so rarely that the OnlySaneMan is easily dismissed, and the {{Mooks}} never form a [[WeirdTradeUnion union]]. If an employee is [[YouHaveFailedMe executed]], their family or work buddies don't get suspicious and investigate. If there's an EnemyCivilWar, it's probably because of deliberate manipulation on the heroes' part (such as FeedTheMole), rather than the villainous schemes just collapsing under its own weight and contradictions.

One more thing; this trope describes (real or fictional) entities which are realistically prone to complications yet unrealistically immune. Examples of how (real or fictional) entities are [[JustifiedTrope protected]] by the WeirdnessCensor, MindControl, [[BavarianFireDrill human nature]], or [[XanatosSpeedChess integrate those complications into their plans]] belong [[GambitIndex elsewhere]].

Except in parodies, all villains in fiction are magically immune to the problems of bureaucracy, logistics, and bad luck. Their powers are so strong that this even transfers to their lowest minions. This trope is the opposite of the much less common (but much more realistic) DystopiaIsHard.

The GovernmentConspiracy isn't the only group that can do this. An army of Nazis, Orcs, ScaryDogmaticAliens, etc., can march anywhere, any time, without slowing down to rest or eat, while the poor heroes are tired and hungry all the time. [[EasyLogistics Logistics problems - insufficient reinforcements, food, fuel, medicine, pay, equipment, weapons, ammunition, spare parts - don't apply to them]]. The villainous army never slows down because an Evil Supply Officer forgot to order enough supplies, or because a greedy Evil Supply Officer sold some for cash, or [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption because their needs were just plain impossible to meet]]. Meanwhile, any heroic army will have at least one ObstructiveBureaucrat getting in the way.

This power extends further to inanimate objects. An evil commander's cell phone never goes out of order, but a hero's cell phone will go out of order [[CellPhonesAreUseless whenever it would be inconvenient]] for the author. The stupid ticket machine at the airport which ate the heroes' money will always give the villains the plane tickets they need. The villains will never fail at anything ForWantOfANail.

The exception is a SpannerInTheWorks, but that usually [[YouCantThwartStageOne only happens at the end]].

This is perfect for maintaining a {{Masquerade}}. You can have hundreds, nay, ''thousands'' of people keeping the same secret, and nobody will screw it up. TheMenInBlack [[ItWasHereISwear Cleaners]] will never get the wrong address and remove all evidence of alien activity at the house next door of where they should have gone. The assassin never gets cold feet or an attack of guilt or decides he can make more money through {{blackmail}} or writing a tell-all book detailing the conspiracy. The commanders never [[GloryHound put their own careers]] over the goals of the organization, The WeirdnessCensor fails so rarely that the OnlySaneMan is easily dismissed, and the {{Mooks}} never form a [[WeirdTradeUnion union]].

The only way that an EnemyCivilWar can occur is through deliberate manipulation on the heroes' part (such as FeedTheMole).

In an evil empire this is sometimes [[JustifiedTrope justified]] because any incompetent officials were long ago [[YouHaveFailedMe executed]] and been replaced with much more efficient and highly motivated employees. The Heroes on the other hand will constantly try to improve these incompetents rather than [[JustEatGilligan just firing and replacing them]].

One more thing; this trope describes (real or fictional) entities which are either realistically prone to complications or unrealistically immune. Examples of how (real or fictional) entities are [[JustifiedTrope protected]] by the WeirdnessCensor, MindControl, [[BavarianFireDrill human nature]], or [[XanatosSpeedChess integrate those complications into their plans]] belong [[GambitIndex elsewhere]].

See also HanlonsRazor, VillainsBlendInBetter, SinisterSurveillance, OffscreenVillainDarkMatter and RealityIsUnrealistic. When this happens in VideoGames, it's because TheComputerIsACheatingBastard.

Contrast HarmlessVillain, ThirdActStupidity. Not to be confused with MobileMenace.

** Averted with the human-staffed Wyld Hunt. They're funded by battle loot, the empire's government, and various charitable donors and volunteers. As the Isle's DeadlyDecadentCourt fell into corruption and infighting, the Hunt's budgets were slashed and now the organization is only a shadow of its former self.

* The entire Franchise/AssassinsCreed franchise seems to be this at first glance, with the Templars foiling the Assassins at every turn and ultimately shaping the world - and [[WrittenByTheWinners history]] - in their favor. However, in VideoGame/AssassinsCreedIII, the BigBad of the American Revolution-era Templars explains that they are simply [[EvilIsEasy realistic]] and [[EvilPaysBetter opportunistic]] - they don't ''need'' to be perfectly competent to achieve their goals, they just need to [[TheCorrupter accommodate and nurture]] the flaws in human nature instead of attempting to correct them as the Assassins do. [[AsLongAsThereIsEvil As long as there are ambitious, greedy, cruel humans]], there will be Templars to reward obedience with influence, wealth and power.

** Some critics have pointed out [[spoiler:that [[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/solarian-lance-a-short-story-in-the-honorverse.246972/page-15#post-9729932 the Sollies somehow have all the disadvantages of a loose federation of individual states, and the disadvantages of a huge bureaucratic superstate]]. And they somehow managed to miss a war taking place on their doorstep, involving a nation which they are critically dependent on for most of their trade. There's strong indications Weber didn't really think through what they were.]]
*** The Honor Harrington series, it should be noted, changed when [[spoiler: Weber decided not to kill Honor off. But the main reasons the Sollies get caught so short is 1)that they are being manipulated by Mesa, and 2) that they've been so powerful for so long that their contempt for all non-Solarians has mousetrapped them. There are strong indications that some critics didn't really understand what they were reading in the Harrington series]].

* PlayedForLaughs in ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' episode ''Two Dozen and One Greyhounds'', where Mr Burns steals the puppies of Santa's Little Helper and his new [[HavingAGayOldTime bitch]], and Bart and Lisa break into his home to get them back. Burns and Smithers enter the room just in time to see Bart jump down the laundry chute after Lisa and the puppies...who then immediately run into Smithers and Burns again. Burns brushes off how they got their so fast.

* Sort of on display in the continuity of WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries, later on in The New Batman Adventures. Upon the death of [[spoiler: Batgirl]], the police force that seemingly can't do anything without the help of Bruce and his team (an exaggeration, but not by too much) is suddenly very able at figuring them out, isolating them and hunting them down with frightening efficiency, even allowing for the grieving [[spoiler: Commissioner Gordon]] pushing them hard. Then again [[spoiler: it was all JustADream.]]

* Lampshaded in ''Disney/TheEmperorsNewGroove'', when pursuers Kronk and Yzma make it back to the mountain-top palace before Kuzco and Pacha ''in spite of'' having been hit with a lightning bolt and dropping into a chasm.

* Averted in ''Disney/SleepingBeauty''. Maleficent spends years trying to find Aurora to no avail, only to discover that her cronies have [[SurroundedByIdiots spent 16 years looking for an infant]].

* Also noted by Creator/TerryPratchett in ''Discworld/{{Hogfather}}''; paraphrasing "considering their track record in every other area, governments seem rather remarkably competent in the field of hushing things up".

* In ''VideoGame/RainbowSix Vegas'', the villain manages to recruit, train, and deploy enough mercenaries to Las Vegas that they can occupy nearly every casino on the Strip ''and'' Fremont Street. The Las Vegas PD, Nevada National Guard, and armed casino security barely kill any of them. Despite the fact that these are ''mercenaries'' who are quite literally ''standing in piles of money'', none of them simply take the cash and try to slip away. Did I mention that this entire operation, which takes two games to defeat, is only the decoy?
** For an asinine plot cooked up by a [[spoiler: disgruntled Rainbow Operative who decides the best way to get justice for being passed up for promotion is selling US secrets on the black market while his thugs tear up Nevada]].

** It is worth noting, though, that Stirling intended to create a truly awful dystopia.

--> '''Mr Burns''': Oh, there'll be time for explanations later.

** Lampshaded and then explained away in the episode "E.B.E.", where Scully questions why a government incapable of a balanced budget could mastermind conspiracies that The Lone Gunmen espouse. Byers responds that the kind of men who engage in these conspiracies aren't a bunch of politicians on Capitol Hill "trying to bone pages," but are supposed to be an inner level of government that focuses strictly on those kinds of ops. It has implications for the rest of the series; are the Cigarette Smoking Man and his international cohorts acting with the explicit authorization of their parent governments (in short, does the POTUS know of the aliens), or are they so deep and integral that they act with impunity, having no direct line of authority to contend with?

* Downplayed in the Film/JamesBond film ''Film/TheWorldIsNotEnough'', where the bad guys are a relatively small band of Eastern European terrorists, rather than (as usual in Bond films) the well-funded personal army of a megalomaniacal multi-billionaire. One scene has the lead terrorist's accountant complaining to him about 3 vehicles destroyed by Bond in a preceding chase scene; they were rented and the rental company is going to be pissed. Creator/RogerEbert even cited this little scene in his review of the movie while musing about where the villains in movies manage to get all their logistics so tidily.

The exception is a SpannerInTheWorks, but that usually happens at the end.

->''"...Government is staffed with mostly well-intentioned but incompetent people... {{Conspiracy theorist}}s reverse this: They think government is evil-intentioned but supremely competent. That's crazy-talk, Count Chocula."''

** Lampshaded and then explained away in the episode "E.B.E.", where Scully questions why a government incapable of a balanced budget could mastermind conspiracies that The Lone Gunmen espouse. Byers rsponds that the kind of men who engage in these conspiracies aren't a bunch of politicians on Capitol Hill "trying to bone pages," but are supposed to be an inner level of government that focuses strictly on those kinds of ops. It has implications for the rest of the series; are the Cigarette Smoking Man and his international cohorts acting with the explicit authorization of their parent governments (in short, does the POTUS know of the aliens), or are they so deep and integral that they act with impunity, having no direct line of authority to contend with?

** Dexter himself is even worse, routinely tracking down and catching serial killers more quickly than the police due to a combination of figuring things out sooner than even the best trained investigators, and multiple lucky breaks. And he has become so confident in his ability to break in undetected that he' has been known to do so to snoop for petty personal reasons. He does screw up from time to time, but then again, his contingency plans always work out.

* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick '' :

** It's implied in parts of the NegativeContinuity that large portions of world government are aware of the Foundation but know enough not to stick their noses in. Official doctrine in ''many'' stories mentions that if the fate of humanity is at stake the Foundation can hit all sorts of [[ResetButton reboots]]. A couple items in the listings specifically note other organizations working on a cover-up. One specific story has a ReligionOfEvil help contain a mass panic they caused, because EvenEvilHasStandards .

-->''Imperial Officer 1:'' Hold your fire. There's no life forms aboard.
-->''Imperial Officer 2:'' "Hold your fire?" What, are we paying by the ''laser'' now?
-->''Imperial Officer 1:'' You don't do the budget, Terry. ''I do''.