History Funny / JonTronSeasonThree

'''BASICALLY A FACT IN BROAD TERMS'''\\

* The reaction Jon has to Barbie [[BleachedUnderpants being based off a sex toy.]]

'''Jon''': GET OUT OF MY BRAIN! ''([[DropTheHammer smashes the alarm and the stool it's on with a sledgehammer]])''

--->'''Jon:''' Are you kidding me? '''Simba fucking ''[[DrivenToSuicide hangs himself]] when you get a Game Over?!''''' He just ''steps into a noose!'' He doesn't even kick over a chair, ''the earth beneath him just gives way!'' Yes, as you see this game is apparently infamous for its ridiculous GameOver sequences which also include Timon crying while digging his own grave and Pumbaa jumping into a pot of scalding water ([[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer somebody made this, folks, this is real]]). I can't understand: the rest of the game is pretty standard, it's not supposed to be shocking or anything. Maybe they just thought it made sense? Well, what can I say? (''holds up a Lion King DVD case'') Circle of Life, (''holds up a noose'') [[BlackComedy Circle of Death]], huh? [[DontExplainTheJoke Because you know it’s circula-]] ''(SmashCut to [[CrossesTheLineTwice Jontron pretending to hang himself]])'': I can't live in this ''world'' anymore! I saw Timon ''bury himself while crying'', I saw Pumbaa ''cook himself''...it's ''over'' for me!

* The UnfortunateImplications of UsefulNotes/McDonalds backing a UsefulNotes/MichaelJordan anti-drug PSA do not go unnoticed.

'''Jon:''' '''''WHAAAAT?''''' '''AND''', was also a ''very''...''racist depiction'' of a black person! ''This game was approved by Creator/{{Sony}} with '''THAT''' in it?!''

* "And this..." "...is just a [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] gun."

* "[[MondegreenGag IT'S SEAN Lé F**K.]]"

* As well, one of top comments is [[VideoGame/YandereSimulator YandereDev]], yes, that [=YandereDev=], commenting "I'll be your Grimbo, Jon." If you look on some of Jon's other videos, you can see [=YandereDev=] is a VERY big [=JonTron=] fan.

** Bootleg Mufasa randomly spouting a smaller lion head from his mouth à la ''Franchise/{{Alien}}''.

-->''jesus why did you go near snow white you're crazy are you okay do you need any medical attention I'm concerned''

-->'''Jon''': ♫ ''[[MundaneMadeAwesome BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE!]]'' D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! '''AAAAAAIDS!''' THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL DA [[CrossesTheLineTwice CATHOLICS AND JEWS]] AND PLAY [[Franchise/MagicTheGathering MAGIC DA GATHERING]] WITH '''''SATAAAAAAAAAN!''''' ♫

--->'''Jon''': ♫ PLAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN [[DawsonCasting WHO'S]] [[SarcasmMode DEFINITELY]] '''[[DawsonCasting COLLEGE]] [[BlatantLies AGE!]]''' Wait, why did that guy just blow smoke out of his face? That's weird...
---> WHEN YOU DIE IN THE GAME, YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE EXCEPT ♫ ya don't, you go back to your dorm and play some ''[[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV GTA V]]''. Uh-huh? Alright, whatever...

* The pièce de résistance, however, is when Jon reaches "Pablo the Mule Dog". First, you have his response to the titular ''dead'' dog [[BackFromTheDead suddenly pop back up]]:

* '''The Immortal Gatekeeper: ∞ B.C. - 5 seconds ago'''

-->'''Jon:''' D... D-Do you know what a homeless person is? Have you ever stepped foot outside of a mansion before? Has anyone ever ''frowned'' at you? Oh, I get it; dis must ALL be a dream, cuz I've been in LA for more than 10 minutes and I haven't seen '''ONE''' hypodermic needle or used condom!

** Bootleg Mufasa randomly spouting a smaller lion head from his mouth a la ''Franchise/{{Alien}}''.

** [[BitingTheHandHumor The irony]] of Jon getting a [=C&D=] from Creator/{{Disney}}.[[note]]At the time, Jon worked for Creator/{{Polaris}}, a subdivision of Maker Studios... which is owned by Disney.[[/note]]

* Seeing the small blimp with the swastika[[note]]Here used in its [[UsefulNotes/NonNaziSwastika original, peaceful Asian context (i.e. the Manji)]], but played [[ThoseWackyNazis Nazi]] for RuleOfFunny[[/note]] on it results in multiple reactions:

'''Narrator''': And then there's Sunny, who took care of the plants and animals...\\

* "Oh, and there it goes. -200 Damage to my [=DVD=] player for [[TakeThat reading the data on this goddamn disc]]."

[[folder: Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf]]

** Aside from that, Jon points out that the [=PSA=] "is basically rambling".

-->'''Jon:''' I don't any of you guys need any more drugs. Looks like you've done all the drugs needed.

-->'''Dealer!Jon:''' Come on kids, don'tcha wanna bite of one of these babies?

** And then, after watching the rest of the [=PSA=] in StunnedSilence, all Jon can do... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgkijOPNx6Y is]] make his ''own'' PSA, parodying the aforementioned Michael Jordan one, stilted dialogue and all.

---> '''Jon''': (spits) Fuck christmas! I’ll rather drink my own urine than celebrate christmas! (to viewer) Thanks for watching my christmas special everyone, be safe (spits)

-->'''Darth Vader''': [[DoubleEntendre Your will is strong]], I'll give you that.

-->'''Jon''': It must be perfect.. never clean... NEVER CLEAN!! The past never happened, I'm in control of my life!!

-->''[Cue smooth jazz music as the camera moves along the saber suggestively]''\\

--> '''Jon:''' I tried this tactic on my grandpops [[CrossesTheLineTwice to get him to stop drinking and throwing stuff]], [[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment but all he did was]] ''[[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment screeeam]]''.

[[folder: Jon and Ethan Learn Kung Fu]]

[[folder: The Jontron Challenge]]

[[folder: Hunting DUNGEONS!! (In a dungeon...)]]

[[folder: FIREWORKS FULL COVER]]

-->'''Doll Jon''': I maxed out my credit card!

--->'''Jon''': That one looks like WesternAnimation/{{Mickey|Mouse}}. And that one looks like [[TakeThat a cease and desist.]]

* Jon trying to uncover the mystery behind Barbie's ability to do everything, including a Siri-style app called [=iJacques=] and a trip to the library.

* Jon remarks on how surprising it is that [=McDonalds=] has been able to get away with having a clown as their mascot for so long.
-->'''Jon''': Because Ronald [=McDonald=] does not make me want to buy a hamburger. He makes me want to call the police.

'''Jon:''' Oh, now we're getting into some deep shit. I don't know if I'm ready for that... Also, what? What? What?! Whaaat?!

-->'''Jon''': THAT WAS FUCKED UP! OKAY, KOOL-AID FOR *cough* ATARI!\\

'''Jon''': IM'MA REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

--->'''Jon''': And let me tell ya, that's not the only talking cat I got in this house. And no, by the way, I am not referring to Talking Tom.\\

-->'''Phil''': We sold the websites...\\
'''Jon''': The websites?\\
'''Phil''': Interface...\\
'''Jon''': The interface too?\\
'''Phil''': The code that I worked half my life on...\\
'''Jon''': Oh God, I can understand the interface, but you ''sold the code?!'' Think of who you're affecting!

-->'''Jon''': ''(Echoing)'' Wait, what was that? ''Huh?''

-->'''Duffy''': Read your beeping machine.\\
'''Jon''': ''(Astounded)'' Oh... my ''God''... I don't know if I can let that slide.

--->'''Tina''': [[CaptainObvious ...You're a cat.]]\\
'''Duffy''': Read your machine.\\

'''Tina''': [[CaptainObvious And you're talking?!?]]\\

'''Tina''': ''How?!?''

--->'''Jon''': And can you believe they accomplished it, all on such a s- a low budget? (Claps) [[SarcasmMode Inspiring.]] [[SlowClap (Keeps clapping)]] What [[PunctuatedForEmphasis hard, American, work!]] will ''get'' you in this!- [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK!]]\\

'''Jon''': Excuse me, what do you think you're doing on my wall, huh? (Takes it down, slams it on the couch) You think you're something special, Mr. Joel?! Okay, now, ''this''- (picks up the "Film/ATalkingCat" poster, kisses it twice) -you're gonna learn from THIS! (Hangs it up) [[SarcasmMode Now]] ''[[SarcasmMode that's]]'' [[SarcasmMode taste!]]

--> '''Jon''': ([[{{Beat}} long moment of horrified silence]]) ...[[CrossesTheLineTwice Well that cat ain't talking no more, I'll tell ya that much.]]

-->'''Jon''': ''Is this a movie or a money laundering scheme!?''

-->'''Duffy''': What's so crazy about it?\\
'''Chris''': ...You're a cat!!\\
'''Duffy''': You're a human!\\
'''Jon''': AND '''I'MMMM''' about to blow my '''FUCKING''' brains out!

-->'''Jon''': No no, that's good, I just wanna make sure that's what we're going for there.\\

'''Jon''': (Curled up in the corner, covering his bare toes with his hands) Don't look at them! They're hideous! I belong in the bell tower! You call me the freak but YOU'RE all the freaks with your FIVE TOED FEET! (hisses).

-->'''Jon''': "The Skateboard Kid!" Here we go!\\

-->'''Jon''': Mr. Border is gonna really appreciate this, I just feel it.

-->'''Jon''' (''dressed as a chicken''): Well first of all, that insult could've used some work. Second of all, the pain and humiliation I feel daily are immense. For someone like you to cut someone like me deeper...Well, you must have problems yourself buddy, so I feel bad for you, (''whips out a nunchuck and begins swinging it around awkwardly'') ''[[MoodWhiplash and how fucking dare you say that to me!]]'' '''''[[MoodWhiplash I'M GONNA MAKE YOU FOR-REGRET THOSE GODDAMN WORDS!!]]'''''

* Jon describes Obi-Wan's face in the title screen of ''Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles'' as looking like he's "listening to his friend's parents fight during an awkward family dinner." The camera then zooms in on his face as a muffled argument between a husband and wife plays in the background.

* One of the flash games based on ''Revenge of The Sith'' being a "Scene-Bot", or as Jon puts it, a "Creator/GeorgeLucas special edition simulator".

* The Jar-Jar Binks dubstep action figure GainaxEnding, which has a GainaxEnding of its own with the scenes of Jon as an action figure and the Jar Jar action figure floating in space.

'''Jon''': Is it, Debbie? Well, I suggest you read a totally real book that has absolutely no poisoning, maiming or killing and it called the [[Literature/TheBible Holy Bible]] and--\\

* The cameos of [[WebVideo/SteamTrain Ross]] who somehow flew his X-Wing into the bottom of the ocean and [[LetsPlay/{{Markiplier}} Markplier]], who ran into [[Literature/TheMagicSchoolBus a red-haired lady riding a "wizard-like school bus" and now is stuck inside Arnold]]. Once Jon comes in contact with Goblin-Head Boy, he just decides to blast the whole thing to hell.

[[/folder]]

-->'''Jon''': [[WhosOnFirst Oh hi, Just Leaving]], I'm *blows whistle* '''''RAPE!!!'''''

--->'''Jon''': ♫ PLAAAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN [[DawsonCasting WHO'S]] [[SarcasmMode DEFINITELY]] '''[[DawsonCasting COLLEGE]] [[BlatantLies AGE!]]''' Wait, why did that guy just blow smoke out of his face? That's weird...

-->'''Jon''': ♫ ''[[MundaneMadeAwesome BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE!]]'' D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! '''AAAAAAAIDS!''' THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL DA [[CrossesTheLineTwice CATHOLICS AND JEWS]] AND PLAY [[Franchise/MagicTheGathering MAGIC DA GATHERING]] WITH '''''SATAAAAAAAAAN!''''' ♫

--->"The ''fish'' aren't obstacles, '''nothing in the environment''' is an obstacle, even '''''THE LACK OF OXYGEN''''' isn't an obstacle... the only thing keeping me from completing this game ''is not giving a shit.''"

-->'''Jon:''' I did not add this music...I would have never thought to add this music...this is the real music...I'm never going to sleep again...

-->'''Jon:''' ''[as clothes]'' ''We'd look great on you, Barbie. Buy us. [[SurpriseCreepy I want to feel your skin inside me.]]''

* ''[[SurpriseCreepy "I held my son's lifeless body in my arms, and I asked God whyyy..."]]''

--> I'll show you! I'll make the best skateboard of all time, [[SurpriseCreepy and then I'll kill all of you and hide the bodies]]-I mean, wait, [[VerbalBackspace not that last part]]...

* When Luther keeps smiling creepily at Nora, we cut to Jon, ''[[WholesomeCrossdresser dressed as Nora]]'' (complete with Jamie Lee Curtis wig), saying "If you keep doing that, I'm gonna have to go to the police". Cut back to [[SurpriseCreepy a reddening creepy Luther]] with a demonic-sounding [[Series/HomeImprovement "AEUHHH?"]].

* In response to Luther, "[[SarcasmMode like a normal person]]", handing out flyers to ''everyone in his office'' that he isn't doing Christmas, Jon wonders who would actually care. Cut to two employees (one played by Jon) getting said flyers. Jon!Employee goes into a ThousandYardStare form of TranquilFury as he crumples the flyer, while the ''other'' employee... [[SurpriseCreepy ...well...]]

--> '''Jon:''' I tried this tactic on my grandpops [[CrossesTheLineTwice to get him to stop drinking and throwing stuff]], [[SurpriseCreepy but all he did was]] ''[[SurpriseCreepy screeeam]]''.

--->'''Jon:''' What ''is'' this, some kinda [[Franchise/TheTwilightZone Twilight Zone episode]] where Barbie just keeps getting ready for various dates with Ken, when in reality Ken died in a horrific yachting accident that Barbie refuses to accept?\\
'''Jon as Ken:''' (sounding normally) Hi, Barbie! It's Ken! I miss you. It's so quiet after you die. There's nothing. But the voices, they never stop. ({{Beat}}) [[YourDaysAreNumbered See you in an hour!]]

* The video ends on a close-up of Ronald Reagen turning photo-negative, with a cheeseburger smoking a blunt covering his face, as a wet fart sound and intense musical cue play at the same time.

-->'''Barbarenos''': Now every young boy in Nebraska knows that if he gets a [[ADateWithRosiePalms little too curious down there]], severe blindness and furry palms will ensue...

* '''[[ItMakesSenseInContext FURIOUS]]''' '''[[ADateWithRosiePalms MASTURBATION]]'''